How To Drop The People-Pleaser’s Worst Habit
Social Skills Coaching · Patrick King
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Show Notes
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00:05:12 Tip 1: Just Keep Quiet Really.
00:05:49 Tip 2: Show Your Compassion And Kindness ... Just In A Different Way
00:07:00 Tip 3: Train A Different Automatic Response
00:08:07 Tip 4: Change Apology Into Gratitude
00:09:12 Tip 5: Speak Plainly
00:10:45 Tip 6: Reframe Your Idea Of Politeness
00:12:27 Tip 7: Imperfect Is Not Wrong
00:13:34 Tip 8: Discern What Is In Your Zone Of Control
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• People-pleasers often engage in self-sabotaging behavior: over-apologizing. This happens for many reasons, most commonly low self-esteem, the desire to please others, awkwardness and discomfort, conflict avoidance, anxiety, and perfectionism.
• To overcome over-apologizing, try to practice simply staying silent or expressing concern and compassion in different ways. You could also train out the “sorry habit” by expressing what you really mean to express—for example, gratitude. Don’t apologize for being imperfect, and reframe your idea of politeness so that it includes plain, honest, clear speech, which is always more truthful and assertive. Finally, don’t apologize for things that are outside your control.
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