The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle

t’s common in our culture for people to sleep together almost as soon as they meet. And people act like that’s fun and easy, and only foolish people can’t handle it, or think it should be avoided, in favor of something better. So for people who grew up neglected and abused, there’s a contradiction – their attachment wound is crying for someone to love them and STAY and not leave, but the culture of casual sex tells them this is too much to expect. This doesn’t heal until you face it for real, so real love can grow. My letter today is from a woman a woman who has felt pressured to abandon herself and what she wants, so that she can have any tiny bit of affection she can. How To Prepare For a Great Relationship: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/43SH8aV Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Trauma in childhood can leave with obvious problems, but also a subtle tendency to hide your authentic self, and to avoid reaching for big goals that are important to you. In this video I share common reasons why people who were abused in childhood will cope try to manage their vulnerability by playing small. I'll teach you strategies to gradually step forward and big "bigger," braver and more true to who you are and what you want in life. Ten Signs Your Trauma Is Healing: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3raZghI Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Limerence is the name for an obsessive infatuation that becomes more like an addiction to someone who cannot or will not be with you. It's especially common in people who were emotionally neglected as children, who will often go to any lengths to avoid losing HOPE that their love may someday be returned. They will pretend to be a friend, and lie about their true feelings, knowing on some level that disclosing the truth would instantly end the other person's willingness to spend time together. In this 4-video compilation, I share some of my most popular videos about the cost of pretending you DON'T love someone, and what to do to restore hope in your life of finding an available person with whom you can build a fulfilling, reciprocal love. The Signs of Limerence: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3PbqblT DRAFT DESCRIPTION Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

No matter how much you pull yourself together after a childhood full of abuse and neglect, the injury of trauma will TRY to suck you back into horrible dynamics of your childhood without you even realizing it. Your trauma-driven thinking will like to you that a clearly bad situation will be different "next time." In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who is thinking about reconciling with an abusive husband, for all the wrong reasons. Do you have CPTSD? Take the QUIZ: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3X9MZ7J Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

There are two terrible ways that self-centered parents can wound you in the way you have relationships – and in particular, when they didn’t take an interest or support the unique little person that you were, and they didn’t help you learn to detect and say NO to mistreatment. And if this happened to you, you may find yourself struggling to have friends, and when you do get a friend, you’ll tolerate terrible treatment from them – and end up believing it’s your job is to hide that it hurts you. In fact, this disconnect can prevent you from seeing that this is a bad person and you need to get away, but your TRAUMA will tell you the problem is you. My letter today is from a woman I’ll call Ranette, and she writes: How to Be a Better Friend: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3WS0475 Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

If you've tried to get help for problems related to Childhood PTSD, you've probably tried many approaches to healing, and chances are, none of them really worked. In this video I teach about common approaches to healing childhood trauma, and the big reason why only some of them are effective. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Growing up poor, abused or neglected can leave you struggling in adulthood to develop a good career and earn what you are worth. In this 4-video compilation I share four of my most popular videos about trauma, work and income, and how people with Childhood PTSD can heal and grow their career lives and achieve financial security. Do you have CPTSD? Take the QUIZ: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3X9MZ7J Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

The irony about a codependent person is that, while they’re focusing excessively on someone else, they’re actually absorbed in themselves. And one sign that someone is codependent toward you CAN BE that you feel VERY irritated and invaded by a loved one’s excessive focus on you. They hover, they get in your business; it feels impossible to have boundaries around them. They say it’s just because they love you but Something feels OFF. Sometimes codependency is an urge to fix you – but sometimes it’s not about you at all. It’s about THEM. And that’s the dirty secret of codependency – it can actually be one face of self-centeredness. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who is learning this the hard way. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Not all childhood trauma comes in the form of neglect or physical abuse. One of the most insidious forms of trauma is when parents brainwash children to override their own common sense – to ignore what their eyes and ears tell them, to live in fear, and to live under the constant threat of ostracization for breaking an impossible set of rules. In this video I respond to a woman who has mostly extricated herself from an abusive religious cult, but is still mentally trapped by in a belief she must stay with her abuser. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Fear is an inner obstacle that stands between you and all you hope to do, or have or become. I’m talking about “fear” in the broadest sense – an anxiety, or an inhibition inside that stops you from freely living and authentically: Instead, you doubt yourself. You feel mortified every time you say what you really think. You stay small. Yet there is so much nonsense out there about what fear is -- but very little that teaches you how. In this video I'll teach you exactly how to get free of unnecessary fear. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Having a few good friends is a great blessing in life. But if you grew up with trauma, you may have had trouble finding and keeping friendships with people you love and respect. This is partly because of abuse and neglect can harm your sense of feeling connected -- and partly because people with CPTSD can't always see the red flags that uncaring "friends" are mistreating them. In this 4-video compilation I share some of my most popular videos about upgrading your friendships. How to Be a Better Friend: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3WS0475 Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

A big reason why people who were neglected as children struggle to form stable, lasting relationships is because of insecure attachment. You might RUSH in and get enmeshed with someone you just met – and then freak out when it becomes clear that just because you’re sleeping together, the commitment and predictability of a real relationship isn’t there – or isn’t there YET. If you’re not clear what you want – not just in your mind but in your words and actions – you are unlikely to get what you want. And the shame of it is, you may be pushing away perfectly good people, who like you, but are put off by the odd behaviors that come out of you when you’re trying to hide how confused and freaked out you are. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who feels crushed that someone she's just begun dating isn't "there" for her. Heal trauma-driven patterns and find real love at last: http://bit.ly/3IBbrv7 Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Sometimes neglectful parents make it necessary for kids to figure out EVERYTHING on their own. How to get by, how to get their needs met, how to stay safe. If you grew up like this, I’m going to guess it’s been hard for you to recognize who, among the people you know, really has your best interest at heart. And this shows up in your life relationships where someone mistreats you, but you stay – maybe you even keep saying how grateful you are to have anyone at all to be there for you. And this wound of neglect can also show up as a strange inversion – where in the PAST you took care of everything for yourself. But once you bond with a partner, no matter how aloof or unavailable they are, you keep wanting to take care of everything for THEM. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who gives her ALL to a partner who gives nothing back. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

One thing that can be really hard for traumatized people is the pressure they feel when they make decisions. It's easy to make terrible mistakes when your trauma has control of your thinking. The decisions you make in your life will play a huge role in how your life turns out, who you’ll become, how happy you’ll be. But all this can be jeopardized because PTSD from childhood can drive you, unconsciously, toward BAD decisions – it can influence who you’ll marry, who you’ll break up with, where you’ll work, where you’ll quit, who your friends are, the way you express yourself when you’re angry, what you think is possible for you in your life. In this video I teach ways abuse and neglect in childhood can limit your life through trauma-driven decisions -- and how you can heal. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Some people treat shame as a problem. And sometimes the belief that you've done something wrong is imagined, and needs to be released. It's easier though, when you address what I call "earned shame" -- things you did or failed to do that cause you ongoing regret, that you'd like to change and make better. In this 4-video compilation I share some of my best videos on the topic of Shame, and how people with CPTSD, who lived through childhood trauma can heal mistakes and release heavy feelings of guilt. Eleven Strategies to Feel Happier Today: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Z5ynbf Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

When you’re into someone but you hide how you really feel, because you know they’re not really available, and you pretend you’re just friends. Don’t be surprised when the reality of the situation smacks you down. People who were traumatized as kids are particularly vulnerable to this “just friends” behavior. And unhealthy people can detect that in us – the way we see what they just did and -- and how we pretend it didn't affect us. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who is getting strung along by a "friend" with JUST enough hope to keep her from leaving. 10 Things Romantic Manipulators Say: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3ZcUnkm Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

For people didn’t dare express themselves or cry or have needs when they were kids – it’s a hard road growing up and learning to BE in a relationship for real. You were trained that your true feelings were unspeakable, so you keep quiet. Wanting more love or attention feels shameful and so you pretend you need nothing. The cost of this is that people with too little to give you get to be in your life at all. And the ones you really love, you risk losing. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who may be jeapardizing her relationship by creating the impression she doesn't care. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I  

There’s no common understanding of how adults are supposed to heal trauma from childhood – how that happens, where it comes from, what exactly you should do when you want to overcome all the problems that go with CPTSD. And so if YOU are trying to heal from abuse and neglect in childhood – and all the way that’s played out in your life and is still holding you back, it’s not surprising if you feel lost, hopeless, and not helped by what you’ve tried. Don’t be hopeless. There’s hope! Healing really is possible. Ten Signs Your Trauma Is Healing: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3raZghI Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

So much information about CPTSD focuses on the past and what other people have done. If you're feeling stuck, try focusing on changes YOU can make in your life today to reduce symptoms and feel calmer, more focused, and more in charge of your life. In this 4-video compilation, I share videos about changes you can make to move your trauma healing forward faster. Heal Trauma in Just One Year?: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3JrPdvx Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

When someone is romantically obsessed with you, they usually will try to hide it. But make no mistake, you can feel it and if you’re not into them, it does not feel good. Limerence is the word for when a person infatuated so badly with someone who isn’t interested in them, that it becomes like an addiction – very destructive for the limerent person’s life. But it’s also harmful to the person who is the “limerent object” – that’s the word for a person someone else is limerent ON. My letter today is from a woman I’ll call Romy, and she writes: Get Ready for Great Relationship: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/43SH8aV Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

A history of trauma can leave you defenseless against terrible mistakes. When you feel confused and you find yourself hiding the truth of your life from the people who care about you, you may be in a dangerous state of denial. Denial is a destructive force, and when you’re in it, you can’t see it. Everything depends on reaching out for help. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who is psychologically trapped in an exploitative "marriage." Hear my advice for how to wake up and get support to prevent more damage to her life. Watch Out For These Dating Red Flags DOWNLOAD WORKSHEET: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3T7surQ Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Nobody likes people who are controlling. Sometimes we all have to put up with controlling people because we have no one else to support us, or we need money, or, most often, because trauma trained us to tolerate control. But when you grew up with trauma, there can also be a tendency to BE controlling – maybe because you grew feeling things were so out of control it’s now like a reflex to hold people down, to make them predictable and “safe.” That’s not good either. In this video I teach about CPTSD and controlling behaviors that can hurt relationships. Do You Struggle to Connect with People?: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3LcjDD8 Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Trauma in childhood is caused by more than "abuse." Being neglected -- by parents or by your peers and community - can be just as damaging to well-being. In this 4-video compilation I share some of my most popular videos about neglect and the types of triggers that often result, potentially causing you to feel separate, anxious and isolated throughout your life. Healing is possible! In this video I teach you how to recognize triggers and begin healing them. Do You Struggle to Connect with People?: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3LcjDD8 Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

LIMERENCE HAS BEEN DESCRIBED AS "an involuntary potentially inspiring state of adoration and attachment to a limerent object (LO) involving intrusive and obsessive thoughts, feelings and behaviors -- from euphoria to despair, contingent on perceived emotional reciprocation". While not inherently sexual, limerence is almost always romantic in nature. However, it’s very possible to have adoration to the point of intrusive thoughts show up in an attachment to parental figures, or authorities, or friends. In this letter I respond to a woman experiencing limerence for a mother figure. The Signs of Limerence: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3PbqblT Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

If you’ve ever tried to get help for struggles in your life related to childhood trauma – you may have been told, pressured even, to spend time and money talking about the past – even if you’ve talked about the past or years -- even when you don’t feel that’s the problem right now. and even if you’re desperate to work on present problems, so you can be happier. There's a time to talk about what happened and a time to work on present day problems. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who feels ready to stop talking and get to work on changing her life. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Be careful what you *believe* about Complex PTSD, because a lot of information out there is outdated and outright WRONG. When you read or seek professional help, I urge you to be very THOUGHTFUL about what information you let in. It's so important that you know the truth about what causes it, what it feels like, and what you can do to heal (it's better news than you might think!). In this video I talk you through the most common mistakes people make in their healing, and why it's so important to find GOOD information that DOES help you. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Some signs of trauma in your childhood are well known and easy to recognize in yourself. But some may be new to you. You may have gone through live feeling shame about your social awkwardness, or your behavior around romance, or your difficulties keeping focused on your own life and not getting sucked into the others' problems. In this 4-video compilation, I share some of my most popular videos on unusual symptoms of Complex PTSD. Do you have CPTSD? Take the QUIZ: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3X9MZ7J Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

The way people date in our culture is like throwing spaghetti at a wall. It’s driven by attraction, it goes very fast toward sex, and then (especially if you have CPTSD or attachment wounds because of neglect in your childhood) you’re left totally dependent on the person to come through with the Steadfast love and commitment you expected to find you. But it’s actually very rare that real love finds you this way. What trauma may have taken from you is the clarity and discernment to KNOW what kind of a relationship you want, and then to use dating – not spaghetti – to help you find it. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who has rushed in to relationships and wonders why it doesn't turn to love. Do You Struggle to Connect with People?: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3LcjDD8 Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

A lot of people with Childhood PTSD were fed a steady diet of denial: Bad things things were happening and even if the parents weren’t DOING the bad things, they were incapable of noticing that something was terribly wrong. This may have injured your ability to see things as they are. To read the room. To understand where people are coming from when they say one thing, but do another. And Denial may have trained you to express your wishes, and then to become surprised and angry and CONFUSED when other people don’t deliver. In this video I respond to a woman who is confusing *stating* her boundaries, with enforcing her boundaries. Is Past Trauma Affecting Your Dating Life? Take the QUIZ: https://bit.ly/3EUy8Yh Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

If you were neglected or abused when you were a kid, and you’ve struggled all your life to feel like you’re truly included in groups, this is a classic trauma symptom. Feeling like you don’t belong could happen to anyone, but it’s especially common in people who didn’t receive adequate time and love and connection from their parents. In this video I talk about the way this sense of disconnection begins, how it manifests in adult life, and what you can do to begin healing it. Do You Struggle to Connect with People?: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3LcjDD8 Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

When parents don't validate or support their children to confidently express themselves and solve life's problems, the wound to self-esteem can last a lifetime. Healing CPTSD involves recognizing and changing the feeling that you're no good, you don't belong, and you need to play small to avoid pain. In this four-video compilation I teach how early trauma can wound your confidence, and what you can do to heal and try again to find joy and accomplish goals for success in your life. Eleven Strategies to Feel Happier Today: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Z5ynbf Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Here’s the hard truth about the wounds of CPTSD and trauma: Some of the things you didn’t GET as a child, can’t be fixed directly. We can’t go back in time. We can’t be children again to receive the proper love and care we needed then. And we can’t save people we lost. But we CAN learn to fill our lives with love and support NOW, and start working on the triggers, and the distorted thinking, and the self-defeating behaviors that are the natural byproduct of trauma in your childhood. When you do, it changes your thinking, your relationships, and your capacity to recognize red-flag people (vs people who can truly love you back). In this video I respond to a letter from a man who is attached to a woman who keeps him at arm's length, but won't let him go. Heal trauma-driven patterns and find real love at last: FREE Pdf Download: http://bit.ly/3IBbrv7 Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

For people who were neglected as children, there’s this very damaging tendency to fall in love, but with the wrong people – those who are married, or so far away the whole relationship is online, or those who are not INTO you. If you’re very, very early in the healing process, it will seem like unavailable people just seem to HAPPEN to you. The truth is both wonderful and hard to hear. People with CPTSD often attach to those people because that’s what you’re attracted to. Our attractions are shaped when we’re tiny children, we can’t help it. But just because you’re attracted to a person who is trouble for you doesn’t mean you have to ATTACH to them. My letter today is from a woman I’ll call AVERY, and she writes. How To Prepare For a Great Relationship: FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/43SH8aV Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Intense emotional reactions are common in people who were abused or neglected in childhood. They are set off by triggers (stimuli that cause neurological dysregulation), which then prompt emotional reactions, which then can lead to self-defeating behaviors. The behaviors are where you may be keeping your life stuck, and keeping yourself retraumatized. How can you stop? Focus on the reaction. Most emotional reactions fall into three categories In this video I teach how the sequence happens -- from trigger, to reaction, to behavior, and how you can identify YOUR reaction pattern so you can better target your healing efforts. Learn Quick Measures to Get Re-Regulated: FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3YBrIVg Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Growing up without adequate time and care from parents is a form of trauma. In adulthood, it can leave you prone to choosing partners who ALSO starve you for love and attention. Whether you're fallen for someone who can't love you properly, or who is completely unavailable, your attachment to people who can't love you back will keep you stuck in grief, longing and isolation. In this 4-video compilation, I share four of my most popular responses to viewers' letters, coaching them to heal the attachment wound that keeps retraumatizing them. Watch Out For These Dating Red Flags DOWNLOAD WORKSHEET: FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3T7surQ Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

It’s normal and common for people who were neglected or abandoned in childhood to fall deeply in love with people who make them feel abandoned and unwanted ALL over again. That’s what limerence is – an obsession or infatuation with someone you can’t have – that becomes a full on addiction. And like all addictions, it can destroy everything meaningful in your life. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman how has let limerence run her life, and needs a way to change. The Signs of Limerence: FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3PbqblT Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

The “Savior Complex” is a horrible obsession, where instead of getting to know someone and seeing if there is harmony and potential for you as friends or as partners – you immediately imagine a version of them that is DIFFERENT than what they are. And then you set about trying to make them INTO that imaginary person you have in mind. You might call this "helping" them, or "healing" them (for people with CPTSD, this is almost always the expression of a trauma wound), but really what’s going on is manipulation and control. It’s not really about helping them with something they require – it’s about helping you to relieve an anxious emptiness inside, and in the end it will take a toll on both of you. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who has a compulsion to "heal" people who are not available for a relationship. Is Past Trauma Affecting Your Dating Life? Take the QUIZ: FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3EUy8Yh Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

The trauma symptom that’s easy to recognize in other people, but SO hard to recognize in ourselves, is damaged perception. Childhood PTSD can make you unable to discern what is true and not true. You can't tell what is your responsibility and what is not your fault, when you’re in danger and when you're just anxious. You end up always doubting yourself -- trusting the wrong people, and failing to see red flags. In this video I teach you the signs that your perception is damaged, and walk you through a step-by-step process to get it back. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF    

Limerence is the term for obsessive love for someone you cannot have; it's more than a crush and more than being in love. As it gets stronger, it takes on the characteristics of an addiction. Some say the propensity toward limerence is genetic. Among the hundreds of letters I receive from people suffering with romantic obsession, most had an alcoholic parent, or parents who otherwise could not provide the loving care and attention that a person needs to form healthy attachments. In this 4-video compilation, I share some of my most popular videos featuring letters from viewers. The Signs of Limerence: Download Free Pdf: https://bit.ly/3PbqblT Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

Many of us who were abused or neglected as kids are forced to keep our lives small, neglecting the best part of all we can become. Going for big goals takes vulnerability, persistence and the ability to connect with people with calm emotions. If you have CPTSD, any one of these can feel impossible. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who can only be successful if she's willing to promote herself and be SEEN. Hear my advice to break through the wounds of trauma so she can shine! Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

Part of healing from trauma is getting to the point where you can HONESTLY take responsibility for your behaviors (and trauma can activate some harsh behavior!). But just because bad things happened to you in the past, doesn’t mean it’s OK to lash out, or cop out, or try to control other people. Blaming other people, or “parts” of yourself is only going to push the people you’ve further away. If you want good relationships with other people, you’re going to have to do the hard work of honestly facing yourself – not just the way you were hurt, but the way you hurt others –and taking steps to change.In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who wants a better relationship with her daughter, who keeps blocking contact with her. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

We talk a lot about "red flags" that tell you someone is NOT a good person to date. But what are the signs that someone has the right characteristics to become a good partner? In this video I list the signs to look for in the first few dates. If you have a history of relationships with partners who are emotionally unavailable, inappropriate matches for you, or abuse, you'll want to know these "green light" signals that a person is worth getting to know better. How to Tell if Someone is Partner Material?: FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3YBwKkj Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

Trauma from childhood is associated with brain and emotional dysregulation that can cause a host of other CPTSD symptoms in adults. In this 4-Video compilation, I share my most popular videos on Dysregulation -- what it feels like, what causes it and how learning to re-regulate it can help you feel calmer and more focused, and increase your success in healing. Learn Quick Measures to Get Re-Regulated: Download Free Pdf: https://bit.ly/3YBrIVg Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

All over the world, people who were abused or neglected in childhood are procrastinating, and thinking they are the only one. Freezing up, getting stuck, and struggling to get work done is common for people with CPTSD. And as long as you look at it as just laziness or a character flaw, you might be making the procrastination worse. trauma and the "freeze response" just might set you free. In this video I respond to a letter from a man whose business is at risk of failure because of his trauma-related symptoms. Dysregulation Bootcamp: FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3LlV7iW Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

Avoidance is a style of relating to other people, often driven by past trauma, that can make you feel overwhelmed and anxious even thinking about connecting with other people. If you’ve ever dating an avoidant person, you know how painful it can be to feel like you can never pin them down for plans, or get a commitment from them. And just when relationships start to feel like they’re going somewhere, the avoidant person will disappear for days or weeks at a time. Avoidants pull away from closeness, even when they want it. And ironically, what avoidant people are sometimes drawn to, is people they can’t have. There’s a weird kind of safety for avoidants in a relationship that can’t go anywhere. My letter today is from a woman I’ll call Amelie. And she writes: How to Tell if Someone is Partner Material?: FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3YBwKkj Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

Growing up in a chaotic and dysfunctional family can leave you with a wounded ability to connect. And if you have this, you may have the tendency to cling to relationships, or you might respond to things that trigger your connection wound by running away. This is avoidance. And If you've ever fled from a partner, or a friend or family member who cared about you, you know how painful this is -- how intense the need is in the moment, and how terrible it feels later. Learn the signs that trauma-driven avoidance may be blocking your ability to have relationships and enjoy your life -- and what you can do to start healing. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

Neglect and abandonment in childhood can leave you with "crossed wires" -- when someone you love mistreats you, you may feel the uncontrollable urge to make them happy -- to make them love you, even if it means abandoning yourself. In this "best of" compilation, I share four of my most popular videos on the subject of CLINGING in relationships. Do you have CPTSD? Take the QUIZ: Free Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3X9MZ7J Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

If you grew up fearing that you were in danger from your own family, you may have developed a strong sense that YOU were responsible to make everyone safe and happy. You’ll see children do this sometimes – completely abandon their own needs because they’re so worried that their mom or dad will not be OK. Your parent not being OK is an existential threat to a kid. It’s hard to imagine you can survive it. But if something doesn’t happen to help you take BACK your identity, you run the risk of giving away your whole life to this imagined need you THINK other people have. My letter today is from a woman who struggles with the belief that if she takes charge of her life, other people will not only hate her, but they'll be destroyed. Ten Signs Your Trauma Is Healing: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3raZghI Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

The idea that finding the right person will solve all your problems dies hard in the minds of traumatized people. If you were abused or neglected as a child, it can be difficult in adulthood to resist the lure of a relationship – any relationship – as a solution to the feeling that you’re unlovable, alone and lost about what kind of a life you want. This vagueness is like a barn door that’s left open. And what gets IN is other people's agenda. How can you get your life back, and know what you want? In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who needs to get her life back, and get clear on what she wants. Is Past Trauma Affecting Your Dating Life? Take the QUIZ: FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3EUy8Yh Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

12-Step fellowships can be powerful places of healing and connection. But not everyone who goes, gets something out of it. How can YOU get the most of your meetings? Here are 30 lessons I learned from 25 years in the program I attended (for families of alcoholics). Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]