Shitty Cinema

This week we watched a tale as old as time itself... and the jokes were even staler. Co-starring a young Leslie Jordan trying to go above and beyond his lackey duties to carry the whole film. Frankenstein general Hospital leaves us feeling as though we need help for the comatose state it put us in. Visit us online: ShittyCinema.com facebook.com/sh.ttycinema instagram.com/casey.cinema

Steven Seagal tries to convince us that he's a serious doctor, and thought leader in virology, but all we can do is get upset about his medical safety practices. Maybe we should have focused more on Waco does a COVID but we had to talk about Steven's relationship to that damn mini horse. Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com https://facebook.com/sh.ttycinema https://instagram.com/casey.cinema

Shitty Cinema laments another lack of splits in the Van Damme classic Death Warrant. Despite that, we find joy by making our own Mentos moments and eyeing the little outfits! Visit us online at: ShittyCinema.com facebook.com/sh.ttycinema instagram.com/casey.cinema patreon.com/shittycinema

This week we find out the mob really wants to buy your local mall dojo. Dave educates us on crimes against Bruce Lee while Casey suffers from vitamin JCVD deficiency. Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema https://instagram.com/casey.cinema https://patreon.com/shittycinema

Casey has Van Damme blinders, Jay wants Scott Adkins as the Punisher, and Dave can only see dating red flags in movies but not in real life. Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

The gang discusses the merits of our favorite actor doing Die Hard on a train, the joys of miniatures, why we sympathize with the guy buying everyone drinks on a train, and complain about the fact that Derailed is the most cut film in the universe. Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema

This film confirms that wizards are lazy and could solve all their own problems but instead choose to rope other people in to screw it all up (we see you Gandalf). Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema

Today I learned John Cena can turn any police vehicle into a Tie fighter. While you might not see him, when he throws you through an office window the cameras definitely will. Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

There are two Don Frey's inside of all of us, and one is his mustache. If you don't simp for Don, get off our porch.

How far would you go to get a sibling out of jail? Would you drink a smoothie made by your future murderer? Would you watch-- IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU'D WATCH STONE COLD IN THE PACKAGE! Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

Even though Back in Action features the greatest heel in professional wrestling history brother, we fail mightily in talking about anything except Billy Blanks body. Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

Much like some of your gatherings this Christmas, there are no good people in this film. Listen in as Casey defends influencers, Jay boards a forbidden ship, and Dave wages war on Christmas and cheek fillers. Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

What's sadder than two 40 year olds pretending to be teens? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Maybe you after you watch this movie. Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

What is Christmas without VHS quality images of Eric Roberts, a psychic law professor, and karate? In this episode we learn the true value of Christmas is doing a cheap Dickens knock-off by adding captured dads and children doing martial arts. All we want to know is; who is going to hold the board for this damn kid to karate chop? Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

Mel Gibson as a gun toting Santa -- the Fatman -- being hunted by a hitman with a grudge called the Skinny Man should be Shitty Cinema gold. Shootout in Santa's factory? Check. Santa needs government contracts to fulfill military gear to meet his bills? Check. The main villain is a rich child that acts like a bond villain but is just a snot nosed spoiled brat? Dammit, check. What a way to slip into the holidaze. Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

The gang tries to work through their complicated feelings of G-Rated Showgirls. We discuss when it's appropriate to eat tuna in bed, how much we have learned about Sharon Stone, and dole out the best superhero legal advice yet. If the tits don't fit, you must acquit! Social Media Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

Shootouts, shootouts, shootouts! Should someone call the cops on Sharon Stone? Will anyone find redemption in Redemption? All we know is that Gene Hackman's Herod is deliciously evil and we are here for it. Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

This week we have more questions than answers about New Jersey, power fantasies, and Dave non-erotic fan fic about our main characters unhappy marriage

In this episode we get lost in the best way to ride a several ton stone battering ram, give some thoughts on Carnies as they relate to Tomb Raider, and wax poetically about the Ultimate Perfect Tomb Raider. Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

Jay tries to fight Roger Ebert's cousin, Casey needs a priest, and Dave gets lost in the ether. Join us on this holy day for our favorite technically catholic film! Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

All freaks and no geeks, this monster movie left us asking who the real bad guy really is. More importantly, who is cleaning all the poop out of the giant bat tube in Jared Leto's office? Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

What part of this Underworld knock-off that looks like a lost episode of Xena, Warrior Princess doesn't scream Shitty Cinema? We came for Bill Nighy and were not disappointed -- except for all the disappointment we experienced. Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

Milla Jovovich, like we've never seen her before: starring in a video game movie. . . wait, that's half her catalog? Can Ron Perlman and Tony Jaa save us? Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

We really want to talk about this monster movie... but all we can talk about is the horror that is what Rutger Hauer smells like in this. Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

The best Blade? The worst Blade? Definitely not the first Blade. Is Blade Trinity our favorite Wesley Snipes documentary? Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

We return to Blade again and contemplate what time with Wesley would really be like. Meanwhile, we have opinions on predator faces, poses, and talk about that beautiful, beautiful, CGI. Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

Is this just an excuse to bring the Blade trilogy? Yes. Hear us fight over who loves Wesley Snipes the most and why we think this Marvel film is better than modern Marvel films. Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

Shitty Cinema celebrates our 200th episode by watching a cult classic bad movie from the 80's. Come for the bad hair and leave with our bad takes. Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

Our special guest Chase walks us through baseball hypotheticals, running without a bra, and the difference between heaven and hell is simply a filter. Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

Rumor has it that if you start Darude Sandstorm at the exact moment Wesley Snipes recognizes Bob De Niro as an umpire at the end of this film, you will watch the greatest music video never made. You're welcome.

We take ourselves out to the ball game with Joey from Friends. Meanwhile, Casey responds rationally and calmly to the chimpanzee baseball player that outplays and out-acts Joey. Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

You know we love rollers AND balls, so this film should be a no brainer! Come for Rebecca Romijn, stay because Jean Reno is holding you captive!

Get out your athletic supporters, strap on your jocks, and other sports words because the Cinema is hitting the gym. Casey begins with the greatest sport never to grace the Olympics: Gymkata. One part gymnastics, one part karate, all sportsball. Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

The gang is inspired by real rock 'em sock 'em robot fighting to speculate about a brain eating, rabid, B.J. Penn, the merits of chainsaws for arms (spoiler: we support it), and a Huge Ackman. Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

The group tackles the big questions: does Pikachu use a litter box? what sort of existential horror is Mr. Mime? are you sure this doesn't star Ken Wheretenabi? Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

Is Small Soldiers a really long commercial? Yes. Is this many children's fantasy from the 90's? YES. We will lead our action figures into battle alongside Phil Hartman! Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Twitter https://twitter.com/badmoviesbadppl Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

Casey defies her nature picking a monkey centric film while Jay and Dave ponder the perfect song for Brendan Frasier to strip to. Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Twitter https://twitter.com/badmoviesbadppl Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

The Lohan cringe is coming in hot with this one: man kissing laws, who Chis Pine reminds Casey of, and the proper etiquette of buying your boss a date. Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Twitter https://twitter.com/badmoviesbadppl Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

The most romantic comedies are when Lohan solves her problems by throwing money at the absolutely insane men that populate her life. Is that how romance works? Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Twitter https://twitter.com/badmoviesbadppl Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

The cover of Among the Shadows is a photoshopped image of Lindsay Lohan on what appears to be the Underworld movie cover. This sounds like our kind of poison right? Casey won't find any reason to point out the continuity problems right? Right?! Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Twitter https://twitter.com/badmoviesbadppl Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

3 days of Lohan? Not a problem. Cheech Marin as a shotgun wielding Catholic Priest? Don Johnson as hunter of humans? What precisely did we stumble upon? Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Twitter https://twitter.com/badmoviesbadppl Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

Two Lohan's for the price of one? Don't mind if we do! This week we wax poetic about the joys of twin stigmata, stripping in ballroom attire, and what could be in the three hour edit of this film! Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Twitter https://twitter.com/badmoviesbadppl Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

In our last foray Outta Time the gang complains about Christopher Nolan's fancy terms, explains the truth behind Michael Caine's filming contract, and Dave unapologetically salivates for Elizabeth Debicki. Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Twitter https://twitter.com/badmoviesbadppl Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

Dave intellectually analyzes the use of narration. Casey boasts that she would speed run her video game life. And Jay complains that the movie tried at all to get him to care. Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Twitter https://twitter.com/badmoviesbadppl Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

The boys try to have a podcast, but are unfortunately derailed by Jason Scott Lee's perfect perfect torso and collection of blouses. Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Twitter https://twitter.com/badmoviesbadppl Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

Either GI Samurai is an action flick about some soldiers who travel back to feudal Japan or it's a romance about a man and a fifty caliber machine gun. Either way, we kick off Outta Time with this Sonny Chiba film. Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Twitter https://twitter.com/badmoviesbadppl Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

Val Kilmer invents the sidekick, Jay turns out to be a spy simp, and Casey breaks her no spit rule. We don't talk about Dave, his wig obsession is ruining this podcast. Social Media Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

Is David Harbour a hero? What is a farting hammer? What does the "W.S." stand for in Paul W.S. Anderson? Shitty Cinema tackles the tough questions after watching this creamy Marvel production. Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/

A return to Russian double agents with Richard "Never-Been-Bond" Gere and Topher "Never-Won't-Be-Eric-Foreman" Grace. Like Chubby Checker The Double has plenty of twisting to do but not nearly as much twisting as Casey does.

Spies and Thighs is what Andy Sidaris' movies should be called. In this sequel to Hard Ticket to Hawaii we go Incogneato and try to refrain from making puns about Donna Spears weapon of choice: a spear gun. Social Media Visit us online: shittycinema.com Find us on social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sh.ttycinema Twitter https://twitter.com/badmoviesbadppl Instagram https://www.instagram.com/casey.cinema/