The Overwhelmed Brain

What do you do when someone you care about withdraws and simply can't cope with [you, work, life, etc,]? Do you let them be? Do you try to talk them through it, acting like their therapist or coach? Sometimes it's difficult to communicate with someone who didn't learn how to express themselves or deal with stress. Sometimes you just have to take a different path to connect.

Direct communication can save you a lot of time. But most people don't use it. Instead, they focus on what they can say to keep things "safe" and non-confrontational. But that tactic can sometimes lead to an unforeseen, unwanted outcome. Can honesty and transparency lead to stronger bonds even at the risk of the relationship?

Trying to accept people as they are can be challenging. The old adage about good people can do bad things certainly applies to many of us. But what about bad people who do bad things? Sometimes people are bad and won't change. It's up to us to be very aware of who those people are so we don't get stuck waiting for someone to change that never will.

When you feel judgmental and critical toward someone you love, it might be time to reflect and figure out if you've lost the emotional connection with yourself. Emotions can help us to nurture relationships or erode them. The path you choose can often depend on just how deep you let yourself go.

Feeling stuck, like really stuck, sucks. And when you feel like you have no other options but to accept your circumstances, it can feel sad. And sometimes, you can even become depressed, making you wish you could at least feel sad again!

Where is confidence when you need it? Today I share five unorthodox strategies for increasing confidence in life that you may not have ever heard of.

Sometimes we fall in love before listening to our instincts and then get into a relationship that is definitely not healthy for us. There is a deeper part of us that we're supposed to listen to, but sometimes we don't. Things don't always work as planned when your heart leads the way.

Just how far are you willing to go to feel comfortable or even be HAPPY in your life? Are you willing to do whatever it takes? What if whatever it takes means facing fears or even losing those you want to keep in your life? Happiness is only a few leaps of faith away.

You can talk to certain people all day long, and they won't take things the wrong way. Then there are those that can't seem to get past a certain perception of you and take almost everything the wrong way. This episode is about how sometimes misinterpretations can lead to disconnect.

If you find yourself witnessing someone approaching a perilous situation in everyday life, can you trust that they'll make the right decision to avert the danger? This isn't about catastrophic events like car crashes but rather common situations where you believe someone could potentially make a poor choice that might even affect you. It can be incredibly challenging to resist intervening and trust that they'll ultimately make the right decision.

Some people say, "You shouldn't feel that way," or even worse, "You don't feel that way!" In either case, you can be tricked into believing your own thoughts, feelings, and emotions are invalid. If that happens, you can also be tricked into staying in a situation that is very harmful to you.

Some relationships are easier than others. The person you care about in your life may be sweet and kind 50% of the time, but what about the rest of the time? Will that be enough for you to stay and endure the bad to get the good? Just how much is too much?

Why does getting to a more comfortable place in life seem to be so difficult sometimes? Some choices seem impossible to make. When that happens, what is the best strategy to make such impossible choices? Great topic to talk about today.

What happens when those you care about become jaded by your dependency on them for your happiness? Are you inadvertently wearing them down and dissolving what could be a great relationship? Sometimes we drain others and we don't even realize it.

Where do you turn when everyone and everything is against you? Just how bad can your luck run? Do you feel like a constant victim to the world and believe there's nothing more you can do? Sometimes life throws us curve ball after curve ball. When it does, you might need a completely different way of looking at things.

Do you spend a lot of time looking at other people and what they've accomplished and start regretting some of the decisions you made throughout the years? How about just feeling like other people are luckier than you? There is more going on that you may realize and it's important you consider all the facts before you give in to defeat.

You give and give and maybe you get back, maybe you don't, but you feel fulfilled by giving so much that you keep on doing it until, perhaps, there's nothing left of you to give. Sometimes we can get so caught up in who we think we're supposed to be that we forget who we really are.

How you cope with challenging situations determines how you feel in your day, your week, and maybe even for the rest of your life if you don't improve or even change your coping mechanisms. Coping is a skill, but it can be a detriment if you are relying on old ones that don't work anymore.

Some people refuse to change. Something gets in the way. Maybe it's their pride. Maybe it's fear. Or maybe they really don't care how you feel and if you have a problem with them, it's your problem, not theirs. I talk about that and other challenges today.

What does it take to feel love and connection? What does it take to show love and connection? Is vulnerability the path? What exactly does it mean? Can you have a strong, loving relationship without the need to be so exposed emotionally? I do my best to answer these questions in this episode.

How do you feel about aging? Are you trying to avoid it at all costs? Are you doing everything you can to prevent it from happening? You may not be able to prevent it, but it's important you understand your emotions regarding what getting older really means to you.

Don't let toxic people take your energy away from you. Often, those who deserve the most attentive and vibrant version of you won't see that until you've let go of the one person who keeps you feeling bad and drained. Sometimes you have to let someone go so that you can save the best of yourself for those who matter most.

When the relationship isn't moving and is no longer enjoyable, what's the next step? Is it possible you're incompatible, even though you've been together for years? I talk about a couple of relationship issues in this episode, along with answering a question about if there are appropriate episodes for children and young adults.

Some relationships are one-sided. Friends, family, and lovers can fall into the listing "relation-ship," where half the relationship is sinking while the other half is oblivious of the side that's slowly disappearing into the depths. A one-sided relation-ship is a sinking one. And it cannot sustain itself.

A boring conversation can make you fall asleep. Some people seem not to be concerned if you care about what they're saying. They'll just talk and tell stories while you sit there, hoping that the fire alarm goes off to save you. Or, is it you I'm talking about?

One path to happiness may involve being someone you may sometimes feel uncomfortable being: Yourself. Walking your talk, putting yourself into the world and speaking your mind has its consequences... and its massive rewards.

If you can go through life without getting weighed down by negative memories, you're already ten steps ahead of many people. Some people still have repressed emotions that sneak up on them, keeping them from gaining any momentum. When that happens, every step forward can seem like two steps back. Uncovering old, buried emotions can liberate you so that you can emotionally evolve into a more peaceful, and maybe even happier, place.

The path to vulnerability doesn't make sense if you believe being vulnerable means you're weak or you'll feel exposed to a cruel world. Yes, there are people you can't be vulnerable around. But there are also those you can and maybe should be if you want to develop closer bonds. Vulnerability can be the scariest but most freeing thing to do. Don't waste your time trying to be someone you're not because you end up with a lingering drain that never goes away.

Do you get upset if someone doesn't thank you for something nice you did? Common courtesy may not be as common as we think, so if we take apparent ungratefulness personally, we could set ourselves up for disappointment time and time again. Also in this episode, I read a message from someone who can't let go of trauma and abuse from their past.

That one last fight you had with them changed the relationship forever. Some family does not forgive and move on. Some hold on to grudges and expect you to come groveling back. But if it's not your fault, should you? Do you want to reconnect but are waiting for them to apologize? If you have estranged friends or family, this episode may help you reconnect or accept that perhaps you may never be able to reconcile.

We've all experienced the blahs. Maybe you've even been depressed (or are now). Sometimes it's difficult to get out of a space like that. When you've tried everything, what's left? There's more to healing than books, podcasts, therapy, and even friends or family. There's a deeper part of you that you may not have even met yet. Maybe it's time you do.

The argument goes on and on... then you're arguing again about the same thing later. Why does it seem that some arguments never end? I explore the reasons why and other issues when it comes to relating to other people in this extended episode.

Some of life's challenges seem impossible and we feel stuck. We can believe we have no choice when we probably do, but just don't like the one we have to make. There's a lot to be said about which choices we don't make that hold us back and which ones we do make that move us forward. And our method of making a hard choice can often be dependent on how much we let fear guide the way.

What happens when you walk around in fear of being your true self? What kind of foundation of confidence do you have that can help you to show up as authentic? I take you through the risk of authenticity and how you can change your life if you're willing to accept those risks.

Sometimes there is so much to do and so many people to please that we lose ourselves doing everything for everyone but ourselves. It's time to reconnect and get back to who we are. That can seem like an impossible task sometimes but if we ignore it, we may become our own demise.

Our perception of the outside world is limited by the inner world we create. We only see what's inside our own box, sometimes not realizing there is so much more out there. I travel from perceptions to depression and even into addiction in this episode.

What do you do when you feel less about yourself than others feel about you? Somebody might think you're brilliant and clever but you might have the opposite feeling. You might even feel like a fraud. The impostor syndrome is when you believe something different about yourself than what others know to be true about you. And when you can't see in yourself what they see in you, you could emotionally harm your self-worth and self-esteem. #theimpostorsyndrome #selfworth

Some people are just so difficult or toxic that no matter what you say, you can't get through to them. It's not just a matter of getting through to them all the time. Sometimes it's just about responding in a way that throws them off their game.

Are you inadvertently allowing negativity into my mind and body? When someone puts you down or mistreats you, is it possible you are unintentionally enabling this behavior? You shouldn't be blamed for other people's bad behaviors, but you should also not be too tolerant of it either.

We can walk around with beliefs that lead us down the same road every time. When you know for sure what's true, yet you still get terrible results, maybe it's time to question what's true and look for what might be a possible new understanding that changes everything.

It's bad enough to get punished by someone else when you make a mistake, but to compound the suffering by punishing yourself can make things so much worse. Sure, we can beat ourselves up for our own actions, but when we make a habit of it, our quality of life decreases and it's hard to enjoy the present moment.

How many times do you hear I'm sorry and I promise I'll never do it again" before you realize nothing is going to change? What if they do change? Can you reunite and start fresh and be good again? Today I talk about apologies, promises, relationships, and so much more.

You've called them out. You've had your arguments. You've tried everything to get someone to take responsibility for their words or actions. But you still can't get through to them. Some people are impossible and there's no hope. Is that true with certain people? Let's explore that.

Sometimes no matter what you do for someone, they just don't have the capability to reciprocate. Love and connection can be welcome, but what if it isn't returned? The first segment addresses this challenge between a daughter and a mom. The second segment takes a little turn to share a story of a man dealing with a divorce he didn't expect.

It was the perfect marriage. She came home to her warm, comfortable home to be with her best friend - her husband - and everything was great... Until his kids moved in full time. Now she no longer has a quiet, peaceful home and she doesn't know what to do.

If you've tried everything with someone and they are still awful to you, perhaps you're trying too hard. Or maybe they don't care enough to change for you or anyone else. What happens when one or both parents are unloving and unsupportive, and also mean... and a bully... and more. There's a lot to unpack in this episode.

Going about your life shouldn't be a constant stress on your system. Sometimes we let our fears override our values. When that happens, we end up with results we don't want more often than not. I talk about that in today's episode and I also answer a question about how to respond to the emotionally abusive person who may not realize they are being emotionally abusive.

Is there a part of you that you can't necessarily feel fully? Do you think you could be happier than you are? Sometimes we stuff emotions down so far that we forget they're there. When that happens, a part of us can actually shut down or become numb. It's important to restart that part to give ourselves the opportunity to experience the full spectrum of who we are at the deepest level.

What can you do if someone is holding something over your head and you feel stuck unless you kiss their butt? Is there a solution to this kind of abusive situation? It's a "do what I say or you'll never get what you want" scenario that can crush your soul if you're not careful.

Hundreds of emails, so little time. I tackle three messages. One from a woman stuck in a codependent relationship wanting to know how to find peace. Another from someone trying to connect with people at a new job. Then I talk about steps to take to get a raise. Then finally, the third email from someone getting ambiguous signals while dating. This episode is packed!