The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle

If you grew up with an abusive or neglectful parent – and especially if you were the oldest child -- you may have learned to dance around and do everything in your power to make Mom stop being sad. You may have erased your feelings and needs and instead poured ALL YOUR ENERGY into the parent. People who have done this often have a hard time getting perspective on it, and realizing that no parent should be draining the life out of a child just so THEY can feel OK. The parent’s needs are never met through this, but worse, the child completely loses any sense of self. And having no sense of self is bound to generate unhealthy adult relationships that continue the cycle. How can you break out and become your real self? How to Be a Better Friend, Free Download: https://bit.ly/3WS0475 Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

Too many people with Childhood PTSD are held back by trauma symptoms that damage their ability to envision their future, form positive work relationships, and maintain the focus and physical energy needed to get ahead. But healing from your trauma symptoms frees you, and allows you to use the determination and inner resourcefulness common in people who were. abused and neglected as children. In this "best of" compilation, of my videos on the subject of work, I teach the most important symptoms to heal, and share stories from individuals who were challenged on the job by the wounds of their past, and learned to overcome them. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

Every day, I read the comments and questions of hundreds of viewers on my YouTube channel. Sometimes the questions make me angry. Sometimes I want to give the person a hug! In this video I respond to some of the most challenging and interesting questions about Childhood PTSD and how we heal, one by one. FREE Download: "Ten Signs Your Trauma Is Healing" https://bit.ly/3raZghI Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]    

It’s a horrible feeling when you THINK someone is interested in you and flirted with you, and then you respond in what you THINK is the same vibe – and THEY FREAK OUT. People who were emotionally neglected as kids have a hard time reading other people’s feelings and intentions as it is. But when limerence is at play (the obsessive, addictive form of love for someone you can’t actually have) it can make it almost impossible to know if someone is interested in your, or if you’re weirding them out by confessing your love. Do you ever get completely torn up inside with this kind of confusion? In this video I answer a letter from a woman who THOUGHT a coworker returned her strong attraction. Find out what happened when you told him how she felt, and hear my advice to heal her perception and to move forward with confidence. Is Past Trauma Affecting Your Dating Life? Take the QUIZ: https://bit.ly/3EUy8Yh Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

Codependency sucks the life out the person who can't help but try to extract their own happiness by changing another person. If you believe you'd be happy IF your partner (or relative) would do what you believe is best, you need to watch this video. Are YOU in a Codependent Relationship? Free Download: https://bit.ly/3pwt5c6 Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

So much content on trauma is about WHAT HAPPENED. It's true that acknowledging the past is important, but real healing happens when you can notice your CPTSD SYMPTOMS and use strategies to calm your trauma reactions and make positive changes in your life. In this "best of" compilation I share my top videos on how you can stop the drama and transform you life after trauma. Heal Trauma in Just One Year? Download pdf : https://bit.ly/3JrPdvx Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

Overfunctioning is a trauma reaction where a person does TOO much – too much work, too much managing, too much trying to compensate for other people being unsafe, unloving and unreliable. It’s a survival mechanism that can be destructive to your health and your relationships. And, people end up resenting overfunctioners – especially if they are underfunctioners! Not having a hundred things to do can make an overfunctioner feel anxious, so no matter how much we swear we’re going to slow down soon, we often don’t. But is it really so bad to work harder than most other people? Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

When you were never loved enough in the first place -- and then you witness someone else getting really, really loved – it can tear down all the defenses you’ve built up in order to cope with the painful absence of love in your life. If you have Childhood PTSD, you may be hiding from that pain because if you were to actually face the losses -- the breakups, the bad choices, feelings of shame or guilt -- you fear it would be unbearable. And so out of protection you stay in denial. But then something happens where you just CAN’T hide from it anymore. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who can't help feeling miserable at someone else's wedding. How To Prepare For a Great Relationship. Download PDF - https://bit.ly/43SH8aV Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

If you’re not making progress healing from the effects of a traumatic childhood, it’s very likely, that whatever you were told to do is not working for you.There's an old way the world sees trauma and treatment, and there’s an emerging, research-based approach.In this video I talk about that emerging approach, and how I’ve come to understand and work with people who are progressing through five distinct phases of trauma healing. In this video you'll learn what they are, and be able to identify where YOU are in the process. Heal Trauma in Just One Year? Free Download: https://bit.ly/3JrPdvx Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

If you were neglected, manipulated, or gaslighted as a child you may still be struggling to be sure if a hurtful situation is a) someone mistreating you or b) your imagination. Until you heal trauma-driven wounds to your perception, you may be prone to indecision and self-doubt. In this "best of" compilation of my videos on CPTSD and Damaged Perception, I teach how the problem manifests, and how to gradually heal and affirm your perception so you can make better choices and move forward with confidence. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

There’s a deep need in every one of us to have a parent who deeply loves us. Where THEY are, is where we derive the feeling of HOME. And sometimes, as we grow up and go out on our own, when times get rough - the love of that parent and the existence of that place, provides an anchor - a shelter where we can return for comfort and strength.So many of us with Childhood suffer with a vague sense of emotional homelessness, either because we lost that parent too soon, or we never had them in the first place. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

If you grew up emotionally neglected, you may have learned to ignore and override clear information that someone is mistreating you. At first you feel hurt and angry when they do it; you try to set a boundary and pull away. But soon, this other part of you starts making you think that it’s YOU who’s the bad one -- that you’re just expecting too much, or you’re being too unforgiving, or you're just making trouble where there isn’t any trouble. THAT is how abandonment wound can distort your thinking and trap you in terrible situations. You CAN heal. In this video I respond to a letter from a single mother in a long-term dating relationship with a man who is dismissive and occasionally cruel. Hear my advice on how to STOP going back to him, and restart her life. How To Prepare For a Great Relationship, DOWNLOAD PDF: https://bit.ly/43SH8aV Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

*** Limerent obsession with someone you can't have can become more than harmless little fantasy -- especially if they give you signals that there's HOPE. Limerence is basically an addictive tendency to POUR your life’s energy into the IDEA of a relationship that doesn’t really exist (or not like you think it does). When you know in your bones someone’s not into you you might TRY to face reality and move on, but what can happen is what I call a Limerent FLIP. And that flip can keep you trapped, in love with something that doesn’t exist, and draining any kind of happy future right out of your life. So how can you tell if there’s actually hope, or if you’re FLIPPING? Heal trauma-driven patterns and find real love at last: http://bit.ly/3IBbrv7  *** Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeWEnroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcfSend your questions & comments to: [email protected]

Rather than creating a happy life, people with trauma from childhood wait for the ideal relationship to come along and MAKE them happy. You may catch yourself believing that if you could JUST find the right person, or say the right thing, everything would work in your life. But when your identity isn't developed and you don't know how to be happy, your life is full of holes. This is when people with CPTSD may try to use "emotional spackle," filling in the holes by ignoring red flags and opening their hearts as IF the other person is wonderful and reciprocates their feelings. But imagining there is love where there is no love brings grave disappointment. How can you see clearly, and reserve your heart until the time -- and the person -- is right? How to Tell if Someone is Partner Material? Free Download: https://bit.ly/3YBwKkj *** Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeWEnroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcfSend your questions & comments to: [email protected]

Kids are supposed to learn how to 'be" in the world from their parents. If you were ignored, you had to figure things out by yourself using a child's logic. If you tend to go into a stress response when you try to communicate (especially around your emotions and your boundaries), it could be a sign that you weren't listened to as a child. In this video I lay out several signs that are common in adults with CPTSD, and specifically, who weren't listened to when they were small. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I  Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeWEnroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcfSend your questions & comments to: [email protected]

Magical thinking is a symptom of trauma. It helped you when you were small to imagine a life that was safe and welcoming for you. But if the habit of distorted thinking around romantic relationships continues into adulthood, you may find that it's impossible to form a real, lasting, mutually committed relationship. In this "best of" compilation, I share some of my most popular videos where I teach how to spot your own magical thinking patterns, and how to get real and communicate clearly and perceive accurately WHAT another person feels for you, what they intend, and whether dating them makes sense. If you have CPTSD, this video could save you years of heartbreak and loneliness. Heal trauma-driven patterns and find real love at last:  Learn More about my Dating Course http://bit.ly/3IBbrv7 Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

Abuse, neglect and other traumatic experiences from your past can cause nervous system changes that cause your emotions to come out stronger than other people's. Rage, panic, or passionate attachment to others can get so oversized that they ruin relationships and damage others' trust in you. In this "best of" compilation I teach you why this happens, and how to regulate your nervous system, so you can have the full range of emotions, but not be drowned by them. *** Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeWEnroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcfSend your questions & comments to: [email protected]

Based on all the hundreds of letters I get – the background stories about abuse and neglect in childhood, and the present day struggles to form loving, committed relationships – it’s clear to me that limerence is the fruit of emotional neglect. We get too good at seeing love where there is no love, and if we don’t heal, it continues into adulthood, becoming worse in times when we’re isolated, grieving, and chronically stressed. In this video I respond to a letter from a Ukranian refugee devastated when a new relationship fizzled out. Is Past Trauma Affecting Your Dating Life? Take the QUIZ: https://bit.ly/3EUy8Yh *** Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeWEnroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcfSend your questions & comments to: [email protected]

Have CPTSD? TAKE THE QUIZ: http://bit.ly/3GhE65z FREE COURSE: The Daily Practice: http://bit.ly/3X1BrE0 Website: http://bit.ly/3CxgkRY *** What do you do when you're forced to be face-to-face with the person who traumatized you when you were small? Do you confront them, warn them, talk in advance? Ignore them? In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who will be attending a family gathering, where she'll see her father for the first time after years of no contact. Hear my suggestions for strengthening her boundaries to avoid trouble, while enjoying the day. Difficult People in Your Life? Try These NINJA BOUNDARIES: https://bit.ly/3YCnpZJ ***

Have CPTSD? TAKE THE QUIZ: http://bit.ly/3GhE65z FREE COURSE: The Daily Practice: http://bit.ly/3X1BrE0 Website: http://bit.ly/3CxgkRY *** If you grew up in a dysfunctional family (especially if your parents didn't have strong social skills) there’s a high probability that finding good friends and developing close friendships has been hard for you. The lack of good friends can devastate your life over time: You end up isolated, lonely and vulnerable. Having people who love you and “get” you is a factor in your physical and mental health. Not having friends is a big setback, and if this has been a struggle in the past, you've been robbed you of the life you deserve in some ways already. In this video I break down, step by step, actions you can take to find better friends and sustain more fulfilling friendships over time. Learn Better Friendship Skills. FREE Download: https://bit.ly/3WS0475 ***

A history of abuse and neglect in childhood affects how you think, what you believe, and how you act. This is a major factor that explains why people with CPTSD seem to make self-sabotaging decisions, ruining opportunities and repeating terrible mistakes you swore you'd never do again. In this "best of" compilation, I share a collection of videos where I teach about identifying trauma-driven decisions and thoughts, and how to support yourself in order to make better choices and change your life. Has Past Trauma Affected Your Ability to Connect? CONNECTION QUIZ: https://bit.ly/3LcjDD8 Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

Have CPTSD? TAKE THE QUIZ: http://bit.ly/3GhE65z FREE COURSE: The Daily Practice: http://bit.ly/3X1BrE0 Website: http://bit.ly/3CxgkRY *** It's common for people who grew up emotionally neglected or exposed to trauma to have difficulty finding friends and maintaining friendships. Sometimes we choose unreliable people; sometimes we (unintentionally) push good poeple away. In this "best of" compilation I share a series of videos highlighting common challenges for people with CPTSD. ***

Have CPTSD? TAKE THE QUIZ: http://bit.ly/3GhE65z FREE COURSE: The Daily Practice: http://bit.ly/3X1BrE0 Website: http://bit.ly/3CxgkRY *** To avoid responsibility for their own actions, abusive parents sometimes make one child into a scapegoat, and siblings follow suit. Scapegoat suffer horribly, but getting pushed out of the family sometimes means they demonstrate more strength and success in life than those who we kept in the family fold. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman trying to make sense of the fact she was rejected by every family member. Difficult People in Your Life? Try These NINJA BOUNDARIES: https://bit.ly/3YCnpZJ

If you grew up neglected, chances are good that when you’re under stress, you get emotionally dysregulated -- your nervous system reacts to stressors with extra strong emotions. When most people would be hurt, you’re devastated. When you fall in love it feels enormous. And getting angry, unfortunately for the people who love you, can turn into RAGE. Emotional dysregulation is not exclusive to Childhood PTSD, but it’s a very common and very destructive symptom. And perhaps more than any other truama symptom, it ruins relationships and kills dreams. The good news is, healing is possible, and in this video I teach you how. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

To be “Demoralized” means to be deflated of all that makes you strong – to have too many bad and discouraging things happen to you until you lose your mental clarity, and lose your drive to bring good into the world. It includes disempowerment, but it takes it one terrible step further – to where you lose your awareness of what is GOOD, and what is right. The most important first step of healing is to recover your faith that GOOD is real, and it matters. Heal Trauma in Just One Year? https://bit.ly/3JrPdvx Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

Codependency may feel like a personality quirk but it can grow much, much worse. Codependency can snowball into a crisis-level distortion of thinking that -- unless you heal -- drags down your life (and the lives of others). In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who finds herself pregnant and dependent upon an undependable and possibly dangerous partner, but cannot see the role she must play to get to safety. Is Past Trauma Affecting Your Dating Life? Take the QUIZ: https://bit.ly/3EUy8Yh Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:  https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]   

People neglected or abandoned in childhood often have an anxious attachment style in adulthood, growing frantic while dating a new person to extract security and connection, before they get to know the other person. The result can be off-putting for partners and can ruin any chance of finding real love. In this video I respond to a letter from a young woman whose first date starts well, but ends in the same disaster she's created before. Hear my tips for healing attachment wounds and pacing the dating process to avoid pushing good people away. Is Past Trauma Affecting Your Dating Life? Take the QUIZ: https://bit.ly/3EUy8Yh Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:  https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] 

Many people traumatized as children show TRAITS of narcissism. Part if this is learned from narcissistic parents, and part develops to compensate for trauma wounds. In this "best of" compilation I bring together my most popular videos on traits of narcissism -- in ourselves and others -- and letters from people raised by narcissistic parents. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:  https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] 

People are triggering, especially if you who were traumatized in the past. One way to manage your triggers is through avoidance -- living in isolation, holding loved ones at arms length, or going through the motions of a connected life but never feeling connected at all. In this "best of" compilation of my videos on avoidance, I teach about the signs to look for in yourself and others of avoidance, with practical steps to begin to heal. Has Past Trauma Affected Your Ability to Connect? CONNECTION QUIZ: https://bit.ly/3LcjDD8 Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:  https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] 

A cluttered living space is one common sign a person has been affected by past trauma. But Complex-PTSD often manifests as a similar kind of chaos and overwhelm in your thinking, your relationships, your emotions and the way you spend your time. Learn how you can declutter your thinking, your friendships, your calendar and yes -- your physical space. Try My Ultimate Mental Decluttering Technique Free -- The Daily Practice: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Website: https://bit.ly/3Nyg7nt

I received several letters this week (the fifth week of lockdown) about the ache of emptiness that's getting hard to escape. Is real love even possible for people with CPTSD? Here's my answer. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:  https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

Adults who experienced early trauma are prone to dysregulation of the brain and nervous system, especially in response to stress. Dysregulation, in turn, can trigger (or exacerbate) depression, anxiety, illness, addiction and emotional outbursts. So clearly, learning to re-regulate is the first step in healing the effects of Childhood PTSD. 10 Emergency Measures to Re-Regulate: https://bit.ly/3ogTEkM Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:  https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

When you meet someone really wonderful, do you fall into consuming anxiety about whether it will work out -- to the extent that it damages any hope of having a relationship? This is not uncommon, and is one manifestation of CPTSD. In this episode, I respond to a letter from a woman who has gradually gotten to know a good man, and has just begun to date him. As soon as she was sure the feelings were reciprocal, the panic set in. Listen to her story and my advice to her to save this budding relationship while she still can. Download my FREE guide to the signs that tell you someone is "partner material." https://bit.ly/3KYOxP1 Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:  https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

In the post-pandemic age of the internet, more people than ever are isolated and LONELY. People who have lived through trauma, especially in childhood, may have suffered neurological changes that make connecting even harder -- until you learn to heal. In this episode, I teach about trauma-driven loneliness -- what causes it, how to heal it, and how healthy solitude can be part of your healing. Has past trauma affected your ability to connect with people? Download my free Connection Quiz here: https://bit.ly/3GLul0F Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:  https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] 

Getting things done is a HUGE problem for many people, especially with the neurological effects of trauma complicating your ability to focus, to maintain consistent energy levels, and to handle emotional upsets that are bound to happen from time to time. In this "best of" compilation, I share strategies for overcoming procrastination and "action paralysis." Learn how you can overcome limitations from the past and accomplish important goals that make you happy. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:  https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

Abandonment triggers can get activated when you feel rejected, overlooked, left behind and ostracized: If you grew up physically or emotionally neglected, abandonment wounds may damage relationships and professional opportunities. How can you tell if YOUR abandonment wounds are active? In this episode, I teach about the triggers that are common for people who carry wounds of abandonment and ostracization. You Can Try the Healing Techniques I mention in this episode here: FREE Daily Practice Course: https://bit.ly/3A3v5dH  Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:  https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

As a child you developed coping mechanisms to tolerate abuse and still keep your precious spirit intact. People with Childhood PTSD often internalize the hateful messages they received, and struggle to change their lives for the better. In this episode, I respond to a letter from a woman who speaks to herself in the same cruel way her father once did. Hear my advice to her on how CHANGE the pattern of self-attack, and take positive actions toward a fuller and happier life. You Can Try the Healing Techniques I mention in this episode here: FREE Daily Practice Course: https://bit.ly/3A3v5dH Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:  https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

In this "best of" compilation of earlier episodes, I teach about the ways Childhood PTSD and CPTSD can disrupt your ability to find, grow and maintain good relationships. Sit back and enjoy! Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:  https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

When destructive people harm children, they literally introduce evil into those children's lives. Unless trauma is healed, this evil -- this harm -- is very likely to be passed from person to person, and generation to generation. It can STOP with you! Learn how healing trauma is the most important step you can take to transform yourself and change the course of history. Learn a practical way to release resentful and fearful emotions: Take my free Daily Practice course here: https://bit.ly/3A3v5dH  Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:  https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

Emotionally immature and neglectful parenting may have left you with a huge developmental gap -- a failure to thrive -- unable to envision or pursue the future you need and deserve.The urge to ESCAPE is a normal response to trauma, and can show up as limerent obsession with someone you can't have, working in low-paying jobs that can never support you, and waiting for someone to come along and put your life on track. In this episode, I respond to a letter from a young woman who is isolated in a job that doesn't pay the bills, who is longing for someone to scoop her up and help her feel like she's part of a family. Are you ready to radically heal your life? Download my free worksheet ONE YEAR TO HEAL here: https://bit.ly/3DX1iWx Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:  https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] 

If you grew up with trauma and dysfunction you probably didn't learn how to recognize, communicate and hold your boundaries. In this "best of" compilation, I teach what boundaries ARE, why people often don't respect them and how to manage your words and actions so that people can't violate the limits you set for yourself and how you're treated. A lack of boundaries may be the BIG reason why you isolate yourself from others. Take my Connection Quiz here: https://bit.ly/3GMCgdX Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:  https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

Some people "underfunction" -- they struggle to get motivated, finish tasks, or pursue what they really want in life. But the opposite traits can be just as limiting: Overfunctioning is the name for when you take on more than your share of responsibility. You pay more than your share. You help people who haven't asked for help (and who could help themselves). You have an overdeveloped sense that YOU know best what others should eat, think and do. But overfuncitoning is a trauma-driven behavior, and leads to burnout, resentment and alienation for the people you love. Find out what it looks like and how you can start healing. Are you dysregulated? Download my QUIZ here: https://bit.ly/3MJFZwA Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:  https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

It's not easy watching a friend make choices that YOU think are terrible mistakes. You might be right, but that doesn't mean it's helpful or supportive to keep pushing your advice on them. In this podcast, I respond to a letter from a woman who has lost a friend whom she tried to warn about a job decision they were making. Finding out why I teach that believing you know BETTER than a peer how they should is a huge friendship mistake. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:  https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf  You can access my Connection Bootcamp course right here: https://bit.ly/3GLul0F

Everyone has self-defeating behaviors, and everyone gets triggered sometimes. But if you grew up with abuse and neglect, it can be hard to control the emotional reactions that erupt when you're stressed, and this can lead to even stronger self-sabotaging actions. So much of the damage from childhood trauma lies in this trigger/emotiona/behavior sequence that can take place over and over throughout your life. But you can heal that sequence so that you can handle stress WITHOUT slipping into old patterns that have held you back. In this podcast I tell you how. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:  https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Download '16 CPTSD Behaviors That Sabotage Your Success': https://bit.ly/3MLVdkO

People who were emotionally neglected as children often find themselves by people who (you guessed it) emotionally neglect them: They don't want to hear you when it's your turn to talk. They don't want to help you when you need help -- even though you've helped THEM many times. If you find yourself hurt and resentful that your friends are self-centered, the change begins with you. In this podcast, I respond to a letter from a woman who wonders why her friends are like this; hear my tips for how she can change this pattern and enjoy reciprocation with good people who care. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:  https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf

Work and career are important to success and happiness. But trauma from your childhood can trigger behaviors that block your advancement and ruin opportunities. In this podcast, I teach common trauma-driven behaviors behaviors that can hurt your work life, and how you can change and heal. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:  https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf

Trauma during childhood can teach you to "give away your power" through self-destructive tendencies, people pleasing, and an urge to flee conflict, responsibility, and intimacy. To heal trauma, you need your POWER -- the power to take care of yourself, to take action, and to hold boundaries against mistreatment by others. In this podcast, I teach about 20 ways that people with CPTSD sometimes give their power away -- and what to do to build it BACK. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:  https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf You can access my Dating and Relationships course right here: https://bit.ly/3odjqGr

How hard do you work to keep your life on track? Some people with past trauma find they take on too much, while others are disorganized and procrastinate, hide from responsibilities, struggle to move forward toward goals. In this podcast, I respond to a letter from a woman with CPTSD. She was forced to take on adult responsibilities as a child, and today finds herself under-functioning, and is ready to change the pattern. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:  https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf

When you were a kid, you had no choice but to adapt yourself to whatever neglectful hurtful treatment you received. But now that you're an adult, it's time to shed your ability to "Crapfit" -- my word for when you fit yourself to unacceptable people and situations. In this podcast, I respond to a letter from a woman who wants her boyfriend to treat her with more care and respect. But he doesn't seem to get the message. Hear my advice to help her stop crapfitting! Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:  https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf You can download "10 Things Romantic Manipulators Say" right here: https://bit.ly/3od3xzY

If you were raised by an emotionally unstable parent, you had no choice but to accept their chaotic life choices, lack of boundaries and ever-changing rules. This was a survival strategy for you, but now it's time to clarify for yourself YOUR needs, preferences and values -- and develop boundaries so loved ones can no longer take those away from you. In this podcast, I respond to a letter from a woman who is ready to set boundaries with her impulsive, demanding mother, but needs help preparing for the explosive emotions likely to follow. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:  https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf