Fully Functional Parents

Don’t tell the record labels but we listen to covers a lot on this episode. Deal with it! Don’t shut us down!!

So many themes cause who doesn’t love a theme!!

And diss songs. We don’t get it!!

To buy candy!!

We’re going to dig into our past and let you listen to all of our archives! Here’s an oldie, but a goodie!

It was Cooper’s fault! And Donald Trump lets us eat cake!

It’s everywhere!!! And so are cars the color of diarrhea?!

Collecting crap! And are we living in the B cut of the movie Dave?!

The bane of our existence! And our kid is getting married in 8 years? And my dad, the hibachi chef?!

And I can’t stop laughing about you hearing us load the dishwasher, so I left it in! And bread pudding is not made by dumping juice on bread!!

Rerun Saturday! The lowest form of communication!

And more tales from Corporate America: pissing everywhere!!

And if you ain’t wearing titanium, it ain’t real!!

And wanna buy a pretzel shaped like the Statue of Liberty? It may be all we have left of liberty in this country!

Should I just buy bigger pants? Is that giving in and I just need to exercise more!? And being revealed as a crazy cat lady!

And work that thing outta your teeth!! (A rerun cause the Bills lost and I don’t feel like talking to anyone.)

A double episode weekend special! Because David knows what our Bills must do. And some sad news about David’s favorite hobby…

We argue about dozing off while lying in bed. Boy, you’re gonna be happy to listen to this!

The freak out when the snow comes!! And teens driving!

Will you still eat a meal after you find something gross in it? And why do animals stare??

David actually is really into politics… And doomsday scrolling on the New York Times!?

And let’s go communist! Why not?! It sounds PERFECT!!

Ladies room talk! And buying old stuff from the Buffalo Bills stadium: how far would you go?!

Our kids are going nuts and we’re tracking it! And our house is much nicer inside than out!

Male birds and their showy colors! And you should sleep more, you idiot.

And hand gestures are really quite stupid!!

Join us for the party of the year!

We enjoy another stranger’s bar mitzvah on YouTube! And I’m bad at using remotes! And David loves a lady in pearls!! (A rerun from our second season!)

And theme songs! And AI!!

And I love grandpuppies too! But I hate murderously Biden!?

Do it with us now! And promote our podcast. Share it with at least three people a week or DIE!!

And the story of Left Eye Lopez is sadder than I thought. Maybe don’t listen to this episode…

More LinkedIn lies! And what girls wear!!!

Rerun Saturday from our first season! Listen to that opening!!!

Why Enrique doesn’t take off that hat! And homemade chocolate treat?!

And we visit Canada! And it’s New Years Eve!!

David’s got one true love!!

A car chase witnessed only by me! And Dave and Leo go to the game!

And college kids being jerks to townies! And check out David’s company: Local Landmarks!! You’ll be glad you did!

And he’s gonna dominate!! Cause it’s as easy as it looks! And I miss Stratego! Anyone have it and I can borrow it?

Cause I can’t stop eating Chex Mix!! I can’t stop! And did you know I’m actually two people?! David fills my head with nonsense about how cool that is- and I eat it up!!

You decide! And will you ever come over for dinner again?

And I can’t wink back!

Not really but maybe someday?!

David screws up his job! Big time!!

I can’t handle the gossip! And how do you prepare for an interview? Well, first you PREPARE!!

Cause our kids grow up too fast! And enjoy it all! Cause our ancestors didn’t get the same chance. Learn about them and your family’s past, it’ll give you perspective and will scare you into a great life!! And yes, chocolates for Valentine’s Day!

And stinky crotches! And responding too quickly to a text!

And Presidents’ Day!! And wooden teeth!

And the butt silencer! Be careful, we talk like 5 year olds about bodily functions, you sure you want to hear this?!