Mill Creek OA 100 Pounder Speaker Meeting

Don't have any memory before food. I was over 400 lbs by 14 years old. This disease stole so much of my life. I have always felt bodily and mentally different from my fellows. Fear of what can happen to me only sent me deeper into the food. Today, working the steps, being free from my food obsession, my life is a constant miracle. I have lived in the same place long enough to have them raise my rent, What a gift.

I was stealing and lying about food as a young kid. Supplements, diets, all worked for a short time once. Got the 15 questions of OA in the military. Did a treatment center, Spiritual retreat and got a sponsor. Ended up more sober than abstinent. Left military, college on GI Bill - up over 300 lbs. Got back into OA, 4 years of abstinence but minimal recovery. led to relapse. Once I got back I got enrolled into Service at the Intergroup level and more but stilled bounced up and down. Today I have a sponsor, do service, stick to my food plan and am close to my goal weight and just stay here.

Everything hopeful started tomorrow, Monday or 'on the first' I was my own worst critic. Lies I told myself about me. - Fat people are lazy, unlovable, ugly, have no will power, hopeless. Compulsive overeating is a lonely pass-time. I always wanted to be thin. I was not willing to do what I needed to do. 2008 I went back to OA through a convention. I surrendered with a prayer 'God, I can't do this alone'. I got a sponsor that weekend. I got abstinent 4 days before Halloween. If you are alive you will experience celebration, sorrow, love and loss. It is always easier abstinent. Today I CAN hear the small voice that tells me 'Kara, you are OK.'

Came in at 16 but not a smooth trajectory. Food was my solution to escape from my reality. I would do anything to avoid my body being seen. I was banned from the Soup Plantation. I ended up growing up in these rooms which was very uncomfortable. Today . Abstinence is my only shot at a big, great life. I choose feelings over food. I have intimate, honest relationships with other people. I can get through anything as long as I don't try to do it alone.

Needed a Dr.s note for my first go at Weight Watchers. I started as a Catholic and learned how to pray . . . for me. I didn't worship God, I worshipped food. I became super woman - alone. Finally a therapist got me to consider I was a compulsive over eater and got to OA. So I wanted to learn the food plan. The moment I actually said I was willing to go to any length, I had a spiritual experience. and my journey to recovery finally began for real.

I was over AND under-eater. I noticed odd behavior as a child picking my friends by their snacks. I only thought about what the food did for me, not what it was doing to me. I was different Bobs with different people as any good people pleaser. No clue who I really was. After a health scare I learned how to eat but could not do it. I heard of OA but it took 3 years to hit my bottom. In program I dieted successfully until one fateful binge night brought the reality of my disease and my need for a sponsor and the steps to the forefront. A food plan helped me resist the thoughts of 'I need more' 'I am full I should stop', Just stuck to my food plan. It feels like my service work helps me more than the service I provide helps others.

Entered high school at 350, left over 500. First OA meeting was not my people, That was not MY problem. I lost 200 lbs by restricting and self will. That led to my relapse Upon reentry into OA I still struggled with the steps. Finally had a spiritual experience when I committed to going to my Father's wife's funeral. I still harbor the thought "I will never be satisfied' Today it is not as loud and I have tools to work towards an alternative.

* * There are some gaps in the first few minutes of the recording. * * My first time in I became Miss OA without doing any of the work. My resentments with my father prevented from embracing a higher power. So I left During my relapse I had Gastric Bypass AND started putting on weight. Back to OA. This time with a Higher Power. Meetings (4 a week), Big Book, I have a sponsor, do the steps and I do service. That is my program today. Every day I am the best person I can be. Physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally.

* * Missing 4 minutes of recording @ 3 minute mark. * * When I lost my abstinence I gained the weight. No amount of food could fill the hole in the center of my being.

My biographical timeline is marked by food. I was a secret eater until I got found out. Pay and weigh worked dramatically for the weight but not for the 'me' I left the dynamics I grew up with when I went to college, But I took me with me. Back to secrets. College went from 175 to 0ver 300. Now to work. 3 Continuous fears. Not getting what I want, Loosing what I have, or Being found out. As my fears got bigger, my world got smaller and I was 525 lbs. It was a year after I asked God for help before I got into the program.

Early on my life I learned how to keep secrets, and how to hate. Morbid obesity arrived in my 20s. While over 300 Lbs I was neurotic about what my son ate. I did not diet. Any weight adjustments were from changes in my activity. When I joined OA I resisted being told what to do. I lost 125 Lbs with very little recovery. Rich honest emotions are a gift of recovery.

Paul D from Seattle Annual suggestion to diet and exercise got me started, for a minute. At one time I was taken to the hospital - FOR OVEREATING 4 Cs crisis, clarity, colliding opportunities, commitment to a spiritual solution, A multitude of health issues should have given me a clue about my problem with food. I discovered Buddhism was the religion of moderation - Poof I'm a Buddhist. I have studied OA, read ALL the literature, completed the steps and got involved in service. I have sent a gratitude list to my sponsor for more that 1000 days. My abstinence is about foods, behaviors and thoughts. I had a list of things I wanted from my relationship to OA. They have come true.

6 Months before I came into the program due to my health I considered suicide. Prior to OA I had no idea of how my life had become such a disaster. Oatmeal chicken chicken was not for me. My addictive foods became VERY clear to me. Established my recovery right out of the Big Book of AA. I have to understand it is not about lunch. It is about a fatal disease. Today I am a healthy member of OA and society trying to do my best and be of service. I favor sponsors with AA background and their that approach to the Big Book. I turn to my higher power in times of stress rather than the food.

If I go back out I really will die due to my chronic health issues. A consistent food plan is my salvation. I share about my issues to let others know they are not alone. I have friends outside of OA and they are Real friends.

Over 350 when I graduated HS. On going pattern - Loose weight, have emotions, put it back. Complacency does not support recovery. When I had emotional pain in any form, food and sex really did help relieve it... for a while I no longer focus on the food, I focus on my surrender. Seems to work better.

My need for acceptance led me to some REALLY BAD choices. For me real healing must include abstinence. Three questions for offering help. I didn't come to OA to suffer, I came to be free. Today I am. My process or recovery was SLOWbriety.

My Dad locked food not knowing what to do with me. In college I had unsupervised access to all the food I wanted. * * Missing first 2 minutes of the talk * * * Diets and drama worked for a minute. I got to 12 step though my husbands' recovery. Real recovery is more than meetings and prayer. Terror, fear and hunger all felt the same in my body. Yellow light foods are really red light foods I am unwilling to give up.

I was born prematurely. That was the last time I was underweight. Growing up we showed love with food. I couldn't get enough love or food. I did lots of diets, They all worked for a while and only once. Every time I thought I was doing great it led to my doing poorly and then regaining my weight. I finally surrendered into the program over a can of oysters. At my highest weight I was using a cane. Any physical activity was a challenge. I recently played Basketball. Different set of emotional flooded me than I was used to.

My life was finding a way to fill the void which could not even describe. I fled from people who liked me because something had to be wrong with them. My eating kicked in when I gave up smoking. OA was not my first 12 step program. Any 12 step program started improving my life. Having a structured program works for me. I want freedom of choice but that did not work.

Black was slimming ... I thought The most important amends that I had to make, that took the longest, was to myself. Abstinence did not suddenly give me social skills. Relapse is part of my story. Acknowledging in allows me to help others who may be struggling and ashamed. My goals ended up being limiting. God had way better plans for me. I use tool every day. Defiance is still one of my character defects. Today my food plan and my lifestyle activities directly support my health.

Growing up alcohol was just liquid sugar. I was stealing food in first grade. As youngest of 11children I was in the 'who could loose weight' family competition in the third grade. I failed at anorexia and bulimia. Sugar was my 'drug' of choice. By 22 I was over 300 lbs Gained and lost over 100 lbs at least 6 times. Nailed the program. Lost weight, spoke, was a super hero for a moment. The message of OA is welcoming, supportive and available to all who want it. All excuses are accepted.

Black and white abstinence is the only thing the works for me. I don't do well with 'wiggle room' Nothing changed until I got a sponsor. HOW had the food plan I rejected/needed/accepted but actually led to weight loss. I needed the program much longer than I wanted it. Today I want it.

I was told Our built in freezer would kill me. I went in all the time. I used food to feel better. I used Alcohol to not feel at all. I would eat as if it was I was in a blackout. They said it's not about the food but I wasn't buying it. Even putting down the food did not make my life manageable. The more I try to control others the more stress I experience.

The disease gripped me in a death grip at age 30. I would binge on appropriate foods and lots of it. I came to OA at 33 and the welcoming made it not scary. I keep coming back, food continues to speak to me. I act on it by making a call. I lost weight but I also lost most of my crazy thoughts. and I have tools when they come back.

Tonight I will talk about the 12 Traditions And the principles behind each tradition. 'A great set of explanations connecting each tradition with its fundamental Principle'

Barb 9-9-88. My "in my disease" life was a minimal closed in reality. * Polly Q I spent years in 'white knuckle abstinence' It was not fun. and ended in relapse. Today my abstinence is all about my relationship with my higher power * Beth - Lost 140 LBS, Gained a modicum of sanity. * Amanda - Escape artist with food as my favorite tool My behavior was based on my addiction. I was advised to address 'what was killing me the fastest' It was not food at that time. * April In program a long time but in the background. 'I'm good thanks' Today my journey is about surrender.

In for 12, out for 12, back in 2009 to present. Clear precise abstinence makes is the only way it is possible for me to stay abstinent. I had a Loose/tight problem. I had to Loosen up in some areas and tighten up in others. How I eat today is largely influenced by how I ate yesterday. 80/20 God/me. In reality my part is much less.

A Clear description of the intention and results from OA in his life.

Could not find clothes in Paris. I binged because I was ashamed of being fat. In OA I was a dishonest people pleaser. After a brief relapse I asked the scariest woman to be my sponsor. Certain foods became poison to me. I identified specific 'Alcoholic' behaviors to avoid. Kimberly goes through her experiences with the steps.

My whole life became about my loosing weight. and my family agreed. I have certain white powders which are drugs and toxins for me. When I finally got to OA, I dove right in (meetings, steps service) and my life changed. Who knew??? We end up lying to ourselves when we remember what food did for us and forget what it did to us.

Heavy as a child, bullied in school. I was a good dieter but it only lasted a minute. I actually had a accident while eating. I knew I was home at my first meeting. Knowing I was crazy was my first evidence of my recovery. T. R. U. S.T Try Really Using Steps and Traditions. I had the moment when there was nothing but God between me and the next compulsive bite. God was there and I stayed abstinent. I practice the principles (Steps for me AND Traditions for my marriage) in all my affairs.

Grew up in alcoholic family. I was paid in candy to keep secrets. By both sides. My mom took me to Weight Watchers. The catholic God had nothing to do with my life. I had to figure it out on my own. Food was my God. Loosing weight did not make my life beautiful. Tried OA @ 22 for 30 seconds. Got sponsor, she fires me, I fired OA, back to sponsoring myself. Weight and I ballooned, Health problems came on and I ended up wheelchair bound. Today I hear God in my heart louder than the disease in my head. Health stats are mostly back in normal ranges.The rest are getting there.

I know it kicked in around 5 years old. It was suggested that more will power would help me with my food misuse. Nahhhh Diet was the next answer. I went to my first OA meeting when I was 11. Eating Rehab in high school. Way to much talking talking talking. If you lost weight- you got my attention. Sponsoring myself led to relapse, weight gain, and more pain. Got a sponsor, took direction, had great results and took all the credit. . . relapse. Finally in 2005 I truly connected with the program.

I was hospitalized at age 6 from overeating, I was 65 years old when I entered OA. YoYo was me. I guess I'm not the only one. I had a lower body aneurysm that brought serious health issues. but I ignored it until I came into OA. I was known as 'The Sleeper' At Wendy's, at the movies, at the wheel. Weight training became an important part of my physical recovery. I committed for one year, After the year I did not want to go back.

I couldn't loose weight, even for $5000 dollars. Even my therapist convinced me I was different. I was NOT a dieter. Once in OA I never left. There really was nowhere else for me to go. I was full of anger. OA has released me from that aura. I even want the best for my Ex-husband - BIG Miracle. Today I can truly look at food as art, and not miss it as food. Really.

My Life in college was my personal brown out. Everything was dim and half power. Health issue had me stop sugar, flour etc. It did not go well. I went to OA because I recognized I had cravings. Embracing my feelings was a long time coming. I am still working on it.

I heard about OA from a speaker in another 12 step program. Surprisingly a boyfriend didn't fix me. For me, 3 meetings a week are required for my recovery to progress. Today my daily routine includes morning and evening rituals. My willingness to make ammends is now, When I get to do it is up to God,

9 years of not quite abstinent = Lying Change in recovery is not about pain, it's a about growth. I still don't like hearing "It takes time". I still send my food in, do service, make a ton of calls. It seems to work

Cheryl B 10 Min First time in program I got weight loss and little more. Anne T 20 Min Several periods of multiple year abstinence. I learned to binge on food in my food plan. result = 40 lbs.

**There is a missing 65 seconds after 1:30. ** This day 42 years ago was my first OA Meeting. Top weight over 400 lbs. Came into OA at 380. I was an Atheist and completely unwilling to be converted. By 16 years I was deep into relapse and terrified of being seen but went to a convention. For the last 15 years I continue to work the steps and improve my spiritual life.

Growing up in an abusive home, in college and grad school my best friend was sugar/candy. My life was one crisis after another. One is not enough including suicide attempts. I went from 88 lbs to 223 and everything in between for 40 years. I was having physical problems, labelled as obese and that got my attention, getting me into OA. Started out only willing to call my sponsor daily. Eventually I was gifted with abstinence. I have had the same body for 10 years and today I love it. I get something new every time I go the the AA Big Book. How could Bill Wilson know how I felt about my hopelessness?

I did food plans like I did diets. Today I do the program - the steps, writing, meetings, exercise, service, higher power. Seeing others who have lost 100, 200 300 pounds and more inspired me and helped me believe it was possible for me. I could still eat compulsively while on my food plan.

My food choices were based on convenience. MY convenience. The 12 steps clarified my defects which I had overlooked, denied or suppressed. I switched careers rather than address my overeating. Planning my food helps me avoid impulse eating. A single mistake is not a slip. A second time... let's talk. I have a daily 'quiet time'.

I ate lots but stayed thin through basketball. Eventually I got married and slowed down playing and slowly moved into obesity. I started the yoyo for years. There are some gaps in the recording and lost the last minute. I went to OA for a while. It worked so well I left. In my 70s I ended up morbidly obese with heart problems. This got my attention. My wife passed and I was alone and fat. I am back for 3 years, over 100 lbs lighter and involved. I am a literature junkie. Even some Non OA approved readings has been inspirational. The 12 steps exist in many spiritual

At 41 I had a wake up call with way dangerous blood results. I found I could mess up and if I told the truth you would still allow me at the meetings. Consistency in my program includes meetings, a food plan, a sponsor, calls and the truth. I carry food when I travel so I am in charge of what I eat. Daily basics every day.

Continuous member since Jan 24 1994 Abstinent from Feb 16. I have written for my sponsor every night over 4300 times. Resentment, remorse, rebellion, resistance cause me problems She offered a VERY clear analysis of how she uses the steps consistently.

In NYC following an acting career I was just surviving - I had to call back to California to find a meeting in New York. It took me more than a year to really accept the first step. One moment at a time, one day at a time, one step at a time OA had brought me a life of physical, mental, emotional and spiritual recovery. Today I have gratitude for all that has happens. Step 1-12 explained as what they mean to ME. No matter what happens, how I feel or what I resist I kept coming back

A marriage without ANY recovery was not working. I heard a speaker I had nothing in common with and identified with everything she said. Working the steps will GUARANTEE you will change. I have had the same sponsor for 20 years. AND I work with other members on specific issues.

** Due to technical diffuculties there is 7 minutes of sharing missing starting @ 8:29 Didn't know what eating regularly meant until I was in a foster home. Ate my way up to 440 Lbs. Today I have a routine for my food and my life activities. Miracles don't hapen without the footwork.

I was a compusve overeater in the fasion industry. When I got to OA I did what I was told. and it worked as long as I did it. I keep doing fourth steps (When told to) and they are always transformational. It is too easy to forget what works. That's why I have a sponsor. The program keeps me abstinent, the fellowship keeps the rest of me on track ...no matter what.