Youth Culture Today with Walt Mueller

Researcher Ellen Galinsky has released a brand new book about teenagers. It’s called “The Breakthrough Years: A New Scientific Framework for Raising Thriving Teens”, and it includes five things teens wish their parents and other adults knew about them. All this week, we’re looking at what Galinsky heard from teenagers. The third message she heard is this: “Don’t stereotype us.” Just like us, our teenagers don’t want to be pigeon-holed into stereotypes. For example, not all teens are anxious. Not all teens are addicted to their phones. And not all teens are entitled. If we label our kids in these ways we are setting the table for them to live into those stereotypes. As Christian parents, we need to not only recognize the unique ways in which they’ve been created and gifted by God, but their potential to live into God’s glorious and grand design for their lives, rather than some stereotype. Parents, get to know your kids for who they are as unique individuals.

Researcher Ellen Galinsky has released a brand new book about teenagers. It’s called “The Breakthrough Years: A New Scientific Framework for Raising Thriving Teens”, and it includes five things teens wish their parents and other adults knew about them. All this week, we’re looking at what Galinsky heard from teenagers. The second message to parents is this: “Talk with us, not at us.” As our kids develop through the adolescent years, their brains are moving from thinking in black and white terms, to being able to think more abstractly, which means their on the pathway to having fully wired-up adult brains, sometime during their mid-twenties. As parents, we need to avoid the temptation to continue to think for them, as if they are still children. Rather, we need to think with them so that we might then train them to think for themselves. As Christian parents, we want to prepare our kids for a lifetime of thinking in ways that lead them to glorify God in all areas of their lives.

Researcher Ellen Galinsky has released a brand new book about teenagers. It’s called “The Breakthrough Years: A New Scientific Framework for Raising Thriving Teens”, and it includes five things teens wish their parents and other adults knew about them. All this week, I want to look at what Galinsky heard from teenagers. First, teenagers say they want parents to “Understand our development.” I agree. We need to understand the different stages our kids go through as they grow. As Christians, we can see God’s grand and glorious design for human growth and development as amazing sequence of stages where kids mature physically, emotionally, cognitively, relationally, and spiritually. Gaining a working understanding of each stage gives us the ability to set realistic expectations for our kids, informs our approach to discipline, and gives us insights into how to most effectively nurture them in the Christian faith in age-appropriate ways.

If you don’t think that marketing to kids and concerns about body image aren’t having an impact on children when they are of elementary school age, think again. Thanks to kids using smartphones and gaining access to tiktok and youtube influencers, even pre-pubescent girls are concerned about the effects of aging on their skin. Consequently, many are spending large amounts of their parents’ money and huge amounts of time on high-end skin care products and routines including moisturizers, masks, mists, and cleansers. It’s gotten to the point that this is what a growing number of our pre-teen girls are asking for on their birthday gift lists. We should be concerned about their susceptibility to marketing and preer pressure, the promotion of vanity, and the resulting cost both financially and in terms of stress and anxiety. But we also need to be concerned about the growing body of evidence showing that these things are causing short and long term damage, including burns, rashes, and other allergic reactions.

The Genesis eleven story of the tower of Babel is one we need to pay attention to in our social media saturated world. In his book, This World is Not My Home, Mark Johnston writes that man’s motive behind the vast tower of Babel efforts was, as we read in Genesis eleven four, “to make a name for ourselves, lest we be dispersed over the face of the whole earth.” Johnston continues, “the Babel instinct in the human psyche has lingered on through the entire history of our race. From man’s attempts to literally build a name for himself by constructing great works of architectural genius, to his efforts to establish kingdoms and empires, human beings have tried to secure themselves in their world through all manner of tangible means. We try to build our own little worlds without God through our careers, achievements, families, and other things in the hope they will provide the security and sense of identity we crave.” Parents, teach your kids to find their identity in Jesus Christ alone.

As our culture continues to promote ideologies that leave so many questioning their gender and sexuality, it’s important that we as parents and the church continually remind our kids of God’s good and glorious creational design as put forth in Genesis one and two. God made humanity in His image, and He made us male and female, which is the gender binary so many dispute and deny today. Why should be keep reminding our kids of God’s Truth? A recent analysis of national survey results has found that one in four grade nine to twelve adolescents here in the United States report their sexual identity as non-heterosexual. Friends, don’t ever forget that the period known as adolescence is a stage filled with physical changes and lots of questioning. In today’s world, our vulnerable growing and changing kids are now given options beyond heterosexuality, or the gender binary of male and female. Provide the kids you and know and love with Godly guidance and direction.

One starting point in the process of leading our teenagers to faith and spiritual maturity is to face the truth about who teenagers are and the uniqueness of their life stage. We must constantly seek answers to these questions: What is their world like? What makes them tick? What changes are they experiencing? What questions are they asking? Why do they think and act the way they do? And while we ask those questions, we must never forget, as Eugene Peterson says, that “there are no well-adjusted adolescents. Adolescence is, by definition, maladjustment. And getting adjusted is a strenuous and often noisy process.” In addition, we must approach our task as parents of teens not as punishment, a problem, or a cross to bear, but as a wonderful opportunity to depend on our Heavenly Father, while teaching our impressionable teens to do the same. Parents, never forget that you have been stewarded by God with the gift of your children, and that you are an instrument in His hands!

I recently read a sentence in the First Things monthly journal that stopped me in my tracks. I went back and read it several times over. Eventually, I pulled out a pen and underlined it, knowing that it was worth going back to over and over again. I spotted the sentence in an article that regular columnist, Liel Liebovitz, had written about what it’s like to be a young person in today’s world. Liebovitz wrote, and I quote, that this is “a generation whose minds, hearts, and souls, are ravaged by a technological torrent that thrusts upon them more audiovisual stimuli per minute than the human brain can possibly process.” Let me read that again: this is “a generation whose minds, hearts, and souls, are ravaged by a technological torrent that thrusts upon them more audiovisual stimuli per minute than the human brain can possibly process.” Parents, what goes in through the ears and eyes of your kids will play out in their beliefs and behaviors for the rest of their lives. Are you paying attention?

There’s a growing amount of research pointing to the fact that smartphones and social media are undermining the well-being of our kids when borders, boundaries, and safeguards are not enacted. Recently, the American Psychological Association released a report on the science of how social media affects our youth, specifically looking at the risks associated with content, features, and functions. One of the opening paragraphs of the report says, “Platforms built for adults are not inherently suitable for youth. Youth require special protection due to areas of competence or vulnerability as they progress through the childhood, teenage, and late adolescent years.” The report warns that chronological age is not directly associated with social media readiness. In other words, just because a platform requires a child to be thirteen in order to download the app, that doesn’t mean it is safe and harmless. Parents, are you tracking with the data that will help your parent wisely?

The office of the United States Surgeon General recently released a report entitled, “Parents Under Pressure: The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Mental Health and Well-Being of Parents.” In his introduction to the report, Surgeon General Murthy writes these words: “Raising children is sacred work. It should matter to all of us.” Of course, those of us who understand God’s design for the family and the role we are to play in the nurture of our children know this to be true. Murthy goes on to write these words: “The work of parenting is essential not only for the health of children but also for the health of society. Additionally, we know that the well-being of parents and caregivers is directly linked to the well-being of their children.” Murthy’s words capture the truth of a principle we all must understand: that our role is primary, and that we pass on to our kids who it is that we are. Parents, if you desire your children to be faithful followers of Jesus, you must be that yourself!

When Jesus told his followers the parable of the Good Samaritan, he wanted his listeners to know that if they had embraced their purpose in life to follow him, they would then view anyone in need as a neighbor. They would follow in the footsteps of the Samaritan who gave everything in response to the wounded man’s need. Those who are followers of Christ are called to self-sacrificing lives of compassion. The message of today’s market-driven world is the exact opposite. Instead of looking out for others, we are to look out for number one. In this kind of world, there is a decrease in generosity and an increase in selfishness. In this kind of world there is less concern for neighbor and more concern for self. In this kind of world there is a decline in civility. In this kind of world we do anything and everything possible – including using people as means to our ends – to get ahead of anyone and everyone else. This is not who we are called to be. Lead your kids to show the compassion of Christ.

In his recent book, “The Anxious Generaton,” social psychologist Jonathan Haidt recommends that our schools ban smartphones. It’s a common-sense move that at the very least would answer the concerns of just all about all teachers regarding how smartphone presence has diminished the willingness and abilities of our kids to pay attention in class and to each other. In Norway, the ban on smartphones in schools has allowed researchers the opportunity to gauge whether or not a ban is helpful. The results are compelling. Banning smartphones has led to a significant decline in seeking out treatment for psychological symptoms and diseases. In fact, it’s a sixty percent drop! Educational performance improves. And, bullying has decreased significantly, with a drop of forty-six percent for girls, and forty-three percent for boys. While our smartphones are great tools when used correctly, we need to limit their use in terms of time and place, in order to facilitate our kid’s health.

All teenagers face great temptation. All teenagers make sinful choices that are at times devastating to themselves and to others. It’s who we are as broken human beings. But here’s some great advice for parents: The most important factor in determining whether that bad choice turns into a situation that gets better or worse is parental response. What would happen if your goal would be to redeem these situations by turning a mistake into an opportunity for your teenager to become a more Christ-like person? I am constantly reminded of my responsibility to treat my sinful children the way my heavenly Father treats me when I’m the offending party – because there isn’t a day that goes by when I’m not. I learned a great lesson from Dr. John White when he was asked how he’d learned to relate to his own son’s rebellious and sinful choices. Dr. White said he’s learned to live his life according to this simple and profound principle: “As Christ is to me, so must I be to my children.”

Living in a world where information comes at us at breakneck speed makes it almost impossible to know what to believe and what not to believe. This has been pounded home to us over the course of the last several months as we continually hear about fake news. As parents and youth workers, we must teach our kids how to discern what is true from what is false. We must also communicate the truths of God’s Word in ways that help them to walk the narrow road that leaves to life, while avoiding the wide road that leads to destruction. The Apostle Paul uses the word “trustworthy” several times in his New Testament letters. In each case, his use of the word is in reference to a saying that is true, and that is to be completely accepted and believed. Are you searching the Scriptures in order to know the truth that is not only to be accepted and believed, but that gives life? Then, are you sharing that with your kids? Teach your kids the trustworthy Word of God.

Parents, today I want to give you a heads-up and issue a warning which I hope motivates you to track with the latest developments in digital technology and the way in which these developments might undermine the well-being of our kids. You’re no doubt aware that Virtual Reality and the Metaverse here to stay and will be advancing quickly in the years to come. Based on the fact that online victimization of children and teens is a well-known reality in today’s digital world, experts are now working to catch and address what victimization will look like in the metaverse and through virtual reality. Researchers at Florida Atlantic University has found that a significant percentage of teens who engage with these technologies have reported encountering hate speech, bullying, harassment, sexual harassment, grooming behaviors from predators, and unwanted exposure to violent or sexually explicit content. Parents, you are the gatekeepers. Always monitor use, educate for safety, and set limits.

The prayers we find in the Scriptures are prayers that we can pray for our children and teens. In II Thessalonians 3:5, the Apostle Paul follows up his statements on God’s faithfulness and promised protection from the evil one with this prayer: “May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God and to the steadfastness of Christ.” First, Paul prays that God would “direct,” or “make straight” the paths of their hearts. We too should be praying that God would remove all the obstacles the evil one throws in the paths of our kids. Second, he prays that their hearts would be focused on the love of God and on Christ’s endurance. Like Paul, we should pray that our kids would not only be focused on God’s love for them, but on pursuing their own love for God. And, just as Christ steadfastly pursued and endured earthly trials and the suffering of the Cross, so too should we desire that our kids would grow in their faith to the point of persevering for Christ in the midst of great challenges.

“I had a simple rule for my kid. I now realize what a hypocrite I am.” That’s the headline over an article about kids and device usage written by Molly Mulshine, a young mother of a one-year-old. Mulshine begins by proudly telling readers that she never puts her phone in the hands of her child for the admirable reason that she doesn’t want her spending time on or getting addicted to a device. But Mulshine was surprised when that little one-year-old got ahold of mom’s phone, and in Mulshine’s words, “started scrolling and swiping with the muscle memory of a bored teen.” Mulshine soon realized that it was the example of her own addiction to her phone that was modeling exactly what she didn’t want to see happen to her own child. Mulshine offers up this question that all wise and concerned parents should be asking themselves: Will my excessive phone use make my daughter long for the sweet, lobotomizing glow of a high-tech rectangle, despite any screen limits I place on her? Parent, think about it.

I recently read through the report on teens and media from the University of California and found some thought-provoking data. The report is titled “Reality Bites: Teens and Screens 2024.” The survey found that when asked what adolescents most want to see in terms of content, the top content choice for ten to twenty-four year olds was fantasy, with over thirty-six percent ranking fantasy highest on the list. This desire to see fantasy increased from 2023’s twenty percent. When given a list of specific content topics, the number one choice was fantasy and other content that was hopeful and uplifting, showing people beating the odds. As I pondered these top-ranked desires of our kids, I couldn’t help but think that our kids are leading lives where there is a deep and desperate need to hear and see good news. And where else will they ultimately find what they are looking for than in God’s revelation of Himself in the Bible, and in a restored relationship with God through Christ.

A new report from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention looks at the issue of bullying in the lives of our twelve to seventeen-year-olds. The report defines bullying as occurring when “a person is exposed to aggressive behavior repeatedly over time by one or more people and is unable to defend themself.” More than a third of the kids surveyed say they’ve been bullied over the past year. Over thirty-eight percent of twelve to seventeen year old girls report being bullied, and just under thirty percent of the boys surveyed report being bullied. The report also found that bullying is more prevalent among twelve to fourteen year olds, at just over thirty-eight percent, and less prevalent among fifteen to seventeen year olds, at just under thirty percent. With bullying prevalent in today’s teen culture, we need to teach our kids to show the love of Christ to their divine-image-bearing peers, and we need to minister well to our kids who have been victimized so that we might build their resilience.

The other day I was driving down our local interstate highway and I found myself stuck behind a car that wouldn’t move out of the left lane. The driver was not only driving under the speed limit, but drifted to the left and over the line several times, then quickly catching themselves and making a course correction. When I finally had an opening to pass them in the right lane, I looked over to see if the driver was ok. While the driver was conscious, had a hand on the wheel, and their eyes were open, their other hand was texting on the smartphone that was holding their attention. I’m sure all of us have not only seen this from time to time, but have been tempted to do the same ourselves. Recent research from the University of Pennsylvania reminds us that we need to teach our kids to put the phones away while they are the wheel. Teens who use their phones while driving are more likely to engage in risky driving behaviors, including hard braking and rapid acceleration. We must all drive to the glory of God.

As the recreational use of marijuana has become more widespread, socially acceptable, and even legal in many states, the notion that smoking or ingesting cannabis products is actually harmless has spread as well. But a growing body of research is reporting on a variety of harmful effects from the use of cannabis. A new study published in the journal, Addiction Biology, is suggesting that using cannabis causes damage to cells, which in turn increases one’s risk for developing cancerous tumors. Specifically, researchers found that cannabis use damages the genetic information in a cell, which can lead to cancer and accelerated aging. And, with the modification of the DNA in a cell, a parent can pass on altered or damage DNA to their offspring, thereby increasing the risk of premature aging and cancer for that child. Parents, we need to raise our children well, doing all we can to enable them to steward the health of those bodies to God’s glory!

Australia has recently enacted some legislation that not only makes good sense, but models steps that should be taken by the rest of the world to protect our kids from harm and to provide for their well-being. What exactly has Australia done? They’ve passed a new law that bans kids from using social media until they reach the age of sixteen. The new law won’t go into effect for another year, but it’s rooted in the growing body of evidence, both from research and anecdotally, that the use of social media and technology is harming our kids by undermining their mental health and relationships in ways that cannot go unnoticed or unaddressed. Of course, there are many details yet to be worked out before the ban goes into effect. As Christian parents, laws like these help set borders and boundaries, but ultimately we want to see our kids make these decision on their own as they flow out of heart bent towards the worship of God.

I recently read through the report on teens and media from the University of California and found some thought-provoking data. The report is titled “Reality Bites: Teens and Screens 2024.” The survey found that that the number one reason young people ages ten to twenty four report for using social media is to escape and take their minds off of things. This is not at all surprising in light of all the recent talk about the declining mental health of our children and teens. Of course, human beings have always looked for and found ways to escape their pain, with most of these strategies resulting in anesthetizing themselves from the realities of life. Sometimes these lead to addictions. As long as kids are running to social media, we can expect more and more to become addicted to their devices. Let’s remember that a landscape of hopelessness is a landscape ready and ripe for hearing the truths of the Gospel. Are you telling your kids about finding peace and purpose in Christ?

Today we conclude our week-long look at what it means to entrust our children to God. To entrust our children to God is to completely entrust our children to God! While yes, we have been given the aforementioned responsibilities to tend, teach, and train, we cannot drag, push, or pull our kids screaming and kicking into the Kingdom of God. There is no guarantee that we will see the results that we want, in the way that we want, or in the time that we want. No, “salvation belongs to the Lord!” It is only the Holy Spirit, working in His way and His time, who will call our children to faith. We need to constantly remind ourselves of what I heard R.C. Sproul say on many occasions: “God has entrusted the ministry of the Word to us, not its results.” Our high calling is to be faithful and obedient. . . and to leave the rest up to God. Let me remind you once again, that there is no higher parental calling or privilege than to focus your time, energy, and prayers on leading your kids to love and serve Jesus.

All this week we’re looking at what it means for us as Christian parents to entrust our children to God. In First Timothy four, six to ten we learn that to entrust your children to God is to train them in righteousness. Knowing sound doctrine is a worthless pursuit if that doctrine is not translated into everyday living. Our parenting should be directed to the end of not just honoring God with our lips, but glorifying Him with our lives, as we learn in Mark 7:6. One way parents can teach this is to look for those everyday opportunities to employ what I call the World-Word-Walk paradigm. It starts with keeping your ears and eyes open to the current cultural narrative. What is the world teaching our kids? We point these things out and then examine them with our children under the light of God’s Word. Finally, we think and pray with them about how God’s Word is calling them to walk obediently to God’s glory in the midst of a world that teaches them to live contrary to the Gospel.

All this week we’re looking at what it means for us as Christian parents to entrust our children to God. To entrust your children to God is to teach them doctrine. Our children and teens are seeking answers to two basic developmental questions: “Who am I?” and “What do I believe” Thanks to smartphones and social media, culture is catechizing our kids around the clock. While they turn to their devices to make sense of life in the world, we must lead them into the life-giving Word of God, which is the only source of Truth. Deuteronomy 6:4-9 reminds us that we are to be intentional about constantly and diligently teaching them God’s Word, showing them how it speaks to all of life. Our approach is to be multi-sensory as we talk, sit, walk, lie down, and rise up with God’s Word on our lips and our lives. We teach sound doctrine by enlisting the tools of age-appropriate Catechisms, family devotions, and the everyday teachable moments that offer opportunities to pass on the truths of God’s Word.

All this week we’re looking at what it means for us as Christian parents to entrust our children to God. One of the most important things to remember is that to entrust your children to God is to tend to yourself. I love Tedd Tripp’s definition of parenting as “shepherding the hearts of your children in the ways of God’s wisdom.” It follows that the only way we can effectively nurture our children in the ways of God’s wisdom is to be constantly nurturing ourselves. The Apostle Paul’s words to the Colossians tell us that “therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving”. We can only lead our children to where we are. If you want your children to walk the road of discipleship and to love Jesus Christ with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength, we have to do the same ourselves. Take stock of your life, and ask God to show you where change is needed.

My fourteen-year-old self had gone to bed at my usual 9pm time. Two hours later, I woke up to use the bathroom. While walking undetected past my parents darkened room, I not only heard my dad whispering, but I heard him whispering my name. It was at that unforgettable moment that I learned that my parents’ bedtime routine included intercession on behalf of their three children. I had been blessed with parents whose only stated hope for me was that I would grow up to love, follow, and serve Jesus Christ. As Christian parents, our hope for our children should be the same. The good news is that parents always exercise the greatest influence on the spiritual lives of their children. God has established the home as the primary arena for spiritual nurture. This influence is effectively exercised as we entrust our children to God, which includes certain responsibilities that He has entrusted to us. Listen in all this week as we talk about how to entrust our children to God.

There’s some new data on teenagers and vaping that deserves our attention. Published in the journal Pediatrics, the data looks at trends in vaping behaviors among our eighth, tenth, and twelfth graders. Near daily vaping was admitted by one-point-seven percent of eighth graders, four-point-two percent of tenth graders, and almost eight percent of twelfth graders. When asked why they vape, the three top reasons are these: to relax and relieve stress was number one, cited by over seventy percent of those kids who vaped daily. Second on the list was experimentation, and coming in at third was vaping to relieve boredom. Other reasons cited include the taste, feeling good, convenience, and to have a good time. Parents, be aware that there are numerous health issues related to vaping. It is not safe. Take the time to raise your awareness of the consequences of vaping, warn your kids, and direct them to the Lord who promises to minister to them in their stress and anxiety.

A recent article in the UK’s “Daily Telegraph” newspaper is reporting on an online behavior happening over the pond that it is very reasonable to assume is happening here in the United States at the same or a very similar rate. Researchers in the U.K. have found that the majority of children on social media platforms like TikTok, Instagram, and Snapchat are lying about their age and date of birth in order to appear older and bypass age restrictions in order to get on the platforms. In fact, most children have never been asked by the platforms to prove or verify their age when signing up. The survey of children between the ages of eight and seventeen found that fifty-eight percent of kids on TikTok, fifty-two percent of kids on Instagram, and fifty-six percent of kids on SnapChat had a false date of birth on their profile to make them appear older. Parents, these age limits are there to protect our kids, and we must teach them to honor them. In addition, the Lord calls all of us to tell the truth and not bear false witness.

One of the most beautiful and telling aspects of the Genesis Creation narrative relates to the importance of relationships. In Genesis one twenty-six we read these words, “Then God said, ‘Let US make man in OUR image.” The God who created human beings as the crowning point of creation is a trinity, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. And out of that divine relationship comes the creation of those who God said later in Genesis 2:18, “It is not good that the man should be alone.” Relationships are a key part of our humanity. We are made for them, and it is reasonable to assume that without them, our flourishing and well-being are undermined. Because of that, it’s not surprising that scientists at the University of Cambridge have discovered that teens who spend time alone in their rooms, even while relating to others online, are actually isolated in ways that lead to excessive worry, feeling unsafe, and lonely. Your kids need flesh and blood social interaction. They’ve been made for it.

As Christian parents, we are called to raise our kids in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. We must be doing what we can to lead them into an adulthood that is spiritually, emotionally, relationally, intellectually, AND physically healthy. Their physical health depends greatly on how we teach them to steward their God-given bodies during their childhood and teenage years. One aspect of this that’s related to today’s youth culture regards caffeine intake. Are you aware, for example, that your local quickmart drink coolers are filled with aggressively marketed caffeine-infused energy drinks that appeal to teens? And, are you aware that ER visits due to eating or drinking too much caffeine have doubled among middle school kids, and almost doubled for our high schoolers between 2017 and 2023? Parents, we need to educate our kids on God-honoring matters of health and on the dangers of caffeine intake, along with setting borders and boundaries for their consumption.

I recently read through a report on teens and screens from the Center for Scholars and Storytellers at the University of California. I want you to hear these important words from the reports introduction: “An alarming proportion of today’s adolescents are facing unprecedented mental health challenges, and they are inundated with storytelling media that exerts a powerful influence. Media is more present than ever before, with many estimates indicating that youth spend up to nine hours on screens outside of school. Screens and the internet touch every aspect of a young person’s life – school, communication with friends, and leisure activities. Adolescents learn from these images and messages; thus, storytellers can and should be mindful of the social-emotional influence they have on the next generation.” Parents, are you listening? We have a responsibility to not only set limits, but to help our kids to bring God glory by thinking critically and Christianly about all the media they consume.

I recently read through the report on teens and media from the University of California and found some thought-provoking data. The report is titled “Reality Bites: Teens and Screens 2024.” There’s some good news coming from the survey regarding what our kids think about friendship and sexuality. In 2023, over fifty percent of adolescents desired content that focused on platonic relationships and friendships In 2024, that number had increased to over sixty-three percent! In 2023, just over forty-seven percent of adolescents said that sex and sexual content are not needed to advance the plot of TV shows and/or movies. In 2024 that number increased to over sixty-two percent. We can assume that our kids are longing for relationships, and the content they seek reflects that desire. Parents, lets go out of our way to teach our kids about developing healthy relationships with friends, about living out God’s good design for sex and sexuality, and for glorifying God in all things.

With the New Year upon us and resolutions being made here, there, and everywhere, let me suggest a parenting and family priority that all of us can institute in our homes with our kids. In the past, I’ve shared some of the data regarding the decline in reading among children and teens, much of that occasioned by time spent doing other things like scrolling through their phones or playing video games. You’ve also heard that there are negative outcomes related to reading less, including a decline in critical thinking skills, knowledge retention, and comprehension. New data from UNESCO reports that nearly half of kids ages twelve to fifteen globally cannot read with comprehension. They are unable to connect main ideas, understand the author’s intentions, or draw reasoned conclusions. Of course, this includes kids who do and do not attend school. Reading develops our God-given minds. Reading our Bibles grows us. Facilitate more reading for your kids in 2025!

A blessed and happy New Year to you! 2024 is now in the past and we look forward with great expectation and perhaps a bit of trepidation to 2025. Today is a perfect day for you to sit with your kids and talk about the days in which we live, the reasonable expectations we must have, and where to find our hope. I’ve gotten into the habit of using each and every New Year’s Day to pause and pray. I thank the Lord for another year. I ask his blessing on my family. I ask Him to protect us from harm and to provide for our well-being. And, because our world is filled with brokenness, there will be unexpected bumps in the road during the coming year. I ask the Lord to prepare me to handle whatever may come. Perhaps today you can share these words from Psalm thirty-three with your family: Our soul waits for the Lord. He is our help and shield. For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name. Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you.

“Be sure to look them in the eye and say please and thank you.” If you grew up in home like mine, you constantly heard those words from your mother as she was training you to be kind and polite in social situations. I learned that lesson well and hope that we were successful in passing it on to our own kids. New research from the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign has found that when family members show appreciation and gratitude to each other through saying “thank you”, relationships are strengthened and mental health improves. For married couples, showing gratitude to your partner improves relationship satisfaction and mental health. When a child expresses thanks to a parent, parenting stress is actually reduced. As Christian parents, we want to be sure to teach our kids that all good things come from God, including the gift of salvation. Point them to I Chronicles 16:34: “Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever.”

I recently read through the report on teens and media from the University of California and found some thought-provoking data. The report is titled “Reality Bites: Teens and Screens 2024.” As I was reading through the survey there was one bit of data that caused me to pause, and I want to pass it on to you. This question was asked to the ten to twenty-four year olds who participated in the survey: “At what age did you start using social media?” Now remember that the major social media platforms require users to be at least thirteen years old to create an account. The reason for this is compliance with the Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act. Remember too, that there is growing movement to keep kids off social media until the age of sixteen. So, how did respondents answer the question regarding when they started using social media? Fifty-one- point-five percent, over half, started using social media under the age of thirteen, with many at or under age ten. Parents, what about your kids?

It’s been said that when it comes to fashion and style, what goes around comes around. And, in one of the most mind-boggling recent fashion trends, today’s teens are proving this to be true. In a recent article in of all places Country Living Magazine, writer Katie Bowley throws this headline at us: “Cracker Barrel’s Grandma Sweatshirts Are The Newest Gen Z Trend.” Yes, you heard that right. Teenagers are heading to the Cracker Barrel gift shops and buying those sweatshirts embroidered with nature scenes and animals which arepopular with older. Thanks to promotion of the trend through TikTok videos hawking the sweatshirts as stylish for the younger set, Cracker Barrell has seen a seven-hundred percent increase in sales of the sweatshirts since the early fall. This sounds very similar to what happened a couple of years ago when the old school Stanley water bottles suddenly became stylish. This is a refreshing trend, as the sweatshirts are costing our kids the relatively low price of thirty dollars.

One of the best tools at your disposal for tracking changes in youth culture is the dictionary. That’s right, the dictionary. I say this because the rate of cultural change is now so fast that those who publish dictionaries are constantly removing words deemed irrelevant and no longer usable, while adding words that reflect cultural change. Earlier this month, the folks at the Oxford Dictionary actually named one of these new words, brain rot, as the word of the year for 2024. Oxford defines brain rot as “the supposed deterioration of a person’s mental or intellectual state, especially viewed as the result of overconsumption of material, usually online content, considered to be trivial or unchallenging.” The word was chosen to reflect what our consumption of excessive amounts of low-quality online content is doing to our brains, our relationships, and our lives. Parents, stop your constant scrolling and teach your kids to do the same. Let’s promote heart for God flourishing.

Since today is the day that we celebrate Christmas, I thought I would take some time to share one of my favorite Christmas scriptures. In the Gospel of Luke, we are told that eight days after his birth, Jesus was brought by Mary and Joseph to Jerusalem to be circumcised. While there, they took Jesus into the temple where an upright man by the name of Simeon took the infant in his arms. God had promised Simeon that he would not die until he had seen the Lord’s Christ with his own eyes. As he looks upon the Messiah, Simeon says, “Sovereign Lord, as you have promised, you now dismiss your servant in peace. For my eyes have seen your salvation, which you have prepared in the sight of all people, a light for revelation to the Gentiles and for glory to your people Israel.” I can only imagine the joy that Simeon felt. This Christmas, our desire for you and your family is that you will all rejoice with great satisfaction in the coming of your Savior. Have a very blessed Christmas!

Some of my greatest and most treasured childhood memories revolve around Christmas eve. In our house, Christmas eve was a time of great anticipation. Yes, we would be opening presents the next morning so there was certainly plenty of excitement about what would show up under the tree. The house always smelled great as my mom would be already working on preparing our Christmas feast by baking cookies and pies. We would play with the train set that only appeared in our house during the month of December. All of those memories are wonderful. But what I remember most about Christmas Eve was going to our church for the annual Christmas Eve service. It was there that we were once again reminded of the story of God’s incredible gift of salvation through his son, Jesus Christ. As you gather to celebrate Christmas, remember that your kids are bombarded by all kinds of life-shaping stories in today’s youth culture. Take time to tell them the one story that matters.

In just two days we’ll be gathering with family and friends to celebrate Christmas. This is the day when we celebrate the amazing grace of God in the gift of His Son, Jesus Christ, the Savior and Redeemer. I’m assuming that most of us will benefit from the reminders to not allow all the distractions of the season to keep us from understanding and truly celebrating the Incarnation. I know that I need to hear those reminders. And based on some recent research from the folks at Lifeway, we increasingly need to think about celebrating Christmas by gathering with others in our local churches to worship the God who became man. Lifeway has found that while nine out of ten Americans do something to celebrate Christmas, less than half now plan to attend church to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. Forty-seven percent say they typically attend church, forty-eight percent say they do not, and five percent are unsure if they will. Make sure you and your family gathers with others to worship the newborn King.

Today, we’re concluding our look at marketing’s influence on our kids. One result of the marketing push is that we’ve got a culture of kids locked into consumer debt. The message they get from advertising is that life is about consumption, and whether it’s their money or a credit card company’s money they are borrowing, they are entitled to spend whenever the urge hits them. Many of today’s kids will be buried deep in consumer debt long before they marry and start a family. Advertising and the materialism it fosters steers us away from the one true God and towards idols. They steer us away from Jesus Christ, the one and only source of redemption, to the false promises of other “messiahs” and redeemers. Today’s marketing blitz encourages our teens to create, pursue, and worship false gods, all the while leaving our kids more and more empty. Parents, what are you doing to point your kids to the cross?

Today we’re continuing to look at marketing’s powerful influence on children and teens. The glut of advertising to kids can lead them to understand life in economic terms. Each and every one of us, including our kids, has been created by God, for God, and to be in a relationship with God, living His will and His way under his reign. But advertising consistently sends the message that “it’s all about you.” Consequently our kids get it all wrong regarding who should reside at the center of their worldview and who should be in control of their lives. In addition, marketing’s materialistic messages have led to the virtue of compassion being replaced by competition. God calls us to self-sacrificing lives of compassion. The message of today’s market-driven world is the exact opposite. Instead of looking out for others, we are to look out for number one. In this kind of world we are most concerned about our selves. And that’s a shame.

Today we’re continuing our look at how marketing influences children and teens. As materialism takes root and grows, kids become more impulsive, buying without evaluating or thinking about the difference between wants and needs. Kids wind up wanting to acquire products they really don’t need, but they want them for the perceived emotional and quality of life benefits they promise. Marketing has also influenced kids to work more in order to have more. Those who have jobs are working longer hours, making it difficult to stay involved in other activities including church youth groups, school activities, service projects, and family time. While some kids work to save money for future educational needs, a growing number are working long hours in order to fund and sustain large luxury items including cars, audio systems, and cell phones. Parents, are your kids working for the right reasons?

Today, we’re continuing our look at how marketing influences our children and teens. As I’ve studied teen marketing over the years, it’s clear that there are short and long-term effects and results of advertising. Parents must think about how these results and effects square up to who our kids should be as followers of Christ. One result is that materialism is becoming more deeply embedded in our teenagers’ lives. Because they are being marketed to with increasing frequency and depth, vulnerable kids find it easier to believe advertising’s messages and promises. They define themselves by their possessions, seeking happiness, satisfaction, meaning, and redemption in the accumulation of things. Kids buy into a live to consume rather than a consume to live mentality. Talk with your kids about marketing’s messages, and how these messages agree or disagree with what Jesus has to say about money and materialism.

Take a look around and you’ll quickly notice that advertising is everywhere. It’s especially pervasive in the lives our teenagers, who are, by the way, the most targeted market segment in the world. Consequently, marketing functions as a map that sits unfolded in the laps of vulnerable teens who are looking to find their way from childhood, through adolescence, and into adulthood. Advertising’s 24/7 presence takes advantage of the fact that more and more kids are growing up in broken families, thus making them more hungry for the guidance and direction that they aren’t getting at home. Marketing is telling our kids what to think, what to value, what to believe, what to worship, and how to spend their money and lives. Listen in over the next few days as we look at how marketing’s shaping our kids, along with a Christian response.

Several decades ago, media and communication theorist Marshal McLuhan was warning us that the technological tools we create and embrace have long-term effects that are not always positive. He said, “first we shape our tools, and then our tools shape us.” Now that the smartphone has been present in our culture and lives for over seventeen years, we are seeing how our lives and relationships are changing. A college professor named Brandon McDaniel coined a term that describes one such negative effect. The term is technoference. Simply stated, technoference occurs when our attention to screens disrupts our personal communication or time spent with others, including our family and friends. We constantly check our screens when we are in the presence of others or in conversation with others. Recent surveys tell us that more and more kids are complaining about the technoference that comes when parents spend too much time on their phones. Do you need to change your habits?

Russell Kirk was a twentieth century social critic who back in 1992 said something very important regarding the changes taking place in culture as it slides further and further into secularism, and what needs to take place. Kirk said, “If a culture is to survive and flourish, it must not be severed from the religious vision out of which it arose. The high necessity of reflective man and women, then, is to labor for the restoration of religious teachings as a credible body of doctrine. America as we know it cannot survive without biblical Christianity. The rights we cherish, the freedoms we enjoy, the ideals we all love together – all are rooted in and sustained by the tradition of the Bible. Christianity is the electric current of our national life. Turn it off, and the light will fade.” Parents and youth workers, it begins with all of us studying and knowing the truths of God’s Word. Then, we must be committed to teaching and telling the truth to our kids, all the time!