The Overwhelmed Brain

If you're on a road that you believe is never going to end and never going to get better, what do you do? Should you just accept that's your lot in life and you should just accept it? Or do you take a leap of faith in a direction that leads to the unknown in hopes that life will get better? There is always hope, but sometimes it has to be pursued. Visit https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com/ for more episodes

When someone we love passes, it leaves a hole in our heart and sometimes a lack of closure. It's that lack of closure that keeps us in feelings of guilt, regret and other emotions that we just can't shake. If you'd like to heal and move past those feelings and start living life again, this episode may help you achieve that. Visit https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com/ for more episodes

Honoring your boundaries isn't always easy. Some people will think you're being a jerk or stubborn. Some will even say that you're changing in a bad way even though it's good for you. Get clear on what you will and won't accept from others and your life will change for the better. visit https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com/ for more episodes.

Emotional triggers are what develop when you go through a traumatic event in your past, then the memory of that trauma stays with you and comes up at different times causing you to feel upset, hurt, or angry, which can affect your relationships and your life. Experiencing an emotional trigger is like PTSD and it needs to be healed if you want a higher quality of life. Visit https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com/ for more episodes

Cheating and infidelity can be a sensitive topic. You could be a victim to it, you could be the cheater, or you could be the one seeing someone who is cheating on their partner to be with you. No matter what, there is almost always heartache on the other side. It doesn't mean there isn't healing, but there is almost always pain. In this episode, I receive a message from a woman who is seeing someone cheating on his wife to be with her, and I read another message from someone who was once the cheater. Several angles to discuss on the topic of infidelity in this episode. Visit https://loveandabuse.com/ for episodes on emotionally abusive relationships.

Sometimes you have to make a decision you know will have an impact on everyone else, even when your decision doesn't really affect them. They just make it their issue when it's really yours alone to deal with. In the first segment, I read a message from a transgender man who had to make a lot of hard decisions in life. In segment two, I talk about the hard decisions you might need to make in your life when you face resistance from those closest to you. Visit https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com for more episodes.

If you've suffered depression and haven't found your way out yet, or you've found your way out but it still sneaks up on you, I share some strategies in this episode that may help you feel just a glimmer of something better. Visit https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com/ for more episodes.

There are many dysfunctions that can be learned when you're growing up. Many come from trauma, neglect, or abuse, but others can come from seemingly innocent things too. We don't know the full impact our childhood had on us until we're older trying to relate to other people that aren't those we grew up with. In this episode, I read an email from someone who has learned a lot about her childhood dysfunctions and how she is finding her way out of them. Visit https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com/

I read two emails today. One on getting ghosted while dating. A young woman cannot find someone to continue dating because they keep disappearing! And the second segment is about forgiveness and wanting to hate but stopping yourself because of your values or spirituality. Visit https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com for more episodes.

Getting that job, buying that house, moving in with that person, promising to repay a debt... all commitments that that most of us go into with good intentions but is it required to keep them no matter what? Some commitments may need to be re-evaluated to make sure the same criteria still applies. Visit https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com/ for more episodes.

Taking a stand or protesting an injustice in your life isn't always about being aggressive. Often, it can be a peaceful objection that helps you move toward honoring yourself. Sometimes you have to take a bigger stand, even at the risk of loss. In this episode, I receive an email from someone who didn't appreciate my comments from the previous "Take a stand" episode so I talk about taking a stand even more today.

I read three emails that dive into awkward feelings when interacting with others, deciding whether to settle for someone who doesn't know what they want in a relationship, and someone who wrote to me saying that they are lonely and depressed. Lots of variety makes for a packed show. Visit https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com for more episodes.

The challenges of today seem greater than ever. Emotions are running high and we can become triggered easily. What do you do with all this pent up energy? If you're not using it to fight for a cause or help you out of a dangerous situation, it may be festering inside you causing you to feel pretty rotten. In this episode, I give you questions that you can ask yourself to get out of the whirlwind of negativity and into a calmer space inside you. visit https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com for more episodes.

Obsessing about your ex wastes all your time and keeps you in a rut that you can't get out of until you take hard steps to disconnect from them completely. That involves a lot of will power and a lot of knowing that you are amazing, worthy and lovable. Visit https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com/ for more episodes

There is a way to deal with mean family members. It may involve treating them like other people instead of family, which can help you disconnect from wanting to impress them or be loved by them. Or if you're not trying to do that, and you're just trying to get along with them, you might have to dive further into your bag of tools. Visit https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com and https://loveandabuse.com for more episodes.

When you're in a situation that needs to change, but you're too afraid to take a stand or just hope it changes on its own, you may be waiting forever. Unfortunately, waiting for changes can often involve exposing yourself to a toxic environment, causing long-term emotional damage. If you want change, you might have to take a big scary step to get it.

When you can't find meaning and purpose in your life and you're not sure what your next steps are, and perhaps you're feeling antsy or anxious about those next steps, sometimes you have to think outside yourself and figure out what really brings you meaning. I keep the existential very practical in this episode, so maybe it's the trip you've been wanting to take for a while. Visit theoverwhelmedbrain.com for more episodes.

If you love someone, can you set them free to the point where they hit bottom? Sometimes the bottom is the only way back to the top. Tough love exists for a reason and sometimes it is the only way to see true change in someone who is being self-destructive. At that same time, it's important to define what love really is and if you are showing it and receiving it in a way that is healthy for everyone. It's not always easy to love, but it can be extremely rewarding when you have the right formula. Visit https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com/ and https://loveandabuse.com/ for more episodes on relationships

Ever have someone just not take a liking to you? When that happens, do you brush it off and move on with your day? Or do you brood about it wondering what you did wrong and what you can do right to make them like you? Is it okay to not be liked? I talk about that and more in this episode. visit https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com and https://loveandabuse.com for more episodes

Sometimes when you're in a relationship with someone, you might not know where it's going or if it will even make it. I prefer taking action instead of waiting for things to happen. In this episode, I share some ways to take action when there's a decision to be made about the relationship. Visit https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com/ and https://loveandabuse.com/ for more episodes on relationships

When you're doing the work, but the people around you aren't, and you are hoping, wishing and even praying that they "see the light" and make the changes that will be good for them, but they simply don't or won't work on themselves, what's your next step? That's the subject of today's episode. visit https://theoverwhelmedbrain and https://loveandabuse.com for more episodes.

The emotional challenges you experience after breaking up with a narcissist usually go way beyond grieving the end of a relationship. You can be stripped of your ability to see life clearly from that point on unless you heal. In this bonus episode, I cover a lot of ground when it comes to dealing with what happens to your mind and body as you transition out of one of the more toxic relationships that exist. Visit https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com and https://loveandabuse.com for more episodes about this and more subjects.

When you get a second chance at a job, relationship, or anything that you wanted a do-over on, what's the best way to show up? Do you try to impress and show others how much you've changed? Or does that actually work against you? Visit https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com for more episodes and check out https://quietbegins.com for The SAFE System on Anxiety

When someone treats you badly, you can hold on to the emotions of that moment... forever. That diminishes your feelings of fulfillment and satisfaction and can linger with you even on your happiest days. It's time to address those emotional triggers that sneak up on you and ruin your day. Websites: The Overwhelmed Brain Difficult Relationships: Love and Abuse

What is the right thing to do or say when your adult child tells you about their sexual abuse? I read an email from a mom who recently learned that her adult daughter was abused by another child when she was young. I bring my girlfriend Asha, an advocate for the prevention and healing of child sexual abuse, into a conversation about this topic for an honest, heartfelt discussion & guidance for the mom. Prevention & healing websites: https://helpforsurvivors.org https://thefionaproject.org The Overwhelmed Brain website: https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com The Love and Abuse website for emotionally abusive relationships: https://loveandabuse.com

When your top level values are being met in your relationships, the rest of it usually works out. When they aren't, you suffer and the relationship often fails. Every relationship, whether it's platonic, romantic, or family, contains components that make up what we value. Trust contains confidence and honesty whereas distrust contains fear and stress. I talk about that and read a few emails making for a variety show today. Get more TOB at https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com Learn how to deal with difficult relationships at https://loveandabuse.com/

We're all in relationships of some sort, but how happy those relationships are will depend a lot on what you're willing to allow and unwilling to accept. What you allow into your relationships sets the tone for the rest of the time you are with these people. If you allow toxic behavior, life will feel pretty miserable. Relationships require you to have some courage to stand up for what is right for you. Visit https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com for more content on behavior and relationships. Visit https://loveandabuse.com/ if you are having difficulty in your relationship. #emotionalintelligence #selfhelp #personalgrowth #lifeishard #personaldevelopment #selfhelptools #beyourself #authenticity #unlimitedpotential #motivational #youareamazing

You know that feeling you get when someone does something that surprises you in a bad way but they don't tell you why? When you aren't given the reason for their behavior, you may walk around with that unfinished business feeling . It's what happens when you really want to move on from an event in your life but just can't seem to get past the fact that you don't know why it happened. It's a tough place to be, but it needs to be resolved if you're going to move on and enjoy life again. Visit theoverwhelmedbrain.com For help in navigating the difficult relationship, visit loveandabuse.com

Carrying around dysfunctions from childhood makes all your interactions harder and your life tougher. Add to that anyone that says anything critical to you, and any negative feelings you have about yourself are amplified. It's time to access a part of yourself that helps you feel good about yourself - maybe even great.

Long-distance dating can be more challenging than doing it in person, but should it contain anxiety, worry, and being completely unsure if it's even a relationship at all? Someone wrote to me and asked me about anxiety while dating during the pandemic. However, perhaps the answer has nothing to do with the Corona virus and more to do with the person she is trying to connect with.

Can you get back up after a big fall? If you're struggling to do so, your foundation may not be as stable as you'd hoped. The components that make up your life: Your job, your family, your home, the city you live in, your car, etc, all have some sort of meaning or value to you. When you start to let go that which no longer serves you, you start to free yourself from the toxic components. What do you value and what gives you heartburn every time you think about it? Sometimes removing one small thing from your life can make a big change.

What do you do when peace and happiness are just around the corner, but getting there is full of toxic obstacles that you feel powerless against? There may be priorities and values in place that need to be changed, but that's not all. When you don't make the changes you need to make, you end up holding on to resentments and building a wall around your heart so that you connect less and are more unhappy in general.

Social anxiety and feeling awkward in social situations is more normal than you might think. Not everyone is a gregarious extrovert that can start a conversation with anyone. If you're dealing with social anxiety, fear of judgment from others, or loneliness, and you feel like you're not living life to the fullest, this episode may be what gets you through the challenges. Get the SAFE Empowerment System for Social and Generalized Anxiety at quietbegins.com

There's a path out of misery that some people don't take because of fear. But when the misery never ends, why not take that path? The gain is usually far greater than the loss. I talk about that path in this episode. I begin today's episode talking about the coronavirus and what you can do when you don't know what to do.

There are many situations that show up in our lives that challenge us. Sometimes we are able to act authentically and have our truth motivate us to take the right steps. Other times, fear drives us to hold back what we really want to say or do, prolonging our challenges and keeping us from moving forward. The choices you make in crucial, challenging moments such as this can define your entire life, let alone predict your future level of happiness.

If you are cynical about people and feel vulnerable and exposed around most people you meet, perhaps it's time to address that in yourself so that you walk around in confidence. It takes courage and risk, but not at the cost you may think.

Are you just too sensitive or is the other person really being a jerk? I read a follow up email from an episode a few weeks back and answer a question about the difference between being triggered and someone's bad behavior. In segment two, I change it up and talk about child sexual abuse and what might happen when the family secret is found out.

When you're needy and fearful of someone leaving you, or something ending, you tend to miss all the best moments of life. Fear of abandonment can dominate your thoughts causing you to miss out on happiness and fulfillment. When you grow beyond that fear, you might actually starting enjoying life again.

This episode is about selfishness. When you are interacting with people that only want what they want, regardless of how it affects you, you're in for a very dysfunctional, and possibly emotionally harmful situation. It's important to know your line and know when people cross it, then honor that line so that you don't lose a bit of yourself.

Creating a relationship with yourself is the first part of the bigger picture of having great relationships in your life in general. But what happens when fearful people think you're starting to enjoy being yourself too much and are afraid that you'll go off and leave them behind? You start by getting to know yourself, then being unafraid to be yourself, then learning how to deal with others who aren't so ready for your happiness. It's a packed episode.

If you're always looking in the rear view mirror, it's quite possible you're not creating the life you want. Sometimes you get to the tipping point where you just can't stand it anymore and you take action. On segment two, there's a seriously difficult decision facing someone who wrote to me who is married but wants to explore being transgender, but his wife is upset and the marriage is in limbo. The impossible decision looms over him.

When you have a challenge that causes you stress and you want to make the right decision, you may need to dive in a little deeper to get a good answer. Whether you're preparing for what you know will be a difficult time, or you're helping someone else with their problem, there's a way to get to access that inner wisdom for a possible solution.

The feelings of jealousy or envy can quickly take over when someone else gets what we want, or succeeds at something we're trying to accomplish. There's a choice we make in that moment: To be upset and feel defeated, or be inspired to try harder and make something happen. What you choose determines whether you win or lose.

Will you ever have enough love, or enough money, or enough time, or... When you're always trying to get more but never seem to get ahead, it's time to figure out why that is. I talk about that and more in this first episode of 2020.

If you could loosen the grip old emotional pain has on you, do you think you'd feel better and be happier? Whether you're holding on to old negative feelings or you've discovered past emotional wounds, this episode will help guide you to your first step toward healing.

It's important to bounce back from the setbacks and always move forward so that you aren't drowning in the anger, sadness, or upset from the past. Sometimes even present circumstances can be enough to stall your forward momentum. This is why it's vital to make sure you recharge your personal power so that you are no longer a victim to the world and can start taking charge of your life.

Are you really angry at the person standing in front of you? Or is that past unresolved trauma coming up in the moment adding tension and making your loved ones not want to be around you (or you around them)? With holidays and other gatherings, it's a good time to talk about what to do with those repressed triggers that are lying in the deep recesses of your mind.

So you did something you regret and now you walk around feeling guilty... that has to end. Guilt isn't something you keep, it's supposed to be a message that disappears after you've learned the lesson. If you carry guilt, it's time once and for all to let it go.

Sometimes it's a choice, sometimes you don't want it at all, but at one time or another, you're alone. Even when someone you love is right next to you, there are times you still feel alone.

When you go through any type of self-improvement, there will be people that won't support your growth, and there will be those who love that you feel good about yourself and are becoming happier. Those who don't support you improving yourself and making changes that are good for you want you to stay the same so they don't have to adapt to the new you. Those that do support you are just happy that you're happy. I'll give you one guess which ones create the most conflict in your life. Whether its gatherings during the holidays or just regular get togethers, it's time to make a choice about who you're going to be when you see those people again.