The Best of You

I absolutely loved this conversation with Alli Worthington. We get so real about the toxic traps all around and how to stay sane as a parent. From "parenting book trauma" to bad advice about friendships, we’ve got you covered. You'll learn practical tips & fascinating research from Alli's new book, Remaining You While Raising Them. Alli’s a business owner, podcast host, and the mom of 6 kids. Here’s what we cover: 1. The #1 source of mom guilt 2. The most important question to ask yourself each day 3. How parenting failures actually help kids 4. The surprising research on which relationships are happiest 5. Which friends to keep, and which ones to release Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Related Episodes: Episode 66: The Truth About Anxiety & How to Become a Worry Free Parent with Sissy Goff Episode 67: The Link Between Faith & Emotional Healing—Gen Z, College Life, & A Hidden Search for Meaning with Cindy Gao Episode 65: Vulnerability, Parenting, and Letting Go of Control—Inside A Guy’s Perspective With Our Friends From Dadville Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Sleep deeply and wake gently with Hatch Restore - go to hatch.co/bestofyou to get $20 off and free shipping! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to www.simplemodern.com/bestofyou and by sharing your email you’ll get a unique discount code just for you or bundle and save for back to school. This should be your go to brand for your family. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s episode is straight up 🔥🔥🔥. I got to know Cindy Gao last year, when she reached out to me about an internship. As a student at Harvard College, she experienced a crisis of meaning and found her way to faith—and—to emotional healing. I have loved getting to know Cindy, and I know you are going to love her too. This episode is raw and inspiring. It’s packed with insight into faith, mental health, and Gen Z. Here’s what we cover: 1. The phrase Cindy Googled in a moment of desperation & what she found 2. What to do—and not do—when a young person expresses interest in faith 3. Why emotional healing & faith cannot be separated 4. The core belief that almost kept Cindy from faith 5. The challenges & longings of Gen Z Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Related Episodes: Episode 66: The Truth About Anxiety & How to Become a Worry Free Parent with Sissy Goff Episode 33: People Pleasing & Developing Your Own Inner Compass: Thoughts on Depression, Mental Health & the Church, and Finding Hope in Dark Places Episode 27: 7 Ways We Manage Perceptions Instead of Forging Real Connections Episode 28: The Pain of Performing For Others and How to Claw Your Way Out with Toni Collier Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to www.simplemodern.com/bestofyou and by sharing your email you’ll get a unique discount code just for you or bundle and save for back to school. This should be your go to brand for your family. Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I am thrilled to be back this week, diving into an incredible conversation with beloved therapist, Sissy Goff! We're tackling the topic of anxiety and its ripple effect on our kids and on our parenting styles. With 30 years of experience guiding kids and parents, Sissy brings a wealth of knowledge to the table. Plus, she's sharing tips from her latest book, The Worry Free Parent. We cover so much in this episode, including: 1. A parent’s most important job 2. Why we are seeing more anxiety in kids & parents 3. 5 parenting traps 4. Your parenting superpower 5. Sissy’s moment of hope in the Covenant School shooting aftermath Connect with Sissy on Instagram or at raisingboysandgirls.com Pre-order The Worry Free Parent by Sissy Goff and get a free bonus chapter Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Related Episodes: Episode 6: Do I Really Have an Inner Child? What It Means to Reparent Yourself Episode 54: Can I Pray My Anxiety Away? A Surprising Approach to the Anxiety Pandemic & How to Walk Yourself & Your Kids Through It Episode 39: Boundaries for Your Soul—How to Navigate Your Overwhelming Thoughts & Feelings Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Head to GreenPan.us and use promo code BESTOFYOU and you’ll receive 30% OFF YOUR ENTIRE ORDER plus free shipping on orders over $99. Go to Reliefband.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to receive 20% off plus free shipping. Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Research shows that many men are struggling and not sure how to get support. So I asked our friends from the Dadville podcast to come on and talk about how to encourage the guys in your life! What a joy to host this insightful and fun duo! Jon McLaughlin and Dave Barnes are best known for their careers as musicians and song writers, but on theiroff-time, they encourage and inspire us on their popular parenting podcast, Dadville. You’ll find so much wisdom in this conversation, including: 1. How to find joy in the dream vs. the destination 2. Guys and vulnerability 3. The true goal of parenting 4. Why we all have to face our own blind spots 5. A beautiful picture of letting go of control with our kids Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Related Episodes: Episode 32: Productivity and the Never Ending To Do List: How to Stop Hustling & Embrace the Joy of Enough Episode 28: The Pain of Performing For Others and How to Claw Your Way Out with Toni Collier Therapy Adjacent Series: Episode 63: Spiritual Direction, the Power of Listening, & How to Attune to Yourself and to Others Episode 64: Women’s Health—Menopause, Hormones, Depression and How to Advocate for Yourself Through Your Body’s Changes Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! AquaTru comes with a 30-day Money-Back Guarantee so if you don’t like it just send it back for a refund, minus shipping. If you've been searching for a better alternative to traditional healthcare and want to take your health to new heights, visit www.WildHealth.com/Premium to apply for membership. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is an absolute must-listen! If you're a woman journeying through your 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond, or if you're parenting a daughter, you don't want to miss this conversation. We dive into women's health, including menopause, perimenopause, hormone shifts, reproductive health, and ways to empower young women and girls. Dr. Leslie Appiah is a nationally-acclaimed OB/GYN who has helped women and girls for decades. Her practical and insightful approach is such a needed voice for all women. Here’s some of what we cover: 1. The impact of hormones on mental health 2. How to get relief for perimenopause and menopause symptoms 3. When to consider an anti-depressant 4. Why your physician might not have a clue 5. How to find one who will! 6. How to empower your daughters to live free of body shame Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison or Dr. Appiah?⁠ Leave them here. Related Episodes: Episode 63: Spiritual Direction, the Power of Listening, & How to Attune to Yourself and to Others Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to www.simplemodern.com/bestofyou and by sharing your email you’ll get a unique discount code just for you or bundle and save for back to school. This should be your go to brand for your family. Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Head to GreenPan.us and use promo code BESTOFYOU and you’ll receive 30% OFF YOUR ENTIRE ORDER plus free shipping on orders over $99. Go to Reliefband.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU for 20% off plus free shipping. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Imagine if someone sat with you and listened to you attentively for as long as you needed. That’s what I experienced through a series of spiritual listening retreats. And today, I invited the Rev. Dr. Stephen Macchia and spiritual director in training, Rowena Day to talk with us about the practice of spiritual direction and deep listening as one component of your mental, emotional, and spiritual health. This episode is so rich, so soothing, and so deeply nourishing. As a therapist, I have found spiritual direction to be a powerful part of my own mental health practices. It’s also taught me how to become a better listener in my relationships with others. Here’s what we discuss: 1. The deepest need we all have 2. How to attune to your own soul 3. The neurobiology of presence 4. What to do if quiet is hard for you 5. The links between spiritual and mental health Connect with Dr. Stephen Macchia and Spiritual Formation resources here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Related Episodes: Episode 31 and Episode 44 with Rowena Day Episode 36: An Update on My Social Media Detox & How to Create Boundaries With Toxic Distractions, Numbing, & Unhealthy Coping Tactics Episode 47: Spiritual Bypassing vs. Embodied Faith & How Not to Harm Those Who Are Hurting, Including Yourself Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. If you've been searching for a better alternative to traditional healthcare and want to take your health to new heights, visit www.WildHealth.com/Premium to apply for membership. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to receive UP TO 39%! Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're trying something new! We've gathered up your most-asked questions about friendship and discuss them on the podcast. These are such thoughtful and real questions, and I love thinking through them with you. Here's what we cover: 1. The mother wound and female friendships 2. Managing expectations through your own healing season 3. Assessing trust in a new friend 4. Navigating a terminal diagnosis with friends 5. What about helping others who can't reciprocate friendship? For communication scripts check out, ⁠⁠check out The Best of You⁠⁠. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episodes: Episode 58: How to Find Friends Who Bring out the Best of You, Why it Matters, and How a Good Friend Can Transform Your Life with Dr. Curt Thompson, Amy Cella, and Pepper Sweeney Episode 59: Finding Your People, Overcoming Past Hurt, & Deepening Friendships Through Intentional Community with Jennie Allen Episode 60: How to Make New Friends, Overcome People Pleasing, Identify Red and Green Flags, & Extract Yourself From an Unhealthy Situation with Aundi Kolber and Dr. Monique Gadson Episode 61: Reconnecting With Old Friends—Healing the Past, Naming Regret & Bringing Your Whole Self into the Future Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to www.simplemodern.com/bestofyou and by sharing your email, you’ll get a unique discount code just for you. Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is so special! I sit down with my 3 childhood friends, including my older sister, as we describe what happens when you bring your past self into your present. We were close all through high school, but life took us on different paths, to different cities, and through different experiences of faith, marriage, and family life. Over 2 decades later, we reconvened and replayed the tape of our lives—each one of us bearing witness to the other. Today, we share with you what we discovered about the power of reclaiming your past. I pray this episode sparks your imagination and ignites your desire as you consider pulling in old and new friends as companions on your journey toward wholeness. Here's what we cover: 1. Why 4 childhood friends reconnected to each other—and our past selves 2. How diverse perspectives strengthened, not divided, our rekindled friendships 3. Confronting & overcoming regret 4. How revisiting my sister’s teen pregnancy became a catalyst for healing 5. What we'd each say to our younger selves now. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episodes: Episode 58: How to Find Friends Who Bring out the Best of You, Why it Matters, and How a Good Friend Can Transform Your Life with Dr. Curt Thompson, Amy Cella, and Pepper Sweeney Episode 59: Finding Your People, Overcoming Past Hurt, & Deepening Friendships Through Intentional Community with Jennie Allen Episode 60: How to Make New Friends, Overcome People Pleasing, Identify Red and Green Flags, & Extract Yourself From an Unhealthy Situation with Aundi Kolber and Dr. Monique Gadson Thanks to our sponsors: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Making new friends is hard as an adult! We’ve been hurt. We’ve changed and outgrown old ways. So how do we find new friends? And how do we learn to trust after trust has been broken? Today, I’m joined by 2 of my new friends, Aundi Kolber and Dr. Monique Gadson, as we discuss how to overcome past hurts and brave the work of finding new friends. This episode is packed with practical tips, and I was so touched by the raw emotion that surfaced at the end as we each reflect on our own experiences. Here’s what we cover: 1. Friendship red flags 2. Green flags that indicate safety 3. The impact of trauma on friendships 4. Breaking free from people pleasing 5. How to “break up” with a potential friend 6. Is friendship about quality or quantity? Connect with Aundi Kolber and Dr. Monique Gadson Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions about friendship for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episodes: ⁠Episode 14⁠: The Fawn Response and the Hidden Root of People Pleasing Episode 33 with Dr. Monique Gadson Episode 58: How to Find Friends Who Bring out the Best of You, Why it Matters, and How a Good Friend Can Transform Your Life with Dr. Curt Thompson, Amy Cella, and Pepper Sweeney Episode 59: Finding Your People, Overcoming Past Hurt, & Deepening Friendships Through Intentional Community with Jennie Allen Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I loved this beautiful and honest conversation about friendship with Jennie Allen, bestselling author of Find Your People and founder of IF:Gathering. She shares candidly about a painful season where she felt alone and how she’s learned to lean into deep community, even when it's messy. If you’ve ever struggled with feeling lonely, misunderstood, or like it’s hard to trust other people, please listen to this episode. There are so many gems in it, including: 1. Our greatest fear in friendship 2. How to say “that hurt” to a friend 3. What prompted Jennie to close off to friendship for a season 4. How she found her way into trusting relationships again 5. The healing power of knowing others & being known by them Order Find Your People here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episodes: Episode 58: How to Find Friends Who Bring out the Best of You, Why it Matters, and How a Good Friend Can Transform Your Life with Dr. Curt Thompson, Amy Cella, and Pepper Sweeney Episode 33: People Pleasing & Developing Your Own Inner Compass: Thoughts on Depression, Mental Health & the Church, and Finding Hope in Dark Places Episode 17: What is Church Hurt and How do I Heal? Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm so excited to announce our brand-new series, "Friends on Friendships"! Join us over the next 5 weeks as we learn together how to forge transformative, healing, and life-giving friendships. We are kicking things off with an incredible conversation with Dr. Curt Thompson, Amy Cella, and Pepper Sweeney, who are real life friends and hosts of The Being Known Podcast. We laughed so much during this episode, and at least 2 of us also cried 🙈 . You don't want to miss all the gems about friendship throughout this conversation. Here’s what we cover: 1. Why friendship is a risk worth taking 2. The most important ingredient for safe friendships 3. The physics of “taking your friends with you” (even when they can't be with you). 4. Laughter as a form of intimacy 5. Why 3 is most definitely not a crowd 6. Glimmers vs. Triggers Check out Curt’s brand new book The Deepest Place! Learn more about Confessional Communities ⁠here⁠. Do you have questions about this series for Dr. Alison?⁠ ⁠Leave them here⁠. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episodes: Episode 20: Making Peace with Yourself (& Facing Your Fear of Disappointing Other People) Episode 27: 7 Ways We Manage Perceptions Instead of Forging Real Connections Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Wild Health has opened 10 spots in their Premium Program for BEST OF YOU listeners. Visit www.WildHealth.com/Premium to apply for membership. Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Phew! Today’s episode gets fiery 🔥🔥🔥! Many of us were taught to “turn the other cheek” as a call to be a doormat or to naively “love someone” into change. In today's episode, I’m not holding back as I paint a picture of what I think the Bible really teaches about standing firm against toxicity. You'll discover a completely different picture of what it means to turn the other cheek. Here's what we cover: 1. What "turn the other cheek" really means 2. What the Bible has to say about toxic behavior 3. Why it doesn’t work to “love people” into change 4. Examples of toxicity & how to protect yourself 5. How to be shrewd when dealing with gossip, cruelty or manipulation Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Other episodes in this series: Episode 54: Can I Pray My Anxiety Away? A Surprising Approach to the Anxiety Pandemic & How to Walk Yourself & Your Kids Through It Episode 55: Am I Supposed to Distrust Myself? Why Trusting Yourself is Necessary to Establishing Healthy Relationships With Other People Episode 56: Am I Really Supposed to Die to Myself? Misconstrued Messages and How to Disentangle From Them Boundaries and the Bible Youtube Series What Does the Bible Really Say Youtube Series Thanks to our sponsors: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Visit christiankitchenscoffee.com and use code bestofyou for a 10% discount on your first order! Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re hitting hard today on this question “Am I really supposed to die to myself?” So many have been encouraged to misapply the message of self-denial in ways that are not healthy. So what does the Bible really say about it? Here’s what we cover: 1. What "deny yourself" really means 2. 3 different types of people 3. A surprising invitation 4. A practical exercise to apply to your own life 5. Your Questions: Healed vs. Saved Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Other episodes in this series: Episode 54: Can I Pray My Anxiety Away? A Surprising Approach to the Anxiety Pandemic & How to Walk Yourself & Your Kids Through It Episode 55: Am I Supposed to Distrust Myself? Why Trusting Yourself is Necessary to Establishing Healthy Relationships With Other People Youtube Series: What Does the Bible Really Say Boundaries for Your Soul Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to fuller.edu/bestofyou to learn more about Fuller’s MS in Marriage and Family Therapy program. Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to receive UP TO 39%! Visit christiankitchenscoffee.com and use code bestofyou for a 10% discount on your first order! Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we're talking all about self-trust—how we develop it, and why it's so crucial to the health of our relationships with other people. We also talk about how trusting God is a process that develops in the context of healthy relationships. Here's what we cover: 1. The surprising foundation for trust 2. The role of attachment 3. 3 relationships that contribute to trust 4. What to do if you are too trusting of others 5. A first step toward building self-trust Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode ⁠here⁠. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ ⁠Leave them here.⁠ Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email ⁠here. Related Episodes: Episode 54: Can I Pray My Anxiety Away? A Surprising Approach to the Anxiety Pandemic & How to Walk Yourself & Your Kids Through It Episode 23: Am I wounded or am I sinful? Episode 51: The 12 Common Thinking Traps, Mind Reading, Mental Filters, and How To Stop Taking Things Personally Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Listen & subscribe to Wear We Are! Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Visit christiankitchenscoffee.com and use code bestofyou for a 10% discount on your first order! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s conversation is pure fire! We're talking all things anxiety with Curtis Chang, author of a brand new book, The Anxiety Opportunity. This is such a fresh take on anxiety, unlike anything you’ve heard at church or in the secular culture. We also touch on the problem of how most of us have been taught to view heaven, and how recasting that vision has everything to do with anxiety. If you’ve struggled with anxiety or if you have kids who struggle with anxiety, please do not miss this episode. Here’s what we cover: 1. The problem with the “prayer” or “pill” approach to anxiety 2. The anxiety pandemic 3. The most important thing we can do to help our anxious kids 4. Did Jesus experience anxiety? 5. Curtis’s experience with crippling anxiety 6. The surprising discovery he made in therapy 7. Why heaven is not what you think it is & how that changes everything Pick up your copy of The Anxiety Opportunity here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Head over to WildHealth.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU to get 20% at checkout. Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We are talking all about finding our strengths today with my friend, Laura Cootsona, an accomplished coach, consultant, and non-profit executive. She walks us through StrengthsFinder, a tool that helps you identify and lean into your strengths and uncover the strengths of others. Research shows that leaning into your strengths at work and in life is absolutely life-changing. Here’s what we cover: 1. How to identify strengths to unleash your potential 2. The link between strengths and enjoying your work 3. Understanding the downside of your strong points 4. How to team up with other strengths 5. How to build a strength-based family Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Other episodes in this series: Episode 49: Personality, the Big Five Traits, and Why Are We So Obsessed With Personality Types? Episode 50: 9 Types of Intelligence, the Trap of Comparison, and How to Connect More Authentically with God Episode 51: The 12 Common Thinking Traps, Mind Reading, Mental Filters, and How To Stop Taking Things Personally Episode 52: The Enneagram—9 Ways to Uncover the Best (and Worst) of Who You Are, Get Honest With Yourself, & Improve Your Relationships Thanks to our sponsors: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What a rich conversation with Enneacast hosts Jesse Eubanks and Lindsey Lewis about the 9 types of the Enneagram! We talk everything from mistyping women to Jesus, Kevin Hart, and the Apostle Paul. This is a great episode to share with your family, small group, and friends—it's an opportunity for honest conversations about your areas of brilliance. . .and the blind spots we all have. Here’s what we cover: 1. The 9 different types 2. Your Enneagram number as one part of who you are 3. The Enneagram and narcissism 4. Why celebration is a discipline we all need to practice 5. How to love types that trigger us 6. The difference between comfort and shalom 7. What type was Jesus? Paul? Peter? Tom Brady? Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episodes: Episode 49: Personality, the Big Five Traits, and Why Are We So Obsessed With Personality Types? Episode 50: 9 Types of Intelligence, the Trap of Comparison, and How to Connect More Authentically with God Episode 51: The 12 Common Thinking Traps, Mind Reading, Mental Filters, and How To Stop Taking Things Personally Boundaries for Your Soul Series Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Please visit christianapp.org/mentalhealthtsf to donate today! Go to fuller.edu/bestofyou to learn more about Fuller’s MS in Marriage and Family Therapy program. Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you catastrophize? struggle with taking a compliment? Are you a mind reader? A minimizer? Or do you tend to take things personally? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you do not want to miss today's episode. We're discussing 12 common thinking traps, what psychologists call cognitive distortions. These are ways of thinking that trip up every single one of us. The messages you tell yourself have a direct impact on the health of your relationships, so this is a great one to share with your family or friends. Here's what we cover: 1. 12 common thinking traps 2. How to avoid toxic shame spirals 3. The problem with mind reading 4. How to stop taking things personally 5. The trap of emotional reasoning 6. Why we all need to learn how to take a compliment Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Order Aundi Kolber's new book, Strong Like Water today! Check out Nuts.com/bestofyou. You’ll receive a free gift and free shipping when you spend $29 or more! Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we're digging into intelligence. And believe me, it's not what you were taught! If you've struggled with comparing yourself to others, feeling inadequate, or unsure of your unique gifts (and that's pretty much all of us), you don't want to miss this episode! Here's what we cover: 1. What is intelligence? 2. Why it's different than what you were taught 3. 9 different types of intelligence 4. 2 toxic consequences of comparing ourselves to others 5. 9 ways to connect with God Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Order Aundi Kolber's new book, Strong Like Water today! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week marks the launch of our brand new series, My Favorite Psychology Tools, and we're kicking things off with a deep dive into the fascinating world of personality types. With so many fads and trends out there, it can be hard to know what's actually backed by research. That's why we're here to separate fact from fiction and give you the inside scoop on what personality really is and what the latest research tells us about it. Here's what we cover: 1. What is personality and why we're so fascinated with it 2. The benefits and pitfalls in personality tests 3. The 5 most researched personality traits 4. The mysterious H Factor and why it's so important 5. How personality traits show up in the Bible Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. See also Episode 1: What Is Narcissism Really? Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ ⁠today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Order Aundi Kolber's new book, ⁠Strong Like Water⁠ today! Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gosh, it can be hard to live in a body, let alone learn to love it. We have so many demands that compete for our attention, not to mention all the mixed up messages we get as women—how in the world are we supposed to honor these bodies God has given us? In today's episode, we're honoring these long-suffering bodies of ours. Here's what we cover: 1. Why so many of us bypass the body 2. 4 insights from psychology about the body 3. 3 ancient heresies that sneak into our modern thinking 4. The difference between what the Bible calls "flesh" and "body" 5. How to honor your body as part of spiritual practice 6. Why I am learning to dance again (but definitely not in public) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related episodes: Episode 11: How to Start Loving Your Body with Christy Joy Episode 19: My Stroke, A Process of Healing, and How I Began to Write The Best of You Episode 36: An Update on My Social Media Detox & How to Create Boundaries With Toxic Distractions, Numbing, & Unhealthy Coping Tactics Episode 45: Strong like Water—Finding the Freedom, Safety, & Compassion to Move through Hard Things & Experience True Flourishing with Aundi Kolber Episode 46: People Pleasing as Survival, How Jesus Regulated Emotions & the Problem With Toxic Positivity and Spiritual Bypassing with Aundi Kolber Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You. Thanks to our sponsors: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Order Aundi Kolber's new book, Strong Like Water today! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the podcast, we're kicking off a mini 2-episode series on loving our bodies as a spiritual practice. Today, I dig into the problem of over-spiritualizing and how that does harm to ourselves and to others. Here's what we cover: 1. What is spiritual bypassing? 2. Does every problem have a spiritual solution? 3. How we spiritually bypass ourselves 4. How not to be a "friend of Job" 5. The antidote to spiritual bypassing 6. An example of spiritual bypassing from the Bible Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Related episodes: Episode 46: People Pleasing as Survival, How Jesus Regulated Emotions & the Problem With Toxic Positivity and Spiritual Bypassing with Aundi Kolber Want to receive free bonus content? Sign up for my free weekly email Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Order Dr. Amen's new book, Change Your Brain Every Day today! Hiya Health—Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Phew! Buckle up. Part 2 of my conversation with Aundi Kolber is out today, and it is absolute 🔥🔥🔥! We set aside the script and got real about our own experiences , including. . . 1. How people pleasing becomes a survival response 2. The shame we feel when we start to change 3. Alison's unexpected experience of comfort in a crisis 4. Jesus and the Nervous System 5. Did Jesus ever get "activated"? 6. The problem with toxic positivity & spiritual bypassing Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Check out Aundi Kolber's new book, Strong Like Water anywhere books are sold! Listen to Part 1 of our conversation: Episode 45 More about the Fawn Response: Episode 14 More about Trauma: Episode 4 Want to receive free bonus content? Sign up for my free weekly email. Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Order Dr. Amen's new book, Change Your Brain Every Day today! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What an honor to have my friend and fellow therapist, Aundi Kolber on the podcast today! You do not want to miss Part 1 of our two-part conversation on her brand new book, Strong like Water: Finding the Freedom, Safety, and Compassion to Move through Hard Things--and Experience True Flourishing Aundi and I connected through social media, and she has become the dearest real life friend. It was my absolute honor to have this conversation with her about her personal story and her new book, Strong Like Water, available for pre-order now. Here's what we cover. . . 1. Why it's unsustainable to always be the "strong one" 2. The brave decision that led to her to reimagine strength 3. 3 different types of strength and how to move between them 4. How to find safety when you need it the most 5. The difference between information and whole body transformation 6. How Aundi has come to understand strength now Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Want free bonus content? Sign up for my free weekly email Related Episodes: Episode 15: CPTSD—The Pain of A Million Paper Cuts Episode 4: What Do I Need To Know About Trauma? Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's episode is all about anger. It's an emotion that can do great harm and one that also has great benefits. Whether you thrive on anger or try your best to bury it, one thing's for sure—we all have to reckon with it. When you learn to work with your anger, it can become a powerful force for good in your life and in the lives of the people you love. Today, my friend Rowena Day (see Episode 31) returns to the podcast as we discuss how we've learned to create space for healthy anger in our lives. Here's what we cover: 1. Practical strategies to befriend and build trust with anger 2. The guilt and fear we feel about having anger 3. How to manage anger while parenting 4. Examples of speaking on behalf of anger vs. from it 5. The problem with comparing our pain to the pain of others 6. Jesus and anger Be sure to pick up your 3 free Boundaries for Your Soul resources. Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Thanks to our sponsors: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Visit Brooklinen.com today and use code BESTOFYOU to save. Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, I am joined by my friend and co-author of Boundaries for Your Soul, Kimberly Miller, to discuss the almighty inner critic, how to get space from it, and how to bring this work into your relationships. Kim describes how she first encountered Internal Family Systems (IFS) and how combining it with Christian faith and practice changed her life. We discuss: 1. How Kim finally healed the ache in her heart 2. The most ubiquitous part of the soul 3. Why self-acceptance is better than self-condemnation 4. How to differentiate from painful emotions 5. A real-time exercise for quieting your inner critic 6. How this work translates into marriage Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Connect with Kimberly Miller at kimberlyjunemiller.com or on Insight Timer Be sure to pick up your 3 free Boundaries for Your Soul resources here. Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You here. Other Episodes in this Series: Episode 39: Boundaries for Your Soul—How to Navigate Your Overwhelming Thoughts & Feelings Episode 40: 5 Steps to Healing Painful Emotions & Why Parts of Us Get Stuck in the Past Episode 41: Boundaries With Fear And Anxiety—How to Calm the Chaos Within and the Joy of Internal Boundaries Episode 42: How to Honor Sadness, Set Boundaries with Loneliness, and What to Do When You Don’t Have Time for this Work Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You need your pain. Grief makes you real, and disappointment can inspire creativity, change, and growth. Sadness brings texture to the joys we experience. And yet, it's also not wise to let sadness take us over. In today's episode, we discuss how to set healthy boundaries with emotions like sadness and loneliness. Here's what we cover: —The surprising benefits of sadness —3 types of grief —The science of tears and how they help us —What loneliness needs to heal —Childhood play and how it informs your adult dreams —What to do when you just don't have the time for the pain Be sure to pick up your 3 free Boundaries for Your Soul resources here. Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Listen & subscribe to The Snack Show - https://tinyurl.com/TheSnackShowPodcast Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You here. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So many of us live at war with ourselves. We hate our anxiety or battle with fear. We beat ourselves up or try to get rid of these parts of us. But this approach only makes things worse. One of the most surprising ways to calm your anxiety is to stop waging war against it. In today's episode we discuss how to honor your fear and soothe your anxiety so that you are in charge of them, not the other way around. Here's what we cover: 1. A picture of healthy internal boundaries 2. How anxiety tries to protect us 3. The surprising truth about fear 4. How to establish healthy boundaries with both fear and anxiety 5. Fear and the Bible 6. 5 Steps to work through fear and anxiety Be sure to pick up your 3 free Boundaries for Your Soul resources here. Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Thanks to our sponsors: Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Hiya Health—Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You here. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you ever feel like a part of your soul is trapped in the past, holding you back from fully embracing the present and moving forward? Pain, fear, worry, or even bitterness can weigh heavy on our hearts and minds. This is a common experience for all of us at times. In today's episode, I guide you through a 5 step process of healing and growth. We'll discuss how to mend the parts of your soul that are causing you distress. Here's what we cover: 1. 5 Steps to healing painful emotions 2. How to overcome criticism, shame, and judgment 3. 4 Questions to grow in self-discovery 4. A surprising way to pray throughout the day 5. Why parts of us struggle to experience God's love Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You here. Remember, this journey is a process, not a one-time event. With the right tools and guidance, you can learn to make peace with the parts of yourself. Be sure to pick up your 3 free Boundaries for Your Soul resources here. Thanks to our sponsors: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp-- Go to www.betterhelp.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 10% off your first month! Organifi- Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Brooklinen-- Go to Brooklinen.com today and use code BESTOFYOU to save! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We all need a map to our soul. A way to understand the emotions, the wounds, the areas that feel broken. That's what I love about the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model of therapy—it provides a map that everybody can incorporate into their daily spiritual practice. It's your guide to navigating overwhelming thoughts and feelings. Today on the podcast, I'm walking you through this map, including the following: 1. A picture of wholeness 2. The cost of not tending your inner life 3. A map of the parts of your soul 4. The 3 types of parts we all have 5. How Jesus relates to each part 6. What it means to have healthy boundaries inside your soul Get your 3 free Boundaries for Your Soul resources here. Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Thanks to our sponsors: Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! Hiya Health—Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Have questions you want me to address on our next podcast series? Leave them here. Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You here. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on the podcast, I'm talking with my friend and teaching pastor at Crossroads Church in Cincinnati, Alli Patterson, about her new book, How to Stay Standing. In this powerful and practical episode, Alli shares her own story of hitting rock bottom when the scaffolding of her life collapsed, and how she rebuilt the foundation from the ground up. We discuss the following: 1. How tiny decisions can lead us toward devastating realities 2. What kept Alli from making eye contact for over 6 months 3. How shame sneaks in, even when you know you’ve been forgiven by God 4. The power of telling your story in safe places 5. 3 practical ways to build a strong foundation 6. How to take risks on God Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Thanks to our sponsors: Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! Hiya Health— Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You here. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we're discussing how to detox from the false beliefs that keep us stuck in unhealthy patterns of relating to other people. These hidden messages are sneaky. They might sound true in the moment, but they keep us from the healthy two-way relationships we need. Here's what we discuss: 1. Examples of toxic thinking 2. How it contaminates our relationships 3. An example of toxic thinking from the Bible 4. How to re-frame toxic thoughts Plus, I answer your questions: —How do I communicate with other people about what I'm going through? —Can spiritual bypassing become a form of numbing? Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Thanks to our sponsor: Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Resources in this episode: For more on The 7 Red Flags of Friendship and Spiritual Bypassing, see Chapters 8 and 10 of The Best of You, by Dr. Alison Cook Episode 1: What Is Narcissism Really? Episode 2: What Should I Know About Gaslighting? Episode 35: Change is Hard–Why We All Need to Detox From Unhealthy Dependencies From Time to Time Episode 36: An Update on My Social Media Detox & How to Create Boundaries With Toxic Distractions, Numbing, & Unhealthy Coping Tactics Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's episode is a real-time update on my own social media detox and how what started as a pause revealed a deeper need. I also lay out a practical framework for you to use in identifying the distractions, numbing, or unhealthy coping tactics in your life and how to replace them with the life-giving, soul-nourishing things you actually crave. We cover: 1. What my own detox revealed about my use of social media 2. A roadmap for how to pinpoint areas in your own life that might need a detox 3. Healthy ways to escape, soothe, or find comfort 4. What is the difference between a fast and a detox? 5. Can I find a healthy balance with certain "distractions"? Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here Thanks to our sponsors: Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Brooklinen—Visit Brooklinen.com today and use code BESTOFYOU to save. Hiya Health—Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Also in this series: Episode 35: Change is Hard–Why We All Need to Detox From Unhealthy Dependencies From Time to Time For more on how to "Start with Yes" see Chapter 6 of The Best of You, by Dr. Alison Cook Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we're digging into the hidden dependencies that creep in and keep us from the good things we need. The New Year tends to be a time of hope. We sense the possibility of change and are energized to set goals. But so often we move forward without first addressing the hidden dependencies that thwart our best efforts. Here's what we discuss in today's episode: 1. Why we all need to “detox” from time to time 2. Examples of “good things” we can start to depend on in unhealthy ways 3. The role of pleasure, comfort, and healthy escape 4. The essential question to ask yourself before you consider introducing any change 5. What I learned by going offline for 6 weeks Thanks to our sponsors: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp —Go to www.betterhelp.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 10% off your first month! Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! Sign up for The Best of You Book Club launching January 9th. Get 2 books free + free shipping when you buy 3. Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This New Year, I'm trying something new: I'm going to respond to your questions as we move through a series. Check out Episode 3: What Is Self-Love And Should I Really Love Myself? for the MEPS exercise referenced in this trailer. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So many of us have had negative experiences with power. It feels like something to fear, something bad, or something to avoid all together. But what if God wants us to step into our power in a healthy way? And what if understanding the power we have is at the core of building healthy connections with other people? Today's episode is straight from my heart and from my own tenuous relationship with power. Here's what I cover: 1. What is power? 2. Why we think of power as bad 3. What healthy power looks like 4. The problems that arise when we do not claim our own power 5. Different ways power is abused 6. Why women in particular tend to avoid their own power 7. The paradigm-shattering example of power in the birth of Jesus Thanks to our sponsors: Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! Download Abide Sleep and Pray Meditation and text my promo code BESTOFYOU to 22433 today to get 25% off! Sign up for my free weekly email here. Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik Learn more about 6 Painful Parenting Patterns and 7 Friendship Red Flags in The Best of You, by Dr. Alison Cook To learn more about the parts of your soul, check out my book with Kimberly Miller, Boundaries for Your Soul Power - "the capacity or ability to direct or influence the behavior of others or the course of events." (Oxford Language Dictionaries) Podcast episodes referenced: Episode 1: What Is Narcissism Really? Episode 2: What Should I Know About Gaslighting? Episode 24: Boundaries, the Spectrum of Toxicity, and a Note About Evil Episode 25: Types of No Part 1—How to Say “No” in Healthy Relationships Episode 26: Types of "No" Part 2—How to Say "No" to Toxicity, The Real Meaning of Turn the Other Cheek & How to Form a Boundaries Committee Scriptures referenced: * Philippians 2:1-11 * Matthew 7:6 While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Were you subtly conditioned to please others at the expense of yourself? I loved talking with my friend and fellow therapist, Dr. Monique Gadson, on today's episode of the podcast. We met through an IG Live prayer session! She's since become the best sort of real-life friend—someone whose wisdom, empathy, and realness breathes life into weary souls. If you've struggled with depression or felt overlooked—even as you constantly show up for others—please lean in close. Dr. Monique is candid about her own journey through depression and how she lost herself in all the voices around her. In a powerful turn of events, Monique began to bring mental health directly to the center of the church, where she's practiced as a counselor for decades. We cover so much in today's episode, including: 1. A key moment from childhood when she learned to please others 2. Monique’s experience as a PK 3. The burden of always attuning to others when you're disconnected from your own self 4. Monique’s early experience with depression and how she got help 5. Practical tips if you struggle with feeling “joy” at the holidays 6. Finding your own way as a parent amidst all of the voices 7. Monique's call to bring mental health *into* the church 8. Jesus and people pleasing 9. The power of friendship to bring hope in dark places Check out Dr. Monique's brand new book with Clarence Shuler, Finding Hope in A Dark Place: Facing Loneliness, Depression, and Anxiety with the Power of Grace. Connect with Dr. Monique at drmoniquesmithgadson.com or on Instagram @drmoniquesmithgadson If you are struggling with depression, please find resources for support on my website. Thanks to our sponsors: Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp —Go to www.betterhelp.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 10% off your first month! Download Abide Sleep and Pray Meditation and text my promo code BESTOFYOU to 22433 today to get 25% off! Get your print, ebook, or audio copy of The Best of You anywhere books are sold. Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you that person who gets the job done, no matter the cost to yourself? You're productive, you bring the results. But sometimes you don't realize how exhausted you are—you just know there's still work to be done. If your inner task manager tends to take you (or someone you love) over, do not miss this episode with my friend and fellow therapist, Rebecca Ching. It's all about the blessing and the cost of being a highly productive, can-do person. Rebeca speaks candidly about managing childhood trauma through becoming extremely productive—a survival skill she took with her deep into her adult life. You'll also hear more about our friendship, including the opposite ways we operate in order to protect ourselves. 1. The moment Rebecca, as a young girl, walked out on a family therapy session 2. The story of being mugged together in our early 20’s 3. How to re-org your inner circle to protect the health of your family 4. The shaming voice that surfaces when you give yourself permission to down-shift 5. The problem with the word “busy” 6. Key questions to ask in order to simplify your life. 7. Surprising ways you can start to rest & play 8. How faith messages can intensify productivity in not-so helpful ways Connect with Rebecca at The Unburdened Leader Podcast or www.rebeccaching.com Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Thanks to our sponsors: Organifi —Go to Organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! Check out the Raising Boys and Girls Podcast at raisingboysandgirls.com/podcast. Learn more about Fight / Flight / Freeze / Fawn Responses and The 7 P's of Managing Perceptions in my new book, The Best of You To learn more about Unburdening and the Internal Family Systems model, check out my book with Kimberly Miller, Boundaries for Your Soul Rebecca mentions The Daring Way certification program with Brené Brown Verses referenced: Mark 1:11 “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.” Proverbs 4:23 "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You want to keep the peace at all costs. The problem is sometimes anger is warranted. Sometimes conflict is needed. What do you do when everything in you does not want to be the one to speak up? On today’s episode, I am joined by my dear friend Rowena Day. This is a powerful conversation for anyone who has struggled with conflict, avoided anger, or stayed quiet to get along. The second half of this episode is a WHOLE WORD. Listen in for deep wisdom on how to come out of that protective peacekeeping shell and start using your voice. Do not miss the end, when Rowena describes what she’s learning about finding her voice from parenting 4 young children. And check out the shownotes on my website where we have listed all of the amazing books, videos, music, and devotionals mentioned in this episode! Here’s what we touch on: 1. Why it’s normal to talk to yourself and how to pay attention to that inner dialogue 2. The power of attunement—and why interrupting and fixing each other doesn’t work 3. Why we learn to mute our voices 4. The power of generational messages 5. Why we push anger aside, especially as women 6. Why it’s important for peacekeepers to make friends with anger 7. Rowena’s experience of speaking up about toxic behavior she was witnessing 8. Blame shifting and scapegoating in faith communities 9. Embracing the wildness of your soul 10. The double bind culture puts women in when it comes to using your voice 11. What we can learn from our children Thanks to our sponsors: Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! Download Abide Sleep and Pray Meditation and text my promo code BESTOFYOU to 22433 today to get 25% off! Get your print, ebook, or audio copy of The Best of You anywhere books are sold. Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's episode of The Best of You Podcast is in honor of the Thanksgiving holiday, and the holiday season in general. If you're dealing with a mixture of emotions today, this episode is for you. Holidays are complicated, and in today’s episode, I walk you through how to honor what’s hard, even as you give thanks for what’s good. We'll discuss: 1. Why it's normal for mixed emotions to show up on a holiday 2. How old ways of managing kick in—and leave us exhausted 3. How to take brave steps to honor vs. manage hard emotions 4. The myth of the perfect family, the perfect holiday, or the perfect experience of gratitude 5. What we can learn from 5 characters in my favorite children's book Thanks to our sponsors: Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp —Go to www.betterhelp.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 10% off your first month! Get your print, ebook, or audio copy of The Best of You anywhere books are sold. Find a full transcript of the episode and a list of resources mentioned here. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

OK, buckle up, today's conversation on The Best of You podcast goes deep, and we both get really honest about own struggles. I could have talked with Mary for hours about how to get off the treadmill of perfecting and proving your worth—and start claiming the life you actually want. You do not want to miss the end where we get into social media, the curse of comparison, and the approval chain from which no one is immune. We touch on so much in this episode including: 1. The hidden fears that drive us to perfect and prove our way into belonging 2. If we let go of working to earn the approval of others, then what? 3. The moment Mary discovered that chasing gold stars was not leading her to what she actually wanted 4. The pitfalls and perils of social media 5. How to get out of comparison traps 6. The voice in our heads that keeps us running in circles 7. The real mark of emotional health (and it’s *not* never failing or never feeling hurt) 8. 3 questions to ask yourself as you stop chasing approval Connect with Mary at www.marymarantz.com/quiz Thanks to our sponsors: Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! Download Abide Sleep and Pray Meditation and text my promo code BESTOFYOU to 22433 today to get 25% off! Get your print, ebook, or audio copy of The Best of You anywhere books are sold. Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today’s episode of The Best of You podcast, I’m talking with the wonderful and wise Toni Collier who shares bravely about finding herself stuck in the performance trap, and how she clawed her way out. Toni's capability & high capacity helped her survive, but she also wound up exhausted, broken, and numbing. As Toni says, “I had a source, which is God, but the resources I did not have.” And she had to learn to discover a more authentic, wholehearted way. Here's what we discuss: 1. How capability, strength, and achievement can turn into survival strategies 2. Why we turn toward numbing as a way to cope with pain 3. What finally drove her to get help 4. How she started to find healthy relationships and find her way out of the pain 5. Practical ways she keeps the performer part of her in check now 6. What she would say to her young performer's heart now (Be ready for some tears on this one. . .) Check out Toni’s new book, Brave Enough to be Broken anywhere books are sold. Thanks to our sponsor: Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re kicking off a new series on The Best of You Podcast as we move into the last 2 months of the year. How do you shift from managing the perceptions of others to showing up more authentically? In today’s episode, I cover the 7 ways we tend to manage perceptions and why it doesn’t get us the real connections we crave. I also walk you through an exercise you can do NOW (as in, before the holiday haze sets in) to help you make brave decisions this holiday season. Here’s what we cover: 1. What does it mean to manage perceptions and why do we do it? 2. The 7 ways we tend to manage perceptions 3. The 2 main problems with managing perceptions 4. Why we have to “retrain” people (& their expectations of us) 5. Examples of steps you can take to honor yourself & your relationships 6. How to create your own “Yes/No List” to help you make brave decisions 7. The courage it takes to say ‘no’ and how to honor the emotions that inevitably show up when you do Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Thanks to our sponsors: Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! Download Abide Sleep and Pray Meditation and text my promo code BESTOFYOU to 22433 today to get 25% off! Get your print, ebook, or audio copy of The Best of You anywhere books are sold. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on The Best of You podcast, we're getting into how to say No to toxic behaviors—including practical strategies, scripts, and misconstrued bible passages. There’s no one-size fits all when it comes to setting healthy boundaries. A strategy that might work in a healthy releationship won't work with toxicity. It's important to understand the difference. This is a packed episode. Here’s what we discuss: 1. Why toxic behaviors require an entirely different type of "no" 2. An overview of toxic behaviors 3. Extreme toxicity and when to cut off a relationship all together 4. 5 steps to implement a boundary with toxic behavior 5. 3 scripts for 3 different situations 6. What about turning the other cheek? 7. How to form a boundaries committee Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Thanks to our sponsors: Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp —Go to www.betterhelp.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 10% off your first month! Chosen—Check out Season 3 in theaters starting November 18th. For more information, visit TheChosenTickets.com. Get a print, ebook, or audio copy of The Best of You anywhere books are sold. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week and next week on The Best of You podcast, we're getting into 3 types of "No"—including practical strategies, and scripts, for how to say No in different situations. First up is how to say no in healthy relationships. This episode is for you if you struggle to set a boundary, state a preference, or honor your own limits **even with people you know would respect you if you did.** It's hard to disappoint people. It's hard to assert honest needs, wants, and preferences when you've been conditioned to please others, fawn, or always put others first. So today we're focusing on how to exercise your "no muscle" even with people you love. Here's what we discuss: 1. Why learning to say “no” is vital for the the ongoing health of your relationships 2. 5 steps to develop your “no” muscle 3. Why criticism is tempting and how to avoid it 4. How to use “I statements” (and when not to) 5. Scripts for 3 different situations 6. What about when someone says no to you? 7. The hardest category of No I think we all have to face Thanks to our sponsor Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! Get your print, ebook, or audio copy of The Best of You anywhere books are sold. Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on The Best of You podcast, we’re diving into how to discern toxic vs. healthy patterns of behavior. There is no one-size fits all when it comes to setting healthy boundaries. It requires discernment and wisdom; strategy and skill. I discuss what I call the Spectrum of Toxicity and the topic of evil (a topic so many of you have asked me about!) Here’s what we cover: 1. What is toxicity? How does it relate to what the Bible calls evil? 2. What about people who are consistently choosing to do harm? 3. The spectrum of toxicity 4. Behaviors that show up on the healthy side of the spectrum 5. Behaviors that show up on the toxic side of the spectrum 6. The key ingredient that distinguishes health from toxicity 7. The best way to become a discerning, wise (& healthier) person. 8. What does the Bible say about toxicity? Thanks to our sponsor Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! Get your print, ebook, or audio copy of The Best of You anywhere books are sold. Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on the podcast, we're diving into this question I keep bumping up against: Am I wounded or am I a sinner? On one hand we go to church, and we’re told you're sinful; you need to repent, you need to die to yourself. On the other hand, we go to therapy, and we're told you're wounded; you've had trauma. You need to heal, so you can become more of your true self. So which one is it? In today's podcast episode, we discuss: 1. What is woundedness and how does it impact our behaviors? 2. What is sin? 3. The problem of shame 4. What about "the other side of sin" - the wounds of the sinned against? 5. What about repentance? 6. An application from the Bible 7. A next step you can take Thanks to our sponsor Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! Get your print, ebook, or audio copy of The Best of You anywhere books are sold. Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this week’s podcast we’re talking all about building trust with yourself. This *internal* work is so important to the work of setting healthy external boundaries. I share with you an example from my own life and walk you through a process of connecting more deeply to what’s actually happening inside of you. As you connect more deeply to yourself, the boundaries you set with others will flow from a calmer, clearer place within. Here’s what we cover: 1. A promise I made to myself and how it went 2. What to do when you’re activated by someone or something 3. The importance of understanding your own areas of wounding 4. What is a You-Turn? 5. Meeting & honoring the protective parts of you (before acting out of them) 6. How to get to the root of your own hurt (before taking action) 7. Learning to find your voice from that place of clarity deep within Thanks to our sponsor Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! Thanks to our sponsor Better Help —Go to www.betterhelp.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 10% off your first month! Get your print, ebook, or audio copy of The Best of You anywhere books are sold. Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on The Best of You podcast, we're starting a new series on Boundaries and the Bible. And we're starting with what I call the Yes Side of No. So many of us struggle with setting external boundaries because we keep the focus on the other person. But the work of setting boundaries starts inside of you. In today's episode, I walk you through how to build to trust with yourself from the inside out. Here's what we cover: 1. Why I don’t believe boundaries start with No 2. Can I really learn to trust myself? 3. What about sin? 4. What is an internal (vs. external) locus of control and why does it matter? 5. Examples of promises you can make to parts of you carrying pain 6. Examples of promises you can make to your body 7. A challenge to you that we'll circle back to next week. Thanks to our sponsor Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! Get your print, ebook, or audio copy of The Best of You anywhere books are sold. Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sometimes living at peace with other people, means living at peace with disappointing them. It’s incredibly important to balance your responsibility to other people with a deep sense of responsibility to your God-given self. It’s not only good for you. It’s good for other people. Living at peace with yourself is a process of figuring out that balance. Here's what we cover in today's podcast episode: 1. How to make peace with yourself 2. Making friends with yourself 3. Living at peace with others 4. Facing your fear of disappointing other people 5. How Jesus disappointed people 6. How to disappoint people with integrity Thanks to our sponsor Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices