Untoxicated Podcast

There are short-term relapses that last a day or a weekend or a week, and there are long-term relapses that last weeks or months. Can you guess which type of relapse Sheri and Matt have come to believe is more dangerous? Like everything else related to addiction and recovery, the answer is counterintuitive (and worth a listen). Also, Matt guesses right. Kelly Miller’s awesome new podcast is called The Addiction Nutritionist Podcast. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

She is back with her signature combination of charm, empathy and brutal honesty that many of our listeners recognize from her engaging and informative YouTube channel, Put the Shovel Down. Addiction Counselor Amber Hollingsworth makes a return appearance on the podcast – this time answering questions from lots of our listeners and participants in our Echoes of Recovery group. In addition to her YouTube channel, check out all the resources on her Hope for Families website. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

This episode quickly devolves into an hour long therapy session for Matt. He and Sheri talk about judgement, shame and hiding, with a healthy dose of religion and spirituality in reaction to a listener question. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Guilt can be a motivator. Guilt can be a moral compass. Guilt is not all bad. But the guilt that builds and festers in a family that is dealing with alcoholism is anything but helpful. On this episode, Sheri and Matt discuss the distinction, and offer suggestions for how we can manage the overwhelming guilt experienced in an alcoholic partnership. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Back home Again in Indiana, and Sheri and Matt were thrust unexpectedly into the deep end of alcohol impact. If you think addiction is required in order for alcohol to leave painful, traumatic memories, give this episode a listen. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

The bathing suits, blue ocean waves and smiling faces posted to social media don’t tell the true story of vacations for families experiencing alcohol addiction or early sobriety. The truth behind the strained smiles is nothing short of trauma. And the anxiety caused by past vacation implosions can haunt the loved ones for years to come. On this episode, Sheri and Matt are thrilled to host a panel of guests who share their alcohol-impacted vacation experiences. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Sheri and Matt talk about the individual pieces of recovery all the time: resentment processing, nervous system stabilization, trust building, intimacy, etc. But until now, they have never put the pieces together on a timeline. In this episode, they lay out what might be expected as you move through the stages of recovery from alcoholism – as individuals, and as a couple. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Seven women who have made the impossibly difficult choice to move on from alcoholism through divorce talk about the challenges and the triumphs of their own personal recoveries. Some had small children, some had grown children and some had no children at the time of divorce. In come cases, their ex-husbands are now sober. In some cases, their ex-husbands are still drinking. Tragically, one of the ex-husbands lost his life to this disease. And while their stories have many differences, all seven of these alcoholism warriors have one thing in common: they fought hard to find the power to choose a better outcome. As Barbara says early in the episode, “Sometimes the happy ending is the divorce.” That statement turns our societal messaging on its head. That statement is also very true, and these seven stories prove it. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Many of the people finding success in the alcoholism recovery community embrace some form of assigning the blame to the alcohol. And yet, so many people who are trying to recover, both the alcoholics and the loved ones, struggle with this concept. On this episode, Sheri and Matt break it down and try to identify the obstacles that keep people stuck: accountability, envy, fear and anger. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

If you are the spouse of an alcoholic, you deserve sobriety. But even once your relationship enters sobriety, you deserve more. You deserve a partner who carries his own weight, and is tough enough to hear the hard stuff. It is not enough to expect what you deserve. You have to be strong enough to demand it. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Sheri and Matt break trust down into three components: safety, intimacy and honesty. Trust is the last thing to come back in a marriage that has suffered through alcoholism, and understanding how to work on this tripod of relationship recovery is critical. Don’t underestimate how much harder repair is versus starting over fresh. Also, Matt shows how old he is by sharing lots of stupid sayings that need generational translation (while Sheri rolls her eyes). Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

The threat of relapse after an inpatient rehab is real, but the threat is coming from more directions than we might understand. Sheri and Matt talk about threats posed by loss of identity, a lack of emotional expression, and the trading of self-care for stress. Be cautious when those 30 days are up. No matter what the calendar or the insurance company says, growth and discovery are never over. Unless, of course, you aren’t opposed to relapse. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

As a drinker, alcohol was an major component of Matt’s identity. And alcohol also influenced how he had fun. Phrases like, “Work hard, play hard,” and, “You’ll get all the sleep you need when you’re dead,” were Matt’s mantras. So when alcohol is foundational to your identity, and play-hard partying is an emotional motivator, how the hell do you know who you are or how to have fun in sobriety? Sheri and Matt have some laughs, and a few tears, tackling this question. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Did the definitive statement of this episode title get your attention? We know there are strong emotions when it comes to sex and intimacy in relationships impacted by alcoholism, and Sheri and Matt continue to try to navigate their own experiences, stirred together with what they are learning both formally and informally. Matt reveals the identity of his intimacy hero, and Sheri starts the episode with a bold statement about why healthy intimacy is important to her. If you are waiting to tackle sex and intimacy when things get better in your relationship, you might want to give this one a listen. Hint: You might be stuck waiting forever. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Get ready to get your nutrition, exercise and healthy habits on with Graham Hawley – certified health and wellness coach, Matt’s soccer buddy and the inspiration behind Sheri’s and Matt’s plan for resentment processing (if you are sick if hearing the couple talk about weekly meetings, this is the guy you can blame). Follow Graham’s excellent videos and other resources @simplyhealthconscious on Instagram or on the web. Now let’s get rolling with some healthy habits and some accountability, and let’s avoid those lifestyle diseases (like alcoholism). Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected].

What happens when the person you trust and most rely on for mutual protection becomes the most dangerous person in your life? Does this sound like a setup for Matt to exaggerate? Hear Sheri’s emotion, and decide for yourself. See if you can listen, and still downplay the impact. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Warning – Discussion includes talk of self harm. Living with alcoholism means trying to keep the truth a secret. But as alcoholism progresses, the truth seeps out. Sheri and Matt are joined by Mindy and Deb who have both lived with and loved alcoholics, and share traumatic stories of truth. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question. Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Sheri and Matt react to Amber Hollingsworth’s advice from Ep181 about how the spouse of an alcoholic can respond to the behavior of the person suffering from addiction. Their discussion about their real-life experience demonstrates how challenging these relationships are to navigate, and how unprepared we all are for the impact of alcohol on our lives. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question. Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

She is an addiction counselor who values the role of the family in the addiction recovery process. She shares a wealth of resources on her Hope for Families website. But many of our listeners know her for her engaging and informative YouTube channel, Put the Shovel Down. She is the one and only Amber Hollingsworth, and to Sheri’s and Matt’s considerable delight, she is our guest on this episode. We cover a lot of ground from what it means to be addicted to someone, to the impact of the trauma of addiction, to dealing with resentment and restoring intimacy. Amber has a charming way of making the most difficult challenges feel doable. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question. Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Sheri and Matt review Come As You Are, the best-selling book by Dr. Emily Nagoski. They discuss sexual anatomy and how we all have the same parts just organized in different ways. Matt tells Sheri what a clitoris is, and it is worth tuning in for her reaction. They discuss Dr. Nagoski’s explanation of what hits the accelerator, and what hits the brakes, when it comes to desire, arousal, intimacy, and orgasm. And they discuss the incredibly important, and mostly ignored or misunderstood, role of circumstantial and mindset context. As if that isn’t enough, Sheri and Matt discuss how this all relates to recovering a relationship from alcoholism. If you blush when you hear the word, “penis,” you are going to want your earbuds for this one. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question (the book review starts at 23:55). Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Being on the receiving end of the lies, gaslighting and manipulation of alcoholism can make it tough to feel worthy. On this special roundtable episode, Sheri and Matt welcome five survivors with lived experience who share their successes and challenges in their battles with worthiness. These are all new voices to the podcast, with important, impactful perspectives. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question. Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Sheri and Matt are eager to break some of the generational patterns that resulted in underlying causes of addiction for Matt. In this episode, the couple talks about the habits, instinctual reactions and mannerisms that they are trying not to pass along to their kids. It is not enough to tell the children of alcoholics not to get caught in the web of addiction. We have to create an environment (complete with heaping doses of encouragement and self-esteem) that don’t lead to a need to self-medicate. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question. Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

When she found her husband drinking alcohol with their underage kids, the scene triggered an unexpectedly life-changing response. At first, Liz thought it was the last straw. After writing and processing, she realized the present-day scene was a reminder of disappointments and conditioning from her long-ago past. Through writing, Liz has come to a lot of realizations that have led her onto her own path of recovery. Matt starts the episode by answering a listener’s question. Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

The answer to this episode title has morphed over the years from: they couldn’t imagine anyone would want to listen to what they have to say, to: “imposter syndrome,” to: groups are dynamic, to: the pressure from expectations for answers sounds sucky. Is that run-on sentence confusing? Listen to the episode, and you’ll understand why you can be a student and a teachers. Listen all the way to the end, and you can hear Sheri’s idea for Matt’s billboard advertising campaign. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question. Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Eight loving, empathetic, hard-working alcoholism survivors sitting around a big microphone – it’s a roundtable episode recorded during our winter Marriagevolution Couples Retreat in the mountains of Colorado. Two couples are nearing the end of their first year of sobriety, the third couple has over three years, and Sheri and Matt are starting their seventh year. So there is a variety of experiences, opinions and emotions on full display. Clear communication and respect – respect for each other and respect for all of the possibilities – are two takeaways on which all eight participants agree. This episode is honest, emotional, and as loving as sound waves digitally stored on the internet can be. If you and your partner are working to restore your relationship in sobriety, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Marriagevolution program.

There is no arguing the fact that without alcohol, Sheri and Matt would never have met. It is also an undisputed reality that some of the best times the couple ever experienced were enhanced by alcohol. Now that Sheri and Matt openly despise alcohol for all of the damage it brought to their family, a reconciliation is in order. Before they discuss reconciling the joy and destruction of alcohol, Sheri and Matt answer a listener question about finding confidence and reconnection in sobriety, while the potential for relapse looms. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question. Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Blame the alcohol, or the alcoholism, but don’t blame the person. We say it all the time. But what if the blame isn’t just something that occurs once the addiction is firmly in place? What if blame and criticism and attempts to change our partners is one of the underlying causes of addiction? Sheri and Matt discuss the impact of years of mutual criticism and attempts to change each other. And as you’ll hear on this episode, they are much happier now just laughing at each other. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question. Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

So you made it through the holidays…well, definitely don’t let your guard down yet. January is really hard in early sobriety, and it is hard for the loved ones trying to avoid emotional relapses. On this episode, Sheri and Matt discuss the emotional drivers from the holidays that impact our self-esteem, and they give tips about what to do to have a mentally healthy start to the year. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question. Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

On this one-of-a-kind episode, Sheri and Matt have compiled the answers to this simple prompt from 17 participants in the SHOUT Sobriety and Echoes of Recovery groups: What does community mean to you? There are a lot of resonating sentiments and powerful statements in the words of the people who understand the transformational impact of community. To move past the Sheri and Matt introduction to the clips from our people, skip to the 19 minute mark. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question. Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program. If you are a high functioning alcoholic seeking to add community to your recovery, please check out our SHOUT Sobriety program.

Sheri and Matt knew they would hand down important lessons about faith and work ethic and loyalty and love of family to their kids. What they didn’t initially know was that they would also hand down troubling mannerisms, emotions and disruptions to the nervous system that would haunt their children. And the really complex part is that now that they know, there are still things Sheri and Matt struggle to stop reinforcing. I guess they learned their generationally traumatic lessons well. Breaking the cycle is hard. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question. Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Childhood experiences, including exposure to alcoholism, along with the gaslighting and denials from being married to an alcoholic, have left Sheri facing real challenges battling feelings of unworthiness. Anyone who thinks the loved one of an alcoholic should just, “Get over it,” really needs to listen to this honest and painful conversation. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question. Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

The only thing Matt knew about a connection between orgasms and addiction when he was in active alcoholism was that he sure liked to have sex when he was drinking. But now he has done the research, and Sheri and Matt connect the dots explaining the reason for the orgasm gap between men and women, and how challenges with sexual pleasure and satisfaction are both an underlying cause of, and also a result from, alcoholism. Not only do they identify this problem that starts in K-12 public school education, but they also invite Kathy back to the podcast to discuss the steps we can take to influence public policy in a way that helps narrow the orgasm gap resulting in a positive impact on addiction prevention and recovery. Whoa, that is a lot of deep and taboo ground to cover in an hour. And Matt only blushes a little when he talks about the clitoris. To read the associated blog post on Sober and Unashamed, and for the details about the research studies Matt references on this episode, please click here. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question. Do you want to ask the couple something too? If so, send your question to [email protected].

A manicured lawn, beautiful social media photos, and a well-kept house are often signs that something sinister lurks hiding behind the perfection. On this episode, Sheri and Matt welcome Karen and Adam to the conversation because of their experiences with no longer pretending. They discuss the incredible relief found in moving past the stoic wall, refusing to portray everything as “fine,” and finding a communities – both small and large – where we can be 100% authentic. What goes up, must come down. But the things we push down, eventually, must come up and out, too. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Do you find satisfaction in an accomplishment, or does an achievement just drive you to keep pushing forward? If you, like Matt, relate to the latter, watch out! You just might be on a path toward addiction. On this episode, Sheri and Matt take a listener’s question, and explain how motivation contributed to Matt’s high-functioning alcoholism. Do you want to ask Sheri and Matt a question too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Hannah has been through a lot, and now she is recovering from her traumatic and abusive experience with the alcoholism of her husband. Sheri and Matt are honored to call her a dear friend, and they feel her pain and celebrate her growth on this very difficult episode. Hannah’s story is a cautionary tale of the progressive nature of alcoholism, and how bad it can get. Listen to how her love for her children was the ultimate factor in her finding the freedom they all deserve. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

At the heart of all relationship struggles we will find communication challenges. On this episode, Sheri and Matt recall all the communication mistakes they have made with their kids. Some of it was a direct result of alcoholism. Some mistakes were made naively as they navigated uncharted territory. Some mistakes continue (especially from Matt) even though they now know better. One thing is for sure – not communicating with kids who have experienced alcoholism is not a healthy option. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Sheri and Matt have had some awful alcoholic Halloween experiences. Last year, they recapped the trauma on Ep111. This year, the couple is talking about the joy and laughter they are experiencing on their sixth consecutive sober Halloween month (yes, Matt celebrates Halloween for a whole month). Do you think sobriety is boring? Well, after you listen to this, you might not change your mind. But you’ll definitely think twice about taking advice from these two chuckling sobriety peddlers with their questionable movie choices and bad parenting decisions. Keep listening, at your own risk, for some tips on navigating the other looming holidays free from the terror of alcohol. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

We humans are hard on ourselves. In fact, it is widely believed that no one will ever be as hard on us as we are on ourselves. Sheri and Matt have experience with that point of view, and on this episode, they share why your perceived self-weakness might just be bravery leading to hope. Cut yourself some slack and listen to their perspective. Also, listen to Matt give Sheri makeup tips. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Pain is thought of as an almost exclusively negative emotion and experience. But does pain serve a purpose? Is pain necessary for forward motion in certain scenarios? And is recovery from alcoholism one such scenario? Sheri and Matt sure think so. Their understanding of pain is not just about progress. On this episode, the couple shares their understanding of pain that can help release shame in the times when we get stuck. They also both have real-time epiphanies of about how pain influences our actions. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

What comes first, safety or connection? Can two married people be in two different relationships when it comes to trust and implied consent? Is there guilt inherent in detachment, and rejection inherent in sex without emotional intimacy? Sheri and Matt are joined by Julia and Liz to tackle these incredibly heavy topics. There is not a psychologist among them, but yet, as lived-experience experts, they uncover a lot of therapeutic truth. And Liz solves it all with an analogy to Chutes and Ladders. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Can forgiveness be achieved without an apology ever being offered? Likewise, can we find comfort in feeling remorse without ever being forgiven? On this special roundtable episode, Sheri and Matt are joined by four lived-experience experts to discuss the power of forgiveness. We are confident you will learn something new, or reconsider what you thought to be true, after listening to this conversation between Dawn, Karen, Mike and Lori. These are some distinctly different personalities and perspectives who have done some serious forgiveness work. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

In order for a relationship to survive alcoholism, both partners, the former drinker, and the spouse, need to do an amazing amout of work in recovery. It is not about sobriety, although that is a prerequisite. It is about individual healing and growth. Those two strong people can then come back together to make their relationship thrive. On this episode, Sheri and Matt talk about the different ways one partner or the other can prevent relationship recovery – because they can’t or won’t find healing themselves. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Sheri and Matt welcome The Addiction Nutritionist, Kelly Miller, back to the podcast to learn more from this amazing nutrition therapist and recovery coach, and to apply her nutrition lessons to the recovery of the loved ones of people battling addiction. Do you want to feel better, reduce anxiety and regulate your haywire nervous system? If so, this episode is for you. It is full of practical nutrition tips, busted myths, and lots of counterintuitive knowledge about recovery. Kelly lights up the microphone as she shares her passion for feeling better and living better. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Alcoholism has lots of victims – including the drinker. High-functioning alcoholics in sobriety often have a really hard time accepting their victim status for a variety of reasons discussed by Sheri and Matt on this episode. But owning the victim label disarms the stigma and ends the shame cycle. It’s an important, but largely rejected, philosophy. Acknowledging victimhood can get people stuck, or it can lead to freedom. Sheri and Matt tackle another complex recovery issue. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Last week, we published this article titled, “Your Wife’s Not a Bitch,” to our Sober and Unashamed website and blog. We got a lot of reaction, most of it in the form of email from the spouses of alcoholics describing the different ways our assertions were rejected. In this episode of the podcast, Sheri and Matt discuss the reactions, and the importance of creating a safe place for honest communication to thrive – because the death of communication will be the ultimate death of any relationship. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Sheri and Matt dive deep into Sheri’s favorite topic: intimacy. But this discussion might not be what you are expecting. They separate emotional intimacy from sex, and describe emotional intimacy as the ultimate vulnerability (complete with figurative nudity). Emotional intimacy is both really difficult (made infinitely harder by alcohol abuse), and also a key to relationship recovery. Confused much? Give it a listen, and see if you agree with their expertless assertions. Stick around to hear Sheri talk about stepping on Matt’s unit. OK…it is a little bit about sex. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Do you want to know what it takes to save a marriage from alcoholism? One word: genuine humility. OK, that’s two words. And it also takes therapy, group work, hard-earned detachment, faith, resentment processing, group work, and persistence. But it can’t be done without an abundance of genuine humility. Mindy and Tom join Matt on this episode. Tom lays some truth on us explaining a cornerstone of their marriage recovery: “She has a voice that deserves to be heard.” When asked if she was worried that Tom might drink while the couple was separated, Mindy says, “I didn’t care.” She couldn’t afford to worry about him while trying to save herself. The importance of the lessons from Mindy and Tom’s story cannot be overstated. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program. If you are a high-functioning alcoholic working on sobriety, please check out our SHOUT Sobriety program.

The brain is the final frontier of human biology, so the full impact of alcohol on our gray matter is a topic that undergoes continuous discovery. In this episode, Sheri and Matt discuss five ways alcohol impacts us neurologically – four impacts on the drinkers, and one substantial impact on the brains of the people who are in consistently close proximity to the drinkers (like spouses). They also talk about flying squirrel suits and the most famous wizard. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

The official cause of death was, “Complications of chronic ethanolism.” We all knew Suzy’s husband Matt was struggling and relapsing, but no one is ever really ready for death by alcohol. Suzy Jahn joins Sheri and Matt on this episode, and she tells her story of hope lost, and of hope regained by her work in recovery, and through the love of her family. Suzy is exceptionally strong as she navigates the mourning and rebuilding process – a process no one should ever have to go through. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

To celebrate our 150th podcast episode, we gathered in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains for our first ever Echoes of Recovery retreat. We took a break from hiking and hot springs to record this very special podcast episode together – fourteen people around the same microphone sharing the same story with their own individual details and perspectives. If you think you are alone as the spouse of someone suffering from alcohol addiction, this one is for you. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.