Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

Carrie Anne Killeen is a Conscious Parent coach who specializes in assisting parents in increasing peace, love, joy, grace and ease in the home. After living 20 years with a very critical view of herself and those around her, she realized how much love had been missing from her own childhood. Using her children as her biggest teachers, she learned how to heal her own childhood wounds with love, compassion, forgiveness and inner truth. She is deeply dedicated to creating a more peaceful world for children and parents. Carrie Anne inspires parents to see beyond their children’s behaviors to see the hidden truth and wisdom that lies inside their heart and soul. Carrie Anne is a peaceful, single mom of three amazing and highly soulful daughters. She is currently living her heart’s dream in Massachusetts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Full-time parents Natalie Christensen and Nathan M McTague are the founders of the Center for Emotional Education, with the mission to neurally empower individuals and families through emotional and strategic support. They offer a comprehensive line-up of courses, one-to-one coaching support, and Feeleez - a full set of emotional education tools. Natalie and Nathan have been working for over a decade helping families and individuals feel better, do better, and become the best possible versions of themselves. Their next mini-course – Forget Everything Else: The 5 Do-or-Die Parenting Concepts, starts February 13th. websites:Center for Emotional Education.comNathan M McTague.comFB pages:Your Self-Fulfilling LifeParenting on the Same TeamThe Father FactorFB groups:Teaching Children EmpathyThe Empathy Hotline :::::::::: Join the Joyful CourageTribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage. Raising our children while growing ourselves... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Patty Wipfler is the Hand in Hand Parenting Founder and Program Director. Her 40 years of work with parents and children has given rise to Parenting by Connection, a simple but powerful parenting approach that nurtures the parent-child connection. Her Hand in Hand team trains parent leaders in the US and 10 other countries, and offers accessible support for the vital work of parenting. With co-author Tosha Schore, she has written the book, Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges. And Her Listening to Children booklets have sold over 800,000 copies in English, Spanish, and 10 other languages. She is the mother of two sons, and grandmother to three. What you’ll hear in this episode: • Active listening and how it helps people notice how they feel about their own experiences • How being listened to and being able to sort through feelings can help activate problem solving. • The impact of our own childhood experiences on how we perceive challenges in our children’s lives • Parenting by connection and its relationship with positive discipline. • Influencing and using presence, setting limits to encourage better behavior. • How to hold space for your child who is emotionally elevated and let them deal with big feelings • Letting your child feel the feelings and its impact on the healing process • The size of the trigger relative to the depth of hurt – helping your child navigate big feelings • Emotional upset as efficiently releasing tension • Listening partnerships and how they can alleviate parenting stress and facilitate better parenting • Emotional projects: ongoing parenting challenges and how to address them What does Joyful Courage mean to you? Joyful Courage is a human being’s birthright to be joyfully courageous. Joyful courage means to me what a one year old will sometimes do to pull themselves up so they can stand up next to a table or as a toddler is trying to walk across the room it’s like they don’t care what happens, they are just going to try it and they are proud of themselves as they do it. I think it’s the attitude towards life that we are born with, that we get to keep if we aren’t hurt too badly. Sometimes you have to work on hurt to get your birthright back. Resources: Listen: 5 simple tools for meeting your every day parenting challenges Where to find Patty: Hand in Hand Parenting i Instagram l Facebook l Twitter l Youtube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Marcilie Smith Boyle, a certified positive discipline trainer and certified life and leadership coach who teaches positive discipline courses live and online, coaches individuals and groups on transitions and parenting, as well as life coaching and executive leadership coaching. We are discussing the science and research of positive discipline. Join us! “ The tip of the iceberg is what you can see – that’s your child’s behavior, but underneath the surface so much more is going on.” What you’ll hear in this episode: Emerging neuroscientific research about social psychology informed by function MRIs and PET scans. Principles of positive discipline – looking underneath behavior to build skills for long term better behavior. • Adlerian theory, the foundation of positive discipline The connection between behavior and a sense of belonging How mutual respect informs better behavior The right to dignity and the value of solutions relative to rewards and punishments Intrinsic motivation, what it is and why it matters long term. The social nature of humans and how that relates to theories of the hierarchy of needs The link between physical and social pain and the connection between learning and belonging The impact of fight or flight on empathy, learning and problem solving skills Relatedness, competence and autonomy and the way they influence behavior and feed intrinsic motivation The positive outcomes of met psychological needs in relation to health, creativity, persistence, flexibility, adjustment, well-being, enjoyment, cooperation, engagement and interest. Why rewards and praise sometimes backfire: the relationship between contingent rewards, autonomy and behavior Baby steps to deepen your positive parenting practice The difference made when we get eye to eye with our kids For more show notes, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Thank you to everyone who chimed in for this month's Ask Casey episode! I chose this particular submission because I believe it is something that MANY of us are challenged by. Enjoy! From Mama Kay: Defiance. My six year old has recently started saying straight out No's to anything I ask. ANYTHING! I've tried explaining why I ask her to do things and even explain how it benefits her. But it's just no. It's many times in a disrespectful and rude way. I think she is just finding her boundaries and her self confidence but I do not know how to interact with her. I don't want to bulldoze over her feelings or bully her into obedience. But I also don't want her to be disrespectful or be an example of disrespect to her younger siblings. Along with the no is an ability to find something negative about everything. I've had to ask her to go to another room many times because she was affecting her siblings attitude too. I am praying this is a stage but I don't want to break or break her through the process. Tune in to hear my response! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Melissa Brown, a blended family podcaster who works with stepfamilies. We are going to talk about blended families and the challenges they face. Join us! “Raising children is the biggest rollercoaster ride of your life.” What you’ll hear in this episode: The biggest challenge facing blended families today Dealing with drama while protecting kids from triangulation The value of a child-centered approach when navigating difficult relationships with exes The importance of self-awareness, love and patience in creating a positive environment for kids. How to use problem solving tools you use with your kids with your exes to improve relationships Learning to identify what you can’t control and how to deal with that The mixed blessing and additional pressure of sibling rivalry on blended families and how to handle it How to empower your kids for conflict resolution in blended families and learning to stay out of it, resisting the temptation to “fix” things Protecting your relationship from blended family drama Bonding with step kids – particularly teenagers – keeping an open mind. Finding an entry point for building connection Flexibility and scheduling in blended families Routines and rituals – creating a sense of belonging Consistency between houses, managing energy and big feelings. Leveraging patterns in your blended family – approaching problems with curiosity Dealing with (and expecting) setbacks and recovering when things don’t go as planned What does Joyful Courage mean to you? It takes a lot of courage to blend a family – it’s not always an easy journey. Joyful courage to me means understanding the importance of finding joy even through the pain in life. Our biggest growth and our biggest lessons always come from hard times. Where to find Melissa: Blended family podcast l Facebook l Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Ross Greene, an acclaimed author and parenting educator who works with kids with behavioral challenges. We are discussing how collaborative, proactive problem solving can reduce parenting challenges. Join us! “Kids have information we badly need. If we don’t get that information we are at risk of plunging forward with uninformed solutions based on what we think is going on. Our theories and assumptions are often wrong. If you get what’s the matter wrong, your solution won’t work. The least fallible source of information is the kid.” What you’ll hear in this episode: The role of problem solving in managing challenging behaviors Why sticker charts and rationing of privileges doesn’t work for this demographic Making collaborative and proactive solutions work for your family Changing your mission: finding out what is getting in your kid’s way The benefit of a skills based approach – coaching skills improvement through problem solving The difference between control and influence Parenting and education as partnering and helping Collaborative vs unilateral problem solving Prioritizing unmet expectations to plan proactive problem solving Getting out of the heat of the moment in your parenting Three steps to proactive problem solving The need for realistic, mutually satisfying solutions The danger of too many solutions Differentiating between a failure and a solution that wasn’t mutually beneficial, realistic or incomplete The messy but crucial nature of problem solving Perfection vs improvement over time – being realistic about goals Focusing on the right thing: learning to focus on the root cause of behavior vs the behavior itself. What does Joyful Courage mean to you? There is courage that comes along with being a parent, a teacher and a staff member and doing something different because what you are finding is that what you are doing now isn’t working. I’m delighted to say that there are many many parents, educators and facilities who have had that courage and they have been remarkably helpful to their children, their students and the children in their care and that should bring them a great deal of joy as well. It takes courage to take a look at what you are doing, think about it, and try to do something differently. Resources: The explosive child Lost at School Lost and Found Raising Human Beings The Drilling Cheat Sheet The B Team – Facebook Group Elevate Your Parenting – Facebook Group Lost & Found – Facebook Group for Educators Lives in the Balance – Facebook Group for Clinicians Where to find Dr. Greene: Lives In the Balance Facebook Twitter Centre for Collaborative Problem Solving Dr. Ross Greene Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Lauren Gamble of Bibs for Kids. She helps kids struggling with illness, impoverishment and prematurity by selling bibs and donating 10% of proceeds to causes. Her son was born premature and she was inspired to help others after spending time in the NICU with her new baby. Join us in learning about how to give back to kids in need this holiday season (and every day)! What you’ll hear in this episode: • Life in the NICU – the challenges of prematurity with even a healthy baby, infant health challenges, bonding with other parents facing the same circumstances and 12 long days where time seemed to stand still • Causes Bibs For Kids supports: premature birth, pediatric HIV, pediatric cerebral palsy, childhood hunger, childhood cancer, and autism • Prematurity awareness – the selection of this cause was influenced by her own experiences with her son (who is now 4 months old) and the ongoing relationships she’s had with fellow NICU families from their stay • Pediatric cerebral palsy – the family connection to this challenging disease and how her relationship with her cousin and aunt led her to want to give back in this way • Pediatric HIV – the family Lauren knows who adopted an HIV positive child and how their life experiences impacted her decision to support this important cause • Autism – Awareness of early detection and the need for education and intervention are so key to positive outcomes for children living with Autism • Childhood cancer – 720 kids diagnosed every day in America – why research and awareness is so important • Childhood hunger – a cause that’s closer to home than we think and not just an overseas problem • Customer response to Bibs for Kids, donations and partnerships • The holiday season: thankfulness for good health and a reason to give • Ways to help when you don’t have kids who wear bibs or don’t have babies in your life– donate $5 and have a bib sent to a child in need Where to find Lauren: Facebook I Website I Instagram I Twitter I Pinterest ** Check out the Bibs for Kids KICKSTARTER campaign and make a DIRECT IMPACT on this important work!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

DENISE LAROSA is the founder, host and CEO of Mom Talk with Denise LaRosa, LLC, a multimedia platform designed to motivate, inspire and inform mothers along their journey in motherhood. Denise utilizes her parenting experiences and background as an elementary educator to bring mothers invaluable information and resources on parenting through her podcast, blog and workshops. A devoted wife and mother of two precious girls, Denise is also an elementary school teacher. She earned her Bachelor of Arts degree in dance (Magna cum Laude) from Radford University in 2003 and graduated from Carlow University in 2008 with a Master of Education degree in elementary education. Empty Shoes is Denise's first children's book. She plans to write many more for you to enjoy. USE PROMO CODE JOYFULCOURAGE for 20% discount on Denise's book! http://www.momtalkdenise.com/book/Find Denise: http://www.momtalkdenise.com/ Facebook Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Rosalind Wiseman, a mom of boys and political scientist who works with teenagers in a professional capacity through an organization called Cultures of Dignity. We are going to talk about the social lives of teenagers. Join us! “Look for your champion moment and step in.” What you’ll hear in this episode: • The struggle to balance maintaining friendships and handle power imbalances and how that flows into abusive romantic relationships later on • Media depictions of relationships and how they impact teenage perceptions of acceptable and normal behaviors • Impacts of the election cycle on teenage behavior and normalization of racism and bad behavior and the resulting need for parents to promote inclusion • How to promote diversity and equal dignity for all by helping your children recognize the difference between healthy curiosity and put-downs • The importance of coaching your child on how to participate in respectful dialogue and redirecting conversations without reinforcing stigma • How to support teachers in a changing political climate while they deal with teens struggling with uncertainty • The role of education in supporting problem solving and critical thinking • Common roles in teen social groups and the associated challenges of raising: queen bees, side kicks, banker, mastermind, associate, bouncer, entertainer, conscience, champion, victim/target, pleaser, the messenger • Helping your kids practice for their champion moment • Backstabbing and the role of the messenger • How to teach your kids that a disagreement isn’t the end of the relationship • How to use and coach the SEAL formula – how to speak when you are angry • The similarities between conflict in teen relationships and video games battles • The difference between bullying and lack of relationship skills • Giving space and listening to boys during puberty • Relationship repair following insights acquired during parenting education Resources Queen Bees and Wannabes Masterminds and Wingmen Owning Up Where to find Rosalind: Her Website Facebook Twitter Instagram LinkedIn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“Your job as a mom is to build a protective hedge around your family and not let them get stressed out and over-stimulated by all the ten thousand things” • Being the magic makers: doing all the things • Creating happy memories not just of the holidays and of parents for your kids • Christmas cards – do you really need to send them? • Managing expectations – fantasy vs reality • Avoiding resentment • How to design the holiday you want to have – focus on the 3 Ms • What is YOUR mission? Separating that from expectations of others • Minutae –picking activities and details that support your mission • Move it – assess which activities that you can enjoy at another time of the year to focus on your mission • Elf on a Shelf – effectiveness as a behavior modification tool, another thing on your to do list • Giving yourself permission not to do the same things as everyone else – peer pressure • Focusing on the things that bring you joy • Taking the “shoulds” out of the season What does Joyful Courage mean to you? “Courage to me is head down, get it done, life is going to be hard at times and you might doubt yourself or feel other people doubting you and you’re just going to have to go out and do it regardless. But joyful courage to me is a picture of having chin up, smile on your face, and for me, parenting. It takes a lot of courage to take on the responsibility of raising what needs to grow up to be responsible adults and those little lives are in your hands for such a young age. But you can do it scared, or you can do it with joy even in the arguments and even in the hard times, that there’s always joy to be found. If it’s just the sweet relationship you have with each of these people in your family that gives you what you need to go out and do the courageous job of parenting with your chin up, with a smile on your face.” Where to find Luna: Website Facebook Podcast: Confessions Behind the Minivan Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Laurie Hatch, a “radical grandma” with strong ideas and opinions about how children who can be raised. She has eleven kids, 44 grandkids and has worked in education, now consulting and training. We are going to talk about kids... “If I could teach parents one thing it would be: never expect kids to share. Kids do not share until the ages of 4 and 5 when it becomes important to them to have a playmate who stays with them and collaborates” “Sharing is one of the most inappropriate expectations we have in childhood and a huge trigger. We were taught to be nice and share and that if you don’t share you aren’t nice.” “About the time we start to figure out parenting, we are done” What you’ll hear in this episode: • Exploring the language we use to describe behaviors our kids engage in • How separating ourselves from our children’s behavior changes how we describe and perceive it • Sibling rivalry and how we help create it • The role of supervision in mitigating sibling conflict • What is scaffolding and how does it relate to correcting behavior? • Setting reasonable expectations around kid’s ability to self-regulate: improvement vs. mastery • Child development and how that impacts how sibling conflict plays out • Resolving conflict through curiosity • Naturalist observational report: talking to kids about what happened absent of judgment and assumption • Sharing expectations: why and when developmentally kids share and how expecting it can create challenges • Biting and tantrums in context: how language and maturity impact these phases • Backtalk versus advocacy: reframing sassy behavior • Repetitive behaviors: chances to try different approaches to resolve conflict • Nurturing in the heat of conflict: why it helps and how to do it even when it’s hard. • Solutions vs punishments. Focusing on the goal and expected behavior and being permissive aren’t the same thing, resolution doesn’t need to be punitive • Relationship repair and how to recover fromparenting missteps • Spanking – where does it come from and what else can you do in the moment • Post-conflict recaps: encouraging perspective taking and problem solving • The role of family meetings: connecting rather than blaming • Parenting education helps learn about parenting process • Triggers: why do we have them and what they can teach us about ourselves? • Self-care and parenting – how journaling can help • Problem solving without fault What does Joyful Courage mean to you? “Joy is the essence of being centered in truth. Courage is heart. I try to live so my life and heart are centered on the things I know are true. I have limited knowledge so I’m continually looking for that. I draw on my courage so that I can speak out in active ways that are in harmony with what I believe. Joy is not fleeting, it’s not like happiness. Joy is a constant and a choice in life. If you have joy in your heart, you’re able to endure challenges and adversity because you have this constant centered on truth." Where to find Laurie: Website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Sara Yao, a leadership coach who transitioned to self-employment on the birth of her child. While her book doesn’t focus on parenting specifically, the principles are incredibly relevant to parenting. Join us! “It’s about how often you can be present, not how often you can be perfect.” What you’ll hear in this episode: What is a leader and how does it relate to parenting? The value of presence, stability and connectedness relative to skills competency Impacts of going on autopilot on parenting and family relationships The practice of pausing to break autopilot Reactive tendencies (complying, detaching, and controlling) - what they are and how they develop The way presence and mindfulness create choice in parenting Modeling - how we pass on our reactive tendencies to our kids How to take a “presence first” approach to parenting to overcome our own reactive tendencies Cultivating presence – how to become more mindful “Survival fear,” sleep deprivation and hormones and the impact of an adrenalized state on our parenting How to start small to create more awareness more often to build a habit of mindfulness. Mindfulness, perfectionism and self-compassion: recognizing increased presence shouldn’t create an expectation of perfection Tuning into body sensation to be present and noticing Breathing techniques – “box breathing” to calm you down when your nervous system is riled up What does Joyful Courage mean to you? “I have such deep respect for myself and for others when they are just willing to examine and question – when they do, the liberation that comes from moving out of a pattern or coming to and waking up, that to me is the epitome of joyful courage. Have the courage to look, feel free and at choice again.” Resources: Her book, “Drop in: Leading with deeper presence and courage” Her book, Get Present Where to find Sara: Facebook l Twitter l Her website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This month's Ask Casey episode digs into how to engage our children in conversations about behavior and emotions when they are reluctant to meet us in the conversation... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Nicole Schwarz, from Imperfect Families. She’s a mom of 3 girls, a parenting coach and child and family therapist who focuses on helping parents use positive, respectful strategies with their kids. Today we are talking about sibling conflict. The questions we are discussing come straight from the community - join us! What you’ll hear in this episode: • How to keep sibling conflict to a dull roar with a relationship focus in your parenting • Balancing the desire to step in with giving space for them to work it out for themselves • “Say what you see” approach to conflict resolution by describing it • Role of modeling and coaching for creative solutions • Deescalating techniques to resolve conflict • Understanding the role of neurological development on decision making in conflict • Having empathy for a sense of injustice and encouraging empathy in your kids • Teaching kids that “people get what they need” and how that might be different and lead to perceived inequity • Understanding impulse control limitations and flooding and how it leads to physical acting out • Using proactive practice and play based knowledge to avoid future conflict • How to focus on what led to acting out to avoid shaming while encouraging learning • Exercising compassion around evolving nature of self-regulation • Understanding jealous and resentment around new babies and the needs of other siblings • Introducing the concept of mixed feelings to kids who are too young to have that insight for themselves • Coaching around sharing toys and how to place limits on it – sharing power, soliciting and implementing solutions from your kids • Improving connection to reduce rivalry – using one-on-one time to address your child’s jealousy • The value of shifting focus from our kid’s behavior to our own behavior – recognizing it’s the only thing we can control • Contextualizing power struggles as kids trying to navigate their world • Reframing “bossy” behavior in a positive way and channeling it for good • Changing how we see tattling • The value of redo’s and self care Resources: Brain in the Palm for Kids video Siblings without Rivalry by Adele Faber Peaceful Parents Happy Siblings: How To Stop the Fighting and Raise Friends For Life by Dr. Laura Markham Where to find Nicole: Facebook l Twitter I Her website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Sheri Gazitt, founder of a company called “Teen Wise” which focuses on teen issues like bullying, perfectionism, stress and friendship issues. She’s a mom of 3 girls in their teens. Join us! What you’ll hear in this episode: Navigating your teen’s confusion and search for identity The “trying on” process teens go through as they evaluate the pieces that form their identity and how to support it The impact of stress, peer pressure and expectations on families Definitions of success and challenges when they don’t align How to support your daughters through their exploration of true self The evolving nature of the “true self” Moving our coaching from “Be yourself” to “Figure out who yourself is” and why it’s necessary Role modeling values but recognizing your teen may not share your values. How not to take your teen’s behavior personally The importance of healthy adult relationships How to maintain a relationship when your teen is pulling away What girls say they need from parents Navigating conversations when your child’s confidences reveal a need for outside interventions The value of leaving space for teens to have emotions Wardrobe and helping our teens navigate a sexualized climate How to keep your parenting goals in sight when navigating challenging behaviors The power of forgiveness What does Joyful Courage mean to you? “It gives me very positive vibes. It means we are happy with ourselves about what challenges we take on and parenting is definitely one of those challenges. It means to be happy and joyful even if we make mistakes, if we fail at something horribly, just to be joyful about the fact that we have that challenge in front of us and we are willing to take it on and give it our all." Resources: Reviving Ophelia Where to find Sheri: Her website l Facebook l Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

So happy to have the founders of Sproutable.com on the show today!! Alanna Beebe and Julietta Skoog are on a MISSION to be super helpful and supportive of parents raising kids under five. They are on the show to share their offer and what inspires them to work with families. Enjoy! Resources: www.besproutable.com Facebook l Twitter l Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Tosha Schore, known online as “Your Partner in Parenting Boys” and a mom of 3 boys. She partners with parents to help their boys thrive – teaching parents to practice self care, connect with their boys deeply to encourage open communication, coaching them to set limits in a loving way and to use play strategically in their parenting. Join us! “My mission is to make a more peaceful world, one sweet boy at a time.” “Parenting is difficult because to do it well you must look inside yourself; you need to know what makes you sore and what really pushes your buttons. Looking at oneself, really looking inside is a challenge, the thing is, the consequence of not looking at oneself is even worse.” “If we want to guide our children well, we have to first look at our own stories.” What you’ll hear in this episode: The value of getting ourselves into “good parenting shape” and listening to each other non-judgmentally to ease frustration The importance of boys being able to feel their feelings and avoid the “boiling pot” – embracing the body’s natural way to heal from our hurts What keeps parents from feeling like it’s ok for their boys to feel their feelings? Learning to be unattached to your child’s reactions to limits The impact of isolation on the parenting experience Stereotypes of masculinity and how they impact emotional intimacy How to transition your boys from exhibiting aggressive behaviors to being more calm and increasing accountability by reducing fear The importance of not losing sight of your boy’s goodness despite poor behavior Working towards discipline from a place of connection The value of being curious about what’s underneath anger How to parenting in a way that honors the developing brain Addressing off-track behaviors through connection and taking a proactive approach Helping kids handle the pressure to save face Techniques to address separation anxiety How to set healthy limits in a loving way while creating safe spaces for exploration Supporting boys through loudness and recognizing it for what it is What does Joyful Courage mean to you? “Working in this life for what you feel is important – being you. Courage means being me and supporting my children and the people I know to be them fully. There’s nothing more joyful than being real and full and who you are and the gift you have to give.” Resources: Positive Discipline – Jane Nelsen Listen – 5 simple tools to meet your everyday parenting challenges – Tosha Schore & Patty Wipfler Where to find Tosha: FacebookTwitterHer website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Eric Greene, a father, husband and children’s rights activist. His work through his website, his Facebook group and private consultations focuses on peaceful parenting. As a father of one, his son has inspired him to explore parenting approaches that honor his desire to be the best parent he can be. His goal is to help improve the lives of children by helping parents learn better ways of raising children. Join us! “Peaceful parenting is not permissive, it’s setting limits and boundaries in a peaceful way.” What you’ll hear in this episode: What is peaceful parenting? How applicable is peaceful parenting to parents of more than one child? What does “Growing the pause” mean and how do you do it? Peaceful parenting as a practice and the need for repetition Recognizing peaceful parenting doesn’t change that kids are still kids The role of mindfulness in peaceful parenting How to be firm and still parent peacefully Building resiliency in your kids Mindset shifts in peaceful parenting – moving from trying to control your kids’ behavior to trying to control what’s going on within yourself The difference between peaceful and permissive parenting Practicing no buts” empathy Peaceful “parenting practices The value of “hugging it out” to find a solution Looking for opportunities to share power Common struggles among parents trying to parent peacefully Traditional gender roles and peaceful parenting Supporting your co-parent to parent peacefully The importance of self-care and self-compassion in peaceful parenting How to take baby steps to positive parenting What does Joyful Courage mean to you? “The courage to be joyful. Brene Brown talked about how the most vulnerable state you can be in is joy.That takes courage. It takes courage to be joyful.” Resources: The Intentional Parent ProjectPositive Discipline – Jane Nelsen Where to find Eric: His websiteFacebookTwitterPeaceful Parenting Community Facebook group Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Joanne Foster, an educational consultant and author of several parenting and educational books. Her work focuses on supporting and encouraging children’s well-being, intelligence, creativity, self-confidence, and productivity. As a mother of two and grandmother of three, she has over 30 years’ experience working with gifted children. She recently wrote an article about the lure of extracurricular activities. It’s a topic that every family has to face and deal with in their own way. Join us! What you’ll hear in this episode: Why extracurricular activities should complement what they’re learning in school Opportunities and demand How much choice should you give your children? The perceived pressure that parents feel regarding extracurricular activities Too much vs. too little Should you ever let a child QUIT an activity? Helping a child pick and choose activities Examples of extracurricular options that DON’T have to be stressful Advice for parents about setting boundaries Why kids need help in developing accountability for decisions ​What does Joyful Courage mean to you? “For me, it means using my intelligence, drawing on past experiences, acquiring supports when needed, harnessing my creativity, and having faith in my ability to confront changes and challenges.” Resources: www.beyondintelligence.net. Being Smart about Gifted Education by Dona Matthews and Joanne Foster Beyond Intelligence by Dona Matthews and Joanne Foster Not Now, Maybe Later: Helping Kids Overcome Procrastination by Joanne Foster And an article that Joanne was inspired to write after our interview: Too Invested in Your Child's Activities and Performance Where to find Joanne: Her website Facebook Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Welcome! My guest today is Lori Petro, an advocate for children and families. Lori is a conscious parent educator and a mom to a young daughter. Our discussion today is around raising caring and sensitive children. Join us! What you’ll hear in this episode: Why a “conscious” parent educator? 13 Principles of Conscious Parenting (from Alfie Kohn) Behavior and Motives: Look UNDER the surface How we make kids be reactive The connection with our child is THE most important thing Children with unusual sensitivities Three areas to understand sensitive children: relationships, stress, and skills Explosive behavior and self-regulation Peace and mindfulness Noisy environments can be overwhelming Skill building Fixing stuff in my life Looking for signals What are they trying to tell me? Be who you are right now Resources: www.teachthroughlove.com TEACH through Love Facebook Page The Conscious Parent by Shefali Tsabary Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to an amazing show with Amy McCready, back again for another conversation! Amy is the founder of Positive Parenting Solutions, which provides online training for parents of toddlers to teens. She was with us in Episode 10 when we discussed the Me, Me, Me Epidemic. Amy is the mother of two college-aged kids and is the author of If I Have to Tell You One More Time and The Me, Me, Me Epidemic. We’re talking about money, and how to encourage and empower kids in their sense of money. Join us! What you’ll hear in this episode: Most of us don’t have much training in money management! Four systems of money management and the problems with each: Money as needed Money as reward Money as payment No strings attached allowance The benefits to the “no strings attached” allowance Suggestions for allowances and kids’ finances Realistic budgeting for kids’ expenditures Tools to use to get kids to contribute around the house The difference in a chore and a contribution “When-Then” statements Family meetings: brainstorming solutions Loans and credit scores---for kids! Resources: www.positiveparentingsolutions.com Find Amy on Facebook, too! If I Have to Tell You One More Time by Amy McCready The Me, Me, Me Epidemic by Amy McCready Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What an honor to get to share the conversation I had with Grant Gibbs, the executive director of The Hippo Roller Water Project. From the website: "Designed in Africa for tough rural conditions, the durable Hippo Roller makes it extremely easy to collect up to 5x more water than a single bucket, by simply rolling it along the ground." Listen to the conversation, click the links below and find out how YOU can be a supporter of this important work. Where to find Hippo Roller: www.hipporoller.org l Facebook l Twitter Join the cause! Joyful Courage is joining the Hippo Roller team in their effort towards bringing 200 Hippo Rollers to Haiti. You can help too!! Head over to www.hipporoller.org/haiti Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome! I’m excited to introduce you to my guest today! Sandy Blackard is an award-winning author and parenting coach. As the mother of two grown daughters, Sandy reached a frantic point in her own parenting challenges that led to the passion she has for helping parents acquire tools and tips that bring SUCCESS! She’s here to share her wisdom with us, so join us! What you’ll hear in this episode: How “play therapy” set Sandy on her course What does “Say what you see” really mean? Listening, interacting, and retraining how you see the world Name that strength Acknowledgement vs. Praise The transformation of a rule-breaker Powerlessness vs. perceived helplessness A child’s three basic needs: experience, connection, and power How to negotiate power struggles How to handle whining Downstairs and Upstairs Brain Modeling authenticity Aligning the child in their greatness What does “joyful courage” mean to you? “Courage comes when I’m facing a challenge. It’s a reminder of what’s waiting on the other side of the challenge.” Resources: www.languageoflistening.com Say What You See by Sandy Blackard Find Sandy on Facebook and Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome! My guest today is Nicole Schwarz, who joined me for Episode 39 about helping kids deal with negative self-talk. She is a parent coach, child and family therapist, and the founder of Imperfect Families. All of us parents are in some phase of that back-to-school transition time, so let’s hear Nicole’s thoughts on this subject! What you’ll hear in this episode: The nighttime routine: getting in the mindset of an earlier bedtime Essential family routines for back-to-school The power of shifting from “but” to “and” Urgency is contagious The importance of daily jobs for kids Why kids NEED to make their own lunch Homework: how parents can be supportive and available How to support rather than shame “The bad-kid cycle” How to stick with your kids through emotional blow-ups Why you can’t assume the problem OR the solution Resources: www.imperfectfamilies.com Find Nicole on Facebook (Imperfect Families), on Pinterest (Nicole Schwarz), and on Twitter (NicoleForFamilies) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week I am going a bit rouge and spending time talking about this whole "Intentional Parenting" thing I am throwing around all over town... I share thoughts and feedback from parents who dug deep in the #JoyfulCourage10 program and speak into the very human need for connection and meaning. Intentional parenting is about us, friends. It is about us managing our own baggage to show up better for our kids. Listen in and let me know if you have any questions! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome! My guest for today’s show is a friend of mine and a fellow Positive Discipline parent educator. Kelly Pfeiffer lives in South Carolina and has raised four kids in a blended family situation. After a divorce, she remarried a man with two children, which blended their family with kids of ages 15, 15, 13, and 12. Those children are now young adults, and Kelly has been a parent educator for the last 16 years. Today’s topics include positive discipline parenting tools, focusing on our discussion of “special time,” a way to guarantee one-on-one time with each child to maintain the vital parent-child connection. Join us! What you’ll hear in this episode: How Kelly was introduced to Positive Discipline: “Why do parents not know this?” Why having tools and a formula doesn’t guarantee an easy parenting road Variables in blending families The Special Time tool: how to present it to parents A magical connection between parent and child Kelly’s advice for Special Time: Plan it and put it on the calendar As much as possible, let it be child-led Incorporate non-competitive games Use bike rides, picnics, and other outdoor activities Limit distractions (Put away your cell phone!) Use bedtime routines Take advantage of time with a younger child when an older one has an activity Take advantage of time with an older child when a younger one needs to nap Have an older child help with dinner preparation How connection helps diffuse power struggles Tools to repair and recover from hurts Why parents need to say “I’m sorry” Don’t give up when a teen is resistant Ideas for saving Special Time money What does Joyful Courage mean to you? “Being courageous, feeling the fear, and doing it anyway---with JOY!” Resources: www.thinkitthroughparenting.com Find Kelly on Facebook and Twitter (@posdisparenting) Become a Positive Discipline Parent Educator at Kelly’s 2-day workshop in Greenville, SC, in October Email newsletter: Find out more and sign up for these parenting tools on Kelly’s website! Positive Discipline by Jane Nelson, Ed.D. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Sharon Ballantine! With 3 children to parent, she turned to books for help with parenting, but she never had the time to read and process the information in the books. So, with no other options available to her, she decided to rely on her own intuition and her own Internal Guidance System for parenting. She began using this technique and the law of attraction to manifest exactly what she wanted as a parent. In this episode, Sharon shares exactly how she made it all happen! Join us! Sharon Ballantine is a Parenting and Life Coach and Founder of the Ballantine Parenting Institute. Her book, The Art of Blissful Parenting, guides parents with practical as well as spiritual advice in raising their children. It also guides parents on how to get into alignment, discover and use their own IGS before they can teach their children. In this episode Sharon also discusses: How to find answers within yourself You have an internal guidance system that begins with your feelings Why leaving the room can help you get “in alignment” to parent Physical movement can be a tool to help bring you into a centered place of alignment Changing the subject that is causing stress and bad energy can cause a shift in energy The teenage years are the years of “personal discovery” Parents spend the teen years in fear mode and resort to using control Whoever a teenager is today is not their final destination. Be patient; they will change. Why we want to avoid making our children feel bad at all costs Staying centered will give you the coping skills to deal with any kind of crazy you have to deal with “This too shall pass” - it is true especially for teens Ways to deal with teen behavior that is harmful Focusing on the future and consequences of actions can allow a teen to take responsibility and look at the big picture How to support your child’s development of their Internal Guidance System Ways her failures as a parent contributed to finding her Internal Guidance System What joyful courage means to her and how it contributes to bliss Resources Mentioned on the Show: The Secret - Rhonda Byrne The Art of Blissful Parenting - Sharon Ballantine Connect with Sharon: Website - sharonballantine.com Facebook/sharonballantine Twitter/LifeCoachSB Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to an inspiring episode with my friend, Beth Caldwell. Beth is a mom of two, a former civil rights lawyer, and a blogger who lives in Seattle. In 2014, at age 37, Beth found a lump during a breast self-exam, which turned out to be metastatic cancer already in her bones. You’ll appreciate Beth’s genuine honesty about our topic today: as parents of young children, how do we deal with illness, trauma, death, and loss? What do we tell them? How much is TOO MUCH for them to handle? You don’t want to miss this conversation, so join us! What you’ll hear in this episode: Beth’s cancer journey from finding the lump until now The feedback from Beth’s frank and open blog: 99% positive Currently, her cancer is in her brain, right arm, and liver New breakthroughs with new drugs The worst part of chemo? Fatigue How to talk to kids with age appropriate language about cancer Don’t hide the truth: share what’s important for them to know Her son’s recent speech about advocacy for better research How to be open and create a safe space for their questions Be mindful: don’t live in fear and trauma Why Beth insists on “planning ahead” How cancer affects your spouse What does “joyful courage” mean to Beth? “Courage is not an absence of fear; it’s being afraid and doing it anyway.” Resources: www.cultofperfectmotherhood.com "The Cat is Out of the Bag" Beth's son finds out she will die of her cancer www.metup.org The Cancer that Wouldn’t Go Away by Hadassa Field I Still Just Want to Pee Alone (series by Jen Mann and others, including Beth!) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jo Langford is a therapist and sex educator from Seattle, WA. Our conversation today will cover porn, social media ediquette, and sexting (yikes!). In a culture that is becoming ever more sexualized, how do we keep our kids safe and smart about what is out there? Joe and I have a very candid conversation about conversations to have with our children, while still maintaining relationship and family values. Highlights: Jo has two kids, a middle schooler and an almost middle schooler. He is living his work! He’s been changing the world and making it better since high school. Joe trains parents, teachers and staff of organizations such as the YMCA and the Boys and Girls Club. Harder for kids to NOT see porn, than it is to be ABLE to see it. Families are getting in touch with Joe because their 10-16 year old is looking at a lot of porn parents talk about it and child continues to engage in it. What conversations you can have with your kids when they are noticing all of the opportunities to see/look at porn. When you see porn you can never “un-see” it. Instead of “how do I keep my child from being exposed to porn?” today, we need to be asking, “how do I handle it when my child sees porn?” – this is the reality based on statistic Open conversations are key… Keep them talking, by practicing your neutral face and manage your own stuff when they come to you to have tough conversations. The message becomes “I can handle what you bring me, no matter what.” What happens in the brain? Kicks up the pleasure centers, big hit of dopamine… If they continue to watch, the brain gets desensitized and wants to get to the next level. Talk to kids about building boundaries around tech. Encourage them to have real relationships, how to unplug, how to manage friends/people who sext. Rules/guidelines around where the phone/screen lives at night… Don’t wait until you NEED the guidelines – put them into place now. “Monitoring” software that Joe recommends – builds muscles of restraint and self control when kids have some access while also knowing that parents will see where they go – “we are trying to raise good grown ups” Qustidio – controlled through wifi – put the browser on kids devices. Controls, time limits, helpful. Disney’s Circle – easy to use, hooks up to wifi, all devices get put into categories (grown ups, teens, kids) and put time limits on use, also over 3G. AWESOME! Best strategy is to put most of the ownership and responsibility on the kids. “Not about me trusting you, it’s about you showing that you are trustworthy.” Making agreements together is key to our kids follow through. The internet is forever! You leave a trail…. Grown ups are the models of what is appropriate/inappropriate – be good role models! Roll out the SM access, rather than giving kids full access from the beginning. Let them flex and develop their muscles. Get on the apps they want to use with them, let them teach you, normalize communicating with each other through this media. How do we help our kids deal with sexting? Statistically 20% - 30% of teens send pics, doubles when it is only “words” Girls sometimes start the behavior because they know the boys will respond. Joe advises the boys to respond with “this isn’t something you need to do… here are three things I like about you besides your boobs” – our girls are getting the wrong message about how to connect/get attention. Kids have less hangups about sex and seem to be more comfortable with their bodies, but there is an abyss they can tumble into – we want them to be more discerning and thoughtful about who they share that with. Developing a discerning mind… All about practice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome! My guest today is Debbie Reber, the founder of TiLT Parenting, an online destination and podcast. The website was the result of parenting a “differently-wired” child with neurological differences. She found it hard to find information and support for the challenges that parents face when ADHD, autism, and dyslexia are the diagnoses. Her family moved from Seattle to Amsterdam three years ago, where she homeschools Asher today. Debbie’s desire was to create a community and a podcast to give parental support and to help kids feel accepted, understood, and heard. Let’s learn more together! What you’ll hear in this episode: Preschool experiences: disruptive behavior and meltdowns Year-by- year education plan Assumptions that others make about ADHD & ODD Challenges of living in Amsterdam The Tilt Parenting Manifesto, based on true acceptance Atypical kids are everywhere—at least 20% of the population Why we don’t need the Shroud of Secrecy Ten Tilts to Shift the Game Amazing response from other parents The Vision? Shifting the whole parenting paradigm When options are limited for “normal” activities, like camp When normal strategies don’t work The benchmark mentality—usually by age 6 Using resources Become fluent in your child’s language The problem-solving approach, and tweaking and tweaking and tweaking Joy in the growth of the child Self-care for parents is important! Asher joins in on the podcast for special episodes! What does “joyful courage” mean to you? “Having peace and joy is something I want parents to have in their experience. It takes a lot of courage to show up and be vulnerable in your relationship with your child and to lean into it. Embrace what is and notice the little things that bring peace and happiness.” Resources: www.tiltparenting.com Connect on Debbie’s Facebook group also! The Gift of Failure by Jessica Lahey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Rebecca Michi, a children’s sleep consultant and mother of two daughters. In her work with families over the years, Rebecca found that sleep issues were a common problem. This realization led her to specialize on the subject and offer coaching help to many parents. I’m thrilled to get her insights into this issue—and( let’s be truthful),haven’t we all had some pull-our-hair-out moments? Whether you’re a brand new parent or the parent of teens, Rebecca has great tips to share. Join us! What you’ll hear in this episode: Temperaments and sleep patterns are unique to each person. Rebecca’s average client is 8 months old! Most children need help falling asleep and STAYING asleep. Her philosophy? Support parents in their parenting style Unique family dynamics Sleep: Why it’s a very basic need Sleeping “through the night” is usually defined as 5 consecutive hours AFTER midnight. “Good sleeper” or “bad sleeper” At bedtime, focus on relaxation and physically slowing down. Other bedtime routines can be singing songs, reading books, and quiet play. Negotiables and non-negotiables about bedtime Giving children SOME choices gives them healthy empowerment. Teens’ sleep patterns change (but they STILL need 8-9 hours!) Limit evening electronics and bright lights (use incandescent bulbs) Rebecca shares the guidelines for number of sleep hours needed, from ages 0-3 months to 13 years. It’s normal to wake 2-6 times each night. The goal for your child? The ability to get themselves back to sleep when waking Don’t make sleep or the bedroom a means of punishment! What does Joyful Courage mean to you? “It means going forward on your parenting journey, even when it’s unknown, and trying to enjoy it! Look at it in a positive way.” For more information visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I am THRILLED to have my friend, mentor and CO-CONSPIRATOR on the show today to talk about being women, mamas, and our middle school girl's workshop, GLAM CAMP 2016! Krista Petty Raimer is the founder of Boldly Embody Life and a beacon of lite and transformation to all who have the pleasure of crossing paths with her. Take a little time to listen in and hear what we are up to and consider what it means to be a caretaker of the daughter you have... :) Check out GLAM CAMP here!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome! My guest today is Sarah MacLaughlin, a compassion coach, child behavior decoder, parent educator, author, speaker, and warrior for kindness. Sounds like a busy woman, doesn’t she? There is more! She is also the mother of an eight-year-old and is a licensed social worker in Maine. Sarah was a guest for Episode 30, when she discussed Setting Limits. I’m so excited to have her back to help us make sense out of some of the troubling current events in our country. How do we raise our kids to treat ALL people with dignity and respect in the midst of a predominantly white culture? How are we raising our kids to make a better world? Join us for this important and timely conversation. What you’ll hear in this episode: The responsibility of parents today Stop talking and LISTEN! Making it all make sense to kids Implicit bias: What is it? Being rich vs. being wealthy Why we fear discomfort Our hierarchal society (it exists) Finding opportunities for diversity What’s NORMAL? The anti-bias classroom Why we can’t ignore US history Why being “colorblind” is NOT the answer Kids—they are ALWAYS watching! How to confront others and express your discomfort Is your home “whitewashed”? Resources: www.sarahmaclaughlin.com Use Sarah’s name to find her on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram. Love First: Parenting to Reduce Racism, Sexism, Homophobia and Other Forms of Hate, by Sarah MacLaughlin Laying the Groundwork for Acceptance and Inclusion, by Sarah MacLaughlin Talking to my White Child About Race, by Sarah MacLaughlin 40 Ways to Raise a Nonracist Child, by Barbara Mathias EDITORIAL: What I Said When My White Friend Asked For My black Opinion on White Privilege, by Lori Lakin Hutcherson Thoughts From A Middle Class White Mama, by Casey O'Roarty White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack by Peggy McIntosh Another Round podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome! My guest for today’s show is Tracy Cutchlow, the author of Zero to Five: 70 Essential Parenting Tips Based on Science (and What I’ve Learned So Far). The book fulfills Tracy’s passion to help new parents with information and support as they embark on the parenthood journey. Tracy also writes a blog and articles for the Washington Post and Huffington Post. Tracy and her husband, Luke, live in Seattle, where they enjoy life with their four-year- old daughter, Geneva. Unbelievably, Tracy wrote her book during the first 18 months of Geneva’s life! We’ll talk about the tools and wisdom in her book and the topic of helping our youngest children develop a growth mindset. Join us! What you’ll hear in this episode: The unusual format in her book that makes it helpful for busy, new parents Development challenges of very young children “How many times do I have to tell you?” Why children follow their desires (even when they don’t follow OUR desires) Our expectations vs. normal development Why parenting education should be included in well-child visits to the pediatrician Behaviors: Why they meet the child’s innate needs of experience, power, and connection Why children seek connection, but will settle for attention Look at their behavior through the lens of their needs. Growth mindset: What is it? Acknowledgement vs. praise: What’s the difference? How empathy fits naturally into the growth mindset What it takes is small tweaks in our language Why our kids NEED to make mistakes The power of teaching kids about their brains What does Joyful Courage mean to you? “It means taking action, but having a lightness and a playfulness—looking for the good instead of the bad.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Excited to dig into sibling rivalry today on the Ask Casey episode!! A listener wrote in: My kids - particularly my 8 and 9 yo - feel like they have to compete with each other all the time. Every time one does something/gets something different from the other, they tend to mention to the other almost like a taunt. I think on one hand they want their sibling to be happy for them (like mom or dad would be), and on the other hand, I think they want to show how much more special they are. Even if it is innocent, the other kid will still take it as a put down as if it's expected and react with shock, become grudgingly upset, and whining. It is so annoying and constant. It even goes so far as every question I ask has to be directed at one individual bc they will get upset over who answers first. They will even just smile in a nonverbal taunting sort of way to get the other one upset. This happens anytime of day from when they first get up to evening. It happens at home, in the car, in the store. They don't usually do it if there are other kids their age or a little older around - I think bc they get embarrassed. I've seen them snap out of it instantly. It seems to happen less at bedtime maybe because of routine and parent led family time? When it happens my physical response is to get tense in my face and jaw, my breath gets short, and then I feel tension in my shoulders. Emotionally, I start to feel exasperated. Yes, this is all probably normal on some level and we are working deliberately to include special/individual child led time with each kid. Bugs and wishes has helped bc they feel like others hear them and respect them more. Just looking for the next step to take it to the next level. We don't want to foster competition in our family we value working together and supporting one another. I want them to be able to be happy for their sibling without feeling less. I feel like just writing this out is helping form some ideas to try, but I would love to hear yours as I'm sure mine are not the only kids who tend to do this. (I was fiercely and painfully competitive with my sister growing up). Resources for parenting siblings: Positive Discipline by Jane Nelsen Siblings Without Rivalry by Faber and Mazlish Peaceful Parent, Happy Sibling by Dr. Laura Markham Eps 37: Dr. Laura Markham on holding space for siblings to get along:::::::::: Listeners!!! Chime in!! What are your tips/thoughts/experiences around sibling rivalry?? Join the conversation on the live and love with joyful courage page If you have questions for an Ask Casey episode, fill out the form and send it my way!! :::::::::: THANK YOU!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Kate Orson is on the podcast today, and I absolutely love where our conversation went!! Kate's bio from her website: KAte is a Hand in Hand parenting instructor, and author of Tears Heal: How To Listen To Children. Originally from the UK she now live in Basel, Switzerland, with her husband, author Toni Davidson, and our four year old daughter Ruby. Kate has written articles for a number of different parenting magazines including The Green Parent, Juno and Smallish. Kate offer parenting workshops, consultations, both online via skype or in person. I reached out to Kate to talk about getting children's cooperation around chores. In talking to her, and learning more about the Hand In Hand parenting approach, our conversation lead us down the road to understanding how intentional listening and presence with children can invite the very cooperation we are looking for. Kate wrote an article titled 25 Tips for Having Fun While Cleaning Up Here is the Montessori list of age appropriate chores ((super helpful!)) Things to remember when we are hoping for cooperation: set limits lightness play show faith and trust your child's ability listen practice special time More about "stay listening" :::::::::: Where to find Kate: website i facebook i twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome! Today’s episode features TWO guests, Amy Lang and Dr. Jen O’Ryan. Amy is a sexuality educator who helps parents have conversations with kids about healthy sexuality; she previously joined us for Episodes 8 and 33. Jen holds a PhD in human behavior and specifically works with children and adolescents in gender minorities, especially LGBTQ kids. She joined us for Episode 35. These conversations were prompted by the important talking points which emerged from two recent news stories: the Stanford rape case and the Orlando nightclub shooting. Join us for these important conversations! What you’ll hear in this episode: From Amy: The Stanford case boils down to consent: How do we help our kids be smarter than that? Bad decisions and entitlement: a dangerous mix Teach kids about consent: Use the words permission, asking and giving, and agreement. When everyone is “out of their heads,” there is NO CONSENT! Yes means YES. No means NO. Stop means STOP! With young kids, respect their right to say no to unwanted hugs/kisses; as adults, ASK for a hug/kiss. How to use transition phrases to awkward moments “Tricky people” Be explicit with kids about family rules. Plant seeds about sexuality conversations. Teach them NOT to expect entitlement. Amy’s book about dating, to help kids figure out their dating values (See Resources below) Why we need to model conflict resolution for our kids “Yes” girls and red flags in dating—Are you ready for sex? Be open, available, and neutral for your kids. From Jen: With news of any tragedy, it’s better to give kids small pieces of information that they can process rather than overwhelm them with ALL the details. How to “check in” with your LGBTQ kids Jen’s experience in London this week with a drag queen show paying tribute to the Orlando victims Adults have communities and support systems in place, but most kids don’t. The human element of these victims: brother, sisters, sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, etc. Social change is a product of humanization. The verbage to use? LGBTQ, queer, etc. Remember that kids process information at different speeds than adults. Have conversations with kids about safety, dangers, reassurance, and empowerment. The best response is always unity and solidarity. With 5-7 year olds: listen and watch how they play, and make space for them to express feelings. With older kids: create safe spaces for them to talk, and check for signs of depression or social withdrawal. It’s OK to talk about it! Resources: Dating Smarts: What Every Teen Needs to Know to Date, Relate, or Wait by Amy Lang www.birdsandbeesandkids.com www.birdsandbeescourse.com (Amy’s new online course for parents!) www.savvyparentssafekids.com Tea Consent video (on youtube!) www.mykidcameout.com (Jen’s website with resources, blog, and email info. Find her on Facebook, too!) Healthy Sex Talk: Teaching Kids Consent, ages 1-21 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

So happy to welcome Maria Dismondy to the show for my June BONUS episode!! Maria is an award winning author and has written many books for children that engage and inspire them to consider the skills needed to be a good friend and problem solver. She spent time in the classroom before having her own children, and uses her time in schools to inform what she writes about in her books. :::::::::: Maria's books: The Littlest Linebacker - A Story of Determination Chocolate Milk Por Favor - Celebrating Diversity with Empathy Spoonful of Sweetness - and Other Delicious Manners Pink Tiara Cookies for ThreeSpaghetti in a Hot Dog Bun - Having the Courage to be Who You Are The Juice Box Bully - Empowering Kids to Stand Up for Others The Potato Chip Champ - Discovering Why Kindness Counts :::::::::: Find Maria on You TubeFollow her on InstagramCheck out her websiteConversation starters from Pinterest Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome! My guest today is a dear friend, Julietta Skoog, who is a positive discipline trainer. She joined us as a guest on Episode 4 about Family Meetings. It’s hard to believe that we’re here at Episode 48 now! I’m so thrilled to have Julietta back again so that we can all benefit from her wealth of parenting knowledge. She teaches many classes and workshops for parents, in addition to being a school counselor and psychologist in Seattle, where she works with hundreds of students. Her most important parenting work, however, is at home with her children, ages 4 and 7. Today’s topic is all about Toddlers—raising them and dealing with those around us who might not agree with our parenting methods. Join us! What you’ll hear in this episode: Toddlers are biologically driven to explore the world through visual learning and touch. We need to find a way to bridge between our world and their world. They need to know that you hear them and understand them. Connect with them, see them, and hear them. With 2-3 year olds, redirection and distraction can be effective tools to move them on to what they need to do next. What it means to “get them to the second location” With older toddlers, use curiosity questions and give them a wait time. With younger toddlers, limit their choices to ones that you’re ok with. Mutual respect is essential—even with toddlers! Help them get excited about the next step with PLAY. Use deep firmness and structure. How should we handle destructive behaviors? Speak consistently Model connection and firmness Supervise! Model and help them learn empathy Transitions cause anxiety for kids, so do your prevention work! In dealing with others’ opinions, remember that we’re all challenged as parents; we’re all doing the best we can with the tools we have. Resources: www.besproutable.com (Julietta has video examples and other parenting resources.) Julietta's website l Facebook Join the Joyful Courage Facebook group: Live and Love with Courage. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome! My guest today is Kris Prochaska, a former therapist who uses her intuition, diagnostic skills, and ability to read people’s energy. Her desire is to coach women in how to embody sacred leadership at home and at work to listen and live according to their inner voice. Kris was a 2015 TEDxBend speaker and is the author of Life Well Spoken: Free Your Inner Voice and Prosper. She is a busy mom to Anja, 7, and Eli, 11, and is happily married to—and still in love with—her hubby, Mike. What you’ll hear in this episode: Kris began her career journey as a therapist, but tired of focusing on what’s “wrong.” She wanted to discover what’s “right”! Kris approaches her coaching sessions under the premise that the client really does know best. Kris discusses her TED talk experience and the responses she received to her topic: Why don’t we see our kids as equals? Kris shares the irony in her TED talk in that she was not in alignment with her natural energy and truth. The goal in parenting is NOT to control our kids, but to teach them to use their tools to become their very best. Our kids are equally deserving of dignity and respect, but that doesn’t mean there are no limits or boundaries. The parenting attitude should be, “What’s in the highest and best good for our family in the long term?” We should listen to the voice of our kids and let them be a part of decision-making. We’re afraid if we teach them to listen to themselves that they will run rampant. The “little voices,”—do YOU hear them? They seek to make you look good, stay safe, and fit in-- -no matter what. How do you tell the difference between your “little voices” and your intuition? The “little voices” will make you feel small, constricted, and pressured. Your true inner voice is expansive, calm, and peaceful. Your energy shift can affect those around you. What does Joyful Courage mean to you? “When we have the courage to step into that inner voice place and what we know, it takes courage to do that over and over again. The returns are infinite. That’s the blessing we give to the world.” Resources: www.krisprochaska.com Find her on Facebook and Instagram: MessyMysticMama. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Here is what I got from a listener: Hey lady! As I said in my post, Sheane (my teacher ;)) is really volatile right now, and so much of what she's saying is full of disrespect and sass. Oh, and often high volume. It's driving me nuts. I suspect it's because summer is upon us, and she is worried about the transition, having to say goodbye to her teacher, etc., as she's so sensitive so it's freaking her out. If I say, "Please sit down and finish your breakfast" (she gets up several times during mealtimes, mostly to cartwheel), she'll yell, "MOM! Stop telling me that! I was going to!!!" Or, she's started to respond, "I don't care!" or "I don't have to!" Shaun and I have really been working on our tone with each other and the kids, so I feel like we're really modeling ways to disagree, ask questions, etc., without being disrespectful. And, we've been working on our connection with her, each of us committing to ensuring that she is feeling that sense of belonging and significance. So, I'm somewhat stumped now as to where to go with this. Often she's outright saying, "NO!" or is moaning and groaning about every situation, even when choice and inviting language is used. I did just take the "is your child sensitive" quiz that was posted on the FB page, and she scores off the charts. Thoughts? This child is teaching the hell out of me. So grateful for parents who reach out for support!! Enjoy this episode of Ask Casey as I do my best to share advice and feedback on this behavior that drives us ALL mad!! Back talk video Article on consent – good man project “Our kids are doing the best they can with the skills they have.” What/How questions Connect before correct Get curious about your child’s experience too Offer the opportunity for a redo They need to have the space for you to say “that wasn’t the best way to handle this situation, let’s try it again.” Practice being non-attached (don’t take it personally) “Tell me about that…” and then LISTEN DEEPLY The goal is to help our kids build skills to navigate disappointment in a way that isn’t hurtful to others, themselves or the environment around them. Soothing basket PDF Hold space for them to be uncomfortable and trust them to get to the other side :::::::::: Listeners!!! Chime in with your thoughts!! What are your tips/thoughts/experiences around setting limits for screen time?? Join the conversation on the live and love with joyful courage page If you have questions for an Ask Casey episode, fill out the form and send it my way!! :::::::::: THANK YOU!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome! My guest today is Dr. Michele Borba, a globally-recognized educational psychologist and parenting, bullying, and character expert. Her aim is to strengthen children’s empathy and resilience to break the cycle of youth violence. She has delivered keynotes and workshops to over 1 million participants on 5 continents and authored 24 books translated into 14 languages. Her latest book is out on June 7, and is titled Unselfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World. Parents and educators will benefit greatly from Dr. Borba’s wisdom and insights. Join us! What you’ll hear in this episode: Michele has experience as a special education teacher and working on school shooting prevention and bullying prevention programs. Much of the world’s violence narrows down to the primary need of empathy. What is empathy? The ability to “feel” with someone, to step in and understand where another person is coming from. Empathy has emotional and cognitive components. In researching her book, Michele learned from Holocaust rescuers that empathy was modeled for them by their parents, so it was natural for them to care about helping others. In the last 30 years, empathy in children has dropped by 40%, while narcissism has increased by 58%. Michele explains “The Selfie Syndrome” and how it kills empathy. Michele shares the following about learning empathy: It’s a “womb-to-tomb” scenario, so you can start learning at any age. Children are hard-wired for empathy at birth. Infants go through the first step of empathy when they attach to their mothers. Around age 1, emotional literacy begins when a child understands another’s clues to sadness or hurt. The problem today is that children are learning to tune in to digital devices and not to each other. #1 Tip: Teach your child to look at the color of the eyes of the person speaking to learn to “tune in.” Michele’s book teaches activities to cultivate empathy, to listen better, and to stand up to a bully. How to teach children the A, B, C’s of recognizing stress The “empathy gap” of overwhelmed kids Many “self-regulation” techniques are recommended in the book. Why we MUST teach coping strategies to our kids! How to teach them to take care of someone else’s heart Why saying “I’m sorry” is NOT the best option Michele gives some baby steps that parents can take as a starting point to increase empathy in their kids. “Think Big, Start Small”---choose ONE thing to do Michele has “Bully Buster” techniques and skills in the book. What does Joyful Courage mean to you? “Joyful Courage is the most wonderful concept you can imagine. Having courage brings real joy. We need to build kids from the inside out. It’s the real miracle point of your heart opening to another.” Resources: www.commonsensemedia.org www.micheleborba.com Find Dr. Borba on Facebook and Twitter and find her books on Amazon.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Deborah MacNamara is a brilliant voice in parent education and if was so fun to get to know her on the podcast! Dr. Deborah MacNamara is on Faculty at the Neufeld Institute and author of Rest, Play, Grow: Making Sense of Preschoolers (or anyone who acts like one) She presents, teaches, and writes on all facets of child and adolescent development based on the relational-developmental approach of Gordon Neufeld. She is also in private practice where she offers counselling services to parents and professionals in making sense of learning, behavioural, and developmental issues in kids. Deborah is a dynamic teacher and experienced counsellor who makes developmental science come to life in the everyday context of home and classroom. She was an amazing guest and I KNOW you will be left is awe of all you have learned while listening to our conversation!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this bonus episode, I talk with my friend, Victoria Sexton all about how to use aromatherapy for wellness. She breaks down what essential oils are, how to use a diffuser, and how to handle it when theres loads of snot and a cough (thats when I typically cross over to the over the counter stuff). I know you will find value in this show and walk away feeling super excited about using aromatherapy in your home. My diffusers been ordered. From Victoria - Antibacterial Essential oils: Orange Eucalyptus Rosemary Frankincense Lavender Peppermint Note: Do not apply essential oils to infants. Use a diffuser instead. For kids years 2 and above use a dilution of 1% of essential oils (6 drops per ounce). How to follow Victoria: www.naturalgoodnessskincare.com Facebook Pinterest <3 THANK YOU FOR LISTENING!!! I am so honored to have you out there, appreciating the conversations happening here. Please reach out, check in, let me know what you love about the podcast. Let me know your questions. I am here for you!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I am so honored to have Rebecca Eanes on the podcast this week!! Rebecca Eanes is a best selling author, the founder of positive-parents.org, creator of Positive Parenting: Toddlers and Beyond, and a contributing editor to Creative Child Magazine where she does most of her writing currently. Her books are The Newbie's Guide to Positive Parenting which has been a #1 best seller in it's category on Amazon, and a co-authored book, Positive Parenting in Action: The How-To Guide to Putting Positive Parenting Principles in Action in Early Childhood, which has also been an Amazon best seller internationally. Her new book, Positive Parenting: An Essential Guide, will be released on June 7, 2016. You can preorder it now at Amazon. Blog posts and articles by Rebecca mentioned during the podcast: Parenting the Highly Sensitive Boy Disciplining the Sensitive Child Create A Calm Down Area Does Time-In Reward Children? Books mentioned on the podcast: The Highly Sensitive Child by Elaine Aron The Strong Sensitive Boy by Ted Zeff Parenting Without Power Struggles by Susan Stiffleman Pre - Order Rebeccas new book - Positive Parenting: The Essential Guide NOW With your preorder you will receive exclusive access to her Facebook Book Club experience where you will get support from Rebecca, complimentary PDF for each chapter, support and accountability for lasting change, AND be entered to win books, ecourse and parent coaching sessions with top parenting coaches!! Follow Rebecca: www.positive-parents.org Positive Parenting Toddlers and Beyond Facebook Page Positive Parents on Pinterest @BeckyEanes on Twitter @RebeccaEanes on Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome! My guest today is Jiovann Carrasco, a psychotherapist in Austin, TX. Jiovann is the owner of the Austin Mindfulness Center, a meditator, and the author of an online mindfulness program called Follow your Breath. He is an engaged and connected father to two young kids and worked as a stay-at-home dad for two years! Let’s jump into this topic of mindfulness with Jiovann! What you’ll hear in this episode: How Jiovann began practicing meditation in 2008, as a result of the anxiety and panic attacks from his stressful job as a therapist at a group home How Zen meditation changed Jiovann and allowed him to connect with himself like never before How does Jiovann define mindfulness? “Attending to whatever arises in the present moment without trying to change it or judge it.” Jiovann explains the benefits to mindfulness in parenting. Why Jiovann took a popular course on Positive Discipline and became a certified parent educator Jiovann explains how to bring mindfulness to even the everyday mundane tasks required in parenting. How Jiovann structures his early morning meditation practice and time with his kids How kids already know how to be mindful and present WAY more than adults Fearful thoughts and worries are what our minds naturally focus on; mindfulness finds ways to shine the spotlight on anything else in the present moment. Jiovann recommends two books: Planting Seeds by Thich Nhat Hanh and Sitting Still Like A Frog by Eline Snel. Jiovann explains the basics of his 6-week, on-demand, online course. See details below! What does joyful courage mean to Jiovann? “Mindfulness is one of the most courageous things to do. It’s intentionally moving toward the fears, and joy and happiness are natural by-products.” Connect with Jiovann: www.austinmindfulness.org (Find information on the course, Follow Your Breath, including meditation audio, downloadables, journals, practice logs, videos, and access to the Facebook group. The normal price is $299, but through the end of 2016, the course is available for 50% off. But wait, it gets better! FOLLOW YOUR BREATHE MINDFULNESS COURSE: For JCP listeners, take an additional 35% off, which brings the price UNDER $100!) --- CLICK HERE FOR THE DISCOUNT! Facebook l Twitter l Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A question from Maria… My 6yo loves his ipad and tv, like I'm sure they all do. I don't allow him to play non-stop and he's generally ok with boundaries. My issue is he's always asking. ALWAYS. I'm forever saying no, or later, or ok for half an hour, or after you do this or that. I'm the bad guy when he really wants to and I'd rather he do something more constructive. I'd like to put the power in his hands, instead of mine, but how. I thought about giving him a weekly limit and letting him go free, when his limit is met, no more screens. But how, he's 6 and doesn't really get time management. Plus, school days vs weekends (and now summer) are different. Right now he doesn't have homework, but when he does, screens should be very limited (I'd imagine) and I don't want to break a habit when that starts. On the weekends, in the morning, he gets to play/watch until dad and I get up and make breakfast. Than maybe more later, but it depends on what we're doing. Ugh this is only going to get worse when he gets older. I'd like to set some limits he can follow on his own, so I'm not the dictator. One that won't allow him to be on it for hours. His attitude is awful if he's been playing a long time, shoot that happens to me too! I am not an expert on screen time – we are first generation of parents parenting kids with crazy access to screens, also we are the first parents to ALSO have this access. We are the models Time on the screens is time not connecting with other human beings in our life Root of the problem is disconnection No perfect answer No screens Vs No Limits Lots of room in the middle for skill development, self regulation practice, time management exploration Have a conversation about what you are noticing and invite him to speak into his experience Look at the week and the days – then decide what could work for you, what he would like, whiddle it down to a place where you are both satisfied Blog posts: Earning Privileges Earning Privileges, Revisited No magic number of miutes Comes down to provide an opportunity for your six year old to be a part of the problem solving process We must give them experience for practicing negotiating, offer/counter offer Notice rigidity Showing up with your plan in mind will not be helpful Go into the conversation to deeply listen and be open minded Use visuals so that he knows when screen time is Give opportunities to be autonomous Try the solution for a week and revisit – tweak if necessary Our children are full of creative ideas When we are a part of the problem solving, we are more likely to follow through with the solution Use daily special time to connect and continue to strengthen relationship When we strengthen relationship with our kids we are increasing our kids sense of belonging and significance When you notice things are challenging, turn your lens towards the relationship Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome! My guest today is Sarah Remmer, a registered dietitian and pediatric nutrition expert. She blogs at Stork to Fork, sharing ideas, advice, and easy recipes for real parents who want their kids to grow into healthy relationships with food. Let’s jump right into this topic with Sarah! What you’ll hear in this episode: Sarah is the mother of three young kids, so she knows the struggle! In her client work, Sarah noticed that the common denominator was the way they were raised in dysfunctional relationships with food. She rebranded and turned her specialty to helping parents raise kids with healthy habits and positive, functional relationships with food for life. Her practice has been thriving, as she is now recognized as a top pediatric nutritionist. Sarah discusses the biggest challenges in feeding kids; if you’re a parent, then you’ve experienced one or more of these! How a recent blog post by Sarah focuses on the “role reversal” that takes place between parents and kids at mealtimes Why kids should NOT stick exclusively with their favorite snacks, like yogurt or bananas Boundaries are important and help create structure. Sarah advises NO short order cooking, NO special meals, and NO snacking after meals. Desserts are tricky! Why you should NOT require “3 more bites of broccoli” before dessert! Why kids are naturally drawn to energy-rich foods like sweets and carbs Eating a wide variety of foods as a toddler will broaden your child’s palate! Ask your child, “How can I make this food yummier for you?” Bad habits CAN be changed! How to involve kids in meals and meal planning Sometimes, kids are truly NOT hungry! Sarah explains your “long-term feeding lens” vs. the short term. What does “joyful courage” mean to you? “Having the courage to start fresh. Forgive yourself for unhealthy habits. Be kind and end mealtime power struggles. Connect with Sarah: www.sarahremmer.comFacebook Twitter Follow Sarah on the Yummy Mummy Club site! The Super Healthy Kids Blog Feeding Kids: How Parents and Kids Often Have Their Roles Mixed Up (and how to fix it) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices