Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

Content: The tension of being a parent educator WHILE IN THE EXPERIENCE of parenting Parenting for the long term… Keeping in mind brain development Mistakes are opportunities for learning Everyone should have a voice Relationship matters Kindness, firmness and trust Bumps up against the mainstream idea of reward/punishment model My own experience of punishment/consequences as a teen Noticing the societal pressure of “she should pay for her mistakes” while also noticing that we have a really good relationship and are exploring her choices together All we can do is increase the likelihood that our children will grow to be responsible, respectful members of society In the process of learning to make choices, our children will make bad choices I know I am not alone in this rub We want our children to feel as though we are our safe harbor Surrender is so complex… or maybe just the depth is profound GRACE: workshop for women through boldlyembodylife.com If trust is our intention, then we have to start with trusting ourselves We then can evoke trust in our relationships Then our teens can lean into trusting themselves (and getting it wrong sometimes) The design of the universe is bigger than me, bigger than my child, and we are all going to be okay – might as well trust that God has our back Trusting what I don’t know, what I can’t know, what I am still on the path to understanding Fear grips the inside of my body, my energy tightens up – shorter breath, tight belly “When fear is present, the teacher is in the room.” – Krista Petty Raimer Events/ experiences are an invitation for me to evoke what I want more of in my relationship with my daughter Neutral/ Think Tree – feeling our feet, grounding into our body, top of our body is open, flexible, available Finding neutral is not about the absence of anything, but about the availability of everything (thank you Mary Jo!) Neutral allows space for relationship with our children The most powerful tool we have for influencing the behavior is the relationship we cultivate and nurture with them. Lisa Damour – swimming pool analogy There is flow and impermanence to the cycles of connection/disconnection that show up Find your people that are going through similar experience and hold a similar parenting style to share raw and vulnerably We are practicing all the time – either our auto pilot OR something new and different Being intentional allows us to GENERATE more of what we want into our life! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sarah Rosensweet is my guest today!! Sarah is a peaceful parenting coach– and a mama to 3 big kids (16, 13 and 10). She teaches parents a non-punitive, connection based approach that uses firm limits with lots of empathy. Sarah helps parents of toddlers-to-tweens turn philosophy into practice with solutions for real-life struggles such as bedtime battles, picky eaters, sibling rivalry, tantrums and meltdowns, and power struggles. Sarah has had over 20 years experience working with families and children in early childhood education and schools. She’s an API certified parenting educator and a certified Aha! Peaceful Parenting Coach with Dr. Laura Markham. What you will hear: Toddlerhood experience allowed for Sarah to begin her journey towards parenting peacefully Turning away from the advice of “don’t let them manipulate you” Navigating fear The transition of the new sibling can catch us off guard Perspective of the older child is, not such a great thing Our olders have mixed feelings The mama bear instincts kick in and we often find ourselves pushing our older children away. Recognizing the feelings - awareness of what is happening internally for us What shows up with our older children? Regression and aggression What to do? Nurture them, love on them, connect with them, baby them as much as possible Aggression comes from fear – they are acting out their bad feelings Cure – more connection, more empathy “My child is not giving me a problem, my child is having a problem” Emotional backpacks are all of the emotions that show up throughout our experience that we put away for “later” Meltdowns and tantrums are how our children release their emotional backpacks Processing through laughter – get them laughing every day! Rough housing as a proactive energy/emotional release Pete’s a Pizza – William Steig Welcome mixed feelings, schedule one on one time “I wonder…….. “ opens the door for them to express mixed feelings Lack of understanding and empathy can lead a child to feel as though there is something wrong with them Sometimes challenges show up when baby is a newborn, and sometimes it is when the babe gets a bit older Peaceful Parents, Happy Siblings by Dr. Laura Markham ^^ supports children in helping them find solutions that work for both sibs, rather than leaving it to them to figure out how to work things out Special time – joining them in their world of imagination and play – 15 minutes/day with the older child Misbehavior as a signal and look for positive intent Look at your language – shift the language you use that doesn’t include the babe. Ex, “I am busy with the baby” to “I will help you when my hands aren’t full!” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage. Raising our children while growing ourselves... ::::: Welcome to this week’s solo show! Sorry about the clogged nose! Totally dedicated to keeping up with the podcast and showing up to all of you – thank you for listening in! What you will hear this episode: The topic this week, as we have moved into the school year here in North America. Many of us are finding ourselves in the rub of having tough conversations with our children’s teacher. One of my listeners, who is both a parent and a teacher, reached out and requested that I touch on how parents can be approaching their children’s teachers when things are tough. Classroom management is slippery Teachers are doing the best they can with the tools they have Navigating student’s needs with the academic requirements passed on to teachers Pendulum swings from social/emo learning to academics Pressure to teach kids what they “need to know” Teachers ALWAYS name the social/emotional skills as their desire for students There is an assumption that children are learning life skills in the home Teachers fall back on behavior systems “Charting” children’s behavior Assumption that students have what they need to be cooperative, contributing members of the classroom Temperament matters So how do we talk to teachers about our children’s need? You, the teacher, counselor, after school people, you are all the child’s support team When communication fails amongst adults, child suffers Coming from fear, we show up offensive, invites defense from others Teachers have a tricky job Connect before correct is a powerful tool to take advantage of in all the relationships of our life – teachers/school staff included Use curiosity How can you educate the teacher about your child in a way that enlightens them about your child and all children It is useful when a parent comes to the teacher and says “I see you and the tough job you have, and I want to educate you about my child” Pay attention to your physical response/mama bear mode, and PAUSE before emailing/calling the teacher Get in touch with your child’s teacher BEFORE there is an issue – build relationship Make amends when you need to – repair matters AND you are modeling really important behavior for others The person that benefits the most is your child! ::::: Mother’s Journey to Joyful Courage PNW FALL TOUR!! Registration remains open for my Portland and Boise events and SPACE IS LIMITED so you are going to want to sign up NOW and reserve your spot. www.joyfulcourage.com/mothersjourney ::::: Coaching with Casey Are you playing with the idea of one on one coaching? I currently have a few spots available in my schedule and would LOVE to work with you. Coaching with Casey is a three month commitment. We will explore your vision for parenting and even bigger, how you want to show up for your life. We explore mindset, and how shifts in mindset create big shifts in relationship. And finally, we deep dive into the tools and strategies of Positive Discipline for teaching, modeling and practicing life skills. Coaching is an investment. If you would like to find out more, and explore the possibility that coaching is a good fit for you, schedule a 20 minute explore call. Click here and we will schedule our call! ::::: Be a Subscriber Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!! AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!! CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage. Raising our children while growing ourselves... ::::: Maren and Angela are college friends, turned public school teachers, turned homeschooling mamas, turned podcast hosts. They are on today talking about how to follow our children’s lead when it comes to learning and growing. Their show, Homeschool Unrefined, is a place where they keep homeschool simple, real and fun. What you will hear in during the show: College friends turned podcast co-hosts Public school teachers that became homeschooling mamas Sensed the need for encouragement and empowerment amongst homeschool parents SM gives a false impression for what homeschool looks like Inspired to show the “real” homeschool experience Deciding to homeschool, desire for more connection and less schedule Freedom to travel Maren and Angela want parents to feel good about what they are already doing Easy to look at what others are doing then seeing deficit in what you are doing Your kids need you as a parent, and all of your particular skills Vastness of homeschooling Biggest challenges in the community: parents lacking confidence, letting go of perfectionism Being conscious about what your main goal is Letting your children take the lead – focus on connection, follow their interest Paradigm shift - kids are going to learn when they are ready Early entry into extra-curricular activities Simplicity Parenting John Paine Supporting kids through their changes of heart It is a skill to know when to walk away – Angela’s roller blading story The process of navigating waning interest is rich Casey and Rowan’s guitar lesson story, letting go of the dream Stay connected, no matter your schooling decisions – make it authentically yours What does Joyful Courage mean to you? From Angela - “Having the courage to trust yourself and yoru child. You know your child and they are going to learn the most e when they feel connected to you. It takes a cot of courage to let go of all the noise around you and be able to trust you.” From Maren - “Being confident in who you are – that takes work, takes work to understand and realize who I am is good. That’s the courageous parent – the joyful part is finding joy in the processes of everything. This is a process, it isn’t perfect – if you can find joy in that you will find joy in so many things.” *** Where to find Angela and Maren: Website l Facebook l Instagram ::::: Mother’s Journey to Joyful Courage PNW FALL TOUR!! Registration remains open for my Seattle, Portland AND BOISE events and SPACE IS LIMITED so you are going to want to sign up NOW and reserve your spot. www.joyfulcourage.com/mothersjourney ::::: Coaching with Casey Are you playing with the idea of one on one coaching? I currently have a few spots available in my schedule and would LOVE to work with you. Coaching with Casey is a three month commitment. We will explore your vision for parenting and even bigger, how you want to show up for your life. We explore mindset, and how shifts in mindset create big shifts in relationship. And finally, we deep dive into the tools and strategies of Positive Discipline for teaching, modeling and practicing life skills. Coaching is an investment. If you would like to find out more, and explore the possibility that coaching is a good fit for you, schedule a 20 minute explore call. Click here and we will schedule our call! ::::: Be a Subscriber Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!! AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!! CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today is a solo show – thank you for tuning in this week! Sit back and take in the thoughts and ideas that are currently showing up for me and in our community. A Free Spirit Life A new show hosted by Shannon Kinney-Duh. Find out more at http://www.afreespiritlife.com/ or search for A Free Spirit Life on iTunes or wherever you get your podcast. Todays Content Together Live event with Glennon Doyle and friends Belonging and significance as an underlying principle of PD Humans are great perceivers, not great interpreters Growing relationship while guiding them to learn from mistakes is what Positive Parenting is all about Shopping cart analogy My child is going to learn what they need through mistakes and experiences Our conditioning gets in our way when we choose to parent this way Fear shows up – controlling and rigid, what is the right thing to do? The space between authoritarian and permissive styles Brene Brown – check her out Braving the Wilderness True belonging is something inside of us, requires trust Conscious parenting requires us to trust our children, their foundation and relationship Our declaration of using PD can make others uncomfortable My vision is to have confident, capable kids who can navigate the world with kindness and assertive – interruptions to the ugly in the world You have to be who you are So easy as the parent to get up in their (our children’s) grill Children get to DESIGN themselves Taking a look at our own modeling, self acceptance, recognizing fear My children can only hear their soul’s voice is to release my fear and trust What are your thoughts?? Share in the Live and Love with Joyful Courage FB Group GIVEAWAY!! Win a copy of Love Warrior by writing a review of the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes Thank You! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Meet Alison Smith, mother to two adorable kids, proud wife, former elementary school teacher and now teacher coach, advocate and revolutionary in win/win parenting. Like many of us Alison had visions of being the best, doing the best and really being that one adult that impacted her students lives powerfully. As a self identified recovering perfectionist, Alison entered the teaching world and become a mother. It did not take long to identify that something in the work with children had to change. Fueled by her passion and her journey, Aliso identified a need for teachers to feel supported in their work. In her coaching, teachers are inspired and supported to be the most authentic, joyful and wholehearted teacher they can be. IN THIS EPISODE: Alison shares Bonnie Harris’ iceberg analogy and how it guides parents to identify the underlying root of a child’s behavior. Like a medical issue, we often treat the symptom until the symptoms persist then we are forced to find the root cause. Realizing that the child’s behavior that triggers us is the root cause of our reaction and inability to connect and show up best for the child. Only when we dig into our roots and what is underneath our icebergs can we better guide our children through their own experiences. Triggers can cause us to panic and ‘future trip’ into fear about our child’s behavior, enabling us into unhelpful methods. Using our curiosity to dig to the root - is my child hungry, tired, overstimulated, cold, hot, uncomfortable, lonely?. Once we identify our triggers we can move into the practice of showing up the way our kids need us to. We chose connection and enforcement that they matter. Often we misjudge our kids motivation and intention leading to disconnection and an increase in the child’s mischief. Once a parent gets it and truly understands the process begins within the parent first then the practice strengthens and the child, family and parent begin to thrive. There is no one perfect general response to situations with your child. Practicing prevention, in-the-moment and then repair strategies alleviate and get to the root of the issue. An open conversation on how parenting is shifting from authoritarian to permissive. Why parents today need something to change and are willing to find the courage to revolutionize how the adult/child relationship evolves. Where to find Alison: Website l Facebook l Instagram l You Tube Change the World in A Generation (video) *** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Parenting from within takes practice practice practice. What are the significant tools we need to really delve within? Inside of us exists what we need to connect to the way we want to parent. Using these tools at our disposal will allow us to open up, connect, reset and navigate the challenges that come with development. Just like we are in constant practice it’s key to continue the conversation! Our children are not the only humans in development. What you will hear The emotional journey of choosing Positive Parenting Is your inner voice helping or hindering your practice Our old stories can create blocks when we practice PD What shows up when our children touch on those old stories (triggers) How we talk to ourselves when it seems everyone around us has it together Where do we chose to sit when we are in anger, resentment and “stuckness” Why are you choosing PD and/or Conscious Parenting? What are the themes that drive us to want to parent this way? What themes to we use to keep us on a pendulum Once we choose into the practice we can create habits that navigate through these themes and stories Awareness is the first step to helping us acknowledge the triggers so we can create a connection into this parenting journey This is a collective journey Mindfulness with ground us into the practice and what we need Using mindfulness will bring you into your biggest tool- your body, senses, feelings and emotions Listening to your body is accepting the messages and signals you are sending to your conscious What do you notice in challenging situations? Where do your signals sit? Belly? Shoulders? Chest? Follow the wisdom your body is sending. Fears cloud our vision and takes us into the “what ifs” Getting curious allows us to approach our children without getting stuck in the fog How to use the neutrality of your body to shift into a better experience Shifting can open us up the possibility that we are the best parent for our kids and we can make repairs ::::: Podcast Highlight: In Her Voice, By Kelly Covers website l itunes l FB l IG ::::: Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Meredith Masony is on the podcast today!! She blogs at That’s Inappropriate and loves to share her stories about, life, marriage, motherhood, and her quest to be the best person she can be. Meredith has three kids ages 10, 7, 5. Her motto is “I’ll say it, so you don’t have to.” Life is messy, and it’s OK to talk about it. She invites all parents to join her on her search for sanity and hopefully you can have a few laughs along the way. What you’ll hear in this episode: The parenting struggle is real Meredith opens up about the first few years with little ones Feeling stuck, alone and eventually facing a difficult life event moved her to speak out We are not alone, we all feel lost at some point Sharing the hard parts of the journey is the first step in thriving though it You deserve more than to survive Parents deserve to thrive Creating a like-experiencing community can support us through even the most mundane events, potty training anyone? Humor is key! Sometimes the truth and humor are all you need to feel connected How to handle overnight success and sticking with your purpose The importance of modeling purpose Why having our own goals outside of our kids is important Balance is tough Letting go of ‘mom-guilt’ Where to find Meredith: Website l Facebook I Instagram l Twitter l You Tube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Skills, skills skills! Mama Tanya shares with our community an incredible example of how meeting your child where they are at can shift the outcome of your experience. It is easy for us as parents to become presumptive about misguided behavior Remember how curiosity is key? By becoming curious with our kids, we are able to recognize the skills they still need to develop, as well as see the reasons for certain choices, which are not always what they seem. Mama Tanya shares: “Sorry for the long post but I need some advice. “ school, and they gave him homework to do over the weekend. He said he didn't think it was fair to have homework on the weekends (which I agree), but on Saturday he set his homework on fire! Took the lighter when no one was watching, went outside like he was going to go play, and set it on fire burning half the page and dunking it in the pool. When I found the half burned sheet of paper in the pool, I kept my cool but was obviously shocked that he would react that way to homework. I let him know that I thought it was a poor decision to 1. light something on fire (safety!) and 2. refuse to do his homework in such a permanent way. Internally I felt helpless and frantic to solve the problem, externally I let him know that I get it, homework sucks, and I reminded him that he could ask for help. I asked him what made him set it on fire, was he feeling overwhelmed? Or angry? Or both? He was visibly upset both about being caught and about homework so I didn't preach or press the issue until later that day. When he was calm I talked to him about how sometimes we have to do things we don't like (like washing dishes) but we can learn to do it anyway, it doesn't have to be perfect, and we can ask for help. I also explained that between two extremes (setting homework on fire and staying up till midnight doing homework- neither which are healthy) he could find a happy medium. He said he had not done his best and that he would try to do his best this week. - I felt like it was handled positively all in all. But, when he told his father and co-parent (who lives elsewhere) over the phone, his dad immediately started saying that he wasn't going to send him something previously promised, that he would take his computer and phone away if he ever did it again, and went into punishment mode. So, what would you do? I thought about saying he couldn't do his electronic time until he completed his homework. Or I would give him extra electronic time every time he completed his homework. But I am super conflicted. I feel like homework issues should be dealt with by the teacher. Natural consequences. Of course I want to help the teacher, but not sure how...” Bullet Point: How to approach the reasoning behind the behavior Kids do more in response with how they feel Getting off the emotional freight train Getting curious so we can be solution minded, see where child has influence Parents assume children make choices rationally, when in fact they have limited skills Revisiting Dr. Siegel’s “Palm of the Hand” example Assessing what else can be going on inside their body How to identify lacking skills and helping kids deal with the discomfort Letting go of our perspective as the only perspective Letting go of “should” (ex. They should know better) Quotes: 14:52 “Curiosity really allows us to move past assumptions and get into our child’s world”. 15:07 “Curiosity requires us to let go of the idea that we know all the answers and what it is that our kids need”. Links mentioned in the show: Podcast Episode 75 – Marcilie Boyle Podcast Episode 100 – Dr. Tina Payne Bryson Dan Siegel's Brain Video Casey's Teaches Kids about the Brain Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

World traveler, calm seeker, mom coach, multi-lingual speaker, Alexander Hughes, brings us her methods for supporting mamas in the chaos that is parenthood. The trials and tribulations of her own experience in motherhood would eventually fuel the passion of support she gives to other moms navigating the same road. Alex has created a soft space for mamas feeling out of control to find their rhythm and calm. At her website inneressencecoaching.com one has access to her workshops, authentic words of wisdom and that much needed place to connect with someone who gets it. With three kids and a handful of international moves Alex knows what it means to feel out of control in the mama chaos – which is why she has turned over every rock to find that much needed calm. We really should just make her wear a cape. What you will hear in this episode: Alex’s journey into and out of chaos An experience of transitions from a working professional to working mom to stay at home mom and back to working mom Our vision vs. our reality Why finding calm is so important as a mother The importance of mother’s nurturing a relationship with self Identifying patterns and models in current parenting Understanding where patterns and models come from Understanding the internal work necessary to tackle patterns & models How we set ourselves up and why this can ultimately lead to chaos Changing how we see the road – going from linear to cyclical Understanding the cycles through life Awareness of what we model for our kids Access to tools 1) manage stress 2) manage anger 3) creating a life for yourself that are aligned with values and self loving How our words create expectations for the inner child Where courage lies Summary of how Alex helps mamas on the road to calm - #1 Internal Work #2 External Work Self Care – is about “doing stuff that lights you up” Calm responding wisdom & tools Quotes: “When you have kids and you're a stay-at-home mom and you have stay-at-home parents, checking those boxes and feeling that sense of achievement doesn’t always happen”. 6:34 “Models and patterns live deep inside of me based on my own childhood and my own experiences”. 11:16 “Create a new best friend voice that is going to support us in the choices we are going to make”. 12:06 “If we can switch from that and seeing these mistakes, those blowups as opportunities to reconnect with your kid, teach your kid, learn yourself”. 20:28 “It’s your job to love yourself and to practice self care and self love because your children are watching you. AND you are a better everything when you do”. 43:04 What does Joyful Courage mean to you: “I think that you need to be courageous to be a conscious mom, to practice positive parenting, or to take that journey toward calm responding. It’s about opening yourself up to feelings. It’s about treating those moments as learning opportunities when you do ‘make those mistakes’. When you open yourself up, you need to be courageous to be vulnerable. Once you do that it opens up this space for connection, which without there would be no joy”. Where to find Alex: WebsiteFacebookLinkedin Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage. Raising our children while growing ourselves... ::::: Practice, practice, practice. There is no other way to really move into how we want to BE. Practice is the key. The beauty of choosing and moving through practice is we discover new ideas, concepts and understandings that make our practice more enjoyable AND dare I say magical. In this episode we dig a little deeper into the idea of using our lens to take us to where we want to go. When toddling through different lenses we can shift this practice even deeper. We are joined by Ian O’Roarty, tween extraordinaire, into the lens of his practice through making amends. Listen and see how many fruitful lenses you discover. What you will hear: iTunes reviews – yay!! Thank you!! Ian is my guest to talk about what making amends looks and feels like from an 11 year old perspective Power of perception Moving into the perception of being a new sibling What might that look like to a toddler? How we collect evidence to support our perception What will we choose in the practice of collecting evidence? Is our evidence creating our fears? OR is our evidence helping us move through how we want to be? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Kristin Hovious is a committed teacher with over a decade of experience in vocational, adult education, serving Chicago’s Cortiva Institute as both Education Director (2007-2008) and Adjunct Faculty Member (2006-2017.) Her training as a massage therapist and yoga teacher provides a foundation and love for anatomy and science of human development. As a Positive Discipline Certified Trainer, Kristin, combines a career of teaching and serving with her passion for creating mutually respectful environments for families, children, classrooms and schools. In her collaboration with teachers, administrations and families, Kristin’s goal is to help facilitate opportunities for adults and students to become compassionate leaders, with the hope that doing so will help build more peaceful communities. Kristin has served on the Positive Discipline Association Board of Directors as a Consultant since 2016. What you will hear in this episode: Kristin’s journey into Positive Discipline (PD) How PD grew in the Hovious’ Home and the challenges that came with learning a new way How teaching anatomy in her career paved the way for curiosity in neuroscience Understanding how emotions and behaviors influence connection Discussion on ‘kind and firm’ rephrasing as ‘connection and accountability’ and why Why shifting society’s idea of mistakes and punishments lacks ability to repair Understanding mistakes as opportunities to learn How repairing is a practice and it has the power to transform our relationships Mistakes lead to repairing opportunities Kristin walks us through four steps in healthy repair Relatable examples from Kristin’s own life help us empathize and feel supported in our own challenges Modeling is key Sticking to our agendas is a way we move away from connection When we repair relationships we have the power to heal connections Diving into our parenting pain so we can make amends Discomfort is a place to get curious, not a place to get stuck “I don’t think repairing relationships comes naturally or easy to us. It is practice”. What does Joyful Courage mean to you? “What Joyful courage means to me is that there is a consistent opportunity to practice repair. That is always worth it - it’s so important in the whole trajectory in our lives together as human beings. If we can be joyful in repair then maybe we can also turn the corner and be joyful about mistakes”. Where to find Kristin: Selchicago.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Who needs sleep? If you think about your best parenting moments vs. your more challenging ones I think we could venture to say that sleep OR lack of sleep would be a BIG contender. We have all been there. We move fluidly through that familiar bedtime routine, finish that last Llama Llama page, kisses, lights out….. We are no further from the kitchen when we hear “Mooooooooooom”!!! or Daaaaaaadddddeeeeeeeeeeee”! Sigh. Mama Christine posted this week about her daughter’s sleep struggles “oh, tribe, apologies for the long post, but I'm in dire need of some help. bedtime. dear lord, my daughter is 5, and it. is. brutal. her bedroom is on the first floor, mine is upstairs. she's often hungry before bedtime, so we usually do a snack like high fat yogurt and fruit. after bedtime jobs are done, i read to her, we sing, and say our goodnights...generally 20ish minutes. nearly every night, she's out of bed for any number of 'reasons': need to say goodnight to the dog, still hungry, thirsty, needs to say something to me, needs to ask me a question, needs another hug, says she can't sleep (within minutes of me leaving her bedroom) and the list goes on”. Christine is not alone here, otherwise there would not be a book called Go the F@ck to Sleep . Let’s break this struggle down, so Christine can get some sleep and her little one can feel peaceful slumber. What you will hear: · Iceberg view – top of the iceberg; requests, getting our of bed, one last… Under the surface; belonging and significance, influence, connection · Mischief showing up when we have misguided ideas about belonging and significance · Getting curious, noticing lack of skills to complete task (ie going to sleep) · Getting curious so we can be solution minded, see where child has influence · Children long for connection, they settle for attention · Creating routines that help kids know what is happening and allowing them to have influence · Making agreements to help kids create boundaries · What is my child’s perspective? · Asking how am I feeding this problem? Link to Deborah MacNamara Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage. Raising our children while growing ourselves... ::::: Kate Orson is a Hand in Hand parenting instructor, and author of Tears Heal: How To Listen To Children is on the podcast today! Originally from the UK she now lives in Basel, Switzerland, with her husband, author Toni Davidson, and their four year old daughter Ruby. You can find her work in parenting magazines including The Green Parent, Juno and Smallish. What you’ll hear in this episode: An introduction to Hand in Hand Parenting Children’s natural healing abilities Helping to attune to a child in a calm manner The benefits of crying Need for cortisol to be released from a stressful event It’s crucial children have safe space to release stress How to find ways to connect, special time Learn to listen to your children’s emotions Signs to look for in distressed children Getting out of our need to “fix it” or “stop it” response Children will release on their own terms Be available and take an interest in them Quotes: “I think our entire culture has this mental block when it comes to crying”. “I came across this different way of listening to the emotions. It’s reframing the way we view tears. It’s about listening and allowing the feelings”. “Children need safety to let go of feelings”. What does Joyful Courage mean to you? “I would say parenting is really really hard work. Sometimes we make mistakes and it may seem really hard to get up the next day and embrace it as a fresh day. We should have the Joyful Courage to embrace the challenges of parenting”. Where to find Kate: website I Facebook I Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Casey is solo! One of the most effective and accessible tools in Positive Discipline, which fully connects our kids to significance and belonging, is the offer and the counter-offer. Casey and her very special guest, Melany, discuss the best way to use offers and counter-offers. What you’ll hear in this episode: · My eight year old niece chimes in on why having the option to counter offer helps her feel happy · Imagine aligning your vision of boundaries and expectations with that of your child’s · Building life long skills in processing, communicating and self confidence · An effective tool that helps build feelings of belonging and significance · What are non-negotiables vs.negotiables · How opening up the opportunity for your child to have a voice will help them ease into non-negotiables with healthy cooperation Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Tina Payne Bryson is the co-author (with Dan Siegel) of two New York Times bestsellers: The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline. She is the Executive Director of the Center for Connection in Pasadena, CA and a pediatric and adolescent psychotherapist. She keynotes conferences and conducts workshops for parents, educators, and clinicians all over the world. Dr. Bryson earned her Ph.D. from the University of Southern California, where her research explored attachment science, childrearing theory, and the emerging field of interpersonal neurobiology. You can learn more about her at TinaBryson.com, where you can subscribe to her blog and read her articles about kids and parenting. ::::: What you will hear in this episode: How Dr. Dan Siegal and Tina collaborated on THE WHOLE-BRAINED CHILD How science can help guide parents in really profound ways Programs, communities and in which Dr. Bryson’s work is taught The importance of HOW are parent shows up to the nervous system of a developing child How getting CURIOUS with your child creates gateways into building important life skills and self regulation How making ASSUMPTIONS delays or stops tool building; ie, taking behavior personal, over explaining behavior, making character assumptions, if they did it once they should be able to consistently complete task/request Paying attention to a developing nervous system If the nervous system is not regulated the child cannot have choice over behavior How to influence the nervous system in both self and child Identification of Dr. Bryson and Dr. Siegals emotional “ZONES”; Red Zone, Blue Zone, Green Zone The Frontal Cortex is not developed yet Children do not have the architecture to control “reptilian brain” / “fight or flight” in red or blue zones – difficulty paying attention, learning, regulating Tools/techniques to get in “green zone” – regulated, calm, empathetic, attune Behavior is communicating child’s lack of skills When to seek out professional help Self regulation – be gentle and kind with ourselves (reference Kristin Neff, of self-compassion.org) New techniques require time and PRACTICE Calming strategy when child is disregulated- get BELOW eye level and use soothing words including “I’m right here with you” Brain associates with physical state – floppy noodle technique Body shift can help shift emotions How discipline is teaching We need to give children tools not take them away Thoughts on consequences Key actions of soothing, connection, problem-solving, playfulness and being pro-active build a “whole-brained” child How to recognize our own “zones” and practice getting/staying into “green zone” Where to find Dr. Tina Bryson: tinabryson.com – infinite resources to put into practice! Facebook l Twitter What to watch for: New books by Dr. Dan Siegel and Dr. Tina Payne Bryson The YES Brain - January 2018 Showing Up – TBD Info from the Show:Lantern CampsKristin Neff, of self-compassion.orgCamp Chippewa http://campchippewa.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome back to the show! Let me share my own story from the trenches… You aren’t the only one who has kids who act like you are ruining their lives when you ask them to help our around the house… AND, it is a beautiful thing when your kids turn it around and own their behavior, right? It is a good thing, yes, but I am getting curious about if I am inadvertently raising a people pleaser….?? A question from the community Mama Denise shares “Literally losing my mind on first day of summer vacation over iPads. I don't have an ounce of energy for a single tool. I'm the worst mom ever, according to my daughter (5y 10mos). And my 7 1/2 yo son "needs this mower" on a farm simulator game. Literally feel like pitching these machines in the dumpster. Thank you for listening.” These are the struggles where we can release most of the load and pull our kids into co-creation. Casey takes Denise’s familiar scenario and leads us through the practice of intention, presence and solution. Showing up intentionally, rather than reactively Creating intention and applying it to our lens and presence Noticing the ease of intention when the ride is smooth and the rockiness when things fall apart Creating routines that help kids know what is happening and allowing them to have influence Making agreements to help kids create boundaries Identifying needs vs. privileges. ex. Screen time – it is a privilege Privilege comes after contributions Difference between contribution vs. chores A privilege differs from a reward It’s not about “earning”, it’s about “management” Guiding kids to have a voice in solutions when they feel an agreement or routine is not working Seeing the tip of the iceberg and KNOW that beneath the surface is a request for boundaries Allowing children a voice means we hold them as contributors to the cause Children are more likely to follow through when they have a voice in the creation of the agreement Introducing offer and counter offer tool – teaches parent how to let go of agenda, control and rigidity Sharing power when stakes are low Resources: Routine Handout Agreement Handout Quotes: “There are ways of being that support us in the journey.” “Everything is an opportunity to grow, to be better, and to be curious.” “Underneath all of the behavior all of the challenges and mischief that shows up is the underlying need for belonging, significance and influence. Our children only have so many years of life to filter and make sense of it.” “In the co-creation of routines and agreements the underlying message is that the child’s voice matters.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Meet Kerry Foreman, psychotherapist, mother, wife and mindfulness guide. Kerry’s practice and blog, Grounded, settles around mindfulness awareness and the practice to live a life you’ll truly love. After a tough childhood, Kerry recognized that the tools she had to cope with life were unhealthy. Life her threw her some tough lessons, but by surrounding herself with healthy people she began to open the gifts of healthy practices, which began her healing journey. One by one she was able to acknowledge the unhelpful coping mechanisms and could then change and design how she wanted to live. Kerry lives in Colorado with her family. Her blog, Grounded, is a place for those who find strength in uplifting words and real, raw stories. It’s for those who love the idea of Mindfulness but maybe have no idea what that even looks like in real life. Kerry’s passion is to help people learn to live with a clearer lens. ::::: What you’ll hear in this episode: Recognition of FOO (Family of Origin) patterns and the call to make changes Psychological/verbal/emotional abuse trains us react rather than respond Noticing patterns such as shame, guilt and anger – where do they originate? Becoming a parent can bring these to the surface. How do we recognize where we need to change? Learning to respond instead if react Understand and reflect on our own parents’ experience Creating change and becoming aware of our own inner state of being Mindfulness practice influences the shift into better relationships How do we become grounded in order to stay balanced and present in mind no matter what is happening around us? Where control plays a role in mindfulness and the contrast in anxiety What do we chose to believe – what is the story we play in our minds? Self talk of being a victim – recognizing the language Expectations of others and how to stay mindful and in control while at the same time releasing what we are not in control of. What does Joyful Courage mean to me? “Joyful Courage is finding the joy in being brave enough to parent differently. Finding a new path in order to allow our kids to be who they were meant to be.” Where to find Kerry: YouTube l Facebook l Twitter l BLOG Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Casey takes listeners through real scenarios shared by our parenting community. She takes us through the process of connecting before correcting, so that we can create solutions with our kids. She invites listeners to recognize the tools we are using that aren't helpful, and shares how to replace them with tools that help us connect. while also guiding them to work together and find solutions that empower them. What you’ll hear in this episode: How to show up and hold space for problem solving with your kids Becoming aware of the rigidity and resistance when disciplining their kids Recognize that often the best solutions come directly from our kids Becoming aware of non-judgment and non-attachment and understand how this can positively influence the parent/child relationships What does it look like to surrender and how this can become a practice of modeling Understanding their developmentally appropriate behavior is not against parents – it’s their developmental phase. Brain development plays a major role in behaviors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Yup. I interviewed my family. Really it was all in celebration of my husband for Father's Day. Listen in as we talk about a range of things from our birth story, to how AWESOME it is to be married to a parent educator, and advice for moms on how to talk to dads about parenting. Also, special guests appearances by my kids, who talk about what they love about their dad - from the early years to now. Let me know what you think!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Casey invites fellow Positive Discipline Coach, Melissa Benaroya, to discuss surviving Summer Break. In this episode they offer practical tools and solutions to set you and your family up for a successful summer. Two to three months is a long time to keep your kids occupied and stimulated. Get an insight into the importance of boredom and why you don’t have to plan every single second of your children’s vacation. Tune in and learn how routine and summer coexist to help you have fun too! Melissa is a neighbor here in the Pacific Northwest. In addition to being a mother of two, Melissa has a Masters degree in Social Work, is a Credentialed School Counselor and a Certified Gottman Educator. You can find more about Melissa at melissabenaroya.com. What you’ll hear in this episode: The value in creating a summer consistency so your family knows what to expect. Why routines are not confining but an invitation to freedom. How consistency helps encourages children to manage themselves. Why moments of boredom are necessary and the benefits it offers growing kids! How to use mindfulness when creating a summer schedule. Tools are discussed to set up family agreements on everything from daily schedules to screen time use! You’ll learn how to involve your kids in creating a fun summer everyone will enjoy! What does Joyful Courage mean to you? I think when I hear those two words side by side I think of having the courage to take risks and the joy that can result. Take some risks this summer and encourage your kids to do the same! Where to find Melissa: Facebook l Twitter Her book, “The Childproof Parent” is available on Amazon MELISSA'S WRITING HAS BEEN FEATURED IN: HUFFINGTON POST, PARENTMAP MAGAZINE, & NORTH STATE PARENT MAGAZINE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The first thing that stuck out about our next guest, Jeanne-Marie Paynel is her passion for lifelong learning. In addition to raising two beautiful children, Jeanne-Marie holds a Masters in Education, is the founder and CEO of Voila Montessori and is a Positive Discipline trainer. After reading Dr. Montessori’s work “The Secret of Childhood” she discovered a passion for guiding children and families in healthy parenting approaches. She wanted parents to appreciate the true importance of their role – not as servants or teachers, but as supporters and guides of their children’s natural development. This need in the global community prompted her to launch Voila Montessori, an accessible resources to guide parents in the Montesorri tradition and the Positive Discipline approach. What you’ll hear in this episode: It’s important to empower our children not enable them Setting up a prepared environment for your children’s learning The Montessori philosophy and how it helps children and families today Ways Positive Discipline and the Montessori method merge to provide support The benefits of a child’s freedom of movement and choice in their own environment Tools to help families nurture their child’s potential How to access Montessori methods and find an appropriate educational environment for your child. What does Joyful Courage mean to you? Joyful Courage – to me for one what comes to mind is being aware of how lucky we are – the practice of gratitude is what brings me great joy. In the context of Montessori, being in awe of what your children are going through, their evolution, their adaptation to the world. Courage is speaking up for what is, and accepting at times that we might be wrong. That we might of not interacted with our child the way that would’ve felt better and to be okay with going to your child and saying “I didn’t like the way I did that” “I’m going to better next time”- It’s courageous for adults to say to a child that “I did something wrong”. Being aware that we are not perfect and we are learning next to them. Quotes: “We are not our children’s servants. We are here to empower them to do things for themselves”. “My child was going to be my guide in my parenting journey”. (a realization) “A child is an adult in the making”. Where to find Jeanne-Marie: Voila Montessori - http://www.voilamontessori.com/en/ Pinterest l Facebook l YouTube l Vimeo Ebooks and Resources from Jeanne-Marie Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Meet Julie Stubblefield, founder of Fit Mom Revolution. She’s a mother, wife, fitness professional and all around inspiration of strength and confidence in how we care for our bodies. After years of struggling through the all too common yoyo game, Julie found that changing her attitude and perception around nourishing and moving her body she realized her body was whole, not broken. She’s bringing this “aha moment” and sharing it with moms everywhere inspiring a Fit Mom Revolution! What you’ll hear in this episode: The importance of stepping away from the diet cycle How changing the perception of our bodies will change how we approach the care we give our whole self Having a life you enjoy in a body you love Nourishment and movement are a family practice Giving gratitude around nourishment There is no “one size fits all”, must work for your family Instilling healthy meal time habits for all family members A healthy attitude towards nutrition does not have to be complicated Giving our kids space to share their perception of their body image, and let them explore these feelings What does Joyful Courage mean to you? Joyful courage means taking the approach of curiosity and hope to create a beautiful experience for you and your family. It’s worth going out on a limb for. Where to find Julie: – Love Your Bodcast Podcast - subscribe on iTunes and Stitcher Radio http://www.fitmomrevolution.com/ Pinterest l Facebook l Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Meet Carly Mentlik, tween whisperer. Carly’s vast education and experiences have led her to craft The Inner Rainbow Project. She coaches parents and caregivers “to help our tween daughters grow up to be the confident, emotionally healthy, self-aware women that they deserve to be”. Nine through pre-teen can be a very challenging time for parents and tweens to navigate. Carly’s passion and guiding light gives parents and caregivers the tools to help navigate this extremely important development phase with ample support. The world is changing faster and faster every day. We need our girls to have the confidence to speak their truth and live in their authenticity! Carly holds a Masters in Clinical Counseling, dual Bachelors in Special and Elementary Education all from NYU. She is a single mom, Yoga instructor and all around inspiration. What you’ll hear in this episode: Challenges tween girls navigate Elementary to Middle School transition. Importance of cultivating a strong foundation for girls at this developmental stage. How feelings and emotions are changing and affect your tween and their experience. Tools for helping your tween find self-awareness, acceptance and discovery in a safe and healthy environment. How to address body image and help tweens feel confidence and compassion in/for themselves. The importance of your tweens voice and how to support their expression. How to use creativity and have fun to build connection with your tween. Practical lessons and rituals that help both you and your tween put tools into daily practice. What you can expect from working with Carly. Special introduction to The Chakra Girls! What does Joyful Courage mean to you? Being a mom and being blessed to follow my passion, it is gratitude. It’s terrifying to embark on these things and you need that courage, but it’s with such joy because I am so grateful to have this opportunity to do this work. Where to find Carly: https://www.betterhelp.com/carly-mentlik/ https://www.innerrainbowproject.com/ Facebook l Instagram l Pinterest Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Jenna Phillips Ballard, a certified personal trainer and life coach for celebrities, previously featured on Dr. Phil and The Doctors. She is on a mission to motivate and inspire leaders to make the world a better place through self-love. After waking up from a coma in the year 2000, she recovered from brain damage and learned about the power of self-love. Her commitment to recovery depended on how she felt about herself and she realized her purpose was to inspire others to break through their limiting beliefs and create an unforgettable life. She cofounded Ascension Leadership Academy with her husband and together they have coached hundreds of people into their greatness. She’s also the founder of Unicorn University, an online membership community where women never spend another day of being beige, broken or behaved. We are discussing emotional intelligence – reframing the stories we tell about the experiences in our life and engaging with our children. Join us! “I believe that being a parent, being a mom or a dad or a parental figure is the most important job in the entire world because of our world, our planet depends upon how our children today are going to take on that responsibility when they become adults. It’s incredibly important that people get the opportunity to look at their life through a different lens. You can’t change the past, but you can absolutely change the story you tell about your past and that’s how you can re-write history” What you’ll hear in this episode: · Compassion as a mindset · Finding the lesson, learning and opportunity in parenting struggles · How Fear limits mindset and fulfillment · Managing Fear and operating in its presence · Finding our worthiness beneath all the preconceptions we have about ourselves · Selfishness and setting examples for self care – modeling and cycle breaking · How to shift your mindset around time, busyness and abundance – reframing how we see time and capacityRef · Being an interruption to your own thought patterns that don’t move you forward · How to be a “meaning making machine” · Reframing typical mom complaints as invitations to conversation · Reframing as a practice, shifting your mindset around abundance and asking for support to stretch your plate · How to get out of your own way Resources: The Power of Now Where to find Jenna: Website l Ascension Leadership Academy l (Ascension Facebook, Ascension instagram) Jenna’s FB Live every Thursday night at 7 PST Facebook l Instagram l Twitter l Unicorn University Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS BONUS EPISODE!! Omg. I have been bugging my guests to come and talk to me since meeting them LAST May at the Mom 2.0 conference. Alicia Ybarbo and Mary Ann Zoellner are both producers at the Today Show, bestselling authors, and mamas to two kids. Their life is BUSY, and they find humor, compassion and forgiveness around every corner. They came on the show to talk about their book, Shitty Moms, and the sequel, Shitty Moms for All Seasons. Alicia and Mary Ann keep it real. Their honesty, insights, and willingness to laugh and say what so many of us only dare to think will hook you right from the start. Please listen in. Where to find Alicia and Maryann's books: Today's Moms: Essentials for Surviving Baby's First Year Shitty Mom: The Parenting Guide for the Rest of Us Shitty Mom For All Seasons: Half Assing it All Year Long Where to find Shitty Mom: Shitty Mom on Facebook Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Janet Allison, a Waldorf teacher and family coach. We are discussing boys and how they learn. Join us! “Be aware of his need to move his body. It’s absolutely critical that he have some time before school to move his body.” What you’ll hear in this episode: ​​​​​​​ Gender-based differences in learning styles – the value of kinetic learning when teaching boys How modern teaching methods set our boys up to fail Maturity and developmental differences between genders Expulsion rates of boys vs girls in pre-k Impacts of the learning environment on boys’ self-esteem Optimal learning environments for boys Best age for starting school and the disconnect between intellectual and emotional development Managing expectations of practice vs. mastery Releasing physical energy to support emotional regulation Finding ways to accommodate “wriggly kids” in the classroom Building relationships with your son’s teacher – what questions to ask How to encourage independence and service to others Supporting your child in remembering things Relevance/meaning and learning by doing: educational approaches that work for boys The value of trades education The benefits of mentorship – how to find a mentor for your child and be intentional in your relationship building What does Joyful Courage mean to you? Joyful courage means being willing to step out of complacency, out of the box, and follow that inner voice that you have saying “Yes!” even when you are in doubt or fear say “Yes!” anyways and I strive to do this in everything I do is bring joy to it. Go to the grocery store and find some joy. I have a friend who buys flowers every Tuesday during her grocery shopping and her goal is to give those flowers away by the time she gets back to her house….Stepping out of our boxes and our little narrow lanes and our busy-ness or overwhelm in our own life but just stepping out a little bit to see there’s this world out there and what can I do to bring joy into the world – and we need it. For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Larissa Dann, a Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.) trainer. We are discussing parenting without rewards and punishments. Join us! “Children don’t misbehave, they behave to meet a need.” What you’ll hear in this episode: Being assertive without alienating our children Using “I messages” to communicate needs Trusting our child’s desire to be helpful vs. presenting requests in a way that is prescriptive Using active listening to gain cooperation The limitations of contingent rewards The impact of rewards on motivation for cooperation – who are they cooperating for Omitting rewards to foster self-discipline and an inner locus of control Preparing children for adulthood by making them less dependent on the judgment of others Using relationship skills to help your child develop a moral compass The power of natural consequences in building resilience and developing internal judgments about right and wrong Trusting children to care and problem solve to find mutual solutions How children’s behavior is impacted by unmet needs Avoiding the temptation to attribute intent or take behavior personally The gift of imperfection and modeling accountability The benefit of modeling alternate skills to teach solutions instead of using punishments The impact we have on the world through our own parenting practices in the way we raise our kids Parenting as imparting soft skills Brainstorming solutions to discomfort when the activity is non-negotiable Creating routines and agreements, doing with vs doing to and communicating expectations in a way that is an invitation to relationship Conflict as competing needs Shifting language around what “works” to what is “helpful” – moving from control to partnership What does Joyful Courage mean to you? This is what it takes to be a child growing up in an adult’s world and it’s something we so often forget. Children so often are powerless and it takes courage for them to say no when we are the huge person in their life and when they think they might get into trouble and yet they are the most joyful beings on the planet. In the face of the most dire situations, children can somehow find that spark of joy that they can bring out from terrible situations. As a parent, it takes the courage of conviction, to parent against the flow of accepted parenting opinion and practice and the joy comes when you see your children flower and grow sometimes despite your many mistakes. Resources: Parent Effectiveness Training Where to find Larissa: Website l Facebook l Twitter l Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

** This podcast is marked explicit for a reason!** So happy to have my friend Rebecca Gallagher, from frugalistablog.com on this bonus episode to dig into the popular and controversial Netflix series 13 Reasons Why. Rebecca is raising teens, and like me, watched the show and had powerful discussions about the themes that show up with her daughter. Rowan and I actually watched the show together. The themes that show up in 13 Reasons Why, created by Brian Yorkey and based on a book of the same name by Jay Ashor, are heavy, and intense. Some parents are unsure about whether it is something they want their kids to see. Rebecca and I don't claim to have answers, but we do discuss our own opinions and experiences we had with sharing the show with our kids and the conversation that showed up because of it. Topics include sexual assault, bullying, sexual harassment, rape and suicide. Like I said, intense. AND important to be talking about with the young people in our life. Let me know what you think! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest, Noha Alshugairi, is a “citizen of the world,” a licensed marriage and family therapist who practices in Newport Beach, California and positive discipline trainer. We are discussing positive discipline in the Muslim home. Join us! “I don’t need to be preaching what Islam says to us in order to be teaching Positive Discipline.” What you’ll hear in this episode: Diversity within the Muslim community (80 groups, with differing faith) How Muslim teachings align with Positive Discipline principles (building social interest, fostering belonging and contribution, understanding the belief behind the behavior, encouragement, mutual respect, kindness and firmness at the same time, short-term vs long-term and focus on solutions) How does Islam promote mutual respect? The concept of obedience as it relates to both Islam and Positive Discipline Doing the best you can with the tools you have – how excellence at 3 or 4 looks difference than excellence in adolescence The impacts of hanging onto childhood hurt in adulthood What non-Muslims are most surprised to learn about Muslim families Concerns of Muslim parents – how to protect children from Islamophobia & how to build a cultural identity they can be proud of? Finding peace through focus on your circle of influence and stepping away from victimhood How to broaden your understanding and support for the Muslim community Connecting with larger groups as minority group members to move past stereotypes What does Joyful Courage mean to you? Having joy while you are facing life. It’s difficult because life is not smooth sailing. Resources: Positive Parenting in the Muslim Home 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Where to find Nosha: Website – Sakina Counselling Website – Positive Parenting in the Muslim Home Facebookl Youtube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Angela Pruess, a child and family therapist and special needs mom of 3 on a mission to support and empower parents of behaviorally challenging and special needs kids. We are discussing parenting without rewards and punishments. Join us! What you’ll hear in this episode: Gentle parenting defined – intentionality, connection Attachment theory and gentle parenting Avoiding slipping into extremes with gentle parenting Optimal attachment parenting – responsive and nurturing while setting limits and boundaries How to get perspective when you feel “stuck” in parenting patterns that aren’t working Focussing on the long view of what values you are wanting to raise your child with Understanding the “why” behind your child’s behavior – physiologically speaking particularly for special needs kids Interventions that focus on the root of behavior versus the surface level behaviors Backing up and zooming out as a practice to respond more effectively to challenging behaviors Intentionality and mindfulness as parenting techniques to reduce overwhelm in parenting special needs kids Moving from victimhood and blame to becoming influencers of parenting experiences Grief in special needs parenting and unpacking those complicated feelings Techniques for working through tough feelings and heavy thoughts to create space for something different The need for self-care in special needs parenting, and being mindful about what activities are most helpful The freedom of self-compassion and intentionality of gratitude Asking for help: not a sign of weakness, an invitation to community Lagging skills vs undesirable behavior – learning to focus on the right area to improve outcomes What does Joyful Courage mean to you? Through a parenting with confidence lens, having the courage to boldly walk this path that’s challenging and unexpected, to move forward feeling confident and feeling like you’re giving your child your best self. Also, being able to do so with joy and having this genuine acceptance of our story – who our child is and who we are. They were given to us and we were woven together for a reason. Having courage and finding joy through the struggles and unexpected challenges. Resources: Aha parenting website The Explosive Child – Ross Greene Positive Discipline for Children With Special Needs Where to find Angela: Website Facebook Twitter Pinterest Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Leanne Kabat is on the show today talking about her vision of a world where mamas come together to love, support and CELEBRATE all parts of themselves!! Leanne is the Head Mama of Mamacon, an annual conference for moms in the Pacific Northwest. She shares her story, her inspiration, and her desire to connect mamas not only to themselves, but also to each other. Join us at Mamacon, April 29th from 2-10pm. Get your tickets here!! BOGO sale is happening through midnight, Friday, April 14. GET ON IT - bring a friend, TREAT yourself!! Where to follow Leanne and Mamacon: Website l Facebook l Twitter l Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Lisa Fuller. Lisa Fuller, M.S.W., Certified Positive Discipline Trainer, Certified Professional Coach and a Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator, has been working with parents since 2005 to help them find joy and moment of peace even in the midst of chaos. Lisa’s a compassionate listener whose committed to empowering parents through Positive Discipline’s common sense principles. Having three children ages 21, 17 and 10, Lisa’s steeped in the challenges and joys of parenting. Lisa also offers one on one coaching for parenting and life! She believes the world is a better place when we—adults and children—strive to treat each other with respect and love. Today we are talking about developing shame resilience. “Shame is something that we all have. It’s universal. Every human being experiences shame – those who don’t usually have some significant problems. It’s not a bad thing. That’s one good thing about shame – it means you are a caring human being.” What you’ll hear in this episode: What is shame and why should we talk about it? How positive discipline relates to shame Shame and guilt – what’s the difference? How do they connect to humiliation and embarrassment? The physical sensations of shame The individual personal nature of shame Practicing critical awareness – how to reality check the messages that are driving your shame The value of having someone to talk through shame with What makes a good person to talk shame with How to encourage shame resilience in children Reducing shame by normalizing experiences Creating opportunities for belonging What it means to lead with the message with love How to connect without trying to fix Empathy and shame – how to support when you can’t relate to the experience Cultivating relationships that allow us to speak to our shame How to show up in your relationships that shows you are a safe place to talk shame Doing vs Being – their roles in building shame resilience Personal practices for finding joy within instead of looking to our children to complete us What does Joyful Courage mean to you? Taking risks with heart. The courage is taking the risks and moving ahead and doing it but doing it with your full being. The last couple years I’ve had some very significant deaths in my life and I think in so many ways it’s been a gift – it does highlight joy, the simple joy of being alive and how I’m able to be more grateful that I have this gift of life which isn’t going to last forever. Losing people who are close to us that’s the upside is that we go “Wow, this is temporary, this life, it really is.” I think when we get caught in the swirl of parenting we can ‘beam in’ – these other, bigger issues help us beam out. Joy helps with shame and getting perspective. Resources: The Daring Way Daring Greatly Monthly Support Group (With Marcillie Smith Boyle and Lisa Fuller) Where to find Lisa: Website l Twitter l Facebook l LinkedIn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Cheryl Erwin, a therapist and parenting educator who began teaching parenting after her marriage broke down. We are discussing single parenting today. Join us! What you’ll hear in this episode: The biggest challenges facing single parenting – finances, housing, misconceptions/stereotypes Asking for help as a single parent Making time for special time and relationship building when you’re outnumbered Using connection to build resilience Self-care and self-compassion after divorce and separation Finding joy vs creating joy – finding happy after separation The blessings and gifts of being a single parent The two kinds of special time The power of routine in single parenthood The value of spontaneity and choosing into lightness Lessons in delayed gratification, hard work and problem solving Learning to grow from mistakes Positive discipline as a single parenting tool Learning to let go after raising kids as a single parent Strength that comes from adversity – a gift of single parenthood Choosing to go high when others go low – child-centered co-parenting Being honest about co-parenting challenge while still being respectful and giving space for relationships to be maintained Single parenting by numbers – 70% of American kids spend some of their time in a single parent household Step parents as blessings to your children The importance of facilitating communication between parents and children during the other parent’s parenting times What does Joyful Courage mean to you? To take each day as it comes and look for what’s right about it not what’s wrong with it and to not be afraid of risk – I’ve never been a good risk taker but as a single mom I learned I have to take some. As someone who now travels the world teaching positive discipline I’ve gotten comfortable with getting on planes and flying off to Egypt by myself when I don’t know anybody there and some of the greatest joy and blessings of my life have been when I found the joy and courage to take an appropriate risk. You don’t have to fly to China or Egypt to do that. You can do it right in your own backyard. Certainly the single parents who are listening know that life can be risky on a pretty regular basis and being able to embrace that and learn the skills you need to be able to do that well will bring you joy in your kids, joy in your grandparents and joy in your own life. At the end of it, my son goes off into the horizon and I’m left with my life and what I make of it and I’m trying to do something with my life that I can be proud of and that’s what joyful courage means to me. It’s taken me all of these 60 years to figure that out. Resources: Positive Discipline for Single Parents Where to find Cheryl: Website l Facebook Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Yipee - one more day of the 0-5 Mini Summit with Julietta!! Today Julie and I dig into questions from the community surrounding self care. We KNOW it is important, and yet so many of us struggle to get it in! Listen in as Jules and I discuss chores, having the courage to seek out mental health, and how self care tips that help us keep calm during those epic meltdowns. Julietta is the cofounder of Sproutable, an online learning experience for parents, focused on development and years 0-5. She has a Masters Degree in School Counseling and Ed.S Degree in School Psychology from Seattle University. As a Certified Positive Discipline Trainer, she teaches Positive Discipline parenting classes and provides Positive Discipline trainings for teachers and parent educators. Julietta led the Seattle Public Schools Childfind preschool assessment screening team from 2007-2014. She is currently the school counselor at Queen Anne Elementary. She is the proud mother of two daughters ages 7 and 4. She understands the parenting challenges as well as the importance of early intervention and child development. Find more about Sproutable at: http://www.besproutable.com/ Facebook l Twitter l Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Julietta is BACK ON to dig into the challenges brought to us by the Joyful Courage community. Julietta is the cofounder of Sproutable, an online learning experience for parents, focused on development and years 0-5. Julietta has a Masters Degree in School Counseling and Ed.S Degree in School Psychology from Seattle University. As a Certified Positive Discipline Trainer, she teaches Positive Discipline parenting classes and provides Positive Discipline trainings for teachers and parent educators. Julietta led the Seattle Public Schools Childfind preschool assessment screening team from 2007-2014. She is currently the school counselor at Queen Anne Elementary. She is the proud mother of two daughters ages 7 and 4. She understands the parenting challenges as well as the importance of early intervention and child development. Find Sproutable at: http://www.besproutable.com/ Facebook l Twitter l Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You all know that I love me some Julietta Skoog! She is a dear friend and a WEALTH of information. Julietta is the cofounder of Sproutable, an online learning experience for parents, focused on development and years 0-5. Julietta has a Masters Degree in School Counseling and Ed.S Degree in School Psychology from Seattle University. As a Certified Positive Discipline Trainer, she teaches Positive Discipline parenting classes and provides Positive Discipline trainings for teachers and parent educators. Julietta led the Seattle Public Schools Childfind preschool assessment screening team from 2007-2014. She is currently the school counselor at Queen Anne Elementary. She is the proud mother of two daughters ages 7 and 4. She understands the parenting challenges as well as the importance of early intervention and child development. Yup. She's amazing. Listen in to todays show as we break down Eric Ericksons model of psychosocial development and what WE as parents can do to ensure that our children are developing trust, autonomy, initiative and industry during their early years. Join us tomorrow as Julie and I dig into challenges sent in from the Joyful Courage community. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Kim Estes, a speaker and coach who talks to parents of kids from pre-school to adolescents about safety concerns. We are discussing free-range parenting. Join us! “Our kids are wanting to explore their world and it’s our job to teach them to do it safely.” What you’ll hear in this episode: Misconceptions about free-range parenting Boundaries in free-range parenting: subject to change based on individual children and age-level Assessing age and individual capacity specific boundaries – the value of checking in for safety Free-range parenting as giving kids space to practice intuition Fear of judgment and free-range parenting Risk assessment and safety – likelihood of concerns relating to traffic safety and abduction Assessing risk tolerance as parents Stranger safety vs Stranger danger Free-range parenting as freedom within structure Finding the happy medium: learning new skills with appropriate boundaries Being consistent about expectations and boundaries Mistakes as learning experiences – handling situations where things don’t go as planned Being available and non-judgmental when negotiating boundaries – dropping into curiosity to keep communication lines open No questions asked, do-overs on both sides and owning failure Exercising self-compassion and forgiveness when you don’t realize you’re being called to “the big show” What does Joyful Courage mean to you? Joyful courage means to me to be able to parent courageously even if it’s uncomfortable, but at the end of the day, having something that feels good for everybody even if it’s the smallest success. Where to find Kim: Website l Facebook l Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Jamie Glowacki, a social worker who worked with dual diagnosis moms, transitioned to owning a children’s store and then became a potty trainer. We are discussing potty training. Join us! “I don’t really have a method. You have to take off the diapers.” What you’ll hear in this episode: The elimination communication movement Timing of potty training readiness “Pull-ups” and potty training – mixing old and new behaviors. Potty training and instant gratification – the role of patience in the process The myths of potty training Gender and potty training The role of social learning and praise Potty location and using the tool for the task The influence of Dr. Spock and the history of potty training Developmental milestones – should they be child-led? The myth of “readiness” - potty training as a skill that needs to be attended to rather than something that happens naturally in time without intervention The “magic window” of potty training – prior to individuation Potty training as a power struggle “Fear of release” – how to overcome it Managing expectations around developmental milestones and the danger of comparison How potty training challenges vary based on the age of the child Performance anxiety and potty training The best potty and ergonomic angle for potty training specifically for encouraging poop How to modify your potty or reposition your child to improve poop likelihood Rewards and consequences – their role in potty training Potty training power struggles as relationship challenges Potty training regressions – change in routines, the honeymoon period Using blocks of learning to solve regressions “Baby love” as a tool to help kids adjust to new siblings Location specific potty training challenges – how to unpack them Night time training strategies Developmental phases of bladder development Resources: Squatty potty unicorn ice cream video Is Night Training Really Necessary – blog post Oh Crap Potty Training Book Oh Crap Potty Training video conferences Where to find Jamie: Website Twitter Facebook Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join the Joyful CourageTribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage. Raising our children while growing ourselves... ::::: So totally honored to have my friend and mentor, Tamara Azar, trainer and coach from Momentum Education on to talk about the important work that Momentum is doing to change the world. Listen in to the very end to hear about the incredibly generous offer to all the Joyful Courage Tribe! Find out more about Momentum Education, including upcoming trainings in Seattle, LA, Washington DC and NYC, by visiting www.momentumeducation.com. ::::: March GIVEAWAY! The last few months I have been encouraging you all to share the shows by holding giveaways - everything from mantra bracelets to coaching has gone out to members of the community who have been willing to join in the work of #impact1millionkids - this month is no exception!! Simply by posting a podcast link, and tagging me (Casey O'Roarty) or Joyful Courage, you are entered to win!! This month I am giving away a spot in the Living Joyful Courage Membership program - WOOHOO!! AND, you can enter as many times as you WANT! Yes! ::::: Weekly FB Lives are happening!! Join me every Tuesday at 10am pst on the Joyful Courage FB page to hear about a new Positive Discipline tool that you can begin using ASAP. Even if you are well versed in parenting with PD, you will take a way a renewed commitment and perhaps a deeper understanding of the tool. ::::: Living Joyful Courage Membership Program Join the LIVING JOYFUL COURAGE information list TODAY and enjoy freebies and reminders for when it is time to REGISTER for the membership program!! ::::: Join the Joyful CourageTribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage. Raising our children while growing ourselves... ::::: Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!! AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Shawn Fink, also known as Abundant Mama. She is a mom of eleven-year-old twin girls. We are discussing living a life of abundance in our parenting. Join us! “For me, being awake is being engaged, being thoughtful, being very purposeful, living my values but also being present.” “Mistakes are opportunities to learn.” “Abundance is looking at your life and being grateful that you have enough, that you are enough and you do enough – but it’s much more than that. It’s become a lifestyle.” “There is enough happiness, joy and love in the world for everybody.” What you’ll hear in this episode: Moving from scarcity to abundance mindsets – from jealousy to gratitude Abundance as a way to mother yourself, be authentic and be aware of what’s around and within you Being awesomely awake: paying attention to your life, being mindful and living intentionally Self-care vs Soul-care – what’s the difference and how can it change your life and the way you see it? Being present and discomfort – learning to navigate it vs as being a way to eliminate it How to exercise self-compassion when you haven’t showed up in the way that you’ve hoped to Modelling asking for forgiveness for your kids The joys and challenges of raising tweens Motherhood as self-invention Learning to connect with your children as they grow – navigating relationship change The value in letting kids fail when they need to – leaving room for life lessons and learning how to handle discomfort The power of injecting playfulness into your routine and how it can be productive Finding joy in obligation Building habits for effectiveness in your parenting life What does Joyful Courage mean to you? Joyful Courage is the joyful ability to completely show up as yourself and be you, as a mom, it’s really hard because we are trying so hard to keep everyone else happy. There is nothing better for our kids than for them to see us being fully ourselves. Resources: Insight timer The Playful Family E-book The Abundant Mama online program 10 Habits of Highly Effective Mamas Where to find Shawn: Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest Website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Kim Muench, a mother of five, parenting writer, a certified parenting coach and lover of parents of adolescents. We are discussing navigating decisions around technology with our kids. Join us! “Instead of looking at it as a tool of potential destruction, we are looking at it as a vehicle for us to build a circle of trust and communicate even better.” “Conscious parenting: being mindful and walking the tight rope between giving them autonomy and knowing when to step in and help them see the potential consequences of choices” What you’ll hear in this episode: Balancing your need for control and desire to protect your kids with providing access to benefits of smart phones Building trust, letting go of our own experiences and not projecting our own mischief (which can lead to friction) Navigating the tightrope: being honest, open and self-aware as you work through technology use with your kids Negotiating smart phone boundaries within your family Scaffolding social media communication – building progressively Adolescent boundary pushing as learning Falling off the tight rope – learning as a practice and getting back up Creating an agreement around technology usage – a collaborative approach subject to revision as needed initiated by either party Limits as helping Why you need open conversation about social media including topics such as safeguards and kindness Technology as distraction and disconnection Reassessing agreements on technology without blame and shame The value of eye contact and being fully present in resolving conflict How to address reigning in technology use under the umbrella of conscious parenting – identifying the source Working collaboratively vs exerting control – what are the outcomes of these approaches? What does Joyful Courage mean to you? Joyful Courage is embracing your authentic self with enthusiasm and being brave enough to share that with the world – it is an every day practice. Resources: Screenagers documentary Where to find Kim: Website Twitter Facebook LinkedIn Facebook Group Real Life Parenting Community Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today's guest is Melissa Benaroya. Melissa is a licensed clinical social worker with 20 years of experience working with children and families. Melissa has a Masters degree in Social Work, is a Credentialed School Counselor and is trained in Positive Discipline. She is also a Certified Gottman Educator offering the Bringing Baby Home Program for families with young children and workshops on Emotion Coaching. Melissa practices as a parenting consultant, coach and speaker to groups and individuals by blending her clinical training with her knowledge of child development and discipline. In 2011 she co-authored the book The Childproof Parent. Melissa lives in Seattle with her husband and two children and keeps her sanity with an active lifestyle of running and Crossfit! “Empathy is the ability to feel and understand what another person may be feeling but ultimately … it means connection … and feeling understood.” What you’ll hear in this episode: · Learning to use empathy as a first response and a parenting tool · Empathy as reflecting your child’s feeling back to them versus owning their feelings or relating our own personal experiences · How using personal experiences in place of empathy can escalate conflict · How to use empathy to help your child build emotional resilience · Using empathy effectively to help your child feel heard · Empathy as a practice and a gradual learning process · Childhood developmental milestones in empathy · How to model empathy for your kids · Using the “Fake It Til You Become It” approach to empathy in your parenting · Being mindful of your physical self in how you demonstrate and model empathy · Parenting from the couch as a barrier to empathy · Echoing, mirroring and repetition as empathy · The power of validation in feeling heard – when looking on the bright side gets in the way · Empathy as a transferrable skill. What does Joyful Courage mean to you? It takes courage to take risks and try new things and that’s where joy exists. It’s what parenting requires of us – taking risks and trying new things. Empathy might be taking a risk because it doesn’t feel natural and we are going to have to take lots of risks and try new things throughout our parenting journey. It not only makes us a better parent but it also helps us to grow as an individual and that’s where the joy exists. Resources: The Child-proof Parent Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges Where to find Melissa: Website Child-proof Parenting website Facebook Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join the Joyful CourageTribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage. Raising our children while growing ourselves... ::::: Today’s guest is Rachel Macy Stafford, founder of Handsfree Mama, best selling author and special education teacher. We are discussing letting go of distractions so you can focus on what really matters. Join us! “There is no space for perfection in parenting and living boldly. I want to live bravely, boldly, flawed and full of hope.” What you’ll hear in this episode: Parenting and opportunities to choose to be mindful Avoiding getting caught up in the moment as a practice Making a “presence” pledge to yourself Surrendering and learning to let go of control and expectations of mastery or of a certain outcome Raising future adults and allowing space for practice Self-care and the importance of “do nothing” moments The value of physical self-care Resources: Only Love Today – pre-order until March 7 Where to find Rachel: Website l Facebook l Twitter :::::::::: FEED 3,000 LET'S FEED SOME PEOPLE!! I would love to invite you to join me in making 3,000 snack sacks over the next three months and take them to organizations that serve the hungry!! Not one of us can make all those lunches ourselves - BUT ALL OF US TOGETHER SURE CAN!! So here is the plan, host a gathering at your house and invite other families over. Have each family bring some supplies and together make as many snack sacks as you can!! Click here for the Feed 3,000 Facebook Event Link Click her to go donate to the Feeding America page. :::::::::: Join the Joyful CourageTribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage. Raising our children while growing ourselves... :::::::::: Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!! AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to DAY THREE of the Mindfulness Mini Summit brought to you by Joyful Courage! I am thrilled to be talking today with Molly Knight Forde (Episode 7) meditation teacher and guide at the Awareness School. Listen in to learn: What is a meditation practice? How to create a practice that works for you? And enjoy a 10 minute guided meditation guided by Molly. Happy Meditating!! Click here to check out the newest online offer from Molly! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to DAY TWO of the Mindfulness Mini Summit brought to you by Joyful Courage! I am thrilled to be talking today with Sara Harvey Yao (Episode 68) author of Drop In: Lead With Deeper Presence and Influence. Listen in to learn: Who is meditation for? What are the benefits of meditation? And enjoy a 10 minute guided meditation guided by Sara. Happy Meditating!! Join me tomorrow as I finish up the mini-summit with a conversation with Molly Knight Forde about creating a lasting meditation practice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to DAY ONE of the Mindfulness Mini Summit brought to you by Joyful Courage! I am thrilled to be talking today with Jiovann Carrasco (Episode 43) from the Austin Mindfulness Center. Listen in to learn: What is meditation? What isn't meditation? And enjoy a 10 minute guided meditation Jiovann designed just for parents like YOU! Happy Meditating!! Join me tomorrow as I talk with Sara Harvey Yao about the benefits and possibilities of meditation for parents. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Mary Jo, a coach who focuses on relationships and connections. We are discussing love, romance and intimacy after becoming parents. Join us! “It’s less about the action you take. We look for the action. There’s so many different actions you can take, it doesn’t really matter. The experience is about the connection to your heart. It’s about being connected to what really matters. The actions won’t sustain you or your relationship. Listen to your heart and let that inspire you.” What you’ll hear in this episode: • Finding time for intimacy • The importance of intimacy – finding your why • Intimacy as parenting: part of role modeling healthy relationships • Creating an invitation to intimacy: first steps • Masculine and feminine energy – what’s the difference and why they are both in all of us • Balancing energy to promote your child’s autonomy • Vulnerability, touch and exploring connection • Vulnerability as strength • Relationships take two people, but relating takes one. • Putting up a screen to filter inputs vs putting up a shield • Distinguishing sex and intimacy – moving beyond euphemism • Connecting to “adjust the volume” vs “turning from off to on” – making smooth transitions to intimacy through ongoing mindfulness and connection • Reminding our partner and ourselves of what we appreciate about each other • Resolving disconnection through self-celebration and self-care • How to be curious about identifying and problem solving barriers to intimacy • Engaging universal parenting skills that we practice with our kids • The power of “I’ve Missed You” and remembering the intention • Improving the likelihood of successful connection through celebration and reverence vs. complaint • Letting go of expectations to leave space for what comes naturally What does Joyful Courage mean to you? The fun in being courageous is getting on that super big rollercoaster. It’s not just about death defying acts of meeting demons. It’s really fun to be courageous because it brings amazing results. Connecting those two words is so important because it takes courage to be joyful and how amazing is courage when it has joy in it. It means to be inspired. Where to find MaryJo: Maryjolorei.com Boldly embody life Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Surprise! I am excited to be popping in to encourage, inspire and INFORM you about the how and the why to creating a PARENTING VISION. Listen to this short solo show and then move into action! Our parenting vision is our COMPASS and what keeps us moving in our desired direction within our relationships with our children. Click here for the Parenting Vision Guide. Have a beautiful day! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Jason Frelot. Jasen is a community organizer, father, early childhood educator and social justice advocate based in Seattle, WA. Along with directing Columbia City Preschool of Arts and Culture, he is the co-founder of Kids and Race Seattle, which has been featured in Parent Map Magazine and on NPRs Seattle Affiliate KUOW ; the program has served over 500 people to date and rising every month. His various actions around race and social justice have made front page news in Seattle and have been featured on local news numerous times. He has 15 years of working with children in various capacities. “What we are going for here is real change. What we are going for here is a real conversation that is messy. That means diving deeper into that discomfort.” What you’ll hear in this episode: • Racial identity and the inherent problems with color blindness • How we are teaching white children to be racist and brown/black children they don’t have value (even though we don’t mean to) • How to respond to uncomfortable questions about race and social order • Silence and it’s role in reinforcing the status quo • The role of parenting in promoting diversity • Equality vs equity – what’s the difference? • Treating everyone the same and how it perpetuates inequity • Acknowledging the reality of now: the problem with discussing racism as history and other’s people’s problem • Achievement gaps vs opportunity gaps • Fear of being labeled racist and how it detracts from race focused conversation. • Acknowledging racism as a problem in order to address it • Understanding white privilege – situational power, structural power and individual power. • The relationship between privilege and struggle – how they can both be present • Race as an ongoing conversation • Impacts of opting out of race-focused conversations due to the magnitude of the issue and the responsibility to persevere • Recognizing your role in the problem and in how to fix it • The role of media in how our children view the world and the value of other people - what kids see and what they hear: which impacts children more in the conclusions they draw about the world • Analogy and allegory vs. representation and conversation in media • Role modeling respect in our relationships • Consciously exposing children to diversity • Equipping our teachers to have conversations about race • How to be the squeaky wheel about promoting diversity • Silence as violence: choosing to be uncomfortable and vocal to incite change • Handling pushback and using criticism as an access point to empathy as an ally Resources: Culturally responsive teaching and the brain Kids and Race Resources Where to find Jason: Columbia City Preschool of Arts and Culture, a brand new, social justice based program. Now enrolling for this Spring, and the upcoming school year. for more information go to columbiacitypreschool.org Kids and Race: Changing the Narrative. March 11th at Epiphany. Tickets available. Contact for future events and information [email protected]. Speaking opportunities: [email protected] The Well Queen Anne :::::::::: Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices