Fully Functional Parents

Will you still eat a meal after you find something gross in it? And why do animals stare??

David actually is really into politics… And doomsday scrolling on the New York Times!?

And let’s go communist! Why not?! It sounds PERFECT!!

Ladies room talk! And buying old stuff from the Buffalo Bills stadium: how far would you go?!

Our kids are going nuts and we’re tracking it! And our house is much nicer inside than out!

Male birds and their showy colors! And you should sleep more, you idiot.

And hand gestures are really quite stupid!!

Join us for the party of the year!

We enjoy another stranger’s bar mitzvah on YouTube! And I’m bad at using remotes! And David loves a lady in pearls!! (A rerun from our second season!)

And theme songs! And AI!!

And I love grandpuppies too! But I hate murderously Biden!?

Do it with us now! And promote our podcast. Share it with at least three people a week or DIE!!

And the story of Left Eye Lopez is sadder than I thought. Maybe don’t listen to this episode…

More LinkedIn lies! And what girls wear!!!

Rerun Saturday from our first season! Listen to that opening!!!

Why Enrique doesn’t take off that hat! And homemade chocolate treat?!

And we visit Canada! And it’s New Years Eve!!

David’s got one true love!!

A car chase witnessed only by me! And Dave and Leo go to the game!

And college kids being jerks to townies! And check out David’s company: Local Landmarks!! You’ll be glad you did!

And he’s gonna dominate!! Cause it’s as easy as it looks! And I miss Stratego! Anyone have it and I can borrow it?

Cause I can’t stop eating Chex Mix!! I can’t stop! And did you know I’m actually two people?! David fills my head with nonsense about how cool that is- and I eat it up!!

You decide! And will you ever come over for dinner again?

And I can’t wink back!

Not really but maybe someday?!

David screws up his job! Big time!!

I can’t handle the gossip! And how do you prepare for an interview? Well, first you PREPARE!!

Cause our kids grow up too fast! And enjoy it all! Cause our ancestors didn’t get the same chance. Learn about them and your family’s past, it’ll give you perspective and will scare you into a great life!! And yes, chocolates for Valentine’s Day!

And stinky crotches! And responding too quickly to a text!

And Presidents’ Day!! And wooden teeth!

And the butt silencer! Be careful, we talk like 5 year olds about bodily functions, you sure you want to hear this?!

A proposed art project! And David finds a treasure!

Ladies room gross outs, AirPods are a sign of a jerk? And holiday shopping is for the birds!

And judging bad drivers!!

David’s incredible bizness idea! Get in line, the wait will be worth it!

Work holiday parties abound!! And do we like em? Don’t think so!

And don’t think for one second that a Thanksgiving would pass without complaints about the food! And should we embarrass our kids? Yes! And no, you can’t chew celery to lose weight!

And no complaining about my complaining: garlic hands!!

I barely got out alive! And where is Thunderfingers now? And my mom killed my birds.

Would he not know how to do it otherwise? And gross findings on our lawn!

Thankful for many things! Not ALL things but many things!!

David is a recess monitor during a Category 4 hurricane! And Katie’s there too!

Catching puke, relationship coaching, the Lottery: we’ve got room to improve!

Female prison guards fall in love too easily! And once again, Billy Joel impresses!! First season?!

Let me tell you how it went!

And no complaining about my complaining: wife version!

And that time David’s parents wore Nix the Shiks shirts!

Using Jergens liberally! And no Xmas decor until AFTER Thanksgiving!!

Watch Nobody Wants This on Netflix! It’s good! And we know the number one stupid human sign! And David’s incredible mathematical theory!!

Why are people always abandoning their shoes?!