Wellish

This week I am breaking down 5 things that if I had only known sooner, would have sped up my journey towards mental clarity tenfold. I get into my behavior in my unhealthiest state, exploiting myself for your entertainment per usual, and how making these VERY SIMPLE changes/realizations instantly propelled me forward in becoming a higher version of myself.

Passing judgement isn't toxic. It becomes toxic when we start imposing our judgements on others. If we keep them to ourselves they can be used for what I think this inevitable feeling is truly for. Allowing our judgements to point us towards our ideal selves, getting to know ourselves better, and helping us decipher the things we do and don't believe in to create a life we're proud to live. I'm sick of feeling like an a*shole every time I judge someone and never being able to maintain the unbreakable habit of being impeccable with my word. As long as we aren't intentionally or unintentionally causing harm to others we can redirect these seemingly negative thoughts to something more constructive for our own growth.

If you are the relationship type and have ever felt insecure about not being the casual dating type. Relationships have been given this stigma of being too much work and/or commitment, too boring or stagnant, essentially as soon as you are in one, you lose your edge. While casual dating is glorified and sexy, but most of the time can actually feel much more miserable than the long term relationship. If you have ever felt less than good enough for not being here for the hoe phase, we are normalizing long term relationships feeling sexy.

If you're like me and find yourself shoulding yourself all too often, essentially you are telling yourself you're not good enough. You have to put intention behind making this mindset shift and today we are walking through specific ways to start doing this. We get into the question of who we are and how intertwined a shoulding mentality is with this concept because of how much we get caught up in the shoulding that we lose touch with what we actually want. This leads to us knowing the person we're supposed to be and not actually who we are. Navigating away from this will help us regain our ability to discover what we truly want in order to start taking the correct steps that will get us closer to a life we feel good about living.

Last week I was tearing myself to shreds that I wasn't living the life I wanted to live. I am so sick of listening to other people's success stories to make me feel better or hearing the advice of look how far you've come. It doesn't satiate my desire to attain the life I continuously find myself picturing in my head. This week we're talking about what does satiate that desire, how to stop beating yourself up over the life you're currently living.

After spending the last month telling you guys how we can love ourselves to the fullest I feel like I leaned so much into the kinda well side of myself that I don't want the kinda toxic part of me (literally 50% of who I am) to slip through the cracks. This week I am breaking down for you all of my toxic traits from petty ones to ones that I should probably look into fixing a little harder. All in all, isn't it our toxic traits that make life a little more entertaining though?

For our last day of this month long series together I want to of course ease some of the pressure. I never expected you to get all the way through the 28 Days Of Self Love and be completely healed from whatever was troubling you when you began the challenge. That's because there will always be shit to heal from. We can't expect to be fully healed to just be knocked down by life's bullshit that so much of the time is out of our control. But we can love ourselves 100%. The same way that you continue to love another person or pet more and more everyday the same applies to yourself. You can love yourself fully today and just keep loving yourself more tomorrow. I love all of you so much and I am so grateful for everyone who too this journey with me. I will talk to you Ishies MONDAY!!!!

You are not stupid. There is a reason behind your thoughts. At the end of the day there is a reason you are having them. This is not to be mixed up with your overthinking mind, but looking at your initial thoughts and diving into the core of it to discover the truth is going to save you a lot of time and grief compared to not listening to it and finding out, typically in a harder way, that you were right.

As we come to the end of our self love journey together I want to talk to you guys about one of my biggest fears. I believe that the more you step into the the best version of yourself the more you are becoming your truest, most genuine, self. Therefore, when you are given the opportunity to show people this evolved version of you and you face the possibility of being rejected or judged for who you ACTUALLY are??? Phew, terrifying. Not to mention the possibility of losing the current people in your life who have already accepted the old version of you. We're covering all of it today.

The word evolution sounds soooo long term. No thanks. I want to feel like the best version of myself now. I don't want the only answer for this to be that I need to accept myself flaws and all as I am right now because again that's something that takes practice, in other words, time. I want answers now and to feel good about who I am now compared to constantly waiting to meet this better future version of myself that never actually arrives. Evolution doesn't have to be long term and I want to tell you guys how to become the new you right now.

Sometimes the thought of being what the world considers sexy is daunting. Especially now that we live in a world that has examples of what it means to be sexy everywhere you look. And all of those examples some how look....the same? lol. So what do you do if you don't fit that specific mold? That means you can't be classified as sexy. I refuse to succumb to that pressure. I want to challenge what it means to be sexy so you can feel good about how you specifically radiate sexy.

We know that making decisions easier is something that comes from confidence and that being able to make decisions is something you're "supposed" to be able to do. But from one indecisive mfer to another, how can we start incorporating this into our lives? I have a couple tricks up my sleeve to make the daunting decision making task a little easier!

Self doubt is so far engrained in my daily way of thinking I don't realize the subtle ways that I constantly do this. Other times it's very obvious and I feel like I'm drowning in a deep pit of uncertainty of who I am, what I doing, why sh*t happens the way it does the list goes on & on. I want to talk about a way to stop this that doesn't require you to love yourself first. The only thing you need to make this happen instantly is a little bit of courage.

If any of my episodes are calling the kettle black, it's this one. I used to live my life in a constant state of rumination. It is one of my least favorite feelings because not only would I be driving myself nuts, I would want so badly for it to stop, but have no capability of putting an end to the issue. Looking back, I was never given anything concrete to try. I want to give you things you can actually utilize to calm your spiraling mind. Find that in today's episode!

One of the feelings I hate the absolute most is feeling like I cannot get a handle on how I act in order to align with how I want other people to view me. Honestly, I have a hard time aligning my actions with how I want to view myself sometimes. Learning my needs has been one of my favorite tools in nailing down who I am, loving who I am for understanding those needs, and capitalizing on them in order to create a life I love. I want you to have the ability to do the same, so I am outlining it all in day 20 of the self love challenge.

I would never insult my Ishies intelligence by letting them know "comparison is bad". Old f*cking news. It's so much deeper than that. Instead I want to help open your eyes to the ways that you may be doing this you're not even aware of and give you a new perspective on why you need to knock that sh*t off.

We always hear how once we love ourselves we will be able to handle these awkward situations like being the center of attention. But, while that's true, that's not how life works. Life happens, these awkward situations happen, while we are learning to love ourselves and if we don't enter the situation with intention, we fall into the trap of lessening our love for ourselves. The exact opposite of what we want to do. Learn how to enter the situation of being the center of attention knowing what to do and love yourself more because of it.

Creating a safe environment that allows yourself the space to grow and the intention to focus on your self love is crucial when it comes to loving yourself. It is next to impossible to fill yourself up when you are constantly surrounded by negativity draining you of your energy. While this isn't feasible for everyone all of the time there are things you can do to create a safer environment for yourself that allows you to put the intention back on yourself without cause too much havoc in your life.

Sure, it's good to work on yourself gain confidence and self worth to attract someone that is worth while into your life. But the real answers are a much simpler than that. A lot of the time we have no control over who pops in and out of our lives and when and it won't perfectly align with our own personal wellness journey. So, how do you manifest and ideal partner while still working in yourself? Find out on today's episode!

If you've ever taken a psychology class or heard of Sigmund Freud you have probably heard of the concept of the id, superego, and ego. I need cold hard evidence that the bullshit my brain is putting me through is for a reason and lot of the time I have a hard time finding the happy medium with what I am willing to settle for mentally. I am going to apply this psychoanalytic personality theory to our self love and mental health and hopefully make your brain a little bit nicer to you in a way that your brain ACTUALLY operates.

The concept of dating yourself isn't a new one. It's definitely a good idea and gives us a little bit of a perspective on how to love ourselves better. But the expectations we set when it comes to dating ourselves have been a tad skewed. We must find a way to date ourselves not to replace the feelings we get from a relationship or to become more independent and not need those things from a relationship, because that's just unrealistic. The idea here is to build the habit of caring for yourself that way if you're in the best relationship ever you will still have your back and make yourself feel full, if you're not in the best relationship you will have the strength to find better because you know what it means to date you well since you're doing it yourself or if you're single you know what expectations to have when you do find a relationship. Happy Valentine's Day Ishes <3

You want to learn to love yourself but you're stuck in all awareness stage of loving yourself mentally? Let's start with the basics. Loving yourself doesn't have to be that complicated and sometimes we can find the most pride in what we can feel accomplished in physically. The evidence of what we have done to love ourselves is right in front of our faces when it comes to body maintenance compared to the progress we have made mentally that may not feel as apparent.

Because body image is a HUGE part of self love it is so often talked about that the idea becomes too broad and we are not looking at what realistically is going to help us. We start wondering why our body isn't good enough to fit into whatever beautiful standard is racing across the internet. I want to find a way to ease that though process that can whip us into psycho buy every product we can get our hands that will help me mode!

A big piece of the issue with loving ourselves is the embarrassment and shame we feel whether thats in the moment of an embarrassing thing happening or a random memory from 10 years ago pops into our head and we can't help but cringe. We have to learn how to detach our identity from the shitty embarrassing things that inevitably make their way into our lives.

There are two types of saying no: saying no to others and saying no to yourself. Both come with difficulty. But the good news is that with enough practice and applying the right techniques you not only can show yourself that you are capable of saying no guilt free, but that most people don't respond in a negative way. If anything it shows your confidence, love for yourself, and helps gain respect. Listen and find out how!

Confidence means trust. Can you build self trust enough in order to become confident? For one of the most talked about topics, it's interesting that so many people continue to struggle so much to achieve it. Today I am walking you through some ways that will give you the instant gratification of confidence when you need it and when applied enough will help improve your confidence for the long term. I also dive into what deep roots you need to work through in order to become a confident person long term. There's something for every Ish here. Tune in!

Ishes this is probably my favorite topic of all time. Standing up for myself has been one of the most difficult things I have had to overcome, it has been my biggest insecurity from the time I was a little girl. Because of that, it has been my proudest achievement learning how to stand up for myself and being able to apply it in my life. I tell you guys some pretty intense stories from my life and give you realistic step by step ways to start incorporating this into your life in order to love yourself, not tolerate treatment that's any less than you deserve, and be a bad fucking bitch.

I am in no way shape or form a therapist that has the answers that will cure your social anxiety. I also am fortunate enough to not be a person who has suffered with social anxiety my whole life. I am however a person who has developed this fear through the repetition of rejection. It was become a learned fear in my life. Because of that, I get frustrated because I know life doesn't have to be this way and am often trying to combat it. I wanted to share with you the things that have been the most beneficial for me on my road to loving myself in social situations.

Hi Ishes!!! I felt you guys deserved more than the average self talk convo. This one isn't going to be about how flip your negative mindset to be more positive or how to get rid of the negative self talk completely. Although not impossible, truthfully, I think that those are both pretty unrealistic expectations. I want to give the Ishes a way to use the negative thoughts to strategically shift them to benefit you on your self love journey.

I am so tired of the classic idea that we need to replace internal validation with external validation. They are not the same! You will never get the same feeling from internal validation that you will with external validation. That's because the external validation is a temporary high that doesn't come with the long term satiation of internal validation. But how do we make this happen for ourselves in a way that allows us to curb the external validation AND feel good about that, for good? Listen to episode 22 to find out!

Today I am diving into the 3 main things that I think you ishes need in order to truly define who you are. Defining who you are is the first major step you need to practice in order to love yourself because if you don't know who you are, you will not know what it is you stand by and therefore you will constantly find yourself questioning what you say and what you do. When you truly know who you are you can fully love who you are. How are you supposed to love someone you don't know? Learn how REALISTICALLY through the exploitation my own cringey mistakes when it came to learning to love myself, to hopefully help you on your own path.

Today I am coming to you guys from my actual death bed I am so sick and if that doesn't make for a better you just have to accept the shit that happens to you, surrender to it, and decide how you are going to respond and move forward, I don't know what is! I am talking to you guys about the lack of control we have over the things that show up in our lives. Sometimes we just need to learn to ride the wave in whatever way best suites you.

Today I wanted to talk to you guys about the role your families shaping you has played in your self love journey. This is NOT saying there is a right or wrong way to raise children. All I am saying that the way the people who raised you behave and their conscious and subconscious beliefs contribute to yours and that does not exclude the ways in which you struggle to love yourself. It might be less obvious than you think!

Today I wanted to talk to you guys about the pressure of digging deep into your unconscious mind, doing shadow work, healing your inner child, the list goes on and how you might be overlooking to obvious issue behind your struggle to love yourself fully. I then get into taking responsibility for your issues with loving yourself and forgiving yourself for not loving yourself as you should thus fair. I end the episode with some reflection questions for you to notate in your workbook.

We constantly hear about and a striving to achieve this concept of self love. But some times it can really feel so unfathomable. On this episode I am breaking down the why behind that. The topic is far too broad for something that is so specific for each individual person. I will walk you first through my self love journey, my most impactful breakthroughs when it comes to self love, and at long last the exciting secret I have been keeping from you ishes the last couple weeks. Join me for the first annual 28 Days of Self Love Challenge!!!! I break down exactly how to challenge works in this episode to inspire you not only have a clear vision on what it would be like to love yourself, but giving you the tools to make it a reality. The workbook that correlates with the challenge can be found using the link in my bio. Starting February 1st, I am looking forward to spending everyday in the month breaking down self love to you through brand new mini episodes of Wellish. Talk to you all very very soon!!!!

This week I sat down with online fitness coach and avid travel junkie Serena Batista. We discuss how to use failure as a tool to achieve success since essentially you only tried the thing you failed at with hopes of succeeding. We break down what it means to have the courage to try and fail in order to eventually reach success. We discuss the story we tell ourselves in our heads that we preventing us from prevailing, being stuck between the old and new you, listening to the messages given to you by a higher power, and finding the courage to chase your calling rather than staying stagnant consumed by fear. We then move into conversations of identifying yourself with your failures, the correlation between embarrassment and failure and of course how you can allow your failures to redirect you towards success.

This week I am breaking down my new way to make myself feel good about myself, live in the present, and not put so much damn pressure on myself that I am going to fail if I don't do the right thing. And the good news is I am giving you my step by step tips on how to ACTUALLY implement it into your life so you don't have to live one more moment trapped in self depreciation mode.

This week I brought on two of my close girlfriends to discuss the highs and lows of female friendships and what goes into having a genuine friendship with a woman that you can rely on. We dive into this unspoken desire to be apart of a friend group and how we so often find ourselves tying our self worth to and how it tends to be the relationships with fewer people that are deeper than surface level connections. We then move into the reason women can be so close compared to male friendships, understanding your friends love languages and how it's important to incorporate them into your relationship. We then discuss loyalty in the sense of excluding friends, how to handle it and when to tell your friend when someone doesn't have your best interest at heart without being hurtful. The episode ends with friendship break ups. How to know it's time to move on from a friendship and how to execute the ending of a friendship in the best way possible for you.

Do you want your New Years resolution to ACTUALLY last longer than the next few weeks? I am going to tell you how, but news flash! You're the same person on Jan. 1 as you were Dec. 31st! While the new year is a great opportunity to reset and create a new goal for yourself, don't beat yourself up for not becoming a brand new person right out of the gate. Becoming the best version of yourself is all about the process and it takes time to ensure your new habits incorporate themselves into your life for the long term.

This week I am diving into a number of toxic behaviors that I believe should be given the green light in relationships. Or at least a yellow light. Using my own personal experiences and several of yours who wrote in I narrowed down some of the most popular toxic behaviors that we need to stop being shamed for acting on, especially when most of the time there is an underlying reason for the behavior.

Using Miguel Ruiz's book The Four Agreements as a guide, I have found myself having a really difficult time being impeccable with my word towards myself and others. Speaking with kindness is something that society so effortlessly expects, but using the power of word in the highest regard is so much deeper than just not sh*tting on yourself or gossiping about others. On this episode I walk you through my interpretation of being impeccable with your word breaking down each part of Ruiz's first agreement "Be Impeccable With Your Word" and elaborate both on what I find challenging, and what I do to try and relieve myself of the issue.

On this week's episode I am joined by Doctor of Veterinary Medicine Dr. Elizabeth Dale. She walks us through what it looks like to achieve the dream job she had been working towards since she was just a little girl all the way up to today where she now works for the largest general veterinary practice in the country. Even though Dr. Dale has saved countless animals, she is no exception to the limiting beliefs that run ramped through so many of our minds. We discuss imposter syndrome and perfectionism, the truth behind what it takes to achieve your dream job, the struggles that she faces on a daily basis with the way so many pet owners treat their animals and the mental toll it takes on her not being able to save as many animals as she could if people would prioritize spending their money to treat their pet even when it's as little as $18. Dr. Dale is a great example of someone who seems to have everything together while still combating intrusive thoughts and consistently working to overcome them.

I wanted to talk to you guys about a few different scenarios that I have been in and will hopefully help those of you that have too. I tend to paint a picture or map out an exact plan of how my life is going to go and shockingly (that's sarcasm btw) it doesn't go exactly as planned. AND EVEN BETTER I make that my own fault. It's a really fun vicious cycle I put myself through. I begin with setting too high of expectation for the direction of your life using my life altering decision to most to the east coast & how so far, it hasn't been exactly what I thought I then give you guys some tips about how to navigate attending someone else's Thanksgiving with the holiday coming up because your girl's been ran around the block in some less than desirable situations when it comes to interacting at family parties. So hopefully I can help save you some awkward interactions and families lashing out at you whether you're attending your own crazy family or someone else's crazy family's dinner. Lastly, we are getting into some deep crevices of my sex life and the fears that come with it. Most of which I have never even discussed with any partner I've ever had.

Last week I was NOT doing well mentally, which led me to want to talk to you guys about how easily our emotions can be manipulated, how impermanent they are, and how essentially, we can adapt into any version of ourselves we like by surfacing the emotion that best represents our desired character as frequently as possible to achieve our desired self. I first walk you through my garbage week and how I came to this conclusion, then through what I needed to do to better understand what was going on inside of my brain, and finally, of course, give you all TANGIBLE realistic things that you can add to your life as you see fit to use your inevitable emotions to prevent the familiar past from becoming the predictable future.

This week Sarah strips the barrier of judgment that surrounds not being able to live life alone and be "independent" while promoting the regular practice of solitude to instill confidence and break down the barriers the fear, depression, and anger executing life's activities can bring on. The episode begins with the reason we, as humans, can feel so much resentment towards being alone and the benefits that come from leaving our comfort zone and spending time with ourselves. It then takes listener's through Sarah's experience executing the most common biggest fears of activities to do in solitude by Wellish listener's. Finishing off with real and tangible tips that you can utilize to try and incorporate experiencing life alone into your own life to make it a bit less scary.

This week Sarah navigates how to still be a good friend and not blow people off when a better offer presents itself. She talks about the current issues in her own life that have led her to this topic, how she handles it, and shares the best ways to get what you want while tending to your relationships for the long term, compared to caving to the instant gratification of the newest itinerary option.

Sarah is joined this episode by her friend Sarah Bochnik who's long term relationship with her high school sweetheart has come to an end and not by any decision of Sarah's. The duo discuss the feelings that come with the ending of a long term relationship and how to deal with relapsing and running back to a situation that is less than ideal. The girls then get into expectations placed on us by society from the pressure of dating online to the expectation of having children. If you are in any stage of a breakup, sit back, hang out with us, and find ease in the knowing that you are not failing for feeling any of the feelings that come with change.

This week Sarah walks through the first steps of regaining what caused her self trust to be depleted in the first place, realizing what caused the leak. She walks through patterns from her childhood that have become a clear pathway to current self trust issues for decision making skills in her adult life. She then discusses what she has done to rebuild her trust in herself and practices that can help you rebuild yours.

Strap in for episode to and maybe turn your mic volume down just a tad because we are DONE allowing our emotions to guide us through out lives. Sarah describes her newfound way of bringing the life she desires into her current reality and shares what she found most helpful as she began to stop allowing her entire life to be run by fear. She goes on to explain how we cannot be instantly gratified these ideologies become the elevated version of ourselves because we would have no experience in being able to continue the habits that must be set in place to obtain this desired human experience. We must find solutions now that make up the long term versions of ourselves. Sarah wraps up the episode with her take on how motivation will never get you anywhere close to success and shares what will instead.

Follow along journalist and fitness and personal development coach, Sarah Ritondale as she dives into the transparent details of her life. In her 20's, she exploits the f*ck out of her life letting you in on how what you see glimpses of, from those around you and on social media are never completely accurate. You can expect to eliminate the barrier of getting everything in your life "right" here on WELLISH.