The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle

When you’re into someone but you hide how you really feel, don’t be surprised when the reality of the situation smacks you down. People who were traumatized as kids are particularly vulnerable to this “just friends” behavior. And unhealthy people can detect that in us – the way we see what they just did and -- and how we pretend it didn't affect us. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who is getting strung along by a "friend" with JUST enough hope to keep her from leaving. 10 Things Romantic Manipulators Say: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3ZcUnkm 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

The stories you tell yourself are an expression of what YOU believe is important about you. And if you're wedding to saying life is never fair, everyone’s terrible, they take advantage of you, you never get a break – this is actually another sign that you might be playing SMALL. It’s something that those of us who had a rough childhood can sometimes get stuck in. And while trauma really happened, we don’t have to stay identified with it. In fact, as long as we keep telling the sad stories and making those the story of our lives, we run the risk of staying stuck in SMALL. Heal Trauma in Just One Year?: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3JrPdvx 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

The Daily Practice is a set of two techniques -- a specific form of writing, followed by a simple meditation, that I was shown 31 years ago when I was in extreme distress after a series of traumas, and was barely able to function. I teach the techniques in a free online course (you can register for it and learn it in less than an hour -- the link is below), and I lead regular free Zoom calls for people who have learned the techniques to try them with me and others, and then I take questions. This video is a recorded call so you can see what it's like. If you'd like to try, it take the free course so you know the techniques (there's a PDF in the course that summarizes it and you can use this to follow along during the call. Once you've registered, we'll e-mail you a schedule and an invitation (also published on my website under the Events tab) to join the calls. It's a lovely community and we hope you'll give it a try.   Take the Free Daily Practice Course Here: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Sign up for Free Daily Practice Calls Here https://courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com/events/  🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

People who were abused and neglected as children sometimes struggle to stay emotionally regulated. Part of healing is to learn to self-regulate; this is a skill that, in substance recovery programs, is called "Emotional Sobriety." Is it the same with trauma? In this 4-video compilation, I share four videos where I teach how the wounds of early trauma can leave you prone to lashing out or getting stuck in anger. How can you tell when you're emotionally "intoxicated", and how can people with CPTSD practice "emotional sobriety? Learn strategies to manage and regulate strong emotions and still express yourself fully. Do you have CPTSD? Take the QUIZ: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3X9MZ7J 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

In this video, I interview fellow YouTuber and Family Systems expert Jerry Wise. He has a deep background in counseling and marriage and family therapy. Now he's on YouTube teaching people how they can separate themselves from the "WiFi" of their families -- this is the pull, the ethos and the nervous system chatter of their family of origin. He teaches about the "family super self," and the "umbilical cord" that connects it to each member of a dysfunctional family. Learn from Jerry how you can separate and differentiate yourself, and become more fully yourself. Eleven Strategies to Feel Happier Today: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Z5ynbf 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF Jerry Wise: • Website: jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com • YouTube: @jerrywise • Instagram: @jerrytwise • Facebook: facebook.com/JerryTWise    

Just when you think things are going well for you, BAM! Someone criticizes you, you get rejected, or you don't get chosen for an opportunity that meant everything to you. A rush of anger, panic and shame rises up, and next thing you know, you feel like you CAN'T. DO. ANYTHING. You freeze, stuck in procrastination, struggling to stay focused or follow through on plans. This disabling reaction to emotional hurt is a known symptom of CPTSD and a common experience for those of us who grew up with abuse and neglect. And though you're not doing it on purpose, when you go into freeze mode, it can keep you stuck "playing small." In this video, I talk about the way cruel remarks and treatment can be so damaging to our productivity, and what we can do to both stand up for ourselves, and avoid falling into long periods of neurological dysregulation, procrastination and avoidance. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

People sometimes use the word “privilege” as an accusation that allows the accuser to feel better than the person they accuse, and even to shame and discredit them. Recently, Dr. Nicole Lepera (@TheHolisticPsychologist) posted an Instagram reel where she pointed out that the ultimate privilege is having a *support system,* and encouraged those of us who grew up neglected to stop comparing ourselves to those who were loved, guided, and helped through life. This is my fourth video in my PLAYING SMALL series, and in it, I talk about why Nicole's video made me cry, and why I now feel more strongly than ever that building a support system is a number one priority to STOP playing small, heal from the past, and build happy lives.  Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Recognizing your worth after neglect in childhood – where adults literally don’t care for you appropriately, can lead to a kind of emotional “leakiness” where -- even though you’ve created a good life and set goals as an adult, -- you feel disconnected from people when they are close to you. For people with CPTSD, that memory of NOT being cared for can creep into every situation – you feel it with people you date, with friends, you feel it at work or school, and if it’s not healed, it will cause you to get into and STAY in relationships where, in fact, you’re NOT cared for. In this 4-video compilation, I share four of my most popular videos about the effects of neglect in childhood on your adult relationships. Learn the signs that the wounds of neglect are affecting you now. Watch Out For These Dating Red Flags DOWNLOAD WORKSHEET: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3T7surQ 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

If women want to be equal, they should always pay their own share of the bill on dates with men -- or so my mother told me. This is the third video in my "Stop Playing Small" series. In it, I explain what happened during the years I was always quick to throw down money on dates -- what my real reasons were, how that turned out, and THEN what happened when I decided to let the man pay. Dating may be harder than ever these days, but old traditions (many of which were used to control or suppress people) can also function as much-needed structure, and as a filter, for detecting if the person a the table with you might be your future mate. Heal trauma-driven patterns and find real love at last: http://bit.ly/3IBbrv7 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

There are two competing ideas in our culture about how you should pursue happiness: One is that anything that happens to you, you have to MAKE it happen. And the opposing idea is that there’s something "unspiritual" about that level of certainty, and that what you REALLY should do is “go with the flow.” I’m here to tell you that if you’re doing either of those things, you just might be playing small, and I’ll tell you why we do that – as well as a better way to expand your life to a bigger, happier, more delightful experience than either of these approaches can bring you. This is the second video in my Playing Small Series. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

If you’ve been hurt by others SO many times that you can’t face conflicts, disappointments and sad moments, – that’s what I call playing small. And it stops you from being able to heal or change. Life involves friction. Facing it is how we grow. I played small for most of my life -- and maybe you have too. In this video -- part of a multi-part series -- I show you what I looked like when I played small (and what caused that), and what I look like now. Heal Trauma in Just One Year?: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3JrPdvx 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

A classic sign that a person grew up traumatized is that their life is full of hostile, cruel, and punishing people. If you were abused or neglected, you may freeze up when people are unkind, or lapse into "fawning," trying desperately to make the hostile person happy, as if that were your responsibility (or even possible) In this 4-video compilation, I share some of my most popular videos about mean people -- why they get into your life and what you can do change the rules and free yourself from mistreatment. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

The problem with romantic attachments, especially for those of us who were hurt and neglected as kids, is that our attachment wounds make us feel so.... attached! Ending a relationship can make it feel like you’re dying, even when you don’t like the person. Even when you don’t want to be with the person. Even when the person has been abusive to you – You’ll start having thoughts of going back to them. And many of us have gone back to these people, and wasted years of our lives, unhappy and stuck with someone we don’t want to be with just because our attachment wounds can’t bear the pain of leaving. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who can't bear the thought of leaving someone she doesn't want to be with. Is Past Trauma Affecting Your Dating Life? Take the QUIZ: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3EUy8Yh 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

When you get angry and people can hear it in your voice? They don’t like it! And you know what? That’s OK! Because in a healthy relationship, it’s OK for you to express your anger. In fact it’s necessary. But it’s all about how you express it – not cruelly, not constantly – of course that can hurt a relationship, especially when there’s kinda subterranean resentment and wounds underneath that maybe you can’t even acknowledge in the moment. But this OTHER factor is no matter how nicely you express yourself – and you MUST express yourself somehow or it’s not a relationship – are they emotionally mature enough to handle an argument and not have to rage at you or leave the relationship? In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who is about to find out. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: Free PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

With unhealed trauma wounds, it's easy to make terrible mistakes at critical moments. Times of stress (which is often when you have to make important decisions) can shut down critical thinking skills, and push you toward emotional thinking that can lead to bad outcomes. This is common for people with CPTSD. In this video, I talk about trauma-driven decisions, and how you can stop them before the damage is done! Do you have CPTSD? Take the QUIZ: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3X9MZ7J 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Romantic obsession with someone you can’t have is a sneaky, life-wrecking toxin – a "drug" that feels great at first. It seems like if you could just have that person, your life would go from empty... to amazing. It treats pain... until the drug wears off, and next thing you know the “solution” you’ve found has become the problem, wrecking everything good in your life. Can it ever be true that this one person you wanted but lost, is the missing element in your life that explains why you’ve been sad so long? In this 4-video compilation, I share four of my most popular videos featuring letters from people suffering from limerence. Hear my advice on how to recognize limerence has gone too far, and what you can do to stop it. How to Tell if Someone is Partner Material?: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3YBwKkj 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Work is the worst place to fall in love with someone you can’t have – or rather, someone with whom you're forbidden to pursue a relationship with. Workplace affairs have the potential to ruin your happiness and theirs and cause both of you to lose your jobs. One thing that can make this all much worse, is if you are prone to limerence, i.e., you tend to get romantically obsessed with people – at the level of a strong addiction – especially when they are off limits to you. This is common for people who grew up abused and neglected. In this video, I respond to a letter from a man who is on the very brink of running everything in his life. The Signs of Limerence: Free PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3PbqblT 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

The trouble with being abused is that it can wreck your thinking... You disconnect. You go numb. And when you feel awful inside, you can't always tell where the feeling is coming from. In a dysfunctional family, the hurt and blame can go flying in all directions, and become like glue – binding everyone to the toxic dynamic that hurt them in the first place. So how do you heal? In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who is struggling to make her daughter stop blaming her. But she may be unable to see the underlying problem. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Jeff Krasno, the founder and CEO of the global wellness platform Commune Media, thought he was pretty healthy. Though he suffered from brain fog, chronic fatigue, and bouts of insomnia, those symptoms seemed utterly normal in today’s society. When he learned he had diabetes, his first thought was, How can that be? I run a wellness company! In this video, I interview Jeff about his new book "Good Stress," why doing hard things can actually be GOOD for your health, and the surprising ways people healing from past trauma might benefit from doing things that are hard. You can get Jeff's book Good Stress here: https://a.co/d/2483o8f You can find Jeff's wellness company Commune here: https://www.onecommune.com/ 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

So many people are stuck in their CPTSD symptoms. How can you face your trauma symptoms and make REAL changes that last? In this 4-video complication, I share some of my most popular videos about TRANSFORMATION -- how you can overcome some of the common challenges associated with trauma in your past, and become more successful, more connected, and more FREE to live your life happily. Ten Signs Your Trauma Is Healing: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3raZghI 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

When your heart’s desire is to find a love that’s lasting and real, listen to that. This is what you are meant to have. And if you grew up with trauma, what might be blocking you from what you want is unhealed trauma, wobbly boundaries, and a big cluttered pile of half-relationships all over your life. You can’t be open to real love when your emotions are like a cluttered home. No one can get in the door. And even if they did, you might not recognize them. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who wants real love but first must emerge from the cluttered emotions left behind by her history of disappointing relationships and trauma from the past. Is Past Trauma Affecting Your Dating Life? Take the QUIZ: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3EUy8Yh 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

This is what it feels like to fall for an avoidant: First, there’s a STRONG feeling of connection, like the feeling you knew was possible, and you recognize it like you’ve found home at last. Then you attach quickly, while you can, because the signs that they can’t love you back begin to appear immediately. They don’t look like red flags to you, because that incredible moment when they are right in front of you, but not quite with you – feels like the most romantic feeling you’ve ever felt. Except you have felt it before. If it keeps happening, in one relationship after another, it means it’s not just bad luck, but a pattern. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who worries she's doomed forever to pine away for people who don't love her back. Watch Out For These Dating Red Flags DOWNLOAD WORKSHEET: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3T7surQ 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

It can be HARD to find the right person and form a deep and lasting romantic relationship -- especially if you've had trauma in your past, or you come from a dysfunctional family. If you want to attract real love, then it's time for YOU to get ready! In this video, I cover 20 signs that YOU are "partner material." This means you're happy, you're able to give love, and your life is not complicated and problems. Find out how many of these signs are already happening in you -- and which ones you may want to work on so that you are ready for the right person to find you. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Abuse and neglect in childhood can set in motion lifelong trauma symptoms. The people who hurt you are 100% responsible for this harm... it's NOT your fault. It's also true that in adulthood, many of us continue to retraumatize ourselves with what I call "self-defeating behaviors." These are the habits and tendencies that can suck you right back down into dysregulation and lead you into MORE trauma in your life. In this video, I walk you through the most common self-defeating behaviors. Check which ones are holding you back now. 16 CPTSD Behaviors That Sabotage Your Success: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3mmvYdA 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

If your attachment style is so anxious and insecure that when your partner pushes you away, and says “I don’t want to be with you anymore,” – YOU hold on tighter than ever – you are stuck in distorted thinking. If you’ve ever done this – and I have – you know on some level that you’re wrong. It’s your fear of abandonment driving you to beg and humiliate yourself. And then what do you do? Rationalize it, right? You tell yourself, "I’m not clinging to someone who doesn’t me --I’m trying to HELP them!" In this video, I respond to a letter from a man who THINKS he's being nice by trying to help a partner who isn't into him. How to Tell if Someone is Partner Material?: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3YBwKkj 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Your partner is not your child, so if you're doing everything for them (when they could do these things for themselves), you are overfunctioning. If you grew up with trauma, you may have been “programmed” to pick up all the slack, which might work for a little bit, but eventually it breeds resentment and breakdown of the relationship. Overfunctioning doesn't change by itself when the relationship ends though. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman with CPTSD who left her underfunctioning partner, and will do almost anything NOT to play that role when she dates someone new. How to Tell if Someone is Partner Material?: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3YBwKkj 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Having more than your share of conflict with other people is a common adult symptom of growing up with neglect and abuse. Fighting, arguing, and falling out with people can feel normal when your nervous system is always dysregulated. It can feel like the world is doing this to you. But if it keeps happening, the common factor may be you, and the good news is, you can heal this trauma-driven behavior. In this video I teach why people with CPTSD are so prone to conflict, and what you can do to "cool down" a conversation that's getting heated. I'll also show you how to repair the damage when relationships are damaged, with step by step instructions on the right way to make an apology. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Attachment wounds stem from your primary relationship with parents when you were a child, and affect who you fall in love with, and how you behave in relationships. In this 4-video compilation, I share four of my most popular videos in which I answer letters from people struggling with attachment styles -- disorganized, avoidant, and anxious -- and the triggers this generates in their relationships. Do you have CPTSD? Take the QUIZ: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3X9MZ7J 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

It’s so hard to know if you should stay in a safe relationship even though it’s dull, or break up with that person so you can try for something more romantic and wild? If you grew up with trauma, you may see these as the only two options. And chances are, until you heal, no new relationship will bring the fulfillment and love you hope for. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who is deciding if she should leave her avoidant long-term partner for someone equally unavailable. How To Prepare For a Great Relationship: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3raZghI 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

People with CPTSD often end up with a harsh "edge" to their personalities, especially when they feel vulnerable. It's no surprise that after a childhood of emotional neglect and deprivation, without protection from bullies or abusers, some of us would have "fighting energy," even when we're trying to flirt or go on dates. You can develop a distorted idea of the qualities people are looking for in a mate, and aggressively promote one aspect of your life, while using language and an emotional tone that pushes them away. My letter today is from a woman who considers herself to look "perfect on paper," but has never had a successful relationship. Hear her letter and my tough love advice for her. Ten Signs Your Trauma Is Healing: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3raZghI 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Unfortunately, it can be very easy to take advantage of people who were traumatized as kids, and make them think that some uncomfortable or painful or exploitative situation will lead to being loved. When you haven’t been loved properly, almost everyone becomes vulnerable to manipulation, because love and being included is something we all want so much. We need it! And one way that manipulative people can take what they want from vulnerable people is by giving you spiritual or ideological reasons why you should go against common sense, even when red flags are flashing, accepting bad treatment, and in many cases consent to continued exploitation. Is Past Trauma Affecting Your Dating Life? Take the QUIZ: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3EUy8Yh 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

One sign that childhood trauma is still affecting you is that you probably have at least one of these common triggers -- things that set off dysregulation in your nervous system, and make it hard for you to function at your best. These include hurrying, socializing, abandonment and feeling left out. Do you have these? In this 4-video compilation I share some of my most popular videos about these four major triggers. I'll teach you how to notice them, and what to do to calm triggers before they cause you to get dysregulated. Are You Dysregulated? Take the QUIZ: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3JwTn5r 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

It’s every traumatized kids’ dream, that one day, your parents will finally see how much their abusive behavior hurt you, and they’ll change, and say they’re sorry – even if you had to cut them out of your life for a long time – and do everything that’s needed to set things right. But really, what COULD set things right? And even if they really had changed, would you be able to handle picking up that relationship again without falling back down into a place you know TOO well, where you’re depressed and dysregulated and your life gets stuck? In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who is weighing whether to let her abusive parents back into her life.  Difficult People in Your Life? Try These NINJA BOUNDARIES: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3YCnpZJ 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

In life, there are people who are going to try to treat you badly. Your gut is going to tell you that what they’re doing is NOT OK, and your gut KNOWS you need to get out of there. But if you were abused or neglected as a kid? There’s something a lot stronger than what you know to be true, and that’s the fear of leaving someone you’ve formed an attachment with. It will make you doubt what you see and hear with your own eyes, and you’ll talk yourself into putting up with something that two hours ago you KNEW was a deal breaker. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who realizes she is hurting herself with self-deception. Watch Out For These Dating Red Flags DOWNLOAD WORKSHEET: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3T7surQ 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

The most powerful thing you can do to have meaningful connection with people is to make them feel like you hear them. People love this, and doing it is an art. But very few people get trained how to do this, especially those of us who grew up in dysfunctional families. In this video, I'll teach you how to overcome ten common conversation stoppers that push people away, and how to make people feel heard and appreciated instead. How to Be a Better Friend: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3WS0475 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Growing up abused and neglected has an almost universal effect of draining people of their innate POWER. You lose the sense that you have agency to make anything good happen. It takes will, resilience and luck to recover enough to remember who you are, to stay connected to your potential, and to know it's worth trying to become MORE than you are right now. In this 4-video compilation I teach about ways people with trauma from childhood become disempowered, and how to heal the patterns and free your life at last. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Being avoidant in relationships isn’t just the obvious stuff – they won’t commit, they blow hot and cold, they ghost you when you try to talk about commitment. You might not realize this, but if you have a PATTERN of falling for people like this, YOU are avoiding intimacy just as much, but in your own way. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who is navigating a relationship where two people who can't get close fall madly in love! Do You Struggle to Connect with People?: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3LcjDD8 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Nothing good can come from relationships built on lies. You can tell yourself that you lie because you don’t want to hurt the other person. You can tell yourself you lie because something bad happened to you when you were a kid. And you can put all kinds of psychological jargon on it. But if you keep doing it, it will wreck everything in your life, and seriously harm others around you. So the question is, how far are you willing to go to STOP the lies? My letter today is from a man I’ll call Artie, and he writes. 16 CPTSD Behaviors That Sabotage Your Success: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3mmvYdA 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

The core symptom of early trauma is neurological dysregulation, and it drives almost every other CPTSD symptom (or makes it worse). In this video, I explain what dysregulation is, what it feels like, and how you can support trauma healing powerfully by learning to re-regulate quickly, and stay regulated more of the time. Doing this can help you feel calmer and more focused, and increase your success in healing. Learn Quick Measures to Get Re-Regulated: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3YBrIVg 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Work and career are important to success and happiness. But trauma from your childhood can trigger behaviors that block your advancement and ruin opportunities. In this 4-video compilation, I teach how common trauma-driven behaviors can hurt your work life, and how you can stop the self-sabotage, manage your symptoms and thrive in your career. Do you have CPTSD? Take the QUIZ: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3X9MZ7J 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

People who were traumatized in the past can be easy targets for people seeking CONTROL. Has this happened to you? If your sense of self is not yet strong, it's easy to fall under the spell of someone who will TELL you who you are. They’ll what you should do and if you push back, they will punish you. This is narcissistic abuse. It’s emotional manipulation. And it's how people can be "brainwashed" to believe anything. In this video, I reply to a letter from a woman with a controlling boyfriend, who is desperate for advice. But can she hear it? 10 Things Romantic Manipulators Say: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3ZcUnkm 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

When someone is wounded by trauma in childhood, it can SEEM to them that other people should be able to make them feel better. They may believe that if only you cared enough, or validated their feelings enough, their loneliness and hurt would go away. This is a lot of pressure, and a projection that you can't actually fix for them. It's hard to be compassionate with someone who is hurting, and yet say NO to their demands that you keep listening, keep giving, and keep taking responsibility for their healing. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who is fed up with a sibling's venting and emotional hounding. Hear my advice for how to set boundaries with a sibling with CPTSD. Difficult People in Your Life? Try These NINJA BOUNDARIES: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3YCnpZJ 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Complex PTSD (CPTSD) is a cluster of symptoms that can result from chronic, intense, ongoing trauma, usually during childhood. The symptoms include poor mental focus and procrastination, emotional dysregulation, chronic health problems and a haunting sense of disconnection from other people. It can be a huge relief to discover these symptoms have a name. And once you know the signs, you can get to work on healing. In this video, I teach 12 signs that early trauma may be affecting you now. Share in the comments which ones you've noticed in yourself. Do you have CPTSD? Take the QUIZ: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3X9MZ7J 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Most people won't tolerate mistreatment from friends. But if you grew up with abusive or neglectful parents, you may have been conditioned to hang on for life to toxic friends, no matter what. In this four-video compilation of some of my most popular videos, I respond to letters from people whose connection wounds are keeping them trapped in toxic friendships. Instead of leaving, they are giving in to the trauma-driven tendency to blame themselves for their friend's bad behavior. Hear my advice about when to leave, and how to heal afterward. 16 CPTSD Behaviors That Sabotage Your Success: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3mmvYdA 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

If you were betrayed in childhood by the adults you trusted, your self-esteem and boundaries can be so wounded, that you become “betrayal blind.” You can SEE you’re getting SO much LESS than you need and deserve in a relationship, but because you can’t face ending things, you UNSEE it. This is self-deception, and we are motivated to disbelieve what we see because the need for love is SO strong, and facing the truth, means the crumbs of love you’re getting will be lost – and that feels impossible. So what can you do? in this video, I respond to a woman who is RIGHT on the verge of facing the truth about her boyfriend – but she’s tempted to believe she’s just being paranoid. Is she tripping? See what YOU think. Watch Out For These Dating Red Flags DOWNLOAD WORKSHEET: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3T7surQ 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

When you were a child you needed the attention of parents – not just for food and shelter, but for your emotions. You need them to recognize and see when you were struggling, and help you navigate relationships, stand up for yourself, and set boundaries. That's what parenting IS. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who was raised by dismissive parents, who invalidated her needs and prioritized their own activities and preferences. Now she is with a dismissive partner, and worse, she has grown to be dismissive of HERSELF. Hear her letter and my response. Difficult People in Your Life? Try These NINJA BOUNDARIES: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3YCnpZJ 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Being around people, especially if you grew up with trauma, can feel stressful, trigger-y, and dysregulating. People can be mean, they judge you and they make you feel left out, like you don’t belong. For many of us, this started when we were in our own families when we were small. Did this happen to you? The coping mechanism you might have used was Self-Suppression -- playing small and trying to protect yourself by not being really YOU. Learn 40 ways YOU might be doing this. These behaviors are incredibly common and they will hold you back. Get something to write on, because in this video I'm going to tell you how to get free. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

There’s an almost universal symptom that people who grew up with trauma will tend to exhibit - and it’s a sense of disconnection. And even though you crave social connection, trauma often comes with "people triggers" that make interactions stressful and dysregulating for you. When you're feeling triggered by people, shutting them out feels like it's the right, best, most self-caring thing you can do. But when you do it long term it can bring unhappiness to every area of your life. In this 4-video compilation, I teach why people with early find socializing so disabling, and what you can do to feel more ease and comfort in social situations. Do You Struggle to Connect with People?: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3LcjDD8 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

There is a huge connection between abuse and neglect – especially emotional neglect in childhood – and a painful pattern in adulthood of pouring all the love in your heart into the IDEA of someone you can’t have. The word for this is limerence. And as much as this is a painful and lonely maladaptation of our very human need for love – there’s something tender and beautiful about this too. I used to think limerence was something shameful and crazy, until I received this extraordinary letter from a woman a few years ago called Sofia, which I wanted to share with you in this video that was much beloved by my viewers at the time. Tell me in the comments what YOU think. Ten Signs Your Trauma Is Healing: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3raZghI 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Not every obsessive relationship is a romance. Sometimes it’s a friendship that gets through the cracks of the neglect you grew up with in childhood, and it becomes HUGE In your mind. You think about them, you want them to approve of you, you want them to unconditionally love and support you in all circumstances, all the time – (which is a clue, by the way, this is an unmet need from your childhood that’s leaked out onto an unsuspecting friend. Things come to a head when reality hits, and either you’ll see how your attachment wounds have been running the show and course correct – or fall deeper into helplessness and obsession. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who is jeopardizing a friendship by expecting too much. 16 CPTSD Behaviors That Sabotage Your Success: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3mmvYdA 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF