Untoxicated Podcast

Emily Schrader has always been a risk taker. Drinking alcohol and doing drugs was a natural fit for a woman living life on the edge. Now, with 15 years of sobriety, she is taking a different kind of risk putting everything she’s got into her non-profit mission called Bar Zero. Starting as a catering company that offers an exotic dry bar experience, Bar Zero will eventually grow into a full brick and mortar restaurant and bar here in Denver. With the “sober curious” movement proving to be more than a passing trend, I’m not sure her vision is much of a risk at all. After hearing her story of redemption, compassion, dedication and proven experience, I’m excited to see what the future holds for those of us who want a place where we fit, with a wide variety of mixed drinks, hold the poison. Visionaries like Emily are making the dream happen in cities all over the United States. Only listen if you want to get excited about it, too. For more information about Bar Zero, to contact Emily Schrader or to get involved with their mission, please checkout their website.

I’m supposed to feel rested coming off the holidays, right? So why do I feel so bad – worthless and sinking? Some people drink to avoid processing trauma, abuse or neglect. High-functioning alcoholics like me drink as a reprieve from the relentless pursuit of accomplishment. This episode isn’t specifically about alcoholism or addiction in general. It is about dealing with the human condition in a society that pushes us into an endless loop of self-dissatisfaction.

This is our third consecutive sober holiday season, and it is monumentally better for both my wife and me. In this episode, Sheri and I discuss the differences in Christmas number three on our quest for recovery. The stress and excitement are still there, but we’ve finally shed the pressure from both keeping up appearances, and the dreadful anticipation of alcoholic antics. It’s really much, much better, but it didn’t come easily nor quickly.

In this episode, I share a speech I gave to a community of people recovering from alcoholism through the twelve steps. It was not an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, though many of the people in the audience were AA participants. In the speech I make the argument that alcoholism is not a spiritual problem for me, so a spiritual solution is no solution at all. The speech led to a lively, yet open-minded discussion. Now I want to know what you think. I hope you’ll listen, share a comment or send me an email at [email protected].

Jolene Park and her friends were like the cast of Sex in the City with their nights on the town and affinity for classy wines while complaining about their relationship struggles. The dots where there, but Jolene couldn’t connect them. Until she stopped drinking. Now Jolene is a leading voice talking about the benefits of going alcohol free, no matter where you are on the spectrum from casual drinker to falling-down drunk. Learn more about her nutrition and freedom from drinking coaching at grayareadrinkers.com and healthydiscoveries.com. Check out Jolene’s interview on the Home Podcast with Laura McKowen and Holly Whitaker that really launched her work in this area. Then, check out her Tedx that went viral and has over 120,000 views. This is a great conversation with a health care professional and sobriety badass doing great work to destroy the stigma and help people become their best selves when they leave drinking behind.

When I was trying to gain my permanent sobriety, I needed my wife’s support more than ever. I thought her cautions attitude and reserved enthusiasm was selfish on her part. I didn’t understand that she needed to protect herself, and she had no control over my commitment to never drink again. I was the one who was selfish by crushing her soul, then expecting her to celebrate my recovery. We discuss this topic, and also our new ebook written from Sheri’s perspective called: He’s Sober. Now What? A Spouse’s Guide to Alcoholism Recovery. We hope you download it now for free!

Christy Wynne didn’t have a spectacular, catastrophic, up-in-flames relationship with alcohol. Sure, she partied for many years, but she decided to leave the booze behind because she just didn’t feel right, and she could deny the cause of her health just being off no longer. Now she has taken her sobriety to new levels by coaching other gray area drinkers and speaking out about the damage caused to women by the mommy wine culture. In this episode, we debate the use of the label, “alcoholic,” and talk about Christy’s one-day-at-a-time approach to sobriety versus Matt’s commitment to permanent sobriety. The bottom line is that there is a wide spectrum of people who are questioning their relationship with alcohol, and Christy shares what she has learned about treating each person individually to help them feel better and reach full potential. Christy is @danceyourselfcleancoaching on facebook and Instagram, and you can check out her website and email below: danceyourselfcleancoaching.com [email protected] Here’s an article published in Urban Life Wash Park in January of 2019 where Christy discusses gray area drinking: Alcohol and Women: The Unsexy Truth

The damage done to our marriage by my active alcoholism was massive. We are still trying to deal with the resentment, and repair trust and our intimate relationship. But now, we face an unexpected challenge. Sheri’s occasional, social drinking is having a toxic effect on our marriage. I’m not proud of the impact, but I do think it is important that we talk about it. Please let us know what you think. Comment on the episode, or contact us directly: [email protected] [email protected]

Almost 15 million Americans have cancer, but there are more than 15 million American alcoholics. Addiction to alcoholism touches all of our lives. In this speech designed to inform and destigmatize, I talk about how victims of cancer are treated with love and care while victim of alcoholism are treated with scorn and shame. The cure for alcoholism is available to us in changed attitudes and in the voices of those of us willing to tell our stories – willing to wear the label alcoholic without fear. It is a speech about misperception and bravery. It is about societal influence and rejecting the stigma. Most of all, it is about the cure. For more information about speaking opportunites, please visit the Outspoken page of my SoberAndUnashamed.com website, or contact me at [email protected].

Listen to this speech I wrote for the students at a large, racially and economically diverse high school after they experienced a series of brazen and dangerous incidents of alcohol abuse. We can’t convince all adolescents to abstain from alcohol, but we can convince them to make drinking a choice with two acceptable answers. Let’s reduce peer pressure and increase mutual respect. Maybe we should give our teens the chance to make the right choice when drinking alcohol isn’t an expectation. If you would like to talk about speaking opportunites, please contact me at [email protected], or visit my Outspoken website.

Sheri and I are stuck. We have made tremendous progress in the recovery of our relationship, now in the third year of my sobriety, but resentments from the past continue to haunt us. We have unpacked, dealt with, explored, rehashed, discussed and worked through all of the issues. We have apologized – me for my drunken behavior, and Sheri for her angry responses – sincerely and endlessly. But it isn’t enough to free Sheri of the burdens of resentment. Good news – Jason is back. Untoxicated Podcast co-founder and licensed addiction counselor and couples therapist Jason Polk is our guest, and he is joined by his friend Lana Isaacson, also a licenced couples therapist and addiction counselor. They offer suggestions about releasing resentments and getting unstuck, as well as tips on a host of other topics faced by relationships in recovery. We are proud to recommend the workshop Lana and Jason are hosting for couples in recovery. They call it, “Have Each Other’s Backs Again,” and it will be held November 10th in suburban Denver. What a great way to get your marriage back on track after dealing with trauma from alcoholism or anything else that has you stuck. For more information, or to register, go to Lana’s website or Jason’s website.

In part two of a three part series about how Matt’s alcoholism has damaged our marriage, Sheri talks about the process of recovering our marriage from the depths of distrust and deceit. While we’ve made good progress, learning to love again is ongoing and requires patience and massive effort. The raw emotion in this episode tells the whole story.

God has an important place in my life. He always has. I am a very spiritual person, and I pray constantly both now and back when I was in active alcoholism. That’s why I don’t believe God wants us to let go and let God. For me, God has given direction to my life, but he expects me to do the work to get sober. I don’t believe alcoholism is a spiritual problem. I believe it is a brain disease. My faith helps me, but it is not required for permanent sobriety. That’s why we leave God mostly out of our SHOUT Sobriety program. We want you to feel welcomed regardless of you spirituality or beliefs. On this episode, we are talking about preparing to send a coming out letter to announce your alcoholism to the world. That’s what I did a year into my sobriety, and the day I sent that email was the best day of my life. You don’t need to send it today in week six of this program, but it is important to begin crafting the letter and prepare to announce your enlightenment to the world. *SHOUT Sobriety is a donation-based program. For more information, or to enroll, please click below: SHOUT Sobriety

Relationships are so important to our happiness and our success in early sobriety. Taking alcohol out of our relationships actually does not fix the problems that our years of drinking caused. Removing alcohol only makes the damage visible and allows us to work on our problems and try to fix our broken relationships. In this episode, we talk about relationships with family members as well as intimate relationships. *SHOUT Sobriety is a donation-based program. For more information, or to enroll, please click below: SHOUT Sobriety

The disease of alcoholism has many victims. The spouses and children of an alcoholic are victims. The parents and friends of an alcoholic are victims, too. The victim we forget is the alcoholic. If you are convinced alcoholism is a disease like I am, then the person afflicted with the disease is most definitely a victim. What other disease can you name where the victim is the target of blame and shame? That is no way to heal. Another important point we address in week four of the SHOUT Sobriety program is our emotional immaturity. When we have spent years, and even decades, drowning our emotions in booze, we are completely ill equiped to deal with emotions in sobriety. Our emotional maturity is frozen at the age when we started medicating with alcohol, and we have some serious maturing to do. *SHOUT Sobriety is a donation-based program. For more information, or to enroll, please click below: SHOUT Sobriety

In the third week of the SHOUT Sobriety program, we discuss two very important topics in early sobriety. We have to be patient with ourselves and our brains as we begin to recover from alcoholism. Not only does it take time for our brain chemistry to improve, but it takes time for our sobriety muscles to gain strength. Social events are dangerous for the first year of sobriety, and should be avoided when possible, and prepared for when they are required. What we eat can cure us. We are talking about a pro-recovery diet that will stimulate the generation of neurotransmitters and help us avoid cravings to drink alcohol. My good friend and nutrition expert, Kelly Miller, taught me everything I know about this subject, and it works (I am living proof)! Check out Kelly’s website or find her on social media (facebook and Instagram) at The Addiction Nutritionist. *SHOUT Sobriety is a donation-based program. For more information, or to enroll, please click below: SHOUT Sobriety

In week 2 of SHOUT Sobriety, the topic could not be more important. This week we are focused on brain chemistry. We lean how our alcohol consumption hijacks our neurotransmitters and controls the reward pathways in our brains withholding pleasure from us unless we give our brains alcohol. We also learn about the power of the subconscious mind. It really doesn’t matter that we have decided on a conscious level to quit drinking. Until we give our massively powerful subconscious time to learn new patterns, our brain will be screaming for us to give it alcohol. This truly is vitally important, life changing stuff, and I hope you enjoy and feel insightful relief from what you hear. *SHOUT Sobriety is a donation-based program. For more information, or to enroll, please click below: SHOUT Sobriety

Learn about our program to help people navigate the treacherous waters of early sobriety. It is called SHOUT Sobriety, and we offer this six week strategy for those concerned about their drinking, and for the families of those who abuse alcohol. Hear my story and what worked for me to achieve permanent sobriety. Editorial note – when I say, “strokes,” I mean, “seizures.” *SHOUT Sobriety is a donation-based program. For more information, or to enroll, please click below: SHOUT Sobriety

Michael Arnold is an alcoholic and drug addict in recovery, and she is loud and proud about it. Her rock bottom was when her heart stopped in an ambulance after suffering a seizure when she detoxed too fast. She almost died. That explains why she is so enthusiastic about her life in recovery. I am excited to have her on the podcast to talk about all of this, and her new book, Drowning in Addiction: Sink or Swim.

I’ve talked and written extensively about my relationship with my wife. Now it is her turn to talk. Hear about the damage done to our marriage as we suffered decades of alcoholism and emerged clinging to survival. This is the most emotional and raw episode we’ve ever recorded. Hear what an alcoholic marriage is all about.

Jason and Matt have interviewed experts on addiction and relationships. Now it’s time to hear the stories of the damage their addictions have caused in their own marriages. These are painful stories, but they are also the stories of survival and love.

We asked Dave Friedentag why he works with troubled youth to help them move past their drug and alcohol abuse problems and find a better way forward. He explained that high school is when he started getting into trouble and began a journey that led to the death of his brother. When we experience trauma, we want to help others avoid the same life-altering pitfalls. And we are all glad Dave chose to have the impact he has on our kids.

Counseling couples to help them navigate challenges in their relationships often involves tackling the many issues surrounding addiction. In Ep6, our Untoxicated Podcast guest, Therapist Melissa Ryan, talks with us about the ways addiction effects our interactions with the ones we love. From open and communicative partners who are willing to work to improve their relationships, to quiet and closed partners who struggle to open up, Melissa is adept at working with even the most challenging relationship dynamics. If you like Melissa as much as we do, check out her therapy practice, Cambium Counseling in Golden, Colorado. Melissa’s office number is 970-235-0913.

Everyone knows addiction is a leading cause of divorce, but did you know sobriety destroys marriages, too? Sometimes – quite often, really – couples adapt their behaviors and reactions to manage heavy drinking in the marriage. It isn’t until one or both people in the relationship get sober, and the marriage dynamics change so drastically, that the bond cannot survive. Getting healthy can poison a marriage. Matt’s good friend and outspoken recovery warrior, Simone Meyer, bravely and openly discusses her alcoholism and the damage it inflicted on her family. Her relationships with her children suffered, and there is a lot of repair work ongoing in recovery. But her marriage didn’t survive Simone’s transformation in sobriety. Listen to her brutally honest account of the collateral damage of addiction.

Why do traditional addiction recovery programs have such terrible success rates? Talk therapy, group sessions, working the steps, etc. are key components to health in sobriety, but is something missing? The Addiction Nutritionist, Kelly Miller, explains that trying to recover without a nutrition plan designed to repair the damage done in addiction is like trying to build a house without a solid foundation. Kelly explains the Recovery Diet and how eating the right foods restores our damaged neurotransmitter function. We discuss hypoglycemia, the bio types of alcoholism, gut health, the role of amino acids in recovery and the wrong advice that is so commonly given to people in early sobriety. The information Kelly shares is so fundamental it is astonishing how under-discussed nutrition is in the world of recovery. Have a little fun with this episode – try to count how many times Jason and Matt say, “Fascinating!” Kelly’s website is TheAddictionNutritionist.com, her page is The Addiction Nutritionist on facebook, and she is @theaddictionnutritionist on Instagram. She can be contacted at [email protected].

Matt’s love affair with alcohol began with sips of his dad’s beer as a kid, continued with experimentation in high school and binge drinking in college, and developed into full-blown addiction with after work cocktails and beer filled weekends as a young adult. He struggled and fought his way through life as a high-functioning alcoholic somehow managing to conceal the extent of his disease while he clung to his marriage, raised children and maintained a career. Matt’s is a unique story. It’s only been repeated millions upon millions of times. Maybe you’ve heard it before. Listen and see if it sounds familiar.

Jason’s dance with addiction really was a journey from innocent alcohol experimentation to weed, hallucinogens, cocaine and, eventually, pornography. Jason felt incomplete until he found these different ways to escape. He fought to reconcile his addictions with his Zen practice in a 20 year quest for peace. Now, Jason seeks peace in recovery.

Shhh. Did you hear about my friend’s divorce? I hear his wife told him to quit drinking or get out. Shhh. I bet my uncle will be drunk at Thanksgiving again this year. Shhh. Our neighbors canceled the trip they planned because they had to use their vacation money for their DUI lawyer. Shhh. My boss’ daughter got kicked out of school for possession of heroine. Hard to believe in their neighborhood. Addiction is everywhere. Addiction is killing us. Addiction is a growing epidemic, and no one is talking about it except in hushed whispers through looks of disappointment. It is long past time to start the conversation, and Jason Polk and Matt Salis are doing just that. Through our Untoxicated Podcast, we hope to answer our many question about addiction and recovery, and bring an end to the stigma…and the whispers.