The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle

When parents don't validate or support their children to confidently express themselves and solve life's problems, the wound to self-esteem can last a lifetime. Healing CPTSD involves recognizing and changing the feeling that you're no good, you don't belong, and you need to play small to avoid pain. In this four-video compilation I teach how early trauma can wound your confidence, and what you can do to heal and try again to find joy and accomplish goals for success in your life. Eleven Strategies to Feel Happier Today: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Z5ynbf Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Here’s the hard truth about the wounds of CPTSD and trauma: Some of the things you didn’t GET as a child, can’t be fixed directly. We can’t go back in time. We can’t be children again to receive the proper love and care we needed then. And we can’t save people we lost. But we CAN learn to fill our lives with love and support NOW, and start working on the triggers, and the distorted thinking, and the self-defeating behaviors that are the natural byproduct of trauma in your childhood. When you do, it changes your thinking, your relationships, and your capacity to recognize red-flag people (vs people who can truly love you back). In this video I respond to a letter from a man who is attached to a woman who keeps him at arm's length, but won't let him go. Heal trauma-driven patterns and find real love at last: FREE Pdf Download: http://bit.ly/3IBbrv7 Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

For people who were neglected as children, there’s this very damaging tendency to fall in love, but with the wrong people – those who are married, or so far away the whole relationship is online, or those who are not INTO you. If you’re very, very early in the healing process, it will seem like unavailable people just seem to HAPPEN to you. The truth is both wonderful and hard to hear. People with CPTSD often attach to those people because that’s what you’re attracted to. Our attractions are shaped when we’re tiny children, we can’t help it. But just because you’re attracted to a person who is trouble for you doesn’t mean you have to ATTACH to them. My letter today is from a woman I’ll call AVERY, and she writes. How To Prepare For a Great Relationship: FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/43SH8aV Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Intense emotional reactions are common in people who were abused or neglected in childhood. They are set off by triggers (stimuli that cause neurological dysregulation), which then prompt emotional reactions, which then can lead to self-defeating behaviors. The behaviors are where you may be keeping your life stuck, and keeping yourself retraumatized. How can you stop? Focus on the reaction. Most emotional reactions fall into three categories In this video I teach how the sequence happens -- from trigger, to reaction, to behavior, and how you can identify YOUR reaction pattern so you can better target your healing efforts. Learn Quick Measures to Get Re-Regulated: FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3YBrIVg Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

Growing up without adequate time and care from parents is a form of trauma. In adulthood, it can leave you prone to choosing partners who ALSO starve you for love and attention. Whether you're fallen for someone who can't love you properly, or who is completely unavailable, your attachment to people who can't love you back will keep you stuck in grief, longing and isolation. In this 4-video compilation, I share four of my most popular responses to viewers' letters, coaching them to heal the attachment wound that keeps retraumatizing them. Watch Out For These Dating Red Flags DOWNLOAD WORKSHEET: FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3T7surQ Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

It’s normal and common for people who were neglected or abandoned in childhood to fall deeply in love with people who make them feel abandoned and unwanted ALL over again. That’s what limerence is – an obsession or infatuation with someone you can’t have – that becomes a full on addiction. And like all addictions, it can destroy everything meaningful in your life. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman how has let limerence run her life, and needs a way to change. The Signs of Limerence: FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3PbqblT Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

The “Savior Complex” is a horrible obsession, where instead of getting to know someone and seeing if there is harmony and potential for you as friends or as partners – you immediately imagine a version of them that is DIFFERENT than what they are. And then you set about trying to make them INTO that imaginary person you have in mind. You might call this "helping" them, or "healing" them (for people with CPTSD, this is almost always the expression of a trauma wound), but really what’s going on is manipulation and control. It’s not really about helping them with something they require – it’s about helping you to relieve an anxious emptiness inside, and in the end it will take a toll on both of you. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who has a compulsion to "heal" people who are not available for a relationship. Is Past Trauma Affecting Your Dating Life? Take the QUIZ: FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3EUy8Yh Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF  

The trauma symptom that’s easy to recognize in other people, but SO hard to recognize in ourselves, is damaged perception. Childhood PTSD can make you unable to discern what is true and not true. You can't tell what is your responsibility and what is not your fault, when you’re in danger and when you're just anxious. You end up always doubting yourself -- trusting the wrong people, and failing to see red flags. In this video I teach you the signs that your perception is damaged, and walk you through a step-by-step process to get it back. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected] NEED ONLINE THERAPY? *BetterHelp* can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/CCF    

Limerence is the term for obsessive love for someone you cannot have; it's more than a crush and more than being in love. As it gets stronger, it takes on the characteristics of an addiction. Some say the propensity toward limerence is genetic. Among the hundreds of letters I receive from people suffering with romantic obsession, most had an alcoholic parent, or parents who otherwise could not provide the loving care and attention that a person needs to form healthy attachments. In this 4-video compilation, I share some of my most popular videos featuring letters from viewers. The Signs of Limerence: Download Free Pdf: https://bit.ly/3PbqblT Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

Many of us who were abused or neglected as kids are forced to keep our lives small, neglecting the best part of all we can become. Going for big goals takes vulnerability, persistence and the ability to connect with people with calm emotions. If you have CPTSD, any one of these can feel impossible. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who can only be successful if she's willing to promote herself and be SEEN. Hear my advice to break through the wounds of trauma so she can shine! Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

Part of healing from trauma is getting to the point where you can HONESTLY take responsibility for your behaviors (and trauma can activate some harsh behavior!). But just because bad things happened to you in the past, doesn’t mean it’s OK to lash out, or cop out, or try to control other people. Blaming other people, or “parts” of yourself is only going to push the people you’ve further away. If you want good relationships with other people, you’re going to have to do the hard work of honestly facing yourself – not just the way you were hurt, but the way you hurt others –and taking steps to change.In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who wants a better relationship with her daughter, who keeps blocking contact with her. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

We talk a lot about "red flags" that tell you someone is NOT a good person to date. But what are the signs that someone has the right characteristics to become a good partner? In this video I list the signs to look for in the first few dates. If you have a history of relationships with partners who are emotionally unavailable, inappropriate matches for you, or abuse, you'll want to know these "green light" signals that a person is worth getting to know better. How to Tell if Someone is Partner Material?: FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3YBwKkj Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

Trauma from childhood is associated with brain and emotional dysregulation that can cause a host of other CPTSD symptoms in adults. In this 4-Video compilation, I share my most popular videos on Dysregulation -- what it feels like, what causes it and how learning to re-regulate it can help you feel calmer and more focused, and increase your success in healing. Learn Quick Measures to Get Re-Regulated: Download Free Pdf: https://bit.ly/3YBrIVg Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

All over the world, people who were abused or neglected in childhood are procrastinating, and thinking they are the only one. Freezing up, getting stuck, and struggling to get work done is common for people with CPTSD. And as long as you look at it as just laziness or a character flaw, you might be making the procrastination worse. trauma and the "freeze response" just might set you free. In this video I respond to a letter from a man whose business is at risk of failure because of his trauma-related symptoms. Dysregulation Bootcamp: FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3LlV7iW Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

Avoidance is a style of relating to other people, often driven by past trauma, that can make you feel overwhelmed and anxious even thinking about connecting with other people. If you’ve ever dating an avoidant person, you know how painful it can be to feel like you can never pin them down for plans, or get a commitment from them. And just when relationships start to feel like they’re going somewhere, the avoidant person will disappear for days or weeks at a time. Avoidants pull away from closeness, even when they want it. And ironically, what avoidant people are sometimes drawn to, is people they can’t have. There’s a weird kind of safety for avoidants in a relationship that can’t go anywhere. My letter today is from a woman I’ll call Amelie. And she writes: How to Tell if Someone is Partner Material?: FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3YBwKkj Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

Growing up in a chaotic and dysfunctional family can leave you with a wounded ability to connect. And if you have this, you may have the tendency to cling to relationships, or you might respond to things that trigger your connection wound by running away. This is avoidance. And If you've ever fled from a partner, or a friend or family member who cared about you, you know how painful this is -- how intense the need is in the moment, and how terrible it feels later. Learn the signs that trauma-driven avoidance may be blocking your ability to have relationships and enjoy your life -- and what you can do to start healing. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

Neglect and abandonment in childhood can leave you with "crossed wires" -- when someone you love mistreats you, you may feel the uncontrollable urge to make them happy -- to make them love you, even if it means abandoning yourself. In this "best of" compilation, I share four of my most popular videos on the subject of CLINGING in relationships. Do you have CPTSD? Take the QUIZ: Free Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3X9MZ7J Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

If you grew up fearing that you were in danger from your own family, you may have developed a strong sense that YOU were responsible to make everyone safe and happy. You’ll see children do this sometimes – completely abandon their own needs because they’re so worried that their mom or dad will not be OK. Your parent not being OK is an existential threat to a kid. It’s hard to imagine you can survive it. But if something doesn’t happen to help you take BACK your identity, you run the risk of giving away your whole life to this imagined need you THINK other people have. My letter today is from a woman who struggles with the belief that if she takes charge of her life, other people will not only hate her, but they'll be destroyed. Ten Signs Your Trauma Is Healing: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3raZghI Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

The idea that finding the right person will solve all your problems dies hard in the minds of traumatized people. If you were abused or neglected as a child, it can be difficult in adulthood to resist the lure of a relationship – any relationship – as a solution to the feeling that you’re unlovable, alone and lost about what kind of a life you want. This vagueness is like a barn door that’s left open. And what gets IN is other people's agenda. How can you get your life back, and know what you want? In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who needs to get her life back, and get clear on what she wants. Is Past Trauma Affecting Your Dating Life? Take the QUIZ: FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3EUy8Yh Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

12-Step fellowships can be powerful places of healing and connection. But not everyone who goes, gets something out of it. How can YOU get the most of your meetings? Here are 30 lessons I learned from 25 years in the program I attended (for families of alcoholics). Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

Neglect and abandonment in childhood can leave you with "crossed wires" -- when someone you love mistreats you, you may feel the uncontrollable urge to make them happy -- to make them love you, even if it means abandoning yourself. In this "best of" compilation, I share four of my most popular videos on the subject of CLINGING in relationships. Do you have CPTSD? Take the QUIZ: Free Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3X9MZ7J Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

If you grew up emotionally neglected, it takes strength to end a breadcrumb relationship. That’s when you’re with someone who gives you JUST enough communication and affection to keep you hooked into them – and nothing more. Ending that kind of relationship is a no brainer when you’re working to transform your life. But what about when you’re in a crisis? Should you take any love you can get, or risk losing the only bits of support you’ve got, right when you need people the most? Try the FREE Daily Practice Course - to tolerate the pain, and handle closeness with mom: FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

It takes strength to end a breadcrumb relationship – that’s when you’re with someone who gives you JUST enough communication and affection to keep you hooked into them – and nothing more. Ending that kind of relationship is a no brainer when you’re working to transform your life. But what about when you’re in a crisis? In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who is trying to decide if she should take any love she can get, or risk losing the only bits of support she's received from someone who is *maybe* in her life. Do You Struggle to Connect with People?: FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3LcjDD8 Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

There’s a CORE symptom of trauma that most people don’t know about. It’s very strong and can limit your whole life. It’s not only associated with trauma. But it’s almost universal in people who were traumatized as children, and it drives virtually every other trauma symptom. Until you’ve learned to identify and heal it, it’s hard to change the other symptoms. In this video I teach the basics of neurological dysregulation -- what it is, what it feels like, and what you can do to re-regulate your emotions and nervous system. Learn Quick Measures to Get Re-Regulated: Download Free PDF: https://bit.ly/3YBrIVg Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

Many people with Childhood PTSD have tried countless treatments for trauma and still haven't found what worked. Could therapy be right for you? That may depend on WHO you choose to help you -- the wrong therapist could send you off course. But how do you know what to look for? And is talk therapy always the right choice for people who were abused and neglected? My Online Course "Healing Childhood PTSD": Download Free PDF: http://bit.ly/3k6gQQH Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

Some people are insecure and anxious in relationships - this is a style of attachment where you constantly seek validation and love because you can’t stop fearing the person will leave. Some people have a more avoidant attachment style: They don’t like commitment, they can seem cold, and they can be quick to leave relationships as soon as it gets uncomfortable. But the hardest attachment style of all – where a person is both fearful AND avoidant – what is called “disorganized attachment." In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who swings between her intense longing for love and then shutting down and pulling away. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course. Download Free PDF: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

It's easy, when you grew up with trauma, to go unconscious in relationships. Even though you feel like things are fine and you tell everyone things are fine – a big part of you has left the building. There are a number of reasons this happens – but it’s usually a mix of abuse or neglect from the past – where you taught yourself to DENY that you’re unsafe – and a fear of facing reality in PRESENT time because you’re terrified of how you will ever live if the relationship ends. My letter today is from a man I’ll call Chris, and he writes: Self-Defeating Behavior: Free PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3mmvYdA Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

If you grew up emotionally neglected, your parents may not have helped you develop a strong sense of self. If they didn't "get" who you were, and they didn't offer validation, you may find yourself confused about the sense of disconnection you feel around other people. Is it a trauma symptom? Are you around the "wrong" people? In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who finds herself feeling disconnected from the people who have ended up in her life, but she's not sure why. Friendship Skills: FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3WS0475 Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

People who grew up poor want the same good things in life as anyone else, but if you grew up with parents who were dysfunctional or neglectful, you may not have been shown how a person can use their talents to earn a decent living. Left to figure out everything by yourself, you may have ended up with poverty thinking, hoping a lottery ticket or lawsuit would finally take away the financial strain in your life, instead of learning skills and meeting people who might help you find fulfilling work that supports you. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who has reached for a better life for years, but now feels stuck with children and a job that keeps her from the work she loves. Heal Trauma in Just One Year?: FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3JrPdvx Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

Isolating is an almost universal symptom of PTSD from childhood – or for anyone with wounds from trauma. There’s what it looks like from the outside. But the real reason you silate may not be becuase you want to be alone; chances are, you long for love and connection, and to belong in a community of friends. Find out in this video the REAL reason why traumatized people tend to hold themselves apart from others. Do You Struggle to Connect with People?: FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3LcjDD8 Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

When you first start healing CPTSD, simply feeling a little better seems like the most you could ever hope for. You DO need to feel better, but you were meant for SO much more. In this four-video compilation I share some of my best content about discovering your gifts and stepping up into your true purpose in life. Heal Trauma in Just One Year?: FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3JrPdvx Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

One of the worst wounds a parent can inflict on a child is to not recognize them as distinct person -- not caring about their unique needs and their strengths, and not helping them to recognize these in themselves. If you were neglected in this way, one way it can show up is as "romantic clutter" -- a tendency to form partial relationships with people you half-love, who only partially love you. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who has CPTSD, and for whom the pattern continues. Prepare for a GREAT Relationship: FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/43SH8aV Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

If you were neglected as a child, you may still be acting on a belief that if you could only be nice enough, your parents would have transformed into the loving, caring adults you needed. This coping mechanism helps many kids who had trauma to survive, but now that you're an adult, you may still be suppressing your real self in hopes you can make the people you date love you and stay with you. Has it worked? In this video I respond to a woman who keeps getting rejected, despite her best efforts to be helpful and "nice" to her partners. Dating Quiz: FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3EUy8Yh Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

We are living through upside-down times. People who used to be friends attack each other over opinions they can barely express. Where we once had unity, we face division. It’s hard to know what you can trust, or whom to believe. In times like this, we are called to be the BEST people we can be -- but how? A powerful exercise you can do is to consider what you are avoiding. In this video I name common strengths that we are all tempted to avoid -- and how to embrace them so we can help others to heal and belong. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

When we talk about childhood trauma, so much of the focus goes onto the past -- what happened, and who did it. This is important, but healing can't really take place until you learn to focus on -- and CALM -- present day symptoms and solve the life problems that are so common for people with CPTSD. In this "best of the Fairy" compilation, I share four of my most popular videos detailing strategies you can use to heal symptoms and transform your life.  Heal Trauma in Just One Year? FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3JrPdvx  Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

Something beautiful about people is that we are designed to delight in others – to connect and bond with them, and sometimes, to fall in love and give our whole heart. CPTSD can distort that natural process of finding someone to love, and mislead you into attaching to people who cannot love you back. If you have trauma-driven boundary problems, they are happy enough to take advantage and leave when they are done. In this video I respond to a letter from a man who feels ripped off and heartbroken, but is ready to learn how to change his dating pattern so that he can find real love. The Signs of Limerence. FREE Pdf Download: https://bit.ly/3PbqblT Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

Learning to love a partner is a huge and happy accomplishment for those of us who lived through abuse and neglect in childhood. Trauma wounds don't end in childhood; early abuse and neglect can leave us with trauma-driven behaviors that re-traumatize us and prevent healing. It can take time to release old patterns and change your life. In this video I respond to a woman with a harsh past who now struggles to find peace in her relationship, even though she is loved and supportive. Ten Signs Your Trauma Is Healing: https://bit.ly/3raZghI Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

If you had childhood trauma and you’re still relying on conventional approaches to heal, you may still be suffering with symptoms and losing hope that healing can happen. Talking about your traumatic experiences may NOT be the best way to heal from what happened to you in childhood. In fact it can activate neural circuits related to the *stress response* – that make it harder to think, harder to focus and next to impossible to process your emotions! But there's a better way. In this video I talk about 30 years of research that shows that writing about traumatic experiences has powerful healing effects. I highlight the recent podcast from Andrew Huberman @hubermanlab, summarizing the work of Dr. James Pennebaker (and subsequent peer-reviewed studies based on his work). Next Up: Learn My Daily Practice Techniques here: http://bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice You can listen to the @hubermanlab post "A Science Supported Journaling Protocol to Improve Mental & Physical Health" here: https://youtu.be/wAZn9dF3XTo?si=07-48lub-y-V6iE8 You can learn about Dr. Pennebaker and his work here: https://bit.ly/47CZ7ng Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

Some people can't focus on anyone but themselves. But others can't focus on themselves and instead become entirely focused on another person's problems -- their feelings, their shortcomings, and how unhappy they make you. This is codependency -- when you lose perspective on your own life and your own needs, and "implant" your will into someone else. Codependents are hooked on the belief that if the other person would only change, they would be happy. instead, they end up tired, resentful and isolated. In this four-video "Best of the Fairy" compilation, I share tips for how to recognize codependent tendencies in yourself and others, and what to do to heal. Signs You''re in a Codependent Relationship: https://bit.ly/3pwt5c6 Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

A true friend is someone who cares about you, and is interested in you, and supports what is best for you. They don’t get to tell you what to do, they don’t get to mercilessly criticize you, and they don’t get to use you as an emotional dumping ground and demand that you keep listening. If you have CPTSD, you may find you’re often on the receiving end of that, and you think you’re obliged to be support people who are doing things that morally abhorrent to you. But this is NOT what friendship is. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman whose problem friend demands that she keep listening -- and that she not "judge" her terrible behavior. Difficult People in Your Life? Try These NINJA BOUNDARIES: https://bit.ly/3YCnpZJ Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

If you grew up without the attention and love of good parents, you may find yourself with symptoms of Complex-PTSD. One of the worst symptoms is an attraction to people who can’t give you attention or love. You see the red flags, but you become attached anyway. Until you've healed that attachment wound, you may find yourself getting your heart broken again and again. In this video I respond to a letter from a man who found out early in a dating relationship that his partner was not available, but couldn't stop attaching. Heal trauma-driven patterns and find real love at last. DATING & RELATIONSHIPS COURSE http://bit.ly/3IBbrv7 Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

If you’re living with trauma-related symptoms from abuse and neglect in childhood, you’ve had to work extra hard for things in life that come more easily to other people. Complex PTSD (CPTSD) is a type of PTSD that comes from chronic, intense stress, usually (but not always) in childhood. You might already know you have it, and you might be working hard to heal it. But if you’re like many people with CPTSD, your healing feels stuck, and you're afraid you your life may never get better. In this video I lay out ten steps you can take to accelerate your healing. Everything gets better when you find an approach to healing that works for you! Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

For people who grew up with abuse and neglect – it’s a HUGE DAY when you finally break free of that family of origin. You actually have a barrier up against their ability to keep hurting you. You're safe, and only way they can get into your life again is when you CHOOSE to connect with them. But there’s this one huge complication, and it’s when there are other family members – especially minor children – who are still stuck in that house, and still going through what YOU used to go through. In this video I respond to a letter from a young woman who's torn between getting her own life stable, and saving her younger siblings from trauma. Here's My FREE WORKSHEET for Planning Your Life Priorities: https://bit.ly/3J3kYcH Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

When you weren’t loved properly as a child, it’s very, very common to become romantically involved in “complicated” relationships – where YOU’RE longing for something monogamous and committed and THEY’RE just jerking you around. With parents who were self-centered or who put you down, it’s no wonder you developed the ability to see great potential in people who are basically broken. The brutal truth is that every day you spend pouring your energy and your love into someone who can’t really DO a relationship with you, you’re blocking the possibility of real love coming into your life. How can you tell if someone is worth “working with” through tough times, and when you’re wasting your time? In this video I respond to a letter from a woman whose boyfriend is dragging her along through a lingering attachment to his ex. DATING RED FLAGS: Get My FREE Download Here: https://bit.ly/4203ozk Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

Bad things happen in everyone's life. For some of us, a history of abuse and neglect in childhood produces common, trauma-driven symptoms that hold us back. Even if you've endured trauma and tragedy, it's possible to heal the past, calm the symptoms and build the happy, functional, love-filled life you deserve. In this "best of" compilation, I teach about practical steps you can take to start solving problems and feeling happier today. Eleven Strategies to Feel Happier Today, FREE DOWNLOAD: https://bit.ly/3SwljsV Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

If you grew up neglected or abandoned, it's very likely you developed an attachment wound, and this can drive you into relationships with people who aren’t available, aren’t good to you, and aren't necessarily someone you even LIKE! One way that people with Childhood PTSD are affected by this is through long-distance relationships that don't fulfill their need for companionship and love. My letter today is from a woman whose attachment wounds drove her to rush into relationships with someone she doesn't know well; her fear of being alone keeps her clinging to someone far away who is rarely interested in her. Hear my advice to stop the pattern and change her life. Is Past Trauma Affecting Your Dating Life? Take the QUIZ: https://bit.ly/3EUy8Yh Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

Being STUCK means you know you’re in a bad place, but you don’t have the power to do anything about it. Most people get stuck sometimes, but those who were abused or neglected in childhood have extra susceptibility to staying in bad jobs and harmful relationships. It may be driven by financial insecurity, health problems, shame, fear of being alone, low self-esteem, or the freeze response. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who KNOWS she's in a bad situation but struggles to take action and change her life. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: LEARN MORE: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

The long-term effects of trauma on virtually every aspect of health has been well known for more than 20 years. But still, few clinical professionals understand the broad effects of trauma or which treatments have been shown to be effective. The result includes lack of appropriate treatment, missed diagnoses, innaccurate diagnoses, and shaming of people with a clear pattern of symptoms by clinicians see only their own assumptions about their patients. I provide tools to help educate your doctor so that you can be understood and receive appropriate care. 12 Things I Wish My Doctor Understood About CPTSD: FREE DOWNLOAD: https://bit.ly/3YKXcs8 Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

Many of us who grew up in dysfunctional families struggle to recognize or create boundaries that work. You may be fed up with people who ignore your stated boundaries, or you fear setting any boundaries at all, fearing people will find you controlling, and avoid you. In this "best of" compilation I teach about what a boundary is, how bounadaries can be confused with controlling others, or avoiding discomfort, and why setting healthy boundaries sets you free to enjoy your relationships. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

When you date a Love Addict, YOU become their drug. At first they can make you feel like the most special, beautiful person, and all the pain and loneliness in your life was for a reason, because NOW, finally, you real true love has come along. Love addicts LOVE the feeling of being that for you. But they can't sustain it, and that's why dating them is such a roller coaster of highs when they love you, and lows when they totally disappear. The horrible thing about love addiction is that is spreads -- now YOU are the one who can't think of anything else. My letter today is from a woman whose life is now falling apart because she's hooked on a love addict. 10 Things Romantic Manipulators Say. FREE Download: https://bit.ly/3ZcUnkm Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]