Untoxicated Podcast

Being on the receiving end of the lies, gaslighting and manipulation of alcoholism can make it tough to feel worthy. On this special roundtable episode, Sheri and Matt welcome five survivors with lived experience who share their successes and challenges in their battles with worthiness. These are all new voices to the podcast, with important, impactful perspectives. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question. Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Sheri and Matt are eager to break some of the generational patterns that resulted in underlying causes of addiction for Matt. In this episode, the couple talks about the habits, instinctual reactions and mannerisms that they are trying not to pass along to their kids. It is not enough to tell the children of alcoholics not to get caught in the web of addiction. We have to create an environment (complete with heaping doses of encouragement and self-esteem) that don’t lead to a need to self-medicate. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question. Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

When she found her husband drinking alcohol with their underage kids, the scene triggered an unexpectedly life-changing response. At first, Liz thought it was the last straw. After writing and processing, she realized the present-day scene was a reminder of disappointments and conditioning from her long-ago past. Through writing, Liz has come to a lot of realizations that have led her onto her own path of recovery. Matt starts the episode by answering a listener’s question. Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

The answer to this episode title has morphed over the years from: they couldn’t imagine anyone would want to listen to what they have to say, to: “imposter syndrome,” to: groups are dynamic, to: the pressure from expectations for answers sounds sucky. Is that run-on sentence confusing? Listen to the episode, and you’ll understand why you can be a student and a teachers. Listen all the way to the end, and you can hear Sheri’s idea for Matt’s billboard advertising campaign. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question. Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Eight loving, empathetic, hard-working alcoholism survivors sitting around a big microphone – it’s a roundtable episode recorded during our winter Marriagevolution Couples Retreat in the mountains of Colorado. Two couples are nearing the end of their first year of sobriety, the third couple has over three years, and Sheri and Matt are starting their seventh year. So there is a variety of experiences, opinions and emotions on full display. Clear communication and respect – respect for each other and respect for all of the possibilities – are two takeaways on which all eight participants agree. This episode is honest, emotional, and as loving as sound waves digitally stored on the internet can be. If you and your partner are working to restore your relationship in sobriety, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Marriagevolution program.

There is no arguing the fact that without alcohol, Sheri and Matt would never have met. It is also an undisputed reality that some of the best times the couple ever experienced were enhanced by alcohol. Now that Sheri and Matt openly despise alcohol for all of the damage it brought to their family, a reconciliation is in order. Before they discuss reconciling the joy and destruction of alcohol, Sheri and Matt answer a listener question about finding confidence and reconnection in sobriety, while the potential for relapse looms. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question. Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Blame the alcohol, or the alcoholism, but don’t blame the person. We say it all the time. But what if the blame isn’t just something that occurs once the addiction is firmly in place? What if blame and criticism and attempts to change our partners is one of the underlying causes of addiction? Sheri and Matt discuss the impact of years of mutual criticism and attempts to change each other. And as you’ll hear on this episode, they are much happier now just laughing at each other. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question. Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

So you made it through the holidays…well, definitely don’t let your guard down yet. January is really hard in early sobriety, and it is hard for the loved ones trying to avoid emotional relapses. On this episode, Sheri and Matt discuss the emotional drivers from the holidays that impact our self-esteem, and they give tips about what to do to have a mentally healthy start to the year. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question. Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

On this one-of-a-kind episode, Sheri and Matt have compiled the answers to this simple prompt from 17 participants in the SHOUT Sobriety and Echoes of Recovery groups: What does community mean to you? There are a lot of resonating sentiments and powerful statements in the words of the people who understand the transformational impact of community. To move past the Sheri and Matt introduction to the clips from our people, skip to the 19 minute mark. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question. Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program. If you are a high functioning alcoholic seeking to add community to your recovery, please check out our SHOUT Sobriety program.

Sheri and Matt knew they would hand down important lessons about faith and work ethic and loyalty and love of family to their kids. What they didn’t initially know was that they would also hand down troubling mannerisms, emotions and disruptions to the nervous system that would haunt their children. And the really complex part is that now that they know, there are still things Sheri and Matt struggle to stop reinforcing. I guess they learned their generationally traumatic lessons well. Breaking the cycle is hard. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question. Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Childhood experiences, including exposure to alcoholism, along with the gaslighting and denials from being married to an alcoholic, have left Sheri facing real challenges battling feelings of unworthiness. Anyone who thinks the loved one of an alcoholic should just, “Get over it,” really needs to listen to this honest and painful conversation. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question. Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

The only thing Matt knew about a connection between orgasms and addiction when he was in active alcoholism was that he sure liked to have sex when he was drinking. But now he has done the research, and Sheri and Matt connect the dots explaining the reason for the orgasm gap between men and women, and how challenges with sexual pleasure and satisfaction are both an underlying cause of, and also a result from, alcoholism. Not only do they identify this problem that starts in K-12 public school education, but they also invite Kathy back to the podcast to discuss the steps we can take to influence public policy in a way that helps narrow the orgasm gap resulting in a positive impact on addiction prevention and recovery. Whoa, that is a lot of deep and taboo ground to cover in an hour. And Matt only blushes a little when he talks about the clitoris. To read the associated blog post on Sober and Unashamed, and for the details about the research studies Matt references on this episode, please click here. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question. Do you want to ask the couple something too? If so, send your question to [email protected].

A manicured lawn, beautiful social media photos, and a well-kept house are often signs that something sinister lurks hiding behind the perfection. On this episode, Sheri and Matt welcome Karen and Adam to the conversation because of their experiences with no longer pretending. They discuss the incredible relief found in moving past the stoic wall, refusing to portray everything as “fine,” and finding a communities – both small and large – where we can be 100% authentic. What goes up, must come down. But the things we push down, eventually, must come up and out, too. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Do you find satisfaction in an accomplishment, or does an achievement just drive you to keep pushing forward? If you, like Matt, relate to the latter, watch out! You just might be on a path toward addiction. On this episode, Sheri and Matt take a listener’s question, and explain how motivation contributed to Matt’s high-functioning alcoholism. Do you want to ask Sheri and Matt a question too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Hannah has been through a lot, and now she is recovering from her traumatic and abusive experience with the alcoholism of her husband. Sheri and Matt are honored to call her a dear friend, and they feel her pain and celebrate her growth on this very difficult episode. Hannah’s story is a cautionary tale of the progressive nature of alcoholism, and how bad it can get. Listen to how her love for her children was the ultimate factor in her finding the freedom they all deserve. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

At the heart of all relationship struggles we will find communication challenges. On this episode, Sheri and Matt recall all the communication mistakes they have made with their kids. Some of it was a direct result of alcoholism. Some mistakes were made naively as they navigated uncharted territory. Some mistakes continue (especially from Matt) even though they now know better. One thing is for sure – not communicating with kids who have experienced alcoholism is not a healthy option. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Sheri and Matt have had some awful alcoholic Halloween experiences. Last year, they recapped the trauma on Ep111. This year, the couple is talking about the joy and laughter they are experiencing on their sixth consecutive sober Halloween month (yes, Matt celebrates Halloween for a whole month). Do you think sobriety is boring? Well, after you listen to this, you might not change your mind. But you’ll definitely think twice about taking advice from these two chuckling sobriety peddlers with their questionable movie choices and bad parenting decisions. Keep listening, at your own risk, for some tips on navigating the other looming holidays free from the terror of alcohol. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

We humans are hard on ourselves. In fact, it is widely believed that no one will ever be as hard on us as we are on ourselves. Sheri and Matt have experience with that point of view, and on this episode, they share why your perceived self-weakness might just be bravery leading to hope. Cut yourself some slack and listen to their perspective. Also, listen to Matt give Sheri makeup tips. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Pain is thought of as an almost exclusively negative emotion and experience. But does pain serve a purpose? Is pain necessary for forward motion in certain scenarios? And is recovery from alcoholism one such scenario? Sheri and Matt sure think so. Their understanding of pain is not just about progress. On this episode, the couple shares their understanding of pain that can help release shame in the times when we get stuck. They also both have real-time epiphanies of about how pain influences our actions. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

What comes first, safety or connection? Can two married people be in two different relationships when it comes to trust and implied consent? Is there guilt inherent in detachment, and rejection inherent in sex without emotional intimacy? Sheri and Matt are joined by Julia and Liz to tackle these incredibly heavy topics. There is not a psychologist among them, but yet, as lived-experience experts, they uncover a lot of therapeutic truth. And Liz solves it all with an analogy to Chutes and Ladders. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Can forgiveness be achieved without an apology ever being offered? Likewise, can we find comfort in feeling remorse without ever being forgiven? On this special roundtable episode, Sheri and Matt are joined by four lived-experience experts to discuss the power of forgiveness. We are confident you will learn something new, or reconsider what you thought to be true, after listening to this conversation between Dawn, Karen, Mike and Lori. These are some distinctly different personalities and perspectives who have done some serious forgiveness work. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

In order for a relationship to survive alcoholism, both partners, the former drinker, and the spouse, need to do an amazing amout of work in recovery. It is not about sobriety, although that is a prerequisite. It is about individual healing and growth. Those two strong people can then come back together to make their relationship thrive. On this episode, Sheri and Matt talk about the different ways one partner or the other can prevent relationship recovery – because they can’t or won’t find healing themselves. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Sheri and Matt welcome The Addiction Nutritionist, Kelly Miller, back to the podcast to learn more from this amazing nutrition therapist and recovery coach, and to apply her nutrition lessons to the recovery of the loved ones of people battling addiction. Do you want to feel better, reduce anxiety and regulate your haywire nervous system? If so, this episode is for you. It is full of practical nutrition tips, busted myths, and lots of counterintuitive knowledge about recovery. Kelly lights up the microphone as she shares her passion for feeling better and living better. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Alcoholism has lots of victims – including the drinker. High-functioning alcoholics in sobriety often have a really hard time accepting their victim status for a variety of reasons discussed by Sheri and Matt on this episode. But owning the victim label disarms the stigma and ends the shame cycle. It’s an important, but largely rejected, philosophy. Acknowledging victimhood can get people stuck, or it can lead to freedom. Sheri and Matt tackle another complex recovery issue. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Last week, we published this article titled, “Your Wife’s Not a Bitch,” to our Sober and Unashamed website and blog. We got a lot of reaction, most of it in the form of email from the spouses of alcoholics describing the different ways our assertions were rejected. In this episode of the podcast, Sheri and Matt discuss the reactions, and the importance of creating a safe place for honest communication to thrive – because the death of communication will be the ultimate death of any relationship. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Sheri and Matt dive deep into Sheri’s favorite topic: intimacy. But this discussion might not be what you are expecting. They separate emotional intimacy from sex, and describe emotional intimacy as the ultimate vulnerability (complete with figurative nudity). Emotional intimacy is both really difficult (made infinitely harder by alcohol abuse), and also a key to relationship recovery. Confused much? Give it a listen, and see if you agree with their expertless assertions. Stick around to hear Sheri talk about stepping on Matt’s unit. OK…it is a little bit about sex. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Do you want to know what it takes to save a marriage from alcoholism? One word: genuine humility. OK, that’s two words. And it also takes therapy, group work, hard-earned detachment, faith, resentment processing, group work, and persistence. But it can’t be done without an abundance of genuine humility. Mindy and Tom join Matt on this episode. Tom lays some truth on us explaining a cornerstone of their marriage recovery: “She has a voice that deserves to be heard.” When asked if she was worried that Tom might drink while the couple was separated, Mindy says, “I didn’t care.” She couldn’t afford to worry about him while trying to save herself. The importance of the lessons from Mindy and Tom’s story cannot be overstated. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program. If you are a high-functioning alcoholic working on sobriety, please check out our SHOUT Sobriety program.

The brain is the final frontier of human biology, so the full impact of alcohol on our gray matter is a topic that undergoes continuous discovery. In this episode, Sheri and Matt discuss five ways alcohol impacts us neurologically – four impacts on the drinkers, and one substantial impact on the brains of the people who are in consistently close proximity to the drinkers (like spouses). They also talk about flying squirrel suits and the most famous wizard. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

The official cause of death was, “Complications of chronic ethanolism.” We all knew Suzy’s husband Matt was struggling and relapsing, but no one is ever really ready for death by alcohol. Suzy Jahn joins Sheri and Matt on this episode, and she tells her story of hope lost, and of hope regained by her work in recovery, and through the love of her family. Suzy is exceptionally strong as she navigates the mourning and rebuilding process – a process no one should ever have to go through. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

To celebrate our 150th podcast episode, we gathered in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains for our first ever Echoes of Recovery retreat. We took a break from hiking and hot springs to record this very special podcast episode together – fourteen people around the same microphone sharing the same story with their own individual details and perspectives. If you think you are alone as the spouse of someone suffering from alcohol addiction, this one is for you. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Why do we give so much power to the mantras that surround us (at least some of us do (Sheri’s looking at you, Matt))? There are gross and glorified mantras that are pillars of the recovery community, slogans and sayings that drive a fledgling little alcoholic-in-training deep into addiction, and buzz phrases and quotes from movies and pop culture that have become ingrained in our daily lives. Even our most basic and popular wedding vows are fraught with serious problems. Still, there are some mantras that seem to be useful. Sheri and Matt talk about them all, including one designed to bring dinner-time harmony in their own raucous home. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

There is a flow to the process of recovering a marriage from alcoholism. In this episode, Sheri and Matt talk about the universalisms found in the eight phases of relationship recovery. This is time consuming and emotionally draining work, and a lot of what Sheri and Matt have learned is counterintuitive and daunting. From boundaries and detachment, to coming back together as two strong and self-sufficient individuals, these overlapping phases are a roadmap back from the pit of alcoholic despair. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Anyone who has experienced an alcoholic relationship is familiar with the traumatic events when the drinking and the aftermath spins wildly out of control. But for most high-functioning alcoholics, there are plenty of times when nothing traumatic happens, but the family lives in a consistent state of chaos. There is no chance to relax – no opportunity to drop from high alert. That’s the damage to the nervous system that Sheri and Matt describe in this episode. It is story time, Untoxicated friends. Can you relate? If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

As a drinker, Matt’s goal for the marriage was for Sheri to agree with him on morals, politics, religion, finances, parenting, etc. Only now in sobriety, Matt is realizing that with the exception of morals, they are dramatically different people with different opinions, beliefs and motivators. Acceptance – consistent acceptance – of those differences is required for the marriage to thrive. And falling back into old habits of criticism and disappointment is triggering for them both. Two healthy, independent, sober people can really thrive as a couple…as long as there is consistent respect. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Leah suffered from denial for years while living with someone whose drinking became a progressively more significant problem. She describes it like living in the middle of a tornado and refusing to acknowledge the storm. From early days of dating, though her wedding day, and even when her husband decided he needed to stop drinking, Leah ignored all of the red flags because alcoholism couldn’t possibly happen to her. And when her husband got sober, that’s when the denial really ramped up. She was sure sobriety would fix everything. It all came crashing down, and her denial left her totally unprepared. Now Leah faces reality head on, and she makes three really significant points that the loved ones of alcoholics really must understand. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Pride, self-esteem, ego and confidence often get a bad rap in the traditional recovery community as leading to relapse. We believe the opposite is true, and that self-esteem is the single most important component to long-term sobriety. But that’s not what this episode is about. Sheri and Matt talk about the critical importance of self-esteem to the healing and recovery of the spouses and other loved ones of alcoholic. At the end of the episode, Matt explains why Sheri’s growing self-esteem is so important to him. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

We are thrilled to announce the “Evolution Series” as part of our Sober and Unashamed website and blog. Writing our stories of the impact of alcohol on our lives and families is very therapeutic, and we invite you to write and submit your story for the potential publication to our audience of readers. Not only will you feel the power of vulnerability rewarded, but you will help so many others who will relate to your story and know they are not alone. Don’t just listen or read about our mission. Join us and be a part of the solution. To submit your story to the “Evolution Series,” send your writing to [email protected]. Share your story for the benefit of us all!

Everyone understands the consequences associated cigarette smoking (lung cancer) or a poor diet heavy on added sugar and fat (diabetes and obesity). Those consequences are directly correlated and societally accepted. When it comes to alcohol, in our culture, we ignore the inevitable consequences. Who better to welcome to a conversation like this than the self-described “queen of consequences?” Allison joins Sheri and Matt on this episode, and they break down the consequences (legal, financial, relational and mental health) she faced as her drinking spiralled out of control. If you are a high-functioning alcoholic seeking sobriety, we invite you to join us in SHOUT Sobriety. Allison is a big fan of our program, and we hope you’ll check it out for yourself!

Nothing is more important to healthful, sustained recovery than staying in tune with the traumas of active alcoholism. It isn’t a good idea to wallow in misery, but as the seasons change and summer drinking is surrounding us, it is a great idea to remind ourselves of why sobriety is the best choice for us personally, and for our families. On this episode, Sheri and Matt recall Matt’s summer drinking experiences including a particularly emotional recollection of a drive to the airport with a car full of kids toward the end of the conversation. Don’t ignore the red flags. Change your narrative right now, this summer. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

What are the most impactful steps we can take to decrease the massive amount of abusive drinking that is condoned in our culture? Prohibition didn’t work, but are there other legal, taxation, media/marketing or educational tactics we can employ to remove boozing from it’s place as the national pastime? Sheri and Matt discuss all of the tactics, as well as the underlying causes that really deserve our attention. And there is good news to celebrate in present and future trends. Sheri also tells Matt why she wants to punch him in the throat. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

The decision to stay or to go when in an alcoholic relationship seems to rely on the ability of the drinker to find sobriety. Because humans can’t change other people, it feels like the spouse has no power. But Lori is here to explain a third option to staying in misery, or divorcing. Lori explains that she learned how to “stay well” in her formerly destructive marriage. She explains the concepts she learned from author, speaker, licenced clinical social worker and relationship coach, Leslie Vernick. Now Lori’s recovery is thriving, and her marriage has benefited as well. This is not a paid endorsement. This is someone sharing a resource for the loved ones of alcoholics because it changed her life. Here is a link to Leslie Vernick’s website. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Bridget stayed with her husband as his drinking destroyed his health and their marriage. The lies, the hiding and the gaslighting is something with which so many loved ones of alcoholics are familiar. She made the impossibly hard but healthy decision to move on and live the life they had planned to live together, alone. Bridget describes in emotional detail how she loved her husband, the man she married. But the man alcohol transformed him into is not the man she loved. At the end of the episode, she also surprises Matt with her advice for mothers of young children who are in similar situations. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

The indicators of the increase in bad behavior are everywhere. The airline industry, big city crime statistics, and alcohol industry consumption numbers all correlate to paint a concerning picture of the aftermath of COVID isolation. No matter how much we try to compartmentalize and ignore, the truth is staring us in the face. In this episode, Sheri and Matt talk about the increase in unacceptable behavior, and what we can do when we see it in our families and among our friends. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Julie Sanford hosts the Married to Addiction podcast, and she joins Sheri and Matt to discuss the similarities and differences in both their recovery stories, and also their outreach to the loved ones of alcoholics. On this episode, they discuss the signs that indicate that the loved ones need recovery, getting your needs met as the wife of an alcoholic, the mantras associated with codependency, self-care for someone who is deep in the chaos of addiction, and what you can do if your alcoholic doesn’t support your need to get help. Matt admires Julie’s “radio voice,” and Sheri resonates with a lot of Julie’s experiences. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Matt spent ten years working himself through the cycle of active alcoholism into permanent sobriety. What could have been accomplished in a year, took Matt a decade to process. Why the delay? Denial. Both Sheri and Matt were in denial about the demon they faced. In this episode, they discuss their denial in detail in the hopes that others can move through the process of finding recovery faster than they did. The episode ends with an epically bad joke the sends Sheri scurrying from the room. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

The loved ones of alcoholic are often compelled to keep the trauma of addiction a secret because the drinker has a lot to hide. By stifling their stories, the loved ones remain stuck in unprocessed pain. Deb is our guest on this episode, and she has chosen to talk about her story as the partner of someone suffering from addiction to alcohol. Her decision has brought relief and a level of peace to Deb, and it has led to progress for the relationship. She is a thoughtful and educated ambassador for the power of owning your own story. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

During his active addiction and early sobriety, Matt never had an idea that Sheri was interested in hearing about. Whether it was his arrogance, his gaslighting or his mistakes, new ideas just meant challenges and heartache for Sheri. But things are different now. Sheri welcomes Matt’s suggestions, and the couple discusses their plans and ideas as a true partnership focused on their mutual best interest. They also enjoy euchre much more than in Matt’s drinking days. There’s lots of uplifting laughter in this episode. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

If you are the loved one of an alcoholic, it may be hard to be truthful and authentic with your partner who is dealing with or recovering from addiction. You’re vulnerability has probably been used against you in the past, you might think your spouse has too much on his plate to be burdened by your problems, and he might have the habit of offering quick fixes to brush you aside. On this episode, Sheri and Matt discuss how important it is for the loved ones to stop picking up the alcoholic pieces, and concentrate on their own needs. And to express those needs, knowing that authenticity might not be well received. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

“You do what I tell you or else,” statements rarely work, and they create additional friction while weakening our relative positions in relationships. In this episode, Sheri and Matt share their personal experiences with ultimatums and boundaries, and they discuss best practices for couples still in the heat of battle with addiction. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

More than anything else, recovering a relationship from alcoholism is a huge communication problem. And it isn’t just a problem with the words we choose, it is the modes of communication that keep us stuck as well. If you are texting your spouse about anything deeper than who is supposed to pick up milk on the way home, that is a huge red flag for Sheri and Matt who bring all the technological advancement of their flip phone and sliding keyboard to this discussion. Marriage communication is hard enough without sabotaging our own relationships. Sheri and Matt have some “dos” and “don’ts” tucking inside some tears and some laughter. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.