Youth Culture Today with Walt Mueller

As followers of Jesus, we must go to and trust God’s Word as the spotlight that shines truth on our understanding of gender. God, the Creator of all things, pronounced everything He created as “good!” But when He finished creating humans He said “very good!’ And what He pronounced as “very good!” was male and female. . . the binary genders He designed and assigned. . . male and female only, that are both fully human and equal in dignity and value. This is the way things are supposed to be. Jesus affirms this in Matthew 19:4 when He says, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female?” God desires that we never allow our feelings to dictate and misshape our understanding of truth. Rather, we need to submit our feelings and desires to God’s Word. Don’t ever forget, God in His goodness has created and given us each our gender, which is indicated by our anatomy, either male or female.

When Christian missionaries go through training, they spend lots of time learning their message. Missionary training is centered on learning the Gospel so that it might be shared correctly. But the message is not the only thing they learn. They also go through lots of learning about the culture of those to whom they are being sent, along with how to best communicate in ways that can be heard and understood in that context. Parents, did you know that you are a cross-cultural missionary? As you raise your children in the Lord, your need to know their cultural context. Culture-watcher Aaron Renn provides some helpful information on our current parenting context. He tells us that since twenty-fourteen, we are now parenting in a world that has come to have a negative view of Christianity. We need to understand that this may create obstacles in sharing our faith with our kids, especially if they have adopted this view. Be sensitive to this reality, but faithfully speak and live out your Christian faith.

When one of our kids came home from school and announced that he learned on the school playground where babies come from, I asked him what he had learned and from who. Not surprisingly, what he had learned didn’t even come close to the truth, so it afforded us an opportunity to tell him the truth about God’s good design for sexuality. Parents, here are three essential elements to good and Godly teaching on sex if we want to lead them in the right direction. First, we must teach God’s creational design. We go to the Bible to look at Genesis one and two, the teachings of Jesus, and what the rest of the Bible teaches on sex. Second, we must teach God’s design continually. It’s not just one talk, but the talking. Culture is talking at them twenty-four seven, and typically leads them astray. We need to talk with regularity. And finally, we must take advantage of cultural prompts. When we see or hear a message on sex, talk about it with your kids, offering the biblical corrective.

Last month, I read social psychologist Jonathan Haidt’s new book, “The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness.” Over the past few years, I have found Haidt to be a trustworthy voice of reason regarding those issues that foster healthy growth and development in our kids, and those practices that are harmful. In his latest book, Haidt provides clear evidence of how smartphones have contributed in major ways to the teen mental health crisis. He offers these four common-sense rules that could change the narrative and help our kids. First, kids should not have a smart phone before high school. They are not ready for the addictive nature of smartphones. Second, no social media before the age of sixteen. It is addictive and fosters harmful comparison. Third, no phones at school. And finally, kids need more independence, free play, and responsibility in the real world. Our kids need to play without adult supervision.

On this weekend when we look forward to celebrating Father’s Day, I want to remind the fathers who are listening of their greatest responsibility in life. In Ephesians six four we read this: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” If we are taking the time to carefully, diligently, and correctly teach the Word of God to our children, we will have fulfilled our highest calling as parents. Writing back in eighteen eighty three, English pastor Robert William Dale has this word for dads that still rings true today. “Parents should care more for the loyalty of their children to Christ than anything besides, more for this than for their health, their intellectual vigor and brilliance, their material prosperity, their social position, and their exemptions from great sorrows and great misfortunes.” Dad, on this weekend when you are celebrated, ask the Lord to lead you into how to best lead your kids.

You’ve no doubt heard the phrase, “Garbage in, garbage out.” I remember my own youth pastor telling us that a car has been created with great care to run smoothly on the right kind of fuel. He used the illustration of what happens to car when someone maliciously pours sugar into the gas tank. It wreaks havoc on the engine, as it clogs the fuel filter and injectors. Of course, my youth pastor was teaching us about what we put into our minds. But I thought about his words when I read recently that researchers at USC are warning us that kids who feast on a high-fat, sugary diet run the risk of doing damage to their brains’ ability to remember. This is especially important for us to remember since our kids are growing through a period of life where their brain if forming and developing. While the researchers are basing their findings on studies done on rats, we can’t discount the potential dangers. Parents, you are called to teach your kids to steward their bodies to God’s glory.

Advances in neurological science point to the amazing complexity of our God-made brains. Because their brains are still developing, our children, teens, and even young adults have what is called an underdeveloped impulse control. This makes them less prone to resist behavioral impulses and more prone to engage in risky behaviors perceived to bring some kind of immediate benefit, but which could also bring long-lasting negative consequences. In spiritual terms, this not only means that our kids are likely to lack wisdom and discernment, but more readily fall into sin. We need to teach them that as sinners, their default setting is to follow their sinful hearts more readily than they are to follow God’s Word. Which means that we must nurture them into knowing God’s good, life-giving Word, helping to expose sin. As their frontal lobes are still developing, they need parents who serve to train them in Godly decision-making and living.

In a world where our kids are hearing that there is no such thing as the creational gender binary of male and female, and where they are hearing that they have the power to choose their gender based on their personal feelings and desires, there are a growing number of young voices who hope to turn the tide including nineteen year old Chloe Cole. As a young self-described tomboy, Cole was introduced to the idea that she could become a boy through social media. Parents, take note. After being diagnosed with gender dysphoria at nine years old, she began transitioning at age twelve, took puberty blockers and cross-sex hormones at age thirteen, and had her breasts removed at age fifteen. By age seventeen, she was detransitioning. Now, she is calling out those who supported and pushed her into transitioning. Parents, what young child really knows who they are? We need to help our children navigate this confusion, pointing them to live into their God-ordained male or female bodies.

Earlier this morning, I went online and purchased a book with a title that grabbed my attention. The book is Linda Flanagan’s “Back in the Game: How Money and Mania Are Ruining Kids’ Sports – and Why It Matters.” While I have yet to read the book, the overview describes how Flanagan lists some ways that this frenzy and obsession is changing things for kids and our families, and not for the better. Kids are being funneled into specializing year-round in one sport. The risk of physical injury and mental health problems increases. Coaches and parents are engaging in egregious behavior. And due to the high cost of youth sports, there is reduced opportunity and access for low-income families. Youth sports are big business, and we need to realize that many of the invitations extended to our kids are being issued by individuals and companies desiring to make a quick buck. Parents, this trend takes youth sports, a good thing, and is turning it into an idol.

“We did it, and we turned out ok.” Perhaps you’ve heard that line of reasoning from other parents regarding today’s teens and marijuana use. In fact, a government survey indicates that since 2015, the number of parents who believe there is a risk of harm from using marijuana has dropped, from just over thirty percent of parents, to just over twenty percent today. But researchers and medical professionals will tell you that we should actually be more concerned about the risks from marijuana use, as the impact of smoking today’s marijuana is actually greater on the developing and vulnerable brains of our kids. Experts report that in the 1960’s, the THC content of marijuana was two to three percent. Today, it is twenty percent or more, making it ten times more potent. Doctors are seeing increased psychotic events attributed to this increased potency. Parents, monitor your kids, and don’t approve of the use of marijuana or any other substances kids are choosing to abuse.

In the story of Noah, a righteous man who walked blamelessly with God, we see God’s grief over humankind’s sin. And while God chooses to cleanse the earth through a flood, he also chooses to make a covenant with humanity to never again destroy the earth through a flood. The mark of this gracious promise is the rainbow. As a sign of God’s promise of grace, the rainbow should point us to exhibit a response of humble gratitude marked by obedience to God’s will and way for our lives, rather than a pride-filled life where we follow our own will and way for our lives. In today’s world, the image of the rainbow is used as a symbol of pride. Sadly, this steals the rainbow away from what it was originally established to symbolize. Whenever you see the rainbow. . . in the sky, on a flag, wherever. . . don’t think of it as a sign of pride and human autonomy, but as a sign of humility and dependence on God who has offered up his own son to redeem us from our sin and pride.

In his book, “The Patient Ferment of the Early Church”, Alan Kreider offers an explanation of how Christianity took root and grew in the Roman Empire, even though the church was marginalized, despised, and discriminated against. The parallels to the world we find ourselves inhabiting as Christians today is remarkably similar. Kreider explains that four things happened to advance the faith, and I believe we can and should enlist all four in our Christian parenting. First, there was patience. They didn’t hurry or push things along. Rather, they patiently trusted God to do His work. Second, they developed habitual behaviors of Christian commitment and character that not only grew their own faith, but offered a compelling witness to the surrounding culture. Third, they were committed to Christian education and worship. And finally, there was a kind of ferment happening as their faith bubbled up out of their inward lives. Let’s offer the same kind of compelling witness to our kids.

Advances in neurological science point to the amazing complexity of our God-made brains, and inform us about how best we can parent our kids in ways that lead to their healthy growth and development. Recently, the American Psychological Association released a report which reminds us that starting around age ten and continuing until the mid-twenties, the human brain is hypersensitive to social feedback and stimuli. You and I see evidence of this in how our kids become invested and even obsessed with engaging in behaviors, both off line and online, that will help them get feedback, praise, and attention from their peers. Brain science is now telling us that getting likes and gaining followers on social media actually activates neural regions that trigger repetitive behavior, which can then lead to repetitive use of social media, and even addiction. Let’s raise up Godly children whose lives are directed at habitually bringing glory to God, rather than seeking the praise of their peers.

As our culture continues to promote ideologies that leave so many questioning their gender and sexuality, it’s important that we as parents and the church continually remind our kids of God’s good and glorious creational design as put forth in Genesis one and two. God made humanity in His image, and He made us male and female, which is the gender binary so many dispute and deny today. Why should be keep reminding our kids of God’s Truth? A recent analysis of national survey results has found that one in four grade nine to twelve adolescents here in the United States report their sexual identity as non-heterosexual. Friends, don’t ever forget that the period known as adolescence is a stage filled with physical changes and lots of questioning. In today’s world, our vulnerable growing and changing kids are now given options beyond heterosexuality, or the gender binary of male and female. Provide the kids you and know and love with Godly guidance and direction.

In this day and age where we are hearing more and more about the declining mental health of our kids, we need to come to an understanding of how changes in the nature of childhood are contributing to this epidemic. One of the clear causes has been the move from kids engaging in what’s called “free play,” to kids engaging in only adult-supervised organized sports, or remaining sedentary by spending so much time on screens. The Aspen Institute tells us that the benefits of childhood play are immediate and long term. Kids who physically play are physically and mentally healthier, they perform better in school, they are less likely to engage in drug use and other risky behaviors, and wind up being more productive as they move into the adult years. Additional research tells us that going outside to engage with friends in free play leads to greater resiliency for kids, as they learn how to relate with others and solve problems. Make it possible for your kids to play in this way.

If you’re like me and you lament the decline in the quality of popular music since the days when you were a teenager, there’s actually some new research indicating that your lament is not simply based on your personal listening preferences. Rather, there has been a change in popular music that’s not something we should be celebrating. Europeon researchers recently took on the task of analyzing the words in more than twelve thousand English language songs from the years 1980 to 2020, all from a variety of genres including pop, R and B, country, rap and rock. What did they discover? Not only are songs becoming simpler and more repetitive in their construction, but there has been a decrease in positive messages, and an increase in lyrics that are self-centered, angry, and sad. Here at CPYU we say that music is both a map and a mirror. As a mirror, it tells us what’s happening in the lives of our kids. As a map, it tells them how to live. Once again, we learn that our kids need the hope of the Gospel.

As followers of Jesus Christ, we are called to develop the skill of knowing, understanding, and applying the truths of God’s Word to all of life, so that we might distinguish truth from error, wisdom from foolishness, and right from wrong. And, as we develop discernment, we must also guide our impressionable young children and teens into doing the same, teaching them a skill which is desperately needed in a world where the winds of culture are furiously blowing our kids around in ways that so easily lead to shipwreck. The Psalmist prays these words: “Teach me good judgment and knowledge, for I believe in your commandments”. Parents, look for and use the teachable moments everyday life brings to practice biblical discernment with your kids. When they become teenagers, we need to respect their developing cognitive abilities by thinking with them, so that we are preparing them for a lifetime of thinking with biblical discernment for themselves.

In his recent book, “The Anxious Generation,” social psychologist Jonathan Haidt recommends that our schools ban smartphones. It’s a common-sense move that at the very least would answer the concerns of just all about all teachers regarding how smartphone presence has diminished the willingness and abilities of our kids to pay attention in class and to each other. In Norway, the ban on smartphones in schools has allowed researchers the opportunity to gauge whether or not a ban is helpful. The results are compelling. Banning smartphones has led to a significant decline in seeking out treatment for psychological symptoms and diseases. In fact, it’s a sixty percent drop! Educational performance improves. And, bullying has decreased significantly, with a drop of forty-six percent for girls, and forty-three percent for boys. While our smartphones are great tools when used correctly, we need to limit their use in terms of time and place, in order to facilitate our kid’s health.

On this Memorial Day holiday, we are encouraged to remember those who have gone before us, sacrificing their lives so that we might experience life in a free country. As you speak to your kids about the meaning of Memorial Day, use it also as an occasion to remind them that it is important to engage in the regular practice of thinking about past history, and the need to remember. The Bible tells us that one of our greatest responsibilities of parents and those who are older is to recount the deeds of the Lord, teaching them what God has done not only in our lives, but throughout biblical history. In Psalm seventy-eight we read a great reminder for today and every day: “I will utter sayings from of old, things that we have heard and known, that our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done.” Parents, this is our high calling and high privilege.

I remember my Dad uttering a saying that history tells us was already deeply entrenched in American culture in the late eighteen-hundreds. That saying was this: “Monkey see, monkey do.” While the saying pointed to the mimicry evident among monkeys as they would watch humans, the 1968 movie “Planet of the Apes” had the monkeys inverting the saying to “Human see, human do.” When it comes to parenting, the apes in the movie were spot-on. Our parental example will be imitated by our kids. A new study looked at parents and their eleven and twelve year old kids to see if parents who tell white lies, raise kids who are more prone to tell lies themselves. The study found, not surprisingly, that when parents tell white lies and the kids know what they are hearing is a lie, those kids are more prone to learn to lie themselves. Parents, teaching your kids God’s will and way requires truthfulness in all things. And we would do well to remember the ninth commandment, which forbids lying.

A friend recently told me about a conversation about smartphones that happened at her family dinner table. She and her husband had established a wise policy for their son and daughter: you cannot have a phone until you turn fifteen. Their son, age seventeen, had had his smartphone for two years. Their daughter, age fourteen, was very much looking forward to her upcoming fifteenth birthday so that she could enter the world of the smartphone. At one point during the meal, the daughter excitedly share her anticipation: “I can’t wait until I turn fifteen so that I can get my own smartphone!” Before anyone else had a chance to respond, her seventeen-year-old brother turned to her, held up his phone, and very seriously said, “Don’t do it. Don’t do it. Since I got this thing two years ago, I’m more anxious than ever.” Parents, I’m sure you’re wondering when to put a smartphone in the hands of your kids. Take into account the wisdom this teenager gained from his own negative experience.

In his wonderful little book for teenagers, “Do Not Be True To Yourself,” Kevin DeYoung quotes a bit of advice Pulitzer Prize winning writer Anna Quindlen once gave to a group of graduating seniors. Quindlen said, “Each of you is as different as your fingertips. Why should you march to any lockstep? Our love of lockstep is our greatest curse, the source of all that bedevils us. It is the source of homophobia, xenophobia, racism, sexism, terrorism, bigotry of every variety and hue because it tells us that there is one right way to do things, to look, to behave, to feel, when the only right way is to feel your heart hammering inside you and to listen to what its timpani is saying.” DeYoung follows up Quindlen’s bad advice with this corrective which each of our kids needs to hear and embrace: “Do not follow your dreams. Do not march to the beat of your own drummer. And whatever you do, do not be true to yourself.” The Gospel calls us follow the way and will of Jesus Christ.

Recently, the Canadian Center for Child Protection issued a warning to parents regarding an app called Wizz. . . that’s spelled W-I-Z-Z. The app bills itself as the ultimate online platform for connecting young people from all over the world. It’s a place of self-expression, camaraderie, and genuine human interaction. The app tells users that it’s a vibrant space to build new friendships, boost self-esteem, and embrace the joy of social interaction. Like the Tinder app, Wizz users swipe the screen to find new friends and stories. Users can engage in real-time conversations with new friends around the world. So, why the concern with Wizz? Even with all of Wizz’s efforts to make the app safe, Canadian officials are reporting that there have been over one-hundred-and eighty reports of child sexual exploitation, with ninety-one percent of those concerning sextortion, with male users being victimized the most. Parents, monitor you kids, and be sure to remove dangerous social media apps.

When I was in college, I took as many Anthropology classes as I could. Simply stated, Anthropology is the discipline that studies the nature of humanity, including human biology and behavior. As Christians, we should be embracing a biblical anthropology, which is the study of our humanity as it relates to God. When we read the Bible, our understanding of who we are is rooted in the Creation narrative, where God differentiates us from everything else in Creation, making us in His image as male and female. Today, the trends in the secular world of anthropology tend to undermine the creation narrative, leading to the faulty assumption that we are who we feel, decide, and determine ourselves to be. In fact, the American Anthropological Association recently removed a session at their annual meeting that assumed the biological binary of male and female. This reminds us of our need to teach our kids the truth about who they’ve been created to be.

This week we’ve been looking at some of Dr. Marv Penner’s strategies and skills for helping hurting kids. Marv has developed a set of skills based on the acronym L.O.V.E. The letter E calls us to quick action, by taking steps to eliminate immediate dangers. Many hurting kids are involved in behaviors and relationships that require early intervention. Furthermore, we need to empower adolescents as people with the power to choose. As long as they feel like helpless victims, they won’t move forward. But most importantly, we must expect God to do his part to accomplish what only he can do in the lives of kids. God will provide his presence, his comfort, and his healing. L – O – V – E. When it comes to hurting kids, we must listen to them, offer encouragement and support, validate what’s happening in their lives, and eliminate immediate dangers. That’s a good place to begin as we endeavor to lead hurting kids to the hope and healing that comes through Jesus Christ.

This week we’re looking at some of Dr. Marv Penner’s strategies and skills for helping hurting kids. Marv has developed a set of skills based on the acronym L.O.V.E. The letter V calls us to validate what’s happening in the lives of hurting teenagers. Many kids in pain have been told that their perspectives are inaccurate, their emotions are illegitimate, and they need to “get over it.” Our relational commitment validates them as people of worth. Our supportive words validate the courage it takes to face their own pain and share their stories. And our patience and gentleness validate the emotions they feel about the circumstances they share with us. The fear, confusion, shame, hurt, isolation, anger, and loss must be processed, not simply stuffed away. All of us know how difficult it is to begin to open up to someone and to be told in one of a variety of ways that what we’re experiencing really doesn’t matter. Let’s avoid doing that with hurting kids.

This week we’re looking at some of Dr. Marv Penner’s strategies and skills for helping hurting kids. Marv has developed a set of skills based on the acronym L.O.V.E. The letter O refers to what we offer students who choose to risk sharing their hearts with us. They’ve come to us because they believe we have something they need. It’s important for us to offer hope in what they often consider to be hopeless circumstances. Offers of encouragement, support, wisdom, and advice can all express this hope. Maybe the most important thing we can offer kids is the willingness to go deeper with them. Most adults want to keep things safe and shallow. What are your offering to hurting kids? The Psalmist reminds us in Psalm Forty-two that we are to put our hope in God. If we have placed our hope and trust in the one who has made us and not in the things he has made, hurting kids will see that reality. Hope is the greatest gift we can give to kids in pain.

This week we’re looking at some of Dr. Marv Penner’s strategies and skills for helping hurting kids. Marv has developed a set of skills based on the acronym L.O.V.E. The letter L concerns listening, the most fundamental skill needed by anyone working with wounded kids. Many teenagers are convinced that no one is listening to them. Everyone is either too busy, preoccupied, stressed, or selfish to give kids the undivided attention they need. We must learn to listen beneath the words – at the level of emotions, non-verbal cues, and even silence. Listening must be active and responsive to what’s being said and left unsaid. And of course, it must be non-judgmental. Nothing will shut down a kid’s story more quickly than an adult pointing out where he’s wrong. Listening is a skill we desperately need to develop – not just for the sake of creating an environment conducive to good communication, but for the sake of the spiritual and emotional health of our kids.

This week I want to talk about responding to hurting kids, and some great lessons that I’ve learned from my good friend, Dr. Marv Penner. For years, Marv has been equipping youth workers, counselors, and parents to understand and help kids who are experiencing brokenness in their lives. The fact is that a growing number of adolescents today are hurting deeply – often more deeply than they or many of the adults in their lives are willing to acknowledge. Most have nowhere to turn with their pain. Marv reminds us that helping these kids is as much about who you are, as it is about what you do. The most powerful instrument of ministry you have to offer a kid is your own life, lived transparently and honestly so they can see the difference the Gospel makes for you. It’s all about relationships. When kids trust you, that opens the door to helping them.

This weekend we celebrate Mother’s Day. As Christians, this day should bring to mind the fifth commandment, which reads, “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” Over 40 years ago, Dr. John Huffman wrote this about the 5th commandment in book, “Liberating Limits: “God pity the society led by brash young people who have the answers but very little respect for their elders. Anarchy comes quickly. Allow young people to be alienated from their parents and you’ll observe a nation drift into moral and social anarchy. Family life is crucial to a healthy society. Children who grab hold of the household reins, pushing their parents aside, inflict a serious damage on a society. Young people who grow up without subjection to authority are programming themselves for unhappiness. A society as well as an individual pays an enormous price for weakening the honor paid to fathers and mothers.”

Nearly half of today’s teenagers say that they are on their phones and online almost constantly. The Pew Research Center surveyed a cohort of teens, ages thirteen to seventeen, along with parents, back in the fall of last year. The findings are interesting and helpful as we consider how to best help our kids live to God’s glory on the digital frontier. You might be surprised to learn that seventy-two percent of our teens say that they often or sometimes feel peaceful and/or happy when they have de-tethered and disconnected from their smartphone. That’s a good thing, and it reminds us that we should encourage and even require time limits for our kids. But many kids also say that disconnecting makes them feel anxious, upset, or lonely. Take time to talk to your kids about how they feel when they detach, and encourage them to use their time wisely and to God’s glory. Build your relationship with your kids so that time spent with you is valued, time that will be a positive alternative to screentime!

If you grew up through your own adolescence ten, thirty, or fifty years ago, you remember what it was like to encounter and try to navigate peer pressure. Throughout the decades, peer pressure was often a top or the number one reason teenagers gave for choosing to experiment with alcohol and drugs. Now, researchers at the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention are telling us that the number one reason today’s teens cite for using drugs and alcohol is to reduce stress, anxiety, and even depression. Almost three-quarters of teens say that their motivation for substance use is to feel mellow, calm, or relaxed. In addition, they want to stop worrying about a problem or to forget bad memories. Because we live in a sinful and broken world, we all face difficulties in life. Parents, from a young age, teach your children that substance abuse is not an avenue to fixing issues of stress and anxiety. Rather, teach them to go to Jesus Christ, and his promise to carry their burdens.

I recently read these words from pastor Alistair Begg: “No church of Jesus Christ progresses beyond the spiritual progress of its leaders.” While those words are important for those in church leadership, I got to thinking about just how true they also are for leadership in the home. As parents, we can restate Begg’s words this way: “No family that hopes to disciple and nurture kids into following Jesus Christ, progresses beyond the spiritual progress of its parents.” As a father and grandfather, these words are not only convicting to me, but they force me into a process of self-examination. Parents, I would encourage us all to take an accounting of how and where we are spending our time? What is it that grabs and holds our focus? Ask yourself this, “Am I investing my time into my own spiritual growth and development?” The truth is that your kids are watching you and learning from you. Who you are is just as important as what you say. Your growth is a prerequisite to the spiritual growth of your kids.

A study published late last year in the Journal of the American Medical Association shows that there has been sharp increases in the rates of hospitalizations for boys with eating disorders. This is news that we all must pay attention to, as historically, eating disorders have been portrayed as a disease of adolescent girls who desire to lose weight out of concern for their appearance. This is not at all surprising considering the body image pressure that marketing and social media continue to ramp up for our girls. But researchers are telling us that body image pressures on our boys convince them that they need to bulk-up with muscle. Medical professionals have labeled this as bigorexia. Not only is this a spiritual issue related to a misplaced sense of identity, and idolizing muscles, but it causes low heart rates, abnormal blood markers, and suicidal ideation. God calls us to have no other God’s before Him. This includes the idolatry of self. Teach your kids to honor God above all else.

The famous theologian, Augustine, once said this: “This is the authentic happy life, to set one’s joy in you, grounded in you and caused by you.” After many years of wandering and struggle as a young man, God took hold of Augustine’s heart and called Augustine to Himself. It wasn’t long after that Augustine took to writing the volume that we know as his Confessions. This quote is one of the ancient gems we should be sharing with our kids. You see, in today’s world, our kids are led to believe that one’s joy can only be found in being true to one’s self. Authenticity and loyalty to self are the highest value in life. But sadly, this is not the path to joy. The writer of Proverbs says, “Trust in the Lordwith all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” Parents, you have been called by God to lead your children onto the path to life. If you don’t lead them into finding their joy in Jesus Christ, they will most likely believe the culture’s lies.

I was recently thinking back over what I had planned to do when I grew up. Why? I was reading about what one survey calls one of the most desirable career options kids are thinking about in today’s world. Are you wondering what that job is? It’s a job that wasn’t even an option just two decades ago: Social media star or influencer. We now live in a world where there is what is called a “Creator Economy,” an industry now valued at over two-hundred and fifty billion, with some influencers making well upwards of six figures a year, just for posting videos and photos of themselves on social media while using certain products. Parents, kids are typically attracted to the fastest track to income. Let’s teach them to discover their God-given gifts and abilities, and use those gifts and abilities in a lifetime of faithfully serving the Lord. Point them to these words from the Apostle Paul: “So whatever you do, whether you eat or drink – do it all to the glory of God.” It’s not about us!

Imagine walking today into a twelfth grade English class at your local high school. You stand in the back of the room, undetected, and look around at the twenty students who are seated at their desks. According to the latest research, you can correctly assume that two out of these twenty students have admitted to using what’s known as delta-8-THC in the last year. Delta-8 is a psychoactive substance that is derived from hemp, which is a variety of the Cannabis plant. Delta-8 products can be purchased online and over the counter, with products including oils, gummies, capsules, disposable vapes, and more. They are marketed aggressively to our kids, and the FDA reports adverse health issues related to this psychoactive substance. These Delta-8 products have intoxicating effects, and they are often manufactured using potentially harmful chemicals in order to increase the concentration of THC. Parents, monitor your kids, and warn them about the spiritual and physical dangers of substance abuse.

As conversations in our culture continue over how to navigate the increased traction the transgender ideology is getting among our kids, we should be paying attention to what is happening across the pond in the U.K. The world’s largest gender clinic has been the Tavistock clinic in Britain. Health officials are closing the clinic this spring as more and more is being learned about the dangers to our kids regarding what’s labeled as “gender-affirming care.” Not only is the clinic being shut down, but the National Health Service of England has said that children who have or who identify as having gender dysphoria will no longer be given puberty blockers. The NHS says that there is not enough evidence regarding the safety or effectiveness of puberty blockers with children. We applaud this common-sense reality-based move, and hope that all of us will realize just how much life-long damage these supposed treatments cause. God has made us male or female, and gender is given, not chosen.

Parents, what are you teaching your kids about the presence of pain and suffering in their lives? Are you preparing them to face whatever difficulties life may bring by immersing themselves in what the Scriptures teach about the formative role adversity plays in our lives? In Psalm one-hundred-nineteen verse seventy one, the Psalmist writes, “My suffering was good for me, for it taught me to pay attention to your decrees.” Theologian J.I. Packer writes these words about suffering: “The fact is that God uses chronic pain and weakness, along with other sorts of affliction, as his chisel for sculpting our souls. Weakness deepens dependence on Christ for strength each day. The weaker we feel, the harder we lean. And the harder we lean, the stronger we grow spiritually, even while our bodies waste away.” Those are good words that reflect the truths of Scripture, that we must not only embrace for ourselves, but teach to our kids. The fact is, suffering is redemptive.

Ever since the smartphone debuted back in 2007, I have encountered a growing number of parents who lament how much time our kids are spending on their smartphones, and the way that time has undermined their teenager’s well-being. There’s a growing amount of data that supports these concerns, and which should cause us to wake up and pay attention so that we are more diligent in setting screen time limits, along with monitoring where are kids are spending their online time. But we’re now learning that’s it’s not just parents who are complaining about the effects of smartphones on our family relationships. The Pew Research Center’s late 2023 survey of teenagers found that nearly half of today’s thirteen to seventeen year-olds say they have a parents who is at least sometimes distracted by their phone when they’re trying to talk to them. Too much time looking at our screens takes away from the time we should be spending with each other. Are you spending too much time on your phone?

Every now and then I run across a challenging quote about the Christian faith from someone who does not embrace the Christian faith. And every now and then, these quotes serve as a wake-up call or much needed punch in the gut. That was certainly the case when I encountered this quote from author and agnostic, Julian Barnes. Barnes writes, “There seems little point in a religion which is merely a weekly social event. What’s the point of faith unless you and it are serious – seriously serious – unless your religion fills, directs, stains, and sustains your life?” Parents, what kind of faith is it that you embrace? Are you seriously serious about your relationship with Jesus Christ? That kind of seriously serious faith is the kind of faith that we’re called to. It’s also the kind of faith that we need to pass on to our kids. And the best way to pass on a seriously serious faith, is to live a seriously serious faith. Why don’t you take some time for some serious self-examination today?

Beginning way back in 1975, the University of Michigan’s Institute for Social Research has been surveying high school students on their behaviors regarding drug and alcohol abuse. The survey launched when it was recognized that the 1960s had brought a widespread epidemic of illicit drug use among U.S. youth. As that epidemic has evolved, the survey has added a host of new drugs as they have become available, and it began gathering data from eighth graders in 1991, as drug use was filtering down into the population at earlier ages. In the introduction to the 2023 version of the survey results, researchers write this: “Substance abuse is the leading cause of preventable morbidity and mortality; it is in large part why, among seventeen high income nations, people in the U.S. have the highest probability of dying by age fifty. Parents, we need to monitor the behavior of our kids, and do all we can to educate them to the physical and spiritual dangers of drug and alcohol abuse.

What does the cultural narrative tell us and our kids about what we are to believe about who we are? How and where do we find our identity? Is who we are a given? Or is who we are someone or something we have the responsibility and privilege to create? In her helpful new book, “Self-Made: Creating Our Identities from Da Vinci to the Kardashians”, Tara Isabella Burton traces the slow slide our world has experienced, into believing we are who we make of ourselves, rather than seeing ourselves as being made by God. She summarized the issue this way: “All of us have inherited the narrative that we must shape our own path and place in this life and that where and how we were born should not determine who and what we will become.” In effect, Burton is reminding us that in today’s world, we are to lean into self-sovereignty, rather than living under God’s sovereignty. Parents, this is one of the most dangerous lies our kids can believe. Are you telling them the truth?

If you have a calendar on your wall that lists holidays, you will notice that today begins the Jewish remembrance of the Passover. This annual holiday celebrates the escape of the Jewish people from Egyptian slavery, a story that is recounted in Exodus chapter twelve. The name Passover includes the sense of to spare from something. In this case, God looked on the blood-sprinkled houses of the Israelites, passing over them and sparing them from the way he smote the Egyptian homes by striking down all firstborn men and animals. If you read Exodus 12 you will see that the blood which was to be sprinkled on the houses came from a sacrificial lamb. In the New Testament, we learn that Christ has become our Passover, and that the blood he shed on the cross on our behalf offers a way out of our slavery to sin, delivering us into new life. Why not take some time with your family on this Passover day, to read Exodus twelve, to see the mercy and grace of God, and to thank Him for Jesus Christ, our Passover lamb.

My friend, youth pastor and writer Mike McGarry, offers some great advice to youth workers and parents on how to prepare students for a lifelong faith. This is important to consider as the research consistently points to the fact that far too many kids are not only graduating from high school, but graduating or walking away from the faith as they enter young adulthood. Here are Mike’s four best practices for facilitating a lifelong faith. First, apply the Gospel to everything. Help them see that Christ not only came to save them, but to lead them into faithful God-glorifying living in every square inch of their lives. Second, teach them to love the church. Engage them not only with their peers, but with the full spectrum of believers in your local body. Third, dream big biblical dreams for your kids. Pray that they would grow and mature in their faith. And finally, give kids the opportunity to lead and even fail. A deepened faith is the fruit of real-life struggles. Don’t coddle your kids.

The latest edition of the Monitoring the Future National Survey on drug use among our teenagers, cites good news that I would like to pass on to you today. The survey, which has been conducted annually since 1975, offers some encouraging data on what the survey labels as “abstainers.” Abstainers are defined as students with no use of alcohol, marijuana, or nicotine. Nicotine use is typically by cigarettes or vaping. Researchers report that in 2024, levels of lifetime abstention significantly increased among students in the two high school groups surveyed, that is, our tenth and twelfth graders. These levels of abstention are at the highest since they began getting tracked back in 2017. Researchers say that these increases in abstention have been driven by decreases in nicotine vaping and alcohol use. This is good news, and should encourage us to keep educating our students on the dangers of drug use, while point them to finding meaning and purpose in a relationship with Jesus Christ.

With March Madness now being over for about a week, it’s a good time to think about the place sports holds in our lives. Some recent data from the Pew Research Center offers five facts about Americans and sports. First, about half of Americans say they took part in organized, competitive sports in high school or college. This means that many of our kids grow up playing organized sports. Second, most Americans who played sports in high school or college say their athletic experiences improved their physical health and confidence. Third, our love for sports is also about spectating. Almost forty percent of American say they follow college or pro sports at least somewhat closely. Fourth, if asked to choose one sport as America’s sport, over half choose football. And finally, almost one out of five Americans said they had bet money on sports in the past year. Parents, sports are great. Teach your kids to love God first and foremost. To put anything in His place is idolatry.

Do you think that pop music has an influence on the values, attitudes, and behaviors of our kids? The truth is that it’s not just the lyrics that influence, but the high-profile lifestyles and stories of the pop stars themselves. Popular singer and Grammy award winner Olivia Rodrigo is one star whose music and lifestyle influence our children and teens. As part of her recent concert in St. Louis, Rodrigo did more than sing to the twenty-two thousand fans assembled at the Enterprise Center. With the help of the Missouri Abortion Fund, Rodrigo handed out free Plan B pills, or morning after emergency contraception pills, to her fans. Standing up for abortion rights is nothing new to Rodrigo as she’s been a vocal abortion advocate for years. Parents, we encourage you to listen to who and what your kids are listening to, and then talk about what they are hearing, affirming that which is line with God’s Word, and then challenging and correcting that content which advocates sin.

If I remind you that today is known as tax day here in the United States, some of you will breath a sigh of relief that you have completed the tedious work of pulling your tax returns together. Others of you, if you’ve forgotten about today, might now be panicking over your procrastination. What I want to encourage you all to do is to use today as a teachable moment to share with your kids what Jesus and the Apostle Paul have to say about governmental authority. Both of them taught that we are responsible to pay taxes to the government. Jesus tells us in Mark twelve seventeen that we are to render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are Gods. In Romans thirteen, Paul commands the church to pay taxes to those whom taxes are owed. While we have no higher authority that God, we must recognize that our government has been instituted by God, and we are to respect the government’s authority, unless the government commands something immoral.

Today, we wrap up our look at the categories of Pornographic Style of Relating, or PSR, that Dr. Andrew Bauman tells us undermine God’s good desire for our sexuality and human flourishing. After the first four categories of control, objectification, speed, and hunger, Bauman cites a fifth: isolation. With pornography, sexuality is experienced in sinful and fallen ways behind closed doors. This isolation fuels a secret life and very quickly breaks down our relationships, undermining our relating to our spouses, children, and friends. God’s design is for our sexuality to be shared with our spouse in a heterosexual, monogamous relationship, not with a series of images online. Finally, Bauman offers a sixth category of PSR: fantasy. He reminds us that healthy relationships live in the truth. It’s my hope that our discussions this week will motivate you to teach biblical sexuality to your kids, that you will warn them about pornography, and that the Lord would protect their vulnerable hearts and minds.