Youth Culture Today with Walt Mueller

Parents, are you aware that the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation is warning parents, educators, caregivers, teens, and children about the growing tide of online dangers that they say may lead to the solicitation and enticement of minors to engage in sexual acts. Known as “sextortion”, this danger involves a perpetrator coercing a minor to create and send sexually explicit material. If the perpetrator gets the sexually explicit material, they will then threaten to release those pictures online unless the victim produces more of the same, or unless the victim sends a payment often in gift cards, wire transfers, mobile payment services, or cryptocurrency. Sextortion victims are most often males between the ages of fourteen and seventeen, but anyone of any age or gender can become a victim. Parents, teach your kids to never engage in online communication with someone they don’t know, and teach them God’s good design for the sacred gift of their sexuality.

Our friends over at the First Things Journal recently passed on some interesting words from Gen Z writer, Freya India, that she had posted on her Substack online newsletter. Her take on Gen Z, those born between 1997 and 2012, is insightful. “It’s hard to put this into words but I think, in some ways, what we actually want is to be humbled. People say we crave belonging and connection, but what if we also crave commandments? What if we are desperate to be delivered from something? To be at the mercy of something? I think we underestimate how hard it is for young people today to feel their way through life with out moral guardrails and guidance, to follow the whims and wishes of our ego and be affirmed by adults every step of the way. I’m not sure that’s actual freedom. And if it is, I’m not sure freedom is what anyone of us actually wants.” India’s words help us understand that our kids are longing for redemption. And the answer is found only in following Jesus Christ.

Because we have been made for relationships, it’s important that our kids develop healthy friendships where they learn how to relate to others, how to play together, and how to solve conflicts. The C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital National Poll on Children’s Health recently asked the parents of six to twelve year old children about their children’s friendships. Nineteen percent of parents report that their child either has no friends or not enough friends. In addition, seventy-one percent of parents say that they’ve taken action over the course of the last year to help their child make new friends, including setting up playdates and befriending other parents. There is an epidemic of loneliness among today’s emerging generations, and we need to do what we can to encourage them into positive friendships, especially with those who will encourage them to grow in their relationships to the Lord. Parents, Proverbs tells us that he who walks with the wise, grows wise.

I recently read an article in Scientific American by Melinda Wenner Moyer, all about the role of unstructured play in setting kids on a course for healthy child development. Moyer cites the story of twenty-five year old Charles Whitman, who back in 1966 climbed to the top of tower on the campus of the University of Texas and proceeded to shoot forty-six people, killing seventeen. The killing sparked an effort to understand why anyone would do such a thing. Mental health professionals interviewed Whitman along with twenty-six other convicted Texas murderers. Most of the killers had two things in common: they grew up in abusive families, and they never played as children. The takeaway here is not that playing as a child will prevent one from engaging in criminal behavior. Rather, further studies since then have confirmed that letting kids engage in free, imaginative play is a crucial factor in health social, emotional, and cognitive development. Parents, let your children play!

C.S. Lewis once said, “God whispers to us in our pleasures, but shouts to us in our pains.” Those words capture a truth that the Scriptures put forth from Genesis to Revelation. It seems that whenever God would do his greatest work in the lives of those he loved, he would bring about great spiritual growth and increased faith through the gift of pain. In today’s world, we are taught to avoid pain and pursue pleasure. In addition, we’ve been led to believe that if we are experiencing the pain of difficulty and difficult times, God must be absent. But the Bible teaches us the exact opposite. God is present in our sufferings. How is it that we miss this truth so easily? As parents, there will be times of great hearthache, pain, and difficulty. Never forget that these are the times where God is parenting us, where he is doing great work, and where he is nurturing us into people who are totally dependent on him and on nothing else. Consider it all joy when you experience God’s love in pain.

I’ve been reading with great interest some articles in Salvo magazine that have been written by Dr. Bruce Woodall. In his encounters with young patients who are questioning their sexuality and gender, Dr. Woodall carefully and compassionately addresses their questions and confusion by pointing them to God’s good design for sex and gender. He writes, “I am concerned that youth are receiving a cultural message that sexual attraction is purely a subjective and private feeling experience that can legitimately go any direction, rather than something rooted in the created order and made for the purpose of procreation as possible only in the union of an XX female and XY male. Such thinking opens the door not only to dangerous sexual experimentation, but to a failure in developing the strength of character necessary for impulse control, setting youth on a path that can lead to a life lost in hedonistic nihilism or sexual addictions.” Parents, we need to tell our kids the truth.

From time to time I tell you about the power that marketing has over our kids. Marketing not only peddles products, but it also sells and promotes a world view. Yes, marketing shapes the way that our kids look at and live life. But our kids aren’t the only targets that marketing so effectively hits. Marketing also shapes us adults. It’s for that reason that I want to sound a warning that relates to one message marketing so effectively is sending to us as parents. That message is this: don’t grow old. It seems that we’re listening as we older folks have become obsessed over our appearance, our clothing, our complexions, our body shapes, and more. We spend billions and billions of dollars trying to stop something that just can’t be stopped. Ultimately, this is idolatry. And in the process, we’re teaching our kids to grow up to worship the idol of youthfulness as well. Parents, consider what it is that you worship, and the message you’re sending to your kids about what’s most important in life.

Today I want to talk to you about how my beliefs have changed over the years regarding high school graduates and higher education. When I graduated from high school, I lived in a culture where it was assumed that the next step for anyone who hoped to be responsible was to go immediately on to college, and then to graduate in four years. But a changing culture, economic realities, college debt, and a more clear understanding of work and calling have led me to a new understanding of what happens after high school. We no longer live in a one size fits all higher ed environment. I believe that far too many of our kids head straight off to college with no idea regarding their giftedness and calling. Parents, maybe we should require our kids to hold off from college enrollment. Pray with them regarding their giftedness and calling. Then, send them in the right direction, to the right place, at the right time in order to prepare them for a lifetime of service to God.

Inhalants are a class of drugs which are easy to obtain, inexpensive, and popular, especially among younger teenagers who have difficulty obtaining alcohol and other drugs. They’re one of the most widely used classes of drugs among our middle school kids, and even those who are younger will experiment with them. Known for years as “huffing” and now known as “chroming”, sniffing common household products like solvents and cleaners is extremely dangerous. Not surprisingly, there’s been an uptick in the practice thanks to the presence of social media. Researchers looked at over one hundred chroming videos, many of them on TikTok, which have garnered over twenty five million views. We need to warn our kids about the dangers of inhalant use, letting them know that dizziness, brain damage, addiction, and even death can occur. Parents, we’ve been given the high calling and privilege of teaching our kids to steward their bodies to God’s glory. Warn them about the dangers of substance abuse.

Today we celebrate Thanksgiving. Many of us have gathered to enjoy a day filled with conversation, an abundance of food, and perhaps some football. If you’re like me, many of these long-held holiday traditions could wind up filling the day so full that we actually forget to pause and give thanks to God for His many blessings. This year, I’ve resolved to spend some time alone to pause and give thanks to God. I encourage you to do the same. I’m going to go outside and look around. I am grateful for my eyesight and for the all the beautiful things he put in the world for me to see. I will thank God for the people he has placed in my life. I will thank him for the luxuries of life that I tend to take for granted as if I deserve them. Finally, I am going to thank God for the difficulties of life. Perhaps your circumstances have you focused on your difficulties. If so, give thanks. It is through difficulties that God leads us to a deeper faith and dependence on Him.

Precocious puberty, also known as early puberty, takes place when a child’s body begins to change into an adult body too soon. In today’s world, puberty usually begins for girls around age eight, and around age nine for our boys. In recent years, there has also been research showing that in general, our kids are reaching puberty at earlier and earlier ages. There have been lots of different theories put forward regarding what’s causing this. Researchers tell us that one factor which triggers early puberty in girls are the fragrance producing chemicals that are in the commercial beauty and skin-care products that flood the market, and that have become especially popular among pre-teen and younger girls in recent years. Research indicates these fragrances have the potential to stimulate parts of the brain that trigger early puberty, risks of psychological problems, heart disease, and breast cancer associated with early puberty. Parents, keep an eye on the products your kids are using.

As a baby boomer, I’m part of a generation that believed that adulthood began at age eighteen, which usually coincided with the time a teenager graduated from high school and went into the work force or off to college. For generation z – those born between 1997 and 2012 – there’s the belief that adulthood doesn’t begin until sometime around the ages of twenty-seven to thirty. Researchers found that only eleven percent of Gen Z-ers say they feel like adults. One reason for this is that they don’t have the financial stability they believe they need to be considered adults, including being able to pay all their own bills, contributing to a retirement account, and having a life insurance policy. In fact, forty percent of those surveyed don’t think they’ll ever be financially stable. Perhaps we need to be more intentional about raising our kids to take on responsibility, coddling them less, requiring them to learn the value of work, and teaching them principles of biblical stewardship.

Here’s an interesting strategy to consider as you think about how to lead the teenagers you know away from a culturally-influenced self-centered lifestyle, to a God-centered lifestyle: pray for crisis to enter their lives. Self-centeredness with no room for God plays and advances well in a youth culture that feeds the beast of self-absorption from a deep well of luxury and wealth. Sometimes it’s not until the well runs dry through poverty, want, or crisis that our kids understand their thirst for what it really is – a longing not after self, but after God. While our kids might not see it as such, it’s a blessing when the clay feet on which a self-centered lifestyle is built crumble to dust. Sadly, that’s oftentimes what it takes for them to reach out to their heavenly Father. As John Stott reminds us about the prodigal son, “he had to ‘come to himself’ by acknowledging his self-centeredness, before he could ‘come to his father.’” While we hate to see our kids hurt, sometimes that hurt helps!

All this week we’ve been looking at David Kinnaman and Mark Matlock’s book Faith for Exiles, and the five ministry practices churches and families must pursue to lead kids into life-long faith. The research done by Kinnaman and Matlock indicates that in order to form a lasting faith, we must curb the cultural tendency toward entitlement and self-centeredness by getting our kids engaged in counter-cultural mission. This does not mean that we need to be sure they get involved in a missions trip once or twice a year. Sure, those experiences can be valuable for our kids. But engaging in countercultural mission means living as a faithful presence wherever we are, by trusting God’s power and living differently from cultural norms. This means that we bloom for God as His ambassador wherever we are planted. We need to teach our kids to play to his glory, study to his glory, conduct themselves in relationships to his glory, and live every moment to his glory. Let’s pray that our kids grow to embrace and live the faith!

All this week we’re looking at David Kinnaman and Mark Matlock’s book Faith for Exiles, and the five ministry practices churches and families must pursue to lead kids into life-long faith. The research done by Kinnaman and Matlock indicates that in order to form a lasting faith, we must ground and motivate our kids through training for vocational discipleship. This means that they know and live out God’s calling on their lives, especially in the arena of work while conforming their ambitions to God’s purposes. In today’s world, the culture teaches our kids to pursue work and vocation as a passport to privilege. Rather than seeing work as a way to serve God and further His kingdom, our work is about making money, pursuing fame, and building up the kingdom of me, myself, and I. One of the key opportunities facing the twenty-first-century church is to help kids learn that they have been made for something, and that something is a life where faith is integrated into their work.

All this week we’re looking at David Kinnaman and Mark Matlock’s book Faith for Exiles, and the five ministry practices churches and families must pursue to lead kids into life-long faith. The research done by Kinnaman and Matlock indicates that in order to form a lasting faith, we must work to create a church and family culture where rather than separating the generations, meaningful intergenerational relationships are formed with fellow believers who live and model a deep faith in Jesus Christ. Our culture is marked by isolation and mistrust between different generations. Some specific ways to make this happen include starting a mentoring program at your church where an older believer is paired with a young person. Our worship services should be inter-generational rather than generationally-segmented. And our homes should be places where our kids are exposed to older Christians as we practice hospitality. Endeavor to give your kids the gift of sitting under the wisdom of those who are older.

All this week we’re looking at David Kinnaman and Mark Matlock’s book Faith for Exiles, and the five ministry practices churches and families must pursue to lead kids into life-long faith. The research done by Kinnaman and Matlock indicates that in order to form a lasting faith, we must lead our kids into developing the muscles of cultural discernment. Exercising cultural discernment means that we all must take part in a robust learning community that seeks, under the authority of the Bible, to wisely navigate today’s rapidly changing culture. This means that we must develop their ability to compare the beliefs, values, customs, and creations of the world we live in with those of the world we belong to, which is the Kingdom of God. And once that comparison has been made, we need to anchor our lives to the theological, ethical, and moral norms of God’s Kingdom. Parents, in order to lead your kids into living counter-culturally to the glory of God, you must be doing the same.

With so many of our young adults graduating from high school and walking away from the faith, what can we do to lead them to embrace a lasting faith? All this week we’re going to look at David Kinnaman and Mark Matlock’s book Faith for Exiles, and the five ministry practices churches and families must pursue to lead kids into life-long faith. The research done by Kinnaman and Matlock indicates that in order to form a lasting faith, we must lead our kids into experiencing intimacy with Jesus. This is best done by clearing what they call the religious clutter that so easily sidetracks us. We’ve been complicit in presenting a Jesus to compete at the same level as our other affinities and affiliations. In addition we’ve expected way too little from our kids. They are more willing to be challenged than the church is willing to challenge them. And, parents must be living a life of spiritual vitality where they give everything they have and are over to Jesus. Let’s lead our kids into a deep and lasting faith.

Concentrate hard as I tell you about a new word that’s appeared in the always changing lexicon regarding sexuality and gender in today’s world. The word is “allocishet.” It’s spelled A-l-l-o-c-i-s-h-e-t. It’s actually a combination of three words. Allo, which means other describes those people who experience romantic attractions to others. Cis is short for cisgender, which indicates a person whose gender identity aligns with his or her biological sex. Het is short for heterosexual, which indicates someone who is attracted to the opposite sex. Combine cis and het and you have a word describing someone who is not LGBTQ+. The word allocishet describes what used to be seen as someone normal because they lived into their biological gender as a heterosexual. According to the current cultural narrative, anyone who is allocishet is seen as an oppressor. We need to teach our kids it’s a label used negatively for those who embrace God’s good design for sex and gender.

One of my own kids favorite events during their elementary school years was the annual book fair. A section of the cafeteria would be set up with a huge display put on by the folks at Scholastic Books. On their website, Scholastic Books tells us that just last year alone, twenty-eight million kids attended school book fairs, and that one hundred million books got into kids’ hands from the fair. If you click around on the Scholastic Books website you’ll soon discover that the company is now promoting a “read with pride” campaign, as they are, and I quote, “proud to celebrate LGBTQIA+ stories with new and award winning books for kids and teens!” Scroll down the page and you will learn about pride-themed books for young adults, for kids ages eight to twelve, and for readers as young as three to five. Our kids are forming their beliefs and behaviors all through their childhood and teen years. And with so many voices teaching them about sex and gender, it’s imperative that we teach them God’s design.

Imagine a factory where the workers come in for eight hour shifts. At the end of each shift, a whistle blows to signal that it’s time to pack up and go home. It’s eight hours of work and then time to punch out. There’s a new and different working trend among young adults that’s been labeled as “grind culture” or “hustle culture.” Works days are marked by a work hard and don’t go home mentality, all in an effort to increase production and climb the ladder. The World Health Organization reports that four hundred and eighty-eight million people around the world are putting in more than fifty five hours a week at work. As Christians, we are to work as unto the Lord. We are to be hard workers who pursue excellence. But if the motivating factor to our hard work is about bringing glory to something or someone other than God, then we are engaging in idolatry. Teach your children to see work as an act of worship, without sacrificing time with family, and time with the Lord.

Today, I want to talk about a research finding that might make your kids angry, but it might also help your kids perform better in school. A study published in the Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine found that a student’s cognitive performance may be improved if they walk to school, rather than be driven to school in a car or on the bus. It seems that God has wired our bodies in such a way that teenagers who engage in physical activity early in the morning wind up stimulating their brains in ways that contribute to increased cognitive performance during the school day. And because adolescent females are typically less active than their male peers, that early morning walk is especially helpful to our girls. While researchers do say that there are actually a multiplicity of factors that could be at work here, one thing is sure: this research reminds us that God made us as integrated beings. To be balanced, our kids need to get enough exercise. Make sure your kids are active and not dormant.

Last month, a bipartisan group of attorney generals from the District of Columbia and thirteen states came together to file lawsuits against TikTok, a social media platform popular among kids which they say was designed to be addictive to young users, and which harms the mental health of the developing young people who use it. At issue is the algorithm TikTok uses to customize which video content is sent to a user’s feed, all based on the user’s past preferences. This not only takes kids down into seemingly endless rabbitholes where they watch and watch and watch, but the suit alleges this leads to addiction. California attorney general Rob Banta says, “TikTok cultivates social media addiction to boost corporate profits. TikTok intentionally targets children because they know kids do not yet have the defenses or capacity to create healthy boundaries around addictive content.” Parents- do you know who can and should create healthy boundaries? It’s you!

How easy it would be if adolescence were an overnight phenomena. But the process of moving from childhood to adulthood takes time. In today’s world, the assumption that the adolescent years cease and a teen becomes an adult at the age of 18 is no longer valid. New discoveries regarding the human brain, along with a host of cultural forces, like later marriage, extended college education, massive debt, living at home, and delayed maturity have fueled things like extended adolescence and emerging adulthood. Some are even wondering if adolescence extends to the age of 30! This process can be grueling and frustrating for those parents who desperately want to see their kids make good choices on the road to adulthood, and arrive at the destination sooner rather than later. The tables turn and we become the ones asking over and over, “Are we there yet?!?” Remember, God is at work and the process may take some time. Be patient with your children as God is at work in their lives.

If you remember back to your own adolescent years, you probably remember how your emotions were at times like a roller-coaster. One minute you were happy. The next minute you were sad. Sure it differs from person to person and day to day, but those of us who work with or are raising kids know that teenagers can be up and down. A new survey from the Gallup organization has looked at the emotions of today’s ten to eighteen year olds, specifically asking them about the emotions they felt during the prior day. Overall, ninety-four percent say they had experienced happy emotions at some point during the prior day. Forty-five percent said they had felt stress. Thirty-eight percent report feeling anxiety, and twenty-three percent experienced sadness. Not surprisingly, these percentages were all higher for our girls than for our boys. Parents, be aware that your kids are experiencing a spectrum of emotions, and before giving them guidance and direction, take time to listen and to understand.

A Reddit user recently threw out this question to school teachers: “What screams ‘I have unlimited screen time’ in students?” Their answers give insights and warnings parents should hear and heed regarding digital addiction, distraction, attention deficit trait, relational breakdown, cognitive decline, the power of influencers, desensitization, and more. One second grade teacher responds, “I hear kids saying ‘my hand hurts’ while they are trying to write just one paragraph or cut out a square with scissors.” Another teacher says, “The kids don’t know what to do with themselves without an iPad.” Finally, one teacher says, “Watch how they act when their access to computers, phones, and ipads is cut off. We had a major internet outage, no signal, no wifi. The kids with decent parents groaned, pouted for a minute, and found something else to do. The kids with unlimited screen time had a complete meltdown for hours.” Parents, take note. Be a decent parent who sets borders and boundaries.

Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE) is a degenerative brain disease found in those who have had repetitive brain trauma, which cannot be diagnosed accurately until one’s brain is examined after death. Looking back over the histories of deceased athletes, researchers have discovered that there are cases of CTE in athletes who never experienced a concussion. A connection has now been made between higher odds of developing CTE as a result of the number and strength of non-concussive head impacts experienced over one’s lifetime, also known as subclinical traumatic brain injuries (TBI), which typically show no immediate signs or symptoms. It’s not a single injury that causes the disease, but instead accumulation of microtrauma from thousands of hits over years. Parents, many of these unseen TBI’s take place in youth sports where the brain is developing and most vulnerable. Parents, you are called to steward the God-given safety of your kids bodies and brains!

One of the many new time-taking activities afforded to us by our ever-present smartphones is scrolling through online videos and reels. If you only take into account the YouTube video platform, about three-point-seven million new videos are uploaded every day. Talk about a rabbit-hole! Add to that Instagram and tiktok videos, and we could spend a lifetime looking at people scaring other people, people trying to back boats down boatramps, and cats doing whatever silly stuff cats do. A new study published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology has found that swiping through online videos to relieve boredom may actually make people more bored and less satisfied or engaged with the content. This is caused primarily by our habit of digital switching, or watching only short snippets rather than complete videos. What would happen if rather than engaging in this digital switching, we invested our time engaging with real-life family and friends? Would that relieve our boredom?

All teenagers face great temptation. All teenagers make sinful choices that are at times devastating to themselves and to others. It’s who we are as broken human beings. But here’s some great advice for parents: The most important factor in determining whether that bad choice turns into a situation that gets better or worse is parental response. What would happen if your goal would be to redeem these situations by turning a mistake into an opportunity for your teenager to become a more Christ-like person? I am constantly reminded of my responsibility to treat my sinful children the way my heavenly Father treats me when I’m the offending party – because there isn’t a day that goes by when I’m not. I learned a great lesson from Dr. John White when he was asked how he’d learned to relate to his own son’s rebellious and sinful choices. Dr. White said he’s learned to live his life according to this simple and profound principle: “As Christ is to me, so must I be to my children.”

If you don’t think that marketing to kids and concerns about body image aren’t having an impact on children when they are of elementary school age, think again. Thanks to kids using smartphones and gaining access to TikTok and YouTube influencers, even pre-pubescent girls are concerned about the effects of aging on their skin. Consequently, many are spending large amounts of their parents’ money and huge amounts of time on high-end skin care products and routines including moisturizers, masks, mists, and cleansers. It’s gotten to the point that this is what a growing number of our pre-teen girls are asking for on their birthday gift lists. We should be concerned about their susceptibility to marketing and peer pressure, the promotion of vanity, and the resulting cost both financially and in terms of stress and anxiety. But we also need to be concerned about the growing body of evidence showing that these things are causing short and long term damage, including burns, rashes, and other allergic reactions.

Have you ever thought about how to best teach your kids about the proper balance between faith and works? In First Peter two ten we read that God has shown us great mercy and grace by giving us new life in Christ and calling us into God’s family. But we tend to forget that as God’s people we are now sojourners and exiles in this world, Peter goes on to tell us to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against the soul. Our commitment to good works and God-honoring behavior is to flow out of the gratitude we have for the gift of our salvation. Perhaps these words from Charles Spurgeon are words you can absorb into yourself, and pass on to your kids. Spurgeon writes, “Good works must be in the Christian. They are not the root, but the fruit of his salvation. They are not the way of the believer’s salvation, they are his walk in the way of salvation.” Parents, nurture your kids in ways that lead them to understand that true growth bears good fruit!

In a recent article in USA Today, dermatologist Dr. Brooke Jeffy talks about the recent obsession among Gen Z with getting Botox injections to correct perceived cosmetic flaws. Concerned about starting to look old, these young people are getting hammered with social media posts and videos that are fueling their anxiety about aging, and promoting Botox as a remedy for their concerns. Dr. Jeffy says that it’s mostly not necessary and just a real source of anxiety. She continues, “Oftentimes they’re moving their face and we don’t even see wrinkles, but this is what they’re afraid of.” A recent survey by the American Academy of Facial and Plastic Reconstructive Surgery says that close to three out of four plastic surgeons report an increase in the number of patients under the age of thirty requesting these treatments. The reality is that aging is a consequence of humankind’s sin, and no injection can fill a facial wrinkle or hole in the soul in ways that satisfy. Only Jesus can.

The folks at emarketer.com recently released their list of Gen Alpha’s top coolest brands. Gen Alpha is that cohort of kids born between 2013 and now. These are the kids we call digital natives, as they have never known life without smartphones, and as a result, they are heavily influenced by the marketing and content they encounter online. The streaming services YouTube and Netflix come in at number one and two. At number three sits Amazon, which is also a place to stream content, but more importantly offers handheld access into the world of finding and purchasing just about anything, along with all the marketing that goes with that. While there are good things to be accessed on YouTube, Netflix, and Amazon, we also know that there is content we need to supervise, moderate, and even limit. And because each of these platforms market all kinds of product, we need to use them as an opportunity to nurture kids into stewarding their time and money to God’s glory.

Earlier this year, the American Bible Society released their fourteenth annual State of the Bible report, which is put together to track cultural trends in the United States regarding spirituality and engagement with the Bible. This year’s report shows some encouraging trends regarding Gen Z – those born between 1997 and 2012 – and their relationship with the Bible. The folks at the American Bible Society rightly report that we live in a busier and busier world, which leads many to put their Bible’s aside or never engage in bible reading at all. This has led to a decrease in Bible reading among the younger generations in recent years. However, this year’s report tells us that fifty-four percent of Gen Z adults, ages eighteen to twenty-seven, agree that the message of the Bible has transformed their lives. That’s up from fifty percent in the prior year. Parents, this trend is sure to continue if we each make regular time to read the Bible with our children, thus fulfilling our calling to nurture our kids in the faith.

The office of the United States Surgeon General recently released a report entitled, “Parents Under Pressure: The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Mental Health and Well-Being of Parents.” In his introduction to the report, Surgeon General Murthy writes these words: “Raising children is sacred work. It should matter to all of us.” Of course, those of us who understand God’s design for the family and the role we are to play in the nurture of our children know this to be true. Murthy goes on to write these words: “The work of parenting is essential not only for the health of children but also for the health of society. Additionally, we know that the well-being of parents and caregivers is directly linked to the well-being of their children.” Murthy’s words capture the truth of a principle we all must understand: that our role is primary, and that we pass on to our kids who it is that we are. Parents, if you desire your children to be faithful followers of Jesus, you must be that yourself!

When you were growing up, how many times did you hear your parents begin a sentence with these words: “When I was your age. . .” What usually followed was some kind of revelation comparing the relative ease of teenage life in your world, with the unimaginable difficulties your parents faced during their own adolescence. This includes the stereotypical account of walking ten miles to school in sub-zero weather and three feet of snow. Recently, Pew Research asked parents, “compared with twenty years ago, do you think being a teenager today is harder, easier or about the same?” Nearly seven out of ten parents say that it’s harder today, than it was twenty years ago. When asked about what has made it harder, it’s not surprising that social media and technology are what sit at the top of the list. It’s good that we’re waking up to this fact. It will be even better if we fulfill our God-ordained parenting responsibility by establishing borders and boundaries on all things technology.

In a recent article in the Harvard Business Review, Kelsey Hansen writes about social media addiction as something that her younger self struggled with, even though at the time she didn’t realize just how addicted she was becoming. She confesses to noticing that her attention span and mental capacity were suffering. She’d be working on her school assignments, but constantly and repeatedly interrupting her work, checking on her social media accounts. She cites Max Fisher’s book on the designed addictiveness of social media, titled “the Chaos Machine: the Inside Story of How Social Media Rewired Our Minds and Our World”: Fisher talks about how social media platforms are designed to trigger a dopamine release in our brains. He writes, “Dopamine creates a positive association with whatever behaviors prompted its release, training you to repeat them.” This applies even to self-destructive behaviors. Parents, set borders and boundaries, and teach your kids to redeem their time.

Much of the research on kids and play indicates that our children and teens are spending more and more time involved in sedentary activity, and less time engaging in active play. It should come as no surprise that engaging the God-given gift of play will result in good outcomes both now and for the rest of their lives. The folks at project play tell us that the benefits of childhood physical activity are many. Kids are one-tenth as likely to be obese. They score up to forty percent higher on test scores. They are less likely to smoke, use drugs, and get pregnant. They are fifteen percent more likely to pursue higher education. They experience fewer mental health problems. As adults, they will grow up to experience fewer health issues including heart disease, stroke, cancer, and diabetes. And, they will be more productive at work. Parents, God has given you the responsibility to raise children who are spiritually, relationally, emotionally, and physically healthy. Get them playing!

All this week we’ve been looking at some strategies for reducing the stress you may be feeling as a parent. This comes in response to the recent Surgeon General’s advisory on Parents Under Pressure, and the fact that forty-one percent of parents say that they are so stressed they cannot function. My suggestion for you today is this: develop habits and rhythms of running to God and His Word. Do you realize that God is your faithful protector? We know that there are many challenges and problems facing our kids today, and these do cause us stress and anxiety. But Jesus tells us in Matthew 28 that he is always with us. In Hebrews 13 we read that God will never leave us. In I Peter five seven we are told to “cast all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” The Psalmist says, “When I am afraid, I will put my trust in you.” Counselor Ed Welch reminds us that our stressors and fears tell us that we are alone. But faith says “I am with you.” Trust in the Lord, and teach your kids to do the same.

All this week we’re looking at some strategies for reducing the stress you may be feeling as a parent. This comes in response to the recent Surgeon General’s advisory on Parents Under Pressure, and the fact that forty-one percent of parents say that they are so stressed they cannot function. My suggestion for you today is this: make sure that you and your family take a regular weekly Sabbath. Take a few minutes to read the Genesis account of Creation. In Genesis chapter two we read that when God had finished his work of creating all things, he rested on the seventh day from all the work he had done. We read that God blessed this seventh day and made it holy, a day set apart from work. In Exodus we read the fourth commandment which instructs us to remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Our word Sabbath comes from the Hebrew word for rest. God has made us for a rhythm of work and rest. Break that rhythm and you and your family will begin to break down. Practice a regular sabbath.

All this week we’re looking at some strategies for reducing the stress you may be feeling as a parent. This comes in response to the recent Surgeon General’s advisory on Parents Under Pressure, and the fact that forty-one percent of parents say that they are so stressed they cannot function. My suggestion for you today is this: stop facilitating a family lifestyle where you are running around, as my grandmother used to say, like a chicken with its head cut off! I continually hear parents lament the fact that they aren’t able to even sit down for a quiet family dinner because of activity schedules, many of those activities being focused on sports, extra-curricular clubs, and a host of other time-takers. While these things are good things when held in a healthy balance, the way we schedule our families now is wearing us out! Much of what feeds this insanity is comparison, as we don’t want our kids left behind. But when good things become ultimate life-directing things, we’ve moved into the sin of idolatry.

All this week we’re looking at some strategies for reducing the stress you may be feeling as a parent. This comes in response to the recent Surgeon General’s advisory on Parents Under Pressure, and the fact that forty-one percent of parents say that they are so stressed they cannot function. My suggestion for you today is this: pull back on the amount of time that you and your children spend each day looking at screens. TV’s, computers, and smartphones have been around so long that we now know while there are good aspects related to the use of these tools, they are among other things addictive, they lure us into wasting time, they lead us into the unhealthy practice of comparison to others, they leave us feeling lonely, and they make us anxious. All of these aspects and others combine to fuel stress that’s toxic, while keeping us from those things that are most important. Quiet times with the Lord are sure to suffer. Parents, peel back in ways that release the steam that’s built up in your life.

A United States Surgeon General’s advisory “is a public statement that calls the American people’s attention to an urgent public health issue and provides recommendations for how it should be addressed. Advisories are reserved for significant public health challenges that require the nation’s immediate awareness and action.” In the past, you’ve heard us cite advisories related to issues facing our children and teens. But the most recently released Surgeon General’s Advisory calls attention to the current crisis of stress and mental health issues among parents! This new advisory tells us that forty-one percent of parents say that most days they are so stressed they cannot function, and forty-eight percent say that most days their stress is completely overwhelming compared to other adults, and this before the Covid-nineteen pandemic. I want to invite you to listen in all this week as we offer some strategies and suggestions for dialing down on the stress that you may be feeling in your home.

One of the most quoted figures in the world of the occult is Alistair Crowley, an early twentieth century writer and self-proclaimed prophet whose anti-Christian influence continues to this day. Perhaps Crowley’s most popular phrase is this: “Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.” Crowley taught and lived out a lifestyle marked by living under the sovereignty of one’s self, rather than under the sovereignty of God. In today’s world, Crowley’s dictum is made manifest in so many different ways, and it’s been adopted by those who have no idea who Alistair Crowley even was. Today, our kids are being encouraged to “be true to yourself”, and told to “you do you.” Is that really any different? Parents, your kids are growing up saturated in a cultural narrative that trumpets the self as sovereign. Teach your kids that a rightly ordered life is described by Jesus in Mark 12:30 where we read, “And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.”

The American Lung Association is reporting that while smoking conventional cigarettes and electronic cigarettes is on the decline among our children and teens, the use of non-combustible tobacco products known as “smokeless and spitless nicotine pouches” is growing in popularity. Thanks to marketing efforts and the viral nature of social media promotion, there has been a 641% increase in sales of products like Zyn, On!, Rouge, Velo, Juice Head, Zone, and Lucy. Research on these addictive nicotine delivery systems indicates that over a quarter of those who use them are under the age of 21. With nicotine sales limited by law to those over the age of 21, we must teach kids that God has given them the responsibility to obey the laws of the government. Finally, teach them that in First Corinthians 6:19 to 21, we learn that stewarding the health of their God-given bodies is not only their responsibility, but an act of worship.

I recently read a sentence in the First Things monthly journal that stopped me in my tracks. I went back and read it several times over. Eventually, I pulled out a pen and underlined it, knowing that it was worth going back to over and over again. I spotted the sentence in an article that regular columnist, Liel Liebovitz, had written about what it’s like to be a young person in today’s world. Liebovitz wrote, and I quote, that this is “a generation whose minds, hearts, and souls, are ravaged by a technological torrent that thrusts upon them more audiovisual stimuli per minute than the human brain can possibly process.” Let me read that again: this is “a generation whose minds, hearts, and souls, are ravaged by a technological torrent that thrusts upon them more audiovisual stimuli per minute than the human brain can possibly process.” Parents, what goes in through the ears and eyes of your kids will play out in their beliefs and behaviors for the rest of their lives. Are you paying attention?

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you are aware that debates have been raging regarding children and teens who say they are struggling with gender dysphoria. Thanks to social media and peer influence, more and more kids are announcing that their gender identity is something other than their biological sex. We can’t forget that all kids go through the process of identity formation, and with the transgender identity being touted as a legitimate identity option, more and more kids will choose to lean into that, especially those who are lacking in guidance and direction from loving adults. The good news on the secular front is that the research indicates that both the truly gender dysphoric and those who are choosing their identity thanks to the social contagion, will come to terms with their biological sex as they move through adolescence. Parents, don’t be quick to jump on the affirmation band-wagon. Instead, teach your kids that God in his love has created them either male or female.

My friend Luke Bobo recently wrote an article in which he encourages all of us to establish what’s known as “a rule of life.” Luke tells us that establishing a rule of life helps us to develop intentional habits that lead us to living a life of purpose and virtue. Luke gives us six recommendations that we can enlist and teach our kids regarding what it means to live by a rule of life. First, think God’s thoughts. We need to focus daily on reading God’s Word and journaling our thoughts and reflections. Second, work and rest. Do your work to the glory of God, and take a weekly Sabbath. Third, we need to feed our imaginations. Luke recommends reading two fiction books for every non-fiction book we read. Fourth, steward your body. We all could improve our diet and exercise routines. Fifth, take a sabbath from social media. And finally, cultivate your heart by doing a disordered loves inventory, seeing where you are worshiping idols and repenting of this sin.

One of the best guides for how to pray for our kids is the parable of the sower, which can be found in Mark four. As Jesus is teaching about the power of Gospel to transform lives, he uses this well-known agricultural parable to explain the different responses people have to the Gospel, based on the condition of their heart. You see, just as good soil is needed for a seed to take root and grow, so it is with our hearts. As we think about our children and teens, we must be praying that their hearts would be like good soil, softened and prepared in ways that will receive the seed of the Gospel, which in turn will result in the spiritual fruit that marks a regenerate life. And while we are to trust in God’s Spirit to do the work of faith in our kids, we have been given the parental responsibility to nurture our kids in the truths of God’s Word so that the soil is ready to receive and grow the seed. Pray for your kids, that their hearts would be soft, rather than hard, rocky, or filled with weeds.

I grew up as part of a generation that didn’t get excited about back to school shopping. All we wanted to do was make the most of each day of summer vacation, and a day or two dedicated to back to school shopping was an unwelcome and protest-sparking interruption. In today’s world, the great majority of kids love to back to school shop, as their clothing, water bottles, notebooks, and pens can be an avenue to fitting in with the peer group by sporting what’s most popular. Of course, this should always spark us to talk to kids from a Christian perspective about materialism, stewardship, identity, and marketing. But considering some of what’s being seen in the hallways now that our kids have been back to school for several weeks, you might want to laugh regarding today’s must-haves. The list includes old school 1970s era bic four-color pens, the 1980s trapper keep notebook, Crayola crayons, black marble composition books, and old school Texas Instruments calculators.