Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

I am so excited to welcome my guest, Dona Bumgarner! Dona is a life coach for frustrated moms who are exhausted living in a culture that doesn’t support them well, which can lead to feeling very out of control of their own time and energy. In her work, Dona helps mothers re-engage with their own desires and design a mothering style and family life that feels authentic to their personal values and goals. She believes that when parents have their needs met, they have more energy and patience to engage with their children in healthy and productive ways. Today we are going to discuss how to recover space for ourselves after our family has weathered a crisis that may have caused us to put everything on hold. Where to find Dona: Website | Facebook | Instagram | Pinterest Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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SUPER FAM My guest today is Cynthia Klein. Cynthia is an Educator, Coach, Speaker, and Author. Through her work, Cynthia helped parents of children from age five to 30. Through a strong desire to create a great relationship with her own child, Cynthia’s journey to developing herself as a parent began early on. By building Bridges 2 Understanding and cooperation rooted in mutual respect, she was able to achieve the connection she longed for with her teenage daughter. Cynthia understands the challenges of parenting and provides solutions that are unique, effective, individualized, and enduring. You can achieve results that will change the course of your relationship with your children and your family’s dynamic now and for generations to come. Cynthia’s education includes a B.A. in Psychology, Training and Human Resource Development Certificate, California and New Mexico teaching credentials, numerous parent education certificates, and life lessons gained from raising a successful daughter who values her mom’s opinion. Her book is titled, Ally Parenting: A Non-Adversarial Approach to Transform Conflict Into Cooperation. "It's all about still having your authority in your power, doing it in a way that is respectful.” “What do I feel, think or do differently to get a different response?” “You can’t control your children. You can only influence.” What you’ll hear in this episode: The difference between hard and soft power and leadership and control Building a foundation to prepare for challenges ahead. When kids complain about limits Why it starts with changing yourself first Why you need to ask yourself who owns the problem Problem solving roles: director, collaborator, or supporter Building emotional connection first Some of the ways that parents show up as adversaries in their relationship with their kids The think/feel/do cycle Moving past the victim mindset What being a collaborator means Timing your conversations How to stop blocking communication The power of writing things down What happens when we make assumptions vs approach with curiosity Helping your kids feel heard Soliciting ideas in problem solving Making a plan together and instituting a trial phase What to do when your plan doesn’t roll out the way you expected Using empathy to redirect Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey listeners!! I am recording this Sunday, it will go live on Tuesday – and I can’t not talk about Covid 19, the coronavirus – because it is absolutely right here, right now, and the reality for the world right now. I want to start with whoa. I mean, whoa right? This is a weird and wild time. We are facing something that few of us have ever experienced before – the news, the leadership, the unknown – it is all right there. Dr. Shefali, author and conscious parenting guru called this time a chiropractic spiritual realignment. I have been listening a lot to Dr. Shefali, she has been live streaming so much goodness through her FB page and her group, “Superpowered: Transform Anxiety into Resilience.” I love her take on the world because she speaks so much into being with impermanence, being with uncertainty. Because ---- impermanence and uncertainty aren’t new – you all have been listening to me talk about this for the last six months and beyond as I navigate all the fun with my teens. I know you are in your own practices, because you let me know! I get emails nearly every day from listeners that reach out to let me k now that my story is their story, that they are in the muck with their kids and they feel so good to know they are not alone…. You aren’t alone. ALL OF US live in daily uncertainty. We never know how things are going to turn out, although MANY of us live under the illusion that we do, under the illusion that we can control the events of our lives…. Now, we have influence, of course, but control? Yeah, no. We ALL have the unexpected show up in our lives – good, bad and ugly – we make plans, we cross our finders, we do our do, and what happens happens, right? I have been fascinated by listening to people share about how there isn’t any MORE uncertainty because of the corona virus – it just feels that way because we have been under the impression that we know what is going to happen, we had our routines, we had our rhythm, we knew what to expect each day. But this pandemic has yanked that comfy security blanket away and we have no choice but to stare down uncertainty – and oh man, ITS SO FLIPPING UNCOMFORTABLE!!!! Sigh. Ok, so I am here to help. Yes, it’s uncertain, and yes, we have kids to raise and jobs to try and do fro home and bills to pay and oh man they all eat so much!!! I reached out to the members of my patreon group and asked them what their biggest challenges are in this new normal. Here is some of what they shared: Audrey, mama to 4 year old shared: Challenges: keeping my fear and anxiety under wraps. They can show up as irritability and impatience. Also, never having a break because there’s no adult to relieve me. My 4 year old complaining anytime I take time for myself or the meals I’m making (they’re lacking creativity). Gratitude: extra time to do art with her. All the outside time with her when the weather allows. The fact that my mom is taking us seriously and being very careful. That I have really awesome neighbors in case I need some thing. That I saved all the old cloth wipes and the wet bag from when I cloth diapered, in case I really can’t get TP. I love that Audrey mentions how HER fear and anxiety can show up as irritability and impatience, I am ABSOLUTELY noticing this with myself as well. And it’s funny, I am not in a panic and tell myself I’m not anxious, and yet, the anxious energy is still manifesting in my short (ish) temper with my son, sorry Ian. This is super key: How are we taking care of ourselves? What are we doing to release our fears/worries? Meditation – some of your fave people are offering live streams every day Journaling Yoga – Fightmaster yoga 90 day fix Be in nature – LISTEN TO NATURE We have no choice – we have to get creative and take care of ourselves. Slow down. Well, we have no choice but to slow down do we, now is the time to create some new habits in taking care of ourselves. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What you’ll hear in this episode: Why you shouldn’t wait How Oprah discovered Kristina Why we need to get uncomfortable with self-criticism Why you need to write Ta-da lists instead of To Do lists Maintaining perspective about things that didn’t get done Making a habit of personal growth Empowering our kids to do things for themselves without taking over Having compassion for our kids Creating space for sharing and connection in your relationship with your kids Searching for love in your marriage Love as a daily choice Why asking for help is important Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today is a solo show – woop woop! Being in a mindful relationship… What is mindfulness? Why is it important on the parenting journey? Why is this important in life? I went to a mindful couples workshop with my husband this weekend Why did we go? Morning of… How I did my work when it was hard to do Modeling setting intention Letting go of being attached to the experience of my husband Why this is relevant to our kids and parenting and life Setting the context with how I showed up and what I was willing to own Offering lots of loving support, acknowledgement, options While also leaning in and inviting vulnerability – speaking into the elephants in the room, making things explicit Learning processes for deeper listening and communication SO MUCH like PD Connect before correct/redirect Positive Intent Looking for solutions not blame The iceberg Process over product – Relationship is everything!!! Took the trainer aside to share…. One of the processes reminded me so much of the Family Meeting, but instead of using the model for the family, you use it as a couple. Safe space for venting about a few things that rubbed you wrong A useful place for problem solving I would add time to celebrate each other before getting into it…. One of our “issues” is talking about money – ben makes most of it, I budget and try to save it. This is a hard one for us to discuss without having clear goals that are the boss. Come together to have a vision What is this going to take Weekly check ins on how we are doing I also have some amazing clients that are such an inspiration to me. Super intentional with checking in on relationship Super articulate in how they are celebrating each other 20 years later…. It takes work Awareness that we are in an ebb Willingness to do something about it Kristen Bell – “I will be with Dax on the porch at 80” – we can get through anything So yeah, tend to your relationships – we talk so much about our relationship with our teens and younger kids here – equally if not more important is our relationship with our partners. Hope you are feeling inspired!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Yolanda Williams. Conscious parenting is really close to her heart, and she knows what it feels like to grow up without a voice and with violence as a consequence. Raising a black child in a world filled with white supremacy can seem insurmountable at times but she firmly believes that conscious parenting is activism against racism. Yolanda is raising a carefree child to be her authentic self, unafraid to use her voice to stand up to oppression with unshakable confidence and self love. Yolanda wants to help teach other parents to do the same. She's the co founder of Conscious Parenting Time, whose mission it is to decolonize minds by teaching the art of conscious parenting to raise intellectually spiritually and socially free black children. She's also the host of Parenting Decolonized, a podcast on a mission to shine the light on how colonization has impacted the black family structure and what to do about it. Join us! "I'm not here to make anybody else feel comfortable with the truth of racism, but it's supposed to make you uncomfortable.” “If I feel like you are genuinely asking a question and I don't feel like you're trying to center yourself when you ask this question, I will politely answer it. But my job is not to educate white people on racism. That's not the job of any person of color.“ “Being White and Whiteness are two separate things. I don't think people really realize that because whiteness is a construct, just like race is.” “Our culture does judge black parents more harshly. Period.” “Our kids may already be targeted just because of their race, nothing that you can do is going to stop a bad police officer or a bad teacher or someone who is just a racist from being that person.” “I'm not going to change who I am to make white people comfortable.” What you’ll hear in this episode: The difference between being White and Whiteness How the Black parenting experience is different The subtle and not so subtle ways that parenting has been colonized Post-Traumatic Slave Syndrome The risks and challenges that come with parenting from a place of fear Parenting a Black child as a Black person vs as a White person Authoritarian parenting attitudes and dignity double-binds Belonging and significance in the face of racism Internalized racism - what it is and what it looks like How early unconscious biases show up in education Cultural pride as a way to insulate against racism Curating an environment that centres cultural pride The importance of Black history Being intentional about decolonization The Black Panther and their policy What does Joyful Courage mean to you? You know, when I think of joyful courage it makes me think of this quote by Audrey Lord and it's like the basis for everything I do. She said, "Raising black children, female and male in the mouth of a racist, sexist suicidal dragon is perilous and chancy. If they cannot love and resist at the same time, they will probably not survive." So that's like love and resistance. Yes, what joyful courage is for me. I mean, I have to have courage to change the status quo. And I have to model what joy and unconditional love looks like inside my home. Because home is where security and safety is and love. And as scary as being a black parent is sometimes I can't tell you how much joy it gives me to be raising my daughter in this revolutionary way and to watch her grow into an amazing black woman. Like, it gives me a lot of joy. I love that. Resources: Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome Amazon Prime documentaries by Henry Louis Gates, Jr. Where to find Yolanda: Parenting Decolonized Podcast Parenting Decolonized Facebook Page Conscious Parenting Time Facebook Page @cptime Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey all! Today is a solo show… I am so honored to be here with you. Today is all about connection and relationship (again, I know, but really, it’s what’s up). Broken record in the conversations I am having in the teen group as well as the super fam Relationship relationship relationship Not as a “strategy” When relationship is offer, disconnection si present, its like we are on unstable ground Belonging and significance Being seen and heard Feeling valued/ Feeling safe– routines/agreements/family meetings At their heart they are a connection activity Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Sarah Rosensweet. Sarah is a Peaceful Parenting leader and coach. Peaceful parenting is an approach that uses kind, firm limits with lots of empathy. Parents are in charge but give their kids the support they need to meet their expectations. She emphasizes connection and supports parents in prioritizing relationship with our kids. Sarah knows that our relationship is the most effective way we can influence our kids. Sarah and I spend time today discussing some of the biggest take-aways from The Self Driven Child – a powerful resource written by William Stixrud and Ned Johnson. What you’ll here on this episode: What has changed for Sarah as a coach as her kids have entered the teen years The Self Driven Child There can only be one driver on the train – that is your child We need to manage our own parental anxiety We get to trust that our children know what they need Sarah shares a personal story about her son and his report card and how she used what she learned from the Self Driven Child Our response matters Allowing our kids to make decisions about their own life Letting our own limited yet intense beliefs about all the possibilities get in the way “We care so much that they don’t have to.” We have to trust our kids to learn from all of their choices It’s hard to give up the drivers seat Resiliency comes from surviving difficult things Our teens are moving with a limited bank of experiences Using curiosity is powerful and ask our teens if they want to hear our opinion We can be involved, without controlling their every move The sweet spot Middle ground for encouraging teens to nurture relationship Stay Connected to Your Teenager by Michael Riera Loosening up the limits “It’s your call…” Casey shares her story about her teen daughter dropping out of school The number one thing teens need from their parents…. Where to find Sarah: Website | Facebook | Peaceful Parenting with Teenagers Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today is a solos show - YAY! Coming off of the mental health mini summit… I am reminded time and time again about the importance of creating an environment that support our kids-teens in being who they are. A space that feels emotionally safe. We hold the container, we set the tone, right? Before we can do that we really need to decide what it is that we want to create? Speaking with clients about this, before a big conversation or event, I will aks them, well, what is it you want to create? What is most important for you that your child receives? Strategies for creating a home environment that nurtures safety Routines/Consistency/dependable structure Asking permission/Being curious Being available/Non judgmental Validate their experience Own your stuff Trust that your kids ARE thinking about what is best for them Power of perspective - 3 bs and the outside observer, remembering the iceberg Therapy - One of the things that has been really useful for me lately that I am digging into through therapy is identifying key times in my life where I felt lost, isolated, and really pulled away from my parents…. And if I could go back that that girl to tell her what she needs to hear…. Some of what has come up has been: This must be really hard, it must feel really confusingYou are ok just as you are, you are enough and worthy of loveI am here for you Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I am so excited to welcome Sara Dean to the Joyful Courage Podcast. Sara is the creator and host of the Shameless Mom Academy Podcast, a top rated podcast with over 2 million downloads. Her biggest passion is helping women own their space. After enduring a long infertility journey, and then a full blown identity crises following the birth of her son, Sara took her background in psychology/health/ wellness and rebuilt her identity – one step at a time. Today, Sara motivates and inspires women to stop shrinking and start growing in every aspect of their lives. She is on a mission to inspire women and moms, in particular, to live bigger, bolder, braver #everydamnday. "I realized over time that I wanted to be having conversations about helping women take up space, rather than always trying to shrink in the space they existed in.” “Perfect is paralyzing.” “If you're in perfectionism, there's no momentum.” “We need to give ourselves permission to feel in big ways and to be vulnerable with those feelings.” “It's okay to cry, but suffering in silence is the most surefire way to destroy yourself.” What you’ll hear in this episode: The role of mindset Outcome versus process goals Moms and worthiness Why perfect sucks Perfectionism, procrastination and high achieving women How perfectionism robs you of momentum Doing B- work The role of routine and structure Creating mental freedom Giving ourselves permission to feel Intuition and finding the lessons in the chaos Learning to sit in discomfort Finding gratitude in hard moments and hard phases The universality of challenges and trauma Why women suffer in silence Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

SOLO SHOW Interviewed for the positive parenting conference by Sumitha Bhandarkar from afineparent.com and she wanted to interview me about my book – fun to remember that I wrote a book! Deep dove into the three Bs. Then last night I had my first of 6 live parenting classes here in Bellingham. Being vs doing Theory, belonging and significance Power of perceptions Humans are social beings – everything in the context of relationship Iceberg why is it important to keep in mind? HALT Problem we see is a solution/response to a problem we don’t know about Mistaken beliefs about self/others/world Why is it hard to remember to consider the iceberg? BECAUSE WE ARE USUALLY PISSED ABOUT WHAT IS HAPPENING AT THE TIP!! WE HAVE OUR OWN ICEBERGS!! At the tip of our iceberg is our emotional/instinctive response to the behavior we are seeing right? And what is under the surface????? HALT!! Feelings of defeat and beat up about mistakes we made… Conditioning/baggage from our own experiences Ahhhhh – so many icebergs!! So we are wired to connect…. And remember what Dan and Tina shared in EPS 215 --- the four s’s – seen, safe, soothed, secure. THIS IS WHAT OUR KIDS NEED, and isn’t it what we need too? We get to learn to offer this up to ourselves Back to the three Bs – this is one tool to support us in creating the four S’s for ourselves, so that we can then offer them up for our kids – show up better, attuned, connected, loving. Lets play with the 3 Bs…. I am going to guide you through them, while also explaining deeper the purpose and power of each B…. Breath The breath is an tool that directly effects the nervous system – and when we are in fight or flight, you can bet our nervous system is working overtime -rapid heart beat, tension, we are full of adrenaline… Attending to breath allows for a settling in…. a slowing down… an opening…. Body Riding the breath into the body in search of any leftover tension…. Allow the breath to soften the body, the small muscles in the face, the neck, the shoulders…. We want to soften the body, open the body so that we can soften and open the mind…. Balcony Once you feel yourself soften, find your balcony seat, imagine that you can lift up and out of your body and look down at your experience, as if you are watching a show from a balcony seat – you are accessing your outside observer. The part of yourself that is separate from your experience, knowing that you are having an experience… From this place, this outside observer place, look at yourself through the lens of compassion, through the lens of love…. What is happening under your iceberg? Can you be a nonjudgmental observer? What happens when you get curious about your experience….? Breath body balcony – the 3 Bs. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Alyssa Blask Campbell. Alyssa has her Master's of Education in Early Childhood. She is a leading expert in emotional development speaking to people around the world. She is a podcast host for Voices of Your Village and the CEO of Seed and Sew. Alyssa has been featured As an emotional development expert and publications such as the Washington Post, Kids VT and Family Education. After co creating the CEP method, which she's going to tell us all about, she researched it across the US and co authored a book on it scheduled for publication next year. Alyssa is deeply passionate about building emotional intelligence in children, stating that it's never too early or too late to start, thank goodness. Alyssa shows up as approachable and welcomes people into her village to get support at all ages and stages shame free. Join us! "In order to be able to do that social piece, the kindness, the respect the empathy, the social awareness components, we have to know how to navigate the self awareness and self regulation first.” “Sometimes times it's really just getting down to what is our feeling about what they're feeling or experiencing.” “I believe that it's our job to find the calm, not their job to get calm for us.” “It's safe for me to feel this because it's not going to last forever.” What you’ll hear in this episode: The difference between social and emotional development The role of self awareness and self regulation Coping mechanisms versus coping strategies The five phases of emotion processing Coping mechanisms as numbing agents Fine motor activities as processing tools Changing habits one at a time Reflective Practice - what it is and how it works Finding the calm for your kids Mirror Neurons and the neurology of calm Addressing bias as a step in the parenting education journey Taking care of your physical health so you can self-regulate Allowing yourself to feel Recognizing feelings Empathizing and connecting vs noticing Helping your kids feel felt Finding security in your feeling Yale research on anxiety in kids The relationship between anxiety and fear Problem solving and conflict resolution Identifying when you’re ready for problem solving What makes Voices of Your Village Podcast awesome Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today is a solo show! I am sharing about what is happening in the Joyful Courage community these next few weeks: Adolescent Mental Health Mini Summit www.joyfulcourage.com/mhminisummit Podcast Recap LIVES added to the Patreon community www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage Other topics that I am speaking into: Resentment on the journey Making self care happen Being in choice And making choices that allow us to let go Being a model Transformation starts with us How are you showing up for your family?? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guests are Dr. Dan Siegel and Dr. Tina Bryson. Dan is an internationally acclaimed author, award winning educator and child psychiatrist. He is currently a Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine, where he also serves as a co investigator at the Center For Culture, Brain And Development, and co director of the Mindful Awareness Research Center. Dan co authored some of our favorite parenting books, including The Whole Brain Child, No Drama Discipline, and The Yes Brain. With the other guest joining us today, he also wrote Brainstorm: The Bible for Parents of Teens, Parenting From The Inside Out and Aware, which came out the summer of 2018 and he came on to discuss that book with me. Dr. Tina Bryson is the other guest that we get to hear from today. She is the co author with Dan Segal of three New York Times bestsellers soon to be four and is the Executive Director of the Center for Connection in Pasadena, California. Tina is also a pediatric and adolescent, psychotherapist, she keynotes conferences, and conducts workshops for parents, educators and clinicians all over the world. There is so much more I could add to the bios of both of these guests I could truly go on and on. They're here today to share about their latest book, The Power of Showing Up: How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become, and How Their Brains get Wired. Join us! Resources: The Whole Brain Child No Drama Discipline The Yes Brain The Baby Book Eps 154: Dr. Dan Siegel Discussing the Science of Being Present The Power of Showing Up Aware: The Science and Practice of Presence Eps 100: Dr. Tina Bryson Supports Us With Brain Informed Parenting Eps 126: Tina Bryson is BACK teaching us about nurturing a YES BRAIN Brainstorm Parenting From The Inside Out Where to find Dr. Siegel and Dr. Bryson: Dr. Tina Bryson Dr. Dan Siegel Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today is a solo show, reflecting on 2019 – the celebrations, the lessons, all of it. I am so grateful for the community and the love you send me and each other on the daily!! See you in the new year! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Aparna Venkataraman. Aparna is a parent coach, meditation teacher, motivational speaker and global wellness advocate for doTERRA essential oils. Her approachable nature, strong intuition and problem solving skills guide her in supporting parents of babies, toddlers and teens to empower themselves and build healthy relationships with one another through effective communication, confidence building and light hearted mindfulness techniques. She values authenticity, which you all know is one of my favorites, a kind nature, motivation, love, compassion, gratitude and humor as key components of a beautiful life. She’s here to share ways that families can relieve stress through self care, mindfulness and effective communication. Join us! "Self care means to me to find ways to connect back to what is lighting me up, what is helping me to find peace and stay connected to my authentic self.” “There are simple things you can do each day that can help you to create a routine where you're feeling connected to yourself and not just waiting until the weekend until you have much more time” “We can put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be a certain way and to show up in the world as somebody who has it all together. When we're really actually stressed, really, really stressed on the inside.” What you’ll hear in this episode: Self-care beyond manicures and exercise Why self care doesn’t have to wait for the weekend The pressure to keep up appearances How to tell when you’re connecting to your authentic self What is intrinsic self care The power behind finding our why How spirituality can be helpful The role of breath in self care Stress, parenting and mindfulness Tips for learning mindfulness Ways to start small in your mindfulness Laughter as stress relief Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

SOLO SHOW! I have shared about going to therapy – and quite a few of you have reached out and shared that this has prompted YOU to find this kind of support in your community – SO HAPPY! I told you how I shopped around and chose on that I thought was the right fit. I had actually had some one I trust and worked with suggest that somatic therapy was really the fit I wanted, so that is what I looked for. Even after shopping around, after a few sessions, I felt unsatisfied with the experience. IT felt slow and directionless. Now, this could ABSOLUTELY say something about me, right? Have I spoken before about my need to get things moving and FIX problems??? I have another friend that told me that I would LOVE who she was seeing – it’s a man, interestingly enough I thought I wanted to work with women but I LOVE THIS GUY. And while he isn’t solving my problems and going into “fix it” mode – the masculine energy is what I am noticing is supporting the work. But it also feels balanced because there does seem to be spaciousness, but my experience of the time spent with him feel directional. So, all that to say that you all have permission to change up your mental health team if something feels off. Unapologetically. Today I want to talk about something that has been coming up for me, AND with some of my clients. I have a feeling you are all going to relate with this as well. So let me set this up and you can decide if you can relate…. You are looking ahead to the weekend. Everyone is going to be home on Sunday and you would really like to have a family day, time together doing something…. Maybe you’ll all decide to go to a movie or do a project, but you know that time together is something you all need and Sunday is the perfect time…. Sunday rolls around and your partner gets busy with a home improvement project that looks like it is going to last all day, one of you kids has made plans with friends and gets irritated when you tell him nope, you have to be home. And maybe the other child is looking for “alone time” rather than “together time.” We are all in this together, friends!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Tonya Dalton. Tonya is a productivity expert, writer, speaker and founder of Inkwell Press Productivity Company, a company centered around productivity tools and training. she released her book The Joy of Missing Out on October 1, she's going to share a little bit about her book with us. Tanya is also the mother of two teenagers and really knows what it means to be the leader of a family. Join us! " I love that it feels like a permission slip. Like I feel like I have permission to just stop chasing my tail.” “We're filling our calendars, but we're not really filling our souls.” “it's really about mindful living. It's really about living with intention.” “Productivity is not about doing more. It's about doing what is most important.” “Life is meant to be enjoyed, not just endured.” “None of us truly have it all together all of the time.” “Balance is a myth.” What you’ll hear in this episode: The glorification of busy The obligation and pressure to be busy How not being busy makes us feel about ourselves How being busy keeps us from nurturing ourselves and others Quality over quantity Embracing imperfection Releasing the need to be busy “Shoulding” on ourselves and why that’s not helpful Living mindfully with intention Prioritizing activities instead of trying to do all the things Letting go of “Some Day” Syndrome The stories we tell ourselves and unreasonably high expectations Getting curious about our responses to life Examining our comfort zones and if they are serving us How releasing perfectionism supports connection Letting people lift you up as a gift to them Family as a team Sunday planning as a ritual Division of labor based on team member needs and supporting each other Belonging and significance and filling each other’s buckets Encouraging ownership and buy in with your kids Letting go of balance Finding flexibility in the mess Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today is a solo show. I missed you all last week…. As you know, I am in the throes of navigating my own parenting journey and sometimes that means stepping away from my professional work to focus on my family. For all of you out there who are feeling like you are the only one struggling on this path, it simply IS NOT TRUE. We all have our own way of sharing with the world, and many people just don’t. They keep the hard stuff to themselves, leaving the rest of us thinking that their lives are easy-breezy. This podcast, and this episode, is my way of pulling back the curtain and sharing from am deeply authentic place. The Joyful Courage community is a place for all of us to bring our whole, vulnerable selves. There is plenty to worry about on the parenting path, especially as our kids transform into teens and beyond. When is the fear useful, and when is it getting in the way of hearing our own wise, intuition? I explore that today. I hope you enjoy it! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Hunter Clarke-Fields. Hunter is a yoga and mindfulness coach, the host of the Mindful Mama Podcast, and supporter of moms near and far. She is also a mama herself and walks her talk with her two daughters. I had the great pleasure of being a guest on Hunter’s podcast and am thrilled to host here on the Joyful Courage Podcast. Hunter’s book, Raising Good Humans: A Mindful Guide to Breaking the Cycle of Reactive Parenting and Raising Kind, Confident Kids is available now, and I am super honored to share her wisdom with you all today. Where to find Hunter Raising Good Humans Book Page: Raising Good Humans Book.com Facebook Page: Hunter Clarke-Fields, Mindful Mama Mentor Instagram: Mindful Mama Mentor Twitter: HClarkeFields LinkedIn: Hunter Clarke-Fields Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week is a solo show and I am totally going free style. There aren’t much for show notes, I hope you listen and that what is shared resonates with you. We are all in this together! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Jaynay C. Johnson. Jaynay is a therapist, speaker and author, dedicating much of her time and energy to serving adolescent girls and their families. From suffering from teen depression to being written off from family and teachers as being just another troubled teen, Jaynay has always been a firm believer that at any given moment you have the power to say "This is not how the story is going to end." Jennay chose to take control of her story, choosing to dedicate her life to uplifting and empowering the leaders of tomorrow. Jaynay's body of work includes published books, magazine features, radio interviews and multiple guest appearances. A lady of elegance, poise, motivation and hope for tomorrow's leaders Jennay embodies an uplifting message and presentation style that she believes the ones coming behind her will need in order to reach their greatest potential. Join us! "I think the space where parents miss a great opportunity is to empathize.” “The reality is phones are not bad. Internet is not bad. It's a tool.” “If as the parent, you're constantly making the choices for them, you're almost telling them that you don't think that they can make good decision.” “It is important for us all to just take a proactive approach and have conversations around the best practices of social media, the best practices of having a phone. And I think we just need to be doing that more frequently than we are.” What you’ll hear in this episode: The evolution of the concept of adolescence The audacity of “I know, because I was a teenager.” Empathy and raising teens Giving teens enough information to make informed decisions The value of appropriate openness Intergenerational differences The role of mobile phones and when they tend to be introduced to Gen Z Important conversations to have about phones with your kids Big issues facing teens and their parents Emotional intelligence and how it factors into the decision of which paths to pursue Timing of college and the need to be open minded Teaching your kids to trust themselves Challenges facing teens and families of color Being cognizant of cultural differences What does Joyful Courage mean to you? So joyful courage means to me that, although it can be rough to have certain conversations and to pull out some of the, you know, darker sides of life, I find joy knowing that once we pull them out, they get a chance to see the light. And from there, everything goes up and up. So that's what it means to me, that I had the courage to pull it out. But then you're happy because it's out and once it's out, it can breathe. Where to find Jaynay: Instagram | Facebook | Twitter | Website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey friends… thank you for meeting me here. Thank you for seeing me and for sharing the ways that this podcast resonates with you and supports you. I have received feedback from so many of you talking about how this show is a lifeline for you, and a place where the experience you are having on the parenting journey is validating. Radical Acceptance Have you heard of this? DBT (which I haven’t ever done and know really nothing about accepting something with all of your soul opening yourself to fully experience the reality of the moment Fighting reality continues suffering Being in acceptance allow “radically accept that you want something you don’t have and it’s not a catastrophe” – Marsha Lineham The moment your in and the past – but you can change from there Reality is what it is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTG7YEWkJFI Past and future fucks us up How many of us feel guilty and rack our brains looking for where we screwed up? If we did it differently we wouldn’t be in the situation we are in…. But but but…. Shouldn’t we think about the future? And how can we not??? I have hopes and dreams for my kids, of course. THEY ARE THE DESIGNERS OF THEIRL IFE AND HOW CAN I GET OUT OF THE WAY???????? Creating a space that is pure enough for them to trust themselves. Popular conversations Would have us believe that there is a five step process for getting the outcome we want with our kids Popular conversations would have us believe that parenting is about them and not us Popular conversations would have us believe that if things go sideways it is about something that we are doing wrong, that there is something to fix Popular conversation blames the world today, technology, and teens themselves for what we are seeing What if popular conversation is wrong What if parenting is all about us? What if no matter WHAT we do, our kids are going to experience the path they are meant to experience? What if right here, right now, is exactly as it is meant to be? Radical acceptance. If this is exactly where we are meant to be, with all fo the challenges that exist – and I see you out there. Those of you with kids who are navigating mental health challenges, drug use and abuse, risky behavior – I see you out there who FROM THE BEGINNING were invited into radical acceptance due to your childs different abilities – whether they be physical, mental or emotional. You are the ones that all of us can learn from. This is old news, this idea of accepting reality AS IT IS. Thank you for being models for the rest of us and modeling what this looks like…. If this is exactly where we are meant to be, if we accept rather than resist the reality that we are finding ourselves in day to day, then there must be a purpose. Perhaps it is as simple as sitting in this space. Allowing the physical, emotional, and spiritual experience of this acceptance to live without trying to make it go away. My own experience with this…. Eps 203 I talked about getting a therapist Current situation creating a physical response in my body Somatic therapy/radical acceptance called me to transform the experience What also shows up….. self doubt (the ego is super loud) Back to radical acceptance, back to turning inward and being with what is showing up Raise your hand if you can’t sleep? Raise your hand if your belly is tied up in knots? Raise your hand if you are experiencing feat that is with you all.damn.day? I see you. Radical acceptance. Things are as they are. Feel that Notice what shows up Allow it to have a voice How does your body respond? What happens when you bring compassion? Can you be with it? We are not in charge of the narrative that is our children’s lives. Yet , as that narrative plays out, we can write our own narrative about how we are going to show up…… And right now, the narrative that I am writing is one of radical acceptance. I love you! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Wendy Bertagnole. Wendy Bertagnole, is a lover of chocolate, lifter of heavy weights, believer in wearing yoga clothes most every day, and a mother of three kids. She works with moms who are frustrated with their children’s behavior, helping them to once again enjoy motherhood and their children. With an undergrad degree in child development and a masters in special education, Wendy has taken what she’s learned, while also raising her three kids, to serve others Wendy knows that not every child shows up 100% happy and willing to cooperate every moment of every day, which can be frustrating. She believe every behavior is a form of communication and her mission is to help every parent understand what their child is communicating through their behavior. Wendy’s work is aligned with the mission of Joyful Courage and I am thrilled to have some time to talk with her today. Find Wendy: Website | Podcast | Facebook | Instagram | Pinterest Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today is a solo show – woohoo! I am having a really hard time prepping a solo show…. Part of the problem is that I feel like I am really in my own work of finding some space inside of my fears and worries about my parenting. Am I too permissive? Am I avoiding conflict? Or am I meeting my kids where they are at? Am I being pragmatic, or is this confusing? Am I enabling or am I meeting my children where they are at? What is going to happen to them? Will they be able to cope in the future? Will they ever feel passionate about anything? Do they feel worthy of showing up, standing up, giving back? I literally have been waking up in the middle of the night gripped with tension in my body and mind, spinning through all of these questions, coupling this with “what if…” Well – I made an appointment to see my fave energy worker to see if I could get some help with removing these blocks, letting go so I could release these fears. And you know what came up – it is time for me to get some therapy. Yup. See, I am super aware of what is happening when it is happening. I can see the way I am in the middle of my family, grasping for strings to bring me a sense of control and safety – what is really happening is that I am becoming so entangled in their experience, that I may actually be making things worse… Or maybe not, but the dynamics in my relationships are not what I want them to be. Shift into love. Shift into connection. Surrender, let go. But what happened, what I learned or was reminded of from my energy worker, is that the “shift” I want to have happen, that I actually want to have happen, is bypassing the very real need that my inner girl has to be seen and heard and felt. Between the messages I received growing up, and the persona that I try to fill in my career, there is this mistaken idea that to belong, or to matter, or to be “doing my work” I need to not fall apart. That falling apart is somehow weak, or a crutch, or I don’t know…. Not enlightened? I can pinpoint times in my life where my experience was being dismissed, where I was told that there wasn’t space for me to breakdown and I have internalized that to the point where I can’t move through my pain. And right now, the pain is fear and self doubt and worry…. My system wants to take the short cut to just breathing, finding neutral with my body and taking the balcony seat (doesn’t that sound familiar?) And I am not here to say that the breath body balcony tool isn’t helpful, I do believe it is, AND there are times when the work that is being called for goes deeper than mindfulness with breath and journaling. Working out what I am being shown as a place to get messy and dig in is actually going to support me in using mindfulness/the 3 Bs as tools for daily practice of being in relationship with my teens, WITHOUT bringing in the baggage of what I am holding from my own past… It’s like when I work with teachers, I get to facilitate PDC, which is super useful all of the kids, and there are a small percentage of the kids that need more, right? For various reasons, there are some kids in the classroom that need more, they need a team, they need creative problem solving that is a bit more out of the box than the majority. That is where I am at right now on my own journey, and I need a team. I have some things to work through, beliefs to reframe, and some validation of my human experience to receive. I get to spend some time digging into my stuff in a way that lets it all come undone, finding a feeling of safety for being with the breakdown, so that I can breakthrough what is on the other side of these limiting beliefs. Thank you so much for listening…. Please let me know how this show has resonated for you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is DR. ROB REIHER. Rob is a highly respected developmental and educational psychologist. He is a media expert who studies the escalating impact of tech, media and consumerism and it’s accompanying “noise” on children, families and society. Also, Rob has extensive experience as a researcher, counselor, speaker, consultant, and educator. As an adjunct professor of Psychology at Woodbury University in Burbank California, Rob created and taught the first INNERTAINMENT course in the country. Rob has written two books and is the co-author (with Daniel Acuff Ph.D.) of Kidnapped: How Irresponsible Marketers Are Stealing the Minds of Your Children. He is also the co-host of the Live Above the Noise podcast. I am thrilled to have Dr. Reiher on to support us in developing tools for this landscape of parenting. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Natha Campanella. She is a professional writer, a mother, a teacher, an astrologer and intuitive guide. Natha is also a certified master life coach and she uses a unique blend of modalities and her approach with an emphasis on traditional coaching and astrology. She often supplements with knowledge from the enneagram. We will be discussing astrology. Join us! "There's something that is very objective about astrology and also very validating.” “The beautiful thing about astrology it is that it is so similar to the way that we as humans just navigate the world.” “Meeting them where they're at is understanding who they are, and then working with them from that place.” What you’ll hear in this episode: How natal charts are created and what they mean What archetypes are and what they do How a chart is laid out and what each section symbolizes Ways your sign can influence your approach to life How you can use your astrological information to shape your choices Astrological insights as additional, objective, non-judgmental information for self-exploration Why charting your family can be helpful Astrology as a means to meet your kids where they are at How astrology can interface with or be complementary to positive or peaceful parenting Using astrological information to navigate parenting challenges Astrology and the iceberg metaphor Resources for understanding astrology Ways to work with Natha What does Joyful Courage mean to you? I think joyful courage means to me that, you know, even when stuff feels really hard, which it does a lot. Especially, I don't know for the rest of you, but for me, that there's always this sort of invitation to be courageous and keep moving forward and to really look for what is joyful within the context of what's happening. And I always find really amazing things even when I'm, you know, having a dark night of the soul. It's like "Oh, you know, look at how beautiful that bumblebee looks on that flower right now" and so you know, it's like always just seeking out, always knowing that there is something beautiful happening and that can bring joy. Resources: Caroline Myss - Sacred Contracts Astro.com The Inner Sky Jan Spiller Where to find: Website | Facebook | Instagram | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Yay! I’m back! I’ve missed you all!!! It isn’t often that I take time off of this podcast, and I am really grateful to have taken the past few weeks off. Some of the things that went down included: Working with three elementary schools here in Bellingham! Supporting the staff members with implementing Positive Discipline in the classroom Shout out to teachers – they are on the font lines of making the world a better place, and just like all of us, doing the best they can with the tools they have. I have worked with many teachers doing the PD trainer, and I have come across some that are deeply discouraged, and others that are super encouraged and what they all have in common is that they show up each day for the kids in their class. And I just want to say that the ways that parents treat their children’s teacher makes all the difference. Build that relationship – it will benefit not only your child, but all the children in your child’s class because a teacher that feels connected to the families he or she serves is going to show up better – belonging and significance are not only what our kids need, it is what all humans need. I launched the Parenting Teens with Positive Discipline Audio Summit Encore Offer! I just couldn’t put these conversations to rest – they were so rich. I know that the whole online summit formula is to give you way more than you can consume in a short period of time and then sell you the whole thing so that you can actually get what you need at your own pace. I followed that formula last time and it felt weird…. I do need to make a living people, and the content I create does have significant value, and…. This felt weird to me. So what I did was I distilled down the content so that it is in bite sized pieces. And omg, going through these audios again was so amazing – I am in a different place than when I recorded these interviews and it really speaks into how our lenses, or our listening, changes over time…. Anyways, I had over 200 people tune into the summit and the feedback was so great!!! If you missed it, I *am* selling the package, with all the interviews in full, for a limited time on my website. $49. Another significant thing that went down in the last few weeks is that MY SON HAS STARTED AT HIS NEW SCHOOL!!! Remember, we moved? Do you remember that my son was not so excited? Actually, he was pretty pissed about the whole thing and had a pretty low key summer up here, worrying about what his new school and life was going ot look like. He did make one friend prior to school starting here in the neighborhood. Shout out to Leona who saw my post in the neighborhood moms FB group about looking for another 8th grader who likes basketball to hand out with my son and got in touch. They hit it off and it made a world of difference for Ian to have a friend walking into the first day. And just as I suspected, he was fine. Better than fine, he was like a celebrity. And that is how it’s been since school started. He is building a friend group full of really sweet, kind kids. I get to trust his judge of character and remember that Ian likes to be around kids that are nice and fun. Yay. Big exhale there. WHEW!!!!!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

HEYYYY!! This isn't a full episode - just a quick announcement letting listeners know that the show is going to take a month off and come back strong September 17th - woop woop. Listen in and find out how to stay connected. Big love, Casey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today is a SOLO SHOW! First, how about a community celebration for the 200TH EPISODE of the Joyful Courage Podcast!!! WOOP WOOP!! It is so exciting to reach this milestone with you all... Along with the fact that the podcast has been downloaded over 550,000 times!! I am so deeply grateful and honored that I get to show up for you each week and that what I create is useful to you.... In honor of the 200th show, I actually have a BRAND NEW SOLO SHOW to share this week. I got some pretty powerful feedback from my teen daughter about my parenting style and the messages she is getting through how I show up and talk to her. Granted, we are navigating some new territory, and have recently been in some tricky discussions. And at the end of the day, I don't always know what the right thing to do is... You out there with teens may know what I mean, the conversation may sound like this: Teenager: "But, why can't I ___?" Parent ( racking brain for the perfect , logical answer): "I'm not sure, mostly ___ just feels like it should be a hard no...." And then you are left feeling like maybe you are holding on to old beliefs, or perhaps it is what other people will think that is getting in the way, or maybe you are having one of those "can you just not tell me and get a little sneaky " moments (yes, these thoughts exist for me too). While we all want open, honest relationships with our kids - the open honesty brings with it a BUNCH of challenges that catch you off guard. And honestly, I don't always know the right answer, it's not always neat and tidy over here, AND, it turns out, sometimes my daughter feels like a a giving permission, when really, I am just unsure of what to say do. You guys. It is so messy. And this is what I am sharing on the podcast this week. I hope you love it. ::::: Parenting Teens with Positive Discipline Audio Summit ENCORE OFFER The Parenting Teens with Positive Discipline Audio Summit first went live in January of 2019. I gave participants each interview in its entirety, for a week of learning. It was a LOT of content for busy overwhelmed parents, so I built a curated navigation system, to help guide and support and I am sharing with you. I have organized some of the many powerful messages from the interviews and complied them around the themes that are important to get us started. Those themes include: Hot topics like screens, sex, body image, risky behavior Deepening our understanding of this time of life, for both your teen and you, as a parent Strategies for maintaining and nurturing your relationship Settling in when it gets messy Doing our work to get out of their way The Encore Offer is my gift - free to you. I think this wisdom is so important, I wanted to share with as many parents as possible. And I encourage you to share with others! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week I am replaying a conversation that I had one year ago, almost to THE DAY, with one of my DREAM GUESTs, Dr. Dan Siegel. I am so glad that when I record, there is only audio going on, because I was grinning like a fool while talking to Dr. Siegel. Anyone who knows his work, KNOWS, he is the real deal. Super brilliant. Super dedicated to supporting parents in a way that MATTERS. His books, which he co-authored with another Joyful Courage fave guest, Dr. Tina Bryson, include the whole brain child, no drama discipline, and the yes brain. He also wrote, Brainstorm, the power and purpose of the teen brain – a guide for every parent and teen to understand more fully the special, unique brain development that happens during adolescents. Dr. Seigel came on last summer to discuss his book, Aware: The Science and Practice of Presence. I love LOVED this discussion, and I think you will too!! Takeaways from the show How being present impacts the speed of the aging process Wellbeing and how it is enhanced by being present Relationships with your kids and how being present improves it Cultivating awareness Role modeling resilience How awareness feeds connection vs control Impacts of a lack of structure on the brain and future of children Authoritative parenting vs Authoritarian parenting Why we need the village and how that creates stress for contemporary parents Finding joy, tranquility and connection through expanding awareness Flipping our lid, learning from our body’s signals and how awareness can help Monitoring and modifying for self-regulation and to improve responses to stress The 3 O’s what they mean Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey friends! Welcome back to Joyful Courage – a conscious parenting podcast, where we get real and raw about the parenting journey. You have tuned in to another SUMMER SERIES EPISODE!! This week I am super excited to bring back my conversation from TWO YEARS AGO, Episode 98, with Kerry Foreman. I am THRILLED to be sharing this conversation with you. Kerry is someone that I follow on Instagram and am continuously inspired by how she shows up in the world. Kerry has an online program for teens that is based in mindfulness. It is a 4 week research based course will allow your teen to develop beginning mindfulness skills and cultivate a mindfulness practice that will reduce stress and improve their mental health. Your teen will become empowered to take control of their well being, become more aware of thoughts and behaviors leading to higher accountability, increase their self esteem, and find an inner happiness not attached to anything external. Kerry Foreman is a Registered Psychotherapist, with her Masters in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. She is passionate about Mindfulness and has been practicing and teaching for 4 years. Kerry lives in Monument, Colorado with her patient husband, a teenager, a tween and two rescue dogs, Norman and Fern. Through using Mindfulness to increase her self awareness, she realized that during her childhood she had learned and practiced faulty coping skills. She targeted them one by one, and slowly changed the cycles of her family, learned new behaviors, and worked to create new, positive habits for life. She did this in order to have a successful marriage and to be the kind of Mom she wanted to be. She is passionate about her ability to create change. Change your thinking and it changes your life. What you’ll hear in this episode: Recognition of FOO (Family of Origin) patterns and the call to make changes Psychological/verbal/emotional abuse trains us react rather than respond Noticing patterns such as shame, guilt and anger – where do they originate? Becoming a parent can bring these to the surface. How do we recognize where we need to change? Learning to respond instead if react Understand and reflect on our own parents’ experience Creating change and becoming aware of our own inner state of being Mindfulness practice influences the shift into better relationships How do we become grounded in order to stay balanced and present in mind no matter what is happening around us? Where control plays a role in mindfulness and the contrast in anxiety What do we chose to believe – what is the story we play in our minds? Self talk of being a victim – recognizing the language Expectations of others and how to stay mindful and in control while at the same time releasing what we are not in control of. What does Joyful Courage mean to me? “Joyful Courage is finding the joy in being brave enough to parent differently. Finding a new path in order to allow our kids to be who they were meant to be.” Where to find Kerry: YouTube l Facebook l Twitter l BLOG Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey friends! Welcome back to Joyful Courage – a conscious parenting podcast, where we get real and raw about the parenting journey. You have tuned in to another SUMMER SERIES EPISODE!! This week I am bringing back my conversation with Kim Muench. Kim has been on the show a couple of times, but this episode we dig into how the parenting teens experience can really feel like a tight rope walk. Consider the content of LAST WEEK’s show, I thought it would be helpful to share this conversation. Kim is a JAI Institute for Parenting certified parenting coach who works with moms of preteens and teenagers. She is the mother of 5 kids ages 13-31. She writes about conscious parenting, provides one on one coaching and workshops to help support moms towards intentional parenting. We are discussing detaching from the outcome. Join us! What you’ll hear in this episode: - When children arrive at adolescence - The balance of boundaries and relationship building with our teens - Choosing your battles - Defining your family values - Setting an example for your kids - Defining non-negotiables - Ways to offer choices to your teenager - Detaching from the outcome - Prioritizing personal care and personal development - The illusion of control - Individuation and what that can look like - Supporting our kids in making better choices with alcohol - Being okay with kids failing or things taking longer - Trusting vs hovering - learning to detach - Taking a long view to your relationship with your kids What does Joyful Courage mean to you? Joyful Courage means to me enthusiastically embracing and supporting the journey of our sons and daughters that have come into the world to live out their journey. Supporting and encouraging them with enthusiasm. And I love the two words together, I think it’s fantastic. Resources: Episode 82: Tweens and Smart Phones Where to find: Website | Facebook | Twitter | Facebook Group Real Life Parenting Community Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today I am bringing back my conversation with Liz Blackwell-Moore from episode 128. Liz and I go deep into the conversation of substance use and abuse and how to be in relationship with our kids while also navigating the very real decisions they may or may not decide to make. I know, this topic is tough. We all want our kid to be safe and healthy…. And we all feel the fear around the very real risks some of them take. This conversation is powerful and left me feeling more grounded about this super intense part of the parenting teens journey. Check it out. I am so excited to have Liz on today to talk about an incredibly relevant topic – kids and drugs. GAH. I know. No one really WANTS to talk about this, but we have to. Liz has been working in the field of substance use since 2000. Her current work involves working with community coalitions and organizations to provide training on prevention strategies as well as technical assistance to translate public health research into practice and implement a restorative trauma-informed approach to addressing public health problems. So basically, Liz is going to break it all down for us in a way that is helpful. She lives in Portland, Maine with her wife, two happy kids, and a puppy. Resources: https://the20minuteguide.com/ http://www.drugfree.org/ Good reading on the teen brain: Dan Siegel Brainstorm Francis Jensen The Teenage Brain Links for young people: http://www.teen.drugabuse.gov/ *This is National Institute of Drug Abuse website for teens http://www.protectwhatsnext.com/ *This is a website out of Colorado for young people specifically about marijuana use Where to find Liz: Birchlanestrategies.com (under-construction) Linked in Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today we are going wayyyyy back to revisit Episode 21, my conversation with Jessica Lahey about what it means to be an “autonomy supportive” parents. This was such a powerful revisit for me, four years later, as my kids settle into the teen years and all the challenges and celebrations they get to navigate. I would love to take away the pain and confusion that comes with this time – AND I know that my kids will have their deepest learning through experience… Such a great conversation! Jessica Lahey is smart and funny and real when it comes to talking straight up about how we rob our kids of their future when we protect the from failure... It doesn't matter if they are in the sandbox or a high school classroom, our kids only learn the tools for relationship, empathy and resiliency when we (parents) allow them the gift of discomfort, making mistakes and yes, failure. Listen in to this candid conversation and consider where you could pull back a bit, where you could allow your kids a little bit more room to learn from their missteps, to own when they've hurt someone, to problem solve it when they've left their homework or lunch at home (again!)... We all love our kids, we want them to grow into the fullest, best versions of themselves, sometimes that requires us to back off and let them figure some things out... You may be surprised by just how capable they are! Mentions: The book: The Gift of Failure by Jessica Lahey The article in the Atlantic that started it all: Why Parents Need to Let Their Children Fail Why Back to School Night Made Me Feel Like a Bad Mom Glennon Doyle Melton on momastry.com How to Raise and Adult by Julie Lythcott-Haims The Price of Privilege by Madeline Levine Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today we are going to revisit Episode 138, my conversation with Genevieve Simperingham about what peaceful parenting during the teen years looks like. Genevieve Simperingham is a counsellor, an AWARE parenting educator, a writer, a group facilitator, meditation teacher and founder of the Peaceful Parent Institute in New Zealand. Over the last 24 years, Genevieve has presented hundreds of workshops and courses. She has parented her own kids using attachment principles and she seeks to empower parents with the tools that result in increased harmony, trust and cooperation in the family unit. We are discussing peaceful parenting our teenagers. Join us! “It’s about bringing into your parenting not just how you should respond in this situation or in that situation and our different approaches and techniques (which are really, really important) but it’s all about who we are as a person and who our child is as a person and the dynamic and the energy between us.” “We shouldn’t be in fighter stance simply because we have teenagers.” What you’ll hear in this episode: What is peaceful parenting and how it is different than some of the more mainstream behaviorist parenting approaches. The Centre, Connect, Communicate approach Stress management, self care and healing trauma and how they relate to parenting The need for authenticity in empathy and curiosity The biggest hang-ups for parents around peaceful parenting teenagers Having tough conversations with your teens without shorting out the connection at the outset Setting and holding limits within the peaceful parenting framework Sex, drugs and alcohol use in teens - is it better to allow at home or to restrict? Reducing power struggles and rebellion Educating and empowering teens to make their own choices Reconnecting to move past conflict What does Joyful Courage mean to you? Joyful courage to me, it connects me with that last bit that we were just talking about, to me it’s about joy we feel in the heart and it takes a lot of courage to reconnect. So to me it’s about opening the heart and allowing the joy, the enjoyment of the relationship, of the connection to come back in and that takes courage. It takes courage to be vulnerable again. It’s easier to be hard and defensive and stern and it takes courage to open the heart come back to the joy of that beautiful connection again. Resources: Aware parenting Where to find Genevieve: The way of the Peaceful Parent Facebook Group Facebook Website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s show is a revisit of Episode 57, my conversation with Sharon Ballantine. With 3 children to parent, Sharon turned to books for help with parenting, but she never had the time to read and process the information in the books. So, with no other options available to her, she decided to rely on her own intuition and her own Internal Guidance System for parenting. She began using this technique and the law of attraction to manifest exactly what she wanted as a parent. In this episode, Sharon shares exactly how she made it all happen! Sharon Ballantine is a Parenting and Life Coach and Founder of the Ballantine Parenting Institute. Her book, The Art of Blissful Parenting, guides parents with practical as well as spiritual advice in raising their children. It also guides parents on how to get into alignment, discover and use their own IGS before they can teach their children. In this episode Sharon also discusses: How to find answers within yourself You have an internal guidance system that begins with your feelings Why leaving the room can help you get “in alignment” to parent Physical movement can be a tool to help bring you into a centered place of alignment Changing the subject that is causing stress and bad energy can cause a shift in energy The teenage years are the years of “personal discovery” Parents spend the teen years in fear mode and resort to using control Whoever a teenager is today is not their final destination. Be patient; they will change. Why we want to avoid making our children feel bad at all costs Staying centered will give you the coping skills to deal with any kind of crazy you have to deal with “This too shall pass” - it is true especially for teens Ways to deal with teen behavior that is harmful Focusing on the future and consequences of actions can allow a teen to take responsibility and look at the big picture How to support your child’s development of their Internal Guidance System Ways her failures as a parent contributed to finding her Internal Guidance System What joyful courage means to her and how it contributes to bliss Resources Mentioned on the Show: The Secret - Rhonda Byrne The Art of Blissful Parenting - Sharon Ballantine Connect with Sharon: Website - sharonballantine.com Facebook/sharonballantine Twitter/LifeCoachSB Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Shelley Francis. Shelly is an audiologist specializing in auditory processing disorder, and has been working with children for over 25 years. Over the years she has noticed a trend where more and more children are being seen as extra sensitive, not only with their physical senses but with their inner senses as well. By using her own sensitivities, she looks past a child's diagnosis and connects with their heart. Today Shelly remains motivated by both her passion to help children and her unique perspective in childhood development, which she has described in her book, No Child Left Unwrapped: Understanding and Honoring the Gifts Every Child is Born With. It's her hope that her book and her teachings will help create the needed paradigm shifts within our education system and within our society that will better support our beautiful sensory sensitive children of today. Join us! “Often we pigeonhole these children thinking that they need to be a certain way to be successful and then they can't be successful because that's not their nature. ” “There's so much more information out there to receive than just information through our five senses.” “Everybody needs to know that they're awesome.” “These children then just feel like there's, there's so much wrong with them, but they're never really getting what's right with them, what's good with them, what's awesome about them.” “Often the problem we see is a solution to a problem that we don't know about” “We are always looking at the external for the answer. What if the answer is someplace else?” “Nobody can deny the fact that we need more people that are empathic or empathetic and compassionate. And that's what we're getting.” “Let's help our kids when they're young or as early as possible so they don't have to go through as much of these challenges that we've had to go through, that other sensitive people have had to go through in the past.” “Entangled trauma for a sensitive soul is a recipe for disaster.” What you’ll hear in this episode: The difference between differences and disorder The need to recognize and honor differences Sensory differences - what are they and how do you recognize them? Sensory information, behavior and how they intersect The challenges of living heart wide open for kids who haven’t learned how to release the energy of others Baby steps for supporting sensitive kids The role of meditation as a tool Resilience: what it means and how we develop it Trauma, sensitivity and visualization to create filters for energy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey friends! Can’t believe that it is nearly halfway through June! - Book launch – IG Giveaway - JCA Teens program - NASAP and TP - Looking ahead at the summer - Planning for next fall o More JCA Teens o Possible JCA Tweens/Preteens o Live workshops/classes Today I want to get back to basics. I am a Positive Discipline Trainer. My recent time in Tucson at NASAP and co-facilitating the TP has brought me back to the building blocks of positive discipline…. I am also finding myself on exploratory calls with new clients who are eager to do one on one work and looking for resources to share what the philosophy of PD is all about, with the Joyful Courage spin, or course. So, I decided I would do a show about it. I am excited to share, and if you are someone who feels like you know all about PD, I invite you to listen from a place of curiosity and wonder – to catch yourself when you think “I know all of this” and shift into “what is here for me to learn?” Because that is one of my favorite things about this work – there are so many layers. Right when I think “oh yeah, NOW I get it” life throws me something new, or my kids step into a new place of development, or I just simply find myself back in my old ways of thinking (because it is so darn familiar) and I realize, yet again, that there is more to learn…. Excited? Me too. A lot of people hear the words, Positive Discipline and assume that it is all about being nice while we dole out consequences to our kids. Or they get really stuck on the word “positive “ and think it is all about being permissive and letting our kids run the show. Some people mistakenly believe that PD parents don’t ever want their kids to feel bad, and perhaps lump PD with helicoptering, coddling or enabling our kids. This is totally NOT what PD is all about. To start, one thing I really appreciate about Positive Discipline is that it is a program that has it’s roots in Adlerian Psychology. Alfred Adler was one of the first social psychologists. He worked with individuals and families and found, time and time again, that human behavior was motivated by a sense of belonging and significance. He found that we are always moving towards, or moving from, our sense of connection and knowing that we matter. And when behavior starts to look like mischief, it can be linked back to the individuals perception of belonging and significance. Jane Nelsen, the author and co-author of the library of Positive Discipline books, talks about belonging and significance as our longing for love and responsibility. - Kind and firm - Belonging and significance - Mutual respect/dignity for all - Encouragement - Social interest - Take time for training - The courage to be imperfect/mistakes as opportunities to learn - We always have a choice Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Lahana Vigliano. Lahana is a certified clinical nutritionist and CEO of Thrival Nutrition. She has her Bachelor's degree in Nutrition Science and currently is pursuing her Master's degree in Nutrition Science. Lahana and her team help support women who struggle with weight loss, hormone imbalances, digestive issues, chronic fatigue, and many other lingering issues that leaves women not feeling their best. She uses food as medicine as well as herbs and supplements when needed to support her clients. She looks at the whole body holistically, making sure women are understanding how nutrition, sleep, stress, and their environment impact their health. She creates tons of free resources on her blog, www.thrivalnutrition.com. We’re going to be discussing nutrition and stress. Join us! “In the question of “Am I doing enough?” We often are actually doing too much..” “Everybody's going to be okay if their schedule isn't completely jam-packed.” “We miss self-care opportunities just because we aren't in the mindset of recognizing that we're having a self-care opportunity” “Change isn't going to happen just because you want it to happen, but it will happen when we step into action.” What you’ll hear in this episode: What is cortisol and what does it do? How cortisol impacts brain growth in kids Most common stressors among parents How sleep interacts with cortisol Cortisol, appetite, and cravings Self-care and reframing what that looks like How much sleep we should be getting to maintain optimal health Finding time for sleep and self-care The stories we tell ourselves about food Making food prep easier Creating barriers around foods that don’t serve us Easy protein sources Ways to make vegetables more accessible Self-limiting beliefs around the scarcity of time and resources Learning to give yourself grace The power of doing something you love Prioritizing self-care to be able to care for others What does Joyful Courage mean to you? So I think just, as my life as a mom, a business owner, a wife, I think it just means to really live life to the fullest, you know, having no fear and just being filled with joy with everything that you do, no matter what season, no matter what time in your life because it's meant to be because it's building me up to be the person God created me to be. So I'm just kind of going through life with that mantra. Resources: Under Pressure by Lisa Damour Recipes on Lahana’s website Where to find Lahana: www.thrivalnutrition.com Facebook Instagram Thrival Nutrition Podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey everybody!!!! So happy to be back with you for another solo show – SO MUCH HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!! When I work with clients, I always start the hour with a grounding meditation, because I think we should ALL be dropping into the present moment more often, and then I ask, “What are you celebrating?” I love this question because it reminds my clients that there is always something to celebrate, something to look at as a gift. I know that sometimes if feels like a stretch, but when we challenge ourselves to find some gratitude, it shifts the energy, and opens up more possibilities. I am going to start this show with my own celebrations: First, I am celebrating all of the LOVE that the community has showered me with throughout this book launch – you people are AMAZING – thank you for the reviews you have written, the SM shout outs, the sweet comments you are sending my way. I do this work for all of us and I am so honored when you let me know that it makes a difference in your life! Another celebration is that I am getting the opportunity to practice NOT TAKING THINGS PERSONALLY with my kids lately. Like, a lot. Wrapping up the school year, the upcoming move, and a few other life experiences have upped the level of stress at our house, and the kids are navigating it the best they can. I experience them being irritated, withdrawn, annoyed, not wanting to talk to me, like, AT ALL….. Often this type of behavior is very easy to translate into, “why are you TREATING ME LIKE THIS??” or, “It hurts y feelings when you shut me out” which is actually what I said out loud…. And guess what? They are doing the best they can with the tools they have. They are navigating their life right now and the behavior is simply an INDICATOR that they are in it. It’s not about me. It’s not about me. It’s not about me…. Back to the celebration, I am in the fire of this! I am in the fire of this and THIS is my opportunity to walk my talk. THIS is when it matters that I CHOOSE to tell the story of “it’s not about me” – the goal is to NOT be in a co-dependent relationship with our children, right? So here it is. That chance to separate myself from my child’s experience/behavior and generate the emotions that I WANT to be feeling, regardless of what is happening for her. Fiercely committed, yes, lovingly detached, always a work in progress. Ok, are you ready for me to get on with it??? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Mother's Quest founder, Julie Neale. Julie honors both the meaning and the mess of life and parenthood and believes our children and youth challenge us to grow into our best selves. She is on a mission to live a truly epic life and through her example inspire her children to do the same her for purpose. Her for-purpose venture Mother's Quest provides inspiration, coaching, and community so that mothers and those who work with young people can connect to support and resources, fulfill their unique purpose and live their epic lives. After a 20 year career as a leader in youth-serving nonprofit organizations, Julie turned her focus to coaching training at the Coaches Training Institute and facilitating a process known as Reflection for youth development professionals. Through this and her parenting experience, she realized that mothers and those who mother need an opportunity to reflect on their own growth, dreams, and plans, and created Mother's Quest to champion them with common care . She masterfully taps into her own curiosity and intuition to help her clients slow down from the business of life and work, reflect on what matters, clarify a future vision and move into action. In the fall of 2017, she founded the Women Podcasters in Solidarity initiative to raise awareness and dollars for social justice issues through the power of podcasting. The first season focused on anti-racism and police accountability. We're going to talk more about that initiative on today's show. When she's not wrestling with her kindergartner or driving her team to basketball practice, you can find her squeezing in 10 minutes of yoga and meditation, believing something is better than nothing and staying up way too late to watch a double hitter of Handmaid's Tale and Super Soul Sunday. Join us! What you’ll hear in this episode: The importance of the modeling of continuing to grow and evolve as a human when that's the expectation we have of young people The value of holding a growth mindset around conversations about race Resources to learn about having conversations about race with our kids What is the Women Podcasters In Solidarity Initiative Giving our boys permission to cry and have emotion The power of conversation to create change Lessons learned from social justice activism How ego gets in the way of relationships Moving from transactional relationships to authentic connection Resources: Slay Like a Mother book The Mask of Motherhood Ted Talk Nicole Lee episode on Mother’s Quest podcast So You Want to Talk About Race - Ijeoma Oiuo womenpodcastersinsolidarity.com Ep 37: Generations Rising for Gun Safety with Gloria Pan Ep 07: Living Out Loud with Jenjii Hysten Ep 48: Lessons Learned Since Episode 24: Intersectionality and the Age of the New Heroine with Elizabeth Cronise McLaughlin Moms Rising Ep 54: Superheroes, Fighting Patriarchy, and Courageously Defeating Gun Violence with Ladd Everitt One Pulse for America Masterminds and Wingmen - Rosalind Wiseman Ep 55: From Grief to Advocacy and a Circle of Mothers with Trayvon Martin’s Mother Sybrina Fulton The Trayvon Martin Foundation Circle of Mothers retreat Lucy McBath’s Story Mothers Against Police Brutality EP33: Beyond the Trauma: Legacy, Compassion and Change with Mothers Against Police Brutality Co-Founder Sara Mokuria EP27: On Living an E.P.I.C. Life with Julie Neale Ep 49: A Conversation About Courage with Sage Hobbs and Julie Neale Where to find Julie: Mothersquest.com Mother's Quest Podcast Mother's Quest Facebook group Mother's Quest business page Mother’s Quest Instagram [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Heyyyyyy you! So much excitement – we got out house, kids are on board, book is getting attention, work is good…. Having the experience of seeing all that is abundant in my life has got me to thinking about how I have in the past seen abundance in the lives of others and thought “that will never be me” “I can’t do that” blah blah blah – and I’ve realized that in changing the story, I have changed what has unfolded in my life….. Its amazing. Our story keeps us where we are Listening to a lot of law of attraction – familiar? IF not, let me read what it is from the lawofattraction.com - Simply put, the Law of Attraction is the ability to attract into our lives whatever we are focusing on. It is believed that regardless of age, nationality or religious belief, we are all susceptible to the laws which govern the Universe, including the Law of Attraction. It is the Law of Attraction which uses the power of the mind to translate whatever is in our thoughts and materialize them into reality. In basic terms, all thoughts turn into things eventually. If you focus on negative doom and gloom you will remain under that cloud. If you focus on positive thoughts and have goals that you aim to achieve you will find a way to achieve them with massive action. We live our stories, we tell the stories we live, we live the story, we tell the story…. Sometimes that can keep us stuck. It isn’t the “stuck” that is bad, it is whether or not we WANT to be stuck where we are that we get to be aware of…. For example – When the life you are experiencing feels really hard and you see your kids as out of control…. And you talk about it with your partner and maybe your friends, and then you experience more of it, and you share with your mom or your therapist, and then there it is again, the hard, the heavy, someone asks you how you are, you give a big sigh and you respond with “I’m ok, things are hard” and the cycle continues to spin over and over and over. Where is there space for something new? Where is there room to BELIEVE that there is another possibility?? That is where you are. You are resigned. Done and done. A contrasting picture is one where things are going really well…. Kids are thriving, relationship is good, business is booming, there are so many possibilities opening up for you, and you talk about it with your partner and maybe your friends, and then you experience more of it, and you share with your mom or your therapist, and then there it is again, the trust, the excitement, someone asks you how you are, you give a big smile and you respond with “I’m amazing, things are so good” and the cycle continues to spin over and over and over. This space feels expansive, it feels like there is an expectancy of more goodness, you believe in possibility, you are open and hopeful. We get to stay in our lane. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Anna Seewald. Anna is a Parent Educator, Keynote Speaker, Author and Host of The Authentic Parenting Podcast. With background in psychology and education, having worked with children for 18 years, today she helps conscious moms and dads to become calm and connected to themselves and their children through trauma-informed education. She believes in helping children by helping parents. She has a private practice that specializes in parent education, where she provides one-on-one parent coaching, parenting, court ordered, and co-parenting classes. www.authenticparenting.com What you’ll hear in this episode: What is emotional regulation? Gaining perspective on what it means when our child is emotionally dysregulated Why toddlers struggle with emotional regulation How emotional dysregulation of kids triggers parents How stress contributes to emotional dysregulation in parents How emotional regulation supports conflict resolution, jobs, relationships, academics What is co-regulation? How parents can stay regulated The Four-Step Calm Formula Coaching your child’s emotional regulation The role of compassion in emotional regulation Assessing the level of urgency in an emotionally dysregulated situation Language and emotional dysregulation Mindfulness and emotional dysregulation Validating our children’s feelings in a way that matches the intensity of their distress The impact of dysregulation on the verbal centers of the brain Dealing with emotional dysregulation under time constraints Post-dysregulation problem solving and how to nurture it What to do when your child won’t talk about their feelings The power of relationship in bringing emotional regulation Tips for listeners who are looking to get better at helping their children grow their self-regulation skills or themselves Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today is solo show – woohoo!! I’ve been missing you all. I am so excited to have been interviewed by some amazing gals out there in the Podcast world. Anna Seewald of the Authentic Parenting Podcast – www.authenticparenting.com/podcast had me on and we talked about building trust – both in ourselves and our kids. Loved every minute of it and can’t WAIT to meet Anna in person at her conference in May, the Authentic Parenting Conference – www.authenticparenting.com/conference. Today I want to talk about a mantra that I have found useful time and time again. I learned it from a friend and mentor of mine – shout out to Denise Yost! – we saw each other for the first time in a while and when I asked her how she was, she responded with “fiercely committed, and lovingly detached” Fiercely committed, lovingly detached. What it means to be fiercely committed? Creating the environment Meeting their needs Advocating for them Being kind and firm Encouraging them What does it mean to be lovingly detached? Allowing them to be who they are Allowing for them to build resiliency through navigating natural consequences Allowing them to be uncomfortable Trusting that they are on THEIR journey Letting go Giving them responsibility over their lives What gets in the way? Our dreams/vision for them Our past/failures/mistakes Our assumptions Our addiction to what other people think Our insecurity about “doing it wrong” Our emotional regulation (or lack of) Our lens of the “right/wrong” way What will help us move towards “fiercely committed, lovingly detached”? Two list exercise. Challenges Everyone probably has a really similar list – YAY! Gifts Doubt that you have any particular job description… What about “happy”? Can we hope for content? Can we hope for healthy coping skills and resiliency? Can we hope for grounded and empowered? Remember the challenges are at the tip of the iceberg – and anything we “do” with the challenges should somehow, someway, teach/model/or allow our kids to PRACTICE the life skills we want them to embody. A bit about DO. So often parents want to know WHAT DO I DO?? In the moment tools This is a narrow mindset PD is a broader lens than in the moment. TRSUT in developing relationship TRUST that kids do better when they feel batter TRUST that all humans what to be connected and know that they matter and have influence In the moment? Keep everyone SAFE Acknowledge your child’s experience Look for solutions and/or ways of making things right They are doing the best they can with the tools they have in the moment. Just because they can tell you what they will do better next time during a calm moment does NOT mean they will access that when they are flipped Not about being naughty/bad – its about relationship, tools and practice Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Simone Davis. Simone is the author of the new book, The Montessori Toddler. Simone is an AMI Association Montessori International Montessori Educator. She lives in Amsterdam where she runs parent-child Montessori classes at Jacaranda Tree Montessori. Simone is the author of a popular blog, The Montessori Notebook. She is also mother to two young adults. We will be discussing toddlers. Join us! "In Montessori it's an alternative education system where we're actually following each unique child on their own unique individual development.” “We start to think that toddlers are giving us a hard time when actually it's them having a hard time.” “We help them as much as necessary and as little as possible.” “Montessori is somewhere in between, we call it freedom within limits.” “It's really just how to communicate in an effective, respectful way.” “it's really about trusting your child that they're on their own unique timeline and that they're different to everybody else.” “I think of us as planting that seed as well and nurturing it so that we really recognize that each child's individual, how can I support and help them become the best version of themselves?” What you’ll hear in this episode: What the Montessori philosophy is all about The role of multi-age modeling in a Montessori environment The importance of taking time for training Preparing the environment and what that looks like How Montessori builds community and independence Teaching kids to care for things and each other: values-based learning How breaking down steps reduces assumptions and frustration The benefits of the Montessori approach Applying Montessori principles to your home What gets in the way of parents for seeing the gifts of the toddler years Practicing neutral observation without assumption like a scientist How the quest for Independence is similar in the teen and toddler years Setting kind and clear limits The value of a rich language environment with the space to try new things Getting comfortable with repeating yourself The role of making amends and modeling doing so yourself The most important thing for parents of young children to know in order to shift into the Montessori mindset Resources: Dan Siegel hand model of the brain video “The Montessori Toddler” book Where to find Simone: Website Facebook Instagram Youtube Pinterest Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage. Raising our children while growing ourselves... :::: Winging it in the closet! Thank you for the review, Lauren! Listening to my clients and group participants…. Amazing the expansive way we can see/here for the other person. The idea that kids get into mischief, make mistakes, AND well meaning, loving parents get stuck into thinking “they are manipulating me/trying to get what they want/playng me” Foundation of Adlerian theory – behavior being movement in the direction of belonging and significance As young children – always perceiving/interpreting/beliefs/action (private logic) Do I belong? Do I matter? Do I have influence? Am I safe? We are asking and answering those questions through our own lens, which has been developed over time, through experience and relationships we have lived through Kids are cut and dry, their private logic is experienced as “truth” Perception of emotional safety matters “I’m curious… I notice you don’t want to talk about problems after the fact…. Can you tell me about that?” Goal is to help them observe themselves Having a conversation about the conversation Curiosity has no agenda, it’s not a “method” Curiosity is non-judgmental and open THIS TAKES PRACTICE PEOPLE! Call it out when the space feels judge-y and own what we have brought in the past Asking VS Telling Experiential activity Play with this!! Remember there are layers!! ::::: Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. Presale is April 10th – as many of you as possible buying presale would be FABULOUS. Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/book Official launch date is May 20th – OMG – so so exciting!!! The best way to stay up to date on the book news is to join my newsletter list, if you haven’t already. Sign up at www.joyfulcourage.com/join Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!! I appreciate you and we are ALMOST THERE!!!! :::: Authentic Parenting Conference Anna Seewald, host of the Authentic Parenting Podcast, and parent coach, has put together a steller day of learning and growing together in New Brunswick, NJ. I am so excited about it that I decided that I WANTED TO GO TOO!! I am going to be there, Dr. Laura Markham will be delivering a keynote (ah-maze-ing), and the whole thing just looks like super soul care on fire. If you are interested, click here https://authenticparenting.com/conference and use the discount code JOYFUL25 for $25 off the registration fee!! Come play with me!! ::::: Be a Subscriber Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!! AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!! CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Meagan Wilson. Meagan is the founder of Whole Family Rhythms and living out her mission of helping other mothers, caregivers, and educators to create more clarity and balance within the home. Meagan’s website and seasonal Guides provide support, information, and resources on conscious parenting inspired by the earth, the seasons, and each family’s own unique values. Together, a community of over 25 thousand like-minded Mothers and educators gather each day on her Instagram feed to discuss parenting with love, connection and rhythm. "Connecting with your family values is this parenting partner exercise.” “Visual cues, no matter what, they are always very helpful.” What you’ll hear in this episode: What living with the rhythms of the earth and the seasons means What it means to align your life with your values How to document your family values in a meaningful way Discussing your values as co-parents with extended family and caregivers Routine vs rhythm, in-breath vs out-breath times and what it all means Using visuals to create daily habits What it means to be a loving authority Being the author of the boundaries that you're holding Natural consequences - what they are Connecting to something higher than yourself - not necessarily religion Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey there!!! Myths of Positive Parenting That everything is peaceful all the time PD activity that shows the continuum between kindness and firmness parenting styles Kind AND firm can feel elusive We are all human beings having a human experience Kids and teens are perceiving what is happening around them, and making meaning out of what they are perceiving. They filter the world through their individual, developing lens – it makes sense that they get it wrong and response in a way that seems…. well…. Inconvenient. Our kids and teens are in the process of DEVELOPING and LEARNING life skills. They’ve had limited experience. They are doing the best they can with the tools they have. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices