3 Types of Validation: How to Understand and Respond
Social Skills Coaching · Patrick King
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Show Notes
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00:01:12 Broadly speaking, there are three types of validation:
00:01:44 1. Emotional Validation
00:03:52 2. Behavioral Validation
00:05:49 3. Cognitive Validation
00:10:02 In Listening to Conflict, author Eric Van Slyke outlines six listening levels.
00:14:37 To be a good listener, try to remember H-U-R:
•Hearing the Message
•Understanding the message
•Responding to the message
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• Validation is the process of genuinely hearing, seeing, and witnessing another person’s lived reality and allowing it to be what it is. It’s crucial in good communication. Validation is not agreement or reinforcement but recognizing emotions for what they are. It can be emotional, behavioral, or cognitive—or all three.
• Good listening is the ability to be open and receptive, to accept what we’re told, but also to process and really engage with that information so that we can also return it to the speaker if appropriate.
• There are six increasing levels of listening: passive, responsive, selective, attentive, active, and empathic. Remember your role as a listener with the HUR acronym: hear the message, understand it, and respond. We can respond and show our understanding by paraphrasing, reflecting, and summarizing.
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