Fully Functional Parents

An Oldie but a Goodie!

Our next business opportunity!

Arrowheads everywhere!!

An oldie but goodie cause we’ve been too busy to be funny!!

Collectibles!

And save those dollars! You don’t need to buy things!!

And I’m looking at your thumb!!

Not funny but it’s something!

And a big ass bag under my eye?!

And we went camping!

Doing good! Not well.

Clickbait: jail breaks! And innuendo that just doesn’t need to happen!

And my mom on motorcycles?! And despite what David says, Elios is horrendous!!

We debate MD vs PhD! And David’s friends are misfits!

Drinking 42N and regretting it!

An award winning podcast? Screenwriters? Power Walkers? What CANT FFP Do?! Oh, and we’re in a band!!

And get ready future daughter in law, I’m gifting you my negligee!

And writing hate notes in the carpet!

Some oldies for you!!

A Mother’s Day hike in sewage!

A very very heartfelt message! It’s better than a card!

Lies we tell!!

Comb overs! David’s dad! Being a stenographer!

And garage sale hoodies and not saluting the military?!

So much to learn and David’s learned it all!

When should we all cut our losses and get out? never? Now?!

Some stupid horror stories!

Those skinny legs?! And Disney! What’s up with Disney?!

And the Lunch Lad is practical and reasoned with his charges!!

Catcalling, singing about sex and Daniel will do anything!

Buy it at Wegmans! It’s dog meat free! And sort your receipts please!!

An oldie but a goodie about our teenage bodies and my ex boyfriend’s love of Chicago!!

Are you a whiny baby about poop? And I’m wearing real bras now!!

And my dad is Ted Danson?!

But he’ll apologize to the Minecraft movie?! And pig masks!!

Another business opportunity for FFP!

My secret past! And a confession from Davey! Oh, and bums at the library!

Button fly forever!!

And I cry and David doesn’t !!

And I sideswiped a car today! And reluctantly left a note!

Identical twins: so much to consider!

Where did my Mom get that spindly asparagus?! And hunting for an egg and eating it right away!

You’re garbage! And you lie to everyone about it!!

Political analysis! And cops!!

And we finally settle the Hamilton College vs Colgate University battle!!

Stop saying that! Stop thinking pimps are cool!!

And Big Mommas House is Weird!! And Never Been Kissed?!

We’ve loved each other a LONG time!!

And a super refund!!

And Red Bull and vodka: the classiest drink in Bari!!