The Overwhelmed Brain

What lurks inside the depths of your emotional state that is conjured up when you are triggered? What happens when someone pushes you over the edge? Do you keep your composure or do you lose control? The unhealed emotional space inside you tends to come out in triggered moments. It's time to heal what's left unresolved so that you get the results you want instead of the ones that come from "losing it".

When you dread that phone call or personal visit with family that you hope goes well but never does, it's important to learn how to establish boundaries. You don't want to spend most of your time in anxiety waiting for the next family reunion. Toxic family can make life hard. Not being able to avoid toxic family can make it even worse. Hopefully this episode gives you some tools that help you survive those dreaded family gatherings once and for all.

We can get so good at convincing ourselves how broken or terrible we are sometimes. In fact, some of us go through life thinking that there must be something wrong with us because why else is our life turning out as it is? This is a deep episode that covers a lot, so be prepared to be empowered to learn just how not broken you are.

Challenges are inevitable. They are impossible to avoid. And when you manage to avoid them, do you really learn what you need to in order to get through the next one? You can spend your whole life avoiding challenges, but will you ever feel liberated from the stress and anxiety of life if you do so? I tackle those questions in today's episode.

Is it possible to argue with love and respect for the other person? What if they can't but you can? If you ever feel small or are made to feel inferior after an argument with a loved one, it's time to learn what to do when it goes too far.

What happens when you can imagine what would make you happy, but you can't have it in the real world? Sometimes you have to tolerate the bad to get to the good, and sometimes you just have to get away from the bad altogether.

Sometimes you don't have a coach or therapist around to walk you through the challenges. When you are experiencing a negative emotion, there are questions you can ask yourself to reach a new level of processing and healing. The work of Byron Katie plays a role in this episode as I talk about "The Four Questions" from her writing on "The Work".

If you can't ever seem to win an argument with a certain person in your life, or you feel like you can never get closure on an issue because that person keeps turning it back on you, this episode will give you some tools to use next time you feel like you're losing your power.

When your boss is a jerk, do you still go to work? Most people do, but then what? You continue to accept your boss's bad behavior and just pretend you're not affected? This episodes provides great communication tips not just for your superiors, but for anyone in your life that might just be very difficult to deal with. Free career resources at theoverwhelmedbrain.com/career/

Several major components need to exist in a relationship in order for jealousy to take control. When there's jealousy between you and your partner, there is almost always a decrease in love and connection, and an increase in unhappiness and anxiety. It's time to put jealousy to rest once and for all.

When you have issues with sex in your relationship, and you don't discuss it with your partner, your relationship suffers. Or if you do discuss it and you can't reach a resolution, you will feel it throughout your time together and never be as happy as you could be. Also in this episode, I read an email from someone who disagreed with my advice.

The key to long-lasting happiness and fulfillment is about ten percent luck and ninety percent of what I talk about in today's episode. If you struggle in your relationships, your job, or life in general, you may be sabotaging your own path to success. Start making decisions based on what's most important to you instead of from a fear of the consequences and you'll end up with a vastly different reality.

Relating to other people is the majority of how our life is spent, so what do you do when you can't relate? I cover a lot of topics in this episode, from trying to not upset the balance of a difficult relationship to learning how to not compromise yourself when it comes to creating balance in any relationship. Welcome to the grab bag email episode.

What can you do when you really want to change a person or a bad situation but can't? What if you know someone is awful to be around and unhealthy for you, but you can't get them out of your life? In this episode, I give you five steps you can take to learn what it takes become just a bit happier even when impossible people and things are in the picture.

How big of a leap do you have to take to create real change in your life? Is every step a leap of faith that causes you to carry around fear and stress all the time? Can you take baby steps to heal and grow into the person you want to be, creating the life you want? I explore that in this episode.

Guilt should be a temporary emotion yet so many people hold on to it for far too long. In today's episode, guilt takes center stage, but I spend time talking about how to make the right life choices when it comes to allowing or not allowing the challenges at home interfere with your professional life. I end the show talking about a very effective anti-anxiety technique that I use when I need a quick fix.

It can be so hard to stop replaying fears or trauma from the past or anxiety about the future, but if there was a an alternative to obessively replaying the same negative throught over and over again, would you try it? What if it was ridiculous? What if it was effective? Only one way to find out.

Sometimes you have people in your life who regard you and your feelings as unimportant and below theirs. When you agree with their assessment that you are less important or inferior in some way and don't deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, you start to disintegrate your worth and self-esteem.

What do you do when someone you believe cares about you doesn't stand up in your defense? What if there's a wrong they don't right and you are stuck taking the fall? The subject of today's episode is all about what we expect from others and perhaps, what we shouldn't.

When your thoughts make you feel bad because you believe you shouldn't have them, you might repress them and stuff them back where they came from. However, doing this may be exactly what keeps those negative, intrusive thoughts alive.

You can lose your confidence, energy, and mental and emotional strength when you allow certain unhealthy elements into your life. In this episode, I'll share the important principles that, when practiced, allow you to keep your power and be more fulfilled overall.

One way you can experience inner conflict is when you feel undecided in what to do next. Sometimes we can feel split: A part of us wants to do one thing while another part of us wants to do another. What if those two parts of our mind could work things out? That's what this episode is about.

Making decisions that are right for you involve some scary moments. Some of them are giant leaps of faith with no view of the landing. When you make these leaps, you reach a new level inside you that shows others that you care about yourself enough to take risks for your own empowerment. This is an important episode if you find yourself in a rut of negativity.

Being bullied when you were younger can create unresourceful behaviors and unnecessary fears when you're older. In order to get past these fears, you may have to do some work on yourself.

How do you enable the bad behavior of other people? What actions are you taking that are causing certain people in your life to show up in a way that is toxic or unhealthy? It's very difficult to end codependent relationships, especially when you don't even realize you're in one. This is an important episode if you just can't seem to shake the unhealthy behavior of those close to you.

Passive aggressive behavior is a way to convey anger and upset to someone indirectly. It takes the form of comments that are meant to hurt, but hard to spot as hurtful. They are forms of poisonous communication that can erode love and connection. This episode will give you some tools to deal with passive aggressive behavior and general negativity.

Anxiety is the excessive worrying about future events, based on a story that you tell yourself. However, it's hard to change the story when you actually believe it will happen. On top of that, the more you believe it will come true, the more likely you'll experience a panic attack. Today I share with you how I've overcome anxiety and panic attacks. My methods may be a bit unorthodox, but you might be surprised how effective they are. For help with your anxiety, visit quietbegins.com

Dysfunctions typically don't serve us, they usually get in the way. People pleasing, super perfectionism and responsibility, allowing personal boundaries to be crossed, and so many more behaviors can be obstacles to fulfillment and joy. Some people go their entire lives without being able to get rid of their dysfunctions. So perhaps it's time to utilize them to your advantage and stop chasing the dream of "normal".

When someone puts you down by criticizing or making you feel bad, is their criticism accurate? Do you believe it to the point where you can't let it go? When you get into alignment with yourself morally, ethically, and sometimes even legally, you feel good knowing you are doing the best you can. And when someone tries to come along and knock you down, your solid foundation will keep you up, or at least help you get on your feet faster.

It's hard to enjoy life if you are weighed down with the belief that something bad is going to happen. How can you appreciate today if you believe tomorrow will bring misery? There is a path to a better today. This episode will give you some tools to make that happen.

Wouldn't it be great to be able to release the negative feelings that come up after someone upsets you? Or after you do something stupid and start all that inner dialogue? You shouldn't have to walk around for days or weeks carrying around the emotions you don't want. Learning to purge the unwanted emotions in the moment might make for an entirely different type of life altogether.

What do you do when you're partner does something you don't like? Do you stay focused on their behavior and try to make them change it? Or do you shift your focus on what you can control and do what you can for yourself so that your partner can no longer use the excuse that you're giving them a hard time? Jealousy, self-worth and self-esteem make an appearance in this episode. Sometimes the people we love do things we hate.

If you are driven by a fear of being alone and choose to repress your thoughts and feelings, avoiding conflict and trying to keep the peace, you'll find your relationships slipping into the abyss. The ones you are closest to should be the ones you can express anything to.

If you show compassion toward someone who then takes advantage of that compassion, do you back off on being kind, helpful, and accommodating? Or do you try even harder by showing them even more compassion in hopes they will finally "see the light"? In order for compassion to work, it has to come from an even deeper place of compassion in you... not for others, but for yourself. Then, when you are abundant in self-compassion, you will be able to show genuine caring and compassion for others with no drain on you.

If your partner were having an emotional affair, would you know it? What would happen if their ex came into the picture, and they shared laughs and quality time together, would it bother you? Today is jam packed with a lot of lessons about this subject and many more relationship issues you may run into.

Do you have any regrets? Are you upset about your behavior or a loved one's behavior from long ago and just can't seem to get over it? Who you were in the past doesn't equate to who you are today. If you are going to get past some of the regrets or upsets from the past, you need to learn to differentiate. This episode will tell you how.

The Love and Abuse podcast is about poisonous communication and toxic behavior. This is a bonus episode on The Overwhelmed Brain feed just in case you haven't had a chance to tune into Love and Abuse. This episode is about always defending yourself with certain people. When you find yourself needed to constantly defend, it may be something that is being purposefully done to you. It's time to break that cycle. loveandabuse.com

When you learn what your boundaries are and why enforcing them makes you a happier, more fulfilled person, your life changes. It's time to change your life!

If you want true happiness, you might have to do the scariest thing imaginable: Show up and express the most authentic version of yourself. That can be scary and difficult, and that's why it's important to address and figure out what it entails and how to do it.

Do you make small compromises with the people you love so that they will like or love you more? There are two ways to compromise: One has attached resentments, the other doesn't. I'll give you one guess which method of compromise works better for the relationships in your life.

What if there's a better job or partner out there for you? Why in the world would you commit to what you have when there's a chance someone or something better could come along? Why commit to anyone or anything ever again when you are plagued with the fear that you may not have the best you could get? What if this isn't the person I'm supposed to marry? What if I buy this house but a year later I realize I don't like the city? What if I commit to this job and it turns out I hate it? I address the "What if?" game in a way that makes you think, so you can stop thinking "What if?"

Many fears you have can probably be traced back to a lack of knowledge or exposure. Overexposure to what you don't want creates fear. Underexposure to what you don't want also creates fear. So what does it take to become more fearless? More knowledge and exposure! If it were only that easy.

When your family has dysfunction, family gatherings can be quite a challenge. What do you do in the midst of family drama? Do you recoil and transform into the old, pre-personally-developed you? Or do you stand firm in who you are today and love then with your healthy boundaries? Family is the final frontier of personal growth. You don't want to miss this episode.

Part 2 of "Making decisions that are right for you and tackling obsession and overthinking once and for all". Obsessive thoughts and over analyzing can lead to terrible (or no) decision making causing you to stay in a rut that you can never get out of (or get out of really, really slowly). In this episode, I talk about what it takes to make decisions that are right for you so that you stay out of obsessive thinking and get back to a more efficient, more productive, more fulfilling life.

Obsessive thoughts and over analyzing can lead to terrible (or no) decision making causing you to stay in a rut that you can never get out of (or get out of really, really slowly). In this episode, I talk about what it takes to make decisions that are right for you so that you stay out of obsessive thinking and get back to a more efficient, more productive, more fulfilling life.

What can you do when you are getting humiliated or criticized? Are there practical methods of dealing with embarrassing situations? How about hurtful criticism? There's a lot to unpack here. This episode gets into the challenge of dealing with humiliation and criticism.

When a guilty conscience stops you from living a fulfilling life, it's time to do something about it. In part 1, I talk about an email I received from a woman who was in an emotionally abusive relationship and feels guilty because she thinks she may have been an abuser. In part 2, I talk about the steps you can take to go from guilt to great and why it's so important you release guilt as soon as possible.

When is the right time to leave that toxic person, place or thing? You can have a toxic job, you can live in a toxic city, you can be married to that toxic person, but do you leave? Should you leave? I address something that I believe plagues us all at one time or another.

What do you do about the freeloader hanging out taking advantage of your time, energy and money? How about people that just don't respect you? Do you care enough about yourself to make sure people don't treat you less than you deserve? An important episode if you have people in your life that just don't seem to care what you think.

Want to change your life? These habits may be just what you need to create the life you want. This is a small departure from your typical Overwhelmed Brain content because in this episode I introduce you to another podcast called Optimal Living Daily. OLD is like an audiobook where the hosts reads you personal growth articles every single day. One of the best things about Optimal Living Daily is that it comes at you from every angle because the articles are written by different people with different experiences. It's good to be exposed to all sorts of teachings so that you can come to your own conclusion on what works for you. Enjoy this bonus episode of TOB and subscribe to the Optimal Living Daily podcast to get more personal growth and development to improve your life.