Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Bio: Allana Pratt is an intimacy expert, relationship coach, author of 6 books, and the host of the edgy podcast "Intimate Conversations." Allana offers private, group and online coaching programs for singles and couples to help her clients develop a healthy, intimate relationship with themselves first, which naturally attracts and enhances their ideal partnerships. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.) In this episode, Allana Pratt and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: How our partner will mirror our work. How to see our partner as our master spiritual teacher. The power of taking ownership and offering an apology that lands. How to become the one to awaken the one. The process of growth and integration versus bypassing our wounded parts. How we get transparency by giving transparency. Tips for couples connection. Presencing together as a couple. A dyad date night exercise for intimacy. Tune into one another and keep asking the question, be open and curious. "All hearts when they are wounded close." — Allana Pratt Mentioned: Finding 'The One' is Bullsh*t: Becoming 'The One' is Brilliant & Beautiful, by Allana Pratt Jennifer Jimenez Vibrant Healthy Living David Deangelo Connect with Allana Pratt: Website: AllanaPratt.com Podcast: Intimate Conversations Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coachallanapratt Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/AlanaPratt?sub_confirmation=1 Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Willard F. Harley, Jr., Ph.D. earned his Ph.D. degree in psychology from the University of California at Santa Barbara in 1967 and has been a Licensed Clinical Psychologist in Minnesota since 1975. Dr. Harley is best known as the author of the internationally best selling book, His Needs, Her Needs: Building An Affair-proof Marriage. Dr. Harley's ground-breaking mental-health approach to marriage therapy has saved countless marriages over the decades, and continues to do so today. He has written 23 other books and continues to write, speak, and lead seminars throughout the US and Canada. Dr. and Mrs. Harley also host a daily one-hour call-in show, Marriage Builders® Radio. It can be heard on radio stations and on the Internet. They have been married for 54 years and live in White Bear Lake, Minnesota. They have two adult children, who are now working with them as marriage coaches, and four grandchildren. Mentioned: His Needs, Her Needs, by Willard Harley In this episode, Dr. Bill Harley and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: The four emotional needs that must be addressed in order to fall in love, stay in love, or get love back again. Breaking the "love busters" to create an environment where a date would actually be a mutually enjoyable experience. How finding things you enjoy doing together, and encouraging each other's individual passions can build connection. Using the "Love Bank Inventory" to measure what areas of love building need more attention. "No matter where you are in your marriage, dating can create a great marriage for you. It can solve all of your communication problems, it can solve all the struggles that you've been having, trying to make decisions. And I just challenge couples to recognize that 15 hours a week of undivided attention is the answer." — Dr. Bill Harley Connect with Dr. Bill Harley: Website: Marriage Builders® - Successful Marriage Advice Twitter: Marriage Builders (@marriagebuilder) Facebook: Marriage Builders - Home YouTube: MarriageBuilders Show: Marriage Builders Radio Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

With 25 years of post-graduate training and advanced level certifications, Wendy Behary is the founder and director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The Schema Therapy Institutes of NJ-NYC and DC. She has been treating clients, training professionals, and supervising psychotherapists for more than 20 years. Wendy has a specialty in treating narcissists and the people who live with and deal with them. As an author and an expert on the subject of narcissism, she is a contributing chapter author of several chapters on Schema Therapy for narcissism. She lectures both nationally and internationally to professional and general audiences on the subject of Schema Therapy, and the subject of narcissism, relationships, and dealing with difficult people. In this episode, Wendy Behary and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: How confusing and disorienting it can be to be in a relationship with a narcissist. Understanding how a narcissist got to be how they are and what it entails. The spectrum of narcissism. The goal of a narcissist and the missing piece in relationship. How one's own schema, or learned thought patterns and behaviors, can be triggered by, and play into, the tendencies of a narcissist. How to have an effect of the relationship. How to get your emotional balance, so that you can approach your partner with empathic confrontation. The work that goes into helping someone feel capable of standing on their own, to be the strongest healthiest adult they can be, and their own best advocate. "To hear your own voice, to stand up for yourself...That's a new new movement, which will guide you towards making a decision about this relationship one way or the other, but making it from a healthy position, not from a frightened reaction." — Wendy Behary Mentioned: Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed, by Wendy Behary Loving Leaving Living With...The Narcissist In Your Life Connect with Guest: Website: disarmingthenarcissist.com LinkedIn: Wendy Behary - Speaker-Lecturer - PESI Facebook: Wendy T. Behary Email: [email protected] Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Dr. Debi Silber is the founder of the Post Betrayal Transformation Institute and is a holistic psychologist, health, mindset, and personal development expert, the author of The Unshakable Woman: 4 Steps to Rebuilding Your Body, Mind, and Life After a Life Crisis and the forthcoming book: Trust Again. Her recent Ph.D. study on how we experience betrayal made 3 groundbreaking discoveries that change how long it takes to heal. She's an award-winning speaker, coach, and author dedicated to helping people move past their betrayals as well as any other blocks preventing them from the health, work, finances, relationships, confidence, and happiness they want most. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.) In this episode, Debi and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: Moving through the 5 stages of healing. Exploring deeper the levels of trust and deeper the levels of betrayal. Learning to recognize the physical and emotional symptoms of post betrayal syndrome. Micro betrayal: small betrayals that slowly deteriorate the trust in relationships. When a betrayer has no consequences, further deterioration of the relationship occurs and healing cannot begin. Beginning healing and starting the process of rebuilding relationships. Face it, feel it, heal it: working through betrayal and become the strongest version of yourself. "Betrayal is the breaking of a spoken or unspoken rule." — Debi Silber Mentioned: Untamed by Glennon Doyle Trust Again, by Debi Silber The Unshakable Woman: 4 Steps to Rebuilding Your Body, Mind, and Life After a Life Crisis, by Debi Silber Connect with Debi Silber: Website: ThePBTInstitute.com Membership Community Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Dealing with difficult emotions can feel uncertain, scary and extremely uncomfortable, especially when we have not had positive experiences with experiencing and expressing our emotion in the past. In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: The next three steps (out of five) in how to deal with difficult emotions. How we can recognize and identify our primary emotions. How acknowledging and naming our difficult emotions lessens the intensity of them and helps us begin the process of organizing and dealing with the emotion. How the questions we ask ourselves can contribute to more suffering and pain. What we can learn from our feelings and emotions. How the insights, learnings and lessons can help us move forward in a more powerful way. How self-compassion and understanding can help in the process of dealing with difficult emotions. Mentioned: Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication - Free Guide Untamed, by Glennon Doyle ERP 223: HOW TO DEAL WITH DIFFICULT EMOTIONS – PART ONE ERP 142: How to Increase Relationship Satisfaction with Mindfulness ERP 143: How to Increase Relationship Satisfaction with Mindfulness – Part Two ERP 144: HOW TO INCREASE RELATIONSHIP SATISFACTION WITH MINDFULNESS – PART THREE ERP 140: How Pain and Suffering Increase & What to Do about It ERP 141: How To Decrease Relationship Pain and Suffering ERP 156: What Happens When You Feel Like A Victim In Relationship ERP 157: HOW TO SHIFT OUT OF THE VICTIM POSITION ERP 095: How Your Beliefs Can Destroy Your Relationship ERP 096: HOW YOUR BELIEFS CAN DESTROY YOUR RELATIONSHIP – PART TWO ERP 135: HOW TO HANDLE GRIEF AND LOSS IN RELATIONSHIP – PART ONE ERP 136: HOW TO HANDLE GRIEF AND LOSS IN RELATIONSHIP – PART TWO Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships, by Dr. Susan Johnson Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Dealing with difficult emotions can feel uncertain, scary and extremely uncomfortable, especially when we have not had positive experiences with experiencing and expressing our emotion in the past. In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: The tendency to want to suppress, deny, avoid and reject our painful emotions. How avoiding painful and difficult emotions leads to more suffering and problems in the long-term. Learning to turn towards painful emotion can be terrifying, especially when we don't know how. The first two steps (out of five) in how to deal with difficult emotions. How feeling our emotion leads to our growth and development. Mentioned: Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication - Free Guide Untamed, by Glennon Doyle ERP 199: How To Use Emotional Intelligence For Connection ERP 200: How To Use Emotional Intelligence For Connection - Part Two ERP 222: How To Deal With Triggers In Relationship ERP 160: How To Deal With Anxiety In Relationship ERP 126: What To Do When You Feel Insecure In Relationship ERP 127: What To Do When You Feel Insecure In Relationship - Part Two ERP 018: How To Deal With Feelings Of Anger In Relationship ERP 135: HOW TO HANDLE GRIEF AND LOSS IN RELATIONSHIP – PART ONE ERP 136: HOW TO HANDLE GRIEF AND LOSS IN RELATIONSHIP – PART TWO ERP 009: MY PERSONAL STORY – WHAT LED ME INTO THE FIELD OF COUPLES WORK AND RELATIONSHIP COACHING Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

David Richo Ph.D. is a Psychotherapist, Writer, and Workshop Leader. He teaches at a variety of places including Esalen and Spirit Rock Buddhist Center. He shares his time between Santa Barabara and San Francisco in California. Dave combines psychological and spiritual perspectives in his work. In this episode, David Richo and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: The 3 common triggers: fear, anger, and sadness. The valuable lessons you can learn from your triggers. What happens when we live with triggers for a long period of time. Recognizing that you can be triggered by an environment, people, and/or events. Tools for working through triggers. "Relationships work best when we give equal attention to our own needs and to the needs of our partners and children." — David Richo Mentioned: Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication ERP 195: Essential Elements of Love (Podcast) ERP 196: Essential Elements of Love - Part Two (Podcast) Connect with David Richo: Website: DaveRicho.com Books: Triggers When the Past is Present How to Be an Adult in Love Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Brianna Wiest has traveled internationally as a journalist, written for Fortune 500 companies, and has spoken in cities around the continental United States. She is the author of five books, her latest, The Mountain Is You: Transforming Self-Sabotage Into Self-Mastery is being published in 2020. Her dream is to use the power of words to help people awaken to their fullest potential, build emotional intelligence and fulfill their life purpose. In this episode, Brianna Wiest and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: The difference between self-sabotage and victim mentality and how to recognize what you can and cannot control. Recognizing patterns in your relationships, so you can identify where healing needs to take place. "There (is) a shift that people make from being a victim of their story to the person who's writing the story." — Brianna Wiest Letting go of outside voices and expectations, so you can start connecting to what you really want to feel and experience. How self-sabotage is actually about loving yourself, and how that realization can lead to healing. How to gauge your level of self-sabotage, which can help indicate areas of resistance, as well as areas of flow. "Self-sabotage is not a way we hurt ourselves; it's a way we try to protect ourselves." — Brianna Wiest Mentioned: The Mountain Is You: Brianna Wiest Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication Connect with Brianna Wiest: Website: briannawiest.com Instagram: instagram.com/briannawiest Podcast: Get Out Of Your Own Way Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

In this episode, I am answering a listeners's question in how to reconnect emotionally with his wife. In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: The four stages of separation distress. The benefits and value of going slow to maintain emotional balance and regulation. How to reveal and soften to help create safety. The importance of being emotionally present and attuned to your significant other. Where men often get stuck in connecting emotionally, especially when there is conflict. Mentioned: Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication - Free Guide Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships, by Dr. Susan Johnson ERP 220: How To Deal With Stonewalling In Relationship (podcast) Still Face Experiment (video) Hole Me Tight (course) Dr. Susan Johnson talk "Conversations at The Royal: Love Sense" (video) Love Sense (book) by Dr. Susan Johnson Hold Me Tight (book) by Dr. Susan Johnson The Gottman Institute (website) Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Today, I am referencing Dr. Vivek Murthy's book, Together, to offer some added support for the larger conversation around institutional racism, oppression and social justice. In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: The right of human belonging and humanization. The role of disconnection, dehumanization, fear and distrust that plays into our experience. How do we build trust, repair and relationship together. "The challenge of the remainder of our century is how are we as a global family going to attend to the basic fundamentals of creating the right of belonging?" John Paul Lederach in "Together" by Dr. Vivek Murthy Exploring the question..."how do we experience more connection collectively." How to engage in higher quality presence and connection when differences exist. "I have a fundamental belief that at the root of every person is a spark of the Creator. There's something that binds everyone. Even if they are behaving in ways I find reprehensible, we still share a common humanity. And that can't be erased. Even if someone is doing things that are really against me or harming me or society. I feel somewhat of a responsibility to that person." Matthew Stevenson from "Together" by Dr. Vivek Murthy Resources: Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World, by Dr. Vivek Murthy Black Lives Matter (reading list, find a local chapter, donate, etc) Support Campaign Zero, a police reform group that has been working on policy solutions "informed by data and human rights principles." Anti-racism Resources NY Times Antiracist Reading List Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Today, I am pausing from the regularly scheduled episodes to stand in solidarity for Black Out Tuesday and Black Lives Matter. On the Empowered Relationship podcast, we address principles that support healthy relationship. The importance of safety, respect and reverence for people expands beyond intimate connection. We are all a part of a human family. When harm, injury, abuse, injustice occurs, it affects us all whether we turn towards it or we turn away from it. As we talk about on this show, when someone is acting out of protest, there is pain. While the message isn't always clear. If we look deeply, what is underneath is "This is not okay. I am not okay." Today, I invite you to consider putting attention towards positive change and being a part of a solution. I encourage any time you would have allocated towards improving your intimate relationship today to invest in the quality of human connection and with Black Lives specifically. What can you do today to pivot your focus to relationship, care and consideration for the safety and well-being of Black Lives and the experience of African Americans in the United States, as well as your role (your relationship, how you participate or how you don't participate)? We all have a role. There are many ways you can do this. If you are looking for ideas, please see below for some suggestions. Another way to think about this...is what do you do when someone you love or care about is hurting? Or when you feel overwhelmed and don't know what to do? Learn. Read. Listen. Hold space. Get involved. Donate Sign petitions. Resources (not a comprehensive list): Black Lives Matter (reading list, find a local chapter, donate, etc) Support Campaign Zero, a police reform group that has been working on policy solutions "informed by data and human rights principles." Anti-racism Resources NY Times Antiracist Reading List Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Today, I am giving more attention and support to a listener's question, who writes "How do you deal with a partner who stonewalls?" In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: What stonewalling is and what it entails. Common dynamics and patterns that lead to one partner withdrawing or stonewalling. What is often underneath the stonewalling behavior and what it feels like on the receiving end. Research findings about the differences between men and women as it relates to stonewalling. Over time, the pain of stonewalling can be devastating to the emotional bond and relationship. Tips for how to get off the destructive track of the pursuer-withdrawer pattern, so that we can find our emotional balance and start a softer, more positive and constructive conversation with our partner. Mentioned: Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication - Free Guide Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships, by Dr. Susan Johnson ERP 213: How Shame And Grandiosity Relate To Self-Esteem - An Interview With Terry Real (podcast) ERP 210: How Emotionally Intelligent Men Are Key To A Lasting Relationship - An Interview With Kyle Benson (podcast) Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

In last weeks episode, ERP 215, we discussed how connection to other people really begins with our connection to ourself. In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: What loneliness is and how we experience it. The 3 dimensions of loneliness, and how we need all three to thrive. How our expectations and cultural messages influence loneliness. The consequences and health risks of loneliness. "Medicine and technology may fail us at times, but human connection grounded in love and compassion always heals." by Dr. Vivek Murthy How shame and mental health issues interact with loneliness. How loneliness is experienced differently among men and women. Ways to build connection and emotional fitness. "We all have a deep and abiding need to be seen for who we are - as fully dimensional, complex, and vulnerable human beings. We all need to know that we matter and that we are loved. These are the deep-seated needs that secure relationships satisfy, and when they are met, we tend to live healthier, more productive and more rewarding lives. When they go unmet, we suffer." by Dr. Vivek Murthy Mentioned: Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World, by Dr. Vivek Murthy ERP 215: How To Deal With Being "Alone Together" (podcast) ERP 213: How Shame And Grandiosity Relate To Self-Esteem - An Interview With Terry Real (podcast) ERP 210: How Emotionally Intelligent Men Are Key To A Lasting Relationship - An Interview With Kyle Benson (podcast) Dr. Vivek Murthy and Brené on Loneliness and Connection (podcast) ERP 083: How Vibrant Community Helps Support Healthy Relationship - With Christiane Pelmas (podcast) ERP 017: What To Do When You Are Feeling Lonely In Relationship - Part Two (podcast) ERP 016: What To Do When You Are Feeling Lonely In Relationship - Part One (podcast) ERP 110: How To Manage Two Majorly Conflicting Needs In Relationship (podcast) (podcast) Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

When I saw the #alonetogether, I questioned "Is this really what we are all feeling? If anything, it seems like the majority of us are feeling "togetheralone." In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: With the division in perspectives and approaches right now, it can be hard to know how to move forward (with both supporting the economy and people's health and safety). The challenges of separation, distance, lack of connection and contact that people are experiencing right now. Ironically, how taking time to be still and centered supports our clarity, confidence, and connections. "Don't confuse loneliness with time by yourself" by Micaela Marini Higgs" Why getting quality alone time is hard, and our aversion to taking it. How it is easy to mistake or confuse anxiety, exhaustion, and stress for the need to be alone or in solitude. The surprising benefits of choosing to invest in quality alone time. "Our connection to other people really begins with our connection to ourself" By Dr. Vivek Murthy Mentioned: Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World, by Dr. Vivek Murthy Why You Should Find Time to Be Alone With Yourself, by Micaela Marini Higgs Dr. Vivek Murthy and Brené on Loneliness and Connection (podcast) ERP 110: How To Manage Two Majorly Conflicting Needs In Relationship (podcast) (podcast) Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Dr. Tom Habib is a clinical psychologist specializing in couple's therapy. Tom has published papers on a Couple's Line of Development (Integral Leadership Review, Aug-Nov, 2016, revised 2018) in addition to other publications on other topics. He has presented at the Integral Theory Conference, at the Integral European Conference where he was recognized for the Best Practitioner Paper, Honorable Mention. Tom is currently serving as the chair for the International Consortium of Integral Scholars for IEC 2020. Tom has been recognized by Academia.edu as achieving the top 1% researcher in recognition of how often his work is viewed by researchers all over the world. In this episode, Dr. Tom Habib and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: Exploring the developmental stages of couplehood, along with the challenges and opportunities. How a couple's intimacy is dependent on each person's developmental history. Society's glorification of the exciting first stage of relationships and how that adds to the challenges of surviving the next phase of relationship (where reality sets in). Two common fantasies we have in relationship and how they pose a barrier to true intimacy. "People are blowing up their lives because they are so hungry for connection." Dr. Tom Habib Getting to the place where you recognize and value each other's strengths and weaknesses and figure out how to use those to work together. Working towards an abundance and gratitude mindset, understanding your inner world more fully, and a willingness to be transparent with your partner. Embracing moments of emotional vulnerability to develop resonance and build moments of connection and intimacy with your significant other. What we can learn from the last developmental stage of relationship. How to determine what stage you are in and how to grow your relationship. "As Ken Wilber talks about, the ability to show up fully means that you have cleaned up, you've grown up, and you've woken up. There's enough trust to not overreact to that moment, then the enlightenment really starts to build, because when they reveal something, you begin to go, 'Wow, I didn't even see that. I wanna see more.' ...because you're aware that it's always unfolding. And when you can unfold it with two people, it really gets special." — Dr. Tom Habib Mentioned: A Couples Line of Development by Dr. Tom Habib Integral European Conference: IEC ONLINE 2020 First Love Vs Spiritual Love Relationship Map to Happy Lasting Love – Free Guide ERP 197: How To Engage In More Conscious Communication - an Interview with Robert Macnaughton (podcast) ERP 159: What Happens When Your Partner is at a Different Stage of Development? An Interview Martin Ucik (podcast) ERP 093: How the "Shadow" Influences our Growth in Life and In Relationship with Dr. Keith Witt (podcast) Connect with Dr. Tom Habib: Website: drtomhabib.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrTomHabib/ Email: [email protected] Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Terry Real is a nationally recognized family therapist and author. Particularly known for his groundbreaking work on men, his work on gender and couples. He published the national bestseller: I Don't Want To Talk About It, the first book written on the topic of male depression. He has been in private practice for thirty years and he is the Founder of The Relational Life Institute, where he teaches therapist trainings and workshops for couples In this episode, Terry Real and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: . How men need to find the courage to be vulnerable in order to achieve the intimacy required to maintain a healthy relationship. The false forms of self-esteem that many of us operate under, versus the inside-out knowledge of our essential worth as human beings. How shame and grandiosity both stem from a feeling of unworthiness and the different ways they wreak havoc on relationships. How to quiet the inner critic and practice self-love. The need for a paradigm shift from a dominant style of masculinity to a cooperative, ecological, and humble masculinity. "Here's what I want to tell you. I used to be you, I spent most of my life loathing myself. I spent most of my life bouncing back and forth between inferiority and superiority. I did not like being alone in my skin. It was not fun to be there. And what I want to tell you is I'm no longer there. I am happy in my own skin, and I earned that. Nobody gave that to me. And you can earn it just as easily if you do the work" — Terry Real Mentioned: Fierce Intimacy Evolutionary Relationships Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication The Long Shadow of Couples Therapy Connect with Terry Real: Website: terryreal.com Facebook: Terry Real - Relational Life Institute - Home Books: I Don't Want to Talk About It The New Rules of Marriage How Can I Get Through To You? Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

The Mindful Couple. Craig has over 30 years of experience dedicated to helping couples rekindle their love, deepen their intimacy and strengthen communication as a couples therapist, and Debbie is a relationship educator and coach. Through Lambert Couples Therapy, they have worked with thousands of couples, helping them understand the often unconscious underpinnings of relationship conflict. They are based in San Diego. In this episode, Craig, Debbie, and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: How so much conflict comes from an inability or unwillingness to see beyond our own vantage point. The dangers of confirmation bias and how it reinforces resistance, which makes empathy and diversity more of a challenge. Tools to use for opening up dialogue and finding common ground. The power of celebrating the wins that we're having, and the things that people are doing, right. Enriching your own perspective and strengthening your relationships by becoming curious and asking questions. "I think the political differences really brings up a lot of resistance on both sides, but it's such a beautiful opportunity to see it... then we can choose to maybe go down a different path with less resistance on either what we're doing politically or just in our relationships. I think in the midst of resistance is a desire to connect and to understand." — Debbie Lambert Mentioned: Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication Connect with Craig and Debbie Lambert: Website: craiglamberttherapy.com/the-mindful-couple/ Book: The Mindful Couple Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Ian Ferguson is an intimacy coach and teacher of the Erotic Blueprint Breakthrough™ platform, designed to radically transform how we talk about and experience sex. Ian is an expert on clearing shame and ending struggles that keep people from experiencing a deep intimate connection and sexual satisfaction. Through the Erotic Blueprints, he and Jaiya Ma have provided a 'Rosetta Stone' for people to clearly articulate their desires and experience erotic fulfillment. In this episode, Ian Ferguson and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: How social norms make it difficult to talk about sex in a healthy way, and propagate shame. Getting to know your own body so you can begin to articulate who you are as an erotic being How understanding which of the five erotic personality types you fit into can transform your sex life How to listen to the sometimes competing messages from your body and get to the heart of what it is you truly want for yourself sexually. Shame is often driven by trauma. Allowing yourself to feel what you need to feel and move through the shame into healing is transformative and freeing. "No matter what is going on for you, you are normal, you are not broken. You are whole and complete as you are. The primary rule for operating in the world around your sexuality is simply that everything that you're doing is consensual and that you're creating healthy boundaries for yourself." — Ian Ferguson Mentioned: Erotic Blueprint Quiz Path To Passion Connect with Guest: Website: https://missjaiya.com/ Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/JaiyaNWSE/ Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Kyle Benson is an Intentional Intimate Relationship coach providing practical, research-based tools to build long-lasting relationships. Kyle is best known for his compassion and non-judgmental style and his capacity to see the root problem. In this episode, Kyle Benson and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: The importance of tuning in to the information our bodies give us to improve our health and our lives. How men who are emotionally engaged generally have more stable relationships because they are more sensitive to what was going on in their partner's world. How emotionally intelligent partners often turn towards difficult emotions in their partners and in themselves, rather than avoiding them. Helping men overcome a lifetime of being told to suppress so-called "unmasculine" emotions. The importance of creating a safe space for anyone, but especially men, to express their feelings. "It's such a joy to see that transformation and that kind of new shift...they're making a choice to step into something that's unfamiliar. That's scary...but when they start to touch into that in their relationship, and you create that safer space, I mean, it's really beautiful when they can connect with their partners." — Kyle Benson Intimacy 5 Challenge Emotionally Intelligent Relationship Mankind Project Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication – Free Guide Connect with Guest: Website: kylebenson.net Twitter: @_KyleBenson Facebook: facebook.com/kylebenson.net Email: Contact Kyle Benson Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Donna is one of the Co-founders and facilitators of The Bridge Retreat and has been working with individuals, couples and groups for almost 30 years. Donna is passionate about the subject of grief and the grieving process which she believes offers the missing link for many in their search for wholeness. This interest stemmed from her own very personal experience of 'depression' which she suffered from for many years and now knows to have in fact been unprocessed grief. In this episode, Donna Lancaster and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: Discomfort, anxiety, and depression may actually be unprocessed pain and grief. Being grateful for our incredible capacity for survival and resilience, but not letting our past difficulties define you. How we tend to see people through our own lenses of past pain. Heartbreak is inevitable and an essential part of being wonderfully human. The power of recognizing pain as a community, and healing in a community. "The details of our stories may differ. But the essence of them is the same...we all go through loss, our hearts break, again and again, it's part of the human condition. But what we're not shown, generally speaking, is how to allow and to embrace all those emotions and let them flow through us (as) they're meant to do, so that we can then really, really return to our wholeness. Not even return, just remember, because we always were home. And that is the power of community." — Donna Lancaster Mentioned: The Bridge Retreat Video The Bridge Retreat website How to Handle Grief & Loss In Relationship podcast) How to Handle Grief & Loss In Relationship - Part Two (podcast) Grief Refuge (grief companioning) Free strategy session with Dr. Jessica Higgins (coaching) Connect with Donna: Website: https://www.thebridgeretreat.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thebridgeretreat/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thebridgehealing/ Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

No doubt, we are all feeling the stress of the COVID-19 crisis. I reach out to you today to be in community with you, as we are all being impacted. With the threats looming, it is easy to feel scared, uncertain, and a sense of loss. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: How the way with deal with a challenge can be more important than the challenge itself. How to find a balance between panicking in fear and ignoring or dismissing the issue. Learning to manage our reactions and activated states. Building awareness around our experience, so that we can be more present to others and ourselves. Focusing on an Intention for clarity and direction. How to build connection with others even when we are limited. How to practice discernment and mindful action. Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication - Free Guide Mentioned: Awareness, Intention And Mindful Action - During Stressful Times (article) Fear Melters, by Gay & Katie Hendricks Wheel of Awareness, by Dr. Dan Siegel Aware, by Daniel Siegel Coming to Terms With Coincidence, By Ralph Lewis M.D Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Ericka Young is a recognized expert in financial coaching and helps families significantly improve their finances and their future. As founder and president of Tailor-Made Budgets, she teaches debt freedom through her e-newsletters, personal coaching, group programs, and speaking engagements. In this episode, Ericka Young and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: How most people see debt as "normal," but it breeds shame and embarrassment. Once you reach your breaking point, getting out of debt requires diligence and persistence. Rather than being restrictive, a budget can be freeing and give you control of your finances. If you are afraid to look at your debt, then you won't know what it's going to take to get free. Working together as a couple requires stepping back, looking at the big picture, and working toward a common goal. "They're so afraid that looking at the number is going to mean that the house is gonna fall down around them. And my take on this is, first of all, you're not alone. This is why I'm here. I've been there. And so I understand that this is difficult. You can do hard things though. And if you don't face it, you can't change it." — Ericka Young Mentioned: Free Mini-Course Naked and Unashamed Connect with Ericka: Website: https://www.tailormadebudgets.com/ Facebook: TailorMadeBudgets Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tailormadebudgets/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/erickayoung/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/budgetsbyericka Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Typically, we don't think about porn being related to lovemaking. However, many people are experiencing relationship challenges related to the use of porn. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: How the use of porn has changed over time. Our paradigm about and consciousness around porn. What happens when we don't examine how and why we use porn. How porn supports one aspect of sexuality, which may be very limiting when it comes to interacting with an actual partner. How porn addiction and miseducation can interfere with love making. How we may be turning away from our partners and using porn as a coping strategy. How lovemaking can be an all encompassing, full-spectrum, and integrated experience. "Porn is strictly genital sex. It completely divorces sex from emotional attachment, the springboard for optimal sex, which requires mutual engagement, attunement, and responsiveness. Porn reduces sex to sensation - intercourse and orgasm - and eliminates any connection to or respect for the user's partner." by Dr. Susan Johnson Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication - Free Guide Relationship Map - Free Cheat Sheet Mentioned: ERP 202: HOW TO NURTURE YOUR SEXUAL INTIMACY AND CONNECTION IN RELATIONSHIP ERP 145: PORNOGRAPHY. WHAT ARE WE REALLY TALKING ABOUT? WITH DR. MARTY KLEIN Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships, by Dr. Susan Johnson Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

About Simone Milasas: Simone Milasas is a lady who knows how to be a woman, who sees the joy of possibility and future and knows that there is the prospect of possibility in every choice you choose. Simone is the author of Joy Of Business translated into 13 languages and best-selling book Getting Out Of Debt Joyfully translated into 5 languages. She is currently working on her 3rd book with Brendon Watt called; Relationship. Are you sure you want one? Simone currently travels the world facilitating seminars with Access Consciousness. She also has numerous online courses and is always asking for more possibilities to show up. You can find Simone every week on her podcast – The Art & Industry of Business & Living available on her website and iTunes. In this episode, Simone Milasas and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: How money should contribute to your relationships, rather than define them Being willing to look at what's in front of you and knowing yourself and your partner creates trust. Money is just money and shouldn't create as much havoc as it does Creating a non-judgmental space is essential for open communication about finances Writing down everything that it costs to run your life together, and deciding how you want to live is how to make informed choices and take control of your finances Make it a joyous occasion to look at your expenses because your life changes! If you don't ask for it, how's it going to show up? Subtext doesn't work, it only creates conflict. Your partner can't read your mind! Recognizing the value of non-monetary contributions to the relationship You've got to look at what's going to work for you "What I've noticed over the years is if I choose to be clear on something, then I can create something and I can change something. It's when you choose not to be aware of something that you can't change it...And if you don't know what your point of view is that creates your own financial reality and you're in a relationship, then this reality will create it for you." — Simone Milasas Mentioned: Access Consciousness. Relationship. Are You Sure You Want One?Relationships Done Different Connect with Guest: Website: https://www.simonemilasas.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AccessSimoneMilasas Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/simonemilasas/ Podcast: https://www.simonemilasas.com/podcasts/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonemilasas LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joyofbusiness/: Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Learning more about your attachment and communication styles can give you and your partner the power to transform a challenging relationship. About Amy Chan: Amy Chan is the Founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, a retreat that takes a scientific and spiritual approach to healing the heart. She is also the Editor-in-Chief of JustMyType.ca - an online magazine that focuses on the psychology behind love, lust and desire. Marie Claire calls her "A relationship expert whose work is like that of a scientific Carrie Bradshaw" and her company has been featured across national media including Good Morning America, Vogue, Glamour, Nightline and the front page of The New York Times. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, Amy Chan and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: How relationship challenges can teach us about our areas of growth and healing. How to notice if you are starting to lose yourself in a relationship and how to maintain a healthy connection, both with your partner and with yourself. The importance of identifying the root motivations for our giving and sacrifice behavior. What attachment theory is and how early life plays a large role in your attachment style in a relationship. How knowing your attachment style can help you resolve issues more quickly with your significant other, as well as help you develop a more secure attachment. Tips around what to do when you feel triggered and threatened, so that you can begin to regulate your nervous system and emotional state. Learning how to organize your feelings and approach your partner in a way that supports more effective communication. "When you're in this survival state, that your connection is threatened, you're not logical. So anything you're going to do during that state is probably not a really healthy choice for your future. And so you want to get back to calm and center. And before you do anything, before you send that text or make that call or break up, you want to be able to get back into a high vibe." — Amy Chan Mentioned: Amy's Breakup Bootcamp Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication - Free Guide Connect with Amy Chan: Website: www.renewbreakupbootcamp.com Blog: https://www.justmytype.ca/ Breakup Bootcamp on Instagram: @renewyourheart Amy Chan on Instagram: @missamychan Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

In this episode, I talk with Lisa Barros D'Sa and Glenn Leyburn about the film Ordinary Love. Bleecker Street's ORDINARY LOVE, starring Academy Award® nominees Lesley Manville ("Phantom Thread") and Liam Neeson ("Schlinder's List"). Following its critically acclaimed debut at TIFF, ORDINARY LOVE hit theaters on Valentine's Day, February 14th, and follows the story of an everyday couple with a remarkable love. The film is directed by Irish filmmaking duo Lisa Barros D'Sa & Glenn Leyburn ("Good Vibrations," "Cherrybomb") with a screenplay from the award-winning playwright Owen McCafferty. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, Lisa Barros D'Sa, Glenn Leyburn and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: A love story of a middle-aged couple. The warmth, humor, and connection that comes from a deep level of intimacy. When confronted with a major hardship, we have the opportunity to uplift each other and keep each other afloat. With a major health issue, there is an individual journey as well as a couple journey. When we attempt to protect our partner from our pain, we often feel isolated. What honesty, acceptance, strength and courage can look like within a relationship during painful times. How life's difficulties can separate us and bring us back together again. Collaboration through mutual trust and respect. Mentioned: Website: https://bleeckerstreetmedia.com/ordinary-love-film Insta: bleeckerstfilms Twitter: @bleeckerstfilms Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Sharing sexual intimacy and love making with your significant other can be such a profound and prominent way to express love and passion within your bond. And yet, there are so many things that make the process of coming together in an open, flexible, and engaged way challenging. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: How our expectations, assumptions and judgements influence our experience sexually. What differentiation has to do with sexual fire and passion. How couples get stuck in gridlock and sexual difficulties. The fears, shame, anxieties, trauma, and stress that affect our ability to be available and present sexually. The ways our attachment strategies show up in our love making. How safety in the relationship helps partners be more present, expressed and engaged in erotic play. "Worry and distraction do not make for expansive, fulfilling sex. Sealed-off sex tends to be erotic but empty, while solcae sex is soothing but unerotic. The most satisfying and orgasmic sex, what I call "synchrony sex," occurs when partners are securely attached." by Dr. Susan Johnson Mentioned: Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication - Free Guide Relationship Map - Free Cheat Sheet Mentioned: WHAT DOES THE DEVELOPMENT OF INTIMACY LOOK LIKE IN RELATIONSHIP? ERP 110: HOW TO MANAGE TWO MAJORLY CONFLICTING NEEDS IN RELATIONSHIP Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships, by Dr. Susan Johnson Hold Me Tight, by Dr. Susan Johnson Passionate Marriage by Dr. David Schnarch Intimacy & Desire, by David Schnarch Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

In this episode, I will be addressing a listener's question in a little more depth. If you do not resonate with the example shared, then please replace "tattoo" with something that your partner has done that is against your wishes. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: The benefits of working through the power struggle phase. Navigating the two main conflicting needs in relationship. Addressing differences in a safe, supportive and collaborative way. How to develop deeper levels of understanding and empathy when discussing a tender, emotional topic with your significant other. Gaining clarity about boundaries and agreements. Identifying and shifting out of critical and defensive patterns. Mentioned: Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication - Free Guide Relationship Map - Free Cheat Sheet Podcast: ERP 200: HOW TO USE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE FOR CONNECTION, PART TWO ERP 199: HOW TO USE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE FOR CONNECTION WHAT DOES THE DEVELOPMENT OF INTIMACY LOOK LIKE IN RELATIONSHIP? ERP 110: HOW TO MANAGE TWO MAJORLY CONFLICTING NEEDS IN RELATIONSHIP ERP 013: BALANCING INTIMACY AND AUTONOMY IN RELATIONSHIP ERP 045: HOW TO GAIN SELF-CONFIDENCE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP ERP 006: MAKING AND KEEPING AGREEMENTS TO STRENGTHEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP ERP 116: HOW TO REGAIN TRUST AND SELF-CONFIDENCE WHEN YOU'VE LOST IT ERP 194: HOW TO ALCHEMIZE YOUR TRIGGERS INTO INSIGHT – AN INTERVIEW WITH TOBIN ZIVON Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

In Part 2 of this series, Jessica dives deeper into the how-tos of building emotional connectivity with our partners in order to reaffirm trust and safety while negating criticism. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: Healing the intimacy disconnect between unspoken fear and defensiveness. Why humans are designed to be in bonded relationships. Dr. Susan Johnson's research on the psychological repercussions of emotional independence. Differences between men and women in emotional responses and suppression. How to learn the road map of emotionally connected conversations. The feedback loop between vulnerability and security. The ability to find balance and the vital importance of at least one positive, early attachment parental figure. Why intimacy is rooted in empathy. " Learning to love and be loved is, in effect, about learning to tune into our emotions so that we know what we need from a partner, and expressing those needs openly in a way that evokes sympathy and support from him or her." — Dr. Susan Johnson Mentioned: ERP, How To Use Your Emotional Intelligence For Connection, Part One Love Sense by Dr. Susan Johnson Hold Me Tight, by Dr. Susan Johnson Shifting Criticism Into Connected Communication Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

All too often we get stuck in disconnect patterns when painful emotions arise in relationship. Most of the time, we don't even know we are hurting because we are only aware of our reactions...anger, frustration, criticism etc. When we lead with our reactions, our partner doesn't see our pain, and does not know how to help. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: What would happen if we freeze framed the moment right before we react to our partner? What would we learn? How we often don't have a road map for how to be with our difficult emotions. The strategies we develop to cope with painful emotions in relationship. The purpose of emotion. What happens when we name painful emotions. The groundwork for empathy in relationship. "Emotion is actually nature's exquisitely efficient information-processing and signaling system..." by Dr. Susan Johnson Mentioned: Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication - Free Guide Podcast: ERP 189: HOW BEING "SELFISH" MAY BE THE BEST THING YOU DO FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP – AN INTERVIEW WITH DR. LAURA DABNEY ERP 194: HOW TO ALCHEMIZE YOUR TRIGGERS INTO INSIGHT – AN INTERVIEW WITH TOBIN ZIVON Book: Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships, by Dr. Susan Johnson Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

About Noah St John: Noah St. John, author of 15 books including the NEW book Power Habits®: The New Science for Making Success Automatic® Noah St. John is known as "The Power Habits® Mentor" and is famous for helping people get rid of their head trash and make more money. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, Noah St John and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: How people end up starving themselves of success. Recognizing the learning process of being successful. The interaction (and combined effect) of the inner game and the outer game. Identifying unconscious patterns. Assessing systems and strategies. What are power habits for happy couples Getting our brain to be in service of possibilities and positive outcomes. How to ask empowering questions. The elements of freedom lifestyle - time, energy, relationship, money. Mentioned: ERP 140: HOW PAIN AND SUFFERING INCREASE & WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT ERP 141: HOW TO DECREASE RELATIONSHIP PAIN AND SUFFERING Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication - Free Guide Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/noahstjohn Website: www.NoahStJohn.com Instagram: @noahstjohn Book: www.PowerHabitsBook.com Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Today, we are continuing the conversation about how to cultivate a more loving presence through the Five A's offered by David Richo. The Five A's are Attention, Acceptance, Appreciation, Affection, and Allowing. If you missed episode ERP 195: 5 Essential Elements Of Love - Part- One, I encourage you to listen to it before listening to this episode, as it gives context for this conversation as well as discusses the first 2 A's. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: The challenges of not receiving appreciation and how this can affect us both personally and relationally. How offering specific appreciations can increase the positive impact. Affection refers not just to physical contact, but also to the feeling of being close through conversation, gestures, and presence. Allowing means letting someone be themselves and giving them the freedom to do things in their own way. The difference between trying to control your partner and setting limits and boundaries for yourself. The importance of giving the 5 A's to others AND giving the 5 A's to ourselves. "Being a fair witness requires a healthy ego, because distance and objectivity are unavailable to someone with poor boundaries, no tolerance of ambiguity, and no sense of a personal center." by David Richo Mentioned: Podcast: ERP 195: 5 ESSENTIAL ELEMENTS OF LOVE ERP 036: HOW TO OFFER THE GIFT OF LISTENING ERP 089: HOW TO USE LOVE LANGUAGES TO STRENGTHEN CONNECTION ERP 090: HOW TO USE LOVE LANGUAGES TO STRENGTHEN CONNECTION – PART TWO Website: David Richo's website Book: How To Be An Adult In Relationships - Five Keys to Mindful Living, by David Richo Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

In the book, "How To Be An Adult In Relationships - Five Keys to Mindful Living," David Richo offers us 5 essential practices of love. David calls these practices the "Five A's," which are attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing. "What we need for the building of a self is precisely what we need for happiness in our adult love relationships." by David Richo (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: Our human need for the 5 A's occurs throughout our lifespan in order to thrive and feel secure. Giving and receiving the 5 A's with a significant other can reduce stress, anxiety, depression, as well as can help heal wounds from previous relationship trauma. The importance of giving the 5 A's to others AND giving the 5 A's to ourselves. A description of the first 2 (of the 5) A's: Attention and Acceptance. "Love from another adult does more than just satisfy us in the present. It ripples back in time for us, repairing, restoring, and renovating an inadequate past." by David Richo Mentioned: Podcast: ERP 036: HOW TO OFFER THE GIFT OF LISTENING ERP 189: HOW BEING "SELFISH" MAY BE THE BEST THING YOU DO FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP – AN INTERVIEW WITH DR. LAURA DABNEY ERP 089: HOW TO USE LOVE LANGUAGES TO STRENGTHEN CONNECTION ERP 090: HOW TO USE LOVE LANGUAGES TO STRENGTHEN CONNECTION – PART TWO Website: David Richo's website Book: How To Be An Adult In Relationships - Five Keys to Mindful Living, by David Richo Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

About Robert MacNaughton: Robert MacNaughton is an executive leadership coach and facilitator who teaches about how to skillfully reconcile seemingly contradictory world-views in relationships, organization, and culture. Robert is an authority in the fields of Integral business, behavioral development, and experiential education. Robert focuses on supporting leaders with execution strategies, designing work culture, and navigating interpersonal conflict both personally and professionally. Robert founded The Integral Center in Boulder, Colorado in association with renowned philosopher Ken Wilber. As its CEO, Robert managed five profit centers and supervised over 100 contractors, teachers, facilitators, and community leaders in over 25 cities globally (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, Robert MacNaughton and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: The difference between relating and relationship. What integral theory is and how it relates in our lives and our relationships. The line of development that can be traced in our lives. Cultivating tools for your communication toolbox. The art and science of setting context. How partners experience conflict at different stages. Negotiating relationship between partners at different stages. "Be on the lookout for your canaries in the coal mine." — Robert MacNaughton Mentioned: Twitter: @rmacnaughton Website: IntegralCentered.com The Daily Evolver: The First Church of the Integral Forbes: Millennials, This Is What Your Quarter-Life Crisis Is Telling You Emerge Podcast: Robert MacNaughton – Learnings from the Life and Death of the Integral Center Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

About Tobin Zivon: Tobin Zivon has been a love, intimacy and sacred sexuality coach for over two and a half decades. The author of The Art of Mindful Living, Tobin helps groups, couples and individuals blossom to their highest potential. His brilliance shines most brightly when working with men, women and couples in the realms of love, intimacy and sacred sexuality. Tobin has been lovingly nicknamed the "couples whisperer" and has worked with thousands of individuals and couples to break through to a new, more fulfilling and connected love life. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, Tobin Zivon and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: How to unlock repetitive frustration patterns and power struggles in relationships. Why and how frustrating patterns start in the first place. The "divine design" present in 99% of relationships. Optimizing love and the two-step dance of embodying our true potential in the areas of love and intimacy. Being armed with the skillful means and tools to get at the root of ourselves and our relationships is the second step. The traumas and imprints within each of us and learning to live with and through them. Common frustrations of the masculine and feminine and how they play into each other. The surprising keys for dissolving power struggles (and what keeps them in place). "If you have the capacity to, first and foremost, meet that [heat] with loving awareness – a willingness to feel - we are starting to drive a wedge into it in that moment. Any moment, any millisecond, that we are feeling, as opposed to letting it run the show or stuffing it down and pretending it doesn't exist, then we are actually doing that alchemy; we are actually healing a part of our being that was imprinted from before this person who's in front of us." — Tobin Zivon Mentioned: Facebook: Tobin Zivon Website: TobinZivon.com & Relationship-Mastery-Secrets.com Instagram: @tobinzivon Book: The Art of Mindful Living Book Reference: A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose – Eckhart Tolle Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

About Amy E. Smith: Amy E. Smith is a certified confidence coach, masterful speaker, and personal empowerment expert. Founder of TheJoyJunkie.com, Amy uses her roles as coach, writer, podcaster, and speaker to move individuals to a place of radical personal empowerment and self-love. With acute focus on helping people "find their voice", she is highly sought after for her uncommon style of irreverence, wisdom, and humor. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, Amy E. Smith and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: Common blocks to our happiness and joy. Ways to identify our feelings of "not enoughness." Key approaches to experiencing self-love and inner worth. Emotions deliver valuable messages – they are not good or bad. Ways to develop and access new neuropathways to positive experiences. Changing how you see yourself takes massive repetition before it becomes the norm. It's what you do "in the field" that makes a difference. "It comes down to your beliefs about yourself, which then inform your self-talk. How you are speaking to yourself, that really does become your reality." — Amy E. Smith Mentioned: Twitter: @thejoyjunkie Facebook: The Joy Junkie After Hours Club with Amy E. Smith Website: TheJoyJunkie.com FREE eWorkbook: Stand up for Yourself without Being a Dick Instagram: @thejoyjunkie Show: The Joy Junkie Show Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

About Lindsay Bryan-Podvin: Lindsay is a financial therapist dedicated to bringing couples the knowledge they need about personal finances to deepen their relationships. I'm passionate about helping couples feel at peace with their money. It's my mission to open up a dialogue with my clients to talk about their money beyond the dollars and cents so they can feel darn good about how their money is working for them. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, Lindsay Bryan-Podvin and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: The importance of developing financial intimacy. How to negotiate differences around money. Budgeting does not equate to money talk. When to hit the therapy help button. Compassion and self-understanding are key to a healthy conversation around money. Financial anxiety can manifest into real, tangible financial problems if it's not addressed. Schedule frequent "money dates" to talk about your goals, needs and values. When each partner can lean into their natural strengths about money, both are empowered. "Money dates are some of the sexiest dates you can have!" - Lindsay Bryan-Podvin Mentioned: Website: www.mindmoneybalance.com Book: The Financial Anxiety Solution (to be released in 2020) YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/LindsayBryan-Podvin Pinterest: mindmoneybalance Instagram: mindmoneybalance Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

About Larry Bilotta: Married over 45 years in an age of divorce, Larry Bilotta is an authority on understanding people, marriage and relationships. Larry lived 27 years in a marriage made in Hell, but in the 28th year, fell in love…with his wife! As one of the few marriage experts who actually transformed his OWN marriage, today, Larry holds the key to bringing a marriage back from the brink of divorce - even AFTER the papers have been filed. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, Larry Bilotta and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: The hidden danger of becoming your parents. The conflict couples experience with old programs and the stories we tell ourselves. The destructive nature of the ego, that little voice inside your head. The importance of learning from pain rather than running away from it. Four steps of working with "against energy." The importance of becoming the "Leader of Minds." "The sloppy start up period is not long if you are clear on your mission." — Larry Bilotta Mentioned: Twitter: @LarryBilotta Facebook: Larry Bilotta Website: YouCanSaveThisMarriage.com & ItOnlyTakesOneMan.com & ItOnlyTakesOneWoman.com YouTube: Larry Bilotta Chaos to Purpose Scale Marriage Tornado How to Experience More Love in your Relationship with Byron Katie Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

About Dr. Laura Louis: As a licensed psychologist, Dr. Laura Louis is a widely sought-after speaker specializing in helping couples press the reset button after infidelity. Her five-step training program, Marriage Matters, has helped couples reawaken their connection. Affectionately deemed the "Marriage Architect", Dr. Louis gives couples the tools to build their marriages. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, Dr. Laura Louis and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: Chaos takes us out of peace and into a place of conflict and stress. The importance of gaining insight into your issue before bringing it to your partner. How using a gentle start-up can set the conversation up well. Couple's therapy can bring an objective third party to guide a dialogue and bring tools to help solve something a couple can't solve themselves. Having trusted advisors in your life that can help bring awareness to your part of the conflict that you may not initially see on your own. "Acknowledgment and change silences criticism." Timing is key when talking about an issue with your significant other. Be mindful that your partner has a deep longing underneath their complaint. Get in touch with how much your partner's happiness matters to you. Learn strategies for creating healing conversations and being on the same page together. "Try to hear the longing beyond the control and defensiveness." — Dr. Laura Louis Mentioned: Facebook: Dr Laura Louis Website: AtlantaCoupleTherapy.com & Dr.LauraLouis.com Instagram: @dr.lauralouis YouTube: Dr. Laura Louis LinkedIn: Dr. Laura Louis, Ph.D. The After I Do Academy Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

About Dr. Laura Dabney: Dr. Laura Dabney has been a psychiatrist in Virginia Beach, VA for almost twenty years and has treated patients in more than a dozen cities across Virginia. Her psychiatric expertise has been featured on radio, podcasts, websites and in print media. She received her MD from Eastern Virginia Medical School and has been Board Certified in Psychiatry. She has made a career of taking on psychiatry's toughest challenges all while ensuring the absolute privacy of powerful, high-profile patients. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, Dr. Laura Dabney and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: How difficult it can be to identify our emotions. How we make our emotions the enemy. The three top emotions that we have trouble with. How to change a destructive relationship pattern. A template for expressing our emotions. How to not accept any inappropriate behavior from your partner. How to encourage change in your partner. How to repair grief from past injury. "If you change the pattern, the pattern has changed. You don't need two people in the room to change the pattern." — Dr. Laura Dabney Mentioned: Instagram: @lauradabneycom Facebook: Laura F. Dabney, MD Website: DrLDabney.com & LauraDabney.com Phone: 757-695-3925 Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

About David Wood: After life as a consulting actuary to Fortune 100 Companies, David built the one of the world's largest coaching businesses, becoming #1 on Google for "life coaching." David Wood believes the tough conversations we avoid are our doorways to confidence, success, and even love – in both work and life. David coaches high performing entrepreneurs, executives and teams - even prison inmates - to amazing results AND connection. One conversation at a time. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, David Wood and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: What is considered a Tough Conversation. The benefits of having Tough Conversations and the dangers of sweeping them under the rug. Why David is so passionate about the practice of having Tough Conversations How people typically deal with having Tough Conversations. Examples of Tough Conversations that people tend to avoid in relationships. The Four Steps for having a Tough Conversation. "The real benefit [of having a tough conversation] is how good it feels, and how much I like myself more by speaking up and being expressed." — David Wood Mentioned: Website: PlayForReal.Life Show: Tough Conversations Podcast with David Wood YouTube: Tough Conversations with David Wood Four Step Blueprint for Tough Conversations Book Reference: Real Love: The Truth About Finding Unconditional Love & Fulfilling Relationships by Greg Baer Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

About Dr. Marcus Warner: A conference speaker and author who has spent over thirty years helping people and organizations navigate some of life's toughest challenges. As the president of Deeper Walk International he has helped develop dozens of resources that deal with recovery, leadership, and family life. About Chris M. Coursey: The president of THRIVEtoday, a non-profit focusing on training leaders and communities in the nineteen skills that make relationships work. Chris is an ordained minister, pastoral counselor, published author, curriculum designer and international speaker. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, Dr. Marcus Warner, Chris Coursey, and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: We live in a low -joy culture, and a lot of people come from low-joy families. That effects so many things in life. Joy is accessible. Your brain is wired for joy. Joy is contagious – we don't dismiss the negative aspects, but we can amplify the positive and the joy in every day. Navigating the Joy Gap with PLAN – Play together, Listening for Emotion, Appreciating Daily, Nurture a Rhythm). Ways to build play in your relationship. The practice of appreciation is the fastest way to grow your joy center, and to bond with another. "If you can affect the home, and affect what's going on the marriage, then you're going to be able to have a greater impact overall." — Dr. Marcus Warner Mentioned: Facebook: Deeper Walk International & THRIVEtoday Website: HappyHappyMarriage.org & DeeperWalkInternational.org & ThriveToday.org Book: The 4 Habits of Joy-Filled Marriages Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

About Rabbi Manis Friedman: World-renowned author, counselor, lecturer and philosopher, Rabbi Manis Friedman uses ancient wisdom and modern wit as he captivates audiences around the country and the world. Rabbi Friedman started an organization called "It's Good to Know" which reaches thousands of people every month through his online classes and events. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, Rabbi Manis Friedman and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: Functional marriages versus intimate marriages. Love doesn't bond you, it separates you, because love is a personal experience. The difference between sex and intimacy. The harm of pornography and its pervasiveness in society. The essence of marriage is giving and receiving. Addressing tension points to build intimacy and trust. Only getting married if you believe in marriage and are in it forever. What home should feel like, regardless of moods. "The thing that is ruining marriages today is love – love has become toxic, and love cannot hold a relationship together, it wasn't meant to. Being in love does not mean you're in a good relationship, it means you found some pleasure in your life." — Rabbi Manis Friedman Mentioned: Twitter: @ManisFriedman Facebook: Rabbi Manis Friedman Website: ItsGoodToKnow.org Instagram: @rabbimanisfriedman Books: The Joy of Intimacy: A Soulful Guide to Love, Sexuality, & Marriage & Doesn't Anyone Blush Anymore? Show: Ideas that Change the World… YouTube: Rabbi Manis Friedman LinkedIn: Manis Friedman Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

About Robert Kandell: Robert Kandell is an interpersonal communication expert, speaker, podcaster and the author of the bestselling book, unHIDDEN: A Book for Men and Those Confused by Them. Since 2002, Robert's mission has been to help people find themselves and use their internal power to live their best lives. He is the host of the podcast, Tuff Love, where he puts his compassionate, hard-hitting insight to work helping people move forward in their lives with clarity. In this episode, Robert Kandell and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: The journey of becoming "unhidden" and living with more purpose and authenticity. People are moved by inspiration or by desperation The markers of living a "hidden" life. How to engage and step into more of your potential. Why this is the best time to be a man How "being a man" has changed in recent decades, and how it has stayed the same A framework for creating change in your life "There's so much potential to be the best party in town, so if men will get off the couches, let go of Netflix, stop watching porn, it could be the best time to be a man." — Robert Kandell Mentioned: Twitter: @Robertkandell Facebook: Tuff Love with Robert Kandell & Robert Kandell Website: RobertKandell.com Book: unHIDDEN: A Book for Men and Those Confused by Them Show: Tuff Love YouTube: The unHidden Path with Robert Kandell LinkedIn: Robert Kandell Instagram: @robert.kandell Pinterest: Kandell Consulting Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

About Dr. Lonnie Barbach: Dr. Lonnie Barbach, a clinical-social psychologist, was co-director of clinical training at UCSF medical centers sexuality program and is currently in private practice. She has received numerous awards for her work on sexuality and has written a dozen books on relationships, sexuality and menopause. Her best-known books include: For Yourself, The Erotic Edge, The Pause and Going the Distance, co-authored with her partner, David Geisinger, Ph.D. She is also cofounder of Happy Couple a relationship game app designed to enhance a couple's communication and satisfaction. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, Dr. Lonnie Barbach and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: Dr. Barbach's work in enabling couples to create a safe and intimate relationship without a mediator. Being able to talk about your feelings, not just your thoughts. Withholding feelings and power imbalances. The unique sexual being that is each individual person. Prioritizing the bond and relationship. The evolution of sexuality and relationships and life. Creativity and unique expression in sexuality and relationships. "Safety has a lot to do with feeling sexual." — Dr. Lonnie Barbach Mentioned: Website: LonnieBarbach.com App: HappyCouple.co Books: For Yourself: The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality For Each Other: Sharing Sexual Intimacy The Pause: Positive Approaches to Perimenopause and Menopause Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

In this episode, Dr. Dain Heer and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: What a gentleman is and what it means to be a holistic you. Masculinity and how it appears in relationships. The masculine and feminine traits that we all possess and embracing them in our lives. How to look at the judgments, rules, and expectations we live by and work with them, so that you can connect with what is truly you. Getting present with the secrets within yourself – "today's secret is tomorrow's lie." The five elements to intimacy. Living your life without judgment and with gratitude, honoring, joy, and allowance. "When you first get together, you will see them not through the eyes of judgment, but through the eyes of possibility." — Dr. Dain Heer (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) About Dr. Dain Heer: Dain Heer is a popular speaker, author and inviter to greatness and consciousness. Originally raised in the ghettos of Los Angeles and trained as a chiropractor, Dr Heer is also the co-founder of a diverse range of businesses around the world. A conscious and creative thought leader with a profound understanding of the power of personal creation, Dr. Heer draws upon his background and unique perspective to facilitate positive change in the world, and empower people from every culture, country, age and social strata to create the money, relationships and life they truly desire. Mentioned: Twitter: @dr_dainheer Facebook: Dr. Dain Heer Website: ReturnoftheGentleman.com & DrDainHeer.com & AccessConsciousness.com Book: Return of the Gentleman YouTube: Dain Heer LinkedIn: Dr. Dain Heer Instagram: @dainheer Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Several listeners have posed the question "How do I get my partner to go to therapy?" Or "How do I get my partner to go to therapy with me?" Today, I am going to give you some guidelines to consider when approaching this conversation with your significant other. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE: How difficult it is to watch someone you love hurting, in pain, and struggling. Or how painful it is to want to get support with your partner and they are resistant to the process. An important consideration to remember when thinking about your partner (and what they are going through) and the whole relationship dynamic. Questions to ask yourself before starting the conversation with your partner. Ways to get clear on the frame or intention of the conversation. Eleven recommendations to consider as you navigate this vulnerable conversation. Guidelines to help you stay focused on a productive conversation. Tips around what to watch out for and common pitfalls. MENTIONED: ERP 181: HOW DO I KNOW WHEN MY RELATIONSHIP IS OVER? (Podcast) ERP 036: HOW TO OFFER THE GIFT OF LISTENING (Podcast) ERP 154: HOW TO GET RELATIONAL SUPPORT WHEN DEALING WITH ILLNESS & CHRONIC PAIN WITH DR. JACKIE BLACK (Podcast) ERP 109: HOW BEING GENTLE WITH YOUR PARTNER CAN MAKE A BIG DIFFERENCE (Podcast) Photo by Harli Marten on Unsplash (photo credit) CONNECT WITH DR. JESSICA HIGGINS: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email:[email protected] TRANSCRIPT: ERP 182: HOW TO ENCOURAGE YOUR PARTNER TO GO TO THERAPY [TRANSCRIPT] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please reach out to me. Here is my contact information. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. I would really appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? Unfortunately, there may come a point in relationship, where we are in enough distress, discontent and disconnect, that we question our relationship or marriage. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE: Four relationship dealbreakers (in general) that extremely difficult to overcome. Often, we need to say no to unhealthy patterns, to take a stand for health and connection. When saying "no," we are saying no to the behavior or dynamic, not our partner. Life can feel complicated with various stressors (i.e., financial and career stress, parenting and family issues, health and mental health issues,, etc), and it can be difficult to have clarity on the root issues. 11 areas of relationship dysfunction to consider when evaluating the health of your relationship. Ultimately, you have to make a decision. No one can tell you what is right. Do your best to get clear and aligned in your own body, heart, mind and gut. MENTIONED: ERP 165: HOW TO MANAGE SUBSTANCE ABUSE ISSUES AND RECOVERY IN RELATIONSHIP – DR. ROBERT NAVARRA (Podcast) ERP 175: HOW TO HEAL FROM AN AFFAIR – AN INTERVIEW WITH SCOTT WOOLLEY (Podcast) ERP 104: HOW CAN INFIDELITY MAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP STRONGER?(Podcast) ERP 149: 4 THINGS TO CONSIDER WHEN YOU ARE UNCERTAIN ABOUT A DECISION (Podcast) ERP 125: HOW KINDNESS CAN STRENGTHEN YOUR LOVE (Podcast) ERP 128: HOW KINDNESS CAN STRENGTHEN YOUR LOVE – PART TWO(Podcast) ERP 129: HOW KINDNESS CAN STRENGTHEN YOUR LOVE – PART THREE(Podcast) ERP 130: HOW KINDNESS CAN STRENGTHEN YOUR LOVE – PART FOUR(Podcast) ERP 131: HOW KINDNESS CAN STRENGTHEN YOUR LOVE – PART FIVE(Podcast) ERP 001: TURNING CONFUSION INTO CLARITY (WHEN YOU ARE FEELING STUCK IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP) (Podcast) Photo by Megan Menegay on Unsplash (photo credit) CONNECT WITH DR. JESSICA HIGGINS: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email:[email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please reach out to me. Here is my contact information. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. I would really appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

GUEST GABRIELLE USATYNSKI: Gabrielle Usatynski, MA, is a Licensed Professional Counselor at Power Couples Counseling in Boulder, CO. She has been in private practice since 2008 and specializes in couples therapy. She is trained in PACT (a Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy). Gabrielle has been named 2018 and 2019 Best Marriage Counselor of Louisville by the Louisville Awards Program. She teaches a masterclass on personality disorders in couples therapy to other clinicians in the Boulder area. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) IN THIS EPISODE, GABRIELLE USATYNSKY AND DR. JESSICA HIGGINS DISCUSS: What it means for a person to have a personality disorder. How a personality disorder develops. The evolution of our understanding of personality disorders over time. Mistakes we tend to make when trying to learn if our partner has a personality disorder. What to keep in mind when looking for a good partner and what to focus on when developing a quality relationship. How to have a good relationship with someone who has a personality disorder. "We don't do things differently with people who have personality disorders than we do with people who don't. We're still holding the same container for people to create relationships that are based on safety and security, that are based on distress relief, fostering each other's wellbeing, boosting each other's self-esteem – these types of principles that couples can subscribe to, because we know that's what makes relationships work." — Gabrielle Usatynsky Change occurs … "when they choose to commit to something greater than themselves, and that is the relationship." — Gabrielle Usatynsky CONNECT WITH GABRIELLE USATYNSKI, MA: Website: PowerCouplesCounseling.com Book: How to Stop Stressful Fights with Your Partner MENTIONED: Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship, by Dr. Stan Tatkin CONNECT WITH DR. JESSICA HIGGINS: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email:[email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please reach out to me. Here is my contact information. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. I would really appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

In this episode, Bento Leal and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: How Bento got involved in the field of relationship skills. Some of the biggest problems in interpersonal communication. The 4 Keys to Effective Communication. The number one skill for everyone. It's not just about receiving information, it's about getting where the other person is coming from, especially on an emotional topic. Listen all the way through, don't get defense or take it as an attack to try and hurt you. There are listening rules and speaking rules, which all start with an undercurrent of respect. When kids can see their parents talk about things in a skillful way, they will feel safe and see that their parents are able to work things out. "Nurture your relationship garden. Each relationship is its own garden." — Bento Leal (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) About Bento Leal: Bento Leal is a Relationships Skills Trainer and Bestselling Author who has taught marriage and relationship skills classes and parenting skills classes to more than 2500 couples and singles at family resource centers, community organizations, churches, substance abuse recovery programs, county jails and federal prison. In 2017, he published his first book "4 Essential Keys to Effective Communication in Love, Life, Work—Anywhere!" It continues to be an Amazon Best Seller in several categories and has sold more than 40,000 copies. Mentioned: Website: BentoLeal.com Email: [email protected] Book: 4 Essential Keys to Effective Communication in Love, Life, Work – Anywhere! Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.