The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle

When traumatized people date, it’s easy to detach from reality, and create elaborate constructs that explain why other people do what they do, and why we feel hurt by it – without having to actually admit what's really happening. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who is feeling confused (a tell-tale sign you've been "soft-ghosted" when the person she's dating is treating her badly. How to Tell if Someone is Partner Material?: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3YBwKkj 🔴Take $70 OFF My Dating & Relationships Course. Sale Ends Sept 1: https://bit.ly/3jVL8FV 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Even if you're good at acting confident, you may be giving off signs that you feel "less than" other people. Low self-esteem can have the effect of pushing good people away from you, and this in turn makes it harder to grow in confidence. In this video from my archive, I teach about what I call "the underdog effect" -- the unspoken signals you may be giving off, that you don’t feel good about yourself, and what you can do to free yourself from trauma energy and relate to other people freely, as yourself. Eleven Strategies to Feel Happier Today: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Z5ynbf 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

People neglected as children sometimes spend their WHOLE life longing for love – chasing it, fighting for it, and never having it, all because of an attraction to unavailable people. This includes people who are married and can’t really be with you (but string you along), or people who flat out aren’t into you. Yet your wounds from childhood make you the perfect person to give all your energy, love and self-esteem to them -- basically for free. In this video I share four of my most popular videos where I answer letters from my YouTube audience about the pain of loving unavailable people. Hear my teaching about how to heal from the past, and change your pattern so your life can become open to full and real love that lasts. Is Past Trauma Affecting Your Dating Life? Take the QUIZ: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3EUy8Yh 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

It’s a terrible form of abuse when whole families gang up on one person. Sometimes it’s scapegoating, where they blame you for problems you never caused. Sometimes it’s just plain bullying and cruelty, and of course it leaves terrible wounds, even when you KNOW the abuse was about them, not you, and even when you’ve worked hard to create a good life for yourself – you can end up feeling disconnected from people. And if that’s you, I want you to let in that a) other people’s abuse doesn’t define you and b) healing is possible. My letter today is from a woman I’ll call Amelia, and she writes.. Do You Struggle to Connect with People?: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3LcjDD8 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Some people get consumed by narcissistic loved ones they’re trying to stay connected with. Other people get off the treadmill by going no contact. But a lot of people are in the middle, with a mix of concern, and a desire to help – with total exasperation, feeling drained and fed up with the narcissist’s endless demands for attention and free labor. There IS a way to keep an eye on relatives who – left to their own devices – would consume ALL your time and energy. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who needs a way to help but also protect herself. Hear my advice -- a strategy for children of narcissists. Difficult People in Your Life? Try These NINJA BOUNDARIES: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3YCnpZJ 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

I have a secret portal that allows me to see and understand what childhood trauma does to people -- the different patterns it follows, and which kinds of people end up making rapid progress, and which ones stay stuck. I get this insight from letters and YouTube comments -- thousands of them. And there are basically two kinds of comments: One is the kind that comes from people who are very stuck in their early trauma. The second kind comes from people who are actively recovering; by studying how they approach it, you can learn strategies that support your own CPTSD healing. Ten Signs Your Trauma Is Healing: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3raZghI 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

If you grew up hurt by your parents -- neglected, not heard, not seen – chances are good that you get emotionally dysregulated. This means your nervous system reacts to stressors with EXTRA strong emotions. When most people would be hurt, you’re devastated. When you fall in love feels ENORMOUS. And getting angry (unfortunately for the people who love you) can turn into RAGE. In this 4-Video Compilation I share some of my most popular videos on emotional dysregulation -- what it does, how to notice when it's happening, and what you can do to heal it. Learn Quick Measures to Get Re-Regulated: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3YBrIVg 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

A lot of us who grew up with trauma have trouble shaking off the feeling that we’re somehow different than non-traumatized people. It seems sometimes like everyone else seems to know how to act, what to say, how to be connected -- but that we never got the memo. Do you ever feel like that? In this video I talk about the feeling among people who were abused and neglected as kids that we are "different" -- which part is imagined, and which part of it just might be real. Do You Struggle to Connect with People?: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3LcjDD8 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Everyone MUST be free to pursue the relationships and the way of life that makes them happy. Provided what they are doing is legal, we can’t condemn them. But even though some behaviors are legal, it doesn’t mean they aren’t destructive to others -- I’m talking about bullsh**ing vulnerable people into having intimate relationships that are NOT in their best interest, and that they don’t really want. If you grew up abused or emotionally neglected, you may be easy to gaslight in this way, where you need some contact with people so badly, you talk yourself into a role where you’re not respected. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who thought she set boundaries around her desire for monogamy, but now finds herself entangled with a polyamorous man with whom she was set up by a polyamorous mutual friend, and she's just found out THEY are having a relationship. Ten Signs Your Trauma Is Healing: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3raZghI 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

So many people are feeling blocked from connecting with other people. If you find yourself trying and trying, but nothing seems to lead to friendship or people even seem to be pulling away from you, there might be a problem with your *attunement* – your ability to sense another person’s openness, or to “read the room". In this video I'll tell you signs that your attunement to others may be isolating you, and ways you can fine-tune your ability to be present with others and form better relationships. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

It's popular to call out relatives and ex-partners as narcissists, but what about the self-centered behaviors and thinking that are common in people traumatized as children? In this 4-video compilation, I share four of my most popular videos about the way ordinary people may exhibit narcissistic behaviors. These traits can make life hard while they're untreated, but with healing, you can change! Ten Signs Your Trauma Is Healing: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3raZghI 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

One very bad sign that someone is losing themself in an unhappy relationship, is that they write to me about their partner and how wonderful they are, then tell me all about their partner’s traumatic past -- and then list all the ways their partner is mistreating them. It's as if they don't want me to see the facts. Trauma might be an explanation for someone cheating and stonewalling, but it’s not an excuse and justifying it because the abuser was traumatized could be a way you gaslight yourself. My letter today is from a man who is dating a woman whose trauma wounds are damaging the relationship, and he writes: Watch Out For These Dating Red Flags DOWNLOAD WORKSHEET: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3T7surQ 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Unpopular opinion, but so-called “adult entertainment” could not exist if there weren’t a steady supply of people who were abused as children, and skilled at shutting themselves down emotionally so that other people could use them for “pleasure.” It’s one of many ways that manipulative people – or those they have manipulated – like to normalize an obviously demoralizing and harmful way of treating people. This industry isn’t just driven by trauma, it’s a bonfire of new trauma, and it can do mortal damage to a person’s ability to have close and committed relationships. In this video I respond to a woman who thinks she must choose between her gritty job, and her controlling boyfriend. 16 CPTSD Behaviors That Sabotage Your Success: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3mmvYdA 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

There’s an almost universal symptom that people who grew up with trauma will tend to exhibit - and it’s a sense of isolation. Either you feel isolated even with people, or you literally isolate. Shutting people out feels like it's the right, best, most self caring thing you can do sometimes when you're under stress. But if you think that's a good thing, it's probably your trauma talking. Learn why people with Childhood PTSD find socializing so disabling, an what you can do to feel more ease and comfort in social situations. Do You Struggle to Connect with People?: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3LcjDD8 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

If you were emotionally neglected as a child, you may be extra-prone to direct your romantic energy toward people who are not with you. It’s the consequence of an injury to our neurological development, and it can have terrible consequences for you and the people who love you. In this 4-video compilation, I share some of my most popular videos about limerence, and how to heal the obsessive pull of "love" where there is no love. The Signs of Limerence: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3PbqblT 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Just because someone got a credential to practice therapy doesn’t necessarily mean they’re mentally stable, or able to prioritize the attention that you deserve, over whatever it is they’re feeling. If you had a parent who neglected you or exhibited narcissistic traits, you may have a blind spot for this behavior in others. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who finds herself in an enmeshed and toxic relationship with her therapist, and feels paralyzed and disoriented about what to do. Do you have CPTSD? Take the QUIZ: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3X9MZ7J Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

So many of us who grew up with trauma live as “divided selves” – longing for real love, but playing along to keep people around who DON’T want that – not with us, anyway – but who are happy to soak all our attention and time Iand of course, sex). Your ability to believe you can change how they feel by giving them all you've got – but never honestly finding out how THEY feel about you – is a classic ADULT manifestation of emotional neglect in childhood. And as long as those old wounds are driving you, you’re going to end up with same kind unreliable love that was what you had to settle for as a child. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who is trying to flip the script on a partner who isn't "ready." Watch Out For These Dating Red Flags DOWNLOAD WORKSHEET: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3T7surQ Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

When we talk about trauma symptoms, we talk a lot about strong feelings, acting out and emotional dysregulation. But there’s this other side of how trauma wounds and CPTSD can control your behavior, and it’s through *self-suppression*. In this video I teach the signs that your trauma is driving to suppress yourself. You may be surprised how much it applies to you! Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

When it comes to healing CPTSD, there's abundant advice and hundreds of treatments, but they rarely take into account that trauma wounds make it difficult to learn, process, remember, and categorize information. When your thinking is distorted, it's hard to tell what is your responsibility and what is not -- and to recognize choices available to you in each situation. In this video I share four of my most popular videos about ways childhood trauma can distort your thinking, and how you can re-empower yourself to see clearly and take smart actions to change your life. Heal Trauma in Just One Year?: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3JrPdvx Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

A huge number of people who lived through trauma have ended up with a LOT of physical clutter. And because clutter can hold you back, it’s a good thing when you release belongings that you’ve held onto that you DON’T need, that you can’t use, and that only bring you a sense of stress and obligation. But what about the old letters, gifts and cards that remind you that a) your family actually loved you and b) that they also totally mistreated you? In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who is weighing whether she WANTS these items in her house. Is she just being sentimental, or is keeping these items a way to remind herself that the bad things really happened? Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

If you’re like a lot of people who grew up with trauma, you feel most comfortable with friends who also had trauma – people who struggle at times with the same trauma-driven problems you’ve struggled with. These people can feel like HOME for us – until we start to heal from trauma, and their actual flaws become more visible to us. Should you try to stay friends when the other person’s actions are PUSHING you away? In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who is trying to decide if staying friends with someone whose actions make her cringe. How to Be a Better Friend: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3WS0475 Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

There is a massive, almost universal trigger for Childhood PTSD symptoms – and you probably have it (even people who were not traumatized sometimes have it). It is HURRYING. We all do it. But when you have Childhood PTSD, hurrying very easily turns into overwhelm, and can trip you up and sabotage the most important things in your life. In this video I teach you what you can do -- even though you're busy -- to prevent this trigger from kicking in and pushing you into dysregulation. Are You Dysregulated? Take the QUIZ: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3JwTn5r Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

People who were neglected as children often struggle to form stable, lasting relationships. One big reason is insecure attachment -- a wound of trauma (particularly neglect) that creates a chronic sense of anxiety that you're not wanted, or you are about to be abandoned. You might RUSH in and get enmeshed with someone you just met, or exhaust yourself trying to be good enough for people who are emotionally unavailable. In this 4-video compilation I share four of my most popular videos on childhood neglect and insecure attachment. Learn what this looks like, and why it's so important to begin healing so you can finally be loved at last. Heal trauma-driven patterns and find real love at last: http://bit.ly/3IBbrv7 Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

The reason I say codependency is so destructive to everyone it touches is that A) it drains the person who has abandoned themselves to become entirely focused on fixing another person, and B) the person being fixed is NOT fixed -- and doesn’t like it, and will usually leave. But that’s not what it FEELS like when you’ve been showing up in good faith with someone who is ambivalent toward you. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman whose heart is breaking, and she's finding out what the problem was all along. Signs You are in a Codependent Relationship: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3pwt5c6 Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

When people want a “just-sex” relationship, they can hardly resist the lure of traumatized people who will pour out pure gold from their heart and yet suffer in silence that their “friend with benefits” never returns their love. Neglect in childhood does that to people – makes you feel ashamed that you want and need something more than a fling – it scares you into thinking that you better just settle for whatever you can get. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who (sadly) is throwing away years of her life, longing and suffering and blocking any chance that real love can find her. How to Tell if Someone is Partner Material?: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3YBwKkj Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

It's painful for a child to be left out, ignored and never included. This counts as trauma, and leaves behind telltale signs in the form of triggers in adulthood. You may find yourself reacting strongly with anger, anxiety or self-abandonment when people overlook you or disappoint you now, in adulthood. Unfortunately, this aspect of CPTSD can destabilize relationships or push you to bond with partners too quickly. Hear my list of signs and triggers that indicate wounds from neglect and ostracization in childhood. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

If you were neglected or abandoned as a child, or your home life was full of chaos, you may still feel the effects through a pattern of triggers that push your nervous system into a dysregulated state. In this 4-video compilation, I share some of my most popular videos about CPTSD triggers that are common -- but most people haven't connected them with early trauma. Learn Quick Measures to Get Re-Regulated: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3YBrIVg Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Imagine finally finding someone who loves you as you are. And after so many painful attempts to find love, THIS person is right by your side and wants to be with you. So what is it in people who grew up with trauma, that the presence of someone THIS good, can shut you down, and make things feel "not real"? In this video I respond to a letter from a woman with CPTSD who finds herself feeling more numb and detached, the more she is loved. Do you have CPTSD? Take the QUIZ: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3X9MZ7J Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Even rats will get obsessed if you alternate kindness with abuse. So it isn’t any wonder that people who grew up with trauma would have a tendency to fall in love even HARDER when the people who say they love you suddenly kick you out the door. Non-traumatized people recognize this as abuse by an unstable and selfish person. In this video I respond to a letter from a man who is 100% determined to get his ex back, even if it requires him to delude himself. Eleven Strategies to Feel Happier Today: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Z5ynbf Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Children normally learn to handle themselves in the world from their parents. If you were ignored, you had to figure things out by yourself using a child's logic. In adulthood, you may find yourself going into a stress response when you try to communicate, especially when expressing emotions, or setting boundaries. This cold be a sign you weren't listened to. as a child. In this video I lay out several signs that are common in adults with CPTSD, and specifically, who weren't listened to when they were small. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

If you were born to sick people who neglect you, exclude you, and they couldn't give you proper care or protect you from harm, it was only natural for you to feel as a child that your family's shame was yours too. In this four-video compilation, I share four of my most popular videos about the harms that come from growing up in dysfunctional families -- whether you were shamed, left out, or otherwise disempowered, you can heal. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

When someone writes to me and says “I’m dating this guy,” I learned to understand that “DATING” for some people means “just having sex.” No friendship, no commitment, no talking about real things, no helping each other through tough times JUST. SEX. So it breaks my heart when someone with the ordinary understanding of dating gets walked all over by someone who uses the LANGUAGE of love to take what they want, and then ridicule their partner for having feelings at all. This is so bad for people who grew up with trauma, who are so vulnerable to blaming themselves and thinking they’re not good enough when an emotional shoplifter activates romantic love in them. In this video I respond to a man who is ready to raise his standards for who he dates, and what the purpose of dating is. 10 Things Romantic Manipulators Say: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3ZcUnkm Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

People who were neglected in childhood often turn out with a false identity that they were pressured into by parents who couldn’t see who they were AT ALL. This a pattern I’ve come to recognize in hundreds of letters I receive. There’s a developmental delay, almost, in forming a sense of self – of knowing your preferences, what make you make happy, what you long for. Some people just imprint on another person, a boyfriend or girlfriend. Other people flame out, burning themselves out by trying and trying. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman whose parents still don't "see" her and she's enraged -- which is holding her back. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Watching videos about trauma can take you down a rabbit hole of bad memories, scary diagnoses, and fears and doubts about whether life will better for you. Chances are, you’re ALREADY getting better, and in this video I teach you the signs that your healing may be well underway. Watch this and soak up validation and encouragement for all the hard work YOU do to transform your life after trauma. Ten Signs Your Trauma Is Healing: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3raZghI Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Nothing ruins new love like an agenda. If you grew up with trauma, you may end up romantically attached to people before you've gotten to know them, but there's a better way to date! In this four-video compilation, I share four of my most popular videos for people with CPTSD who want to change trauma-driven dating patterns and find real love at last. How To Prepare For a Great Relationship: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/43SH8aV Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

I get letters from people who claim to want to heal from limerence – which is an addiction-level romantic obsession with someone who doesn’t want to be with you. But sometimes, the letter itself feels toxic to me – like they want to tell me about their limerence and PRETEND they want help, when what they really want to is to tell anyone who will listen ALL ABOUT their obsession. Limerence has to be fed to keep it going, and so normally, I won’t feed it. People know I’m tough on this. So normally when I get the feeling that someone is in danger, or putting someone else in danger, I refer them immediately to professional help. Which is what I did with this letter writer. But for everyone who struggles with limerence, I believe you may find it helpful to HEAR what limerent thinking sounds like in someone else. In this video I respond to letter from a man who is experiencing the distorted thinking that is common with limerence. The Signs of Limerence: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3PbqblT Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

A Disorganized Attachment style is a trauma wound that can drive you to LONG for love and then push it away again and again, every time you feel irritated, or vulnerable, or disappointed. Childhood trauma is almost always the cause of this, and THAT wasn’t your fault. But when you need to manage your well being by constantly breaking up with someone, and then trying tto get them back, you are creating chaos and instability, and almost certainly give them trauma wounds in the process. The push and pull generates a trauma bond, where a previously happy and strong person gets so weakened by the emotional abuse that they can’t seem to stay away. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who wonders if two people swirling in this drama can ever change. 16 CPTSD Behaviors That Sabotage Your Success: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3mmvYdA Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Life will always have hardships, but everything you do to improve your life will run aground unless you know how to also lift your mood. It's not just happy talk. In this video I teach actions you can take right away to start feeling better, and to gradually change your life. Eleven Strategies to Feel Happier Today: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Z5ynbf Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

** Anger is a natural emotion. It exists to activate you in the face of danger, and as a response to unjust treatment. Anger is healthy... unless it gets stuck in a loop and can't be processed into either action, or memory. In this 4-video compilation, I share some of my most popular videos on the proper role of anger in our lives, and how unchecked anger can become an obstacle to healing CPTSD. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Everyone longs to live a purposeful life. You need intuition and persistence to discover what you're here to do, but childhood trauma can block this awareness, and keep you feeling trapped and unable to find your purpose. In this video I respond to a letter from someone who feels lost; hear my advice for steps to take to find and live your life's purpose. Ten Signs Your Trauma Is Healing: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3raZghI Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

There's an urban legend out there that if you think you might be a narcissist, you're not a narcissist. Many people display narcissistic behaviors at times, and are wise to be aware and work on that. But in this video, I share I letter from a man who believes he's a narcissist and almost sounds like he wants to stop hurting others. Is he trying to change, or does he find his own hurtful behaviors "interesting?" 10 Things Romantic Manipulators Say: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3ZcUnkm Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Abuse and neglect in childhood can set in motion lifelong trauma symptoms. The people who hurt you are 100% responsible for this harm, and it's good if you can acknowledge that it's not your fault. It's also true that in adulthood, many of us continue to retraumatize ourselves with what I call "self-defeating behaviors." These are the habits and tendencies that can suck you right back down into dysregulation and lead you into MORE trauma in your life. In this video I walk you through the most common self-defeating behaviors; are any of these still active in your life? 16 CPTSD Behaviors That Sabotage Your Success: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3mmvYdA Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Many people misunderstand what codependency actually is -- a compulsion to donate all your focus to another person's life, and then to try to control them and extract your happiness from the hope that THEY will change. In this compilation, I share four of my most popular videos about codependency and the ways people with trauma are particularly vulnerable to it. If you know the signs, you can stop codependent tendencies before they ruin your relationship and drain everything good from your life. Signs You are in a Codependent Relationship: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3pwt5c6 Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Here’s something I WISH I had known when I was younger, so YOU can avoid some of the mistakes I made that cost me years of happiness. Casual sex sounds like it’s ordinary and fun and not a problem, and evidently that’s true for a lot of people. But if you have attachment wounds (and this is especially for young women) the emotional bonding that sex is designed to produce in you, can happen in a matter of hours, chaining your emotions and your vision for your life to one person who you don’t even know. You can lose decades in your life sad, pining, hoping, trying to make things work with someone who was never compatible with you. In this video I respond to a letter from a young woman can’t help but give her beautiful, adoring energy to someone who is happy to take it from her. Eleven Strategies to Feel Happier Today: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Z5ynbf Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Healthy people run screaming from avoidant partners. But there’s something about neglect in childhood that primes you to fall harder for someone when they constantly pull you in and then push you away. At first see it, and it gives you pause. But if you stay with them, and you keep hoping that THIS time will be different, your thinking and perception will begin to distort, until you actually believe that THEY are the victim and YOU are causing them to emotionally hurt you. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who wonders how she can improve her relationship with an avoidant partner. Watch Out For These Dating Red Flags FREE WORKSHEET Download: https://bit.ly/3T7surQ Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

It's hard to explain, but just when you're accomplishing positive things in your life, obstacles and discouragement appear your path in the form of criticisms, attempts to stop your work, and self-sabotage from within. Author Gay Hendricks calls this "the upper limit problem." I call it "the nefarious force": Those of us with CPTSD seem especially susceptible to it, and it seems to be strongest right when you are beginning to shine. In this video I share what happened to me recently when I was working hard on a new project -- including how I overcame it, and what you can do to stay focused and strong while you continue to grow, heal from the past and accomplish great things. Heal Trauma in Just One Year?: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3JrPdvx Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

We now know there's an underlying trauma symptom that drives almost all the others: Neurological dysregulation. And until you learn to notice it and get re-regulated, it can hold you back and complicate every part of your life. In this four-video compilation I share four of my most popular videos on dysregulation. Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dRI8Sj Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Anyone with CPTSD can admit (if we're honest) that our symptoms can be VERY hard on those who love us. We lash out and become emotionally dysregulated, and we sometimes mistakenly believe that others are CAUSING us to to feel the massive waves of anger and and grief that come welling up from the wounds of the past. Healing work helps us gain clarity and wisdom, but if we're not there yet, we sometimes believe that others SHOULD be able to fix us. And the worst thing THEY can do is to try to take responsibility for that. It's a toxic cycle that blocks both people from happiness. In this video I respond to a comment left by a woman on my YouTube channel, who asks how she can better support her emotionally abusive partner. Here’s a resource for you that will help you understand CPTSD in yourself and others: Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dRI8Sj Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Your mind plays tricks on you when you fall in love with a long-distance loner who says flat out they don’t want a relationship. This absent character, present only as an electronic voice or a digital image but never as a real person at your side who loves you -- ican be the perfect blank canvas for lament fantasies. “If only we could be together…” that’s what the limerent thinks, never doing the math to understand that the person clearly, openly strongly tells you that will never happen. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who obsesses on an avoidant man, but who is actually avoiding their life? The Signs of Limerence: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3PbqblT Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

There’s a big mistake that people who were traumatized as kids make when they’re trying to heal, and unfortunately it can stop your progress. When you're working on healing, there’s a temptation to “identify” as a traumatized person, and focus heavily on what happened to you, how it's harmed you, and what the diagnoses might be of the people who hurt you. Having an explanation for your troubles is such a relief and can feel good... at first. In this video I share why I believe it’s a bad idea to allow trauma to be so central to your identity, or your life story. Eleven Strategies to Feel Happier Today: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Z5ynbf Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF