Fully Functional Parents

Buy it at Wegmans! It’s dog meat free! And sort your receipts please!!

An oldie but a goodie about our teenage bodies and my ex boyfriend’s love of Chicago!!

Are you a whiny baby about poop? And I’m wearing real bras now!!

And my dad is Ted Danson?!

But he’ll apologize to the Minecraft movie?! And pig masks!!

Another business opportunity for FFP!

My secret past! And a confession from Davey! Oh, and bums at the library!

Button fly forever!!

And I cry and David doesn’t !!

And I sideswiped a car today! And reluctantly left a note!

Identical twins: so much to consider!

Where did my Mom get that spindly asparagus?! And hunting for an egg and eating it right away!

You’re garbage! And you lie to everyone about it!!

Political analysis! And cops!!

And we finally settle the Hamilton College vs Colgate University battle!!

Stop saying that! Stop thinking pimps are cool!!

And Big Mommas House is Weird!! And Never Been Kissed?!

We’ve loved each other a LONG time!!

And a super refund!!

And Red Bull and vodka: the classiest drink in Bari!!

More talk of Ireland!! And then we’re done!!

And remember: I loathe Train!!

And we’ll be back next week with new content! Can’t wait to talk at you all again! Love you!!

We’ve been to Galway and now we’re in Dublin! And we know nothing about God!!

We are Rome! And we’re idiots who microwave metal!!

And stop driving like a jerk!!

The answer is probably yes!!

Cartoons!!

And making out with mustaches: gross!!

And who cares about pop culture? Davey’s parents!

It’s gut season, listen to our plan to change that!

And do drug addicts want to be in Corporate America?!

FFP parties hard with our amazing wonderful friends!!

Armie Hammer, what the heck, man?!

Gross public personal hygiene!!

And string cheese. And not apologizing!

Ranting about the Times again!

It’s actually a very good song!

Renters are the worst!!

And who has time to dust??

Lots of music talk!!

Who wants to go to Lily Dale?! And cops lie!!

And can you believe we are adults?!

David’s self conscious! But he has no mucus!!

And they’re in cars!!

And Alan Cummings is the British Pee Wee Herman!?

We’re saddened by this country, let our light hearted banter take over your minds!!

I didn’t leave the house all day!!

Lessons on leadership!! And the Waterboys!!! Heart heart heart!!!

Listen to us work it out!!