The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle

When your heart’s desire is to find a love that’s lasting and real, listen to that. This is what you are meant to have. And if you grew up with trauma, what might be blocking you from what you want is unhealed trauma, wobbly boundaries, and a big cluttered pile of half-relationships all over your life. You can’t be open to real love when your emotions are like a cluttered home. No one can get in the door. And even if they did, you might not recognize them. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who wants real love but first must emerge from the cluttered emotions left behind by her history of disappointing relationships and trauma from the past. Is Past Trauma Affecting Your Dating Life? Take the QUIZ: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3EUy8Yh 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

This is what it feels like to fall for an avoidant: First, there’s a STRONG feeling of connection, like the feeling you knew was possible, and you recognize it like you’ve found home at last. Then you attach quickly, while you can, because the signs that they can’t love you back begin to appear immediately. They don’t look like red flags to you, because that incredible moment when they are right in front of you, but not quite with you – feels like the most romantic feeling you’ve ever felt. Except you have felt it before. If it keeps happening, in one relationship after another, it means it’s not just bad luck, but a pattern. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who worries she's doomed forever to pine away for people who don't love her back. Watch Out For These Dating Red Flags DOWNLOAD WORKSHEET: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3T7surQ 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

It can be HARD to find the right person and form a deep and lasting romantic relationship -- especially if you've had trauma in your past, or you come from a dysfunctional family. If you want to attract real love, then it's time for YOU to get ready! In this video, I cover 20 signs that YOU are "partner material." This means you're happy, you're able to give love, and your life is not complicated and problems. Find out how many of these signs are already happening in you -- and which ones you may want to work on so that you are ready for the right person to find you. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Abuse and neglect in childhood can set in motion lifelong trauma symptoms. The people who hurt you are 100% responsible for this harm... it's NOT your fault. It's also true that in adulthood, many of us continue to retraumatize ourselves with what I call "self-defeating behaviors." These are the habits and tendencies that can suck you right back down into dysregulation and lead you into MORE trauma in your life. In this video, I walk you through the most common self-defeating behaviors. Check which ones are holding you back now. 16 CPTSD Behaviors That Sabotage Your Success: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3mmvYdA 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

If your attachment style is so anxious and insecure that when your partner pushes you away, and says “I don’t want to be with you anymore,” – YOU hold on tighter than ever – you are stuck in distorted thinking. If you’ve ever done this – and I have – you know on some level that you’re wrong. It’s your fear of abandonment driving you to beg and humiliate yourself. And then what do you do? Rationalize it, right? You tell yourself, "I’m not clinging to someone who doesn’t me --I’m trying to HELP them!" In this video, I respond to a letter from a man who THINKS he's being nice by trying to help a partner who isn't into him. How to Tell if Someone is Partner Material?: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3YBwKkj 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Your partner is not your child, so if you're doing everything for them (when they could do these things for themselves), you are overfunctioning. If you grew up with trauma, you may have been “programmed” to pick up all the slack, which might work for a little bit, but eventually it breeds resentment and breakdown of the relationship. Overfunctioning doesn't change by itself when the relationship ends though. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman with CPTSD who left her underfunctioning partner, and will do almost anything NOT to play that role when she dates someone new. How to Tell if Someone is Partner Material?: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3YBwKkj 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Having more than your share of conflict with other people is a common adult symptom of growing up with neglect and abuse. Fighting, arguing, and falling out with people can feel normal when your nervous system is always dysregulated. It can feel like the world is doing this to you. But if it keeps happening, the common factor may be you, and the good news is, you can heal this trauma-driven behavior. In this video I teach why people with CPTSD are so prone to conflict, and what you can do to "cool down" a conversation that's getting heated. I'll also show you how to repair the damage when relationships are damaged, with step by step instructions on the right way to make an apology. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Attachment wounds stem from your primary relationship with parents when you were a child, and affect who you fall in love with, and how you behave in relationships. In this 4-video compilation, I share four of my most popular videos in which I answer letters from people struggling with attachment styles -- disorganized, avoidant, and anxious -- and the triggers this generates in their relationships. Do you have CPTSD? Take the QUIZ: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3X9MZ7J 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

It’s so hard to know if you should stay in a safe relationship even though it’s dull, or break up with that person so you can try for something more romantic and wild? If you grew up with trauma, you may see these as the only two options. And chances are, until you heal, no new relationship will bring the fulfillment and love you hope for. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who is deciding if she should leave her avoidant long-term partner for someone equally unavailable. How To Prepare For a Great Relationship: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3raZghI 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

People with CPTSD often end up with a harsh "edge" to their personalities, especially when they feel vulnerable. It's no surprise that after a childhood of emotional neglect and deprivation, without protection from bullies or abusers, some of us would have "fighting energy," even when we're trying to flirt or go on dates. You can develop a distorted idea of the qualities people are looking for in a mate, and aggressively promote one aspect of your life, while using language and an emotional tone that pushes them away. My letter today is from a woman who considers herself to look "perfect on paper," but has never had a successful relationship. Hear her letter and my tough love advice for her. Ten Signs Your Trauma Is Healing: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3raZghI 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Unfortunately, it can be very easy to take advantage of people who were traumatized as kids, and make them think that some uncomfortable or painful or exploitative situation will lead to being loved. When you haven’t been loved properly, almost everyone becomes vulnerable to manipulation, because love and being included is something we all want so much. We need it! And one way that manipulative people can take what they want from vulnerable people is by giving you spiritual or ideological reasons why you should go against common sense, even when red flags are flashing, accepting bad treatment, and in many cases consent to continued exploitation. Is Past Trauma Affecting Your Dating Life? Take the QUIZ: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3EUy8Yh 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

One sign that childhood trauma is still affecting you is that you probably have at least one of these common triggers -- things that set off dysregulation in your nervous system, and make it hard for you to function at your best. These include hurrying, socializing, abandonment and feeling left out. Do you have these? In this 4-video compilation I share some of my most popular videos about these four major triggers. I'll teach you how to notice them, and what to do to calm triggers before they cause you to get dysregulated. Are You Dysregulated? Take the QUIZ: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3JwTn5r 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

It’s every traumatized kids’ dream, that one day, your parents will finally see how much their abusive behavior hurt you, and they’ll change, and say they’re sorry – even if you had to cut them out of your life for a long time – and do everything that’s needed to set things right. But really, what COULD set things right? And even if they really had changed, would you be able to handle picking up that relationship again without falling back down into a place you know TOO well, where you’re depressed and dysregulated and your life gets stuck? In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who is weighing whether to let her abusive parents back into her life.  Difficult People in Your Life? Try These NINJA BOUNDARIES: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3YCnpZJ 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

In life, there are people who are going to try to treat you badly. Your gut is going to tell you that what they’re doing is NOT OK, and your gut KNOWS you need to get out of there. But if you were abused or neglected as a kid? There’s something a lot stronger than what you know to be true, and that’s the fear of leaving someone you’ve formed an attachment with. It will make you doubt what you see and hear with your own eyes, and you’ll talk yourself into putting up with something that two hours ago you KNEW was a deal breaker. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who realizes she is hurting herself with self-deception. Watch Out For These Dating Red Flags DOWNLOAD WORKSHEET: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3T7surQ 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

The most powerful thing you can do to have meaningful connection with people is to make them feel like you hear them. People love this, and doing it is an art. But very few people get trained how to do this, especially those of us who grew up in dysfunctional families. In this video, I'll teach you how to overcome ten common conversation stoppers that push people away, and how to make people feel heard and appreciated instead. How to Be a Better Friend: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3WS0475 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Growing up abused and neglected has an almost universal effect of draining people of their innate POWER. You lose the sense that you have agency to make anything good happen. It takes will, resilience and luck to recover enough to remember who you are, to stay connected to your potential, and to know it's worth trying to become MORE than you are right now. In this 4-video compilation I teach about ways people with trauma from childhood become disempowered, and how to heal the patterns and free your life at last. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Being avoidant in relationships isn’t just the obvious stuff – they won’t commit, they blow hot and cold, they ghost you when you try to talk about commitment. You might not realize this, but if you have a PATTERN of falling for people like this, YOU are avoiding intimacy just as much, but in your own way. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who is navigating a relationship where two people who can't get close fall madly in love! Do You Struggle to Connect with People?: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3LcjDD8 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Nothing good can come from relationships built on lies. You can tell yourself that you lie because you don’t want to hurt the other person. You can tell yourself you lie because something bad happened to you when you were a kid. And you can put all kinds of psychological jargon on it. But if you keep doing it, it will wreck everything in your life, and seriously harm others around you. So the question is, how far are you willing to go to STOP the lies? My letter today is from a man I’ll call Artie, and he writes. 16 CPTSD Behaviors That Sabotage Your Success: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3mmvYdA 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

The core symptom of early trauma is neurological dysregulation, and it drives almost every other CPTSD symptom (or makes it worse). In this video, I explain what dysregulation is, what it feels like, and how you can support trauma healing powerfully by learning to re-regulate quickly, and stay regulated more of the time. Doing this can help you feel calmer and more focused, and increase your success in healing. Learn Quick Measures to Get Re-Regulated: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3YBrIVg 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Work and career are important to success and happiness. But trauma from your childhood can trigger behaviors that block your advancement and ruin opportunities. In this 4-video compilation, I teach how common trauma-driven behaviors can hurt your work life, and how you can stop the self-sabotage, manage your symptoms and thrive in your career. Do you have CPTSD? Take the QUIZ: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3X9MZ7J 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

People who were traumatized in the past can be easy targets for people seeking CONTROL. Has this happened to you? If your sense of self is not yet strong, it's easy to fall under the spell of someone who will TELL you who you are. They’ll what you should do and if you push back, they will punish you. This is narcissistic abuse. It’s emotional manipulation. And it's how people can be "brainwashed" to believe anything. In this video, I reply to a letter from a woman with a controlling boyfriend, who is desperate for advice. But can she hear it? 10 Things Romantic Manipulators Say: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3ZcUnkm 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

When someone is wounded by trauma in childhood, it can SEEM to them that other people should be able to make them feel better. They may believe that if only you cared enough, or validated their feelings enough, their loneliness and hurt would go away. This is a lot of pressure, and a projection that you can't actually fix for them. It's hard to be compassionate with someone who is hurting, and yet say NO to their demands that you keep listening, keep giving, and keep taking responsibility for their healing. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who is fed up with a sibling's venting and emotional hounding. Hear my advice for how to set boundaries with a sibling with CPTSD. Difficult People in Your Life? Try These NINJA BOUNDARIES: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3YCnpZJ 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Complex PTSD (CPTSD) is a cluster of symptoms that can result from chronic, intense, ongoing trauma, usually during childhood. The symptoms include poor mental focus and procrastination, emotional dysregulation, chronic health problems and a haunting sense of disconnection from other people. It can be a huge relief to discover these symptoms have a name. And once you know the signs, you can get to work on healing. In this video, I teach 12 signs that early trauma may be affecting you now. Share in the comments which ones you've noticed in yourself. Do you have CPTSD? Take the QUIZ: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3X9MZ7J 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Most people won't tolerate mistreatment from friends. But if you grew up with abusive or neglectful parents, you may have been conditioned to hang on for life to toxic friends, no matter what. In this four-video compilation of some of my most popular videos, I respond to letters from people whose connection wounds are keeping them trapped in toxic friendships. Instead of leaving, they are giving in to the trauma-driven tendency to blame themselves for their friend's bad behavior. Hear my advice about when to leave, and how to heal afterward. 16 CPTSD Behaviors That Sabotage Your Success: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3mmvYdA 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

If you were betrayed in childhood by the adults you trusted, your self-esteem and boundaries can be so wounded, that you become “betrayal blind.” You can SEE you’re getting SO much LESS than you need and deserve in a relationship, but because you can’t face ending things, you UNSEE it. This is self-deception, and we are motivated to disbelieve what we see because the need for love is SO strong, and facing the truth, means the crumbs of love you’re getting will be lost – and that feels impossible. So what can you do? in this video, I respond to a woman who is RIGHT on the verge of facing the truth about her boyfriend – but she’s tempted to believe she’s just being paranoid. Is she tripping? See what YOU think. Watch Out For These Dating Red Flags DOWNLOAD WORKSHEET: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3T7surQ 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

When you were a child you needed the attention of parents – not just for food and shelter, but for your emotions. You need them to recognize and see when you were struggling, and help you navigate relationships, stand up for yourself, and set boundaries. That's what parenting IS. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who was raised by dismissive parents, who invalidated her needs and prioritized their own activities and preferences. Now she is with a dismissive partner, and worse, she has grown to be dismissive of HERSELF. Hear her letter and my response. Difficult People in Your Life? Try These NINJA BOUNDARIES: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3YCnpZJ 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Being around people, especially if you grew up with trauma, can feel stressful, trigger-y, and dysregulating. People can be mean, they judge you and they make you feel left out, like you don’t belong. For many of us, this started when we were in our own families when we were small. Did this happen to you? The coping mechanism you might have used was Self-Suppression -- playing small and trying to protect yourself by not being really YOU. Learn 40 ways YOU might be doing this. These behaviors are incredibly common and they will hold you back. Get something to write on, because in this video I'm going to tell you how to get free. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

There’s an almost universal symptom that people who grew up with trauma will tend to exhibit - and it’s a sense of disconnection. And even though you crave social connection, trauma often comes with "people triggers" that make interactions stressful and dysregulating for you. When you're feeling triggered by people, shutting them out feels like it's the right, best, most self-caring thing you can do. But when you do it long term it can bring unhappiness to every area of your life. In this 4-video compilation, I teach why people with early find socializing so disabling, and what you can do to feel more ease and comfort in social situations. Do You Struggle to Connect with People?: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3LcjDD8 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

There is a huge connection between abuse and neglect – especially emotional neglect in childhood – and a painful pattern in adulthood of pouring all the love in your heart into the IDEA of someone you can’t have. The word for this is limerence. And as much as this is a painful and lonely maladaptation of our very human need for love – there’s something tender and beautiful about this too. I used to think limerence was something shameful and crazy, until I received this extraordinary letter from a woman a few years ago called Sofia, which I wanted to share with you in this video that was much beloved by my viewers at the time. Tell me in the comments what YOU think. Ten Signs Your Trauma Is Healing: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3raZghI 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Not every obsessive relationship is a romance. Sometimes it’s a friendship that gets through the cracks of the neglect you grew up with in childhood, and it becomes HUGE In your mind. You think about them, you want them to approve of you, you want them to unconditionally love and support you in all circumstances, all the time – (which is a clue, by the way, this is an unmet need from your childhood that’s leaked out onto an unsuspecting friend. Things come to a head when reality hits, and either you’ll see how your attachment wounds have been running the show and course correct – or fall deeper into helplessness and obsession. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who is jeopardizing a friendship by expecting too much. 16 CPTSD Behaviors That Sabotage Your Success: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3mmvYdA 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

For those of us with childhood trauma, this is what can hurt relationships the most: We get overwhelmed and emotionally dysregulated, and with anger growing more and more intense, we explode. That’s lashing out. There’s another way to release the intensity, without abandoning your true feelings. In this video, I teach you what's going on when that happens, along with strategies you can use *in the moment* to maintain your calm and express yourself in a better way. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

One way you can get deeply hurt in a relationship is when you SEE the red flags in your partner's behavior, but instead of confronting them, you gaslight yourself: This means going into denial, justifying your partner's mistreatment of you, or distorting the truth of the situation. Why do we do this In this 4-video compilation I share four of my most popular videos from people I've called-out for the red flags in their relationships, and their self-gaslighting. Is Past Trauma Affecting Your Dating Life? Take the QUIZ: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3EUy8Yh 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

There are SOME people, some situations, that shut down your common sense. You can be going along doing pretty well, you’re seeing life clearly, you’re moving forward, your judgment is good. And then that ONE person comes along and it’s like they cast a spell on you. They make you crazy with weird signs that something’s not right. And instead of thinking clearly, your mind stops working, and you go into denial. Now I’m not a therapist, but I’m someone who’s recovered from getting into relationships with someone who was lying to me, and I help other people get clear and get OUT too. My letter today is from a woman I’ll call Evangeline, and she writes. Watch Out For These Dating Red Flags DOWNLOAD WORKSHEET: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3T7surQ 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

When you grew up neglected, abandoned, and with none of your needs met – you may be likely to fall in love with people who are unable to provide the solid, caring love that you need and crave. And at the same time, the wounds of neglect drive you to cling to them, even after it's clear they're unstable, emotionally unavailable, or not safe to be near you. This is the critical juncture where trauma in one generation, can HOP over into the next – when your own trauma BINDS you to people who make you FEEL like something is happening, but who will bring nothing but grief into your life. Now as you know, I’m not a therapist. I’m someone who healed from my own destructive relationship patterns, and here to help you when magical thinking has convinced you that the terrible pain you’re in because of someone you’ve dated is a SIGN that they are the one for you. My letter today is from a woman I’ll call Kristin. Watch Out For These Dating Red Flags DOWNLOAD WORKSHEET: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3T7surQ 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

A “People Pleaser” is someone who abandons their authentic response to other people during their interactions – who abandons their own choices of what to do, what to say, and what to BE, opting instead to try to guess what other people want. It's a leftover symptom of early trauma, but can block your healing. Do you know someone like this, or do you find yourself people-pleasing others? In this video, I unpack why people-pleasers end up broke, alone and resentful, and what you can do to break the cycle. Do You Struggle to Connect with People?: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3LcjDD8 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

To avoid responsibility for their own actions, abusive parents sometimes make one child into a scapegoat, and siblings follow suit. The person scapegoated suffers horribly, but getting pushed out of the family sometimes means they demonstrate more strength and success in life than those who we kept in the family fold. In this 4-video compilation, I respond to letters from people working to heal the wounds of this terrible form of emotional abuse. Do you have CPTSD? Take the QUIZ: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3X9MZ7J 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Participating in a recovery program is a powerful way to get support and change your life. In any group -- in person or online -- there's always some risk that someone will be inappropriate or cross boundaries, especially when everyone in the group is there *because* they struggle. It's not uncommon in meetings that one person takes a romantic interest in someone they meet there, and sometimes the feelings are not mutual. In this video, I respond to a letter who feels stalked by a fellow member who won't take “no thank you" for an answer, and now is hiding his identity and lurking in online meetings where she attends. Do You Struggle to Connect with People?: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3LcjDD8 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Some people are deeply confused about what’s appropriate to say and do around their kids. When parents are unboundaried like that, walking around undressed, raging, getting emotional, talking about exploits, it makes kids feel scared again and again, putting them at risk to develop Complex PTSD, and robbing them of a sense of safety in the world. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman whose "ick" triggers from her parents' behaviors are blocking her ability to love. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

If your life energy is strongly concentrated on another person and their dysfunctional behavior... and you believe you'd be happy if you could just make them change...and they haven't changed... and you fight about it -- *you* have a problem. Maybe they have a problem too, but *your* problem is that you’ve surrendered all your power to a person who is actually not acceptable to you. That is what codependency is. And If you don’t know the signs, I’ve got 20 of them to teach in this video. Signs You Are in a Codependent Relationship: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3pwt5c6 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Many people affected by early trauma work HARD to heal, but don't get results. If you're ready to move forward and you're prepared to make changes that make healing easier, you'll want to hear this 4-video compilation where I share my best trauma healing tips. Heal Trauma in Just One Year?: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3JrPdvx 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Limerence is an addiction-level romantic obsession with someone you can’t have. It can get so bad that you're checking out of reality, isolating and fantasizing that the person you love loves you back. It’s common in people who were emotionally neglected as kids, and it can rob you of any chance of truly loving someone and being loved in your life, because limerence takes up that space where anyone real, could really be with you. In this video, I respond to a follow-up letter from a man who wrote to me last year, immobilized with limerence. Now, his life is healing, and he shares how he did it. The first letter from Daniel, "How Shame Drives You to Obsess on Someone You Can't Have": https://youtu.be/9XjJFLThpRw Do You Struggle to Connect with People?: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3LcjDD8 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Hardly anyone understands this, but when you spend your life pursuing people who aren’t into you and won’t commit to you – guess who’s the avoidant? You are. Even though you’re devastated when they reject you and you pine away for them after it’s over, there’s something about the way you *know* it can never work out that sets you free to love without reservation. You can love deeply, but keep your options open, and never feel trapped. But you'll always feel grief, which may be wearing like a cozy blanket that keeps the cold wind of actual *choices* in your life away from you. *That* is avoidance. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who has done this for years, but now, the possibility of real love has appeared in her life. How To Prepare For a Great Relationship: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/43SH8aV 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

So many people are walking through life WANTING to solve problems of connection, and purpose and productivity and TRYING to do it. And they don’t even realize they’re doing this! But they’re holding their lives – and especially the PEOPLE in their lives – at arm's length. This is what I call “covert avoidance.” You LOOK like you’re engaged deeply with your life, but really? You’re distracted, you’re making plans and then canceling them, you’re setting goals and then wiping them from your mind, and you’re not being present for the people who are in your life – so everything stays shallow… Nothing goes anywhere. And you probably don’t even realize you’re doing it. In this video, I describe this common but hidden trauma symptom and teach you strategies to gently get free and connect once again with people and your life. Do You Struggle to Connect with People?: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3LcjDD8 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

If you want a loving, committed relationship, you may be undermining that by having no-love, no-commitment FWB relationships. You may have been conditioned to believe that filling your time with meaningless s*x was OK, until magically, the love of your life comes along -- that you could just ditch the empty relationship at that time, and happiness would follow. In this 4-video compilation, I share some of my most popular videos about the ways past trauma (and especially neglect in childhood) can leave you feeling ashamed and exhausted when it comes to needing love. Learn how to stop accepting crumbs and discover the powerful change that can take place immediately, making it possible for real love to find you at last. Is Past Trauma Affecting Your Dating Life? Take the QUIZ: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3EUy8Yh 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

It doesn’t matter what your avoidant partner tells you: If they are giving you the silent treatment – storming out, going AWOL for days or weeks at a time with no explanation, they are emotionally abusing you. And if you’re left feeling obsessed and frantic for little crumbs of communicaiton, I’m sending you a lifeline, to tell you – your trauma wounds have been activated, and from here on out, it’s going to be VERY hard to find any peace or happiness, unless the whole dynamic of your relationship changes. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who wants advice on how she can convince her partner. 10 Things Romantic Manipulators Say: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3ZcUnkm 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

A pathological narcissist makes you feel like the most special person in the world, and then the next day, will discard you for the tiniest of reasons – and then they blame you. If you grew up with parents who sometimes cared for you and sometimes forgot about you – or blamed you, you may be especially vulnerable to this dizzy cycle with partners who idealize you, become emotionally abusive, and then throw you away. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who wants help understanding what happened, and how she can stop repeating this trauma-driven behavior. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

People talk a lot about being "trauma bonded" but most don't know what it means. They mistakenly think it’s when two traumatized people form a bond because they have that shared experience of trauma. And that happens, but that’s not what it means to be “trauma bonded.” In fact, the truth is much worse. Is this happening to you? In this video, I explain how trauma bonds develop, what the signs are that it's happening, and how to break free. Is Past Trauma Affecting Your Dating Life? Take the QUIZ: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3EUy8Yh 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Here’s the hard truth about trauma: Some of the things you didn’t get as a child, can’t be fixed directly. We can’t go back in time. We can’t be children again to receive the proper love and care we needed then. And we can’t save people we lost. But those of us with CPTSD CAN learn to fill our lives with love and support NOW, and start working on the triggers, and the distorted thinking, and the self-defeating behaviors that are the natural byproduct of trauma in your childhood. When you do, it changes your thinking, your relationships, and your capacity to recognize red-flag people (vs people who can truly love you back). In this 4-video compilation, I share four of my most popular videos about abandonment -- how it can control your life, and what to do to heal. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

You’ve probably heard this: The most common phobia in the world is public speaking. An estimated 75% of people experience anxiety when they have to speak in front of people. When you add a history of trauma into the mix, well – if you watch this channel, you’ve probably experienced it yourself. Speaking in front of groups can be paralyzing. My letter today is from a woman whose fear of public speaking is a huge block to her career and her sense of confidence. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Getting closure after a breakup is a real thing. But too often, people in the grips of heartbreak use the word to justify attempts to reconnect, so they can get another chance to try again to be loved. But the reason they won't just say "I want another chance" is they want “plausible deniability" – they need cover for the fact that they are so obsessed they will tolerate rejection or worse, just to get that second chance. So how do you know when your desire for closure is genuine, and when you’re kidding yourself, so that you can get another shot at love? In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who struggles to accept that the man she loves has left her. Is Past Trauma Affecting Your Dating Life? Take the QUIZ: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3EUy8Yh 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF