Untoxicated Podcast

Our latest essay from our Untoxicated blog: “She IS Stuck in the Past” “You said we would only be there for a little while. A couple of beers, you said. The kids and I left you there at almost midnight. When you stumbled in at 2am, fell up the back stairs, and started calling my name, I was afraid you were going to wake the kids. I didn’t want them to see you like that. I didn’t want them to see me as angry as I was.” My wife brought up that memory more than once. I used to ask her why she couldn’t get out of the past. “You are stuck, Sheri. That was years ago. I’ve been sober for a long time. Why can’t you be proud of the man I’ve become?”… If you are ready to work through the trauma and shame, as the drinker or the partner of a drinker, please take our brief survey at UntoxicatedSurvey.org so we can share resources, including a free ebook.

Diana Romanov practices family law in California, and she believes in client education and harnessing the power of technology to partner with her clients to guide them through the emotionally difficult process of divorce. We ask Diana about custody, mediation, reconciliation, gender trends, AI/digital divorce, the cost of winning, and the weaponization of the wedding vows. This is not legal advice, but Diana’s Divorce Like a Boss with Diana YouTube channel, and her 2023 book of the same name, are valuable educational resources for anyone considering the end of an alcoholic marriage. Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.

Our latest essay from our Untoxicated blog: “Jen, part two” (Click here to listen to part one.) Old academic papers on the impact of alcoholism on kids are plentiful. The studies from the end of last century usually suggest that the family stay together. That’s one of the things I despise about behavioral health research. Humans are complex and coercible, and an experienced academic can usually design a study to get the results that validate his assertions. People haven’t changed much since the start of this new millennium, but the advice sure has. It is widely believed among family psychologists that what children need is one stable parent, to provide emotional support, physical safety, and healthy adult modeling. Staying in a toxic marriage for the sake of the kids is finally being openly criticised for being as ludicrous as it sounds. Between the popular research-driven myth that Jen should keep her family together for the sake of her kids, and her financial dependence on her husband, when considering divorce, the cons column was stacked… If you are ready to focus on what matters, as the drinker or the partner of a drinker, please take our brief survey at UntoxicatedSurvey.org so we can share resources, including a free ebook.

Mike Hamm is the partner of a drinker in recovery. He really relates to many of Sheri’s experiences. As a man, he also shares struggles with Matt. On this episode, Sheri, Matt, and Hammer talk about missed red flags, communication problems, gender instincts, brushes with the law, suicide, anger management, individual recovery, relationship repair, emotional safety, emotional intimacy, and Emotional Masculinity. Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.

Our latest essay from our Untoxicated blog: “Jen, part one” Mindfuckery. That’s how she described the cognitive dissonance of sitting in the waiting room while her son’s wisdom teeth were being extracted–doing one of the most motherly things a mother can do–while her husband sat it jail… If you are ready to focus on what matters, as the drinker or the partner of a drinker, please take our brief survey at UntoxicatedSurvey.org so we can share resources, including a free ebook.

Dual Diagnosis is a medical term for when someone experiences a substance use disorder and a co-occurring mental health concern. Sheri and Matt expand the definition to include behavioral addictions, talk about the impact of stigma and pathologizing, discuss Matt’s specific diagnoses, and share stories from the cases with which they have experience. Dual Diagnosis likely impacts the majority of alcoholics. This conversation can bring awareness and validation to drinkers and partners. Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.

Our latest essay from our Untoxicated blog: “It Won’t Matter” I wish I could deliver a message to my younger self. Many messages, really, to many earlier versions of me. Like that the penis my college friends drew on my forehead with permanent marker when I passed out would not, in fact, impact the rest of my life. Or that leaving my sales-manager job in a steel company that was for sale upgrading to a steel company that later declared bankruptcy was not, actually, the stupidest move ever. Or even more recently, that the knee injury I suffered playing soccer last summer was not the end, and that I was not yet relegated to the chair workouts Instagram feels are age appropriate. Those tips would have been useful. But in mid-March 2026, I am thinking about the advice I would give a late 20-teens version of me about Saint Patrick’s Day… If you are ready to focus on what matters, as the drinker or the partner of a drinker, please take our brief survey at UntoxicatedSurvey.org so we can share resources, including a free ebook.

Are you an alcoholic, or are you a gray-area drinker? Are you avoiding confrontation, or do you have topics that you might find benefits from addressing? Are you an emotional abuser, or are you too reactive? Word choice matters, and Matt has a habit of choosing the most stigmatized, direct, and toxic words. Sheri helps Matt consider nuance. Matt needs a lot of help. Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.

Our latest essay from our Untoxicated blog: “The Family Scar” Before they served us our farewell dinner, our neighbors of twenty years, while enjoying the evening sun of newly saved daylight on their back deck, asked our youngest two boys what their fondest memories were of the house we are leaving behind. I froze in a mini-panic. “The time Drunk Dad got so mad that he punched a framed picture spreading glass all over our bedroom.” “Listening to Mom and Dad whisper-fight well into the morning through the heating ducts.” Those were the traumatic memories that flooded my brain as I waited for our sons to speak… If you are ready to work on getting comfortable with your scar, as the drinker or the partner of a drinker, please take our brief survey at UntoxicatedSurvey.org so we can share resources, including a free ebook.

Sheri and Matt explain the relief that the partners of drinkers experience in different scenarios as relationship status and possibly drinking status change. Recovery isn’t about rekindled romance or a revived fairytale. For the partners, the ultimate goal is relief from chaos and trauma. And most drinkers don’t understand how important that nervous system relief truly is. Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.

Our latest essay from the Evolution Series from our Untoxicated blog: Consequences of Confrontation Confrontation has long been hard for me, and I have worked tirelessly to avoid it. My conflict avoidance is also probably one of the reasons that my marriage has survived. While I acknowledge that past, I am moving into a new version of the future… If you are ready to pursue your own personal answers about having enough, and about the impact of alcohol on your life, either as the drinker or the partner, please take our survey so we can engage you where you are in your own discovery process. UntoxicatedSurvey.org

This is one of the most extreme cases of an incredibly normal experience. What started for Jen as social drinking with a new boyfriend eventually built to emotional abuse, financial abuse, physical abuse, and narcissistic behavior years into marriage. Jen had to pull herself and her kids from danger, and start over personally and professionally. This is a relatable story on overdrive. Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.

Our latest essay from our Untoxicated blog: Enough Is having enough about getting more or needing less? I was at a casual lunch meeting with six people and two eight-slice pizzas. I ate one slice of pepperoni and one slice of margherita. I was still hungry, and the pizza was really delicious, but you could not have force-fed me a third slice… If you are ready to pursue your own personal answers about having enough, and about the impact of alcohol on your life, either as the drinker or the partner, please take our survey so we can engage you where you are in your own discovery process. UntoxicatedSurvey.org

In this quarterly session with licensed clinical social worker and mental health therapist, Lara Hammock, Sheri and Matt ask Lara listener questions about trauma and triggers, reconnection after detachment, the recovery timeline, and moderation after alcoholism. Lara also gives feedback on relationship confrontation and Matt’s insecurities. The episode ends with a vulnerable conversation about mental health while navigating the Epstein scandal and tragedy. Please check out Lara’s new YouTube channel @theIllustratingTherapist. To ask Lara a question for next quarter’s episode, email [email protected] with “Ask Lara” as the subject. Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.

New from Sober and Unashamed: “Shameful Awakening” We hope you will engage. Please read and leave a comment about where you are in your process on our Sober and Unashamed website and blog here.

Trigger warning: Epstein and power addiction (to skip graphic discussion, please go to 17:45). Do you recognize this cycle: Conflict, huffiness, a period of no contact, maybe a half-assed apology, an attitude of “water under the bridge” / never speak of this again, and lingering resentments that haunts? If so, this episode is for you, whether you are from the Midwest or not. Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.

New from Sober and Unashamed: “Catastrophism” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Catastrophism” Take the survey about alcoholism and emotional safety. To read this and much more, check out our Sober and Unashamed blog.

Dan Purcell is an intimacy coach and the host of the Get Your Marriage On! podcast. Sheri and Matt ask Dan about taboo subjects around sexuality, safety, enthusiastic consent, desire discrepancy, reactive arousal, stress, and shame. For all of Dan’s resources, go to GetYourMarriageOn.com. Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.

New from Sober and Unashamed: “Soft Pillows” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Soft Pillows” Take the survey about alcoholism and emotional safety. To read this and much more, check out our Sober and Unashamed blog.

Sheri talks about breaking free from an instinctual and conditioned compulsion to prioritize Matt’s needs over hers. Her transformation has not only had a positive personal effect, but it has made her more effective at home, at work, and in the community. Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.

New from Sober and Unashamed: “Cold Hands” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Cold Hands” To read this and much more, check out our Sober and Unashamed blog.

Sara Kaufman-Bradstreet got sober, along with her husband, six years ago, and she talks with Sheri and Matt about triggers, parenting, the alcoholic label, stuffing emotions, sex and intimacy, going public, and self-confidence. Please check out Sara @NoMoreWastedDays on Instagram, TikTok, and facebook, and listen to the No More Wasted Days podcast. Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.

New from Sober and Unashamed: “And I Thought Alcohol Addiction Was Dangerous” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “And I Thought Alcohol Addiction Was Dangerous” To read this and much more, check out our Sober and Unashamed blog.

In her 25 years as a couples therapist, Amy Lombardi, LPC, has worked with thousands of people, and can think of zero clients for whom alcohol has enhanced their life or relationship. In fact, alcohol is quite often a stated or underlying reason for partnership dysfunction. Amy talks with Sheri and Matt about imposter syndrome, resentment processing, trauma, defensiveness, blame shifting, detachment, healthy connection, self-confidence, and narcissism. Amy gives an enthusiastic endorsement of the need for Emotional Masculinity. Please follow her @AmyOnRelationships on Instagram and TikTok. Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.

Kelly, Melanie, and Tess make a return visit to the podcast, this time to share their hard-earned wisdom about their pitfalls and successes in navigating the world of dating after alcoholic marriages. Insights and laughter are plentiful. If you are consider reentry into the dating scene, this is 90 minutes that will save you months of frustration. For a free trial month in Echoes of Recovery or SHOUT Sobriety, please start the enrollment process in January. If you have been impacted by your partner’s drinking or emotional abuse, go to EchoesOfRecovery.org. If you are leaving alcohol behind or trying to create an environment of emotional safety, go to SHOUTSobriety.org.

New from Sober and Unashamed: “Million-Dollar Endorsement” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Million-Dollar Endorsement” To read this and much more, check out our Sober and Unashamed blog.

Emotional abuse doesn’t leave visible bruises. Emotional abuse is always one weak apology away from being brushed under the rug. But trust and physical intimacy are impossible without emotional safety, and anything that disrupts emotional safety is abuse. Sheri and Matt talk through 10 forms of emotional abuse, from the obvious to the subtle. For a free trial month in Echoes of Recovery or SHOUT Sobriety, please start the enrollment process in January. If you have been impacted by your partner’s drinking or emotional abuse, go to EchoesOfRecovery.org. If you are leaving alcohol behind or trying to create an environment of emotional safety, go to SHOUTSobriety.org.

New from Sober and Unashamed: “The Cruelty of Addiction” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “The Cruelty of Addiction” To read this and much more, check out our Sober and Unashamed Blog.

In this second episode of a two-part series, Sheri and Matt talk about how anxiety, depression, and nervous system activation continued into the first several holiday seasons of Matt’s permanent sobriety. If you are going through the holidays without alcohol, don’t let perfection be the enemy of peacefulness. If the alcohol consumption of your partner created chaos, trauma, or nervous-system dysregulation, please take our one-minute survey to find out if you belong in Echoes of Recovery.

New from Kelly from the Evolution Series on Sober and Unashamed: “Christmas Card” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Christmas Card” To read this and much more, check out our Sober and Unashamed Blog.

In this first episode in a two-part series about the impact of alcohol and the holidays, Sheri and Matt tell stories of Matt’s active addiction, and the trauma, chaos, and nervous system dysregulation alcohol caused. Is there a story that hits home for you? If the alcohol consumption of your partner created chaos, trauma, or nervous-system dysregulation, please take our one-minute survey to find out if you belong in Echoes of Recovery.

New from Sober and Unashamed: “Elephant Around the Christmas Tree” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Elephant Around the Christmas Tree” To read this and much more, check out our Sober and Unashamed Blog.

It is widely believed that we are harder on ourselves than anyone else will ever be on us. How did we get this way? Is the societal conditioning different for women than for men? How does alcohol impact our self doubt? Most importantly, how can we break our negative cycles? If the alcohol consumption of your partner created chaos, trauma, or nervous-system dysregulation, please take our one-minute survey to find out if you belong in Echoes of Recovery.

New from Sober and Unashamed: “Parents Crushing Kids’ Emotional Grit” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Parents Crushing Kids’ Emotional Grit” To read this and much more, check out or Sober and Unashamed Blog.

Addiction is a spectrum disorder, and the overwhelming abundance of access to dopamine in our culture means awareness is our only hope. Listen to help you determine where you are on the spectrum with your addictions (hint: if you don’t think you have any addictions, but you do have habits, patterns, and routines, you should probably give this a listen). The tsunami isn’t coming. It’s here. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

New from Sober and Unashamed: “Masculinity that’s NOT Toxic” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Masculinity that’s NOT Toxic” To read this and much more, check out or Sober and Unashamed Blog.

The results are in! More than physical features, more than financial resources, people are looking for Kindness and Emotional Safety in potential partners and within committed relationships. Matt shares the results of our recent survey taken by many podcast listeners, and Sheri reveals her answers to the research questions. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

New from Sober and Unashamed: “3 Things I Love about Friendsgiving” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “3 Things I Love about Friendsgiving” To read this and much more, check out or Sober and Unashamed Blog.

It is easy to calculate the costs associated with dissolving a relationship, but when people fight to stay together, they often fail to analyze the costs of maintaining the partnership. Sheri and Matt discuss the costs of marriage that linger even after years of individual recovery from alcoholism. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

New from Sober and Unashamed: “Emotional Safety is a Dying Fad” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Emotional Safety is a Dying Fad” To read this and much more, check out or Sober and Unashamed Blog.

Introducing our new quarterly series with listener questions answered by Lara Hammock, licenced clinical social worker and mental health therapist working with both individuals and couples. Topics covered on this episode range from attachment styles to childhood trauma, therapeutic techniques to reestablishing intimacy, and much more. Please send questions for Lara’s next episode to [email protected]. Check out all the tools Lara shares on her website. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.