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Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Dr. Jessica Higgins

529 episodesEN

Show overview

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide has been publishing since 2015, and across the 11 years since has built a catalogue of 529 episodes. That works out to roughly 410 hours of audio in total. Releases follow a weekly cadence.

Episodes typically run thirty-five to sixty minutes — most land between 41 min and 52 min — and the run-time is fairly consistent across the catalogue. It is catalogued as a EN-language Society & Culture show.

The show is actively publishing — the most recent episode landed yesterday, with 19 episodes already out so far this year. Published by Dr. Jessica Higgins.

Episodes
529
Running
2015–2026 · 11y
Median length
48 min
Cadence
Weekly

From the publisher

The Empowered Relationship Podcast helps you turn relationship challenges into opportunities and sets you up for relationship success, satisfaction, and intimacy. This podcast is designed to inspire, motivate, and guide individuals and couples into more empowered, conscious, and evolved ways of loving.

Latest Episodes

View all 529 episodes

ERP 528: Love as a Practice: How Virtues Help Couples Stay Connected and Aligned - An Interview with Susanne Alexander

May 12, 202649 min

ERP 527: How Unconscious Patterns Shape Communication and Why We Miss Each Other — An Interview with Julie Nise

May 5, 202647 min

ERP 526: Why Speaking up Deepens Love, Even When It Feels like Conflict — An Interview with Tonya Lester

Apr 28, 202654 min

ERP 525: Why 'Right and Wrong' Thinking Is Hurting Your Relationship—and What to Do Instead — An Interview with Anna Sterk

Apr 21, 202646 min

ERP 524: Rethinking Forgiveness: Letting Go Without Letting It Be Okay — An Interview with Dr. Margaret Cochran

Apr 14, 202649 min

S1 Ep 523ERP 523: The Subconscious Patterns That Keep Us Stuck in Love — And How to Break the Cycle – An Interview with Riana Malia

Are you living a life that looks great on paper, but feels like something's missing beneath the surface? You've climbed the ladder, checked all the boxes, yet relationships and real fulfillment seem just out of reach. The cycle of "almost, but not quite" can leave even the most accomplished individuals wondering why old patterns keep resurfacing and why true connection remains elusive. In this episode, listeners will explore how subconscious beliefs, habitual thought patterns, and unresolved emotional baggage shape the dynamics of love and connection. Through practical approaches like interrupting negative cycles, clarifying desires and values, and learning to rewire internal narratives, this conversation offers actionable steps to break free from unhelpful relationship patterns and begin creating the kind of intimacy and fulfillment you truly crave. Riana helps high-achieving women who've built a life they're proud of in their career, family, friendships, and growth, but still feel stuck in the same old love patterns. Through her signature method, she helps them rewire the subconscious beliefs and recode the nervous system responses that have shaped their relationships for decades, so they can finally create extraordinary love that matches the life they've built. Episode Highlights 04:01 Finding identity during life transitions. 08:31 Getting exactly what you ordered. 11:54 Rewiring neurology and internal beliefs. 13:01 Exploring therapeutic approaches. 17:24 Breaking negative thought patterns. 22:02 Accessing emotions to change behaviors. 24:39 Creating your vision board. 27:56 Shifting to positive self-talk. 31:44 Clearing out mental clutter. 35:04 Shifting mindset and frequency. 42:27 The power of forgiveness. 46:13 Steps to heal relationships. Your Checklist of Actions to Take Clarify Your Desires: Take time to specifically identify what you truly want in relationships and life, beyond vague wishes, by listing your non-negotiables and values. Perform the Away/Toward Exercise: Write out everything you don't want on one piece of paper ("away") and all that you do want on another ("toward") to bring awareness to your focus. Wear a Rubber Band: For 72 hours, wear a rubber band on your wrist. When you notice negative thoughts, snap them to create an instant pattern interrupt and remind yourself to shift focus. Redirect Your Thinking: When you catch yourself focused on the "away" list, immediately replace the thought with something from your "toward" list or its positive opposite. Cultivate Genuine Gratitude: If struggling to generate positive feelings, ground yourself in something you are authentically grateful for in the present moment. Serve Others: If feeling stuck, perform a small act of kindness to shift your emotional state and break negative patterns. Incrementally Improve Your Emotional State: Don't force a leap from low emotions to joy—focus instead on moving up one or two levels on the emotional scale at a time. Release the Old Story: Set boundaries around retelling painful past stories to others; instead, focus conversations on new goals and dreams to reinforce a forward-looking identity. Mentioned Extraordinary Love Index™ (Free Diagnostic Quiz) Brilliance Brunch (Events Page) Relationship Map To Happy, Lasting Love (free guide) Connect with Riana Malia Website: rianamalia.com Facebook: facebook.com/RianaMalia YouTube: youtube.com/@rianamalia Instagram: instagram.com/rianamalia TikTok: tiktok.com/@rianamalia121 Podcast: podcast.rianamalia.com

Apr 7, 202652 min

S1 Ep 522ERP 522: Fair Isn't 50/50: How Couples Build a Financial Partnership That Works - An Interview with Heather and Douglas Boneparth

Money isn't just about numbers; it's the silent language shaping intimacy, trust, and fairness in our closest relationships. Beneath the surface of budgets and bank accounts often lies a tangled web of beliefs, emotions, and unspoken histories that can spark misunderstanding, resentment, or even distance between partners. The challenge? Finding a way to transform financial conversations from battlegrounds into bridges of deeper connection. In this episode, listeners will discover how to unpack personal money stories, identify invisible patterns, and create a foundation for fairness that goes far beyond splitting expenses down the middle. Practical examples and candid advice converge to help couples open up vulnerable, constructive conversations, nurture curiosity about one another, and build flexible habits for lasting financial teamwork. Whether you're just beginning the dialogue or looking to deepen your connection, this episode offers tools and insights to help you turn financial friction into opportunities for growth, understanding, and shared abundance. Douglas Boneparth is the founder of Bone Fide Wealth in New York City. He sits on the CNBC and Investopedia advisory councils and has been featured in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Barron's, and more. Heather Boneparth spent more than a decade as a lawyer in the insurance industry before joining the firm as the director of business and legal affairs. They co-write a weekly couples and money newsletter called The Joint Account. Episode Highlights 04:28 Defining fairness in relationships. 09:23 The importance of curiosity in relationships. 11:38 Talking openly about money. 14:54 Opening up about money struggles. 20:05 Interview process revealed insights. 23:23 Avoiding miscommunication in relationships. 25:57 Quarterly money dates for couples. 27:42 Building consistency with money. 31:19 Collaborative goal-setting and self-growth. 34:32 Balancing personal and shared goals. 38:02 Expecting the unexpected in life. 42:33 Where to find more resources. Your Checklist of Actions to Take Schedule Quarterly Money Dates: Set aside time four times a year to discuss finances and personal goals as a couple, creating consistent opportunities for communication and connection. Begin With Wins: Start each money date by acknowledging positive progress and successes, which fosters a supportive atmosphere for more difficult conversations. Include Personal Goals: During conversations, explicitly ask and share individual goals for the next few years to ensure each partner's aspirations are recognized and supported. Use Conversation Starters: Utilize provided questions at the end of each book section to initiate deeper discussions about financial behaviors, values, and histories. Practice Curiosity: Maintain a mindset of curiosity about your partner's experiences and stories, continually learning and deepening understanding throughout your relationship. Acknowledge the Challenge: Embrace the discomfort of exploring your financial histories and patterns, understanding that growth requires facing difficult topics. Adapt Your Approach: Identify and adjust to each partner's preferred communication and learning style for financial topics—for example, using visuals instead of numbers if that helps. Allow Time for Change: Give yourselves space between meetings to try new financial behaviors and see if they work before making more decisions or adjustments. Mentioned The Joint Account (Newsletter) Money Together (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication (free guide) Connect with Heather and Douglas Boneparth Website: domoneytogether.com | bonefidewealth.com X: x.com/dougboneparth Instagram: instagram.com/averagejoelle | instagram.com/dougboneparth

Mar 31, 202644 min

S1 Ep 521ERP 521: Resentment as a Mirror and What It Reveals About You and Your Relationship - An Interview With Katie Rössler

Resentment is the silent killer of connection—creeping in beneath the surface, quietly eroding the intimacy and trust between partners. Too often, the frustration we feel in our relationships stems not just from our partner's actions, but from deeper unmet needs and patterns we haven't paused to examine. When left unaddressed, this silent disconnect can blossom into the so-called "roommate syndrome," where couples drift apart, stuck in cycles of survival mode, logistical interactions, and emotional isolation. In this episode, listeners are invited to explore how resentment actually reveals more about personal boundaries, self-care, and unmet needs than we may realize. Through practical examples and honest conversation, you'll learn how to transform defensiveness, blame, and silent frustration into curiosity, accountability, and genuine reconnection. Discover why emotional distance develops over time, how to identify its earliest signs, and actionable steps—from gratitude practices to clearer communication—that can help rekindle connection and reset relationship dynamics, even in the midst of midlife transitions and complex challenges. Katie Rössler is a relationship strategist, licensed therapist, and creator of the REBUILD method, a transformational relationship alignment program for high-achieving, international couples. She's the author of two books, host of the Relationship Reset podcast, and has spoken on stages around the world. With over 15 years of experience, Katie guides couples from silent resentment to deep reconnection and supports women in perimenopause as they evolve into the powerful, grounded leaders they're becoming. Episode Highlights 04:41 The impact of differences and cultural dynamics on relationship resentment. 07:40 How unmet needs and self-reflection fuel resentment. 13:00 Moving from victimhood to agency in relationship roles. 15:45 The importance of receiving gratitude and connection. 19:56 Overcoming barriers to receiving affection and connection. 23:01 Breaking the roommate cycle: Practical steps to reignite emotional and erotic connection. 40:02 Learning new relationship skills: Navigating change and discomfort. 42:39 Midlife transitions: How hormonal and developmental shifts affect relationships. 44:27 Moving through midlife challenges together: Ownership, education, and growth. Your Checklist of Actions to Take Get curious about resentment—ask yourself what's underneath your feelings and why they're showing up. Practice expressing gratitude and intentionally receiving it from your partner, rather than deflecting or minimizing the gesture. Separate "project mode" from "connection mode" by scheduling regular couple's check-ins focused on emotional connection, not logistics. Communicate your needs and boundaries clearly, even if it feels uncomfortable, to foster mutual respect and support. Invite your partner into your interests and joys—share what excites you and make space for curiosity about each other's experiences. Normalize messy or vulnerable moments by slowing down, breathing, and allowing space for emotion, rather than rushing to fix things. During challenging life phases (like midlife or perimenopause), educate and support each other by learning together and having open dialogue. Establish annual visioning sessions as a couple to create shared goals that prioritize your relationship alongside everyday tasks. Mentioned Relationship Reset Podcast Couple's Visioning Workbook Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication (free guide) Connect with Katie Rössler Website: katierossler.com Instagram: instagram.com/katie.rossler LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/katierossler

Mar 24, 202650 min

S1 Ep 520ERP 520: Why We Keep Repeating the Same Relationship Patterns and How to Change Them — An Interview With Dr. Molly Burrets

Have you ever wondered why you keep finding yourself in the same relationship patterns, no matter how hard you try to change? It's almost as if, despite our best intentions and awareness, we're drawn to the familiar—even if it's painful. The fear of uncertainty trumps the discomfort of what we know, leaving many stuck in cycles of repeated conflict, unmet needs, and unclear intentions. In this episode, listeners are guided through the origins of these repeating patterns, from early attachment experiences to later life trauma, and how they shape the template for adult relationships. The conversation explores the power of both individual and relational healing, offering practical strategies to update old habits, develop emotional intelligence, and communicate needs in ways that foster clarity and connection. If you're ready to step out of old cycles and into more intentional, empowered relationships, this episode breaks down the tools and insights you need to begin that journey. Dr. Molly is a licensed clinical psychologist based in Los Angeles with 16 years of experience in psychotherapy, research, and teaching at both undergraduate and graduate levels. She specializes in couples therapy and reproductive mental health, with a particular passion for supporting high-achieving women, non-traditional couples, LGBTQ+ individuals, BIPOC, and Veterans. Dr. Burrets also serves as an Adjunct Professor in the Marriage and Family Therapy Department at USC and has been featured as a relationship expert in TIME, Vogue, CBS, HuffPost, and more. Episode Highlights 05:47 Why we repeat relationship patterns and the power of the familiar. 09:18 How early childhood attachment and trauma shape our relationships. 11:49 The dual paths of healing: Individual and relational growth. 16:35 Practicing healthy responses to triggers in relationships. 18:16 Developing self-regulation skills and navigating relationship conflict. 21:34 The value of vulnerability and facing uncomfortable outcomes. 26:50 Communicating intentions and building trust when trying new behaviors. 30:14 Navigating needs, fears, and the importance of reasonableness in relationships. 33:34 Finding and expressing your voice: Moving from silence or aggression to assertiveness. 35:42 The role of resentment and envy in recognizing your needs. 39:50 Balancing individual responsibility with relational needs and self-care. 44:00 The importance of emotional intelligence and practicing self-connection. Your Checklist of Actions to Take Reflect on recurring relationship patterns and notice any familiar dynamics, rather than judging or shaming yourself for them. Acknowledge how your early-life experiences and attachments shape your current relationship behaviors—awareness is the first step toward change. If you notice unmet needs or frustration, pause and bring curiosity to your reactions instead of defaulting to blame or criticism. Practice pausing when triggered; take a deep breath, notice sensations in your body, and consider a more thoughtful response. Communicate vulnerably and clearly with your partner, directly sharing your feelings and needs rather than masking them with anger or withdrawal. Invite support—let loved ones or professionals know you're working on new habits and ask for feedback or guidance as you practice. Cultivate self-care rituals (like morning journaling or meditation) that help you regulate your emotions and connect with yourself. Remind yourself that you don't have to be "fully healed" to be in a relationship; embrace growth as a continual, relational process. Mentioned Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication (free guide) Connect with Dr. Molly Burrets Website: drmollyburrets.com Instagram: instagram.com/drmollyburrets

Mar 17, 202649 min

S1 Ep 519ERP 519: From Love to Leadership: Creating Alignment in Family Life - An Interview with April Eldemire

Love alone isn't always enough to keep everyone under one roof feeling connected and secure. Despite the dream of harmony and the promise of new beginnings, many families find themselves struggling with uncertainty, misaligned expectations, and recurring conflicts that love simply can't resolve. Is it possible to create a sense of "home" where everyone feels seen, heard, and supported—without sacrificing your relationship or your own well-being? In this episode, listeners will discover why building a thriving blended family isn't just about love—it's about creating alignment through clear roles, structure, and intentional communication. The conversation explores the real-life challenges that stepfamilies and modern families face, including competing parenting philosophies, the presence of ex-partners, and loyalty struggles with children. Listeners will learn actionable strategies such as the Pause, Align, and Present method for unified parenting, tips for connecting before correcting, and ways to foster trust and emotional safety while honoring everyone's unique needs. Get ready to transform overwhelm into clarity, and confusion into a cooperative partnership—one step at a time. April is a licensed marriage and family therapist, stepfamily expert, and founder of Couples Thrive. She specializes in helping modern couples, especially those in blended families, create emotional safety, reduce conflict, and parent as a united team. She is trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), one of the most research-backed approaches for couples, and her work has been featured in national outlets like Psychology Today and the Gottman Institute. Episode Highlights 06:09 Unique challenges blended families face as they merge different histories and systems. 09:56 Building alignment through clear structure and defined expectations. 12:24 Navigating family differences with the 60-30-10 rule. 14:19 Smoothing family life with weekly check-ins and defined roles. 19:09 Setting realistic expectations and practicing patience in blended families. 23:22 Overcoming common challenges through preparation and planning. 25:22 Unifying parenting decisions with the Pause, Align, and Present method. 28:13 Modeling teamwork and authentic connection during disagreements. 31:34 Building mutual respect through the power of pausing. 35:58 Balancing parental authority while empowering children's voices. 39:36 Building trust as a stepparent by navigating loyalty binds. 43:19 Fostering respectful communication with clear boundaries and rules. 46:40 Helping blended families thrive with expert tools and support. Your Check List of Actions to Take Start a shared journal or Notes app with your partner to track moments of alignment and areas of struggle throughout the week. Set aside time for a weekly alignment conversation where you review your journal and discuss patterns and sticky points together. Establish clear roles and expectations in your family system, considering each person's strengths and the needs of the children. Practice the "Pause, Align, and Present" method in moments of disagreement: pause the discussion, align privately, and then present a unified decision to the family. Use a 60-30-10 rule—aim for 60% compromise, navigate 30% gray areas, and allow 10% flexibility for the sake of peace. Involve children appropriately by hearing their voices and feelings, but maintain parental authority when making decisions. For stepparents, focus on connection before correction—build rapport and trust first before stepping into disciplinary roles. Regularly review your family values, using "we language" and modeling respectful communication, especially during challenging transitions or conflicts. Mentioned Stepfamilies: Love, Marriage, and Parenting in the First Decade (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) ERP 313: How To Become A Successful Blended Family — An Interview With Ron Deal ERP 256: The Mistakes People Make When Blending Families And What To Do Instead – An Interview With Tracy Poizner Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication (free guide) Connect with April Eldemire Website: couples-thrive.com Facebook: facebook.com/AprilEldemire YouTube: youtube.com/@couplesthrive Instagram: instagram.com/couplesthrive LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/april-eldemire-lmft-8a8b3059 TikTok: tiktok.com/@couples_thrive

Mar 10, 202650 min

S1 Ep 518ERP 518: When Stress Hijacks Connection: How Couples Can Use Stress to Grow Closer — An Interview with Dr. Rebecca Heiss

Ever notice how the smallest trigger in your relationship—a tone of voice, a lingering look, or a forgotten chore—can suddenly feel like a five-alarm fire? The truth is, most couples aren't fighting about the dishes or the laundry; they're struggling against the undercurrents of stress, anxiety, and unspoken needs that simmer just beneath the surface. When these emotions erupt, it's not just about the task at hand but the deep human urge to be seen, valued, and connected. Left unchecked, these survival-driven stress responses can turn moments of misunderstanding into cycles of blame, defensiveness, or painful silence. In this episode, you'll discover a refreshing reframe of stress in intimate relationships—not as a signal to run or shut down, but as an invitation to meaningful connection and growth. Learn how to recognize your triggers, transform heightened emotions into curiosity and constructive action, and tap into the power of vulnerability—even in the heat of conflict. Through practical strategies, thought-provoking questions, and powerful mindset shifts, this conversation is packed with insights to help you break free from old reaction patterns, deepen trust, and turn even your toughest moments into a pathway for a stronger partnership. Dr. Rebecca Heiss Bio: Dr. Rebecca Heiss is a Stress Physiologist and full-time keynote speaker residing in Greenville, South Carolina, who has worked with household names like VISA, P&G, SHRM, Bloomberg, and Northwestern Mutual. Dr. Heiss hails from a small town in upstate NY! She grew up playing basketball and football in the backyard with her sister and neighborhood kids. Basketball stuck with her, and she continues to enjoy playing with friends today while promoting her co-founded non-profit, Gamechanger Basketball. Episode Highlights 03:40 Discover how personal loss led to a life-changing approach to handling stress. 08:42 Learn why our brains react so strongly in relationships—and how to respond differently. 11:37 Find out how curiosity can replace fear and build a deeper connection during stress. 14:41 Get simple, real-life tools for managing conflict and assessing vulnerability. 19:01 Uncover powerful questions that can turn arguments into understanding. 20:51 Explore a three-step process for navigating stress as a team and how to use this method to resolve everyday relationship challenges. 26:25 Discover why embracing—not avoiding—stress leads to more meaning and growth. 39:40 Quick, physical techniques anyone can use to release tension. 40:58 How community, service, and the right resources can transform your stress. Your Checklist of Actions to Take Pause and Breathe: When feeling stressed or triggered, take a moment to pause with a deep inhale and exhale to help settle your nervous system. Invite the Tiger In: Instead of avoiding stress, consciously sit with the discomfort for three minutes to allow yourself to fully experience and acknowledge it. Get Curious: Ask yourself, "What is this stress here to help me do?" to start shifting out of a blame mindset and into a place of productive inquiry. Connect with Others: Reflect on "Who do I need to connect with?"—be it your partner, a friend, or even a part of yourself—to seek support and reduce isolation. Use Physical Outlet: If you're more nonverbal, move your body (e.g., fast feet, punching a pillow, yelling—in a safe space) to help release stress energy. Name Your Feelings: Verbally recognize and share your emotional state with your partner, such as "I'm feeling defensive," to foster vulnerability and mutual understanding. Set a Break Word: Agree on a lighthearted code word as a couple to pause heated discussions, allowing each person to process and return with more clarity. Direct Your Energy Constructively: After working through the initial stress, focus on what you need—whether it's an apology, to be heard, or a change in behavior—and express this clearly to your partner. Mentioned Instinct (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Springboard (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Man's Search for Meaning (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication (free guide) Connect with Dr. Rebecca Heiss Websites: rebeccaheiss.com Facebook: facebook.com/drrebeccaheiss X: https://x.com/DrRebeccaHeiss YouTube: youtube.com/hannel/UCO3XmakQmJX0z0TbSfr3agg Instagram: instagram.com/drrebeccaheiss LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/rebeccaheiss/details/experience

Mar 4, 202644 min

S1 Ep 517ERP 517: Pleasure, Pain, and Partnership: Navigating Pelvic Floor Health Together - An Interview with Dr. Sara Reardon

There's a silent struggle that many couples face—issues of pain, discomfort, or disconnection in intimate life that go unspoken and unattended. For so long, pelvic floor challenges have been seen as private burdens to bear alone, surrounded by stigma or confusion about where to turn for help. But what if we viewed these not as individual problems, but as shared matters that impact the whole relationship? Could better understanding and open conversation actually transform your intimacy and emotional connection? In this episode, you'll discover how pelvic floor health influences pleasure, pain, and intimacy—and why these challenges are best faced together, not solo. Drawing from expert insights and practical guidance, you'll learn how increased awareness and communication can bridge the gap between partners, foster support and compassion, and empower you with tools for healing. Whether you're struggling silently or simply want to deepen trust and connection, this conversation offers actionable steps and hope for anyone ready to turn hidden struggle into shared strength. Since 2007, Dr. Sara Reardon has been caring for people's pelvic floors as a board-certified pelvic floor physical therapist. She is the Founder of The V-Hive, an online pelvic floor workout platform for pregnancy, postpartum, menopause, painful sex, and pelvic floor strengthening. As The Vagina Whisperer on Instagram and TikTok, she has hundreds of thousands of followers. She is the author of FLOORED: A Woman's Guide to Pelvic Floor Health at Every Age and Stage. Episode Highlights 03:53 Understanding pelvic floor anatomy and its impact on intimacy. 07:50 Breaking stigma and introducing pelvic health conversations. 09:37 The role of partners and destigmatizing pelvic floor challenges. 14:47 Exploring pelvic floor dysfunction: Causes and effects on relationships. 18:56 Pelvic floor health and sexual pleasure.. 21:16 Exploring arousal: Physical and emotional components. 23:13 Daily habits and exercises for intimate health. 28:26 Tools, devices, and progression in pelvic floor therapy. 36:35 Debunking myths: Arousal, climax, and individual differences. Your Check List of Actions to Take Learn about your pelvic floor anatomy to understand how it affects day-to-day functions and intimacy. Openly discuss pelvic health and intimacy challenges with your partner to reduce shame and foster teamwork. Attend pelvic floor therapy sessions together when possible for shared education and support. Practice mindful urination and bowel movements—sit fully, breathe, and avoid straining or "power peeing." Incorporate pelvic-friendly exercises such as yoga poses (e.g., child's pose, pigeon, happy baby) to encourage muscle relaxation. Explore self-stimulation privately to discover which types of touch and stimulation are most pleasurable or comfortable. Consider using vaginal trainers or dilators, starting small and gradually increasing size, and involve your partner for support and collaboration. Normalize communication around sexual pleasure, pain, and individual needs, recognizing that every body and relationship is unique. Mentioned Floored (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) V-Hive (*Google Play link) (app) Online Workouts (free workout) Come as You Are (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Squatty potty (e-commerce website) Vaginal Dilators (e-commerce website) 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free guide) Connect with Dr. Sara Reardon Websites: thevagwhisperer.com Facebook: facebook.com/thevagwhisperer YouTube: youtube.com/channel/UC2MllrS6zD974pxBFbVUHdA Instagram: instagram.com/the.vagina.whisperer LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/sara-reardon-pt-dpt-wcs-4a6b1025 TikTok: tiktok.com/@thevagwhisperer

Feb 24, 202640 min

S1 Ep 516ERP 516: Conscious Love: From Reactivity to Responsibility in Intimate Relationships — An Interview with Christian de la Huerta

Why do so many relationships, despite the best intentions, end up stuck in cycles of hurt, disappointment, or disconnection? We search for "the one," hope for a soulmate to fulfill us, and cling to romantic ideals—even as we find ourselves repeating old patterns and feeling powerless when things get tough. The real challenge, it seems, isn't just finding love, but learning how to nurture it consciously and responsibly. What if the secret isn't about changing others, but transforming how we relate, both to ourselves and to our loved ones? In this episode, discover how to break free from the unconscious habits that sabotage intimacy, shift out of victim mindsets, and reclaim your personal power within relationships. Learn why conscious love is an ongoing practice—not just a feeling—and explore actionable principles for moving past reactivity into mature, collaborative connection. Through insights on emotional intelligence, responsibility, healing past wounds, and embracing vulnerability, you'll gain tools to create deeper, more authentic bonds and turn your relationship into a dynamic space for growth. Christian de la Huerta is a spiritual teacher, personal transformation coach, and award-winning author with over 30 years of experience. He has spoken at TEDx and led transformational retreats around the world. His books include Coming Out Spiritually and Awakening the Soul of Power. His latest book, Conscious Love: Transforming Our Relationship to Relationships, offers practical tools for healing and deeper connection. Episode Highlights 06:16 Identifying and overcoming subconscious obstacles to love. 09:41 Approaching relationships as paths for personal growth. 11:18 Choosing conscious relationship through self-awareness and intention. 13:54 Differentiating emotional intensity from real intimacy and love. 19:04 Balancing self-agency and interdependence in relationships. 20:24 Letting go of the victim mindset and embracing responsibility and power. 23:33 Understanding personal power versus ego power in relationship dynamics. 29:00 Tools for cultivating deep connection. 32:26 Assessing relationship health through growth and transformation. 34:36 Integrating somatic practices and breathwork for healing. 38:06 Expanding relationship consciousness and integrating transformative experiences. Your Check List of Actions to Take Take Responsibility: Own your choices and responses in relationships rather than blaming others or past experiences. Practice Self-Awareness: Regularly pause to check in with your feelings and triggers, asking yourself what's really going on beneath the surface. Move Beyond the Honeymoon Phase: Recognize that love is not just a feeling—commit to the act of loving even when the initial intensity fades. Stop Searching for "The One": Shift your mindset from finding someone to fulfill you to consciously practicing love principles in your relationships. Heal Old Wounds: Reflect on parental or past relationships to notice patterns you might be unconsciously repeating and seek ways to address them. Use Conflict as Growth: When triggered, resist the urge to react immediately; instead, get curious about the underlying source and use the moment for personal evolution. Communicate Your Needs: Express your preferences and boundaries clearly while also listening and compromising for mutual benefit. Integrate Mindfulness Practices: Develop habits like meditation or breath work to build present-moment awareness and emotional regulation in your daily life and relationships. Mentioned Conscious Love: Transforming Our Relationship to Relationships (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Committed: A Love Story (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) The power of breath: Christian de la Huerta at TEDxCoMo (YouTube link) (video) Ken Wilber (website) A Course in Miracles (*Amazon link) (book) 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free guide) Connect with Christian de la Huerta Websites: soulfulpower.com Facebook: facebook.com/christian.delahuerta.1 Instagram: instagram.com/christiandlh LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/christiandelahuerta YouTube: youtube.com/channel/UC4hOzeGdhkTcRxOHkV9tfbQ

Feb 17, 202645 min

S1 Ep 515ERP 515: How Couples Can Rethink Time to Reduce Burnout and Strengthen Connection — An Interview with Michelle Niemeyer

Are you constantly racing against the clock, feeling like life's demands are pulling you in every direction—and yet, your own needs, goals, and relationships are slipping through the cracks? Burnout, overwhelm, and the tricky balance of work, family, and personal fulfillment are challenges that leave many people wondering: Does time own me, or can I truly shape how I live within it? In this episode, the conversation delves deep into how our relationship with time can be transformed from a relentless source of stress into a foundation for personal wholeness and relational strength. You'll hear practical strategies for recognizing the real drivers behind burnout, prioritizing what lights you up, integrating wellness into busy schedules, and collaboratively setting goals within families or partnerships. Whether you're looking to manage your calendar more efficiently or searching for greater meaning and connection in your everyday moments, this episode offers insight, tools, and a paradigm shift to help you bend time to work for you—instead of against you. Michelle Niemeyer is a speaker, coach, and former attorney who teaches professionals how to bend time so they can stay sharp, productive, and profitable – without burning out. After finding her way to burnout and back in her own high-performing legal career, Michelle created The Art of Bending Time, a framework that helps people connect the dots across work, life, and purpose to magnetize success and reclaim their joy. She helps businesses retain top talent, boost development, and keep their people energized and engaged – all while making the magic Episode Highlights 05:53 Understanding and recognizing burnout. 09:43 Integrating wholeness over compartmentalization. 11:08 Discovering personal sparks and daily joys. 15:19 Prioritizing wellness for personal effectiveness. 18:17 Setting priorities and learning to delegate. 22:55 Eliminating time wasters: Internal and external distractions. 26:51 Applying SWORD analysis to family goals. 30:17 Aligning goals with genuine desire. 36:13 Shifting responsibilities according to strengths and passions. Your Check List of Actions to Take Identify Your Spirit Sparks: Take a few moments each day to notice and savor the small things that light you up, like a warm cup of coffee or a moment outdoors. Prioritize Quality Sleep: Make your bedroom a phone-free zone to reduce interruptions, improve rest, and start your day more refreshed. Hydrate and Eat Well: Focus on drinking enough water and eating a variety of whole, colorful foods to support your physical and mental health. Integrate Movement: Find simple ways to move your body regularly, whether it's a walk outside or standing to stretch throughout the day. Assess and Address Time Drains: Notice what tasks or habits waste your time (like procrastination or environmental distractions), and create systems or boundaries to minimize them. Practice Whole-Person Living: Show up authentically in all areas of your life, sharing aspects of yourself at work and at home to foster real connection. Clarify Priorities as a Family or Couple: Have honest conversations about what truly matters, so your time and energy align with your shared goals and values. Use the SWORD Analysis for Big Decisions: Evaluate Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Risks, and Desire before pursuing major goals together, ensuring everyone's buy-in and avoiding unnecessary drains. Mentioned Link for free community access to SWORD tool The Art of Bending Time (program link) 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free guide) Connect with Michelle Niemeyer Website: michelleniemeyer.com Facebook: facebook.com/groups/theartofbendingtime LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/michelle-melin-niemeyer

Feb 10, 202639 min

S1 Ep 514ERP 514: Measuring What Matters: How Awareness and Alignment Create Enduring Love - An Interview with Zoey Charif

Ever wondered why, despite our best intentions, we keep falling into the same relationship traps? Or how two people can feel worlds apart even when they desperately want things to work? The subtle dance of self-worth, mutual respect, and compatibility often determines whether love thrives or fizzles out. Too often, we end up settling for relationships that slowly chip away at our confidence, hoping for change while ignoring the mismatch in values, traits, and emotional needs. In this episode, listeners are guided through a groundbreaking and practical approach for understanding the science behind love and relationship fulfillment. The conversation explores how to identify personal values and trait preferences, assess compatibility, break destructive patterns, and recognize the significance of self-worth in sustaining a healthy partnership. With fresh, research-backed insights, the episode offers actionable steps and honest reflections to help anyone desiring deeper connection, clarity, and empowerment in their romantic life. Zoey Charif spent two decades decoding patterns of human attraction, pulling from her background in criminology, data analytics, and a drive to challenge everything we've been taught about love. Born in Afghanistan, raised in Vancouver, and now based in Orange County, California, Zoey brings a rare blend of emotional depth, analytical precision, and lived experience to her work. Her framework is coachable and designed to help people transform their relationships. Episode Highlights 04:43 Explaining the Love Formula: Scoring self and partner alignment. 08:41 When perceived value differs: Anxious and avoidant relationship patterns. 10:05 Attachment styles, emotional investment, and patterns of effort. 14:12 Personality dichotomies: Are we attracted to similar or opposite traits? 18:34 Distinguishing between values and traits in attraction. 21:14 Recognizing and interrupting destructive relationship patterns. 26:15 Impact of inconsistency: How decreasing value affects relationship satisfaction. 29:34 Core values: Dependability and reliability as key to relationship stability. 30:27 Using the Love Formula to rebuild connection and alignment in marriage. 33:47 Maintaining mutual admiration and fulfillment in long-term love. 36:58 The crucial role of self-worth and normalizing singlehood. Your Check List of Actions to Take Reflect on Your Self-Worth: Honestly assess your own values and self-worth before seeking or deepening a relationship. Identify Core Values: Clearly write down the values that matter most to you in life and relationships. Rate Yourself: Give yourself a score on how well you feel you embody your own values and standards. Evaluate Your Partner: Honestly assess your partner against your values, noting alignment and gaps. Notice Trait Preferences: Identify the traits you're consistently attracted to, even if they might not serve you in the long term. Watch for Destructive Patterns: Examine your previous relationship patterns for recurring traits or behaviors that led to dissatisfaction. Communicate Openly: Share your value and trait scores with your partner as a tool for honest, non-defensive discussions about your relationship. Prioritize Self-Awareness: Regularly check in with yourself to ensure your choices align with your values and that you're not compromising your well-being for the relationship. Mentioned Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) (*Psychology Today) (link) The Gottman Method 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free guide) Love Can, In Fact, Be Calculated (Hardcover) by Zoey Charif Connect with Zoey Charif Websites: lovecaninfactbecalculated.com Instagram: instagram.com/zoeycharif TikTok: tiktok.com/@zoeycharif?_t=8ruz0ZyCH9i&_r=1

Feb 3, 202644 min

S1 Ep 513ERP 513: Why Openness Matters More than Resolution in Couple Communication — An Interview with Kathryn Ford M.D.

Ever felt like no matter how much you prepare for an important conversation with your partner, you still end up missing each other entirely? In the heat of tough conversations, even the best intentions can get lost as tension rises and defenses go up. It's all too easy for moments of misunderstanding to snowball, leaving both people feeling disconnected and unsure how to find their way back to each other. In this episode, you'll discover a radically simple approach to transforming those tense moments into opportunities for true connection. Looking through the lens of openness, which the conversation calls the "aperture effect," you'll learn why slowing down, becoming mindful, and attuning to each other's emotional states can help you break free from unhelpful patterns. Explore practical techniques to foster emotional safety, collaboration, and presence so you can turn even challenging interactions into pathways for deeper understanding and closeness. Kathryn Ford, M.D., is a psychiatrist, couples therapist, and author. Her work is a unique integration of mindfulness, psychotherapy, and neuroscience. After receiving her M.D. degree from Brown School of Medicine, Dr. Ford completed a residency in psychiatry at Stanford University School of Medicine. Her meditation practice and studies developed her understanding of the power of mindfulness for building deeper, more resilient relationships. She has taught at Stanford Continuing Studies, Stanford Medical School, and Santa Clara University, and publishes regularly online in Psychology Today. Episode Highlights 04:02 The Aperture Effect—an exploration at the intersection of psychiatry, mindfulness, and neuroscience. 09:40 What happens when openness shuts down in conversation? 11:26 The brain's role in relationship dynamics and mindful self-awareness. 15:23 Recognizing and responding to real-time emotional signals. 17:14 How our openness fluctuates moment to moment: Practical awareness skills. 21:08 Why slowing down changes everything: Strategies for connection over resolution. 26:06 Openness on a continuum: Tracking your state in challenging conversations. 29:16 Regrouping when things get rocky: Navigating pauses and timeouts. 33:53 Moving between vulnerability and defensiveness. 38:13 Vulnerability as the pathway to connection. 42:18 The power of naming your emotional state. 43:30 Learning and practicing aperture awareness and mindfulness. Your Checklist of Actions to Take Practice mindful pausing: When you notice tension or confusion in conversations with your partner, pause for a deep breath to ground yourself and slow the interaction. Regularly check in with yourself during discussions. Ask, "Am I open or closed right now?" and observe your body for cues like warmth (open) or tension (closed). Use the "Two Sentences" exercise by limiting your speaking turns to one or two sentences and then pausing, giving both you and your partner time to process before responding. Be explicit about your emotional state, for example, saying, "I'm feeling a bit vulnerable discussing this," to invite empathy and understanding. When things get heated, intentionally slow down the dialogue. Avoid rapid-fire responses and give space for reflection. Call a timeout if needed: If either partner rates their openness as a 4 or lower (on a 1-10 scale), suggest a short break to allow both people to regroup and prevent escalation. Reassure and regroup: Offer reassurance like, "I didn't mean to sound harsh," and check if both partners feel ready to continue before moving forward. Acknowledge the need for ongoing conversations: Accept that not every topic needs a final resolution. Focus on maintaining connection, trust, and openness even when issues remain unresolved. Mentioned The Aperture Effect (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Polyvagal Theory (website) Gottman Institute (website) Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) (*Psychology Today) (link) ERP 340: The Essential Skill Of Tracking Openness in Relationship — An Interview With Dr. Kathryn Ford 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free guide) Connect with Kathryn Ford M.D. Websites: kathrynfordmd.com Facebook: facebook.com/KathrynFordMD Instagram: instagram.com/KathrynFordMD LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kathryn-ford-m-d-1a675b2b Substack: substack.com/@kathrynfordmd Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: [email protected]

Jan 27, 202653 min

S1 Ep 512ERP 512: The Courage Practice: How Facing Fear Deepens Intimacy and Connection — An Interview with Scott Simon

What if playing it safe is actually keeping you from the life and relationships you truly want? Too often, fear convinces us to stay small, avoid discomfort, and stick to familiar routines, especially when it comes to our most important connections. The result? Missed opportunities for deep intimacy, vibrant trust, and authentic connection. It's a paradox: the very quest for comfort may be the greatest risk of all. In this episode, listeners are invited to challenge the idea that comfort equals happiness. Through inspiring stories and practical tools, the conversation explores how embracing courage, even in small, everyday ways, can lead to deeper, more meaningful relationships. Discover why facing fears (rather than running from them) is essential for personal growth and intimacy, and how a simple courage practice can transform both self-perception and connection with loved ones. Whether it's starting an uncomfortable conversation or supporting each other through life's uncertainties, this episode offers actionable steps to help anyone move from fear to flourishing in their relationships. Scott Simon is a thought leader, TEDx speaker, bestselling author, and founder of the Scare Your Soul movement, helping people transform their lives through small daily acts of courage. He's worked with the UN, Nestlé, Ritz Carlton, Logitech, and the Cleveland Clinic to build braver teams and more connected cultures. When he's not leading keynotes or designing transformative retreats, you'll find Scott chasing live music, journaling in strange airports, or hunting down the world's best hole-in-the-wall restaurants. Episode Highlights 04:24 Overcoming the tendency to shrink back and building momentum through bravery and courage. 09:20 How embracing discomfort leads to growth and creativity. 16:16 How small actions outside your comfort zone can build courage and lead to transformative outcomes. 20:08 Challenging relationship norms for deeper bonds. 28:47 Unlocking authenticity through vulnerability in relationships. 32:10 Aligning courageous choices with core values in relationships. 35:30 Personal examples of standing in your truth. 39:56 Practicing self-awareness and micro acts of courage for relational growth. Your Checklist of Actions to Take Start a daily courage practice: Each day, do one small thing that scares you or takes you out of your comfort zone, just as the guest recommends. Pause and check in with yourself: Before difficult conversations, take a moment to breathe deeply and center yourself, allowing self-awareness to guide your next steps. Reflect on your core values: Use your values as a filter when deciding which courageous actions to take in your relationships. Initiate honest conversations: If you're holding back something important, practice being the one to "go first" and share vulnerably, even if it feels risky. Name your feelings in real-time: During tough moments, state what you're experiencing physically or emotionally (e.g., "My heart is racing right now"), to foster connection and authenticity. Seek support for brave actions: Engage a partner or friend to do something courageous together, which can increase commitment and make the experience richer. Replace silence with authentic sharing: Consider what keeping quiet is truly serving, and choose to communicate openly instead of bottling things up. Practice small acts of kindness: Try courage-building social acts, like initiating a friendly conversation or buying someone a coffee, to strengthen your confidence and connectedness. Mentioned Scare Your Soul (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) David Schnarch (*Wikipedia link) Conscious Loving (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free guide) Connect with Scott Simon Websites: scottsimon.us | scareyoursoul.com Instagram: instagram.com/scareyoursoul Substack: scareyoursoul.substack.com

Jan 20, 202648 min

S1 Ep 511ERP 511: From Protection to Connection: Healing Shame and Building Secure Connection — An Interview with Dr. Arielle Schwartz

Have you ever wondered why, in the moments you crave connection the most, you suddenly find yourself pulling back or feeling unworthy of love? It's a confusing cycle—wanting deep intimacy yet stumbling over old shame and protective patterns that keep you at arm's length from those who matter most. The echoes of our early relationships can linger, quietly shaping the way we trust, open up, and even interpret simple gestures of kindness. Left unspoken and unexplored, these internal beliefs can create barriers to the very closeness we long for. In this episode, listeners are invited to take a compassionate look at how shame and childhood experiences impact our sense of self and our present-day relationships. Through real-life examples and insights from trauma and nervous system work, you'll discover why you might struggle with receiving care, how protective behaviors like people-pleasing or withdrawal develop, and, most importantly, how healing and repair are possible within intimate partnerships. The conversation offers practical tools for recognizing these patterns, slowing down your reactions, and using curiosity and acceptance to gently shift toward deeper connection—with yourself and with others. Dr. Arielle Schwartz is a licensed psychologist and a leading voice in the healing of trauma. She is an internationally sought-after teacher and award winning author of eight books including The Post-Traumatic Growth Guidebook, Therapeutic Yoga for Trauma, and Applied Polyvagal Theory in Yoga. As the founder of the Center for Resilience Informed Therapy, she offers a mind-body approach to therapy for trauma and informational mental health and wellness updates through her writing, public speaking, social media presence, and blog. She believes that the journey of trauma recovery is an awakening of the spiritual heart. Episode Highlights 06:17 Uncovering attachment wounds and realizing childhood patterns in adulthood. 08:41 How shame and unworthiness show up in everyday relationship gestures. 10:59 The deep impact of relational trauma on trust and receiving love. 13:44 Cycles of childhood rejection and their lasting influence in relationships. 17:04 Understanding neuroception: Faulty safety cues and couple dynamics. 23:04 Common protective behaviors that mask shame and hinder true connection. 26:02 How longing to be authentically seen often leads to frustration and anger. 27:46 Facing shame: The role of curiosity, acceptance, and turning toward pain. 34:33 How slowing down and identifying underlying feelings in moments of reactivity allows for more vulnerable communication and understanding between partners. 37:03 Accessing and soothing shame through parts work and somatic awareness. 41:04 The power of presence: Attending to shame somatically and non-judgmentally. 42:57 Supporting partners in their activation: Invitations, patience, and repair. Your Check List of Actions to Take Start noticing moments when you feel unworthy or defensive in relationships, and pause to reflect on what's being activated inside you. Practice slowing down your reactions, even if just for a few seconds, to bring curiosity rather than judgment to your responses. When you notice shame or discomfort, try labeling it as just one part of yourself—remind yourself it doesn't define your entire being. Invite more acceptance for uncomfortable feelings by turning toward them with compassion instead of pushing them away. If you're in a reactive moment with a loved one, communicate with phrases like, "Can I run something by you?" or "The story I'm telling myself is…" to clarify your experience. Focus on building body awareness—notice where you feel tension, contraction, or the urge to hide, and gently stay present with it. When you notice a protective behavior like people-pleasing or withdrawing, ask yourself what underlying need or emotion might be driving it. In heated moments with your partner, offer supportive choices like, "How can I best support you right now?" instead of jumping into problem-solving or fixing. Mentioned The Polyvagal Theory Workbook for Trauma (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) The Complex PTSD Workbook (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) The Post-Traumatic Growth Guidebook (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) The Post-Traumatic Growth Deck (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Therapeutic Yoga for Trauma Recovery (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Brene Brown (website) Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) (*Psychology Today) (link) Polyvagal Theory (website) 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free guide) Connect with Dr. Arielle Schwartz Websites: drarielleschwartz.com | resilienceinformedtherapy.com Facebook: facebook.com/drarielleschwartz X: twitter.com/DrAschwartz YouTube: youtube.com/channel/UC5LUxnXbReV7I5cEzvb46sQ Instagram: instagram.com/arielleschwartzboulder LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/arielle-schwartz-0756b62a

Jan 13, 202649 min

S1 Ep 510ERP 510: The Last 8%: How to Have the Conversations That Matter Most in Your Relationship — An Interview with Bill Benjamin

Ever notice that it's not the everyday conversations or simple disagreements that shape the quality of a relationship—it's those high-stakes moments, the tough talks that feel risky and uncomfortable, that truly define the connection. Far too often, we skirt around what really needs to be said, trading short-term relief for long-term regret. Whether it's at work or at home, these avoided discussions can lead to resentment, disconnection, and a sense of self-abandonment. In this episode, listeners will dive deep into understanding why we tend to avoid these "last 8%" conversations, what emotional forces are at play, and how learning emotional intelligence can transform conflict into an opportunity for growth. Through practical insights and relatable stories, the discussion explores how you can recognize your own patterns under pressure, build self-awareness, and learn strategies to approach difficult dialogues with clarity, empathy, and courage. If you're ready to break out of avoidance and start showing up authentically—for yourself and your relationships—this episode offers a roadmap to addressing the hard stuff and reclaiming connection. Bill Benjamin is a Partner at the Institute for Health & Human Potential. He has degrees in Mathematics and Computer Science and 30 years of business experience. Bill explains how you can build a high-performance Last 8% Culture by leveraging the science of emotional intelligence. His clients include NASA, Marriott, Intel, the Mayo Clinic, the U.S. Marines and Surgeons. Episode Highlights 05:07 The importance and science behind emotional intelligence in relationships and business. 07:24 The origin of the "Last 8%" concept and its impact on difficult conversations. 10:03 Fight, flight, and the roles we play: Avoiders, mess-makers, and emotional triggers in relationships. 14:39 Navigating emotional intelligence at work versus at home. 18:16 The costs of avoidance. 21:06 Recognizing your role and contribution in conflict. 28:36 Understanding others' intentions in pressure situations. 29:15 Practical strategies for handling relational conflict. 35:12 Addressing shame and trauma in relationship pressure points. 36:15 Taking action: Sensitive communication and resources for emotional intelligence development. Your Check List of Actions to Take Start with Self-Awareness: Regularly check in with your body and mind for early signs of emotional activation, like tense muscles or scattered thoughts. Pause Before Reacting: If you notice emotional triggers, pause and take several deep breaths to regain mental clarity and composure. Name Your Patterns: Reflect on whether you tend to avoid difficult conversations or "make a mess" by confronting too strongly. Get Curious About Others: In moments of tension, intentionally seek to understand the other person's perspective—what's driving their reaction or behavior? Build Empathy Bridges: Imagine stepping over to the "other side of the bridge," as suggested, to genuinely validate the other person's feelings before expressing your own. Return To The Conversation: If you need a break during a heated moment, communicate that you'll revisit the topic, rather than letting it drop indefinitely. Express Your Emotional Needs: Practice communicating your own needs and boundaries directly, knowing it's essential for building mutual respect and trust. Seek Support When Needed: If shame, trauma, or persistent avoidance is hindering healthy interactions, reach out to a therapist, mentor, or supportive resource for guidance and perspective. Mentioned Performing Under Pressure: The Science of Doing Your Best When It Matters Most (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) The Secret to Building a High-Performing Team (Harvard Business Review article) 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free guide) Connect with Bill Benjamin Websites: ihhp.com Facebook: facebook.com/IHHPGlobal X: x.com/IHHP YouTube: youtube.com/channel/UC0UYI0Vuy99P8Hdj-r3hr4w Instagram: instagram.com/ihhpglobal LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/bill-benjamin-12b671

Jan 6, 202640 min

S1 Ep 509ERP 509: When Ambition Costs Connection: How Overachievers Can Find Healthy, Aligned Love — An Interview with Keren Eldad

Are you chasing every gold star, climbing every ladder, and nailing every "right" mark—only to find yourself missing out on real fulfillment and meaningful connection? The relentless pursuit of achievement can sometimes leave us feeling lonely, disconnected from ourselves, and trapped in relationships that don't truly nourish our hearts. When ambition runs amok, the cost may be far greater than just burnout or missed vacation days—it can lead to self-abandonment and relationships that feel more like a cage than a home. In this episode, you'll discover how overachievement and perfectionism can sabotage our capacity for genuine connection—and what it takes to turn things around. Through honest storytelling and practical insight, the conversation explores the hidden costs of self-abandonment and the steps toward reclaiming self-worth, authenticity, and aligned love. Whether you're feeling the grind of burnout or yearning for more realness in your relationships, you'll gain tools for slowing down, getting honest with yourself, and opening up to relationships that feel like home. Coach Keren Eldad is an Executive Coach, Speaker, podcast host and the Author of the new book: GILDED - Breaking Free from the Cage of Ambition, Perfectionism and the Relentless Pursuit of More. Episode Highlights 06:18 The roots of self-abandonment: Overachievement and relationship choices. 09:12 Societal pressure and the pursuit of external validation in partner selection. 10:27 Personal story: From self-betrayal to reconstructing identity and worth. 16:07 Building healthy love: The learning curve toward self-connection in relationships. 20:39 Embracing uncertainty: Letting go of control and playing to win in relationships. 26:56 Yellow flags in relationships: Burnout, overfunctioning, and sexless marriages. 31:29 Radical honesty and initiating difficult conversations. 35:51 Centering yourself before addressing relationship issues. 39:54 Tools, coaching, and the path to authentic relationships. Your Check List of Actions to Take Pause and self-reflect: Practice taking a mindful pause before reacting in relationships to better understand your true feelings and needs. Identify your patterns: Bring awareness to tendencies like overachieving or people-pleasing that may be impacting your connections. Prioritize self-worth: Work on recognizing and affirming your own worth, rather than relying on external validation or achievement. Start small conversations: When something feels off in your relationship, gently broach the subject with curiosity rather than jumping into confrontation. Read for growth: Incorporate reading transformational books by thought leaders to cultivate self-awareness. Seek support: Consider working with a coach or therapist to dig deeper into your personal growth and relationship patterns. Practice radical honesty: Begin being radically honest with yourself about what you want and how you feel, as self-abandonment only perpetuates dissatisfaction. Accept uncertainty: Learn to embrace the unknown in relationships, allowing space for vulnerability and authentic connection rather than controlling outcomes. Mentioned Gilded: Breaking Free from the Cage of Ambition, Perfectionism, and the Relentless Pursuit of More (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) The Way of Integrity: Finding the Path to Your True Self *Amazon link (book) Dare to Lead (*Amazon link) (book) Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough (*Amazon link) (book) The Work of Byron Katie (website) Brene Brown (website) Eckhart Tolle (website) Ram Dass (website) Louise Hay (website) ERP 494: Designing Love That Lasts: 6 Principles for Lasting Connection — An Interview with Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh ERP 174: How to Experience More Love in Your Relationship with Byron Katie 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free guide) Connect with Keren Elded Websites: KerenEldad.com Facebook: facebook.com/LiveWithEnthusiasm?_rdc=1&_rdr# YouTube: youtube.com/channel/UCgGViwGVn_yrHkq3PQ9R_-Q Instagram: instagram.com/coachkeren/?hl=en LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/keren-eldad Podcast: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/coached-with-coach-keren/id1467079024

Dec 30, 202548 min
Empowered Relationship Podcast - drjessicahiggins.com