Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

Today is a solo show, reflecting on 2019 – the celebrations, the lessons, all of it. I am so grateful for the community and the love you send me and each other on the daily!! See you in the new year! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Aparna Venkataraman. Aparna is a parent coach, meditation teacher, motivational speaker and global wellness advocate for doTERRA essential oils. Her approachable nature, strong intuition and problem solving skills guide her in supporting parents of babies, toddlers and teens to empower themselves and build healthy relationships with one another through effective communication, confidence building and light hearted mindfulness techniques. She values authenticity, which you all know is one of my favorites, a kind nature, motivation, love, compassion, gratitude and humor as key components of a beautiful life. She’s here to share ways that families can relieve stress through self care, mindfulness and effective communication. Join us! "Self care means to me to find ways to connect back to what is lighting me up, what is helping me to find peace and stay connected to my authentic self.” “There are simple things you can do each day that can help you to create a routine where you're feeling connected to yourself and not just waiting until the weekend until you have much more time” “We can put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be a certain way and to show up in the world as somebody who has it all together. When we're really actually stressed, really, really stressed on the inside.” What you’ll hear in this episode: Self-care beyond manicures and exercise Why self care doesn’t have to wait for the weekend The pressure to keep up appearances How to tell when you’re connecting to your authentic self What is intrinsic self care The power behind finding our why How spirituality can be helpful The role of breath in self care Stress, parenting and mindfulness Tips for learning mindfulness Ways to start small in your mindfulness Laughter as stress relief Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

SOLO SHOW! I have shared about going to therapy – and quite a few of you have reached out and shared that this has prompted YOU to find this kind of support in your community – SO HAPPY! I told you how I shopped around and chose on that I thought was the right fit. I had actually had some one I trust and worked with suggest that somatic therapy was really the fit I wanted, so that is what I looked for. Even after shopping around, after a few sessions, I felt unsatisfied with the experience. IT felt slow and directionless. Now, this could ABSOLUTELY say something about me, right? Have I spoken before about my need to get things moving and FIX problems??? I have another friend that told me that I would LOVE who she was seeing – it’s a man, interestingly enough I thought I wanted to work with women but I LOVE THIS GUY. And while he isn’t solving my problems and going into “fix it” mode – the masculine energy is what I am noticing is supporting the work. But it also feels balanced because there does seem to be spaciousness, but my experience of the time spent with him feel directional. So, all that to say that you all have permission to change up your mental health team if something feels off. Unapologetically. Today I want to talk about something that has been coming up for me, AND with some of my clients. I have a feeling you are all going to relate with this as well. So let me set this up and you can decide if you can relate…. You are looking ahead to the weekend. Everyone is going to be home on Sunday and you would really like to have a family day, time together doing something…. Maybe you’ll all decide to go to a movie or do a project, but you know that time together is something you all need and Sunday is the perfect time…. Sunday rolls around and your partner gets busy with a home improvement project that looks like it is going to last all day, one of you kids has made plans with friends and gets irritated when you tell him nope, you have to be home. And maybe the other child is looking for “alone time” rather than “together time.” We are all in this together, friends!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Tonya Dalton. Tonya is a productivity expert, writer, speaker and founder of Inkwell Press Productivity Company, a company centered around productivity tools and training. she released her book The Joy of Missing Out on October 1, she's going to share a little bit about her book with us. Tanya is also the mother of two teenagers and really knows what it means to be the leader of a family. Join us! " I love that it feels like a permission slip. Like I feel like I have permission to just stop chasing my tail.” “We're filling our calendars, but we're not really filling our souls.” “it's really about mindful living. It's really about living with intention.” “Productivity is not about doing more. It's about doing what is most important.” “Life is meant to be enjoyed, not just endured.” “None of us truly have it all together all of the time.” “Balance is a myth.” What you’ll hear in this episode: The glorification of busy The obligation and pressure to be busy How not being busy makes us feel about ourselves How being busy keeps us from nurturing ourselves and others Quality over quantity Embracing imperfection Releasing the need to be busy “Shoulding” on ourselves and why that’s not helpful Living mindfully with intention Prioritizing activities instead of trying to do all the things Letting go of “Some Day” Syndrome The stories we tell ourselves and unreasonably high expectations Getting curious about our responses to life Examining our comfort zones and if they are serving us How releasing perfectionism supports connection Letting people lift you up as a gift to them Family as a team Sunday planning as a ritual Division of labor based on team member needs and supporting each other Belonging and significance and filling each other’s buckets Encouraging ownership and buy in with your kids Letting go of balance Finding flexibility in the mess Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today is a solo show. I missed you all last week…. As you know, I am in the throes of navigating my own parenting journey and sometimes that means stepping away from my professional work to focus on my family. For all of you out there who are feeling like you are the only one struggling on this path, it simply IS NOT TRUE. We all have our own way of sharing with the world, and many people just don’t. They keep the hard stuff to themselves, leaving the rest of us thinking that their lives are easy-breezy. This podcast, and this episode, is my way of pulling back the curtain and sharing from am deeply authentic place. The Joyful Courage community is a place for all of us to bring our whole, vulnerable selves. There is plenty to worry about on the parenting path, especially as our kids transform into teens and beyond. When is the fear useful, and when is it getting in the way of hearing our own wise, intuition? I explore that today. I hope you enjoy it! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Hunter Clarke-Fields. Hunter is a yoga and mindfulness coach, the host of the Mindful Mama Podcast, and supporter of moms near and far. She is also a mama herself and walks her talk with her two daughters. I had the great pleasure of being a guest on Hunter’s podcast and am thrilled to host here on the Joyful Courage Podcast. Hunter’s book, Raising Good Humans: A Mindful Guide to Breaking the Cycle of Reactive Parenting and Raising Kind, Confident Kids is available now, and I am super honored to share her wisdom with you all today. Where to find Hunter Raising Good Humans Book Page: Raising Good Humans Book.com Facebook Page: Hunter Clarke-Fields, Mindful Mama Mentor Instagram: Mindful Mama Mentor Twitter: HClarkeFields LinkedIn: Hunter Clarke-Fields Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week is a solo show and I am totally going free style. There aren’t much for show notes, I hope you listen and that what is shared resonates with you. We are all in this together! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Jaynay C. Johnson. Jaynay is a therapist, speaker and author, dedicating much of her time and energy to serving adolescent girls and their families. From suffering from teen depression to being written off from family and teachers as being just another troubled teen, Jaynay has always been a firm believer that at any given moment you have the power to say "This is not how the story is going to end." Jennay chose to take control of her story, choosing to dedicate her life to uplifting and empowering the leaders of tomorrow. Jaynay's body of work includes published books, magazine features, radio interviews and multiple guest appearances. A lady of elegance, poise, motivation and hope for tomorrow's leaders Jennay embodies an uplifting message and presentation style that she believes the ones coming behind her will need in order to reach their greatest potential. Join us! "I think the space where parents miss a great opportunity is to empathize.” “The reality is phones are not bad. Internet is not bad. It's a tool.” “If as the parent, you're constantly making the choices for them, you're almost telling them that you don't think that they can make good decision.” “It is important for us all to just take a proactive approach and have conversations around the best practices of social media, the best practices of having a phone. And I think we just need to be doing that more frequently than we are.” What you’ll hear in this episode: The evolution of the concept of adolescence The audacity of “I know, because I was a teenager.” Empathy and raising teens Giving teens enough information to make informed decisions The value of appropriate openness Intergenerational differences The role of mobile phones and when they tend to be introduced to Gen Z Important conversations to have about phones with your kids Big issues facing teens and their parents Emotional intelligence and how it factors into the decision of which paths to pursue Timing of college and the need to be open minded Teaching your kids to trust themselves Challenges facing teens and families of color Being cognizant of cultural differences What does Joyful Courage mean to you? So joyful courage means to me that, although it can be rough to have certain conversations and to pull out some of the, you know, darker sides of life, I find joy knowing that once we pull them out, they get a chance to see the light. And from there, everything goes up and up. So that's what it means to me, that I had the courage to pull it out. But then you're happy because it's out and once it's out, it can breathe. Where to find Jaynay: Instagram | Facebook | Twitter | Website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey friends… thank you for meeting me here. Thank you for seeing me and for sharing the ways that this podcast resonates with you and supports you. I have received feedback from so many of you talking about how this show is a lifeline for you, and a place where the experience you are having on the parenting journey is validating. Radical Acceptance Have you heard of this? DBT (which I haven’t ever done and know really nothing about accepting something with all of your soul opening yourself to fully experience the reality of the moment Fighting reality continues suffering Being in acceptance allow “radically accept that you want something you don’t have and it’s not a catastrophe” – Marsha Lineham The moment your in and the past – but you can change from there Reality is what it is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTG7YEWkJFI Past and future fucks us up How many of us feel guilty and rack our brains looking for where we screwed up? If we did it differently we wouldn’t be in the situation we are in…. But but but…. Shouldn’t we think about the future? And how can we not??? I have hopes and dreams for my kids, of course. THEY ARE THE DESIGNERS OF THEIRL IFE AND HOW CAN I GET OUT OF THE WAY???????? Creating a space that is pure enough for them to trust themselves. Popular conversations Would have us believe that there is a five step process for getting the outcome we want with our kids Popular conversations would have us believe that parenting is about them and not us Popular conversations would have us believe that if things go sideways it is about something that we are doing wrong, that there is something to fix Popular conversation blames the world today, technology, and teens themselves for what we are seeing What if popular conversation is wrong What if parenting is all about us? What if no matter WHAT we do, our kids are going to experience the path they are meant to experience? What if right here, right now, is exactly as it is meant to be? Radical acceptance. If this is exactly where we are meant to be, with all fo the challenges that exist – and I see you out there. Those of you with kids who are navigating mental health challenges, drug use and abuse, risky behavior – I see you out there who FROM THE BEGINNING were invited into radical acceptance due to your childs different abilities – whether they be physical, mental or emotional. You are the ones that all of us can learn from. This is old news, this idea of accepting reality AS IT IS. Thank you for being models for the rest of us and modeling what this looks like…. If this is exactly where we are meant to be, if we accept rather than resist the reality that we are finding ourselves in day to day, then there must be a purpose. Perhaps it is as simple as sitting in this space. Allowing the physical, emotional, and spiritual experience of this acceptance to live without trying to make it go away. My own experience with this…. Eps 203 I talked about getting a therapist Current situation creating a physical response in my body Somatic therapy/radical acceptance called me to transform the experience What also shows up….. self doubt (the ego is super loud) Back to radical acceptance, back to turning inward and being with what is showing up Raise your hand if you can’t sleep? Raise your hand if your belly is tied up in knots? Raise your hand if you are experiencing feat that is with you all.damn.day? I see you. Radical acceptance. Things are as they are. Feel that Notice what shows up Allow it to have a voice How does your body respond? What happens when you bring compassion? Can you be with it? We are not in charge of the narrative that is our children’s lives. Yet , as that narrative plays out, we can write our own narrative about how we are going to show up…… And right now, the narrative that I am writing is one of radical acceptance. I love you! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Wendy Bertagnole. Wendy Bertagnole, is a lover of chocolate, lifter of heavy weights, believer in wearing yoga clothes most every day, and a mother of three kids. She works with moms who are frustrated with their children’s behavior, helping them to once again enjoy motherhood and their children. With an undergrad degree in child development and a masters in special education, Wendy has taken what she’s learned, while also raising her three kids, to serve others Wendy knows that not every child shows up 100% happy and willing to cooperate every moment of every day, which can be frustrating. She believe every behavior is a form of communication and her mission is to help every parent understand what their child is communicating through their behavior. Wendy’s work is aligned with the mission of Joyful Courage and I am thrilled to have some time to talk with her today. Find Wendy: Website | Podcast | Facebook | Instagram | Pinterest Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today is a solo show – woohoo! I am having a really hard time prepping a solo show…. Part of the problem is that I feel like I am really in my own work of finding some space inside of my fears and worries about my parenting. Am I too permissive? Am I avoiding conflict? Or am I meeting my kids where they are at? Am I being pragmatic, or is this confusing? Am I enabling or am I meeting my children where they are at? What is going to happen to them? Will they be able to cope in the future? Will they ever feel passionate about anything? Do they feel worthy of showing up, standing up, giving back? I literally have been waking up in the middle of the night gripped with tension in my body and mind, spinning through all of these questions, coupling this with “what if…” Well – I made an appointment to see my fave energy worker to see if I could get some help with removing these blocks, letting go so I could release these fears. And you know what came up – it is time for me to get some therapy. Yup. See, I am super aware of what is happening when it is happening. I can see the way I am in the middle of my family, grasping for strings to bring me a sense of control and safety – what is really happening is that I am becoming so entangled in their experience, that I may actually be making things worse… Or maybe not, but the dynamics in my relationships are not what I want them to be. Shift into love. Shift into connection. Surrender, let go. But what happened, what I learned or was reminded of from my energy worker, is that the “shift” I want to have happen, that I actually want to have happen, is bypassing the very real need that my inner girl has to be seen and heard and felt. Between the messages I received growing up, and the persona that I try to fill in my career, there is this mistaken idea that to belong, or to matter, or to be “doing my work” I need to not fall apart. That falling apart is somehow weak, or a crutch, or I don’t know…. Not enlightened? I can pinpoint times in my life where my experience was being dismissed, where I was told that there wasn’t space for me to breakdown and I have internalized that to the point where I can’t move through my pain. And right now, the pain is fear and self doubt and worry…. My system wants to take the short cut to just breathing, finding neutral with my body and taking the balcony seat (doesn’t that sound familiar?) And I am not here to say that the breath body balcony tool isn’t helpful, I do believe it is, AND there are times when the work that is being called for goes deeper than mindfulness with breath and journaling. Working out what I am being shown as a place to get messy and dig in is actually going to support me in using mindfulness/the 3 Bs as tools for daily practice of being in relationship with my teens, WITHOUT bringing in the baggage of what I am holding from my own past… It’s like when I work with teachers, I get to facilitate PDC, which is super useful all of the kids, and there are a small percentage of the kids that need more, right? For various reasons, there are some kids in the classroom that need more, they need a team, they need creative problem solving that is a bit more out of the box than the majority. That is where I am at right now on my own journey, and I need a team. I have some things to work through, beliefs to reframe, and some validation of my human experience to receive. I get to spend some time digging into my stuff in a way that lets it all come undone, finding a feeling of safety for being with the breakdown, so that I can breakthrough what is on the other side of these limiting beliefs. Thank you so much for listening…. Please let me know how this show has resonated for you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is DR. ROB REIHER. Rob is a highly respected developmental and educational psychologist. He is a media expert who studies the escalating impact of tech, media and consumerism and it’s accompanying “noise” on children, families and society. Also, Rob has extensive experience as a researcher, counselor, speaker, consultant, and educator. As an adjunct professor of Psychology at Woodbury University in Burbank California, Rob created and taught the first INNERTAINMENT course in the country. Rob has written two books and is the co-author (with Daniel Acuff Ph.D.) of Kidnapped: How Irresponsible Marketers Are Stealing the Minds of Your Children. He is also the co-host of the Live Above the Noise podcast. I am thrilled to have Dr. Reiher on to support us in developing tools for this landscape of parenting. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Natha Campanella. She is a professional writer, a mother, a teacher, an astrologer and intuitive guide. Natha is also a certified master life coach and she uses a unique blend of modalities and her approach with an emphasis on traditional coaching and astrology. She often supplements with knowledge from the enneagram. We will be discussing astrology. Join us! "There's something that is very objective about astrology and also very validating.” “The beautiful thing about astrology it is that it is so similar to the way that we as humans just navigate the world.” “Meeting them where they're at is understanding who they are, and then working with them from that place.” What you’ll hear in this episode: How natal charts are created and what they mean What archetypes are and what they do How a chart is laid out and what each section symbolizes Ways your sign can influence your approach to life How you can use your astrological information to shape your choices Astrological insights as additional, objective, non-judgmental information for self-exploration Why charting your family can be helpful Astrology as a means to meet your kids where they are at How astrology can interface with or be complementary to positive or peaceful parenting Using astrological information to navigate parenting challenges Astrology and the iceberg metaphor Resources for understanding astrology Ways to work with Natha What does Joyful Courage mean to you? I think joyful courage means to me that, you know, even when stuff feels really hard, which it does a lot. Especially, I don't know for the rest of you, but for me, that there's always this sort of invitation to be courageous and keep moving forward and to really look for what is joyful within the context of what's happening. And I always find really amazing things even when I'm, you know, having a dark night of the soul. It's like "Oh, you know, look at how beautiful that bumblebee looks on that flower right now" and so you know, it's like always just seeking out, always knowing that there is something beautiful happening and that can bring joy. Resources: Caroline Myss - Sacred Contracts Astro.com The Inner Sky Jan Spiller Where to find: Website | Facebook | Instagram | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Yay! I’m back! I’ve missed you all!!! It isn’t often that I take time off of this podcast, and I am really grateful to have taken the past few weeks off. Some of the things that went down included: Working with three elementary schools here in Bellingham! Supporting the staff members with implementing Positive Discipline in the classroom Shout out to teachers – they are on the font lines of making the world a better place, and just like all of us, doing the best they can with the tools they have. I have worked with many teachers doing the PD trainer, and I have come across some that are deeply discouraged, and others that are super encouraged and what they all have in common is that they show up each day for the kids in their class. And I just want to say that the ways that parents treat their children’s teacher makes all the difference. Build that relationship – it will benefit not only your child, but all the children in your child’s class because a teacher that feels connected to the families he or she serves is going to show up better – belonging and significance are not only what our kids need, it is what all humans need. I launched the Parenting Teens with Positive Discipline Audio Summit Encore Offer! I just couldn’t put these conversations to rest – they were so rich. I know that the whole online summit formula is to give you way more than you can consume in a short period of time and then sell you the whole thing so that you can actually get what you need at your own pace. I followed that formula last time and it felt weird…. I do need to make a living people, and the content I create does have significant value, and…. This felt weird to me. So what I did was I distilled down the content so that it is in bite sized pieces. And omg, going through these audios again was so amazing – I am in a different place than when I recorded these interviews and it really speaks into how our lenses, or our listening, changes over time…. Anyways, I had over 200 people tune into the summit and the feedback was so great!!! If you missed it, I *am* selling the package, with all the interviews in full, for a limited time on my website. $49. Another significant thing that went down in the last few weeks is that MY SON HAS STARTED AT HIS NEW SCHOOL!!! Remember, we moved? Do you remember that my son was not so excited? Actually, he was pretty pissed about the whole thing and had a pretty low key summer up here, worrying about what his new school and life was going ot look like. He did make one friend prior to school starting here in the neighborhood. Shout out to Leona who saw my post in the neighborhood moms FB group about looking for another 8th grader who likes basketball to hand out with my son and got in touch. They hit it off and it made a world of difference for Ian to have a friend walking into the first day. And just as I suspected, he was fine. Better than fine, he was like a celebrity. And that is how it’s been since school started. He is building a friend group full of really sweet, kind kids. I get to trust his judge of character and remember that Ian likes to be around kids that are nice and fun. Yay. Big exhale there. WHEW!!!!!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

HEYYYY!! This isn't a full episode - just a quick announcement letting listeners know that the show is going to take a month off and come back strong September 17th - woop woop. Listen in and find out how to stay connected. Big love, Casey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today is a SOLO SHOW! First, how about a community celebration for the 200TH EPISODE of the Joyful Courage Podcast!!! WOOP WOOP!! It is so exciting to reach this milestone with you all... Along with the fact that the podcast has been downloaded over 550,000 times!! I am so deeply grateful and honored that I get to show up for you each week and that what I create is useful to you.... In honor of the 200th show, I actually have a BRAND NEW SOLO SHOW to share this week. I got some pretty powerful feedback from my teen daughter about my parenting style and the messages she is getting through how I show up and talk to her. Granted, we are navigating some new territory, and have recently been in some tricky discussions. And at the end of the day, I don't always know what the right thing to do is... You out there with teens may know what I mean, the conversation may sound like this: Teenager: "But, why can't I ___?" Parent ( racking brain for the perfect , logical answer): "I'm not sure, mostly ___ just feels like it should be a hard no...." And then you are left feeling like maybe you are holding on to old beliefs, or perhaps it is what other people will think that is getting in the way, or maybe you are having one of those "can you just not tell me and get a little sneaky " moments (yes, these thoughts exist for me too). While we all want open, honest relationships with our kids - the open honesty brings with it a BUNCH of challenges that catch you off guard. And honestly, I don't always know the right answer, it's not always neat and tidy over here, AND, it turns out, sometimes my daughter feels like a a giving permission, when really, I am just unsure of what to say do. You guys. It is so messy. And this is what I am sharing on the podcast this week. I hope you love it. ::::: Parenting Teens with Positive Discipline Audio Summit ENCORE OFFER The Parenting Teens with Positive Discipline Audio Summit first went live in January of 2019. I gave participants each interview in its entirety, for a week of learning. It was a LOT of content for busy overwhelmed parents, so I built a curated navigation system, to help guide and support and I am sharing with you. I have organized some of the many powerful messages from the interviews and complied them around the themes that are important to get us started. Those themes include: Hot topics like screens, sex, body image, risky behavior Deepening our understanding of this time of life, for both your teen and you, as a parent Strategies for maintaining and nurturing your relationship Settling in when it gets messy Doing our work to get out of their way The Encore Offer is my gift - free to you. I think this wisdom is so important, I wanted to share with as many parents as possible. And I encourage you to share with others! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week I am replaying a conversation that I had one year ago, almost to THE DAY, with one of my DREAM GUESTs, Dr. Dan Siegel. I am so glad that when I record, there is only audio going on, because I was grinning like a fool while talking to Dr. Siegel. Anyone who knows his work, KNOWS, he is the real deal. Super brilliant. Super dedicated to supporting parents in a way that MATTERS. His books, which he co-authored with another Joyful Courage fave guest, Dr. Tina Bryson, include the whole brain child, no drama discipline, and the yes brain. He also wrote, Brainstorm, the power and purpose of the teen brain – a guide for every parent and teen to understand more fully the special, unique brain development that happens during adolescents. Dr. Seigel came on last summer to discuss his book, Aware: The Science and Practice of Presence. I love LOVED this discussion, and I think you will too!! Takeaways from the show How being present impacts the speed of the aging process Wellbeing and how it is enhanced by being present Relationships with your kids and how being present improves it Cultivating awareness Role modeling resilience How awareness feeds connection vs control Impacts of a lack of structure on the brain and future of children Authoritative parenting vs Authoritarian parenting Why we need the village and how that creates stress for contemporary parents Finding joy, tranquility and connection through expanding awareness Flipping our lid, learning from our body’s signals and how awareness can help Monitoring and modifying for self-regulation and to improve responses to stress The 3 O’s what they mean Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey friends! Welcome back to Joyful Courage – a conscious parenting podcast, where we get real and raw about the parenting journey. You have tuned in to another SUMMER SERIES EPISODE!! This week I am super excited to bring back my conversation from TWO YEARS AGO, Episode 98, with Kerry Foreman. I am THRILLED to be sharing this conversation with you. Kerry is someone that I follow on Instagram and am continuously inspired by how she shows up in the world. Kerry has an online program for teens that is based in mindfulness. It is a 4 week research based course will allow your teen to develop beginning mindfulness skills and cultivate a mindfulness practice that will reduce stress and improve their mental health. Your teen will become empowered to take control of their well being, become more aware of thoughts and behaviors leading to higher accountability, increase their self esteem, and find an inner happiness not attached to anything external. Kerry Foreman is a Registered Psychotherapist, with her Masters in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. She is passionate about Mindfulness and has been practicing and teaching for 4 years. Kerry lives in Monument, Colorado with her patient husband, a teenager, a tween and two rescue dogs, Norman and Fern. Through using Mindfulness to increase her self awareness, she realized that during her childhood she had learned and practiced faulty coping skills. She targeted them one by one, and slowly changed the cycles of her family, learned new behaviors, and worked to create new, positive habits for life. She did this in order to have a successful marriage and to be the kind of Mom she wanted to be. She is passionate about her ability to create change. Change your thinking and it changes your life. What you’ll hear in this episode: Recognition of FOO (Family of Origin) patterns and the call to make changes Psychological/verbal/emotional abuse trains us react rather than respond Noticing patterns such as shame, guilt and anger – where do they originate? Becoming a parent can bring these to the surface. How do we recognize where we need to change? Learning to respond instead if react Understand and reflect on our own parents’ experience Creating change and becoming aware of our own inner state of being Mindfulness practice influences the shift into better relationships How do we become grounded in order to stay balanced and present in mind no matter what is happening around us? Where control plays a role in mindfulness and the contrast in anxiety What do we chose to believe – what is the story we play in our minds? Self talk of being a victim – recognizing the language Expectations of others and how to stay mindful and in control while at the same time releasing what we are not in control of. What does Joyful Courage mean to me? “Joyful Courage is finding the joy in being brave enough to parent differently. Finding a new path in order to allow our kids to be who they were meant to be.” Where to find Kerry: YouTube l Facebook l Twitter l BLOG Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey friends! Welcome back to Joyful Courage – a conscious parenting podcast, where we get real and raw about the parenting journey. You have tuned in to another SUMMER SERIES EPISODE!! This week I am bringing back my conversation with Kim Muench. Kim has been on the show a couple of times, but this episode we dig into how the parenting teens experience can really feel like a tight rope walk. Consider the content of LAST WEEK’s show, I thought it would be helpful to share this conversation. Kim is a JAI Institute for Parenting certified parenting coach who works with moms of preteens and teenagers. She is the mother of 5 kids ages 13-31. She writes about conscious parenting, provides one on one coaching and workshops to help support moms towards intentional parenting. We are discussing detaching from the outcome. Join us! What you’ll hear in this episode: - When children arrive at adolescence - The balance of boundaries and relationship building with our teens - Choosing your battles - Defining your family values - Setting an example for your kids - Defining non-negotiables - Ways to offer choices to your teenager - Detaching from the outcome - Prioritizing personal care and personal development - The illusion of control - Individuation and what that can look like - Supporting our kids in making better choices with alcohol - Being okay with kids failing or things taking longer - Trusting vs hovering - learning to detach - Taking a long view to your relationship with your kids What does Joyful Courage mean to you? Joyful Courage means to me enthusiastically embracing and supporting the journey of our sons and daughters that have come into the world to live out their journey. Supporting and encouraging them with enthusiasm. And I love the two words together, I think it’s fantastic. Resources: Episode 82: Tweens and Smart Phones Where to find: Website | Facebook | Twitter | Facebook Group Real Life Parenting Community Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today I am bringing back my conversation with Liz Blackwell-Moore from episode 128. Liz and I go deep into the conversation of substance use and abuse and how to be in relationship with our kids while also navigating the very real decisions they may or may not decide to make. I know, this topic is tough. We all want our kid to be safe and healthy…. And we all feel the fear around the very real risks some of them take. This conversation is powerful and left me feeling more grounded about this super intense part of the parenting teens journey. Check it out. I am so excited to have Liz on today to talk about an incredibly relevant topic – kids and drugs. GAH. I know. No one really WANTS to talk about this, but we have to. Liz has been working in the field of substance use since 2000. Her current work involves working with community coalitions and organizations to provide training on prevention strategies as well as technical assistance to translate public health research into practice and implement a restorative trauma-informed approach to addressing public health problems. So basically, Liz is going to break it all down for us in a way that is helpful. She lives in Portland, Maine with her wife, two happy kids, and a puppy. Resources: https://the20minuteguide.com/ http://www.drugfree.org/ Good reading on the teen brain: Dan Siegel Brainstorm Francis Jensen The Teenage Brain Links for young people: http://www.teen.drugabuse.gov/ *This is National Institute of Drug Abuse website for teens http://www.protectwhatsnext.com/ *This is a website out of Colorado for young people specifically about marijuana use Where to find Liz: Birchlanestrategies.com (under-construction) Linked in Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today we are going wayyyyy back to revisit Episode 21, my conversation with Jessica Lahey about what it means to be an “autonomy supportive” parents. This was such a powerful revisit for me, four years later, as my kids settle into the teen years and all the challenges and celebrations they get to navigate. I would love to take away the pain and confusion that comes with this time – AND I know that my kids will have their deepest learning through experience… Such a great conversation! Jessica Lahey is smart and funny and real when it comes to talking straight up about how we rob our kids of their future when we protect the from failure... It doesn't matter if they are in the sandbox or a high school classroom, our kids only learn the tools for relationship, empathy and resiliency when we (parents) allow them the gift of discomfort, making mistakes and yes, failure. Listen in to this candid conversation and consider where you could pull back a bit, where you could allow your kids a little bit more room to learn from their missteps, to own when they've hurt someone, to problem solve it when they've left their homework or lunch at home (again!)... We all love our kids, we want them to grow into the fullest, best versions of themselves, sometimes that requires us to back off and let them figure some things out... You may be surprised by just how capable they are! Mentions: The book: The Gift of Failure by Jessica Lahey The article in the Atlantic that started it all: Why Parents Need to Let Their Children Fail Why Back to School Night Made Me Feel Like a Bad Mom Glennon Doyle Melton on momastry.com How to Raise and Adult by Julie Lythcott-Haims The Price of Privilege by Madeline Levine Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today we are going to revisit Episode 138, my conversation with Genevieve Simperingham about what peaceful parenting during the teen years looks like. Genevieve Simperingham is a counsellor, an AWARE parenting educator, a writer, a group facilitator, meditation teacher and founder of the Peaceful Parent Institute in New Zealand. Over the last 24 years, Genevieve has presented hundreds of workshops and courses. She has parented her own kids using attachment principles and she seeks to empower parents with the tools that result in increased harmony, trust and cooperation in the family unit. We are discussing peaceful parenting our teenagers. Join us! “It’s about bringing into your parenting not just how you should respond in this situation or in that situation and our different approaches and techniques (which are really, really important) but it’s all about who we are as a person and who our child is as a person and the dynamic and the energy between us.” “We shouldn’t be in fighter stance simply because we have teenagers.” What you’ll hear in this episode: What is peaceful parenting and how it is different than some of the more mainstream behaviorist parenting approaches. The Centre, Connect, Communicate approach Stress management, self care and healing trauma and how they relate to parenting The need for authenticity in empathy and curiosity The biggest hang-ups for parents around peaceful parenting teenagers Having tough conversations with your teens without shorting out the connection at the outset Setting and holding limits within the peaceful parenting framework Sex, drugs and alcohol use in teens - is it better to allow at home or to restrict? Reducing power struggles and rebellion Educating and empowering teens to make their own choices Reconnecting to move past conflict What does Joyful Courage mean to you? Joyful courage to me, it connects me with that last bit that we were just talking about, to me it’s about joy we feel in the heart and it takes a lot of courage to reconnect. So to me it’s about opening the heart and allowing the joy, the enjoyment of the relationship, of the connection to come back in and that takes courage. It takes courage to be vulnerable again. It’s easier to be hard and defensive and stern and it takes courage to open the heart come back to the joy of that beautiful connection again. Resources: Aware parenting Where to find Genevieve: The way of the Peaceful Parent Facebook Group Facebook Website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s show is a revisit of Episode 57, my conversation with Sharon Ballantine. With 3 children to parent, Sharon turned to books for help with parenting, but she never had the time to read and process the information in the books. So, with no other options available to her, she decided to rely on her own intuition and her own Internal Guidance System for parenting. She began using this technique and the law of attraction to manifest exactly what she wanted as a parent. In this episode, Sharon shares exactly how she made it all happen! Sharon Ballantine is a Parenting and Life Coach and Founder of the Ballantine Parenting Institute. Her book, The Art of Blissful Parenting, guides parents with practical as well as spiritual advice in raising their children. It also guides parents on how to get into alignment, discover and use their own IGS before they can teach their children. In this episode Sharon also discusses: How to find answers within yourself You have an internal guidance system that begins with your feelings Why leaving the room can help you get “in alignment” to parent Physical movement can be a tool to help bring you into a centered place of alignment Changing the subject that is causing stress and bad energy can cause a shift in energy The teenage years are the years of “personal discovery” Parents spend the teen years in fear mode and resort to using control Whoever a teenager is today is not their final destination. Be patient; they will change. Why we want to avoid making our children feel bad at all costs Staying centered will give you the coping skills to deal with any kind of crazy you have to deal with “This too shall pass” - it is true especially for teens Ways to deal with teen behavior that is harmful Focusing on the future and consequences of actions can allow a teen to take responsibility and look at the big picture How to support your child’s development of their Internal Guidance System Ways her failures as a parent contributed to finding her Internal Guidance System What joyful courage means to her and how it contributes to bliss Resources Mentioned on the Show: The Secret - Rhonda Byrne The Art of Blissful Parenting - Sharon Ballantine Connect with Sharon: Website - sharonballantine.com Facebook/sharonballantine Twitter/LifeCoachSB Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Shelley Francis. Shelly is an audiologist specializing in auditory processing disorder, and has been working with children for over 25 years. Over the years she has noticed a trend where more and more children are being seen as extra sensitive, not only with their physical senses but with their inner senses as well. By using her own sensitivities, she looks past a child's diagnosis and connects with their heart. Today Shelly remains motivated by both her passion to help children and her unique perspective in childhood development, which she has described in her book, No Child Left Unwrapped: Understanding and Honoring the Gifts Every Child is Born With. It's her hope that her book and her teachings will help create the needed paradigm shifts within our education system and within our society that will better support our beautiful sensory sensitive children of today. Join us! “Often we pigeonhole these children thinking that they need to be a certain way to be successful and then they can't be successful because that's not their nature. ” “There's so much more information out there to receive than just information through our five senses.” “Everybody needs to know that they're awesome.” “These children then just feel like there's, there's so much wrong with them, but they're never really getting what's right with them, what's good with them, what's awesome about them.” “Often the problem we see is a solution to a problem that we don't know about” “We are always looking at the external for the answer. What if the answer is someplace else?” “Nobody can deny the fact that we need more people that are empathic or empathetic and compassionate. And that's what we're getting.” “Let's help our kids when they're young or as early as possible so they don't have to go through as much of these challenges that we've had to go through, that other sensitive people have had to go through in the past.” “Entangled trauma for a sensitive soul is a recipe for disaster.” What you’ll hear in this episode: The difference between differences and disorder The need to recognize and honor differences Sensory differences - what are they and how do you recognize them? Sensory information, behavior and how they intersect The challenges of living heart wide open for kids who haven’t learned how to release the energy of others Baby steps for supporting sensitive kids The role of meditation as a tool Resilience: what it means and how we develop it Trauma, sensitivity and visualization to create filters for energy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey friends! Can’t believe that it is nearly halfway through June! - Book launch – IG Giveaway - JCA Teens program - NASAP and TP - Looking ahead at the summer - Planning for next fall o More JCA Teens o Possible JCA Tweens/Preteens o Live workshops/classes Today I want to get back to basics. I am a Positive Discipline Trainer. My recent time in Tucson at NASAP and co-facilitating the TP has brought me back to the building blocks of positive discipline…. I am also finding myself on exploratory calls with new clients who are eager to do one on one work and looking for resources to share what the philosophy of PD is all about, with the Joyful Courage spin, or course. So, I decided I would do a show about it. I am excited to share, and if you are someone who feels like you know all about PD, I invite you to listen from a place of curiosity and wonder – to catch yourself when you think “I know all of this” and shift into “what is here for me to learn?” Because that is one of my favorite things about this work – there are so many layers. Right when I think “oh yeah, NOW I get it” life throws me something new, or my kids step into a new place of development, or I just simply find myself back in my old ways of thinking (because it is so darn familiar) and I realize, yet again, that there is more to learn…. Excited? Me too. A lot of people hear the words, Positive Discipline and assume that it is all about being nice while we dole out consequences to our kids. Or they get really stuck on the word “positive “ and think it is all about being permissive and letting our kids run the show. Some people mistakenly believe that PD parents don’t ever want their kids to feel bad, and perhaps lump PD with helicoptering, coddling or enabling our kids. This is totally NOT what PD is all about. To start, one thing I really appreciate about Positive Discipline is that it is a program that has it’s roots in Adlerian Psychology. Alfred Adler was one of the first social psychologists. He worked with individuals and families and found, time and time again, that human behavior was motivated by a sense of belonging and significance. He found that we are always moving towards, or moving from, our sense of connection and knowing that we matter. And when behavior starts to look like mischief, it can be linked back to the individuals perception of belonging and significance. Jane Nelsen, the author and co-author of the library of Positive Discipline books, talks about belonging and significance as our longing for love and responsibility. - Kind and firm - Belonging and significance - Mutual respect/dignity for all - Encouragement - Social interest - Take time for training - The courage to be imperfect/mistakes as opportunities to learn - We always have a choice Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Lahana Vigliano. Lahana is a certified clinical nutritionist and CEO of Thrival Nutrition. She has her Bachelor's degree in Nutrition Science and currently is pursuing her Master's degree in Nutrition Science. Lahana and her team help support women who struggle with weight loss, hormone imbalances, digestive issues, chronic fatigue, and many other lingering issues that leaves women not feeling their best. She uses food as medicine as well as herbs and supplements when needed to support her clients. She looks at the whole body holistically, making sure women are understanding how nutrition, sleep, stress, and their environment impact their health. She creates tons of free resources on her blog, www.thrivalnutrition.com. We’re going to be discussing nutrition and stress. Join us! “In the question of “Am I doing enough?” We often are actually doing too much..” “Everybody's going to be okay if their schedule isn't completely jam-packed.” “We miss self-care opportunities just because we aren't in the mindset of recognizing that we're having a self-care opportunity” “Change isn't going to happen just because you want it to happen, but it will happen when we step into action.” What you’ll hear in this episode: What is cortisol and what does it do? How cortisol impacts brain growth in kids Most common stressors among parents How sleep interacts with cortisol Cortisol, appetite, and cravings Self-care and reframing what that looks like How much sleep we should be getting to maintain optimal health Finding time for sleep and self-care The stories we tell ourselves about food Making food prep easier Creating barriers around foods that don’t serve us Easy protein sources Ways to make vegetables more accessible Self-limiting beliefs around the scarcity of time and resources Learning to give yourself grace The power of doing something you love Prioritizing self-care to be able to care for others What does Joyful Courage mean to you? So I think just, as my life as a mom, a business owner, a wife, I think it just means to really live life to the fullest, you know, having no fear and just being filled with joy with everything that you do, no matter what season, no matter what time in your life because it's meant to be because it's building me up to be the person God created me to be. So I'm just kind of going through life with that mantra. Resources: Under Pressure by Lisa Damour Recipes on Lahana’s website Where to find Lahana: www.thrivalnutrition.com Facebook Instagram Thrival Nutrition Podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey everybody!!!! So happy to be back with you for another solo show – SO MUCH HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!! When I work with clients, I always start the hour with a grounding meditation, because I think we should ALL be dropping into the present moment more often, and then I ask, “What are you celebrating?” I love this question because it reminds my clients that there is always something to celebrate, something to look at as a gift. I know that sometimes if feels like a stretch, but when we challenge ourselves to find some gratitude, it shifts the energy, and opens up more possibilities. I am going to start this show with my own celebrations: First, I am celebrating all of the LOVE that the community has showered me with throughout this book launch – you people are AMAZING – thank you for the reviews you have written, the SM shout outs, the sweet comments you are sending my way. I do this work for all of us and I am so honored when you let me know that it makes a difference in your life! Another celebration is that I am getting the opportunity to practice NOT TAKING THINGS PERSONALLY with my kids lately. Like, a lot. Wrapping up the school year, the upcoming move, and a few other life experiences have upped the level of stress at our house, and the kids are navigating it the best they can. I experience them being irritated, withdrawn, annoyed, not wanting to talk to me, like, AT ALL….. Often this type of behavior is very easy to translate into, “why are you TREATING ME LIKE THIS??” or, “It hurts y feelings when you shut me out” which is actually what I said out loud…. And guess what? They are doing the best they can with the tools they have. They are navigating their life right now and the behavior is simply an INDICATOR that they are in it. It’s not about me. It’s not about me. It’s not about me…. Back to the celebration, I am in the fire of this! I am in the fire of this and THIS is my opportunity to walk my talk. THIS is when it matters that I CHOOSE to tell the story of “it’s not about me” – the goal is to NOT be in a co-dependent relationship with our children, right? So here it is. That chance to separate myself from my child’s experience/behavior and generate the emotions that I WANT to be feeling, regardless of what is happening for her. Fiercely committed, yes, lovingly detached, always a work in progress. Ok, are you ready for me to get on with it??? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Mother's Quest founder, Julie Neale. Julie honors both the meaning and the mess of life and parenthood and believes our children and youth challenge us to grow into our best selves. She is on a mission to live a truly epic life and through her example inspire her children to do the same her for purpose. Her for-purpose venture Mother's Quest provides inspiration, coaching, and community so that mothers and those who work with young people can connect to support and resources, fulfill their unique purpose and live their epic lives. After a 20 year career as a leader in youth-serving nonprofit organizations, Julie turned her focus to coaching training at the Coaches Training Institute and facilitating a process known as Reflection for youth development professionals. Through this and her parenting experience, she realized that mothers and those who mother need an opportunity to reflect on their own growth, dreams, and plans, and created Mother's Quest to champion them with common care . She masterfully taps into her own curiosity and intuition to help her clients slow down from the business of life and work, reflect on what matters, clarify a future vision and move into action. In the fall of 2017, she founded the Women Podcasters in Solidarity initiative to raise awareness and dollars for social justice issues through the power of podcasting. The first season focused on anti-racism and police accountability. We're going to talk more about that initiative on today's show. When she's not wrestling with her kindergartner or driving her team to basketball practice, you can find her squeezing in 10 minutes of yoga and meditation, believing something is better than nothing and staying up way too late to watch a double hitter of Handmaid's Tale and Super Soul Sunday. Join us! What you’ll hear in this episode: The importance of the modeling of continuing to grow and evolve as a human when that's the expectation we have of young people The value of holding a growth mindset around conversations about race Resources to learn about having conversations about race with our kids What is the Women Podcasters In Solidarity Initiative Giving our boys permission to cry and have emotion The power of conversation to create change Lessons learned from social justice activism How ego gets in the way of relationships Moving from transactional relationships to authentic connection Resources: Slay Like a Mother book The Mask of Motherhood Ted Talk Nicole Lee episode on Mother’s Quest podcast So You Want to Talk About Race - Ijeoma Oiuo womenpodcastersinsolidarity.com Ep 37: Generations Rising for Gun Safety with Gloria Pan Ep 07: Living Out Loud with Jenjii Hysten Ep 48: Lessons Learned Since Episode 24: Intersectionality and the Age of the New Heroine with Elizabeth Cronise McLaughlin Moms Rising Ep 54: Superheroes, Fighting Patriarchy, and Courageously Defeating Gun Violence with Ladd Everitt One Pulse for America Masterminds and Wingmen - Rosalind Wiseman Ep 55: From Grief to Advocacy and a Circle of Mothers with Trayvon Martin’s Mother Sybrina Fulton The Trayvon Martin Foundation Circle of Mothers retreat Lucy McBath’s Story Mothers Against Police Brutality EP33: Beyond the Trauma: Legacy, Compassion and Change with Mothers Against Police Brutality Co-Founder Sara Mokuria EP27: On Living an E.P.I.C. Life with Julie Neale Ep 49: A Conversation About Courage with Sage Hobbs and Julie Neale Where to find Julie: Mothersquest.com Mother's Quest Podcast Mother's Quest Facebook group Mother's Quest business page Mother’s Quest Instagram [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Heyyyyyy you! So much excitement – we got out house, kids are on board, book is getting attention, work is good…. Having the experience of seeing all that is abundant in my life has got me to thinking about how I have in the past seen abundance in the lives of others and thought “that will never be me” “I can’t do that” blah blah blah – and I’ve realized that in changing the story, I have changed what has unfolded in my life….. Its amazing. Our story keeps us where we are Listening to a lot of law of attraction – familiar? IF not, let me read what it is from the lawofattraction.com - Simply put, the Law of Attraction is the ability to attract into our lives whatever we are focusing on. It is believed that regardless of age, nationality or religious belief, we are all susceptible to the laws which govern the Universe, including the Law of Attraction. It is the Law of Attraction which uses the power of the mind to translate whatever is in our thoughts and materialize them into reality. In basic terms, all thoughts turn into things eventually. If you focus on negative doom and gloom you will remain under that cloud. If you focus on positive thoughts and have goals that you aim to achieve you will find a way to achieve them with massive action. We live our stories, we tell the stories we live, we live the story, we tell the story…. Sometimes that can keep us stuck. It isn’t the “stuck” that is bad, it is whether or not we WANT to be stuck where we are that we get to be aware of…. For example – When the life you are experiencing feels really hard and you see your kids as out of control…. And you talk about it with your partner and maybe your friends, and then you experience more of it, and you share with your mom or your therapist, and then there it is again, the hard, the heavy, someone asks you how you are, you give a big sigh and you respond with “I’m ok, things are hard” and the cycle continues to spin over and over and over. Where is there space for something new? Where is there room to BELIEVE that there is another possibility?? That is where you are. You are resigned. Done and done. A contrasting picture is one where things are going really well…. Kids are thriving, relationship is good, business is booming, there are so many possibilities opening up for you, and you talk about it with your partner and maybe your friends, and then you experience more of it, and you share with your mom or your therapist, and then there it is again, the trust, the excitement, someone asks you how you are, you give a big smile and you respond with “I’m amazing, things are so good” and the cycle continues to spin over and over and over. This space feels expansive, it feels like there is an expectancy of more goodness, you believe in possibility, you are open and hopeful. We get to stay in our lane. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Anna Seewald. Anna is a Parent Educator, Keynote Speaker, Author and Host of The Authentic Parenting Podcast. With background in psychology and education, having worked with children for 18 years, today she helps conscious moms and dads to become calm and connected to themselves and their children through trauma-informed education. She believes in helping children by helping parents. She has a private practice that specializes in parent education, where she provides one-on-one parent coaching, parenting, court ordered, and co-parenting classes. www.authenticparenting.com What you’ll hear in this episode: What is emotional regulation? Gaining perspective on what it means when our child is emotionally dysregulated Why toddlers struggle with emotional regulation How emotional dysregulation of kids triggers parents How stress contributes to emotional dysregulation in parents How emotional regulation supports conflict resolution, jobs, relationships, academics What is co-regulation? How parents can stay regulated The Four-Step Calm Formula Coaching your child’s emotional regulation The role of compassion in emotional regulation Assessing the level of urgency in an emotionally dysregulated situation Language and emotional dysregulation Mindfulness and emotional dysregulation Validating our children’s feelings in a way that matches the intensity of their distress The impact of dysregulation on the verbal centers of the brain Dealing with emotional dysregulation under time constraints Post-dysregulation problem solving and how to nurture it What to do when your child won’t talk about their feelings The power of relationship in bringing emotional regulation Tips for listeners who are looking to get better at helping their children grow their self-regulation skills or themselves Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today is solo show – woohoo!! I’ve been missing you all. I am so excited to have been interviewed by some amazing gals out there in the Podcast world. Anna Seewald of the Authentic Parenting Podcast – www.authenticparenting.com/podcast had me on and we talked about building trust – both in ourselves and our kids. Loved every minute of it and can’t WAIT to meet Anna in person at her conference in May, the Authentic Parenting Conference – www.authenticparenting.com/conference. Today I want to talk about a mantra that I have found useful time and time again. I learned it from a friend and mentor of mine – shout out to Denise Yost! – we saw each other for the first time in a while and when I asked her how she was, she responded with “fiercely committed, and lovingly detached” Fiercely committed, lovingly detached. What it means to be fiercely committed? Creating the environment Meeting their needs Advocating for them Being kind and firm Encouraging them What does it mean to be lovingly detached? Allowing them to be who they are Allowing for them to build resiliency through navigating natural consequences Allowing them to be uncomfortable Trusting that they are on THEIR journey Letting go Giving them responsibility over their lives What gets in the way? Our dreams/vision for them Our past/failures/mistakes Our assumptions Our addiction to what other people think Our insecurity about “doing it wrong” Our emotional regulation (or lack of) Our lens of the “right/wrong” way What will help us move towards “fiercely committed, lovingly detached”? Two list exercise. Challenges Everyone probably has a really similar list – YAY! Gifts Doubt that you have any particular job description… What about “happy”? Can we hope for content? Can we hope for healthy coping skills and resiliency? Can we hope for grounded and empowered? Remember the challenges are at the tip of the iceberg – and anything we “do” with the challenges should somehow, someway, teach/model/or allow our kids to PRACTICE the life skills we want them to embody. A bit about DO. So often parents want to know WHAT DO I DO?? In the moment tools This is a narrow mindset PD is a broader lens than in the moment. TRSUT in developing relationship TRUST that kids do better when they feel batter TRUST that all humans what to be connected and know that they matter and have influence In the moment? Keep everyone SAFE Acknowledge your child’s experience Look for solutions and/or ways of making things right They are doing the best they can with the tools they have in the moment. Just because they can tell you what they will do better next time during a calm moment does NOT mean they will access that when they are flipped Not about being naughty/bad – its about relationship, tools and practice Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Simone Davis. Simone is the author of the new book, The Montessori Toddler. Simone is an AMI Association Montessori International Montessori Educator. She lives in Amsterdam where she runs parent-child Montessori classes at Jacaranda Tree Montessori. Simone is the author of a popular blog, The Montessori Notebook. She is also mother to two young adults. We will be discussing toddlers. Join us! "In Montessori it's an alternative education system where we're actually following each unique child on their own unique individual development.” “We start to think that toddlers are giving us a hard time when actually it's them having a hard time.” “We help them as much as necessary and as little as possible.” “Montessori is somewhere in between, we call it freedom within limits.” “It's really just how to communicate in an effective, respectful way.” “it's really about trusting your child that they're on their own unique timeline and that they're different to everybody else.” “I think of us as planting that seed as well and nurturing it so that we really recognize that each child's individual, how can I support and help them become the best version of themselves?” What you’ll hear in this episode: What the Montessori philosophy is all about The role of multi-age modeling in a Montessori environment The importance of taking time for training Preparing the environment and what that looks like How Montessori builds community and independence Teaching kids to care for things and each other: values-based learning How breaking down steps reduces assumptions and frustration The benefits of the Montessori approach Applying Montessori principles to your home What gets in the way of parents for seeing the gifts of the toddler years Practicing neutral observation without assumption like a scientist How the quest for Independence is similar in the teen and toddler years Setting kind and clear limits The value of a rich language environment with the space to try new things Getting comfortable with repeating yourself The role of making amends and modeling doing so yourself The most important thing for parents of young children to know in order to shift into the Montessori mindset Resources: Dan Siegel hand model of the brain video “The Montessori Toddler” book Where to find Simone: Website Facebook Instagram Youtube Pinterest Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage. Raising our children while growing ourselves... :::: Winging it in the closet! Thank you for the review, Lauren! Listening to my clients and group participants…. Amazing the expansive way we can see/here for the other person. The idea that kids get into mischief, make mistakes, AND well meaning, loving parents get stuck into thinking “they are manipulating me/trying to get what they want/playng me” Foundation of Adlerian theory – behavior being movement in the direction of belonging and significance As young children – always perceiving/interpreting/beliefs/action (private logic) Do I belong? Do I matter? Do I have influence? Am I safe? We are asking and answering those questions through our own lens, which has been developed over time, through experience and relationships we have lived through Kids are cut and dry, their private logic is experienced as “truth” Perception of emotional safety matters “I’m curious… I notice you don’t want to talk about problems after the fact…. Can you tell me about that?” Goal is to help them observe themselves Having a conversation about the conversation Curiosity has no agenda, it’s not a “method” Curiosity is non-judgmental and open THIS TAKES PRACTICE PEOPLE! Call it out when the space feels judge-y and own what we have brought in the past Asking VS Telling Experiential activity Play with this!! Remember there are layers!! ::::: Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. Presale is April 10th – as many of you as possible buying presale would be FABULOUS. Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/book Official launch date is May 20th – OMG – so so exciting!!! The best way to stay up to date on the book news is to join my newsletter list, if you haven’t already. Sign up at www.joyfulcourage.com/join Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!! I appreciate you and we are ALMOST THERE!!!! :::: Authentic Parenting Conference Anna Seewald, host of the Authentic Parenting Podcast, and parent coach, has put together a steller day of learning and growing together in New Brunswick, NJ. I am so excited about it that I decided that I WANTED TO GO TOO!! I am going to be there, Dr. Laura Markham will be delivering a keynote (ah-maze-ing), and the whole thing just looks like super soul care on fire. If you are interested, click here https://authenticparenting.com/conference and use the discount code JOYFUL25 for $25 off the registration fee!! Come play with me!! ::::: Be a Subscriber Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!! AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!! CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Meagan Wilson. Meagan is the founder of Whole Family Rhythms and living out her mission of helping other mothers, caregivers, and educators to create more clarity and balance within the home. Meagan’s website and seasonal Guides provide support, information, and resources on conscious parenting inspired by the earth, the seasons, and each family’s own unique values. Together, a community of over 25 thousand like-minded Mothers and educators gather each day on her Instagram feed to discuss parenting with love, connection and rhythm. "Connecting with your family values is this parenting partner exercise.” “Visual cues, no matter what, they are always very helpful.” What you’ll hear in this episode: What living with the rhythms of the earth and the seasons means What it means to align your life with your values How to document your family values in a meaningful way Discussing your values as co-parents with extended family and caregivers Routine vs rhythm, in-breath vs out-breath times and what it all means Using visuals to create daily habits What it means to be a loving authority Being the author of the boundaries that you're holding Natural consequences - what they are Connecting to something higher than yourself - not necessarily religion Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey there!!! Myths of Positive Parenting That everything is peaceful all the time PD activity that shows the continuum between kindness and firmness parenting styles Kind AND firm can feel elusive We are all human beings having a human experience Kids and teens are perceiving what is happening around them, and making meaning out of what they are perceiving. They filter the world through their individual, developing lens – it makes sense that they get it wrong and response in a way that seems…. well…. Inconvenient. Our kids and teens are in the process of DEVELOPING and LEARNING life skills. They’ve had limited experience. They are doing the best they can with the tools they have. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Dr. Sarah Bergman Lewis. Before attending medical school ,Sarah helped to found a middle school called the Seattle Girls' School. As part of her 5 years with the Seattle girls' school she did admission and taught 6th grade Sarah attended University of Washington Medical School. She completed her pediatric residency at Seattle Children's, has worked in urgent care at Seattle Children's Hospital, then as a primary care physician. She and her family later travelled to Guatemala for 3 months where she worked in a local hospital and her kids attended school. Her family will return again this year for a visit and to help launch a partnership between a group of Seattle pediatricians and the Guatemalan hospital. Outside of works there is pursuing her yoga teaching training certificate and enjoys learning about sharing Integrative Medicine tools with her patients as part of a collaboration between Odessa Brown Children's Clinic and Arc of King County. She is helping devise the curriculum for a mindful self compassion course for Spanish speaking parents which she will co-facilitate in the spring. Her husband Steve is a nonprofit executive director. She is a mom of two delightful children. Today we are talking about navigating our own self-healing. Join us! What you’ll hear in this episode: Parenting from wholeness, not fear Adverse childhood events and how they affect parents and parenting Adverse childhood events study explained The dose response effect to adverse childhood events How ACE scores impact health (physical and mental) risks The shadow side of resilience Behavior as a solution to a problem we don’t know about Epigenetics, what is it and what does it have to do with behavior? Being aware of what drives our internal “shark music” Exercising self-compassion around when you’re going to work on your issues How the way we talk to ourselves impacts how we talk to people in our family What embodiment means Encouraging embodiment in our kids Guiding conversations about embodiment Discussing screen time with our kids Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

First – let me tell you how much I love the show, Parenthood, on Netflix.... Casey is on solo with you today digging into what it means to trust the process in the context of parenting, Positive Discipline, and leaning on our relationship as the most powerful way to influence our kids behavior. What does this mean? Hitting stage Homework stage The relationships/ life skill development journey When we are stuck in a place with our kids it is easy to believe that it will “always be like this” Change happens over time If we want something to be different we have to BE different The dance we do with our kids has explicit steps, well choreographed over time All it take is one person to change the dance (YOU) What it means to be in an honest open relationship with your children What can feel like the dark side Curiosity and stalling when you don’t know what to do Notice your fear and let it guide you to pausing Gather your resources Listen to your gut How to voice concerns without blaming or condemning (thermometer activity) Encouraging vs discouraging out kids When they are discouraged by OUR behavior they shift OUT OF taking responsibility or even thinking about their own behavior Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Bonnie J. Rough, who is an author, journalist, and speaker focusing on families, health, education, parenting and sexuality. Her latest book is Beyond Birds & Bees: Bringing Home a New Message to Our Kids about Sex, Love, and Equality. has written recently for the New York Times on t eaching young children about boundaries and consent and the value of childhood crushes , The Atlantic on both the link between sex ed and gender equality and improving school sex ed , the Washington Post on why it’s important to teach sex ed in mixed-gender groups , and New York Magazine on raising kids without sexual shame . Join us! "What I learned is that the focus on helping kids wait longer is really not and should not be the end all. It’s really more about how can we prepare them to have a positive experience.” “The Dutch parents who I met and the American ones too who have inspired me on this really are prioritizing their relationship with their kids over their ideals about what and when their kids will do things.” “If we have those open lines of communication we actually have more control than if we forbid.” “The more open and transparent we can be with our kids the better.” What you’ll hear in this episode: Cultural differences between the US and Amsterdam around gender equality, nudity, and sexuality Normalizing conversations about sexuality Separating nudity from eroticism Differences in sexual health outcomes between US and Dutch teenagers Ways to keep lines of communication open with your kids Double standards applied to boys and girls Why helping your child maintain cross-gender friendships The importance of knowing your kids’ friends What the research says about teenage sex What to do when you feel you’re late to the party in talking to your kids about sex The importance of not having an agenda when having those curious conversations with kids Owning when we feel awkward or uncomfortable Navigating fear and baggage to become available for conversations with our kids Expanding our own knowledge base to have better conversations Where to find Bonnie: Website Twitter Facebook Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How we influence the iceberg Clients come to me to talk about kids behavior Battles over homework Power struggles Screen time addiction Getting out the door We are mega focused on fixing those problems The iceberg- behavior we see is a solution to a problem that we may or may not know about Example that we played with a few weeks ago in parenting class: Child won’t get ready to go in the morning and family is late getting out the door Two options for response: What do I have to do to this kid to get her to cooperate? Bribes, threats, punishments What is happening for this child that is getting in the way? Go to the source Tell me about the mornings…. I notice that…. How are you feeling….. With new information you can make a plan together to support the child (and you)n in doing better Transparency Rowan talking about the future Agitated, closed off, defensive Often my response is irritated that she cant “have” the convo We both are discouraged and the convo is over Maybe I am engaging the wrong conversation Helpful to know what shows up for her when the invitation is to talk about future What is the experience? IS it only with me or others? Might there be a benefit to talking with someone else if not me? What would be useful about having a vision of the future? Deeper even still I notice when this is the conversation you….. I am curious about that? How does it feel when…..? Sometimes our kids refuse to go there…. How do we let go? What do they need? Recognizing/acknowledging our tendency to hold on/get rigid/ let fear or our agenda drive us…. Mutual respect – respect for child and for self and the situation Honor who they are and their temperament I am ALL IN, lets go deep and swirl around and grow and learn and be super transparent and get it all out – don’t hold back. I process out loud and in the moment…. This is not the way of everyone, def not my daughter. Summing it up: Recognize how we are contributing to challenges Own it, and get curious about your child’s experience. Identify the ACTUAL problem Be an open, nonjudgmental listener Look for solutions (related respectful reasonable helpful) Be respectful Honor who you child is in word and action Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Sid Garza-Hillman, who is a podcaster and youtuber. He's the author of Approaching the Natural: A Health Manifesto and Raising Healthy Parents, Small Steps, Less Stress and a Thriving Family. Sid graduated from UCLA with a BA in philosophy and is a public speaker, certified nutritionist and Small Steps Coach. He teaches people around the world his unique small steps approach to healthy living at www.smallsteppers.com. His latest podcast, What Sid Thinks is currently available on iTunes. Sid is the Wellness Programs Director at the Stanford Inn Eco Resort. He's an ultra runner and race director for the Mendocino coast 50k trail ultra marathon. Join us! "However you want to parent, you can't pull that off unless you're feeling good in your life” “If we can sort of tip the scales in our favor most of the time, then we win the day” “We are not robots. Our kids aren't robots. We're humans with human emotions and experiences and lenses and it's just so messy.” “If we can really focus on how we be and how we show up, that's going to inspire, inform, empower and influence what we do.” “Maybe the perfect version of the human being is one that that is about self care and compassion and has a core of ethic that informs their actions most of the time. ” “Who am I at my best?” “You've been defining yourself by how you've been in the external world, when that's been in complete conflict with actually what you stand for and what you value.” What you’ll hear in this episode: Breaking old patterns and habits - managing expectations The knowledge and implementation gap Small Stepping - what is it and what does Are poor choices your problem or your solution? Finding ways to manage stress and making choices to increase the likelihood of success Dissipating stress - making healthier choices to do so Setting the stage for actual change vs relying on willpower Identifying who you are as a parent Reminding yourself of who you are Change as a process of coming into alignment with who you really are Mistakes as a way to model the human experience Dealing with making mistakes with your kids What is a small step? The Goldilocks effect of stress - what is it and how do you find it?? The value of outside interests in parenting and relationships The role of joy in how you show up as a parent Finding 10 minute pockets of joy and what to fill it with The role of self care in our attitude towards parenting Resources: Raising Healthy Parents: Small Steps, Less Stress and a Thriving Family Approaching the Natural: A Health Manifesto Small Steppers Where to find Sid: Website What Sid Thinks Podcast Youtube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Screens Why? It is coming up in the Joyful Courage Parents of Teens community, it is coming up in calls with clients, it is coming up in my own life and practice with my kids FOR CERTAIN: it is a big pain in the ass Today I am going to share and inquiry from my own experience – not because I know the way, or I have it all figured out, but because I am IN IT with you. Remember last April when I had Dr. Delaney Runston on and we talked about her documentary, Screenagers? There are so many pearls of wisdom and research in my convo with her – be sure to listen or relisten - http://www.joyfulcourage.com/podcast/140 I also had a powerful conversation with one of my colleagues, a positive discipline Lead trainer, about this during the teen summit, which is available to invest in through the end of this month at joyfulcourage.com/teensummit I spoke with Kim Muench about this back in episode 82 – Parenting in the Age of Smart phones… Plus, it has come up in loads of other conversations IT’S NOT GOING AWAY Here are some of the pain points I am hearing from the community AND experiencing myself: Limits and boundaries How much to monitor Broken agreements The arguing The internet is forever How will they develop real relationship skills when everything is over text/IM/Snaps Online/SM bullying Sexting/nudes How much time is too much time to be on their phones How to be the lone parents who waits to get their child a phone How to support kids with friends when they don’t have SM/phones Restricting what they do/see on their devices Begin real and honest about our OWN (parents) phone use Using devices as avoidance/escape Let’s check in with the kids: How did you feel about making agreements about screens? What is your experience with social media? What do you not like about the phone and SM? What kinds of things do you see happening? Where do you feel like it gets in the way of life? Or do you? What do you like about it? How do you feel about me when I am on your case about your phone use? What do you see me modeling with my phone use? You have some restrictions on your phone – is that helpful? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Oren Jay Sofer, the author of Say What You Mean - A Mindful Approach to Non-Violent Communication. He leads retreats and workshops on mindful communication at meditation centres and education settings around the US. Oren is a graduate of the IMS Spirit Rock teacher training program. He holds a degree in comparative religion from Columbia University, teaches in the Insight Meditation community and is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and a certified trainer of non-violent communication. Oren creates mindfulness training programs for a number of organizations including Mindful Schools, Kaiser Permanente, and 10% Happier. He lives in Richmond, California. Join us! "If we can’t actually listen to each other and have a meaningful conversation when we disagree, it’s impossible to work together to address the challenges that we’re facing” “We can’t wait for the opportunities where presence is needed to practice presence.” “Even when we can't meet our child's needs we can help them to know and recognize that their needs matter to us.” “Our feelings are a reflection of our needs.” What you’ll hear in this episode: Being in response vs reaction Communication as a way of navigating conflict mindfully 3 foundations for successful conversations and effective communication The role of presence in communication The ambient stress of raising a child Owning our responses in times of stress Exercising self-compassion in relation to parenting-related stress Integrating moments of awareness into your day Creating daily rituals into mindfulness Mindfulness as a way to mitigate cumulative stress Mindfulness as a way to be present in our relationships Mindfulness as awareness and a way to raise our baseline kindness and presence Preparing for parenting with mindfulness through practicing Practice as a way of creating a new way of being Creating awareness of the impact of our actions on others Discussing our needs instead of blame Being realistic about our ability to meet all of our child’s needs Intention in communication and mindfulness Approaching communication from a place of curiosity and care Curiosity as a way of being The need for intention to be genuine Feelings of a reflection of needs Increasing emotional literacy to enhance communication Helping children to problem solve as an alternative to “consequences” Connecting before correcting Conflict as an opportunity for learning Where to start when you realize you need to improve your communication Learning to pause, be curious and consider the needs of others Connection through perspective shift Resources: Say What You Mean book Parenting From Your Heart: Sharing the Gifts of Compassion, Connection, and Choice (Nonviolent Communication Guides) Text “guided” 44222 to sign up for a short ebook and free guided meditation series Where to find Oren: Website Instagram Facebook Twitter LinkedIn Youtube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Recap of the summit What happens when we start having real conversations? Community/support Seeing participants in real life Recognizing our attachments and course correcting Gratitude to guests Gratitude to participants $109 and it is your for eva Saw Brene Brown Seen before Appreciate her realness Familiar stories Story of daughter swimming and conversation around being brave IS winning Are these the conversations we are having with our kids? Are we explicit? What we notice and what we speak Life skills/qualities Negativity bias How often they ARE using tools/skills – it’s just when they don’t if feels so PAINFUL Our expectation of mastery Layers going on under the surface (meaning of behavior with Alison Smith 110, Iceberg Metaphor solo show 129) What it takes to stay focused under the surface Vulnerability and humility – it may not be about you Faith Trust/surrender – let go of your attachment to how you think it should be, and also the idea that you KNOW what’s happening for your child when they haven’t expressed it The idea that all humans ultimately want connecting and to know they matter. All of them. We are hard wired to connect Our language and messages: Week three at MMS we dug into encouragement vs praise Process oriented Really seeing the child Naming qualities with evidence My story this morning with the waffles and “what do I do with the mix?” I notice, I appreciate, I trust/know/have faith Not for the short term/immediate – but for the long term, internal voice (ep 136 with Kelly Bos about how NOT to become the voice of your child’s inner critic) it is about below the surface, about supporting our kids in changing what they believe about themselves I am going to do a webinar this month in the Patreon community to diver deeper into encouragement and I hope you join in! The Joyful Courage Super Fam is a group of parents who are giving $10/month to the podcast to support in the sustainability and create a win/win. Members of the community enjoy monthly webinars and online support through our closed facebook page. Check it out at www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage Have a beautiful week my friends!! I am going to be watching my tone this week and really working on the sometimes unspoken messages I am sending to my kids when I am less than mindful of what I am doing – and clean up any messes along the way. Big love!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Rachel Butler. She is an executive and professional coach, an organizational health expert, a wife and mother of 2 boys she is one of those unique women who is both powerhouse and presence. She's a master in organizational systems and she's worked with over 325 organizations. Rachel embodies what it means to be an empowered woman and a conscious mom. Rachel and her mama business partner Gillian Rowinski are the voices behind Unlearning SuperMom a feminist website that supports equal rights and opportunities for women and empowering all of us. We will be discussing Unlearning SuperMom. Join us! "Our culture has clearly defined what being a good mom should look like and it is oppressive. The martyrdom of being busy, being agreeable, putting everyone else first, running yourself ragged. If super mom is who we become when we are in this world with our eyes closed then unlearning her is a deeply courageous feminist act.” “Are we doing it because it's a “should” or are we doing it because it’s something that brings us joy?” “It’s really hard not to get into comparison-itis.” “I sort of reject that idea that the major measure of success in parenting is enjoying it” What you’ll hear in this episode: -The impact of childcare costs on returning to work for moms -The emotional conflict about returning to work -Keeping it real as a mom -Who is super mom and where does she come from? -Re-learning our inherent self-worth that is not based in accomplishment -Motherhood and martyrdom: when we put ourselves last -Motherhood messaging and where it comes from -History of motherhood and women’s work -The perceived value of women based on their relationship with their children -Child centred social media messages and guilt -The value of the messy middle -Being aware of social media messaging and how it impacts us -Where do you start unlearning super mom? -Ways to dip your toe in to shifting towards unlearning super mom -Stages of learning from awareness -The mental load we carry -Checking in with your body Resources: Women Who Run With The Wolves 16 Second Meditation Unlearning Supermom Retreat Where to find Sara: Unlearning Supermom Instagram Facebook Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today is a solo show all about being the calm inside the storm. That is the dream, isn’t it?? Listen in as I tease apart what this means and offer ideas and strategies around hwo to get there more often. · Parenting class · Summit · Podcast conversations · E+R=O · Events and experiences…. 3 Bs · What if nothing changes? · What if all we have is how we feel inside of the experience? · What do we want to BE/FEEL/CREATE?? · Feedback matters – internal vs external validation · Parenting is a PART of our life that can feel like our WHOLE life · Energy of emotion · Personal work, small steps with Sid, ACES with Sarah – unlearning supermom · Stuck in what it should look like · What about acceptance of what is? What about surrender to not knowing the outcome? · Influence yes. Hard work and practice, yes. · AND you decide how to respond from life --- worry fear, that is the present moment experience you create. Openness, love, that is the present moment experience you create. · Think about, bring about – energetically we are always influencing our life, our experience Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage. Raising our children while growing ourselves... ::: Join Patreon Sign up to be a part of the Patreon community today!! You will enjoy monthly webinars, online coaching and support from a caring community of like minded parents. Click here for more information. ::: Today’s guest is Sara Harvey Yao. Sara is a leadership consultant who has developed more than 4,000 leaders across the globe. She specializes in helping leaders navigate pressure and stress by staying present in the moment. Sara is the author of two books, Get Present and Drop In. She’s the mother of two teen boys and can speak firsthand to how the power of presence can transform the parenting experience. We will be discussing. Join us! "Naming feelings opens the doorways for the energy of emotion to metabolize.” “When we’re in emotion, we’re in a different part of our brain than the language center so it’s often hard to articulate what we’re feeling.” “Anger...is a signal fire. Something is going on here. It’s a sign your boundaries have been crossed.” What you’ll hear in this episode: -How naming emotions helps us process them -Facilitating our movement through emotions in the parenting journey -The power of acknowledging, even to ourselves, when we are struggling -Feeling vs thinking -Attitudes and beliefs about feelings that contribute to feeling “stuck” -Helping our kids name and process feelings and the role of modeling -Normalizing emotions for our kids -Anger as a secondary emotion -What’s really under anger -Exploring our triggers and where our feelings are coming from -Establishing a common language with your kids to discuss feelings -How to support ourselves and our kids to regulate emotions What does Joyful Courage mean to you? The courage to try something new and if that’s new to, I’m going to try a new parenting technique, if that means I’m going to sit with a feeling instead of stuffing it, I’m actually going to say something instead of not saying something, any new behavior to me takes deep, deep, deep courage and when we take those leaps into courage, for me it always ends up being really joyful. There’s such an empowered, a sense of empowerment and it leads to new opportunities or new directions that I might not have known about if I hadn’t been courageous. So those two words fit so beautifully together, it’s just joyful courageousness when we try something new. Resources: Get Present Drop In Dan Siegel, Flipping Your Lid Listen to past show with Sara: Episode 68 Listen to Mindfulness Min Summit Where to find Sara: Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn ::: Audio Summit for Parents of Teens One week of real conversations PD trainers who have already been through it The launch starts January 1st Summit will run January 28th – February 1st REGISTER NOW – www.joyfulcourage.com/teensummit ::::: Be a Subscriber Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!! AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!! CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Happy New Year!! Hope everyone had an easy breezy holiday. Grateful to friends and family and all the ways we were supported to enjoy the season. So much to be excited about. Compassion and integrity. Today, I am going to share a bit about a book I am reading that is really blowing my mind, it is called The Path is Everywhere; uncovering the jewels hidden within you, by Matt Lacata. If you’ve listened to the show for very long, you know that I love my energy worker/reiki master friend (shout out to Jessica) and she has turned me on to the work of Matt. I am using this book as part of my soul care time, reading a few pages in the morning to gather inspiration. I am not very far into the book, and what I read this morning gave me pause and I decided that now would be the perfect time to bring it here to discuss with all of you. The first part of the book is about what the author calls our “shadow” – this is the part of ourselves that lays dormant until it is jostled into wakefulness. Another way to make sense of it is the way that we feel when we are triggered. Our shadow is who takes over when we are riding the emotional freight train. The parts of ourselves that we may cloak in shame or guilt – the parts that we keep hidden. Most of us have a tendency to want to hide our shadow, keep it deep inside of ourselves, not let it see the light of day. Many of us may think we are pretty successful with this – until we aren’t. A lot of the clients I see come to me because their shadow is making appearances in the parenting journey and they want to fix it, they want to make it go away. I have a shadow as well – she wants control and order, she wants to know the outcome, and she wants everyone to be on her agenda. My shadow takes the behavior of others deeply personally, quickly manifesting fear, rejection and disrespect whenever I experience criticism and ridicule. My shadow, your shadow – our shadows are a part of who we are. And if, like me, you subscribe to life being purposeful, then perhaps our shadow isn’t something that we should turn away from, or get rid of. Perhaps our shadow is something we can turn towards and get curious about. You all know that I love the personal growth and development conversation. You know that I see parenting as one long personal growth and development workshop. And if you have been listening for any length of time, you know that I am deeply invested in supporting others in doing this work along with me. This is why I am talking about shadow work today. On a personal note – I want to share solidarity to all of you that deal with partners overseas and single parents. Ben has left us to do some big work in California on the electrical grid. We don’t know how long the work down there will take – could be months. I know it isn’t the SAME as being a single parent, I know that I have the luxury of knowing my partner will be coming home eventually, but I am looking at an extended period of time holding space for the kids without their dad here…. Clearly I will have ample opportunity to lean into the TRUTH of my experiences vs finding short term relief from what triggers me… Self care will be crucial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s content: Parenting through the self doubt and worry Parenting teens – why have a separate group? What is missing from the resources? The continuum of behavior Attachment and getting a life Intuition and trusting your gut It gets ugly Feeling isolated/shame/ Lisa Fuller episode 87 Why meditation/yoga/journaling matters What it really means to be aware The tight rope Kimberly Muench eps 158 Pendulum swing Trust and surrender over and over again It’s a crap shoot – the myth of “good parenting” It’s their journey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Stacy Davison. Stacy is an instructional coach, entrepreneur, new mom to a rainbow baby boy. Last year Stacy and her husband started the company Personal Peptalk, a line of motivational and uplifting products which they design, illustrate, and self-publish. In her weekly motivational email on her podcast Stacy candidly shares how she dominates life challenges more mindfully. We will be discussing positivity in parenting and life. Join us! "It’s easy to meditate up on the mountain top but eventually you have to come down and buy groceries.” What you’ll hear in this episode: Finding zen where we are - preparing for the Super Bowl moments The challenges of motherhood and the importance of being real about that Shifting perspective on suffering Choosing love, joy and compassion in moments of difficulty How hanging onto suffering hurts us Letting go of people pleasing to ask for what you need Positivity in times of sorrow Supporting friends in times of loss Love bombs - what they are, how they help Shifting to empowerment and choosing what you want to cultivate Being a joy detective Choosing not to be defined by the things that have happened Resources: Pep Talk Decks Where to find: Personal Pep Talk website - sign up for her Monday Morning Motivation Personal Pep Talk podcast | Personal Pep Talk Instagram | Personal Pep Talk Tattoos | Personal Pep Talk Facebook Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Solo show! News: No shows in December, Happy Holidays! January Parenting Teens Audio Summit, YAY!! Launching the first of January – stay tuned to register Summit is live January 21st – 25th Validation, inspiration, nuggets to PRACTICE Patreon Woop woop Alternative to membership program Opportunity to be in exchange of energy patreon.com/joyfulcourage $1, $5, $10/month options $10 private FB group, Chaos to Calm Ecourse, monthly Webinar based on the questions that are coming up in the group This week’s content: Positive parenting is easy when there isn’t a lot of challenge – more challenging when our kids are rubbing up against our triggers Toolbox metaphor Higher our emotion, more likely we use desperate tools (rewards and punishment) The more tools we put in to toolbox, the more likely it is that the ineffective tools of rewards and punishment slide to the bottom We can always do better Relationship matters!!!!!! When our relationships are disconnected, navigating behavior in a harsh way isn’t useful for anyone Fear takes us towards harsh punishment Mistakes are opportunities to learn There are always consequences Inviting out kids into relationship Can feel uncomfortable Taking accountability for how the relationship currently is and get vulnerable Just because it’s hard doesn’t mean we stop being curious with our kids Start paying attention to the body Support ourselves by noticing what is happening inside We get more access to our toolbox when we are grounded and neutral At the end of the day what is most useful is your relationship NOT permission for being a permissive parent – still hold boundaries Stronger relationship the more likely your child will open up and talk to you Creating an environment where our kids can thrive and be a soft landing when they get it wrong Shame/blame does not promote accountability and personal responsibility Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices