Youth Culture Today with Walt Mueller

If you remember back to your own adolescent years, you probably remember how your emotions were at times like a roller-coaster. One minute you were happy. The next minute you were sad. Sure it differs from person to person and day to day, but those of us who work with or are raising kids know that teenagers can be up and down. A new survey from the Gallup organization has looked at the emotions of today’s ten to eighteen year olds, specifically asking them about the emotions they felt during the prior day. Overall, ninety-four percent say they had experienced happy emotions at some point during the prior day. Forty-five percent said they had felt stress. Thirty-eight percent report feeling anxiety, and twenty-three percent experienced sadness. Not surprisingly, these percentages were all higher for our girls than for our boys. Parents, be aware that your kids are experiencing a spectrum of emotions, and before giving them guidance and direction, take time to listen and to understand.

A Reddit user recently threw out this question to school teachers: “What screams ‘I have unlimited screen time’ in students?” Their answers give insights and warnings parents should hear and heed regarding digital addiction, distraction, attention deficit trait, relational breakdown, cognitive decline, the power of influencers, desensitization, and more. One second grade teacher responds, “I hear kids saying ‘my hand hurts’ while they are trying to write just one paragraph or cut out a square with scissors.” Another teacher says, “The kids don’t know what to do with themselves without an iPad.” Finally, one teacher says, “Watch how they act when their access to computers, phones, and ipads is cut off. We had a major internet outage, no signal, no wifi. The kids with decent parents groaned, pouted for a minute, and found something else to do. The kids with unlimited screen time had a complete meltdown for hours.” Parents, take note. Be a decent parent who sets borders and boundaries.

Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE) is a degenerative brain disease found in those who have had repetitive brain trauma, which cannot be diagnosed accurately until one’s brain is examined after death. Looking back over the histories of deceased athletes, researchers have discovered that there are cases of CTE in athletes who never experienced a concussion. A connection has now been made between higher odds of developing CTE as a result of the number and strength of non-concussive head impacts experienced over one’s lifetime, also known as subclinical traumatic brain injuries (TBI), which typically show no immediate signs or symptoms. It’s not a single injury that causes the disease, but instead accumulation of microtrauma from thousands of hits over years. Parents, many of these unseen TBI’s take place in youth sports where the brain is developing and most vulnerable. Parents, you are called to steward the God-given safety of your kids bodies and brains!

One of the many new time-taking activities afforded to us by our ever-present smartphones is scrolling through online videos and reels. If you only take into account the YouTube video platform, about three-point-seven million new videos are uploaded every day. Talk about a rabbit-hole! Add to that Instagram and tiktok videos, and we could spend a lifetime looking at people scaring other people, people trying to back boats down boatramps, and cats doing whatever silly stuff cats do. A new study published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology has found that swiping through online videos to relieve boredom may actually make people more bored and less satisfied or engaged with the content. This is caused primarily by our habit of digital switching, or watching only short snippets rather than complete videos. What would happen if rather than engaging in this digital switching, we invested our time engaging with real-life family and friends? Would that relieve our boredom?

All teenagers face great temptation. All teenagers make sinful choices that are at times devastating to themselves and to others. It’s who we are as broken human beings. But here’s some great advice for parents: The most important factor in determining whether that bad choice turns into a situation that gets better or worse is parental response. What would happen if your goal would be to redeem these situations by turning a mistake into an opportunity for your teenager to become a more Christ-like person? I am constantly reminded of my responsibility to treat my sinful children the way my heavenly Father treats me when I’m the offending party – because there isn’t a day that goes by when I’m not. I learned a great lesson from Dr. John White when he was asked how he’d learned to relate to his own son’s rebellious and sinful choices. Dr. White said he’s learned to live his life according to this simple and profound principle: “As Christ is to me, so must I be to my children.”

If you don’t think that marketing to kids and concerns about body image aren’t having an impact on children when they are of elementary school age, think again. Thanks to kids using smartphones and gaining access to TikTok and YouTube influencers, even pre-pubescent girls are concerned about the effects of aging on their skin. Consequently, many are spending large amounts of their parents’ money and huge amounts of time on high-end skin care products and routines including moisturizers, masks, mists, and cleansers. It’s gotten to the point that this is what a growing number of our pre-teen girls are asking for on their birthday gift lists. We should be concerned about their susceptibility to marketing and peer pressure, the promotion of vanity, and the resulting cost both financially and in terms of stress and anxiety. But we also need to be concerned about the growing body of evidence showing that these things are causing short and long term damage, including burns, rashes, and other allergic reactions.

Have you ever thought about how to best teach your kids about the proper balance between faith and works? In First Peter two ten we read that God has shown us great mercy and grace by giving us new life in Christ and calling us into God’s family. But we tend to forget that as God’s people we are now sojourners and exiles in this world, Peter goes on to tell us to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against the soul. Our commitment to good works and God-honoring behavior is to flow out of the gratitude we have for the gift of our salvation. Perhaps these words from Charles Spurgeon are words you can absorb into yourself, and pass on to your kids. Spurgeon writes, “Good works must be in the Christian. They are not the root, but the fruit of his salvation. They are not the way of the believer’s salvation, they are his walk in the way of salvation.” Parents, nurture your kids in ways that lead them to understand that true growth bears good fruit!

In a recent article in USA Today, dermatologist Dr. Brooke Jeffy talks about the recent obsession among Gen Z with getting Botox injections to correct perceived cosmetic flaws. Concerned about starting to look old, these young people are getting hammered with social media posts and videos that are fueling their anxiety about aging, and promoting Botox as a remedy for their concerns. Dr. Jeffy says that it’s mostly not necessary and just a real source of anxiety. She continues, “Oftentimes they’re moving their face and we don’t even see wrinkles, but this is what they’re afraid of.” A recent survey by the American Academy of Facial and Plastic Reconstructive Surgery says that close to three out of four plastic surgeons report an increase in the number of patients under the age of thirty requesting these treatments. The reality is that aging is a consequence of humankind’s sin, and no injection can fill a facial wrinkle or hole in the soul in ways that satisfy. Only Jesus can.

The folks at emarketer.com recently released their list of Gen Alpha’s top coolest brands. Gen Alpha is that cohort of kids born between 2013 and now. These are the kids we call digital natives, as they have never known life without smartphones, and as a result, they are heavily influenced by the marketing and content they encounter online. The streaming services YouTube and Netflix come in at number one and two. At number three sits Amazon, which is also a place to stream content, but more importantly offers handheld access into the world of finding and purchasing just about anything, along with all the marketing that goes with that. While there are good things to be accessed on YouTube, Netflix, and Amazon, we also know that there is content we need to supervise, moderate, and even limit. And because each of these platforms market all kinds of product, we need to use them as an opportunity to nurture kids into stewarding their time and money to God’s glory.

Earlier this year, the American Bible Society released their fourteenth annual State of the Bible report, which is put together to track cultural trends in the United States regarding spirituality and engagement with the Bible. This year’s report shows some encouraging trends regarding Gen Z – those born between 1997 and 2012 – and their relationship with the Bible. The folks at the American Bible Society rightly report that we live in a busier and busier world, which leads many to put their Bible’s aside or never engage in bible reading at all. This has led to a decrease in Bible reading among the younger generations in recent years. However, this year’s report tells us that fifty-four percent of Gen Z adults, ages eighteen to twenty-seven, agree that the message of the Bible has transformed their lives. That’s up from fifty percent in the prior year. Parents, this trend is sure to continue if we each make regular time to read the Bible with our children, thus fulfilling our calling to nurture our kids in the faith.

The office of the United States Surgeon General recently released a report entitled, “Parents Under Pressure: The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Mental Health and Well-Being of Parents.” In his introduction to the report, Surgeon General Murthy writes these words: “Raising children is sacred work. It should matter to all of us.” Of course, those of us who understand God’s design for the family and the role we are to play in the nurture of our children know this to be true. Murthy goes on to write these words: “The work of parenting is essential not only for the health of children but also for the health of society. Additionally, we know that the well-being of parents and caregivers is directly linked to the well-being of their children.” Murthy’s words capture the truth of a principle we all must understand: that our role is primary, and that we pass on to our kids who it is that we are. Parents, if you desire your children to be faithful followers of Jesus, you must be that yourself!

When you were growing up, how many times did you hear your parents begin a sentence with these words: “When I was your age. . .” What usually followed was some kind of revelation comparing the relative ease of teenage life in your world, with the unimaginable difficulties your parents faced during their own adolescence. This includes the stereotypical account of walking ten miles to school in sub-zero weather and three feet of snow. Recently, Pew Research asked parents, “compared with twenty years ago, do you think being a teenager today is harder, easier or about the same?” Nearly seven out of ten parents say that it’s harder today, than it was twenty years ago. When asked about what has made it harder, it’s not surprising that social media and technology are what sit at the top of the list. It’s good that we’re waking up to this fact. It will be even better if we fulfill our God-ordained parenting responsibility by establishing borders and boundaries on all things technology.

In a recent article in the Harvard Business Review, Kelsey Hansen writes about social media addiction as something that her younger self struggled with, even though at the time she didn’t realize just how addicted she was becoming. She confesses to noticing that her attention span and mental capacity were suffering. She’d be working on her school assignments, but constantly and repeatedly interrupting her work, checking on her social media accounts. She cites Max Fisher’s book on the designed addictiveness of social media, titled “the Chaos Machine: the Inside Story of How Social Media Rewired Our Minds and Our World”: Fisher talks about how social media platforms are designed to trigger a dopamine release in our brains. He writes, “Dopamine creates a positive association with whatever behaviors prompted its release, training you to repeat them.” This applies even to self-destructive behaviors. Parents, set borders and boundaries, and teach your kids to redeem their time.

Much of the research on kids and play indicates that our children and teens are spending more and more time involved in sedentary activity, and less time engaging in active play. It should come as no surprise that engaging the God-given gift of play will result in good outcomes both now and for the rest of their lives. The folks at project play tell us that the benefits of childhood physical activity are many. Kids are one-tenth as likely to be obese. They score up to forty percent higher on test scores. They are less likely to smoke, use drugs, and get pregnant. They are fifteen percent more likely to pursue higher education. They experience fewer mental health problems. As adults, they will grow up to experience fewer health issues including heart disease, stroke, cancer, and diabetes. And, they will be more productive at work. Parents, God has given you the responsibility to raise children who are spiritually, relationally, emotionally, and physically healthy. Get them playing!

All this week we’ve been looking at some strategies for reducing the stress you may be feeling as a parent. This comes in response to the recent Surgeon General’s advisory on Parents Under Pressure, and the fact that forty-one percent of parents say that they are so stressed they cannot function. My suggestion for you today is this: develop habits and rhythms of running to God and His Word. Do you realize that God is your faithful protector? We know that there are many challenges and problems facing our kids today, and these do cause us stress and anxiety. But Jesus tells us in Matthew 28 that he is always with us. In Hebrews 13 we read that God will never leave us. In I Peter five seven we are told to “cast all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” The Psalmist says, “When I am afraid, I will put my trust in you.” Counselor Ed Welch reminds us that our stressors and fears tell us that we are alone. But faith says “I am with you.” Trust in the Lord, and teach your kids to do the same.

All this week we’re looking at some strategies for reducing the stress you may be feeling as a parent. This comes in response to the recent Surgeon General’s advisory on Parents Under Pressure, and the fact that forty-one percent of parents say that they are so stressed they cannot function. My suggestion for you today is this: make sure that you and your family take a regular weekly Sabbath. Take a few minutes to read the Genesis account of Creation. In Genesis chapter two we read that when God had finished his work of creating all things, he rested on the seventh day from all the work he had done. We read that God blessed this seventh day and made it holy, a day set apart from work. In Exodus we read the fourth commandment which instructs us to remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Our word Sabbath comes from the Hebrew word for rest. God has made us for a rhythm of work and rest. Break that rhythm and you and your family will begin to break down. Practice a regular sabbath.

All this week we’re looking at some strategies for reducing the stress you may be feeling as a parent. This comes in response to the recent Surgeon General’s advisory on Parents Under Pressure, and the fact that forty-one percent of parents say that they are so stressed they cannot function. My suggestion for you today is this: stop facilitating a family lifestyle where you are running around, as my grandmother used to say, like a chicken with its head cut off! I continually hear parents lament the fact that they aren’t able to even sit down for a quiet family dinner because of activity schedules, many of those activities being focused on sports, extra-curricular clubs, and a host of other time-takers. While these things are good things when held in a healthy balance, the way we schedule our families now is wearing us out! Much of what feeds this insanity is comparison, as we don’t want our kids left behind. But when good things become ultimate life-directing things, we’ve moved into the sin of idolatry.

All this week we’re looking at some strategies for reducing the stress you may be feeling as a parent. This comes in response to the recent Surgeon General’s advisory on Parents Under Pressure, and the fact that forty-one percent of parents say that they are so stressed they cannot function. My suggestion for you today is this: pull back on the amount of time that you and your children spend each day looking at screens. TV’s, computers, and smartphones have been around so long that we now know while there are good aspects related to the use of these tools, they are among other things addictive, they lure us into wasting time, they lead us into the unhealthy practice of comparison to others, they leave us feeling lonely, and they make us anxious. All of these aspects and others combine to fuel stress that’s toxic, while keeping us from those things that are most important. Quiet times with the Lord are sure to suffer. Parents, peel back in ways that release the steam that’s built up in your life.

A United States Surgeon General’s advisory “is a public statement that calls the American people’s attention to an urgent public health issue and provides recommendations for how it should be addressed. Advisories are reserved for significant public health challenges that require the nation’s immediate awareness and action.” In the past, you’ve heard us cite advisories related to issues facing our children and teens. But the most recently released Surgeon General’s Advisory calls attention to the current crisis of stress and mental health issues among parents! This new advisory tells us that forty-one percent of parents say that most days they are so stressed they cannot function, and forty-eight percent say that most days their stress is completely overwhelming compared to other adults, and this before the Covid-nineteen pandemic. I want to invite you to listen in all this week as we offer some strategies and suggestions for dialing down on the stress that you may be feeling in your home.

One of the most quoted figures in the world of the occult is Alistair Crowley, an early twentieth century writer and self-proclaimed prophet whose anti-Christian influence continues to this day. Perhaps Crowley’s most popular phrase is this: “Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.” Crowley taught and lived out a lifestyle marked by living under the sovereignty of one’s self, rather than under the sovereignty of God. In today’s world, Crowley’s dictum is made manifest in so many different ways, and it’s been adopted by those who have no idea who Alistair Crowley even was. Today, our kids are being encouraged to “be true to yourself”, and told to “you do you.” Is that really any different? Parents, your kids are growing up saturated in a cultural narrative that trumpets the self as sovereign. Teach your kids that a rightly ordered life is described by Jesus in Mark 12:30 where we read, “And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.”

The American Lung Association is reporting that while smoking conventional cigarettes and electronic cigarettes is on the decline among our children and teens, the use of non-combustible tobacco products known as “smokeless and spitless nicotine pouches” is growing in popularity. Thanks to marketing efforts and the viral nature of social media promotion, there has been a 641% increase in sales of products like Zyn, On!, Rouge, Velo, Juice Head, Zone, and Lucy. Research on these addictive nicotine delivery systems indicates that over a quarter of those who use them are under the age of 21. With nicotine sales limited by law to those over the age of 21, we must teach kids that God has given them the responsibility to obey the laws of the government. Finally, teach them that in First Corinthians 6:19 to 21, we learn that stewarding the health of their God-given bodies is not only their responsibility, but an act of worship.

I recently read a sentence in the First Things monthly journal that stopped me in my tracks. I went back and read it several times over. Eventually, I pulled out a pen and underlined it, knowing that it was worth going back to over and over again. I spotted the sentence in an article that regular columnist, Liel Liebovitz, had written about what it’s like to be a young person in today’s world. Liebovitz wrote, and I quote, that this is “a generation whose minds, hearts, and souls, are ravaged by a technological torrent that thrusts upon them more audiovisual stimuli per minute than the human brain can possibly process.” Let me read that again: this is “a generation whose minds, hearts, and souls, are ravaged by a technological torrent that thrusts upon them more audiovisual stimuli per minute than the human brain can possibly process.” Parents, what goes in through the ears and eyes of your kids will play out in their beliefs and behaviors for the rest of their lives. Are you paying attention?

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you are aware that debates have been raging regarding children and teens who say they are struggling with gender dysphoria. Thanks to social media and peer influence, more and more kids are announcing that their gender identity is something other than their biological sex. We can’t forget that all kids go through the process of identity formation, and with the transgender identity being touted as a legitimate identity option, more and more kids will choose to lean into that, especially those who are lacking in guidance and direction from loving adults. The good news on the secular front is that the research indicates that both the truly gender dysphoric and those who are choosing their identity thanks to the social contagion, will come to terms with their biological sex as they move through adolescence. Parents, don’t be quick to jump on the affirmation band-wagon. Instead, teach your kids that God in his love has created them either male or female.

My friend Luke Bobo recently wrote an article in which he encourages all of us to establish what’s known as “a rule of life.” Luke tells us that establishing a rule of life helps us to develop intentional habits that lead us to living a life of purpose and virtue. Luke gives us six recommendations that we can enlist and teach our kids regarding what it means to live by a rule of life. First, think God’s thoughts. We need to focus daily on reading God’s Word and journaling our thoughts and reflections. Second, work and rest. Do your work to the glory of God, and take a weekly Sabbath. Third, we need to feed our imaginations. Luke recommends reading two fiction books for every non-fiction book we read. Fourth, steward your body. We all could improve our diet and exercise routines. Fifth, take a sabbath from social media. And finally, cultivate your heart by doing a disordered loves inventory, seeing where you are worshiping idols and repenting of this sin.

One of the best guides for how to pray for our kids is the parable of the sower, which can be found in Mark four. As Jesus is teaching about the power of Gospel to transform lives, he uses this well-known agricultural parable to explain the different responses people have to the Gospel, based on the condition of their heart. You see, just as good soil is needed for a seed to take root and grow, so it is with our hearts. As we think about our children and teens, we must be praying that their hearts would be like good soil, softened and prepared in ways that will receive the seed of the Gospel, which in turn will result in the spiritual fruit that marks a regenerate life. And while we are to trust in God’s Spirit to do the work of faith in our kids, we have been given the parental responsibility to nurture our kids in the truths of God’s Word so that the soil is ready to receive and grow the seed. Pray for your kids, that their hearts would be soft, rather than hard, rocky, or filled with weeds.

I grew up as part of a generation that didn’t get excited about back to school shopping. All we wanted to do was make the most of each day of summer vacation, and a day or two dedicated to back to school shopping was an unwelcome and protest-sparking interruption. In today’s world, the great majority of kids love to back to school shop, as their clothing, water bottles, notebooks, and pens can be an avenue to fitting in with the peer group by sporting what’s most popular. Of course, this should always spark us to talk to kids from a Christian perspective about materialism, stewardship, identity, and marketing. But considering some of what’s being seen in the hallways now that our kids have been back to school for several weeks, you might want to laugh regarding today’s must-haves. The list includes old school 1970s era bic four-color pens, the 1980s trapper keep notebook, Crayola crayons, black marble composition books, and old school Texas Instruments calculators.

Do you remember cute little seven year old actress Drew Barrymore and her role in the 1982 blockbuster movie, ET. The Extra Terrestrial? Now a forty-two year old mother of two girls, Olive, age twelve, and Frankie, age ten, Barrymore is working like all of us to figure out how to navigate the world of smartphones and social media with her kids. After weighing the pros and cons, she decided to take away her daughter’s phone. A few weeks ago, she posted this on an Instagram post entitled, Phone Home. “I am writing in a very vulnerable way to put myself out there as a parent. And well, it’s personal for me. I wished many times when I was a kid that someone would tell me no. I wanted so badly to rebel all the time, and it was because I had no guardrails. I had too much access and excess.” Barrymore goes on to describe how she wound up institutionalized, which served her as a hard-core reset. Parents, are you willing to step in to cut down on digital access and excess?

The recently released U.S. Surgeon General’s advisory on the mental health and well-being of parents tells us that forty one percent of parents say that most days they are so stressed that they cannot function. Did you hear that? That’s four out of ten parents! At the end of the report, there is an action section which lists what parents and caregivers can do to reverse this trend. Three of the suggestions struck me as things that can happen in the context of our church ministries. First caring for yourself is a part of caring for your family. Are you sitting under the preaching and teaching of God’s Word, attending worship, and engaging in daily times with the Lord? Second, the report encourages nurturing connections with other parents and caregivers. Are you connecting with other parents in your church for fellowship, prayer, and support. Finally, empower yourself with information about mental health care. Are you going to the Scriptures to find rest and encouragement for your soul?

Back in the school days of today’s parents and grandparents, one’s thirst was quenched by a visit to one of a school’s many wall-mounted water fountains, and you sometimes had to wait in line! While bottled water has been around in some form since the sixteen-hundreds, it wasn’t until 1994 that Pepsi began test-marketing it’s filtered water brand, Aquafina. Now, single use plastic bottles are everywhere, and many schools have shut down the communal drinking fountain. Now, kids see their water-drinking habits as an opportunity to make an identity statement through personalized fifty dollar water bottles. Last year it was Stanley that reigned. Now, Stanley is so yesterday, with the Owala, Hydro Flask, and Lululemon bottles bringing the status. Parents, the water-bottle craze offers you a great opportunity for spiritual nurture, as you help your kids understand the push and pull of peer pressure, the influential power of marketing, and the need to find identity in Christ, and not a water bottle!

In his classic old book, “With Christ in the School of Prayer”, Andrew Murray offers us some sage advice that should spark our own regular self-reflection. It’s also advice we can pass on to our kids as we teach them to engage in self-reflection, both now and for the rest of their lives. Murray writes this: “The tone of my life during the day is God’s criterion of what I really am and desire.” What Murray was saying is that how I live moment by moment – the choices I make, the things I say, how I spend my time, and how I spend my money – all of those things speak loudly about who and what I worship. Regardless of what I might say, my life offers clear and unmistakable evidence of who I am and what I worship. I don’t know about you, but that causes me to pause and really consider whether I am truly endeavoring to follow Jesus Christ. Parents, your kids are watching you, and the tone of your life during the day will become their guideline for who they should be and what they should really desire. All of us must take up our cross and follow Jesus daily.

Today I want to speak to the mothers who are listening. If you know anything at all about today’s youth culture, you are aware that your daughters are facing tremendous body image pressure. As a result, all kinds of disordered eating have reached epidemic proportions among children and teens. If you’ve watched television, been on social media, or seen magazine covers you have a pretty good idea where much of this body image pressure comes from. But what many moms forget is that they can be a source of body image pressure as well. Every mother out there has been hammered by the body image pressure present in our culture. Consequently, your own words and example can actually fuel the same pressures in your daughters. In fact, experts at the Mayo Clinic say that Moms are probably the most important influence on a daughter’s body image. Mom, where do you find your identity? By finding your identity in Christ, you will help your kids to do the same.

Several years ago I began to notice ringing in my ears. Known as Tinnitus, I would describe my experience as souding like someone is blowing a never-ending high-pitched whistle in my ears. My issues come, I think, from listening to loud music earlier in my life. My concern for today’s children and teens has been fueled by a recent article in the BMJ Public Health Journal. A review of available evidence is showing that video gamers may be risking irreversible hearing loss and persistent ringing and buzzing in their ears due to exposing themselves to unsafe sound levels as they play their games. Wearing gaming headphones increases the risks. Research points to the fact that anything over eighty-five decibels can lead to hearing damage. Some video game sound levels can reach bursts of one hundred nineteen decibels, which is as loud as a bulldozer or motorbike. Parents, teach your kids to steward their bodies and hearing to God’s glory by turning down the volume.

How much money would you need to be happy? That’s the question The Harris Poll asked over two-thousand Americans over the age of eighteen from multiple generations, and the results are surprising, or maybe not. The survey found that almost six out of ten respondents think that happiness can be bought, and that the average person believes that they would have to have one-point-two million dollars in the bank to be truly happy. In addition, the average respondent thinks they would need to earn – fasten your seatbelt! – two-hundred-and-eighty-five-thousand dollars a year to be happy. What was most surprising to me was that Millennials, the generation born between 1981 and 1996, believe they would need to earn five-hundred-and-twenty-five-thousand dollars a year to be happy! Experience tells us the truth: that those who have a lot, are never happy and always want more. Ecclesiastes five ten reminds us, “Those who love money will never have enough.” Let’s tell our kids to pursue Christ and not money.

As he closes out his second letter to the Corinthians, the Apostle Paul writes this: “Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves.” Paul’s desire for the Corinthians is the desire we should have for ourselves, that we are constantly working to be sure that we are staying on course as we progress in our growth in the Christian faith. I recently read this great suggestion from Donald T. Williams. He writes, “Whenever I am tempted to think that my sanctification is progressing rather well, I ask myself the following questions. Do I yet obey Jesus the way he deserves to be obeyed? Do I yet trust Jesus the way he deserves to be trusted? Do I yet love Jesus the way he deserves to be loved?” As Christian parents, we need to constantly be looking into the mirror as our lives are illuminated under the truths of God’s Word. These questions are so helpful, and they are questions we must teach our kids to ask of themselves for the rest of their lives.

Not a day goes by when I don’t hear or see one advertisement for an online sports gambling platform. With the Major League Baseball season gearing up your local broadcasts will mention not only what’s happening on the field, but the odds on a host of things occurring in the game along with an invitation to put money on anything and everything. Add to this the promotions and bonuses for signing up, and it’s no surprise that our kids are drawn into online sports gambling through the apps. And, while there are age restrictions, there’s nothing stopping kids from lying about their age and getting involved. Parents surveyed regarding their concerns about the risks of online betting for teens ages fourteen to eighteen put debt, gambling addiction, a ruined credit score, and drug and alcohol abuse at the top of their list. Teach your kids that God has promised to provide for our needs. He doesn’t instruct us to gamble to get it. Rather, we are to work to meet our needs and to bring glory to Him.

Besides warning our kids about the spiritual and legal issues related to underage drinking, we must also warn them about the damage that underage drinking does to their still not-fully-formed brains. In today’s world, more and more kids are engaging in binge drinking. That is, consuming five or more drinks in a period of two hours. Researchers have now found conclusive evidence that drinking during adolescence can lead to structural damages in the brain that can easily result in memory and cognitive deficits that can persist into adulthood. In other words, drinking as a child or teen can effect the brain even if the person stops drinking as they go through life. Parents, talk to your kids about the dangers of drinking, and encourage them to be good stewards who care for their God-given bodies. Warn them about the dangers of exposure to high doses of alcohol during their adolescent years. What they choose to do now can and will affect them for the rest of their lives.

Kristen Jenson at defendyoungminds.com wrote an article entitled, Today’s Porn Industry: Five Things Every Parent Needs to Know. Parents, as you engage in continued conversations with your kids about the dangers and sinful nature of this horribly broken and addicting expression of God’s good gift of sexuality, keep in mind these warnings from Jenson. First, the porn industry is complicit with the sex trafficking of minors, rape, and pedophilia. Porn has become synonymous with sex crimes. Second, the pornography industry makes hard-core pornography available for free. If it doesn’t find your kids, your kids will find it. Third, pornography normalizes incest, racism, and violence to women. Fourth, the porn industry is a mainstream big corporate business. Yes, computer scientists, lawyers accountants, and HR execs are all a part of the scheme. And finally, the porn industry is doing all they can to deny the truth, to disinform, and to defame their critics. Parents, protect your kids from pornography.

One of my favorite memories of childhood was reaching the age where from time to time, my parents would allow me to sleep over at a friends house. I remember the joy of staying up late, watching movies, and eating pizza with a group of buddies. My kids experienced sleepovers as well. In today’s world, there’s a movement away from sleepovers that I think is warranted. We live in a world where we’re learning more and more about predators and sexual abuse. When a child is a victim of sexual abuse, ninety percent of them know their attacker. Half of those known abusers are family members, and the other half are acquaintances and friends. Prudence should cause us to err on the side of caution. The truth is that once kids are asleep, they are doing something they could also be doing at home. Now parents, are okaying what’s called “sleepunders”, where the kids get picked up at bedtime, or when their parents are done visiting together. Parents, don’t live in fear, but exercise wisdom.

The first question in the Westminster Shorter Catechism is this: “What is the chief end of man?” I have found that the answer informs all that we are and everything we do in our lives. The answer is this: “To glorify God and enjoy Him forever.” Everything we do in life is an act of worship, and everything we do in life should be done to glorify God. This includes how we drive. This should cause us to think about the speed we drive, how we react to and interact with other drivers, and how we respond to traffic jams and slowdowns when we are in a hurry. Parents, as the one’s who train our kids to drive, it’s about more than how to operate an automobile. New findings from the 2023 Drowsy Driving Survey from the National Sleep Foundation found that one in six teens report driving drowsy during their first two years behind the wheel, and most believe that drowsy driving is not as dangerous while driving drunk or distracted. Parents, this is an aspect of driver training we mustn’t avoid.

In the past, you’ve heard me mention the results of initial research regarding the difference between reading text on a printed page, versus reading text on a screen. Researchers found that there is a fundamental difference between the two, as eye scans show that those who read on the printed page read line by line, and those who read on a screen tend to skip over text while looking for keywords. A new study looked at screen and print reading differences among children ages ten to twelve, that three year period which is most critical in reading development. This is the time when students shift from learning to read, to reading to learn. The initial findings indicate a greater depth of processing when reading from the printed page. Deeper comprehension and deeper learning occur. Since more and more kids are reading off screens, this could indicate the declines in text comprehension skills of thirteen year olds. Parents, don’t throw out the books. And most of all, keep your kids reading printed Bibles.

Why do so many parents tiptoe gingerly around their children in today’s world? More and more parents are afraid to step up, take the reins, and assume their God-given position of authority. Instead, parents have become like butlers, available to wait on and serve their kids’ every desire and whim. Fearing rejection, we sometimes go against our better judgment and God’s design to say yes when we should be saying no. God established the family with a pecking order. Those who are older and wiser are charged with the duty of raising, nurturing, and protecting those who are young and not-so- wise. In other words, parents are to parent their children. Dad, mom: you have a God-given responsibility to love your teenager, to guide them through life, to protect them from harm, and to provide for their well-being. This means that there are times when you will have to teach your kids God’s will and way by saying no. Parent your teenagers to the glory of God!

With the advent of the internet and online pornography, the male to female gap on pornography exposure and use has been closing. The latest research indicates that fifty-seven percent of females ages fourteen to eighteen have viewed pornography. Pornhub states that over one-third of their global viewership was female in 2022, which is an increase of fifty-one percent since 2014. A survey conducted by the she recovery.com pornography support site for women offers up some sobering statistics on age of first exposure. Over eleven percent of the female respondents said they were first exposed to pornography at seven years old or younger, and forty-seven percent said their first exposure was between eight to twelve years old. By the time they were seventeen, over three-quarters had viewed pornography. We need to teach our kids to avoid the undoing that comes with viewing fallen expressions of God’s good gift of sex and sexuality. Parents, teach your kids from a young age.

There are two phrases in Scripture that we must pay attention to, understand, and teach to our kids. They are, “In this life”, and “In the end.” These two phrases are so helpful in giving us a proper perspective on the difficult things we will face in this world. When we read the Bible we learn that in this life there will be pain, sorrow, disease, discord, decay, death, and a host of other realities. This life is filled with all kinds of things as a result of human sin and the world not being the way its supposed to be. Be we do not live as those who have no hope. You see, in the end will be the glorious restoration of all things to the way they are supposed to be. And so, we will find ourselves living now with both heartache and hope as we groan with all creation for that day when our mourning will be turned into dancing! Are you teaching your kids to live their lives in light of eternity? Or, are you leaving them to a cultural narrative which encourages them to live as they wish for the moment?

One of the greatest gifts I received in my life was the gift of an active and involved father. My father not only took the time to be around and spend time with me, but to teach me about Jesus and what it means to live with Christ as the Lord of my life. Those were great benefits to having a loving and involved father. But there’s more! Researchers tell us that when a dad gets involved in his child’s life, that child will learn more, perform better in school, and exhibit healthier behavior. Children with involved dads have fewer emotional and behavioral problems in adolescence. Teens who feel close to their dads grow up to have healthier marriages. And girls who have a strong relationship with their dad during their teenage years move into adulthood without as many psychological issues and distresses. Dads, your heavenly father has given you the gift of your children. He has also given you to them as a gift. Love your children as you’ve been loved by your heavenly father.

The Bible speaks from beginning to end about the presence and benefits of suffering. James tells us that we’re to “consider it all joy whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance,” which then leads to maturity. The teenage years bring difficulty for both teenagers and their parents. As a result, we can experience the joy of going deeper with God and depending on him during the challenges of adolescence. We’ve learned that the harder the difficulty, the deeper God is taking us. He wants us at the place where we drop our arms to our sides, look to him in desperation, and then confess, “Ok Lord, I’ve got nothing.” Suffering is a process God uses to refine us and our kids into His image and likeness. If we had to do it all over again as parents, would we change the circumstances that led us to suffering and helplessness? Absolutely not! It’s been a gift that’s taken us deeper in our dependence on Him.

In our good and necessary efforts to teach our kids God’s good creational design for sexuality and gender, I’m afraid that we can oftentimes unintentionally leave our kids less than compassionate towards those who are struggling with sex and gender confusion, or who are choosing to believe and live into the current cultural narrative. One of the things I tell parents is that we do not have a good history of treating those who believe and behave differently in ways that Christ would treat them. A recent survey found, not surprisingly, that self-identifying bisexual, gay, and lesbian Americans report higher rates of bullying than those who are heterosexuals. Thirty-five percent of heterosexuals report being bullied during their teen years, while fifty-six percent of gay or lesbian, and sixty-two percent of bisexuals report being bullied as teens. We must teach our kids to recognize sin, but to also be compassionate to all of God’s divine image-bearers.

Ever since teenage drug abuse ramped up in the nineteen sixties, schools, mental health professionals, the government, and parents have all been working to stem the tide of abuse and addiction. One of the greatest concerns has been the very real risk of death from drug overdose. I’m guessing that all of us have been touched by overdose death, perhaps in our families or circle of friends. Sadly, the latest research tells us that drug overdose deaths among teens more than doubled between twenty nineteen and twenty twenty, and this, in spite of the fact that there was also a decline in teen drug use. We also know that Fentanyl is now involved in at least seventy five percent of teen overdose deaths. With drug suppliers now mixing fentanyl in with other drugs, we need to exercise greater diligence in warning our kids about drug abuse. Pray that your teens would have a heart bent on following God, and that He would spare them from the scourge of illicit drugs.

I’ve always been fascinated by reports that deliver data on how values, attitudes, and behaviors have changed from one generation to another. The American Enterprise Institute recently released a report that had some discouraging and some encouraging news. For my generation of baby-boomers, fifty-four percent, reported drinking alcohol or smoking pot or cigarettes occasionally during their teen years. For Gen Z, born between 1997 and 2012, that number has decreased to thirty-two percent. This is encouraging news that should drive us to keep our prevention efforts moving forward. The discouraging news is that while seventy one percent of Baby Boomers attended religious services during their teen years, that number has dropped to fifty-two percent for those from Gen Z. Parents, our greatest desire for our kids is to see them grow up to become faithful followers of Jesus Christ. Being an active member of a church should be part of their teen experience.

Over the course of the last couple of years, I, like you, have seen countless television commercials for law firms inviting viewers to engage in lawsuits for a variety of causes, many times because of exposure to contaminants at Camp LeJeune, or for illnesses like Mesothelioma. I’ve often times turned to my wife to tell her that we are not far from seeing the same kinds of ads pop up for those who were encouraged and perhaps forced into gender transitioning steps by parents, medical doctors, educators, and others. The reality is that several suits are now in progress, and there are law firms working to announce their willingness to represent detransitioners who want to sue those who lied about the dangers of these medical interventions. Parents, this reminds us of our need to not only advocate for our kids with sensibility, but to do so from a biblical perspective. At creation, God made two genders, and he has created all people to live into the gender that was given at conception.

For our kids, especially our girls, there is an ever-present pressure causing them stress and anxiety that is undermining their mental and physical health. The pressure I’m talking about is the pressure they feel to conform their body shape and weight to appearance standards that value thinness as the passport to acceptance. Because this pressure is so strong during adolescence, our teens are vulnerable to not only feeling the pressure, but trying to answer the pressure by enlisting the dangerous practice of using weight-loss products. Over six percent of American teens report using a weight-loss product in the last thirty days, with instances that are higher among girls. Researchers say there’s a correlation between the use of these products in girls with low self-esteem, parental influence to lose weight, self-body dissatisfaction, and peer groups that value thinness. Parents, buffer the pressure by helping your kids value the development of their insides, rather than their outsides.