Shitty Cinema

If you can sit through a movie that top bills Anthony Hopkins yet only had him in 12 minutes of the film, you may be entitled to a Freejack. Freejack with every purchase, supplies limited, must have the lobotomized body of a half dead race car driver shorter than Rene Russo. Void in Canada. Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com

It may be back to the Cinema, but we are going in forward in time, but backwards in society. Dave may have found his 13th reason in this film, Casey thinks this is a coping movie for those who settle, and Jay KNOWS Jen Garn could have warned us about a certain New York tragedy. Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com

What is more barbaric than loincloths, crystals, and wizards? Letting a Troma film dictate its own pace. Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com

How is Timeline the film that made Michael Crichton quit letting Hollywood turn his books into movie? How does one woman be forced to ignore her instincts about a clingy Paul Walker? I guess when it's only bubonic plague dudes or Paul Walker.... and no AA batteries... Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com

Did Kate's ex fill in for Kevorkian when he was in jail? Was it a land grab? Why is no one investigating the disappearance of Kate??! Where is the sequel? https://shittycinema.com

Has Elijah Wood seen the original cut of every great film? Casey finds out Van Damme sacrificed a man's eye for his career, and Dave finds out the only rule of the wasteland is Fender gets to watch... Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com

This week we learn how to make cars more fuel efficient, how to hide secret killer soldier programs from the government, and most importantly, DO NOT sign up for an arts and crafts class taught by Dolph Lundgren! Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com https://instagram.com/casey.cinema

Van Damme and the military sitting in a tree, k-i-c-k-i-n-g. First comes coup, Second in Command, watch a recycled movie starring Jean-Claude Van Damme! Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com https://instagram.com/casey.cinema

One, two, Keaton's coming for you. Three, four, pretty sure the marriage certificate is out the door. Is it polygamy if it's a gaggle of clones? Asking for Andie MacDowell. Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com https://instagram.com/casey.cinema

In South Atlanta he was cloned and raised, with Clive Owen is how he spent most of his days. Shootin' guns, ridin' bikes all cool, but dads gotta die so I can go to school! So a couple a feds, one was retired, try to figure out how I was sired. We got in some fights and my dad didn't care, so my clone daddy shot him, yo home to Bel Air (University) Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com https://instagram.com/casey.cinema

Neil Breen wants you to know 3 things: that you might be corrupt, your bankers are DEF corrupt, and he could but chooses not to bang tigers. We just want to know 2 things: have you seen it and would you watch it again? Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com https://instagram.com/casey.cinema

Is this Keanu's worst film? Will birds no m know how to get home minus a half a moon? Can someone smarter than us tell us who is right about getting the moon cut up because we know DAAAAVE can't be right. Check to see if the math if 3 space rats + 2 Jim Carrey's = 3 cinemite would watch it again adds up! Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com https://instagram.com/casey.cinema

The final week of 2025 has been spent figuring out how one affords a NYC apartment on a job that employs you one month a year, how many mediocre small town strip shows a night you'd have to do a night to save a bar, and will they EVER SHOW PEEN?! Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com https://instagram.com/casey.cinema

Another week, another round of N@zi magic ruining everyone's holiday. This week however, we get one cute shark WHO KEEPS THE HAT ON FOR MORE THAN ONE SCENE (take notes Elves...). Listen in to see what our favorite kill was, what we think Grandpa REALLY did on the side, and if this makes the cut for our background noise on the big day itself. Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com https://instagram.com/casey.cinema

The 3rd Reich takes over the 12 days of Christmas with 1 inbred virgin, 1 homicidal (but sweet?)elf, and 1 mall Santa with undiagnosed emphysema. Is it enough to add up to a 3 out of 3 would watch again? LISTEN TO THE EPISODE AND TELL US TOUGH GUY Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com https://instagram.com/casey.cinema

Have you ever lied about your boyfriend being your brother to manipulate an ex con into hitting a tiny casino for Christmas? Well they try to make this Ben "AFlick" film a thriller when this is very clearly a D flick.... with the only dick you'll see being Ben's face Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com https://instagram.com/casey.cinema

Michael Jai White is just trying to run a mime fight school when Tommy B's Boys decide to ruin the fun. Can MJW save this low budget film from the same fate as the other stream picks this month? CAN MJW JUST BE BATMAN ALREADY? YOU LET THE SPARKLEMAN , NOW LET SPAWN! Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com https://instagram.com/casey.cinema

On this episode Casey and Lorenzo get into shenanigans, Dave argues that Debra should lose her house, and Jay stands behind some messy drama with Ten Toes Down (2). Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com https://instagram.com/casey.cinema

Jay compares this to Neil Breen classics, Casey predicts when this was recorded based on outfits, and Dave hypothesizes about the wardrobe and BYO Crocs. Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com https://instagram.com/casey.cinema

What do you get when you have 5 mall cops, a rainy runaway and a Ben Kinsley cult? If you ask Jay, he'll say an excuse for Antonio Banderas to wear a beard, rrrrrrrrrrreow Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com https://instagram.com/casey.cinema

It's a new month and a new facial hair look for Colin Farrel! This week the roulette wheel of fate gave us a grey washed action flick, with a grey goose soaked lead. Come for the Colin Farrel mustache talk, stay for our fear of John Malkovich 🤷‍♀️ Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com https://instagram.com/casey.cinema

David Carradine prances around the desert like a dusty rave bunny while stoking a gang war all to save a woman who has burlap friction burns on her most private parts. Come for... the dust? Stay for the high art that is the theatrical poster of this film! Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com https://instagram.com/casey.cinema

A classic Greek tale parsed through Hollywood and then Shitty Cinema. Turns out we have a lot of thoughts about Liam Neeson's Zeus, Jay gets worked about how how un-shitty the Greek Gods are, Dave has strong feelings about making out while covered in blood, and Casey praises a child on purpose?! Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com https://instagram.com/casey.cinema

Would you put a Tony Soprano in an old timey movie? Would you go zip-lining with Ron Perlman? Should Burt Reynolds be on a full size horse or would it be safer to assign a Shetland Pony? With high fantasy anything is possible. Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com https://instagram.com/casey.cinema

Kicking High Fantasy off this month is an anime brought to the silver screen starring a jarring set of eyes, Dante Basco, and one too many Penn brother's for Casey's taste. Visit us online: https://shittcinema.com https://instagram.com/casey.cinema

How many boys will Monica's milkshake bring to the yard? Would you let Clive Owen be your doula or just your father figure? Leave with more questions than answers this week! Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com https://instagram.com/casey.cinema

This week we keep blasting through to another guntastic classic with One Upon A Time In Mexico, where Jay and Dave debate is this a bad movie while desperately avoiding Casey's córner. Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com https://instagram.com/casey.cinema

Dave discovers men will unlock an organ before getting therapy, Jay is just BEGGING to get kidnapped in a pharmacy, and figure out if this film is all we ever WANTED! Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com https://instagram.com/casey.cinema

Pow pow! We're starting season 8 with a bang! This week Casey cheats by bringing her favorite Christian Bale anti reading film, but fear not, it is far worse than we all remembered. Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com https://instagram.com/casey.cinema

Casey takes her maiden voyage on the Tremors train as we pull into the last stop of the season. Can a straight to VHS sequel bring us to a unanimous verdict for the last time this year? Can you legally blow up crustaceans in Mexico? Shitty Cinema will be off for the month of August but will be returning in September with Season 8! Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com https://instagram.com/casey.cinema

Jay answers all of the android coitus questions no one here asked nor wanted to know about, Debow saves the day, but nobody can get Dave to admit he regrets trying to shoehorn this into a different month about JUST one person. Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com https://instagram.com/casey.cinema

Michael Jai white can do no Michael Jai wrong, Casey respects Gina Carano phone number delivery game, and we decide if it's creepy to have your potential boss surprise show up post coitus with a baby on his knee (Dave answer may surprise you, and most likely disappoint you). Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com https://instagram.com/casey.cinema https://facebook.com/sh.ttycinema

Casey admits she is not able to be Mae West impartial. Can you blame her? Come for the octogenarian seducing every man in 10 yards, stay for more Beatles in this film than you thought! Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com https://instagram.com/casey.cinema

Dracula is DEFINITELY in this film... just as someone else. We talk Kung Fu, Peter Cushing, and the ultimate sacrifice, and pre-family annihilation... Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com https://instagram.com/casey.cinema

We continue Just Dracula month with an Untold story! On this episode we grapple with Dracula's superhero origin, complain about Luke Evans torso, and have deep questions about blindfolding your army as a marching strategy. Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com https://instagram.com/casey.cinema https://facebook.com/sh.ttycinema

This week we visit a turn of the century gem which serves as a time capsule of since forgotten stars. Can Wes Craven's good name save this movie? Can Casey STFU about Gerard Butler's contacts? Did anyone actually pay attention to this story? Stayed tuned for an important apology from Dave... Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com https://instagram.com/casey.cinema https://facebook.com/sh.ttycinema

This month we are doing vampires. Not just any vampires -- Just Dracula! Casey gets us started as we sample our first Dracula of the month. On this episode we spend far more time than we should on how vampires reproduce and was it a doozy! Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com https://instagram.com/casey.cinema

Shitty Cinema does Canada's "The Room"! Dave quotes Beyoncélations 3:16, Casey remembers why original 4loko is banned, and Jay needs to know every trucker origin story OR ELSE! Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com https://instagram.com/casey.cinema

Bolo Yeung would make a great centaur, is the most emotionally supportive dad at the tiddy bar, and ages like fiiiine wine. Guess who got to write the description this week? Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com https://instagram.com/casey.cinema

A hockey goon okay, which is a tough guy, you know someone that beats people up. In this episode we learn some surprises about Jay, Casey tosses some strong opinions, and Dave wants more fighting. Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com https://instagram.com/casey.cinema

This month we head to our Upstairs Neighbor Canada to see what lovely films they can share with us. On this episode we all share our feelings about Antonio Banderas, Casey spends a lot of time in her corner, and we try to figure out just what kind of assassin Lucy Liu is best as. Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com https://instagram.com/casey.cinema

Can Mark "The Throat Goat" Dacascos stop the rise of an evil kickboxing league? We will find out this week, just like we found out breaking sports equipment with your neck isn't the best way to get funding for your youth karate school, but if you want Casey to write a check to your organization, that's a guaranteed signature. Visit us online: https://shittycinema.com https://instagram.com/casey.cinema