Social Skills Coaching

Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends By Patrick King 00:14:25.120 A Childlike Exercise00:22:30.760 Your Conversation Résumé00:29:56.769 Conversational Stages00:39:29.950 Initial Impressions00:49:59.349 Make the First Move00:56:07.650 Find Similarity01:06:53.740 Manufacture ConnectionHear it Here - https://adbl.co/2Q5CWQMhttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B0871N22LFNetworking events suck, but they can suck less. What to say and when to say to be likable, connect, and make a memorable impression.Actionable and applicable verbal maneuvers for just about every phase of conversation. From hello to goodbye, with strangers or old friends, you'll learn how to simply go deeper. NO MORE: interview mode, awkward silence, or struggling to hold people’s attention.Better Small Talk is a unique read. Imagine the following situation: you've just put on your name tag, and you're approached by a stranger. What do you say? Nice weather today. No, we can do better than this. Learn better small talk to avoid awkwardness, put people at ease, and build real rapport. Learn to open people up without them even realizing it.Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real life experience. He suffered for years as a shy introvert and managed to boil human interaction down to a science - first for himself, and now for you. You'll learn exact dialogues, responses, phrases, and questions to use.•How to tell captivating stories and what to actually focus on. •Four ways to warm yourself up and prepare for even the most unpredictable conversations. •Instantly setting a tone of friendship and openness with strangers. •Common and subtle conversational habits you need to stop right now Become someone who is magnetic and who can make new friends in any situation.Simple conversation is the gatekeeper to friendships, your dream career, romance, and overall happiness. The ability to connect with anyone is an underrated superpower. People will be more drawn to you without even knowing why, and never again people will people be bored talking to you. You’ll never run out of things to say when you master these conversation tactic

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:10:46 Four Easy Self-Disclosure Rules.00:14:38 Mini Self-Disclosures.00:17:30 How to Respond to Someone Else’s Disclosure.Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI• Vulnerability is essential for human connection, and appropriate self-disclosure creates trust, authenticity, and intimacy. Self-disclosure is intentionally sharing personal information that other people wouldn’t know unless we chose to tell them. The most effective kind of self-disclosure is the one that only slightly pushes the current state of affairs toward more intimacy.• Friendship-making is an upward spiral of mutual and incremental disclosures over time. Keep things symmetrical, gradual, positive, and small at first. #BanterLand #Chunking #Derlega #Disclosure #Selfdisclosure #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MakeFriendsEasily #TurningOnTheCharm:PrinciplesOfSelf-Disclosure

The Science of Likability: 60 Evidence-Based Methods to Radiate Charisma, Make a Powerful Impression, Win Friends, and Trigger Attraction By Patrick King.00:02:19 Context-Dependent Memories.00:10:07 The Power of Association.00:15:36 Shut Up and Let ’Em Talk!00:26:10 Equity Within Relationships.00:32:04 Similarity Breeds Liking.00:38:05 This is known as the chameleon effect00:40:09 Three Stages of Friendship Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/likability-promohttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B07VCRTJ59100% scientifically-proven ways to make friends quickly, turn enemies into friends, gain trust, and be flat-out likable.Utilize the most interesting, shocking, and counterintuitive findings in psychological science to simply make people want to be around you.The Science of Likability takes over 60 seminal scientific and psychological studies and breaks them down into real, usable guidelines and tips to create the presence you have always wanted. Every piece of advice in this book to increase your social standing and likability factor is 100% backed by in-depth, peer-reviewed research, and it goes far beyond simple common sense and intuition.Learn how to subconsciously make yourself likable, trustworthy, and intelligent.You can get a new haircut and wardrobe, and you even learn knock-knock jokes. But likability is something more. It's subconscious, and it's about the small signs that signal our brains to let their guards down, seek others out, and embrace them. We know what to do if we want to make someone hate us - we now also know what to do to become someone's favorite person.Understand what makes people tick, and strategically give it to them.There are seminal studies from (in)famous researchers such as Sigmund Freud, Ivan Pavlov, Stanley Schachter, and Daniel Goleman, but also the most up-to-date discoveries from 2019 - all insightful, analytical, sometimes surprising, but most importantly effective and actionable. Pair that with the insight and human intelligence factor of bestselling author and social skills coach Patrick King, and you have a guide that can be read equally for education as for helpful, real advice. Patrick's writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real life experience. Discover:- How to take advantage of people's memories for your sense of charm.- The power of equity in relationships and friendships.- A literal formula for "friendship chemistry."- The real way to use eye contact to build trust.- Why tripping and being vulnerable in front of people is positive.- Universal definitions of charisma, wit, and humor - seriously. Universal.Being likable unlocks the doors to everything you want in life.A better career? You better believe that the people with the most promotions and highest salaries aren't just the most qualified. Better love life? Being likable makes you a potential love interest to anyone you want. Better relationships and friendships? Not only that, but you open the door to people wanting to be friends with you. Likability is the hidden force that makes people appear to be lucky in life and receive more opportunities than they know what to do with. Likability drives us forward, not intelligence or luck.Ultimately, this is a social skills and charisma book to drastically change your presence. Pick up your copy today by clicking the BUY NOW button at the top of this page.This is the first book in the “The Psychology of Social Dynamics” series as listed below:1.The Science of Likability: 60 Evidence-Based Methods to Radiate Charisma, Make a Powerful Impression, Win Friends, and Trigger Attraction [2019 Edition]2.Think Like a Psychologist: How to Analyze Emotions, Read Body Language and Behavior, Understand Motivations, and Decipher Intentions3.The Science of Social Intelligence: 33 Studies to Win Friends, Be Magnetic, Make An Impression, and Use People’s Subconscious Triggers4.The Science of Engineering Attraction & Love: Flirt, Date, and Mate Using Human Psychology5.Introvert Survival Tactics: How to Make Friends, Be More Social, and Be Comfortable In Any Situation (When You’re People’d Out and Just Want to Go Home And Watch TV Alone)6.Control Your Emotions: Gain Balance, Resilience, and Calm; Find Freedom from Stress, Anxiety, and Negativity#Baddeley #Bargh #BernardMurstein #Berscheid #Byrne #ChameleonEffect #Chartrand #ContextDependentMemory #DaleCarnegie #DianaTamir #DonnByrne #EichMacauley #Godden #InterpersonalAttraction #IntrinsicallyRewarding #JasonMitchell #JohnSaneDo #JohnSkowronski #Walster #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheScienceofLikability #HowToMakePeopleDesireYourPresence

Hear it Here - http://bit.ly/improvking00:02:51 Conversation Equals Improv00:09:03 Emotional Intelligence00:12:19 Play 00:19:53 Takeaways Does your mind blank in conversation and create awkward silence? Do you run out of things to say and struggle to keep dialogue flowing?(A) Conversation isn’t scripted, (B) it’s 100% unpredictable, and (C) it can be terrifying at times. How do you prepare for such a thing? By learning how to apply improv comedy techniques to roll with any punch and improve your conversations and social interactions.Become quicker and more clever in daily conversation.Improv(e) Your Conversations teaches the ingenious rules of improv comedy that allow performers to turn boring prompts into memorable interactions worthy of standing ovations. This means there are real frameworks and templates to escape interview mode small talk – and start connecting and building rapport from the moment you say “Hello.” This book goes through over 15 of the most helpful and insightful improv comedy techniques with countless real-life examples to make you a great talker.Learn the conversational secrets of the world’s best comedians.Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real life experience.Over 15 actionable tips that are actually practical and relateable.•The three easy ways to always know what to say, even when your mind goes blank.•What Sherlock Holmes has to do with great rapport.•How to read people better and what to look for.•The one goal you must always keep in mind (that you probably don’t even know).Adapt, witty comeback, reply, and charm in record time.•What causes awkward silences and how to prevent them.•How your conversation should resemble a movie.•How to “flip the switch” to be more entertaining.Conversation skills are the gatekeeper to the rest of your life.Improving your conversations gives you the ability to turn a random encounter into a flowing conversation, into a lasting friendship. Fewer acquaintances and more friends, less small talk and more true substance.•Better networking, better career placement, better job interviews.•New friendships, improved relationships, and being more attractive to the opposite sex.•Instant likability and great first impressions." https://www.audible.com/pd/B08TK96H1S/?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWU-BK-ACX0-235620&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_235620_pd_us#Charismatic #Conversation #ImprovComedyTechniques #WittyBanter #RussellNewton #NewtonMGCharismatic,Conversation,Improv Comedy Techniques,Witty Banter,Russell Newton,NewtonMG

Conversation Skills Training: How to Build Relationships, Navigate Any Situation, and Talk to Anyone By: Patrick KingHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3U8eoc5https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CNPHL9PC You are missing out on so many relationships in your life.Communication is the bedrock of our relationships. But we often don’t know how to express ourselves, or truly hear others. Make sure that you are not letting amazing people pass you by.Increase your social and emotional awareness.Conversations Skills Training is truly about arming you with the tools you need for effective expression, listening, and relationships. Communication is the primary contributor to the relationships we attract in our lives, and this book takes you through almost every aspect of successful connection.Imagine being able to walk into a room and make friends with strangers, avoid conflict, and have a charismatic presence. It’s not so tough, it just needs purposeful practice. This book will be your best field guide to knowing how to deal with people, their emotions, and your own emotions.Get ahead in your career – because conversations skills gets promotions, not technical skills.Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real-life experience.The keys to preventing and dealing with conflict or other uncomfortable situations. Identify your communication style, and why it might be holding you back Exactly how much eye contact to use for emotional connection One acronym to substantially improve your conversations How to “hear” people’s emotions and make people trust you Defusing conflict and tough situations How to say no and assert yourself to anyone An ancient Greek persuasion technique that works in any situationRead people like a book – their emotions, feelings, and thoughts!#AggressiveCommunicator #AngeloStrenta #AssertiveCommunicator #BadCommunicationHabits #BodyOrientation #CommunicationStyle #ConversationSkillsTraining #Defensiveness #DrArthurAron #FillerWords #FourPs #JohnGrinder #KaraRonins #ManipulativeCommunicator #MichaelEllsberg #Microexpressions #Mirroring #NeuroLinguisticProgrammingNLP #Paralinguistics #PassiveAggressiveCommunicator #PassiveCommunicator #RichardBandler #RobertKleck #SocialInteraction #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ConversationSkillsTraining #TheBasicsAreNotSoBasic

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homeHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI00:08:18 Preconceived Attitudes00:17:48 Judgment and Premature Evaluation.•••••••••••#Conversation #ConversationSkillsTraining #Training #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ConversationSkillsTraining #IdentifyYourCommunicationStyle

Take Rapid Action: Get Productive, Motivated, & Energized; Stop Overthinking & Procrastinating By Patrick King00:04:28 Follow the Ostrich’s Lead00:09:41 The Premortem Analysis00:15:56 The Don’t-Do List00:31:04 Err on the Side of Action00:32:19 Get a Little Uncomfortable00:39:04 Tiny Steps00:45:25 The 40-70 Rule 00:50:14 Beat IndecisionHear it Here - https://bit.ly/takerapidactionkinghttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B082YZ95LVPractical, psychological methods to turn your thoughts into reality, instead of endless avoidance and laziness.Transform from struggling with getting off your butt, to a machine of productivity and self-discipline. Create an action bias in your life -- starting now.How to break inertia, overthinking, paralysis, sloth, and insecurity.Take Rapid Action deconstructs the psychology of laziness and why tomorrow always sounds like a better idea. This book is many things at once: a shot of motivation, a spark of fire, an understanding of your brain, and a list of techniques to get into motion. This is one of the most valuable skills you’ll ever gain, because only action matters in life, not good intentions.Gain the ability to get things done and hit your goals, no matter the circumstances.Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real life experience.Stop saying “I’ll do it later/tomorrow…” and overhaul your mindset for productivity and efficiency.•The Premortem Analysis and the Ostrich Theory -- how they can quiet your overthinking.•How comfortable inaction is sabotaging you.•Actionable and applicable rules to get started before you feel 100% ready.How to create motion and take the first step from complete stillness.•How to defeat procrastination by “bundling.”•Strategically plan your days to prevent laziness and distraction.•What you think is action, but is actually a waste of timeBecome a machine of proactive energy and activity.Action and results are the only things that matter in the world. Not your planning, intentions, or nice thoughts. This book puts action at the forefront of your brain and makes it nearly impossible to stay still. That’s precisely what will get you ahead in life. Taking that first step is always hard, but it doesn’t have to be.The more action you take, the luckier you become. Take that first step by scrolling up and clicking the BUY NOW BUTTON at the top right of this page!This is the sixth book in the “Clear Thinking and Fast Action” series as listed below:1. The Science of Getting Started: How to Beat Procrastination, Summon Productivity, and Stop Self-Sabotage2. The Art of Clear Thinking: Mental Models for Better Reasoning, Judgment, Analysis, and Learning. Upgrade Your Intellectual Toolkit.3. 10-Minute Philosophy: From Buddhism to Stoicism, Confucius and Aristotle - Bite-Sized Wisdom From Some of History’s Greatest Thinkers4. Practical Intelligence: How to Think Critically, Deconstruct Situations, Analyze Deeply, and Never Be Fooled5. Learn To Think Using Thought Experiments: How to Expand Your Mental Horizons, Understand Metacognition, Improve Your Curiosity, and Think Like a Philosopher6. Take Rapid Action: Get Productive, Motivated, & Energized; Stop Overthinking & Procrastinating7. Relentless Focus: 27 Small Tweaks to Beat Procrastination, Skyrocket Productivity, Outsmart Distractions, & Do More in Less Time#DontDoList #DrRobertLeahy #GaryKlein #Leahy #OstrichTheory #Overthinking #Plutarch #PremortemAnalysis #TakeRapidAction #Uncertainty #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TakeRapidAction #StopOverthinking

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:03:25 Why Stories Matter00:05:23 Four Elements of a Good Story00:09:28 Be Natural ... But Have a Plan00:17:16 USING WITTY BANTER IN BUILDING RAPPORT00:22:35 Technique 2: Use the Element of Surprise00:24:03 Technique 3: Sarcasm 00:26:25 Technique 4: Being Self-Referential00:28:15 Banter WarningsHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI• Though the real foundations of a good conversation are humility, curiosity, and open-mindedness, it’s still worth learning how to tell engaging and entertaining stories. Storytelling is human, and anyone can be a good storyteller. But a story’s value is in how it’s perceived by the audience.• The best stories have an attention-grabbing hook; they’re short, precise, and have a relevant emotional core. In conversation, a story is meant to create connection and rapport, not showcase you as interesting. Prepare somewhat by building a story “library” beforehand, then use natural transition phrases such as “You know, that reminds me of . . .”to introduce the story. Remember that telling a story is still a kind of conversation.• Witty banter is playful, clever, amusing conversation that speeds up rapport and builds closeness very rapidly. Anyone can learn to banter as long as they follow the rules: start small and build, banter WITH someone, not AT them, and a little goes a long way.• Self-deprecating or self-referential humor helps you drop your ego and shows strength and maturity, putting people at ease. Be brief and very obviously exaggerate something you’re actually comfortable with. Be unexpected and use the element of surprise to grab attention and create spark and spontaneity. Flaunt conversational norms with playful sarcasm. The focus is always on building rapport, not on entertaining or impressing people.#AndyRichter #Banter #Sarcasm #ScottYoung #SelfDeprecatingHumor #Selfdeprecation #Selfreferential #WITTYBANTERINBUILDINGRAPPORT #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MakeFriendsEasily #TurningOnTheCharm

How To Say No: Stand Your Ground, Assert Yourself, and Make Yourself Be Seen (Without Guilt or Awkwardness) (Be Confident and Fearless Book 7)By: Patrick King 00:02:05 Why Saying No is So Essential00:10:26 Why We Struggle to Say No00:20:53 The Psychological Root of Never Saying No: Codependency00:36:51 Getting Rid of Counter-Mindsets00:44:54 Change Strategies for Counter-Mindsets00:46:19 Rewriting the Script that Saying No Makes You a Bad Person00:55:31 Rewriting the Script that Saying No Means You Don’t CareHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3vU090qhttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B0918PNTZVFinally get what you deserve and stop “letting it slide” - without guilt, fear, or awkward tension.Saying no - just thinking about it sounds awkward, right? But that’s the barrier between you living your own life, and living for others. Get what you want, starting immediately.Stop sacrificing your own needs. Quit the agreeableness and accommodation habit.How to Say No examines the psychology of those unable to stand up for themselves. It’s not as simple as wanting to avoid awkwardness, and it’s not about the correct sequence of words. You’l dive deep and learn about your beliefs that are holding you back, as well as how to conquer them in short time.Saying no is the most liberating thing you can do for yourself, and this book tells you how to get there from inside to out.Swift tactics to gain respect, set boundaries, and ask for what you really want.Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real life experience.How to decisively say NO and stop being taken advantage of.•The counter mindsets you must change, and the mindsets you must replace them with•A multitude of categories for how to asset yourself•The easiest and least tense ways to simply say NO•An examination of your beliefs surrounding acceptance, love, and self-worth•Boundaries and how to ruthlessly enforce themStop putting others first and start treating yourself better.Who are you living your life for? Do you feel like you are exhausted by the time you can finally pay attention to your own needs?Do you finally wish that you could free yourself from self-imposed burdens and put yourself first? Learning how to say no and assert yourself is the most amazing tool that no one ever taught us. Start changing your life today. #Burnout #Codependency #Codependent #Countermindsets #FOMO #Overcommitting #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #HowToSayNo #TheImportanceOfSayingNo #PatrickKing

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homeHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI00:01:53 Dr. David Rock created the SCARF model00:05:34 Assertive Communication 00:09:17 What Makes Assertive Communicators Different 00:10:45 Ten Essential Assertive Communication Habits00:22:06 Bonus: The Broken Record Technique00:23:47 Give and Take: The Art of Feedback00:27:02 The Situation-Behavior-Impact (SBI) model00:30:50 The Best Way to Receive Feedback • Regulate your own emotions by being aware of the underlying needs they express: status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness, and fairness. • Be assertive and communicate your needs, limits, and perspective with clarity and kindness. Be clear, calm, firm, open, in control, and respectful. Decide on the type of assertion that best fits your needs: basic, empathic, consequence, discrepancy, or negative feelings assertion. • When it comes to giving or receiving feedback, remember that it is about behaviors and actions and not about people. Be kind, but also don’t take things too personally. #Assertive #AssertiveCommunication #BrokenRecordTechnique #DrDavidRock #Effective #EmotionalIntelligence #Feedback #SBI #SCARF #ThomasKilmann #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoSpeakEffectively #RegulatingYourOwnEmotions

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:02:20 Identify Your Communication Style00:04:20 The Passive Communicator00:07:57 The Aggressive Communicator00:11:15 The Passive-Aggressive Communicator00:19:19 The Assertive CommunicatorHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI• The best mindset to adopt in order to become a better communicator is the one that will best allow you to connect, meet your needs, solve problems, and express yourself. • Begin by asking yourself what your default communication style is: aggressive, passive-aggressive, or manipulative. None of these styles actually achieves the ultimate goal of communication, however. • The way you communicate is a choice. Assertive communication is the ability to express needs, wants, thoughts, and feelings directly without disrespecting or controlling others. Mature conversationalists are self-controlled, balanced, relaxed, open, and respectful.• Communicating well is simple and easy, but we need to remove the formidable psychological barriers that stand in the way. With awareness, we can remove them and improve our communication skills.#AggressiveCommunicator #AssertiveCommunicator #CommunicationStyle #ConversationSkillsTraining #ManipulativeCommunicator #PassiveAggressiveCommunicator #PassiveCommunicator #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ConversationSkillsTraining #TheBasicsAreNotSoBasic

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:02:46 Psychologist Shelly Gable coined the term “active and constructive responding”00:12:42 A truly active and constructive responseHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI• Your response to someone’s good news can vary, being passive or active, constructive or destructive. Aim for active, constructive responses that acknowledge and reflect the emotion and energy in a speaker’s message. • Give compliments—but keep them rare, sincere, specific, and appropriate.• Avoid giving advice. Problem-solving is best achieved by helping people discover what they themselves think, rather than telling them.#Compliment #Constructive #Destructive #Gable #PerfectCompliment #Problemsolving #PsychologistShellyGable #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MakeFriendsEasily #ACTIVEANDCONSTRUCTIVERESPONDING

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homeHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI00:01:18 In an article published in the Journal of Managerial Sciences in 200900:01:48 The Different Types of Conflict00:02:02 Not all conflict is the same—take a look at some variants: Affective Conflict 00:02:23 Substantive Conflict 00:02:45 Conflict of Interest 00:03:02 Retributive Conflict 00:03:19 Conflict in Values 00:03:33 Goal Conflict 00:03:39 Displaced Conflict00:04:29 The Thomas Kilmann Model 00:05:34 1. Competing 00:06:22 2. Avoiding 00:07:17 3. Accommodating 00:08:01 4. Collaboration 00:08:48 5. Compromising 00:09:36 VOMP 00:09:58 Ventilation 00:10:48 Ownership 00:11:53 Moccasins 00:12:20 Plan 00:14:24 Uh Oh—We Talked and There’s Still Conflict00:15:21 How to Master High-Stakes Discussions and Stabilize Intense Emotions00:19:17 How to Navigate a Crucial Conversation • Conflict is inevitable whenever people differ, but it can be managed with grace and tact. Try to understand the type of conflict: affective, substantive, conflict of interest, retributive, conflict in values, goal conflict, or displaced conflict from somewhere else. • According to the Thomas Kilmann model, people come into conflict simply because they have different ideas, values, motivations, or wants. There are five conflict-resolution strategies according to degree of empathy and assertiveness: competing, avoiding, accommodating, collaborating, and compromising. Each has pros and cons and is best used in specific circumstances. Compromising (medium assertiveness and medium empathy) is usually a good bet all around.#Affective #Collaboration #Compromising #Conflict #CrosbyKerrMinnoConsulting #DisplacedConflict #Emotion #Empathy #GoalConflict #Kilmann #ProfessorAbdulGhaffar #QurtubaUniversity #RalphKilmann #RetributiveConflict #ThomasKilmann #Ventilation #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoSpeakEffectively #WhenItAllGoesWrong:EffectiveConflictResolutionPatrickKing

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:03:22 The Perfect Apology00:04:41 A Mistake Can Be a Good Thing!00:07:37 1. Express your genuine regret00:09:50 2. Explain what happened 00:11:20 3. Take responsibility 00:12:24 4. Repent!00:13:58 5. Offer to make amends00:15:14 6. Ask for forgivenessHear it Here - adbl.co/3OJ4V72• Conflict will happen, but what matters is how people respond to their mistakes. A perfect apology can actually strengthen a relationship if it consists of these six parts: expression of regret, explanation of what went wrong (without excuses or blame), taking responsibility, repentance, offering reparations, and a request for forgiveness, in order of importance. • Good apologies are sincere and match the severity of the offense. Apologize quickly and remember that you are never owed an apology. #Apologize #EQ #Lewicki #PerfectApology #Repent #Repentance #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofE.Q. #Needs #Limits #Requests #Refusals...It’SAConstantNegotiation

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:01:48 Karen Huang and colleagues00:05:35 Chunking Up and Down00:18:15 When to Chunk Up00:19:13 When to Chunk DownHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI• Research suggests that talking about yourself makes you a little less likeable, while asking questions makes you a little more likeable. Open-ended and follow-up questions especially showed the greatest relationship to likability. People like those they believe are genuinely hearing them, seeing them, and reacting to them.• Questions that chunk up or down allow you to vary the degree of detail at which you present or request information. Both approaches have their uses, but it’s about balance, variety, and aligning with the other person. Become curious about where a current conversation is and whether it might need more chunking up or chunking down.#Chartrand #Chunking #ChunkingUp #GeorgeAMiller #KarenHuang #Lacan #Lacanian #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MakeFriendsEasily #Question-Asking

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:00:48 Judi Brownell from Cornell University 00:01:07 Here are the components of Brownell’s model: H: Hearing 00:03:01 U: Understanding 00:05:01 R: Remembering 00:06:48 I: Interpreting 00:08:33 E: Evaluating 00:10:57 R: Responding 00:15:29 Don’t Be a Conversational Narcissist!00:17:52 Reframe the Way You Understand the Purpose of Conversation 00:18:52 Don’t Jump Ahead 00:20:04 Avoid Advice 00:21:12 Stop Centering Yourself 00:23:06 Watch Out for Passive Conversational Narcissism, too00:23:56 What If They’re the Conversational Narcissist?00:26:37 The HURIER method asks us to Hear, Understand, Remember, Interpret, Evaluate, and Respond, in that order.00:26:53 Avoid being a conversational narcissist, who is someone who uses conversation to gain attention for themselves, rather than connect with others, share, or learn.Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI• Good listening is a collection of different skills: hearing, understanding, interpreting, and responding. The HURIER method asks us to Hear, Understand, Remember, Interpret, Evaluate, and Respond, in that order. Remember that listening is active and includes both verbal and nonverbal material.• Avoid being a conversational narcissist, who is someone who uses conversation to gain attention for themselves, rather than connect with others, share, or learn. Reframe the way you understand the purpose of conversation and understand that it’s not about you or your ego. Avoid giving advice, interrupting (or thinking about what you want to say), or centering yourself in the dialogue. Similarly, don’t be afraid to disengage when you encounter a conversational narcissist.#AvoidAdvice #Brownell #CharlesDerber #ConversationalNarcissist #CornellUniversity #Derber #DontJumpAhead #HURIER #Narcissist #PassiveConversationalNarcissism #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoSpeakEffectively #TheHURIERMethod

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:01:43 How to Create Healthy Boundaries00:03:29 How to Set Boundaries00:14:24 Use DEARMAN for Polite Requests and RefusalsHear it Here - adbl.co/3OJ4V72• Human beings are complex, and not all problems and conflicts can be solved by simply heaping on more and more empathy and understanding. Emotional intelligence means having boundaries that are not too permeable or too rigid. • Take the time to understand who you are, what you want, and what is unacceptable to you, then take responsibility for communicating that message clearly and directly to others. Whatever type of boundary you are setting a limit for (time, money, emotional energy, etc.), make sure that you are willing to follow through, and not use boundaries to passively control or manipulate others.• The DEARMAN acronym can help you make requests and refusals while staying polite. It stands for describe, express, assert, reinforce, mindfulness, appear confident, and negotiate. Emotionally mature and intelligent people take responsibility for how they navigate social spaces, and know that their needs and limits are always changing and under constant renegotiation. Real life is messy sometimes; be flexible and open to accommodation.#AppearConfident #Ask #Assert #Asserting #Boundary #Communicate #Confident #Conversational #DBT #DEARMAN #Decide #EmotionWheel #EQ #HealthyBoundaries #Mindfulness #Negotiate #Relationship #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofE.Q. #OwnYourLimitsWithHealthyBoundaries

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homeHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI00:00:34 Part one of the Friendship Mindset is the Art of Active Listening.00:06:12 Pay Close Attention00:09:17 Be Mindful of the Little Things00:10:52 Help People Think Out Loud00:16:03 Restate00:17:16 Summarize00:18:10 Reframe• Give the gift of solid, respectful attention at all times. Listen generously, as though you are prepared to hear the value, the sense, and the meaning in everything you hear. Don’t let your desire to seem like a good listener get in the way of actually being one. Let people know you are listening with small verbal and nonverbal gestures.• Try not to let your own perspective impair your ability to understand somebody else’s. Start from a position of ignorance and work your way up to real understanding, rather than making assumptions about what other people’s experiences mean. • To be a good listener, practice restating what you are told, paraphrase that content in your own words, summarize what you’re hearing in a useful way (or else condense things by labeling the core emotion), then potentially reframe the story or gently suggest something new if this might help solve a problem or create an emotional resolution. Do this without assumptions, biases, or interpretations, but with a mind to truly understand the other person’s point of view. #BeMindful #Concentrate #GoodListener #Listening #Mindful #Paraphrase #PayCloseAttention #Reframe #Restate #Summarize #Paraphrase #Summarizing #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MakeFriendsEasily #TheFriendshipMindset #THEARTOFACTIVELISTENING #PatrickKing

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:06:04 How to Use Funnel Questions00:08:26 Here's a summary of How To Ask Funnel Questions00:11:50 How You Structure a Question Matters00:15:14 Rhetorical Questions00:16:09 To conclude, here are a few Tips For Using Questions00:17:03 How to Be a Truly Effective ListenerHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI• One of the easiest ways to connect with another person is to just ask questions. The right questions help you gather more and better-quality information, build stronger connections with others, inspire trust and liking, learn, and help other people learn, too. • Closed questions (those that have very short or one-word answers) can be used to confirm your understanding, make conclusions or summaries, or set the tone and scope of a more formal or structured conversation. However, they can kill a conversation and make it feel interrogatory. • Open questions (any possible answer) allow you to probe for depth and can keep a conversation lively and open-ended. Use both in the “funnel question” technique, which probes for information down a narrowing path of increasing detail, starting broad and progressively becoming more specific. Start with open questions, then drill down for more detail as you go, eventually reversing the funnel if necessary.#FunnelQuestions #Openended #Probing #Question #Rhetorical #EffectiveListener #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoSpeakEffectively #Communication’sMostUnderratedSkill

The Power of E.Q.: Social Intelligence, Reading People, and How to Navigate Any Situation By: Patrick KingHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3OJ4V72https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C3CC2RM3Your success in life will depend on how good you are with people. Sorry, that's the harsh truth.But the good news is that this is a trainable skill - and this book is an amazing start.Make a smashing first impression and make people crave your presence.The Power of E.Q. is as practical as a book can be. You will get techniques to use immediately on the people around you, and you will suddenly realize how much you have been missing! You will gain a deep understanding of emotional intelligence and the small signs behind what people are thinking and feeling. Imagine how much more easily you could make friends or befriend business partners if you could analyze them better.Read and analyze people with such stunning accuracy that they will be shocked.Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real-life experience.Find the shortcuts to connecting with people in record time. conversational intelligence and how to empathize in 4 steps how to step outside of your own perspective and read the emotions of others cold reading and being an expert at finding "clues" about people understanding emotions and how to label yourself and others how high-quality questions will make you seem like a mind reader#DrDurvasula #PatrickKing #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofE.Q. #HandlingBigEgos—IncludingYourOwn #

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:02:26 Anatomy of a Good Question00:04:10 A Good Quality Question Is Open-Ended.00:06:11 High-Quality Questions Actively Follow Up.00:08:23 High-Quality Questions Use Paraphrasing.00:09:37 High-Quality Questions Are Balanced With Self-Revelation.00:10:37 Questions You Should Never Ask00:17:53 Chapter SummaryHear it Here - adbl.co/3OJ4V72• High-quality questions are targeted, focused on understanding and not judgment, open-ended, and tend to paraphrase and connect to what has already been said. Balance questions with your own self-revelation. Remember what people say and follow up with thoughtful questions that show that you’ve truly heard and processed the message.• Certain questions should always be avoided: those concerning jobs, salaries, financial costs, choices around children, relationship status, weight, diet choices, or physical appearance. #HighQualityQuestions #SelfRevelation #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofE.Q. #AnatomyOfAGoodQuestion

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:08:57 How to Build Curiosity00:13:49 Assume Nothing 00:16:40 Person, Not Story 00:19:15 You Go First Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI• Maintain reciprocal curiosity and the mindset that you can always learn something new from others. Be fully present, open-minded, and receptive rather than approaching with bias, judgment, or distraction. Instead of trying to convince others how fascinating you are, find what is fascinating about others. Conversations are co-creations!• Genuinely connect to others by listening deeply, focusing on the person and not their story, and never making judgments or assumptions. Listen to understand, not to respond; listen primarily for emotion, not just fact. One way you can show that you’re willing to really listen to people is self-disclosure.#Conflict #Conversation #Curiosity #Listen #ListenDeeply #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MakeFriendsEasily #ReciprocalCuriosity

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homeHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI00:02:31 How to Paint the Picture00:02:59 To get a hang of using imagery in conversation, you need to master the use of three tools: 1. Concreteness 2. Simile 3. Metaphor Concreteness is about being embedded in the world, about being real.00:08:02 Rhythm and How to Go with the Flow00:09:28 Parallelism 00:11:42 Repetition 00:12:39 Think about Winston Churchill’s famous “we shall fight them on the beaches” speech00:13:58 Alliteration and Assonance00:15:33 How to Be a Masterful Storyteller • If you want your listeners to really absorb what you say to them, paint them a mental picture. Do this by using vivid and concrete imagery, similes (using like or as), and metaphors to connect abstract ideas with more real-world ones. Use adjectives and interesting details and be a little unexpected. • Language is musical by nature, and much of the meaning it conveys comes down to its rate, its articulation, its flow, and the way it moves through time. Pay attention to the rhythm and flow of your speech. • In parallelism, we repeat certain structures to create an effect. Repetition drives our point home and makes it seem more true, as do alliteration (repetition of initial consonant sounds) and assonance (repetition of internal or vowel sounds). • Human beings react not just to “information” but to narrative; to be a good storyteller, you need to go beyond sharing information and facts, and help your listeners form an emotional connection to what you’re saying. Good stories enlist the use of our voice, body language, gestures, facial expressions, and even visual aids. • Make sure that your story illustrates supports or connects to your larger point or circumstance. Set the scene but don’t dawdle on unnecessary detail. Start with a bang and keep things at a moderate pace, being concise. Be relevant and interesting, and if you can, practice your story ahead of time!#Alliteration #Assonance #Brevity #ChipsChannon #Concreteness #Metaphor #Parallelism #Repetition #Rhythm #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoSpeakEffectively #MasteringStyleandTone

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:02:26 The Emotions Wheel and Learning to Label00:04:47 Different versions of the Emotion Wheel00:07:39 1. Anger00:08:46 6. Disgust 00:09:53 7. Fear 00:10:53 8. Happy 00:12:26 9. Sadness00:13:37 10. Surprise00:14:45 11. Bad00:21:36 Step 1: Put a name to the emotion (the Emotion Wheel can help).00:29:31 What Invalidation Looks LikeHear it Here - adbl.co/3OJ4V72• Becoming more emotionally intelligent requires understanding of what emotions are, how to read them, how to feel and label our own experiences, and how to validate them in the people around us. We need to develop empathy, social skills, self-awareness, and self-control.• There are universal basic human emotions, but they express themselves in varying degree, variety, and intensity. A tool like the Emotion Wheel can help you build emotional literacy and pinpoint precise feelings and emotions. Primary emotions include anger, fear, disgust, happiness, surprise, and just plain “bad.” If you become an expert at knowing exactly how you feel, however, you are never in the position of misunderstanding yourself and will be a more effective and coherent person as a result.• The more emotionally literate we become with our own experiences, the better we can recognize them in others. Pay attention, listen, and then (tentatively) call out the emotion you think someone is experiencing. Verbalize the emotion by putting a name to it, and without judgment or interpretation, validate their experience. Remember that you’re not validating the factual content of what they’re saying, but the emotional content.#EmotionalValidation #EmotionWheel #EQ #Invalidation #DanielGoleman #Validate #Validating #Validation #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofE.Q.

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:01:54 Bestselling author and self-help guru Tim Ferriss 00:04:20 Be Very Aware of Personal Space00:06:42 Stay Present00:09:07 In a now famous 1977 interview Barbara Walters did with Dolly PartonHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI• To create a reality distortion field, you will need to increase eye contact, be aware of your personal space, and stay present and open-minded in conversations. Charismatic, confident people are physically present, without being imposing or threatening, and their eye contact is natural. They do not let judgment, anxiety, or distraction undermine their presence in the moment. The key is to acknowledge people and make them feel important. • The biggest impact you make on people does not come from what you say, but from how you are.#BarbaraWalters #BeVeryAware #BillClinton #Charismatic #DollyParton #EyeContact #Ferriss #PersonalSpace #Charismatic #StayPresent #TimFerriss #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MakeFriendsEasily/home/russell/Charismatic-confident-people-physically-imposing-threatening-eye-contact-natural/1-man-and-woman-near-sea-2833389-Emma-Bauso.jpg

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homeHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI00:03:51 Get Comfortable with Pausing 00:09:20 The Dangers of “Hedging Language”00:14:35 Upspeak and the Mystery of Tone00:19:37 The Five Types of Communication Tone00:20:55 Type 1: Informative 00:21:20 Type 2: Humorous 00:21:40 Type 3: Respectful 00:22:08 Type 4: Formal 00:22:28 Type 5: Informal 00:31:36 Transitioning to a New Point 00:32:34 Providing More Details on One Point00:33:17 Linking Similar Points Together#CommunicationTone #Conversational #DrKamiAnderson #HedgingLanguage #JamesGorman #Signpost #Signposting #Summarizing #Upspeak #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #EliminateCrutchWordsAndEmptyLanguage #PatrickKing #HowtoSpeakEffectively

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:02:24 Similarly, so called Barnum statements, named after famed showman and Hoaxbuster P t.00:05:56 Avoid Emotional Disconnectors and Word Trash00:13:47 Elizabeth Stoke is a professor of social interaction at Lowborough University00:16:13 Researchers at Amsterdam's Vu University 00:16:24 Lead researcher Camille Buickenboom 00:18:41 Jacob Hirsch and Jordan Peterson from the University of Toronto00:19:12 Social psychologist James W. Pennebaker and his colleagues00:29:14 Summary Hear it Here - adbl.co/3OJ4V72• Use the principles of cold reading to create quick rapport and “read” nonverbal expressions to gain insight into their personalities. Observe, redirect their attention, collaborate with them, and gather information during back-and-forth conversation. Pay close attention to the details and make constantly updated predictions, maintaining warmth while you redirect from incorrect guesses.• Finally, avoid emotional disconnect caused by “trash words” such as “just,” “honestly,” “amazing,” “slay it,” or “should.”• Listen to how somebody speaks and uses language to gain insight into their mental models of the world. Notice the focus of their speech, their pronoun use, their positioning of subject and object, and how they explain neutral events. Always be curious about what this expression tells you about the person’s perspective, beliefs, worldview, and focus.#AvoidEmotionalDisconnectors #Barnum #Beukeboom #BigFive #CamielBeukeboom #ElizabethStokoe #EllenLeanse #EQ #HowWordChoiceRevealsCharacter #JacobHirsh #JamesWPennebaker #JordanPeterson #Kufner #LinguisticInquiry #LoughboroughUniversity #Nonverbal #Openmindedness #Pennebaker #PTBarnum #Shotgunning #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofE.Q.

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:00:35 The Friendship Formula is a simple framework for building and maintaining strong friendships.00:07:04 The Friendship Formula 00:09:13 Dr. Jack Schaefer, former FBI agent and author of The Like Switch, has a theory that might have the answer.00:19:04 How to Use Schaefer's formula to Your BenefitHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI • Dr. Jack Schafer’s “friendship formula” is as follows: Friendship = Proximity + Frequency + Duration + Intensity. Friendship will develop according to the sum of all these four elements. That means that one element can be relatively weak if another compensates by being extra strong. • Building friendships is about fostering increasing closeness—i.e., proximity. Greater frequency also means a stronger chance of friendship developing. The more frequently you engage with someone, the more they feel like part of your world. Friendship takes time to build, so greater duration of time spent together means greater chance of friendship. Finally, it matters how well you’re able to satisfy another person’s needs during any social interaction. The more you can, the better the chance of striking up a friendship. • When making friends, deliberately find ways to increase proximity and the duration, frequency, and intensity of your interactions with people, in that order. Go slow!#ACTION #CignaLonelinessReport #CityIndexSurvey #DrJackSchafer #DrSchafer #FRIENDSHIPFORMULA #LonelinessProject #Schafer #SchafersFormula #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MakeFriendsEasily

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:01:10 In 1974, business professor Chris Argyris created a handy tool00:06:22 How to Use the Ladder in Your Own Life00:16:02 Consider the following speech made by Barack Obama at the 2004 Democratic National Convention00:18:23 George Lakoff is an author and professor of cognitive science and linguistics.Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI • Poor communication arises as a result of a mismatch of perspectives, approach, or conversational skill. People process information differently, but to avoid misunderstandings, communicate consciously and use the “ladder of inference.” It shows the unique way that people use their experiences to make meaning: observations > selected data > meanings > assumptions > conclusions > beliefs > actions. • Conflict can occur when people are on different rungs. To improve communication, see where people are and how their ladder of inference is working for them, then speak to that, in sequence, and without blame or shame. • Good communicators deliberately create their own frames during conversations and position their line of thinking by using specially chosen words, expressions, and images. Change frames and you change meaning. • Deliberately engineer your conversational frame and invite the other person in using pre-existing concepts they’re familiar with to improve the chances they’ll be receptive. Remember that reality is fixed, but the meaning of reality is dynamic and subject to change. #ACTIONS #Argyris #ASSUMPTIONS #BELIEFS #Birkin #ChrisArgyris #CONCLUSIONS #GeorgeLakoff #Hermes #MEANING #POOLOFOBSERVATIONS #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #SocialSkillsCoaching #PatrickKindConsulting #PatrickKing #HowToSpeakEffectively

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:02:54 Author Nick Morgan describes in his book Power Cues 00:08:34 How to Master Nonverbal Communication00:12:08 Body Language Basics00:14:37 Look for Clusters of Behavior 00:15:26 Don’t Be Afraid to Trust Your Instincts00:16:16 What to Look At00:18:50 The Art of Cold Reading00:19:50 Four Important Cold Reading Principles00:21:36 Redirection00:22:32 Collaboration00:23:19 ConversationHear it Here - adbl.co/3OJ4V72• Be mindful of your meta-language and make sure that your verbal and nonverbal signals are aligned. Nonverbal communication can repeat, substitute, complement, or accent our verbal communication. If it doesn’t, we risk sending mixed messages or lowering trust. Pay attention to messages sent using facial expressions, body posture, gestures, eye contact, touch, use of space, and voice characteristics. • To build mindful awareness of your nonverbal communication, try to eliminate in-the-moment stress (by breathing, pausing, and connecting with your five senses) and cultivate emotional awareness (including the ability to tolerate and accept emotions as they are). • When reading body language, think holistically, dynamically, relatively, and in context. Don’t rely on single data points, but look for clusters of behavior, inconsistencies with context, and a shift from baseline. #AuthorNickMorgan #BodyLanguageBasics #Clusters #ColdReading #Collaboration #Communication #EQ #FourImportantColdReadingPrinciples #MasterNonverbalCommunication #Morgan #Observation #Posture #Redirection #Stress #Substitution #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofE.Q.

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:03:54 Use a Journal and Be Your Own Therapist00:06:50 How to Use AffirmationsHear it Here - adbl.co/3To6NDu• A journal is a powerful self-help tool that slows your thoughts, keeps track of your progress, and helps you uncover patterns as well as develop your values and goals. Use writing prompts to guide self-exploration without judgment.• Recurrent themes will emerge over time, and these can be inverted to create your own affirmations. These become like useful shortcuts to guide and shape your journey to healthier boundaries, better communication, and stronger self-identity.#Affirmations #Journal #Journaling #Meditate #Peoplepleasing #Relationship #SetBoundaries #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourself #SetBoundaries #StopPleasingOthers

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homeHear it Here - adbl.co/3OJ4V72• Empathy is the ability to share someone else’s feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person’s situation, and being able to occupy their perceptual position/perspective. In NLP’s “perceptual positions” exercise, first position is your own point of view, second position is another person’s, and third position concerns the view of you both from a third, neutral observer perspective. • By switching between these positions, you gain more insight, understanding, and empathy, and find solutions to problems. No position is best, but wisdom comes from being able to skillfully shift between all three. • Perspective-taking is an act of social imagination where you temporarily set aside your own frame of reference and entertain another, possibly very different one. Self-awareness and awareness of others means we can develop theory of mind and a certain mental flexibility.• Build this capacity by looking at pictures of people and trying the “step inside” activity, the “step in, step out, and step back” activity, or the “context” exercise. These will help you strengthen your ability to consider the world through other people’s eyes. • One of the biggest obstacles to genuine empathy and emotional intelligence is ego—our own and others’. When dealing with people who are constantly self-referential, uninterested in things that don’t benefit them, lacking in personal accountability and empathy, and have a heightened opinion of themselves, try to avoid getting into a battle of the egos. Lower expectations, stay firm in your boundaries, and maintain distance. • Watch for narcissism in yourself, too: Don’t assume you’re immune to self-absorption, work on your self-esteem, and consciously mix with those who don’t always confirm your worldview. #DrDurvasula #DSM #Durvasula #Egotist #EgotisticalPeople #Empathy #Entitlement #EQ #Incivility #RamaniSDurvasula #Narcissism #NLP #Perspectivetaking #Ramani #StepInsideExercise #StepOutStepBackExercise #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofEQ

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:02:32 You’ll Know That Codependency Is Part Of Your Need To People-Please If:00:05:00 Make Yourself Your New Rescue Project00:08:42 Gradually Separate Yourself.00:09:23 Become Curious Where Your Bad Feelings Come From.00:10:54 Stop Making Excuses.00:12:30 Use A Journal to discover the roots of your behavior.Hear it Here - adbl.co/3To6NDu• People-pleasers can sometimes fall into codependent relationships, where one person is reliant on another, whether that’s physically, emotionally, mentally, or even spiritually. These toxic dynamics can only be broken when the person is able to re-prioritize themselves as their own “rescue project” and rewrite the core belief that they are only good people if they are needed. This requires understanding the roots of behavior and refusing to make excuses anymore.#Addiction #Codependency #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourself #SetBoundaries #&StopPleasingOthers

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:03:40 In Aristotle's time, Oration was an honored art and tradition00:04:00 Ethos00:06:26 Pathos00:12:25 Cairos 00:20:29 Workplace Communication Etiquette00:32:16 The Seven C's of Effective Workplace Communication00:38:16 SummaryHear it Here - https://bit.ly/3GAwNag• Persuasion is about trying to change or influence someone’s mind, and it rests on knowing what that person’s values, perspectives, and needs are so you can address them directly. • According to Aristotle, the four main modes of persuasion are ethos (appeal to authority), pathos (appeal to emotion), logos (appeal to reason), and kairos (making an argument at the right time and place). Good oration and rhetoric are not about which mode fits you or your message best, but knowing how to put your message in a form that the audience is most likely to hear.• To speak to pathos, be vulnerable or share a personal experience or even a secret. To speak to logos, use hard data and evidence or a deductive or inductive argument. To speak to ethos, share genuine and relevant credentials. In all cases, try to understand your audience’s emotional state, their perspective, and their most pressing need, then present your message in terms that will appeal to them most. • Workplace communication runs on all the same communication rules, but we have to consider the bigger role that written and electronic communication plays, too. Professional communication is more about appropriateness, politeness, custom, convention, and formality. • We need to consider the goal, content, and medium to the message, as well as the audience. First, clarify the reason for communication and let that decide the most appropriate medium. Factor in your company’s unique communication culture and be mindful of your tone. • Professional communication should follow the seven Cs: It should be clear, concise, correct, concrete, considerate, complete, and courteous.

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:06:44 As Stephen Covey says, seek first to understand, then to be understood.00:10:38 The Four Types of Empathic Responses00:16:15 What Do You Do When Things Go Right?00:28:54 Shift responses versus Support ResponsesHear it Here - adbl.co/3OJ4V72• Emotional intelligence is also something we do rather than something we are. Thankfully, it can be learned. • Empathic listening is total, genuine attention to the other person and the message they are trying to convey. Set aside your own ego and perspective and become genuinely curious about someone else’s world, listening to understand rather than to respond. Be curious and receptive rather than reactive, “listening” to verbal and nonverbal signals. • To respond empathically, acknowledge their courage, ask questions to clarify their message, convey that you care, and check in with how they’re feeling. • Offer responses that are both active and constructive, rather than passive and destructive, to create trust and connection. Remember that your response to someone’s positive expressions is a bigger determinant of the relationship quality than how you treat them when they’re unhappy. Show genuine interest in what you’re told and match and reflect people’s emotional experiences rather than invalidating it.• Practice offering support responses (which maintain the focus on the speaker) instead of shift responses (which shift the focus of the conversation back onto you) if you want to avoid conversational narcissism. Try not to continually center your own emotional experiences or interpret other people’s experiences through the lens of your own. Instead, see conversation as a genuine back and forth and deliberately set aside yourself to learn more about others. #ActiveConstructive #ActiveDestructive #CharlesDerber #ConstructiveResponding #EmpathicListening #GableGonzagaStrachman #PassiveConstructive #PassiveDestructive #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofE.Q.

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:01:42 Pleasing others becomes a transaction or a deal 00:02:44 Mindfulness Meditation for People-Pleasers 00:06:09 1. Sit somewhere comfortably, slow your breathing, and relax. 00:06:16 2. If worries, concerns, and anxious thoughts pop up, say hello to them but set them aside. 00:06:26 3. Focus calmly on your breathing 00:06:37 4. When distracting thoughts pop up again, set them aside again and come back to your breath.00:09:02 Loving-Kindness Meditation for People-PleasersHear it Here - adbl.co/3To6NDu• Kindness and compassion are wonderful if they are genuine. People-pleasers need to learn to develop the skill of genuine kindness rather than acting out of fear, obligation, or a sense of transaction. Mindfulness and loving-kindness practice are two ways to help rescue genuine compassion from the need to please.• Mindfulness meditation is about presence and being aware of the present moment without judgment or grasping. Go calm and quiet within, setting aside thoughts as they arrive and accepting what is without trying too hard to achieve any particular end.• Loving-kindness meditation practices generating warm, accepting, and loving attention and extending it to others as well as to yourself. Visualize kindness flowing to the people you love, then progressively to others, and finally to yourself. Compassion does not mean agreement or forgiveness, only that we can acknowledge that as human beings, we all have worth since we are part of what is.#Boundary #Compassion #Lovingkindness #LovingKindnessMeditation #Meditation #Mindfulness #MindfulnessMeditation #Peoplepleasers #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourself #SetBoundaries #StopPleasingOthers

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:02:29 The COIN Framework 00:03:59 In Carroll’s book, The Feedback Imperative: How to Give Feedback to Speed Up Your Team's Success00:16:56 How to Say No 00:26:48 Technique 1: The Agreement Frame 00:37:41 Technique 2: VOMP 00:42:13 Technique 3: Nonviolent Communication00:53:53 The Six-Step ApologyHear it Here - https://bit.ly/3GAwNag• The goal during conflict is to increase positive feelings for everyone involved. One way to do this is with Carroll’s COIN framework—context, observations, impact, and next (follow-up actions). Use plenty of “I” statements, pause often, and be as clear and direct as possible. When giving feedback, focus on what can be done in the future rather than what has already been done.• There are many ways to navigate communication when you disagree. The agreement frame helps the other person release their resistance to your perspective because you are able to really support their views or values first and seek common ground that puts you on the same team. • The art of saying no includes understanding the different kinds of assertions, including basic assertions (statements of facts and limits), empathic assertions (asserting needs and limits whilst acknowledging others’ with kindness), consequence assertions (following through with consequences of not respecting your boundary), discrepancy assertions (drawing attention to difference between what was agreed and what is happening), and negative feeling assertions (owning your own emotions and stating them).• VOMP is another technique and stands for voice/vent, own, moccasins, and plan. Say your piece and allow the other person to say theirs, own your part in the conflict, show empathy for their perspective, and then move forward with a concrete plan on how to act in the future. • Marshall Rosenberg’s nonviolent communication is about making neutral observations, expressing feelings with “I” statements, sharing needs, and making reasonable and respectful requests. • If none of these three techniques work, you can manage a difficult person by “fogging” (being as neutral and non-reactive as possible) or repeating boundaries like a “broken record” until they lose interest. • Finally, learn the six elements of a successful and genuine apology: express regret and remorse, explain yourself, accept full responsibility, repent, make an offer for reparations, and, only at the end, request forgiveness. Realize that you are not entitled to forgiveness, and accept whatever happens with grace.#AgreementFrame #AnnaCarroll #COINFramework #Communication #Lewicki #MarshallFritz #MarshallRosenberg #NVP #Ransberger #RansbergerPivot #RayRansberger #RoyLewicki #SixStepApology #VOMP #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:05:11 Step 1: Be Aware of What You Feel 00:09:47 Step 2: Normalize 00:11:52 Step 3: Tell the Truth Hear it Here - adbl.co/3To6NDu• When we engage in people-pleasing, we are trying to extract validation, approval, and liking from other people. However, self-validation is the ability to provide all these things for ourselves.• We create self-validation when we acknowledge and accept how we feel without judgment, normalize that feeling, then speak the truth about it.#Boundary #Normalize #Peoplepleasing #Selfvalidation #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourself #SetBoundaries #StopPleasingOthers

Easily listen to The Science of Self in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/ScienceOfSelfPodcasthttp://bit.ly/GeniusHollins• Lincoln’s genius traits included intellectual honesty, morality, non-conventionality, and soft skills such as empathy and communication.• Lincoln had little formal education and had an ordinary background, but was someone who possessed all the skills we associate with genius. He was most talented, perhaps, at working with the genius of others.• After he was elected president, Lincoln surprised everyone by appointing his “team of rivals” consisting of the men he had beaten in the election, and who often disagreed with him. But with this team, he was able to achieve the enormous accomplishments he is still known for today.• Like Darwin, Lincoln understood that success and learning come from challenge and the courage to consider alternate and conflicting viewpoints. Lincoln’s cabinet also allowed him to make use of people’s diverse talents.• Lincoln was also, unlike many in this book, a master at soft skills such as empathy, communication, and the ability to tap into a strong moral code of ethics to power his goals. • The five genius traits already covered are enhanced and transmitted more effectively when combined with these soft skills, as Lincoln demonstrates. Under his leadership, the Civil War ended with emancipation and the end of slavery, as well as a new and unified national spirit that defined the democratic principles of the country going forward. • To be like Lincoln, we need to know how to ask for help, to work with others, to engage our critics and competition strategically, and to take even our enemies as our best teachers. • Lincoln also teaches us the power of connecting not only with our own moral compass, but with other people via their values and principles, to become better communicators and more effective leaders.#AbrahamLincoln #AdamSmith #AmericanCivilWar #Confederacy #Darwin #Declaration #Descartes #DorisKearnsGoodwin #Edison #Einstein #Genius #Gettysburg #GettysburgAddress #IsaacNewton #Kentucky #Lincoln #Nonconventionality #PoliticalGenius #Socrates #SoldiersNationalCemetery #Tesla #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PeterHollins #TheScienceofSelf #ThinkLikeaGenius

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:01:12 Broadly speaking, there are three types of validation: 00:01:44 1. Emotional Validation 00:03:52 2. Behavioral Validation 00:05:49 3. Cognitive Validation 00:10:02 In Listening to Conflict, author Eric Van Slyke outlines six listening levels.00:14:37 To be a good listener, try to remember H-U-R: •Hearing the Message •Understanding the message •Responding to the messageHear it Here - https://bit.ly/3GAwNag• Validation is the process of genuinely hearing, seeing, and witnessing another person’s lived reality and allowing it to be what it is. It’s crucial in good communication. Validation is not agreement or reinforcement but recognizing emotions for what they are. It can be emotional, behavioral, or cognitive—or all three. • Good listening is the ability to be open and receptive, to accept what we’re told, but also to process and really engage with that information so that we can also return it to the speaker if appropriate.• There are six increasing levels of listening: passive, responsive, selective, attentive, active, and empathic. Remember your role as a listener with the HUR acronym: hear the message, understand it, and respond. We can respond and show our understanding by paraphrasing, reflecting, and summarizing. #Clarification #Cognitive #CommunicationSkills #Confirm #EricVanSlyke #HURHearing #Reflecting #Responsive #Validation #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #CommunicationSkillsTraining

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:02:55 Technique 1: Playing It Cool00:07:02 Technique 2: Pulling A Columbo 00:07:29 The technique is pretty straightforward: 1. Get People Talking Freely And Carelessly 2. Slip In A Question When Their Guard Is Down 3. Show No Indication Of What’s Happened 00:11:20 •Avoid Confrontation 00:11:36 •Don’t Make A Big Show Of Listening. 00:11:53 •Play Dumb. 00:12:14 •If In Doubt, Ask People To Repeat Themselves.00:12:53 Technique 3: False Replay00:17:00 Technique 4: Leading Questions00:24:19 Technique 5: Be Provocative00:29:18 Technique 6: Gauge Response, Not AnswersHear it Here - https://bit.ly/ExtractInfo• To take our information extraction to the next level, we can use lighter, more relaxed versions of the interrogation techniques practiced by law enforcement.• One key approach is to lower the person’s defenses by not appearing to them as a threat. This can be done by being casual and informal, or even prying when official interrogations are over. The trick is to behave as though you’re not especially invested in their answer.• The Columbo technique relies on this impression of casualness so that a question can be sneakily slipped in and answered while the person’s guard is down. Play dumb, ask people to repeat themselves, and maintain a degree of plausible deniability. Hide questions in comments or statements that the other person can’t help but respond to—and reveal themselves.• The false replay technique aims to confuse and disorient a liar and get them to slip up or confess. You repeat back their story but make a “mistake” with a crucial detail, and watch their reaction. A liar is most likely to ignore it, while a truth teller will correct you. Liars are also most likely to grow agitated, angry, or distracted with being asked to retell their story in different ways, or being asked about it repeatedly.• Leading questions are typically closed questions that guide a person’s response to where you suspect the truth lies. A question can be made with a built-in assumption, or you could lead a person with priming statements or question tags.• Being provocative is a great way to de-stabilize someone and observe their reaction—disproportionate anger, fear, or distraction indicate you’ve hit a nerve.• The golden rule is to gauge a person’s complete response to a question, and not just their verbal answer. Use questions to trigger an emotional reaction and analyze this in context.#BeProvocative #Columbo #FalseReplay #GaugeResponse #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoExtractInfo

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:05:12 Tip 1: Just Keep Quiet Really.00:05:49 Tip 2: Show Your Compassion And Kindness ... Just In A Different Way 00:07:00 Tip 3: Train A Different Automatic Response 00:08:07 Tip 4: Change Apology Into Gratitude 00:09:12 Tip 5: Speak Plainly 00:10:45 Tip 6: Reframe Your Idea Of Politeness 00:12:27 Tip 7: Imperfect Is Not Wrong 00:13:34 Tip 8: Discern What Is In Your Zone Of Control Hear it Here - adbl.co/3To6NDu• People-pleasers often engage in self-sabotaging behavior: over-apologizing. This happens for many reasons, most commonly low self-esteem, the desire to please others, awkwardness and discomfort, conflict avoidance, anxiety, and perfectionism.• To overcome over-apologizing, try to practice simply staying silent or expressing concern and compassion in different ways. You could also train out the “sorry habit” by expressing what you really mean to express—for example, gratitude. Don’t apologize for being imperfect, and reframe your idea of politeness so that it includes plain, honest, clear speech, which is always more truthful and assertive. Finally, don’t apologize for things that are outside your control.#Apologizing #Politeness #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourself #SetBoundaries #StopPleasingOthers

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:02:56 According to Psychology Today, emotional intelligence (EI) is “the ability to identify and manage one’s own emotions as well as the emotions of others."00:04:02 Cultivating Emotional Awareness00:08:01 Harnessing Those Pesky Emotions 00:13:09 Emotional Management 00:16:15 Validation As Connection 00:17:47 What Validation ISN’T Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/3GAwNag• There is no communication without emotions. That means that conversational intelligence is emotional intelligence. EQ is a mix of three skills: awareness of emotions, harnessing emotions, and managing emotions. • If we are emotionally aware, we are able to identify what we are feeling in a conversation as well as observe and comprehend what another person is feeling—even if it’s wildly different from our own experience. We are also then in a position to harness those emotions and to proactively and consciously choose a response.• Slow down or pause, reflect what you’re being told, and see if you can put the newly identified and named emotion to good use. • Managing emotions means being conscious and deliberate: We can accept and acknowledge how we feel but still make conscious choices about our behavior according to our chosen goals. #CommunicationSkills #CultivatingEmotionalAwareness #DanielGoleman #EI #EQ #IQ #JohnDMayer #PeterSalovey #PsychologyToday #Validation #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #CommunicationSkillsTraining

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:07:45 Technique One Shotgun Statements00:09:09 Technique Two Barnum Statements00:11:45 Technique Three ignoring the misses00:14:38 Technique Four passing off failures as successes00:17:11 Technique Five Keeping It VagueHear it Here - https://bit.ly/ExtractInfo• We can improve our information extraction skills by following some of the techniques used by fake psychics when they do “cold reading.”• General principles for cold reading include being subtle, open-ended, and allowing the other person to guide you—without them realizing that you are not doing anything magical but merely working with the information that they provide.• Shotgun statements are random statements made in order to see what response you get so you can follow it up on what sticks.• Barnum statements are those that are likely to be perceived as relevant to individuals, even though they apply to almost everyone. Barnum statements are broad guesses that look specific but actually have a high probability of being on the mark.• When using shotgun or Barnum statements, a cold reader can also ignore their misses and focus on their hits, concealing the fact that they are guessing.• Another way to mask misses is to pass them off as successes retroactively, or rework your claim to make it seem as though you were right all along.• Cold readers deliberately keep things vague to start with, and then fine tune their approach according to the feedback they receive. They begin with a non-committal, low-stakes guess and then, by degree, inch closer to the truth using their audience’s response or lack of it.• A key principle in cold reading is to pay attention to reactions of all kinds, including nonverbal ones.• Expert cold reading combines all of these techniques seamlessly and swiftly to give the impression that the “psychic” has plucked accurate information from the air, when in reality, it has been fed to him unwittingly by the audience all along!#ShotgunStatements #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoExtractInfo #ColdReading #BarnumStatements #/home/russell/temp/KingEpi-2023-05-23-06-54-yZQ96NEHwQ/psychic-mystic-clairvoyant/1-woman-in-gray-and-black-striped-long-sleeve-shirt-sitting-beside-black-table-7267741-Pavel-Danilyuk.jpg

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:08:38 Psychologist Craig Malkin's book Rethinking Narcissism00:10:59 The Soft Startup 00:13:19 The Empathic Communication Toolkit for Handling Conflict 00:20:47 Use techniques like the Positive no or the Soft Startup https://adbl.co/3shIydQ• To be both assertive and empathic, use techniques like the “positive no” or the “soft startup” when setting a boundary. • When managing conflicts or difficult communication, remember to use open-ended questions; focus on strengths; let the other person lead; normalize rather than pathologize; and use open, conciliatory body language to show that you are on the same side. #Communicating #Communication #Conciliatory #ConversationalTools #CraigMalkins #DifficultConversation #EmpathicAssertion #EmpathicCommunicationToolkit #EmpathicStruggle #Empathy #ExpressEmpathy #Gottman #JulieGottman #Narcissism #NonviolentCommunication #SimpleEmpathicAssertion #UncomfortableConversation #UnconsciousMessage #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:01:34 Talk WITH people and not TO them.00:03:07 Dr. Karl Albrecht in Psychology Today00:15:53 Sustain Conversations with Conversational Threading and Useful Acronyms 00:22:50 Useful Conversational Acronyms The acronym HPM 00:25:17 Another useful acronym is EDRHear it Here - https://bit.ly/3GAwNag• Having charm and charisma is not about you. It’s about the other person and making them feel heard, liked, and supported.• Dr. Albrecht explains that conversations contain three elements: declaratives, questions, and qualifiers. The rule of three tells us that we should not have three declarative statements in a row and should instead mix it up with a question or a qualifier. • It’s not really about the content of what you say but the emotional implications and the energy in how you say it. • Conversational threading is a technique that will help you ensure you never run out of things to say. Listen to what the other person says, pick out a few noteworthy threads, then run with one of them. When the conversation dries up, return to these threads and pick up another one and follow that instead. Be patient, ask open-ended questions, and listen for emotions. • Being a good everyday conversationalist is about being open-minded, spontaneous, and genuine. Keep things flowing! #Albrecht #CasualConversation #Communication #ConversationalAcronyms #ConversationalNarcissist #ConversationalThreading #DeclarativeStatements #DepthTechniques #DrKarlAlbrecht #EDR #EmotionDetailRestatement #EverydayConversations #HPM #RhetoricalQuestions #SkilledConversationalists #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homeHear it Here - https://bit.ly/ExtractInfo00:01:16 From Patrick King's book how to Extract Info, Secrets and Truth, let's take a look at the importance of eye contact and then spend some time discussing active listening.00:03:34 Effects of Eye Contact and Social Status on the Perception of a Job Applicant in an Employment Interviewing Situation00:03:56 Accurate Intelligence Assessments in Social Interactions, Mediators and Gender Effects00:05:34 A 2016 Japanese study by Kajimura and Nomura titled When We Cannot Speak eye Contact Disrupts Resources Available to Cognitive Control Processes During Verb Generation00:06:22 Helping Children Think Gaze Aversion and Teaching by Phelps and Doherty Snedden, researchers found that kids told to look away while thinking and solving problems showed a 20% increase in performance.00:07:51 Eye Contact, Distance and Affiliation00:22:41 Label Emotions • Eye contact is essential for building trust. If you aren’t able to use eye contact, people will find you untrustworthy. The optimal eye contact period is around three seconds of eye contact at a time, with sufficient rest between gazes.• Active listening is a valuable skill set that any person should master, but the techniques of active listening can also help you improve your elicitation abilities and gather more information about people. You need to comprehend, retain and respond to the information people are sharing with you.• You can build rapport and connection in many ways, for example by restating, reflecting, summarizing, labeling emotions, probing (gently!) and using silence to encourage the other person to open up. Open-ended or leading questions (like those covered in the previous chapter) can subtly guide a person to open up to you.• Avoid giving advice, lecturing, sermonizing or judging.• Active listening techniques are best used when you would like someone to open up with you and share their true feelings. Other techniques are more appropriate for detecting deception.#ActiveListener #Binetti #CommunicationSkills #DohertySneddon #EmpatheticReflection #EyeContact #GazeAversion #GazeDuration #Kajimura #Kressler #LieDetection #NeuroLinguisticProgramming #Nomura #NonverbalCommunication #PupilDilation #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoExtractInfo #Secrets #andTruth

Hear it Here - adbl.co/3To6NDu• People-pleasing behavior can stem from a harsh inner critic, who is the one telling us that we are not worth anything unless we serve others, or that we do not deserve to have our needs met or boundaries respected.• We can push against our inner critic by becoming aware of its voice and honestly answering some questions, such as: is the choice I’m making ultimately for me or for someone else? Is this voice in my head serving my interests or working against me? The inner critic, however, is there for a reason, and we can ask what that reason is. Seek to understand what that function is, then consciously choose to meet that need in a healthier way.#InnerCritic #NegativeCoreBeliefs #Peoplepleasers #Peoplepleasing #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourself #SetBoundaries #&StopPleasingOthers

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homehttps://adbl.co/3shIydQ00:01:33 What to Say, What Not to Say 00:03:34 Avoid Diminishing 00:05:00 Avoid Dismissing 00:06:14 Avoid Leading Questions 00:07:11 Avoid Advice or Personal Anecdotes 00:09:31 Acknowledge Their Courage 00:09:56 Ask Empathic Questions 00:10:48 Compliment Their Character 00:11:55 Show You Care 00:12:34 An Empathic Statement Formula 00:18:18 Nonviolent Communication/NVC 00:20:48 To use NVC, we must always remember to: 00:23:40 Feelings 00:26:19 Needs00:29:49 Requests 00:34:15 When the Shoe Is on the Other Foot 00:38:43 Let's take a moment to summarize • In empathic communication, we should always seek to understand first and to create connection. Empathic statements can help, but avoid deflecting, diminishing, dismissing, dominating the conversation with leading questions, or giving advice or personal anecdotes. Instead, ask empathic questions, compliment something in their character, or do something practical to show you care. • The nonviolent communication model consists of four components: observations, feelings, needs, and requests. First, become aware of the objective facts of the situation and separate them out from interpretations, assumptions, and judgments about those facts. Next, share what you are feeling, remembering that feelings are connected to our needs, met or unmet. • Then, express these needs without blaming and without confusing needs with strategies used to meet those needs. Finally, finish with a request for that need to be met. Avoid requests that are vague, impossible to fulfil, framed as what you don’t want, or framed as a demand that can’t be refused. A request does not entitle us to receive what we ask for, so we should graciously accept if it isn’t granted. #DrMarshallRosenberg #Empathic #EmpathicConversation #EmpathicStatements #NonjudgmentalPerspective #NonviolentCommunication #NVC #Rosenberg #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TrainYourEmpathyPhoto by sumit-kapoor and Pexels

00:05:40 Posture and Body Orientation 00:09:33 Eye Contact 00:10:54 A study led by Dr. Arthur Aron00:11:53 The Power of Eye Contact by psychologist Michael Ellsberg00:13:03 Kara Ronin’s “triangle technique” 00:13:41 Paralinguistics 00:15:08 The Four Ps of Voice 00:17:37 How to Improve Your Vocal Variety • When reading someone’s body language, pay attention to microexpressions, their overall posture and orientation in space, as well as their degree of eye contact. Paralinguistics refers to information carried in the tone, pace, pitch, etc. of the voice. • Think in terms of overall openness or closedness, but remember that no single detail is decisive and conclusive and that observations should always be compared against a baseline.#Communication #ConfidentSpeaker #DrArthurAron #EyeContact #InvoluntaryFacialExpression #MichaelEllsberg #NonverbalVocalCommunication #Paralinguistics #TriangleTechnique #VerbalCommunication #VerbalExpression #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #CommunicationSkillsTrainingPatrickKingPhoto by fauxels and Pexels