Untoxicated Podcast

New from Sober and Unashamed: “I Wish She Would Die” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “I Wish She Would Die” Click here to take our survey on attraction and relationships. To read this and much more, check out or Sober and Unashamed Blog.

Humans are complicated, and when we lose someone, or separate from someone, we have to reconcile the good memories and the bad. Yes, there is relief that the trauma and toxicity are over. But getting to the feeling of relief…that is a challenge that deserves attention. Click here to take our survey on attraction and relationships. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

“I made myself small to cope.” This is a sentiment expressed by the loved ones of alcoholics who get used to walking on egg shells, and also the alcoholics themselves who shrink to avoid detection about the extent of their drinking. Sheri and Matt talk about finding their voices in recovery, including the introduction of the concept of sacrifice as an aspect of Emotional Masculinity. Click here to take our survey on attraction and relationships. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

New from Sober and Unashamed: “Atrophied Intelligence” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Atrophied Intelligence” Click here to take our survey on attraction and relationships. To read this and much more, check out or Sober and Unashamed Blog.

When relationships deteriorate, as frequently happens in an alcoholic marriage, partners often stay together clinging to the romantic fairytale or because of binding dysfunction that makes leaving feel impossible. In this episode, Sheri and Matt highlight 11 common examples. Click here to take our survey on attraction and relationships. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

New from Sober and Unashamed: “The Divorce Rate is Too Low” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “The Divorce Rate is Too Low” Click here to take our survey on attraction and relationships. To read this and much more, check out or Sober and Unashamed Blog.

In order for relationships to evolve to meet the demands of consistent emotional safety, many of us need to first understand the assignment. On this episode, Sheri and Matt discuss how masculinity can evolve to provide and protect emotional safety in partnerships and families. Click here to take our survey on attraction and relationships. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

New from Sober and Unashamed: “Bizarre at the Boathouse, Part 2” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Bizarre at the Boathouse, Part 2” Click here to take our survey on attraction and relationships. To read this and much more, check out or Sober and Unashamed Blog.

Sex in a committed partnership should never be considered obligatory. Sex should be earned, and on this episode, Sheri and Matt discuss the sequence of events that leads to mutually satisfying sex. If there is drinking in your relationship that is blamed on the lack of sex, this episode is for you. Click here to take our survey on attraction and relationships. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

New from Sober and Unashamed: “Bizarre at the Boathouse, Part 1” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Bizarre at the Boathouse, Part 1” Click here to take our survey on attraction and relationships. To read this and much more, check out or Sober and Unashamed Blog.

Lundy Bancroft is the author of the world’s best selling book on domestic violence titled, “Why Does He Do That?” He has spent the last three decades counseling men who abuse and consulting with their victims. On this episode, Lundy explains that, “An active alcoholic will never deal with his abusiveness,” and about a million other fascinating aspects of all kinds of abuse. We bet you’ll be surprised by some of the control and manipulation tactics defined as physical abuse. Click here to take our survey on attraction and relationships. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

New from Sober and Unashamed: “Progress” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Progress” Click here to take our survey on attraction and relationships. To read this and much more, check out or Sober and Unashamed Blog.

Our society has changed dramatically in the last century, and the gender gap has been almost completely eliminated. But our culture still has some catching up to do. Sheri and Matt explore the concept of emotional masculinity, taking emotional safety to the next level. If you are a man trying to figure out your role or identity, this conversation is for you. Click here to take our survey on attraction and relationships. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

New from Sober and Unashamed: “Yummy Summer of Turd” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Yummy Summer of Turd” Click here to take our survey on attraction and relationships. To read this and much more, check out or Sober and Unashamed Blog.

From high school through young adulthood, the pressure felt by people in their teens and 20s is unlike anything experienced by preceding generations. Sheri and Matt offer evidence of the enormous stress of entering adulthood, speculate about the causes, and discuss what we all can do to alleviate the pressure (hint: we can’t wait for government policy intervention). Click here to take our survey on attraction and relationships. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

New from Sober and Unashamed: “Rubber Stamping a Toxic Culture” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Rubber Stamping a Toxic Culture” Click here to take our survey on attraction and relationships. To read this and much more, check out or Sober and Unashamed Blog.

There is comfort in assigning the blame for relationship dysfunction and emotional abuse on the alcohol or the addiction. But what if we could make a cultural shift to prevent the need for blame and shame? Sheri and Matt discuss what would happen if we added emotional abuse to the list of behaviors that cross a clear red line. Click here to take our survey on attraction and relationships. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

New from Sober and Unashamed: “Senseless Urgency” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Senseless Urgency” Click here to take our survey on attraction and relationships. To read this and much more, check out or Sober and Unashamed Blog.

Lara Hammock is a licenced clinical social worker and mental health therapist working with both individuals and couples. She is creative and inventive, and Lara joins Sheri and Matt to share her COME-TO method to complain constructively. Listeners who like a great acronym, and love to hear Sheri tell it like it is, will enjoy hearing Sheri process a real life complaint she has about Matt. Check out all the tools Lara shares on her website, including a download of her COME-TO worksheet. Click here to take our survey on attraction and relationships. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

New from Sober and Unashamed: “A.B.D.” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “A.B.D.” Click here to take our survey on attraction and relationships. To read this and much more, check out or Sober and Unashamed Blog.

Even when done with loving intent, restriction and control does not lead to the desired results of obedience and conformity: restriction leads to rebellion. Just ask anyone ever who has tried to control someone else’s drinking. Click here to take our survey on attraction and relationships. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

New from Sober and Unashamed: “Good Morning, Gorgeous” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Good Morning, Gorgeous” Click here to take our survey on attraction and relationships. To read this and much more, check out or Sober and Unashamed Blog.

Sheri answers listener questions about everything from her rock-bottom moments that resulted from Matt’s alcoholism, to what she would do differently if she had the chance to do it all over again. Many answers are emotional because learning and surviving are both painful. Matt lightens things up by starting the episode with a riddle, and an analysis of why people feel unconditional love for their pets. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program. If you would like to support the Untoxicated Podcast with an monthly tax deductible $10 donation, please go to SupportUntoxicated.org.

New from Sober and Unashamed: “Dudes on the Struggle Bus” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Dudes on the Struggle Bus” To read this and much more, check out or Sober and Unashamed Blog.

Evolutionary Psychologist Dr. Menelaos Apostolou does research around this unfortunate historical fact: Until sometime in the past 100 years, men had all the sexual power in most cultures around the world. The traditional power dynamic will come as no surprise to our listeners. However, on this episode, Sheri and Matt discuss some disturbing theoretical evolutionary impacts of that inequity that will plague us humans well into the future. We bet you’ve never considered this stuff, stuff exacerbated by alcoholism. And after listening, you won’t be able to ignore it. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program. If you would like to support the Untoxicated Podcast with an monthly tax deductible $10 donation, please go to SupportUntoxicated.org.

New from Sober and Unashamed: “Courtesy Flush” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Courtesy Flush” To read this and much more, check out or Sober and Unashamed Blog.

We’re not rooting for divorce, we are rooting for people to be treated with respect. And in the absence of respect, we are rooting for people to extract themselves from a toxic situation. After they talk through all the relationship problems in recovery, Matt the Gnat makes plans to haul around Sheri’s Cat Cuddle Bus. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program. If you would like to support the Untoxicated Podcast with an monthly tax deductible $10 donation, please go to SupportUntoxicated.org.

New from the Underlying Issues Series on Sober and Unashamed: “(Un)Lone Bone” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “(Un)Lone Bone” To read this and much more, check out or Sober and Unashamed Blog.

Maybe people don’t need more instruction about how to do resentment processing. What people need is an acknowledgement of their fear of resentment processing. The fear is quite real, and Sheri and Matt talk all about it. If you would like to vote on the name for Sheri’s cat truck business, please email [email protected] and choose between the finalists: Cat Cuddle Bus and Tiny Tiger Rolling Litter Labyrinth. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program. If you would like to support the Untoxicated Podcast with an monthly tax deductible $10 donation, please go to SupportUntoxicated.org.

New from the Underlying Issues Series on Sober and Unashamed: “Bitch” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Bitch” To read this and much more, check out or Sober and Unashamed Blog.

Amber Hollingsworth makes her fourth appearance on the podcast to talk about how she developed her innovative approach to addiction recovery that involves both the substance user and the family members. As a licensed addiction counselor with over two decades of experience, if you like what Amber has to say, please check out her Put the Shovel Down YouTube channel. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program. If you would like to support the Untoxicated Podcast with an monthly tax deductible $10 donation, please go to SupportUntoxicated.org.

Amber Hollingsworth is a licensed addiction counselor who has been working with individuals and families struggling with addiction since 2004. She hosts and produces one of the most valuable resources in the recovery community, the Put the Shovel Down YouTube channel. About Soberlink, Amber says, “It is the most effective tool out there for getting someone sober and keeping them sober. More effective than going to meetings.” Please listen to Amber’s full unsolicited endorsement.

New from the Underlying Issues Series on Sober and Unashamed: “Marriage Rash” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Marriage Rash” To read this and much more, check out or Sober and Unashamed Blog.

“There’s always a but when you’re dealing with an ass.” Sheri explains Matt’s reluctance to seek sobriety support for his active alcoholism. If you hesitate to ask for help, if your partner refuses to engage with a program, or if Sheri’s instant-classic quote resonates for you, please give this episode a listen. Here are the two links promised for the show notes: Matt’s vulnerability rewarded in initial conversations about his alcoholism, and Ep245 – Emotional Abuse with Paul Colaianni. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program. If you would like to support the Untoxicated Podcast with an monthly tax deductible $10 donation, please go to SupportUntoxicated.org.

New from the Underlying Issues Series on Sober and Unashamed: “Keep My Food Out of Your Mouth” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Keep My Food Out of Your Mouth” To read this and much more, check out or Sober and Unashamed Blog.

Live from the 2025 Echoes of Recovery retreat along Bear Creek in the Rocky Mountains our roundtable discusses the challenges of putting their confidence that their partners’ drinking is problematic into the right action steps. It is difficult. It is a process. Please listen if you could use some tips on putting knowing into action. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program. If you would like to support the Untoxicated Podcast with an monthly tax deductible $10 donation, please go to SupportUntoxicated.org.

New from Sober and Unashamed: “Do You See What I See?” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Do You See What I See?” To read this and much more, check out or Sober and Unashamed Blog.

Unfiltered and unprepped, Sheri answers a wide range of emotional and tactical questions about how she navigated Matt’s alcoholism and sobriety, and what she might have done if faced with different circumstances. Sheri earns here elite preferred status on this episode. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program. If you would like to support the Untoxicated Podcast with an monthly tax deductible $10 donation, please go to SupportUntoxicated.org.

New from Sober and Unashamed: “Insignificance” Maybe you are unaware of our hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Or maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to our latest written offering titled: “Insignificance” To read this and much more, check out or Sober and Unashamed Blog.

We talked about the decision to stay or to go on Ep69. Ep214 and 217 were both roundtable episodes with people who had separated and divorced. On the flip side, Ep242 and 243 were roundtables featuring people who had decided to stay in their relationships. This episode is a twist on all of those discussions. The Ep302 roundtable tackles the topic of therapeutic temporary separation with the intent of getting back together. In some cases, the time apart helped the relationship, and in other cases, it helped clarify the need to make the separation permanent. For all four of our panelists, the separation helped them make incredible individual progress toward healing. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program. If you would like to support the Untoxicated Podcast with an monthly tax deductible $10 donation, please go to SupportUntoxicated.org.

Foreplay is often thought of as erotic touch intended for sexual stimulation. Sheri and Matt have conducted research with thirteen couples recovering their partnerships from alcoholism. The research indicates that establishing emotional intimacy in a relationship might be a much more effective form of foreplay with the potential to improve sexual satisfaction by 40%. That’s a big number. If you would like to support the Untoxicated Podcast with an monthly tax deductible $10 donation, please go to SupportUntoxicated.org If you are ready to leave alcohol behind and explore growth and recovery with a modern approach to sobriety, please check out our SHOUT Sobriety program.

New from Sober and Unashamed: “An Open Letter to My Children” Maybe you are unaware of our hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Or maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to our latest written offering titled: “An Open Letter to My Children” To read this and much more, check out or Sober and Unashamed Blog.

The Hummingbird Ninjas are the OGs of the Echoes of Recovery program – our support group for the loved ones of alcoholics. This reunion roundtable episode is an update on their progress in growth and discovery since their attendance at the first ever Echoes of Recovery live retreat in the summer of 2022 where they recorded Ep150. The changes are amazing. These women are thriving – some in relationships in recovery, and some leading their best lives post-marriage. Listen to their answers when asked at the end of the episode if they would come back together for a week in the mountains. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program. If you would like to support the Untoxicated Podcast with an monthly tax deductible $10 donation, please go to SupportUntoxicated.org.

New from Sober and Unashamed: “Dance Like Everybody’s Watching” Maybe you are unaware of our hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Or maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to our latest written offering titled: “Dance Like Everybody’s Watching” To read this and much more, check out or Sober and Unashamed Blog.

Doing the hard work of recovery, for the former drinker and the partner, is how we reduce anxiety, regulate our nervous systems, start to rebuild trust, and grow to our potential. There is no bigger gift to our families than to prioritize our recoveries. Sheri and Matt discuss things that do not prioritize recovery work, and are, therefore, total crap. They also talk about ear hair and porn and Sheri’s cat’s popularity on YouTube, so hang on for twists and turns. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program. If you would like to support the Untoxicated Podcast with an monthly tax deductible $10 donation, please go to SupportUntoxicated.org.

New from Sober and Unashamed: “Cabbage Overdose” Maybe you are unaware of our hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Or maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to our latest written offering titled: “Cabbage Overdose” To read this and much more, check out or Sober and Unashamed Blog.

Kathy and Nikki have lived through the trauma and chaos of alcoholism. With both of their husbands now years into sobriety, Kathy and Nikki are evolving their recovery work into continued growth and self care with the Defining You podcast and facebook page. Are you curious about what’s next beyond recovery? Kathy and Nikki explore challenges and interests that might challenge and interest you, too. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program. If you would like to support the Untoxicated Podcast with an monthly tax deductible $10 donation, please go to SupportUntoxicated.org.

New from Sober and Unashamed: “An Evolving Tradition” Maybe you are unaware of our hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Or maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to our latest written offering titled: “An Evolving Tradition” To read this and much more, check out or Sober and Unashamed Blog.

For a long time – through early sobriety and years into growth and recovery – Matt shared the blame for his addiction with his father, with Big Beverage, with AA, and with other societal influences. He shared the blame because he couldn’t carry the stigma and burden himself. Only through the powerful recovery dimension of time can Matt own the blame for his addiction and peacefully release the people and institutions who served a vital role in helping him get over the guilt and shame. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program. If you would like to support the Untoxicated Podcast with an monthly tax deductible $10 donation, please go to SupportUntoxicated.org.

New from Sober and Unashamed: “Who the f&@% is this guy?” Maybe you are unaware of our hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Or maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to our latest written offering titled: “Who the f&@% is this guy?” To read this and much more, check out or Sober and Unashamed Blog.