Social Skills Coaching

Next, we come to critical thinking. Critical thinking is concerned with questioning answers rather than asking questions. It seeks to take nothing at face value and provide a three-dimensional and nuanced view of a topic or stance. Without that, you are by definition jumping to conclusions or relying on someone else’s word—an opinion without inquiry is a weak one. We can practice critical thinking through a series of questions.Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3n6a2fzShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#IndependentThinker #TheCriticalThinker #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheIndependentThinker

Many sex tips focus on either specific techniques or exploring kinks to improve your sex life, but that’s not what really matters. Studies have shown eight specific elements of great sex: presence, connection, intimacy, communication, authenticity, bliss, exploration, and vulnerability. This is empowering because it means literally everyone has the ability to be a great lover; it just takes time, energy, and attention.Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttractionShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#CompleteAcceptance #Connection #Intimacy #Presence #Vulnerability #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheScienceofAttraction

Finally, we get right into the thick of it. How can we read and analyze people just through sight and observation? We cover two primary aspects: facial expressions and body language. It’s important to note that though many aspects have been scientifically proven (with physiological origins), we can’t say that simple observations are foolproof. It can never be definitive because there are too many external factors to take into account. But we can better understand what typical things to look for and what we can glean from them.We use two types of facial expressions: micro- and macroexpressions. Macroexpressions are larger, slower, and more obvious. They are also routinely faked and consciously created. Microexpressions are the opposite of all of those things: incredibly quick, almost unperceivable, and unconscious. Psychologist Paul Ekman identified a host of microexpressions for each of the six basic emotions and in particular has also identified microexpressions to indicate nervousness, lying, or deception.Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/readpeoplekingShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#DetectLiars #FacialExpressions #Macroexpressions #Microexpressions #PaulEkman #TheBody #TheFace #AndClusters #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoReadPeopleLikeaBook

One methodical way to seek truth and simulate curiosity is by embracing skepticism. No, it’s not about being cynical or simply refusing to believe what people tell you. Rather, it’s refusing to blindly believe what people tell you and requiring evidence and facts. In this way, a skeptic is quite similar to a scientist utilizing the scientific method. No answer is required here, and only understanding is sought. Skepticism requires slowing down your thoughts and thinking like a scientist.Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3n6a2fzShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#ConfirmationBias #Cynicism #IndependentThinker #IntellectualHonesty #Skeptic #Skepticism #ASkeptic’sView #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheIndependentThinker

• The purpose of all communication, whether we know it or not, is to meet our needs. We can become better communicators (and improve our relationships) if we learn to properly understand, take responsibility for, and meet our own needs before we approach others. We can also improve communication by learning to proactively meet our own needs. • We can take steps to minimize or remove the obstacles standing in the way of effective communication. • Obstacle 1 is not knowing ourselves and projecting our own issues or unmet needs onto other people, causing conflict. We can address this by noticing when we have a strong, automatic reaction or resistance, and becoming curious about it rather than going into reactivity. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/IntentionalCommunicationKingShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#CarlJung #IntentionalCommunication #HowToOwnYourEmotions #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #IntentionalCommunication

Loss, rejection, uncertainty, discomfort, humiliation, loneliness, failure, panic . . . all of these can be defended against using certain mental tricks. These mechanisms are there to protect us from experiencing negative emotions. They work in the moment, but in the long run, they are ineffective since they rob us of the opportunity to face, accept, and digest inevitably negative emotions as they crop up. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/readpeoplekingShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#AnnaFreud #DefenseMechanisms #SigmundFreud #DefenseOfTheEgoIsANastyHabit #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoReadPeopleLikeaBook

The first and most natural way to probe below the surface is through cultivating curiosity. There are five types of curiosity, each of which can be a motivation for asking questions: joyous exploration, deprivation sensitivity, stress tolerance, social curiosity, and thrill-seeking. However, curiosity will rarely come easily or naturally, especially about things we don’t have an innate interest in. So, we need to generate that same approach through other methods.Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3n6a2fzShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#Curiosity #GeorgeMasonUniversity #IndependentThinker #Kashdan #MentalModels #StressTolerance #ToddBKashdan #CuriousAsACat #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheIndependentThinker

Finally, we come to defense of the ego. This is one of our most powerful motivators, but it is mostly unconscious. Simply put, we act to guard our ego from anything that would make us feel psychologically less. In doing so, it is so powerful that it allows us to bend reality and lie to ourselves and others—all outside of our conscious awareness. Defense mechanisms are the ways that we avoid responsibility and negative feelings, and they include denial, rationalization, projection, sublimation, regression, displacement, repression, and reaction formation, to name a few. When you know the ego is in play, it often takes front stage over other motivations.Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/readpeoplekingShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#DefenseMechanisms #DefenseOfTheEgo #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoReadPeopleLikeaBook

• At this point in the book, you may have a better understanding of how to reach your goal of mating. However, in reality, your goal is sustained mating within a relationship. How can you make sure the sex is good enough to do that? • Many sex tips focus on either specific techniques or exploring kinks to improve your sex life, but that’s not what really matters. Studies have shown eight specific elements of great sex: presence, connection, intimacy, communication, authenticity, bliss, exploration, and vulnerability. This is empowering because it means literally everyone has the ability to be a great lover; it just takes time, energy, and attention.Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttractionShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#DarkerFetishes #EmotionalBond #Intimacy #Kleinplatz #ResearcherPeggyKleinplatz #ActsOfTheAmorousNature #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheScienceofAttraction

The last way we must struggle to keep an open mind and clarity of thought is concerning our social influences. The people around us can determine what we think and do, no matter how hard we try. This was proved in the Asch Conformity Test and the Milgram Shock Experiment. It doesn’t matter how open-minded you are; your environment can push you strongly in one way despite your best intentions.Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3n6a2fzShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#Asch #AschConformityExperiment #ConfirmationBias #Conformity #Milgram #SolomonAsch #StanleyMilgrams #SwarthmoreCollege #YaleUniversity #BattleSocialInfluence #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheIndependentThinker

Next, we move to the pyramid of needs, otherwise known as Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. It states that we are all seeking various types of needs in various points in our lives; when you can observe which level other people are in, you can understand what they are seeking out and motivated by. The levels of the hierarchy are as follows: physiological fulfillment, safety, love and belonging, self-esteem, and self-actualization. Of course, this model, as well as the next one, also functions based on the pleasure principle.Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/readpeoplekingShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#AbrahamMaslow #InterpersonalRelationships #Maslow #PhysicalSafety #PhysiologicalFulfillment #Selfactualization #ThePyramidOfNeeds #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoReadPeopleLikeaBook

Despite our own internal confusions, there are certain scientifically proven traits we do seek in mates that are more related to biological imperatives. We are subconsciously drawn to excitement and arousal, fulfilling gender-specific arousal triggers, a sense of humor, and masculine and feminine voices. Research shows that while smiling and expressing happiness can make people like and trust you, when it comes to relationships and dating, this is not always the case: men find smiling, happy women most sexually attractive, but women tend to rate as more attractive those men who express pride (i.e., competence and self-assuredness) and shame (lowered gaze and awareness of social norms). At least initially, expressing happiness is theorized to convey a lack of status or dominance. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttractionShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#AlecBeall #Beall #EmotionalMaturity #Selflessness #SelflessnessIsSexy #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheScienceofAttraction

The four principles of Marshall Rosenberg’s non-violent communication are: observations, feelings, needs, and requests, in that order. First make neutral observations instead of judgmental evaluations. Next, seek to explore feelings and not opinions. Be careful about using “you” statements or attributing blame, and instead take responsibility for your own experience. Next, connect your feelings with any unmet needs with the format: “I feel X because I need Y.” Finally, end with a respectful and reasonable request focused on your needs. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/IntentionalCommunicationKingShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#Communicate #Communication #ConflictResolutions #EffectiveCommunication #Listening #MarshallRosenbergs #NonviolentCommunication #NonviolentCommunicationFramework #ListeningAndNonviolentCommunication #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #IntentionalCommunication

Any discussion on motivation must begin with the pleasure principle, which generally states that we move toward pleasure and move away from pain. If you think about it, this is omnipresent in our daily lives in both minuscule and huge ways. As such, this actually makes people more predictable to understand. What is the pleasure people are seeking, and what is the pain they are avoiding? It’s always there in some way.Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/readpeoplekingShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#Motivation #PleasurePainPrinciple #PleasurePrinciple #OurInnerChildStillLives #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoReadPeopleLikeaBook

Despite our own internal confusions, there are certain scientifically proven traits we do seek in mates that are more related to biological imperatives. We are subconsciously drawn to excitement and arousal, fulfilling gender-specific arousal triggers, a sense of humor, and masculine and feminine voices. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttractionShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#AlbrightCollege #Arousal #ArthurAron #Attraction #AttractiveFemale #BiologicalDifferences #DesirableTraits #DonaldDutton #EmilyNagoski #FemaleSexualArousal #GenderDifference #PhysicalArousal #ResponsiveSexualArousal #SexualArousal #DrSusanHughes #TriggersForAttractionAndArousal #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheScienceofAttraction

Immersing yourself in someone else’s equally valid reality is harder than it looks, and so we need to routinely test our own assumptions. We need to ask people questions and challenge our own assumptions about what they think or feel or how we attribute their actions. Psychologizing people is a way we can believe we’re listening compassionately, but actually we’re forcing our interpretation or worldview onto another person instead of genuinely listening to their experience. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/IntentionalCommunicationKingShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#CompassionateConcern #ConstructiveFeedback #GoodListener #HarmfulAssumptions #IntentionalCommunication #MentalModels #QuestionYourself.QuestionOthers. #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #IntentionalCommunication

Confirmation bias is also the most prominent way that we fail to simply follow the evidence. If we perform research and keep an open mind, our task is simple: just follow the arrows where they point. But all too often, we are seduced into following the wrong arrows. These include the cognitive distortions of focusing on “must” and “should”, black-and-white thinking, the Dunning-Kruger Effect, and labeling. Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3n6a2fzShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#ConfirmationBias #DavidDunning #DunningKrugerEffect #IndependentThinker #InterpersonalCommunications #JustinKruger #Kruger #It’SOkayToBeUncertain #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheIndependentThinker

We’ve talked about analyzing and predicting behavior based on people’s emotions and values, but what about motivation? It turns out there are a few prominent and fairly universal models of motivation that can give you a helpful framework to understand people with. When you can pinpoint what people are motivated by, you can see how everything leads back to it either directly or indirectly.Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/readpeoplekingShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#CarlJung #CompassionateUnderstanding #Jungian #PsychologicalDiscomfort #ShadowModel #WhyBotherToUnderstandPeopleAtAll #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoReadPeopleLikeaBook

Finally, we become great people-readers when we understand ourselves. We need to know what biases, expectations, values, and unconscious drives we bring to the table so we are able to see things as neutrally and objectively as possible. We must refrain from letting pessimism cloud our judgments because its often easier to arrive at the more negative conclusion when an alternate, more positive one is equally likely. To gain better insight into the progress you make as you read through this book, you need to know your proficiency at analyzing people as you start out. Simon Baron Cohen has come up with a test available on http://socialintelligence.labinthewild.org/ that’ll help you gauge how good you are at reading people’s emotions right now. It is also a good way to come to the realization that we are perhaps not as good at reading people as we think we are.Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/readpeoplekingShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#Cohen #NonverbalCues #SaschaBaronCohen #SimonBaronCohen #SocialIntelligence #TheProblemOfObjectivity #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoReadPeopleLikeaBook

The most glaring example of this is confirmation bias, wherein we are deaf and blind to evidence that doesn’t support what we think. In other words, we see what we want to see, and we can make a belief appear out of thin air. This is dangerous because it brings the ability to ignore reality. You eventually become entrenched in an echo chamber of reinforcing information that will lead you astray.Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3n6a2fzShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#BertrandRussell #ConfirmationBias #IndependentThinker #ConfirmationBiasIsSeeingWhatYouWantToProveAPre-ChosenConclusion. #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheIndependentThinker

It’s important to avoid using language that triggers defensiveness. This includes things like “what’s wrong with you?” “I’m sorry you feel that way,” “whatever,” “you’re overreacting,” “you’re entitled to your opinion,” or anything using absolute terms like “always” and “never.” These are invalidating and inflammatory and will be met with resistance, emphasizing emotional barriers rather than dissolving them.Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/IntentionalCommunicationKingShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#CompassionateUnderstanding #Conflict #DefensiveResponse #DismissiveAttitude #DodgeAccountability #EmotionalBarriers #HealthyCommunication #Listen #Listening #SignsThatYourListeningCouldUseSomeWork #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #IntentionalCommunication

We often think we know what we want based on singular experiences, stereotypes, or simple social pressures. But we are typically very, very wrong. In fact, most of the time, we are just making educated guesses. Psychological distance is deceptive, and we often confuse what we want with what benefits us from a self-interest standpoint. In reality, what we do know is simply what we don’t want. This is not the same as wanting the opposite of what we don’t want.Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttractionShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#BuildingAttraction #DynamicRelationship #EastwickFinkel #PhysicalAttractiveness #PsychologicalDistance #RomanticPartner #TropeLiberman #HowToKnowWhatYouWant(YouDon’t) #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheScienceofAttraction

Most of the communication that takes place between people is non-verbal in nature. What people say is often a poor indicator of what they want to convey, which makes people-reading a valuable life skill with almost endless benefits. Although we’re all blessed with different aptitudes, it’s possible to develop this skill in ourselves, as long as we can be honest about where we’re starting from. • No matter which theory of model we use to help us analyze and interpret our observations, we need to consider context and how it factors in. One sign in isolation rarely leads to accurate judgments; you need to consider them in clusters. The culture people come from is another important factor that helps contextualize your analysis appropriately. • Behavior is meaningless in a void; we need to establish a baseline so that we know how to interpret what we see. This means that you need to ascertain what someone is normally like to detect deviances from that to draw accurate interpretations of when they’re happy, excited, upset, etc. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/readpeoplekingShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#NormalBaseline #StereotypicalBehaviors #TelltaleSigns #ObstaclesToBecomingBrilliantAtReadingPeople #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoReadPeopleLikeaBook #

An integral part of crystal-clear thinking is to be open-minded. Being open-minded means hearing evidence or an argument and not making an instant judgment. It means being able to say, “I don’t know” and resist that feeling of uncertainty. These are all difficult because we are wired to do the opposite.Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3n6a2fzShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#IndependentThinker #WhyArePeopleSoClosed-Minded? #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheIndependentThinker

Active listening techniques help us to absorb, understand, remember, and respond to what we’re told. This includes non-judgment, reflection, paying attention, seeking clarification, summarizing, and possibly sharing your own experience. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/IntentionalCommunicationKingShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#ConversationSkills #ActiveListeningIsHard.ItTakesEffort. #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #IntentionalCommunication

A study specified the traits that predicted the most relationship success if similar: agreeableness and emotional stability. Conventional wisdom says that opposites attract, but for successful long-term partnerships, shared values and similarity in interest, communication, preferences, etc. are usually more valuable. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttractionShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#Agreeableness #Conscientiousness #EmotionalStability #Fraley #HudsonFraley #Kaufman #LoveMayBeLessImportantThanHowSimilarYouAreToYourMate #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheScienceofAttraction

Most of the communication that takes place between people is non-verbal in nature. What people say is often a poor indicator of what they want to convey, which makes people-reading a valuable life skill with almost endless benefits. Although we’re all blessed with different aptitudes, it’s possible to develop this skill in ourselves, as long as we can be honest about where we’re starting from. No matter which theory of model we use to help us analyze and interpret our observations, we need to consider context and how it factors in. One sign in isolation rarely leads to accurate judgments; you need to consider them in clusters. The culture people come from is another important factor that helps contextualize your analysis appropriately. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/readpeoplekingShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#ReadPeopleLikeaBook #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching

In the Imago framework, we seek to remove emotional barriers to connection by communicating. The Sender and the Receiver takes turns sharing their message.The Receiver listens by mirroring, validating, and communicating empathy as the Sender speaks. Then, they change places. The key is to be patient, don’t interrupt, and avoid trying to be the Sender when you should be acting as the Receiver. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/IntentionalCommunicationKingShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#BodyLanguage #DrHarvilleHendrix #DrHelenHunt #EffectiveCommunication #EmotionalBarriers #EmpatheticUnderstanding #Empathy #Imago #Validate #WhatToSayAndHowToSayIt #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #IntentionalCommunication

Your perception is biased. Understanding the world around you is probably biased because of how the brain jumps to conclusions. These types of jumps are called cognitive biases. They seek to create a story out of as little information as possible, to avoid uncertainty. Battling cognitive biases involves telling stories in reverse, slowing down, and shifting your focus to questions instead of declaratory statements.Your memories are wrong. No matter how real and accurate they sometimes feel, a disturbing fact is that memories and false memories end up being indistinguishable to your brain. Factors as small as word choice or pointed questions can distort memories. Unfortunately, we depend on these memories to form our world views and perspectives.Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3n6a2fzShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#AbsoluteTruth #AnneliesVredeveldt #ChristopherFrench #Coan #EyewitnessTestimony #FalseMemory #HugoMunsterbergs #IndependentThinker #Munsterbergs #Neufel #JuliaShaw #Scheck #Shaw #Vredeveldt #WorkToImproveYourPerception #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheIndependentThinker

The triangular theory of love states that the most successful relationships score well on all three metrics: attraction, intimacy, and commitment. Happy couples need to have strong overlap and match in their “triangles” or else work to strengthen their weak points. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttractionShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#Commitment #ConsciousChoices #Intimacy #IntimacyPassionCommitment #Passion #PhysicalAttraction #RobertSternberg #Sternberg #SuccessfulPartnerships #SuccessfulRelationship #TriangularTheory #WhenYouSayYou’ReInLoveWithSomeone #WhatDoYouMean? #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheScienceofAttraction

Practice conversational patience, listen to others, and give them the space to be as they are. In other words, cut out the ego! You can validate others by asking questions every time you’re tempted to jump in and hog attention. Relax, slow down, and have the self-discipline and compassion to let the conversation unfolds as it will, rather than as you think it should.Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/IntentionalCommunicationKingShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#GenuineHumility #InstantGratification #IntentionalCommunication #TerribleListeners #ListeningWellMeansPuttingYourOwnNeedsAndPerspectivesOnTheBackBurner #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #IntentionalCommunication

Your perception is biased. Understanding the world around you is probably biased because of how the brain jumps to conclusions. These types of jumps are called cognitive biases. They seek to create a story out of as little information as possible, to avoid uncertainty. Battling cognitive biases involves telling stories in reverse, slowing down, and shifting your focus to questions instead of declaratory statements.Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3n6a2fzShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#AvailabilityHeuristic #CognitiveBias #GamblersFallacy #IndependentThinker #Postpurchase #PerceptionIsBiased #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheIndependentThinker

Love is what most of us marry for, but arranged marriages have been around for a very long time. In fact, what most of us would consider romantic love is a luxury that is only a few hundred years old.Arranged marriages work precisely because love is placed as a low priority. Instead, commitment, problem-solving, and lowered expectations take the forefront and create conditions that allow for a harmonious relationship to first blossom, which allows love to follow.Another factor that appears to be more important than love in relationships is similarity. Studies have shown that similarity is more important because people don’t tend to change, and over time, you’re just left with conflicting values and worldviews.Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttractionShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#ArrangedMarriages #Attraction #ConflictSkills #ElaineHatfield #Epstein #FrancineKaye #HappyCouples #HappyLife #DrRobertEpstein #Hatfield #HealthierMarriages #ProximityEffect #Rajasthan #Sprecher #SusanSprecher #WesternCultures #WesternMarriages #LoveIsAllThatMatters... #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheScienceofAttraction

Humility is the virtue that will allow you to quickly and sincerely own up to mistakes. This takes courage and maturity. Make sure any apologies show remorse, repentance, and full responsibility, as well as explain what went wrong, what you will do to fix it, and a request for forgiveness. Accept any response to your apology with grace.Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/IntentionalCommunicationKingShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#Communication #DefensiveReaction #EffectiveApology #FauxApology #HeartfeltApology #IntentionalCommunication #Lewicki #Lount #RobertLountJr #RoyLewicki #BethPolin #Humility:TheRarestVirtue #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #IntentionalCommunication

Your perspective isn’t reality. It represents your subjective and unique worldview, but it’s not objective, it’s not reality, and it is destined to be skewed in terms of your experiences. Some experiences are solidified in what are known as schemas and heuristics, which are the frameworks you use to organize and understand the world. Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3n6a2fzShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#Heuristic #IndependentThinker #JeanPiaget #MentalGuidelines #Piaget #Schema #PerspectiveIsn’tReality #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheIndependentThinker

• Dr. Jack Schafer’s friendship formula states that people build connections when they are in proximity to one another, when their interactions are frequent and long in duration, and when both parties get their needs met. • Schafer’s theory can be applied to flirting, especially in contexts where the three-part flirting process wouldn’t be appropriate. • Whichever approach you use (short-term flirting or longer-term connection-building) remember to go step by step, building gradually on pervious connection, and adjust your approach carefully based on how you’re being received.Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttractionShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#Attraction #AutomaticAssessments #BuildingAttraction #DrJackSchafer #FacialExpressions #NicolasGuéguen #PhysicalStrength #PickupLines #Posture #ProximityFrequencyDuration #Schafer #SexualAttractiveness #YogaCalisthenicsSports #AWordOnFirstImpressions—AndWalkingTheWalk #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheScienceofAttraction

With curiosity, we stay open-minded and humble, and approach others in a spirit of opportunity, respect, and the desire to learn. Express genuine interest in someone by asking open-ended questions and really listening to the answers. Don’t assume, let people speak, and check your comprehension by paraphrasing. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/IntentionalCommunicationKingShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#Communication #Curiosity #SuccessfulCommunication #ValueJudgments #StayCurious #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #IntentionalCommunication

• Usually, your brain, instincts, gut feelings, emotions, and hunches are all liars (usually). They aren’t doing it on purpose, but they inherently function by jumping to conclusions, saving time, conserving energy, and valuing speed over accuracy. Their goal is to function on less information, and the less of it, the better. Not quite crystal-clear thinking. • Your feelings and emotions can overpower you and completely color your thinking. But that’s confusing feelings for facts. They are entirely separate things. Reality is in fact neutral.Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3n6a2fzShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#AutonomousThinkers #EmotionalReasoning #IndependentThinker #FreedomFromIllusionsOfReality #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheIndependentThinker

the art of getting the attention of the opposite sexHear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttractionShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#ApproachStage #AttractionPlay #Fisher #FisherByrne #HumanInteraction #MentalAttraction #Synchronize #TimothyPerper #AllAboutFlirting #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheScienceofAttraction

• Empathy is the ability to understand and feel into someone else’s experience, as well as take action to help them. There are three types—cognitive, emotional, and compassionate. • First gain cognitive empathy by switches perspectives, listening, asking questions, and seeking to understand. Find emotional empathy by addressing their higher natures and assuming the best of them, or find common ground. Finally offer compassionate empathy by taking action to enhance their wellbeing. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/IntentionalCommunicationKingShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#Attenborough #CognitiveEmpathy #CompassionateEmpathy #DavidAttenborough #EmotionalEmpathy #Empathy #IntentionalCommunication #NonverbalCommunication #ButWhatAboutEmpathy? #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #IntentionalCommunication

Many famous independent thinkers throughout history shed light on how we might develop the capacity in ourselves. Socrates teaches us the power of asking questions and uncovering our assumptions by taking nothing for granted. Niall Ferguson teaches us about counterfactual thinking, and imagining answers to the question “what if?”, and Nietzsche teaches us the value of perspective-switching to enrich our perception of the world. Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3n6a2fzShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#Ferguson #FriedrichNietzsche #IndependentThinker #NiallFerguson #Nietzsche #Socrates #WhatIndependentThinkingActuallyLooksLike #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheIndependentThinker

Finally, the deeper the love, the deeper the hate. Love and hate are closer than you think because they are both intense emotions. Work with love and hate in your own “chase” by leading with your polarizing attributes rather than aiming to please everyone in the boring middle. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttractionShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#Attraction #IntenseEmotions #JinXiang #OkCupid #Xiang #TheDeeperTheLove #TheDeeperTheHate #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheScienceofAttraction

Better communication skills stem from a healthy mindset and a good attitude toward relationships in general. We can practice and communicate self-differentiation by knowing and taking responsibility for communicating our own needs. Then we can establish boundaries and gently but firmly assert them. Boundaries are not rules for others’ behavior, but for ours. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/IntentionalCommunicationKingShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#Assertiveness #AssertivePerson #GenuineAssertiveness #GoodBoundaries #HealthyBoundary #IntentionalCommunication #Selfdifferentiation #TheGentlePowerOfAssertiveness #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #IntentionalCommunication

The fundamentals of critical thought include learning to take in information (especially reading) critically, dropping the ego so that you don’t get stuck in any one perspective or opinion, having the bravery to be disliked for being different, and maintaining an open and receptive rather than closed mind. Conventional thinkers differ from independent thinkers in their approach to reality itself, and how they see the function of thinking. For the former, it’s to bolster the ego. For the latter, it’s for the thrill of encountering reality directly.Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3n6a2fzShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#ComfortZone #ContrarianThinker #ConventionalThinkers #CriticalReading #IndependentThinker #IndependentIsNotTheSameAsContrarian #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching

Most of us have been faced with being rejected and told that we are only thought of as friends and not romantic partners. Is there a way to deal with this? For females, perhaps. Studies have shown that females do indeed see males platonically, but males do not do the same for females. Can males and females be only platonic friends? Yes, but it will usually be the female’s choice. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttractionShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#Bleskerechek #Jonason #Jung #Just #Klein #Miranda #Parker #PlatonicFriends #Taylor #HumansWantWhatWeCan’tHave #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheScienceofAttraction

Finally, master self-differentiation and be crystal clear on thoughts versus feelings, and your thoughts and feelings versus those of others. Defuse conflict by taking responsibility for your perspective while seeing the other persons for what it is. Most important of all, have the maturity to maintain intimacy with others despite differences in opinion. Routinely ask what is your “business” versus theirs and what is observation versus evaluation.Keep the words flowing by buying me a coffee.

• Independent thinkers can think logically, clearly and autonomously, outside the pressures of their cultures, upbringings, past experiences or historical period. They are conscious and aware, rather than reactive and automatic, and can truly think (and experience) for themselves.• Cultivating independent thought takes time and effort. The first stage is to assemble a patchwork identity as an independent thinker, and mimic others we see around us. The second stage is to gradually develop trust in our own perceptions and intellectual faculties, while occasionally deferring to convention. The final step is truly independent thought. This free, adventurous, creative, and proactive thought originates purely within us. Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3n6a2fzShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#ConventionalThinkers #CriticalThinker #CulturalIdeals #DeepestCoreValues #IndependentThinker #WhatDoesItReallyMeanToBeAnIndependentThinker? #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #IndependentThinker

In every interaction, consciously choose to address the other persons highest self, or at least their most vulnerable and human self. Acknowledge emotional content and not just superficial details. Have compassion, awareness, and genuine curiosity for other peoples different perspectives.Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting