Youth Culture Today with Walt Mueller

As a dad, I remember the concern I felt as my daughters started to enter puberty and transform according to God’s good design, from little girls into women. I knew that with the shift through adolescence they would face new pressures in a world that puts a premium on body image, sexuality, and appearance. We worked hard to prepare them, buffer them, and guide them through this stage, all the while endeavoring to lead them more deeply into a relationship with Jesus Christ. According to the latest research, those of you raising girls need to be on high alert at earlier ages, as the new data shows that puberty is starting earlier, with girls developing breasts as young as age six or seven. While not all the reasons are known, researchers have seen links with childhood obesity, exposure to environmental chemicals, and stress. While it might make you uncomfortable, we need to be having conversations about Godly sexuality and body image at younger and younger ages.

Depending on how old you are, you remember the specific have-to-have-it faddish items that you needed if you desired to fit in with your peers. For those who are baby-boomers, it was yo’s-yo’s, clackers, mini-skirts and bell-bottomed jeans. There’s a new fad for today’s kids that’s rather pricey and a bit surprising. It comes from the one-hundred and ten year old Stanley company that has long been known to make steel lunch boxes and vacume bottles favored by construction workers. Today’s fad among children and teens is the Stanley Quencher water bottle, that goes for forty-five dollars. I’ve seen elementary aged kids carrying them around, a boon for Stanley whose sales rose from seventy-three million in 2019, to seven-hundred-and-fifty-million in 2023. While fads like these are not ethically or morally wrong, they can reveal the idols of our children’s hearts if they believe that having a certain thing is the passport to happiness and acceptance. Teach your kids to love the Lord above all else.

Kristen Jenson at defendyoungminds.com wrote an article entitled, Today’s Porn Industry: Five Things Every Parent Needs to Know. Parents, as you engage in continued conversations with your kids about the dangers and sinful nature of this horribly broken and addicting expression of God’s good gift of sexuality, keep in mind these warnings from Jenson. First, the porn industry is complicit with the sex trafficking of minors, rape, and pedophilia. Porn has become synonymous with sex crimes. Second, the pornography industry makes hard-core pornography available for free. If it doesn’t find your kids, your kids will find it. Third, pornography normalizes incest, racism, and violence to women. Fourth, the porn industry is a mainstream big corporate business. Yes, computer scientists, lawyers accountants, and HR execs are all a part of the scheme. And finally, the porn industry is doing all they can to deny the truth, to disinform, and to defame their critics. Parents, protect your kids from pornography.

We’re now hearing about what’s been labeled the “Sephora tween” that’s sweeping through the pre-teen population. Thanks to social media and our kids presence as both creators and consumers of things like TikTok videos, pre-teen girls who experts say have never heard their parents say “no” are heading to make-up and skincare Sephora stores to purchase high end products, and even sample them in the store, many times opening sealed product and making a mess. Some kids are not only using the products, but they are making videos to post on social media, all in the hope of gaining followers and becoming influencers. Not surprisingly, some of this can be traced back very recently to videos posted by the nine and eleven year old daughters of Kim Kardashian and Kourtney Kardashian. There’s plenty to warrant concern in this trend. Let’s add to that the fact that many of these products are not safe for a child’s skin. Parents, the culture promotes worldliness. Let’s lead our kids into Godliness.

In today’s world, our kids are being taught that true freedom consists of being able to step out from under any kind of external authority, and to live only under the authority of one’s self. They are to rule over themselves, constructing their own identities, beliefs, and behaviors based on how they feel at any given time. This way of living is not an option for our Christian kids. Consider these words of Jesus from John eight: “If you abide in my word you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” If we are going to be faithful follows of Jesus Christ, we must abide and live in the truths of God’s word. Dr. John White has said, “True freedom does not consist in doing what I want to do but in doing what I was designed to do.” Parents, teach your children and teens that full and complete human flourishing come only when we find our identity in who we’ve been made to be and we live according to God’s will and way for our lives.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you are aware of how the transgender ideology has been sweeping through the medical, educational, and legislative communities. This has created a growing sense, especially among our kids, that assuming a gender identity other than your birth gender is not only an option to explore, but an admirable thing to pursue. Salvo magazine reports that the trend may be taking a turn in the right direction, citing bioethicist Wesley J. Smith’s list of four signals that the tide might be turning against the cult-like push for trans-positivity. Smith says that first, European countries are back-pedaling on policies that allow medical transitioning for kids. Second, detransitioners are now speaking up to tell their horrific stories. Third, some are now suing those who influenced and helped their transition. And fourth, states are passing laws to protect minors from predatory medical practices. Let’s educate our kids on God’s design and his good gift of gender.

Our friends at Tim Elmore’s Growing Leaders organization recently chatted with a group of students between eighth grade and twelfth grade about their attitudes and practices regarding social media and screen time. It seems that many of the students interviewed realize that too much social media and screentime is harmful. One senior girl said this: “I was just on a trip with a group of friends, and a group of us girls sat down to make a list of the pros and cons of social media. The only pros we could think of were communication and how it helps you connect with people who you haven’t even met yet. It’s pretty convenient, but the cons way outweighed it so much. We mainly talked about how it was a waste of time and how easy it was to compare yourself to other people.” Those are some great insights. Parents, why not sit down with your kids and have them draw up a list of the pros and cons related to social media and screentime. Help them see the benefits of peeling back.

I remember being in Sunday School as a child and singing a catchy little song about wisdom, discernment, and influences that has stuck with me until this day. Perhaps you remember the same song, which issued warnings like be careful little eyes what you see, and be careful little ears what you hear. That song oftentimes comes to mind when I think about the influence that mass media and social media has on us and our kids. What we watch and what we listen to communicates beliefs about life that shape and even misshape our worldviews. And for our impressionable kids, the power to shape and misshape is especially strong. Parents, consider these true words from Robert McTeigue: Mass consumer culture is more than a vendor. The range of its dynamics is greater than simply facilitating the transfer of wealth from consumer to merchant. Mass culture is a principal venue for propaganda, seduction, illusion, and addiction.” Parents, teach your kids to think Christianly about media.

The great eighteenth century preacher and theologian Jonathan Edwards preached a sermon way back in August of 1740 that included some words to parents, educators, and the church which ring just as true today as when he spoke them almost three hundred years ago. Edwards said this: “Children ought to love the Lord Jesus Christ above all things in the world.” Jesus said the same thing this way Mark 12:30: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” Whether we are children or adults, love for God is the very thing for which we have been made. As you consider this, realize that the culture is educating your kids twenty-four seven to love and serve themselves above all else. Parents, take stock of how your example and words speak loudly to your kids about what’s most important in your life. Are you modeling the compelling lifestyle of Christian discipleship and loving Christ above all else?

One of the most dangerous aspects of today’s social media is exposure. Social media is a place where our kids will be constantly exposed, among other things, to dangerous ideas, addictive immoral content, and dangerous people. It’s not a matter of if, but when. And once it finds them, kids who are unprepared to respond according to guidelines you’ve communicated, they very easily could wind up looking for that same content that they never asked to see in the first place. One way this happens is with followers. It seems like each and every day, I run across notifications of new Instagram followers along with notifications of their “likes” of my photos and stories. It only takes a second to realize that many of these people are depicted in sexualized photos. They are fishing for followers, and who knows what else. Parents, teach your kids to guard their hearts and minds by blocking these requests when they get them. As the Scriptures say, we should put no unclean thing before our eyes.

Back when I was a teenager, there was a growing movement in the church to steer kids away from popular music that referenced things like drugs, sex, and violence. Many parents and youth workers were criticized for monitoring what their kids were listening to, as some believed that music lyrics were benign in influence. But research began to show that their concerns were justified, as what we listen to does influence our beliefs and behaviors. A new study measuring the associations between listening to sexual music lyrics and the influence on adolescent behavior has found that boys are more likely to participate in sexting in the future when exposed to sexual music lyrics. Parents, we need to be gatekeepers for the minds and hearts of our kids. Psalm one-hundred-one three says, “I will set no wicked thing before my eyes.” We need to teach our kids to have that same resolve. Our entertainment time should be, like all other times, about pursuing that which is good, true, right, and honorable.

What should we be teaching our kids about what it means to live as a Christian in today’s world? Can they just live as they please, following the course of this world while believing if they raised their hand or walked forward during a church service or youth group meeting that they are going to heaven? The reality is that those who are committed to Christ are also committed to following Christ in this world. The Christian faith not only speaks to what happens after death, but it speaks to all of life before death. When we pray the Lord’s prayer we pray that God’s Kingdom will come, and that God’s will will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. As I once heard the late Tom Skinner say, “Our function is to be the live model of what is happening in Heaven. That is, we are to reflect the value system of the new order of things.” Skinner was reminding us that Jesus calls His follower to be the light of the world. Are you teaching your kids to follow Jesus and not themselves?

Our friends at protect young minds dot org are advising parents about five sneaky locations where pornography finds kids. Parents, be aware of these five locations. First, kids are accessing pornography through the wifi at their grandparents homes. The reason? Grandparents are less prone to install controls on their devices. Second, when kids are out from under your roof and at a sleepover, there are risks related to a lack of supervision. Many recommend that sleepovers are never a good idea. Third, when kids are together on the school bus and there are smartphones present, there is an unsupervised freedom that often leads to exposure. Fourth, several kids report that their first exposure to porn occurred when they were thirteen and babysitting in someone else’s home. And finally, eighty percent of exposure happens right in our own homes when our kids are behind closed doors. Parents, be diligent by warning your kids of the dangers, and then setting up safe borders and boundaries.

One of the questions I field from frustrated youth workers just about everywhere I go is this: How can I get parents to sit up and take notice of the many dangerous cultural trends influencing their children and teens today? They just don’t seem to care. They know these things are out there, but they believe that these things just won’t ever effect their kids. Truth be told, I share the frustration of these youth workers. I tell them that I typically find that parents sit up and take notice after something negative happens to their kids and they find themselves in crisis. It’s then that I hear parents ask, “Why didn’t we see this coming?” while saying “I didn’t think this would ever happen to us.” Parents, take note of what’s happening the world in terms of the pressures, challenges, and choices your kids are facing. Exercise prevention rather than ignorance. And heed the words of Proverbs 22:3: the prudent sees dangers and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it.

The folks at drugfree.org recently released a guide to help parents understand current trends among teenagers in regards to alcohol consumption. In the guide, parents are given four answers to the question, “Why do young people drink alcohol?” The first answer is not surprising at all: I drink alcohol because my friends do. All of us know the push and pull of peer pressure from our own teenage years. Of course, media and advertising contribute to this everybody does it reality through glamorizing alcohol consumption. The second answer given by kids is that they drinking as a normal part of being social. Again, media has played a role in this. Third, kids say that alcohol helps them feel less anxious or depressed. And finally, there’s a reason given that simply boggles the mind: my parents are ok with it. Parents, when you are lenient, permissive, hosting parties, and providing a bad example, your kids are more prone to drink. Let’s get wise and do the right thing.

At one time or another, all of us were teenagers. And regardless of what generation you are from and when you went through your teenage years, you experienced having to navigate the developmental task of forming your identity. It’s during the teenage years that the search for the answer to the question “Who am I?” reaches it’s peak. In today’s social media saturated world in which our kids are encouraged to create your own authentic self, Identity is not longer seen as something we receive from outside of ourselves, but something which we choose and create for ourselves. In fact, in today’s world, our kids are always becoming rather than being. They are on a never-ending search for their true selves. This is evidenced in big ways in the way that kids are choosing rather than accepting their gender. What our kids need to know is that they have been created by God in the image of God, and when they are in Christ they are sons and daughters of God. That is where we are to find our identity.

We live in a world where conversations about sex and gender are all around us. According to the spirit of the times, each individual is sovereign over themselves, and therefore able to choose to live according to their feelings, desires, and preferences. But for the Christian, the foundation must be the Word of God. In his book Biblical Critical Theory, Christopher Watkin writes these words we must heed: “Genesis one is the single block on the bottom row of the Bible’s Jenga tower. If this one truth is removed or neglected, the whole edifice comes crashing down. The first verse of the Bible is really the foundation for everything else: “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. If we can understand the implications of that single verse, we are well on our way to answer the ‘so what?’ question of the whole of the Scriptures.” Parents, we must teach our kids that God has created sex and gender. He is sovereign over all, and we must live into his design, not our own.

I recently had a youth worker friend lament what’s happening in the lives of her students as the result of some bad habits their families have adopted. She told me that after doing a quick survey of her students, she learned that only about ten percent eat dinner with their families every night. She went on to say that some of the families rarely ate dinner together. She told me that she had discovered that one of her students was using drugs. When she went to that student’s parents to share what she had learned, the parents were flabbergasted. When the parents wondered how they had missed this with their child, my youth worker friend was able to help them understand that their lack of time together as a family made it easy for them to miss what was happening with their teenager. A recent study of families in Britain found that families spend, on average, just six hours together a week. Parents, God has given you a relationship with your children. Nurture takes place when we spend time together.

Those of us who live here in North America have been deeply blessed in terms of material provisions and wealth. Relative to the rest of the world’s population, we are incredibly rich. Jesus warned about the dangers of money and wealth, and these are warnings we must heed ourselves, and teach our children to heed as well. In Luke sixteen Jesus speaks these words, “No servant can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or her will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” I recently read these helpful clarifying words of commentary on this saying of Jesus: “Sin arises not when we possess riches but only when our riches possess us. To set our hearts on wealth is to turn away from God.” Parents, we need to model and teach a proper, God-glorifying perspective on money and wealth. We must warn our kids against idolatry, and to use all they have and will be given to God’s glory.

The American Psychological Association has released a new set of recommendations regarding teenagers and their use of social media. Likening social media use to getting behind the wheel of a car, APA President Thema Bryant says that “just as we require young people to be trained in order to get a driver’s license, our youth need instruction in the safe and healthy use of social media.” The APA recommends that this training should not be a once and done thing, but rather something that is revisited from time to time to reinforce best practices in an effort to protect kids from potential harm. Parents should also be setting borders and boundaries, along with monitoring their child’s social media use. Parents, this is a wise step to take as you fulfill your God-given responsibility to nurture and parent your children. Taking these steps might limit their exposure to content promoting self-harm, disordered eating, bigotry, sexual license, and gender fluidity. Be diligent with your kids.

I recently ran across the transcript from an interview I conducted fifteen years ago with theologian and author, David Wells. My last question to Dr Wells was this: If you were to address a room full of youth workers and you had the opportunity to communicate one message to them, what one message would you communicate? Here’s his answer, and it applies to parents as well: It is time to get brave. Let’s stop the pandering. Kids see right through it. Let’s give them the real thing. They are looking for it. No one has demanded anything of them; let us tell them that if they come to Christ, he bids them die. No one has told them that they can know truth as something other than their own private perspectives; let us tell them there is Truth and those who know it, lose their lives. No one has told them that there is a different way of life. If we tell them that they can have Christ on their own terms, we are selling them down the river. They instinctively know that. So, let us not make fools of ourselves anymore.

In her book, Live Your Truth and Other Lies, Alisa Childers says that there are endless ways that truth can be spun, manipulated, covered up, and even used to promote deception. Often, the lie is christened with religious-sounding language that makes it seem to feel right. Over my own years in ministry, I’ve come to understand that a half-truth is actually more dangerous than a complete lie. As Christians, we actually do a better job of spotting complete lies. But lacking well-honed skills of discernment, we also tend to jump right into half-truths. Childers issues this warning: Our culture is brimming with slogans that promise peace, fulfillment, freedom, empowerment, and hope. These messages have become such an integral part of our American consciousness that many people don’t even think to question them. They sound nice and carry an illusion of truth. The problem? They are lies. Parents, we need to teach our kids biblical discernment, and that begins with taking them into God’s Word.

As Christian parents, we must embrace the need to pray for our kids. But what should our expectations be regarding how we pray for our kids? Theologian J.G. Vos offers these helpful words: "We should expect and believe that God will answer our prayers in his own appointed time and way according to his holy will. That is, in all our praying we must be careful to maintain an attitude of submission to the sovereignty of God. We may never presume to dictate to God as to when and how our prayers are to be answered. If God in his sovereignty chooses to delay the answer to our prayers, we are not to become discouraged and give up praying; we are to exercise Christian patience, and keep on praying with 'perseverance, waiting upon him.' If God does not answer our prayers in the way we desired, we should realize that this is not an unkindness or lack of love on God's part, but because to grant our requests as we asked would not really be for God's glory and our own good."

Recently, there’s been a lot of conversation centered around the CDC’s latest edition of the Youth Risk Behavior Survey. The conversations are centered focused on of the findings related to teenagers and sexual behavior. The long-standing biannual survey continues to ask teens, “Have you ever had sexual intercourse?” The reality is that fewer teens are having sexual intercourse. But that does not mean that fewer teens are engaging in sexual activity. In fact, the kids themselves find the question to be out-dated, as there are many types of sexual activity and hook-ups that have become more and more common among our kids. For example, some kids talk about short-term hook-ups that are known as “situationships.” These are low commitment high-risk activities that might not be sexual intercourse. All this reminds us that our education regarding biblical sexuality is much-needed, perhaps now more than ever. Teach your kids God’s good design.

Today, I’d like to remind you of the passage in Deuteronomy six that’s known as the Shema. Listen carefully to these inspired words to parents. “Hear, O Israel, the Lord our god, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your head, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” As I read these words that remain as parental marching orders today, I am reminded of the need to consistently teach our children and teens the truths of God’s Word, in and through everything we do and everything we are. Are you consistently planting the seeds of God’s Word in your child’s life?

The late Dr. Paul Tournier, known by many as the twentieth century’s most famous Christian physician, wrote a book back in 1954 titled “The Meaning Of Persons” that offers some very helpful insights for today’s world as we try to figure out how to best navigate social media in healthy ways. Tournier said that we all have to recognize the disparity that exists between who we know ourselves to be on the inside, along with how we decide to present ourselves to other people. He calls this disparity the difference between what we know to be our person, and the personage we present to the world. Because social media allows us to create, fabricate, curate, and present a false self to our followers, this disparity can be especially wide in today’s world. Tournier says we become contradictory beings. The further apart our persons and our personages are, the greater will be our problems with mental health, for part of our lives will be lie. Could it be that this is at the heart of our kids mental health issues?

Today, I’d like to share with you a prayer from a little daily Scripture reading guide that I use titled “Seeking God’s Face.” This prayer is most timely for life in today’s world as each of us, young and old alike, works to navigate God’s good gift of sexuality to His glory and our good. Since sexual temptations are ever-present, this helpful short prayer is one that each of us can share with our kids. Here’s the prayer: “Covenant God, we know the well-worn path of sexual sin – a lingering look, a lustful desire, a wicked thought, a world of invitation, and finally the actual act. Single or married, keep us true to your intention for the bodies you gave, always honoring you and others in them. In Christ’s name. Amen.” Parents, I encourage you to help your kids understand not only the goodness of their sexuality, but the many ways in which our sinful and broken selves so easily go astray. Share with them the universality of sexual sin, and point them to the God who promised to give them a way out.

Sometimes some research comes along that confirms what we already know just from intuition. But we need to listen to that research as it reminds us of things that should be getting our attention. A new study published in the Journal of Family Psychology found that chaotic home environments have a negative influence on family communication, specifically leading to reduced conversations and sharing between teenagers and their mothers. A chaotic home is one that breeds the kinds of unpredictability and tension that leads kids to clam up and avoid conversations. Parents, the responsibility to maintain peace in our homes falls on us. We need to eat together, engage in fun activities together, attend worship together, and pray together as we nurture our children in the faith. Our prayers must echo the words of this benediction: the Lord make his face to shine upon us, and be gracious to us. The Lord lift up His countenance upon us, and give us peace, this day and forever more.

Parents, do you struggle to figure out how to best guide your children and teens through the difficult realities of life in today’s world? If you do, you are not alone. Our rapidly changing world can leave our heads spinning. Dr. James Montgomery Boice offers up these words of advice and remedy that I have found to be personally helpful: Study the bible daily. We should discipline our lives to include regular periods of Bible study, just as we discipline ourselves to have regular periods for sleep, eating our meals, and so on. These things are necessary if the body is to be healthy and if good work is to be done. In the same way, we must feed regularly on God’s Word if we are to become and remain spiritually strong.” These helpful words from James Boice are a good guideline as we parent in today’s world. Only the regular study of God’s word can give us the perspective and wisdom we need to raise our kids in the midst of culture’s many pressures. Parents, point your kids to God’s unchanging word.

One of the most difficult issues parents find themselves navigating in today’s smartphone and social media saturated world relates to setting proper borders and boundaries for their kids when it comes to devices and online time. Many parents I run into lament putting a smartphone in the hands of their children and teens. Most did it for a couple of reasons. First, to know where their kids are and to keep them safe. And second, they don’t want their kids to feel left out when their circle of friends are all on smartphones and social media. I recently heard some great advice from actress Jennifer Garner regarding how she has kept her three kids, ages seventeen, thirteen, and eleven, off social media. She says, “I just said to my kids, show me the articles that prove that social media is good for teenagers, and then we’ll have the conversation. Find scientific evidence that matches what I have that says it’s not good for teenagers, then we’ll chat.” Parents, this is a great way to navigate this issue with your kids.

In today’s world, our kids are encouraged by the cultural narrative to live their lives at the level of their experiences and feelings. If a decision needs to be made or a belief is embraced, those decisions and beliefs should be based solely not on some outside authority, but on the authority of one’s own opinions. For the Christian, the only trustworthy authority is God’s unchanging Word. In his second letter to Timothy, the Apostle Paul reminds timothy to embrace the Scriptures, which are able to make us wise for salvation through faith in Jesus Christ.” Paul continues, “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.” Paul is telling all of us to submit our beliefs and behaviors to trustworthy authority of God’s Word. The late James Montgomery Boice says this: “We must evaluate our experiences by the Bible’s teaching, rather than the other way around.”

I recently read about a group that is working to address a growing issue facing families and schools. The organization is called the School Avoidance Alliance and it exists to address the issue of school avoidance, which is when a child refuses to attend school or has difficulty remaining in school the entire day. The alliance tells us that child motivated refusal to attend school or remain in class is not uncommon. In fact, school avoidance affects anywhere from five to twenty-eight percent of youth at some time. The listed causes include phobias, anxiety disorders of all types, ptsd, learning differences, bullying, and mental health issues. Because school avoidance is a sign of deeper issues, we suggest that you seek out the help of a qualified Christian counselor if school avoidance is an issue in your family. Don’t overlook the fact that Pointing school avoidant kids to reassuring Scriptures about God’s provision and protection is one necessary intervention strategy.

Sadly, alcohol use and abuse has been seen as a normal rite of passage for kids over the course of several generations. But do you know that aside from the moral and spiritual reasons to be concerned, there are a host of other reasons to be concerned about kids using alcohol? The folks at drugfree.org list the following reasons for concern. First, alcohol does damage to a teenager’s developing brain. Second, alcohol use leads to risky behaviors. Third, teens run the risk of drinking and driving while impaired, a habit that can end lives and change families forever. Fourth, alcohol use contributes to poor mental health and is a significant factor in youth suicide. Fifth, alcohol use can lead to chronic health problems. Sixth, there is the danger of alcohol poisoning, which can be fatal. And finally, there is always the risk of addiction. Parents, you have the greatest influence on your kids beliefs and the resulting behaviors. Warn them about the dangers of alcohol use, and set up clear boundaries.

Those of us who embraced the Christian faith during our childhood and teenage years have memories of how hard it was to live faithful lives in a midst of a culture that encouraged us to do otherwise. Much of our difficulty came from the presence of negative peer pressure. This kind of difficulty is present in the lives of our Christian kids today, but is even more pronounced due to the changes taking place in today’s culture. We would do well to share these words from the late justice Antonin Scalia. “God assumed from the beginning that the wise of the world would view Christians as fools and he has not been disappointed. Devout Christians are destined to be regarded as fools in modern society. We must pray for courage to endure the scorn of the sophisticated world. If I have brought any message today, it is this: Have the courage to have your wisdom regarded as stupidity. Be fools for Christ. And have courage to suffer the contempt of the sophisticated world.” Parents, share these words with your kids.

All this week we’ve been looking at Paul Tripp’s parenting book, Age of Opportunity, and the five signs that our teenagers have a heart for God. Today, we look at the fifth sign. Tripp says that teens who have a heart for God will endeavor to approach decision-making from a biblical perspective. A child who is pursuing God will have a heart for doing what is right. We can’t be content with raising teens whose decisions are impulsive, emotion-driven, and self-centered. We must hold a higher standard before them. We need to model and encourage what Paul Tripp calls a “Godward reference,” instilling in our teens a desire to do everything to the glory of God. The most important question in any situation is, “What does God want me to think, desire, say, and do?” And, we want them to embrace the Bible as their most important tool in making the critical and practical decisions of life. Parents, never stop praying that your children will develop a deep heart for God.

All this week we’re looking at Paul Tripp’s parenting book, Age of Opportunity, and the five signs that our teenagers have a heart for God. Today, we look at the fourth sign. Tripp says that teens who have a heart for God will be relaxed and open to discussions about spiritual things. We should not expect or accept our teenagers’ being closed and defensive to spiritual things. Paul Tripp says that we should seek to nurture our children to love the Lord and his word. Our kids need to grow up to understand that God’s word speaks to every situation of life, and they should be hungry to be guided and corrected by God’s Word. We want our kids to be humble and open to God’s guidance. They need to know that they need God’s help, and they should seek it. Parents, evaluate your teenager. How open is he or she to talking about spiritual things. Continually pray for your teen. Pray for their hearts and minds. Ask God to give them a hunger and thirst to talk about God and His word.

All this week we’re looking at Paul Tripp’s parenting book, Age of Opportunity, and the five signs that our teenagers have a heart for God. Today, we look at the third sign. Tripp says that teens who have a heart for God will pursue fellowship with the body of Christ. He will want to spend time with others who also love God. He will look for peers who share his faith and his desire to be involved in Christian community. This is the teenager who leaves for college and begins his time on campus by checking out the Christian fellowship opportunities. This is the teen who will seek out other Christians in his high school. And, he will value the help, prayers, encouragement, experience, insight, and wisdom of the older members of the body of Christ. Parents, our greatest desire should be to see our children grow up to pursue, love, and serve Jesus Christ. Ask God to embrace your teen and to create in your teen a desire to be in active fellowship with other Christians.

All this week we’re looking at Paul Tripp’s parenting book, Age of Opportunity, and the five signs that our teenagers have a heart for God. Today, we look at the second sign. Tripp says that teens who have a heart for God will have a desire to be involved in corporate worship and instruction. A teenager who is glad to go to church services and who does not need to be threatened to be there will be there for two primary reasons. First, he will enjoy worship because worship expresses his heartfelt love and thanksgiving for God and his work. Second, he will find enjoyment in being with people who share his desire to praise God. He will be there because he finds that corporate worship helps him focus on the most important thing in life, the existence of God and his glory. A teen who has a heart for the pursuit of God may not be able to put this desire for worship into words, but he will want to be in worship. Pray that your teen develops a heart for God and a passion for worship.

There are so many voices in our culture that cry out to our kids, summoning their allegiance and defining what’s most important in life. Sadly, few of these voices encourage them to have a heart for God. All this week, I want to share with you the signs of a heart for God that Paul Tripp identifies in his wonderful parenting book, Age of Opportunity. Paul Tripp says that the first sign of a heart for God is an independent life of personal worship and devotion. A teen with a heart for God spends personal time with the Lord. He will want to read the Bible and spend time in prayer. She will carve out time in the midst of her busy and chaotic schedule to study the scriptures. Tripp says that it’s not likely that your teen will get up every morning at five a.m. to read and pray for two hours, but there will be a developing life of personal devotion. Parents, pray that your teen will develop a deep hunger and thirst to know God, to study God’s word, and to pray.

There are two phrases in Scripture that we must pay attention to, understand, and teach to our kids. They are, “In this life”, and “In the end.” These two phrases are so helpful in giving us a proper perspective on the difficult things we will face in this world. When we read the Bible we learn that in this life there will be pain, sorrow, disease, discord, decay, death, and a host of other realities. This life is filled with all kinds of things as a result of human sin and the world not being the way its supposed to be. Be we do not live as those who have no hope. You see, in the end will be the glorious restoration of all things to the way they are supposed to be. And so, we will find ourselves living now with both heartache and hope as we groan with all creation for that day when our mourning will be turned into dancing! Are you teaching your kids to live their lives in light of eternity? Or, are you leaving them to a cultural narrative which encourages them to live as they wish for the moment?

In the past you’ve heard me say that roughly seventy-percent of our kids who play organized sports drop out by the age of thirteen. One of the main reasons cited is the pressure they feel from parents and coaches, a pressure that becomes unbearable and which drains the fun out of playing the sport. Now that we live in a social media saturated world, there seems to be a new reason for our kids to drop out of sports. A recent survey found that kids are dropping out due to the fact that they don’t think their bodies measure up to the idealized athletic body types they are seeing on social media. Researchers found that kids who had concluded they didn’t have the right body were defining the right body by what they saw on TikTok and Instagram. Not surprisingly this reason for dropping out was cited more often by our girls than by our boys. Parents, we need to promote the value of Godly character over body type, and we need to encourage our kids to play and have fun.

I’ve always been fascinated by reports that deliver data on how values, attitudes, and behaviors have changed from one generation to another. The American Enterprise Institute recently released a report that had some discouraging and some encouraging news. For my generation of baby-boomers, fifty-four percent, reported drinking alcohol or smoking pot or cigarettes occasionally during their teen years. For Gen Z, born between 1997 and 2012, that number has decreased to thirty-two percent. This is encouraging news that should drive us to keep our prevention efforts moving forward. The discouraging news is that while seventy one percent of Baby Boomers attended religious services during their teen years, that number has dropped to fifty-two percent for those from Gen Z. Parents, our greatest desire for our kids is to see them grow up to become faithful followers of Jesus Christ. Being an active member of a church should be part of their teen experience.

The folks at Defend Young Minds have released a list of the three top reasons why more our girls are seeking out and engaging with pornography. To know the reasons is to know how to push back on this trend. First, our girls are feeling a growing pressure from boys to watch pornography. Girls are feeling compelled to conform to these expectations. We must respond by helping them understand the immoral nature of these expectations, along with encouraging them to feel the freedom to come and talk to us when they encounter the expectations. Second, may girls accidentally discover pornography, many times through social media feeds and chat groups. Borders and boundaries are needed, along with parental oversight, and again, the encouragement to talk openly with us as parents. Finally, they go to pornography out of curiosity. Parents, remember that your child’s sex education needs to be rooted in Scripture, along with what you are teaching them in the home.

In his classic old book, “With Christ in the School of Prayer”, Andrew Murray offers us some sage advice that should spark our own regular self-reflection. It’s also advice we can pass on to our kids as we teach them to engage in self-reflection, both now and for the rest of their lives. Murray writes this: “The tone of my life during the day is God’s criterion of what I really am and desire.” What Murray was saying is that how I live moment by moment – the choices I make, the things I say, how I spend my time, and how I spend my money – all of those things speak loudly about who and what I worship. Regardless of what I might say, my life offers clear and unmistakable evidence of who I am and what I worship. I don’t know about you, but that causes me to pause and really consider whether I am truly endeavoring to follow Jesus Christ. Parents, your kids are watching you, and the tone of your life during the day will become their guideline for who they should be and what they should really desire. All of us must take up our cross and follow Jesus daily.

A professor starts his recent article in Christianity Today magazine with this sentence: “As I prepare to begin my tenth year as a seminary professor, I’m going to begin the biblical capstone class I’ll be teaching by recommending that my students consider taking up a habit they’re likely unfamiliar with: bringing an actual, physical, printed-and bound Bible to class.” Kudos to this professor for taking this step. The presence of smartphones and Bible apps, which are not bad things in and of themselves, has led more and more believers to never carry or read an actual paper Bible. Without a physical bible we can easily lose our sense of the Genesis to Revelation narrative of redemption. We are limited in our ability to understand context. It is more difficult to cross-reference passages. We don’t read as deeply on the screen. And, we are more easily distracted. With Christmas coming, why not set each of your kids up with the gift a good, old-fashioned, physical Bible?

Last Thanksgiving, our adult children all came to our house with our grandchildren to share the traditional Thanksgiving meal. Because our family has grown over the years, we had to get creative with moving furniture around in order to make one large table that would accommodate seventeen people. But it was all worth it as we were able to share a meal and conversation around the table. As I was looking around the table, I got to thinking about how eating together as a family is a disappearing reality for so many. A recent survey from the American Enterprise Institute found that seventy-six percent of the members of my baby-boomer generation say that having regular family meals was a part of their childhood experience. It was consistently a part of my own family experience. Now, only thirty-eight percent of the members of Generation Z, born between 1997 and 2012, report having regular family meals. Parents, make meal-time a valuable family time, and hold it sacred.

In our good and necessary efforts to teach our kids God’s good creational design for sexuality and gender, I’m afraid that we can oftentimes unintentionally leave our kids less than compassionate towards those who are struggling with sex and gender confusion, or who are choosing to believe and live into the current cultural narrative. One of the things I tell parents is that we do not have a good history of treating those who believe and behave differently in ways that Christ would treat them. A recent survey found, not surprisingly, that self-identifying bisexual, gay, and lesbian Americans report higher rates of bullying than those who are heterosexuals. Thirty-five percent of heterosexuals report being bullied during their teen years, while fifty-six percent of gay or lesbian, and sixty-two percent of bisexuals report being bullied as teens. We must teach our kids to recognize sin, but to also be compassionate to all of God’s divine image-bears.

I recently read a piece in the New York Times written by Callie Holterman. The headline read, “In candy shades and eggy shapes, many of today’s most popular vaping devices look like toys. Experts worry they will hook a new generation of users.” After reading the article, I went online to look through one of the many online vape outlets that serve as clearinghouses for a host of vaping devices and supplies. I was greeted with everything Holterman’s article discussed, along with four hundred and twenty different products from which to choose. I was invited to shop by brand or type, along with an option for shopping by flavor, with flavors listed being too long to mention here, but including things like Banana, Grape, Lush Ice, and Blue Razz. . . all designed to attract new young users. Parents, you need to know that vaping is not a safe alternative to smoking conventional cigarettes. They are addictive and dangerous. Teach your kids to steward their bodies to God’s glory.