The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle

Learning to love a partner is a huge and happy accomplishment for those of us who lived through abuse and neglect in childhood. Trauma wounds don't end in childhood; early abuse and neglect can leave us with trauma-driven behaviors that re-traumatize us and prevent healing. It can take time to release old patterns and change your life. In this video I respond to a woman with a harsh past who now struggles to find peace in her relationship, even though she is loved and supportive. Ten Signs Your Trauma Is Healing: https://bit.ly/3raZghI Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

If you had childhood trauma and you’re still relying on conventional approaches to heal, you may still be suffering with symptoms and losing hope that healing can happen. Talking about your traumatic experiences may NOT be the best way to heal from what happened to you in childhood. In fact it can activate neural circuits related to the *stress response* – that make it harder to think, harder to focus and next to impossible to process your emotions! But there's a better way. In this video I talk about 30 years of research that shows that writing about traumatic experiences has powerful healing effects. I highlight the recent podcast from Andrew Huberman @hubermanlab, summarizing the work of Dr. James Pennebaker (and subsequent peer-reviewed studies based on his work). Next Up: Learn My Daily Practice Techniques here: http://bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice You can listen to the @hubermanlab post "A Science Supported Journaling Protocol to Improve Mental & Physical Health" here: https://youtu.be/wAZn9dF3XTo?si=07-48lub-y-V6iE8 You can learn about Dr. Pennebaker and his work here: https://bit.ly/47CZ7ng Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

Some people can't focus on anyone but themselves. But others can't focus on themselves and instead become entirely focused on another person's problems -- their feelings, their shortcomings, and how unhappy they make you. This is codependency -- when you lose perspective on your own life and your own needs, and "implant" your will into someone else. Codependents are hooked on the belief that if the other person would only change, they would be happy. instead, they end up tired, resentful and isolated. In this four-video "Best of the Fairy" compilation, I share tips for how to recognize codependent tendencies in yourself and others, and what to do to heal. Signs You''re in a Codependent Relationship: https://bit.ly/3pwt5c6 Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

A true friend is someone who cares about you, and is interested in you, and supports what is best for you. They don’t get to tell you what to do, they don’t get to mercilessly criticize you, and they don’t get to use you as an emotional dumping ground and demand that you keep listening. If you have CPTSD, you may find you’re often on the receiving end of that, and you think you’re obliged to be support people who are doing things that morally abhorrent to you. But this is NOT what friendship is. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman whose problem friend demands that she keep listening -- and that she not "judge" her terrible behavior. Difficult People in Your Life? Try These NINJA BOUNDARIES: https://bit.ly/3YCnpZJ Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

If you grew up without the attention and love of good parents, you may find yourself with symptoms of Complex-PTSD. One of the worst symptoms is an attraction to people who can’t give you attention or love. You see the red flags, but you become attached anyway. Until you've healed that attachment wound, you may find yourself getting your heart broken again and again. In this video I respond to a letter from a man who found out early in a dating relationship that his partner was not available, but couldn't stop attaching. Heal trauma-driven patterns and find real love at last. DATING & RELATIONSHIPS COURSE http://bit.ly/3IBbrv7 Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

If you’re living with trauma-related symptoms from abuse and neglect in childhood, you’ve had to work extra hard for things in life that come more easily to other people. Complex PTSD (CPTSD) is a type of PTSD that comes from chronic, intense stress, usually (but not always) in childhood. You might already know you have it, and you might be working hard to heal it. But if you’re like many people with CPTSD, your healing feels stuck, and you're afraid you your life may never get better. In this video I lay out ten steps you can take to accelerate your healing. Everything gets better when you find an approach to healing that works for you! Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

For people who grew up with abuse and neglect – it’s a HUGE DAY when you finally break free of that family of origin. You actually have a barrier up against their ability to keep hurting you. You're safe, and only way they can get into your life again is when you CHOOSE to connect with them. But there’s this one huge complication, and it’s when there are other family members – especially minor children – who are still stuck in that house, and still going through what YOU used to go through. In this video I respond to a letter from a young woman who's torn between getting her own life stable, and saving her younger siblings from trauma. Here's My FREE WORKSHEET for Planning Your Life Priorities: https://bit.ly/3J3kYcH Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

When you weren’t loved properly as a child, it’s very, very common to become romantically involved in “complicated” relationships – where YOU’RE longing for something monogamous and committed and THEY’RE just jerking you around. With parents who were self-centered or who put you down, it’s no wonder you developed the ability to see great potential in people who are basically broken. The brutal truth is that every day you spend pouring your energy and your love into someone who can’t really DO a relationship with you, you’re blocking the possibility of real love coming into your life. How can you tell if someone is worth “working with” through tough times, and when you’re wasting your time? In this video I respond to a letter from a woman whose boyfriend is dragging her along through a lingering attachment to his ex. DATING RED FLAGS: Get My FREE Download Here: https://bit.ly/4203ozk Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

Bad things happen in everyone's life. For some of us, a history of abuse and neglect in childhood produces common, trauma-driven symptoms that hold us back. Even if you've endured trauma and tragedy, it's possible to heal the past, calm the symptoms and build the happy, functional, love-filled life you deserve. In this "best of" compilation, I teach about practical steps you can take to start solving problems and feeling happier today. Eleven Strategies to Feel Happier Today, FREE DOWNLOAD: https://bit.ly/3SwljsV Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

If you grew up neglected or abandoned, it's very likely you developed an attachment wound, and this can drive you into relationships with people who aren’t available, aren’t good to you, and aren't necessarily someone you even LIKE! One way that people with Childhood PTSD are affected by this is through long-distance relationships that don't fulfill their need for companionship and love. My letter today is from a woman whose attachment wounds drove her to rush into relationships with someone she doesn't know well; her fear of being alone keeps her clinging to someone far away who is rarely interested in her. Hear my advice to stop the pattern and change her life. Is Past Trauma Affecting Your Dating Life? Take the QUIZ: https://bit.ly/3EUy8Yh Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

Being STUCK means you know you’re in a bad place, but you don’t have the power to do anything about it. Most people get stuck sometimes, but those who were abused or neglected in childhood have extra susceptibility to staying in bad jobs and harmful relationships. It may be driven by financial insecurity, health problems, shame, fear of being alone, low self-esteem, or the freeze response. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who KNOWS she's in a bad situation but struggles to take action and change her life. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: LEARN MORE: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

The long-term effects of trauma on virtually every aspect of health has been well known for more than 20 years. But still, few clinical professionals understand the broad effects of trauma or which treatments have been shown to be effective. The result includes lack of appropriate treatment, missed diagnoses, innaccurate diagnoses, and shaming of people with a clear pattern of symptoms by clinicians see only their own assumptions about their patients. I provide tools to help educate your doctor so that you can be understood and receive appropriate care. 12 Things I Wish My Doctor Understood About CPTSD: FREE DOWNLOAD: https://bit.ly/3YKXcs8 Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

Many of us who grew up in dysfunctional families struggle to recognize or create boundaries that work. You may be fed up with people who ignore your stated boundaries, or you fear setting any boundaries at all, fearing people will find you controlling, and avoid you. In this "best of" compilation I teach about what a boundary is, how bounadaries can be confused with controlling others, or avoiding discomfort, and why setting healthy boundaries sets you free to enjoy your relationships. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

When you date a Love Addict, YOU become their drug. At first they can make you feel like the most special, beautiful person, and all the pain and loneliness in your life was for a reason, because NOW, finally, you real true love has come along. Love addicts LOVE the feeling of being that for you. But they can't sustain it, and that's why dating them is such a roller coaster of highs when they love you, and lows when they totally disappear. The horrible thing about love addiction is that is spreads -- now YOU are the one who can't think of anything else. My letter today is from a woman whose life is now falling apart because she's hooked on a love addict. 10 Things Romantic Manipulators Say. FREE Download: https://bit.ly/3ZcUnkm Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

When your parents didn’t love you properly, the feeling of falling in love is often followed by a dramatic lapse into insecurity. When they pull away it has a spooky, deep emotional power for you. And it’s very easy to confuse that dark feeling with something it most definitely is NOT... LOVE. In fact, people in a state of limerence often say they are "confused," though it's easy to see from the outside that the confusion is between the reality they WANT to see, and the disappointing TRUTH. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who senses that she may have fallen again into the dark water of limerence. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

Many people in your life really do want the best for you, but there are others who act as if you've done a terrible thing by working on your trauma. It's as if they want and need you to stay hurt and victimized, basically forever. They’re not always even conscious of what they’re doing, but you can sure feel it. They'll make criticisms disguised as "help": When you make positive changes, they warn you about trouble ahead, as if they just want to knock you down a peg. You DON'T need to be knocked down. It may be that there are people in your life (still) who just don't want you to heal. In this video I bring back a popular video from the past that guides you spotting these tendencies in family and friends, so you can stay strong and carry on with overcoming trauma. Heal Trauma in Just One Year? FREE Download: https://bit.ly/3JrPdvx Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

Childhood PTSD is, in essence, an injury to the ability to connect with other people. So it's no surprise that abuse and neglect in your childhood may have left you with a feeling that no matter what you do, you never quite belong in groups. In this "best of" compilation, I share videos that will help you understand that the feeling of being an outside is not a quirk of yours, or a failing. It's a feeling (and an experience) that is common for traumatized people, and with practice, it can be healed.   Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

People neglected as children sometimes spend their WHOLE life longing or love – chasing it, fighting for it, longing for it, and never having it, all because of this -- an attraction to unavailable people. This includes people who are married and can’t really be with you (but string you along), or people who flat out aren’t into you. Yet your wounds from childhood make you the PERFECT person to give all your energy, love and self-esteem to them, basically for free. In this video I respond to a woman who is trapped in a painful affair with a married man, who seeks help ending it, and preventing this from ever happening again. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

Ever get the feeling you're just an accessory for a friend who is romantically obsessed? They WANT to hang out with you, and they love to tell you about the emotional rollercoaster of their latest romance. But what do you do when you realize they don't really see you or hear you or care about you. To them, you’re an instrument for them, to get what they want. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who has watched her friend cycle through obsession after obsession -- and who wants to get out.   Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

There are times in your life when so many bad things happen at once, that you go into what I call a "trauma storm." The shock to your nervous system of those traumatic events is so overwhelming, that you lose your normal structures and habits that allow you get through hard times, and instead you just kind of slip into crisis mode: You can’t function, your daily routine is all over the place, your mental stability is in jeopardy, and you're emotional, exhausted, and in danger of pushing away the people who normally would be your support system. You can't always control the traumatic events taking place, but you can take steps to help your nervous system stay balanced during hard times. In this video I list simple steps you can take to stop the storm so instead of A breakdown, you can face the hardship, care for yourself and take constructive actions. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

When you're first dating someone, it can be easy ONLY to see what you love about them. If you grew up with abuse or neglect, you may have a blind spot where obvious signs of trouble are waving in your face, and the cost to your happiness can be devastating. In this "best of" compilation I include videos about some of the WORST partners out there -- and why we choose them, and why it's SO hard to leave. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

The need for love and security is SO strong that some people will do *anything* to feel like they’re in a relationship. If you attach to people you know are unavailable, and then structure your life around that person -- your hopes and plans -- hoping to preserve the feeling that they really are THE ONE, it's important you watch this video. I respond to a letter from a woman who hopes that by loving someone unconditionally, she can win their love in return. Signs You are in a Codependent Relationship. FREE Download: https://bit.ly/3CYQaYa Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

It’s normal for people who were traumatized as children to be drawn to people who are trouble. Maybe feel foggy when you meet someone you feel attracted to, or you rush into relationships, and you ignore signs that getting together with this person is a really bad idea. It's normal for people with CPTSD to feel confused when they are confronted with evidence that someone would be bad for you; it's as if your brain shuts down and then you make the destructive decision to go forward anyway. The illusion is that this string of unfortunate events just HAPPENED to you (you can't see that you chose it). And when enough trauma and enough heartbreak has happened, the need for that next relationship to WORK OUT becomes so great, it’s like an addiction. It’ll drive you toward your worst thinking, and right into that same unhappiness. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who just might be a love addict. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

If you seek help for the symptoms of Complex CPTSD, you will generally be steered toward talk therapy, and often, medication. But these two standard modes of treatment may not be will targeted for trauma symptoms. In my case, they made me worse, not better. In this video I share an excerpt from one of my most popular videos, "Why I Quit Therapy," to explain what it was like for me, the reasons we NOW know therapy doesn't work for many traumatized people, and what DOES work. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

 If your parents harmed you when you were small, you may have developed a coping mechanism that allowed you to accept mistreatment; you learned to just "make it OK" in your mind. But when this gets carried into adulthood, it becomes a maladaptation I call Crapfit. In this "best of" compilation, I share lessons and letters from people with CPTSD who are fitting themselves to horrible partners, jobs and friendships. Hear my advice for setting new and higher standards yourself, and stopping the CRAPFIT. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

Getting distance from your family of origin can be a powerful way to accelerate your healing from past trauma. You may be clear you want it to be permanent. But if you're feeling guilty and unsure if you should do it, there's a way to take space for as long as you need -- without drama, without debate, and without committing to a permanent boundary. You get to decide, one day, or one year at a time. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who suspects she needs to end contact with her mother, but the guilt she feels is blocking her clarity. Difficult People in Your Life? Try These NINJA BOUNDARIES : https://bit.ly/3YCnpZJ Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

People neglected and abused in childhood are prone to fantasize about the perfect person and perfect love. But this habit can separate you from the chance to have a real relationship with someone who loves you. The unmet needs of your childhood can't be met by a partner, and your hunger for validation and unconditional love can be a turnoff in an early dating relationship. In this video I respond to a man who has been single for more than a decade since his divorce, and is close to giving upon his lifelong hope of finding true intimacy. Heal Trauma in Just One Year? Free Download: https://bit.ly/3JrPdvx Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

It's as if there is a veil of unconsciousness that prevents us from remembering or telling the truth about sexual abuse -- or acting to defend abused children when we know abuse is happening. In this video, I talk about the first time I ever lied about being abused. For many people, covering for abusers (so we don't get abandoned, attacked, fired or cancelled) becomes so habitual we are desensitized to it. We stay silent, and say only what you're supposed to say. This is one reason why the extent of sexual abuse in industries and institutions such as the Catholic Church is STILL emerging -- and why child sex trafficking has proliferated in recent years. Our culture struggles to face this, because it's painful and sometimes dangerous to speak up. It's as if we want to stay asleep: Is this why there is controversy about the film "Sound of Freedom, which seeks to reawaken us about horrors -- the scope and explosive growth -- of child trafficking? (Trafficking, btw, is a euphemism for enslavement for the purpose of pimping out children for sex with adults). What can explain the number of people attacking this film, and attempting to block you from seeing it? Why do people use this issue to vilify political enemies? We MUST make it our common purpose to fight sexual abuse and trafficking in all its forms. It's never easy to face terrible truths, but it begins with healing our own shame and trauma.

If your parents made it a problem that you needed their love and attention, you may have have internalized the belief that there's something wrong and dirty and shameful about you and your feelings. In families where the expectation of loyalty and honesty only created horrible arguments, you may have trained yourself not to need loyalty and honesty -- not to expect much -- and to never admit that you long for someone to love you and commit to you. What tends to happen with these damaged expectations is that you DON'T receive love and commitment in your adult relationships. This is the tragedy of what our culture calls "The Cool Girl." In this "best of" compilation I share a series of excerpts from videos where I teach the path to recovery for women and men who are overcoming childhood trauma, and learning to expect and recognize the full and committed love and partnership. How To Prepare For a Great Relationship, Free DOWNLOAD: https://bit.ly/43SH8aV Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

When you didn’t get cared for properly when you were little, it’s hard to READ other people – to detect the difference between a friend and someone merely being friendly. So many of us NEED a friend so badly, there’s pressure on the relationship from the beginning to believe it will work. And when it doesn’t, it can feel devastating. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman whose new friend seems more interested in using her as a stepping stone to more friends; now our letter writer feels tricked and left out. Hear my advice for detecting when friends are using you, and what to do when things start getting weird. How to Be a Better Friend: FREE DOWNLOAD: https://bit.ly/3WS0475 Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

Fawning is when you make yourself small, or act "nice" and like you're not hurt, as a way to cope with mistreatment. It's a fantasy that by being selfless, kind and helpful, you can make bad people be kind to you. It’s a common pattern for traumatized people that can keep old trauma wounds active, and keep you from healing. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who keeps finding herself with hurtful, hateful people, and is ready to change her pattern. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course. ENROLL NOW: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

Abuse and neglect in childhood may seem like the worst thing that's happened to you. But many people with CPTSD multiply the damage with a pattern of behaviors that keeps the trauma alive. Thankfully, healing is possible. Here's a list of self-defeating behaviors that can re-traumatize you -- followed by a description of the joy and ease possible when you heal the pattern. Ten Signs You Trauma is Healing, FREE DOWNLOAD: https://bit.ly/3raZghI Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

If you grew up with trauma, you are likely to have close relationships with both CONTROLLING people and OUT-OF-CONTROL people. Both cause problems, and both can drive you to have a overly-strong need to control relationships and situations (which drives people away). In this "best of" compilation, I highlight some of the ways that people with CPTSD develop control issues -- often without even knowing it -- and how you can learn to relax your grip on others' behaviors, and focus more fully on healing your own life. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

People whose partners have CPTSD often become confused about the meaning of "support." When should you tolerate yelling, ghosting, and intensive criticism, and when is this just too much? In this video I respond to a letter from a man who is trying earnestly to support his partner, whose behavior has become emotionally abusive. How To Prepare For a Great Relationship, FREE DOWNLOAD: https://bit.ly/43SH8aV   Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

If you grew up with an abusive or neglectful parent – and especially if you were the oldest child -- you may have learned to dance around and do everything in your power to make Mom stop being sad. You may have erased your feelings and needs and instead poured ALL YOUR ENERGY into the parent. People who have done this often have a hard time getting perspective on it, and realizing that no parent should be draining the life out of a child just so THEY can feel OK. The parent’s needs are never met through this, but worse, the child completely loses any sense of self. And having no sense of self is bound to generate unhealthy adult relationships that continue the cycle. How can you break out and become your real self? How to Be a Better Friend, Free Download: https://bit.ly/3WS0475 Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

Too many people with Childhood PTSD are held back by trauma symptoms that damage their ability to envision their future, form positive work relationships, and maintain the focus and physical energy needed to get ahead. But healing from your trauma symptoms frees you, and allows you to use the determination and inner resourcefulness common in people who were. abused and neglected as children. In this "best of" compilation, of my videos on the subject of work, I teach the most important symptoms to heal, and share stories from individuals who were challenged on the job by the wounds of their past, and learned to overcome them. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]  

Every day, I read the comments and questions of hundreds of viewers on my YouTube channel. Sometimes the questions make me angry. Sometimes I want to give the person a hug! In this video I respond to some of the most challenging and interesting questions about Childhood PTSD and how we heal, one by one. FREE Download: "Ten Signs Your Trauma Is Healing" https://bit.ly/3raZghI Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]    

It’s a horrible feeling when you THINK someone is interested in you and flirted with you, and then you respond in what you THINK is the same vibe – and THEY FREAK OUT. People who were emotionally neglected as kids have a hard time reading other people’s feelings and intentions as it is. But when limerence is at play (the obsessive, addictive form of love for someone you can’t actually have) it can make it almost impossible to know if someone is interested in your, or if you’re weirding them out by confessing your love. Do you ever get completely torn up inside with this kind of confusion? In this video I answer a letter from a woman who THOUGHT a coworker returned her strong attraction. Find out what happened when you told him how she felt, and hear my advice to heal her perception and to move forward with confidence. Is Past Trauma Affecting Your Dating Life? Take the QUIZ: https://bit.ly/3EUy8Yh Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

Codependency sucks the life out the person who can't help but try to extract their own happiness by changing another person. If you believe you'd be happy IF your partner (or relative) would do what you believe is best, you need to watch this video. Are YOU in a Codependent Relationship? Free Download: https://bit.ly/3pwt5c6 Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

So much content on trauma is about WHAT HAPPENED. It's true that acknowledging the past is important, but real healing happens when you can notice your CPTSD SYMPTOMS and use strategies to calm your trauma reactions and make positive changes in your life. In this "best of" compilation I share my top videos on how you can stop the drama and transform you life after trauma. Heal Trauma in Just One Year? Download pdf : https://bit.ly/3JrPdvx Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

Overfunctioning is a trauma reaction where a person does TOO much – too much work, too much managing, too much trying to compensate for other people being unsafe, unloving and unreliable. It’s a survival mechanism that can be destructive to your health and your relationships. And, people end up resenting overfunctioners – especially if they are underfunctioners! Not having a hundred things to do can make an overfunctioner feel anxious, so no matter how much we swear we’re going to slow down soon, we often don’t. But is it really so bad to work harder than most other people? Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

When you were never loved enough in the first place -- and then you witness someone else getting really, really loved – it can tear down all the defenses you’ve built up in order to cope with the painful absence of love in your life. If you have Childhood PTSD, you may be hiding from that pain because if you were to actually face the losses -- the breakups, the bad choices, feelings of shame or guilt -- you fear it would be unbearable. And so out of protection you stay in denial. But then something happens where you just CAN’T hide from it anymore. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who can't help feeling miserable at someone else's wedding. How To Prepare For a Great Relationship. Download PDF - https://bit.ly/43SH8aV Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

If you’re not making progress healing from the effects of a traumatic childhood, it’s very likely, that whatever you were told to do is not working for you.There's an old way the world sees trauma and treatment, and there’s an emerging, research-based approach.In this video I talk about that emerging approach, and how I’ve come to understand and work with people who are progressing through five distinct phases of trauma healing. In this video you'll learn what they are, and be able to identify where YOU are in the process. Heal Trauma in Just One Year? Free Download: https://bit.ly/3JrPdvx Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

If you were neglected, manipulated, or gaslighted as a child you may still be struggling to be sure if a hurtful situation is a) someone mistreating you or b) your imagination. Until you heal trauma-driven wounds to your perception, you may be prone to indecision and self-doubt. In this "best of" compilation of my videos on CPTSD and Damaged Perception, I teach how the problem manifests, and how to gradually heal and affirm your perception so you can make better choices and move forward with confidence. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

There’s a deep need in every one of us to have a parent who deeply loves us. Where THEY are, is where we derive the feeling of HOME. And sometimes, as we grow up and go out on our own, when times get rough - the love of that parent and the existence of that place, provides an anchor - a shelter where we can return for comfort and strength.So many of us with Childhood suffer with a vague sense of emotional homelessness, either because we lost that parent too soon, or we never had them in the first place. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

If you grew up emotionally neglected, you may have learned to ignore and override clear information that someone is mistreating you. At first you feel hurt and angry when they do it; you try to set a boundary and pull away. But soon, this other part of you starts making you think that it’s YOU who’s the bad one -- that you’re just expecting too much, or you’re being too unforgiving, or you're just making trouble where there isn’t any trouble. THAT is how abandonment wound can distort your thinking and trap you in terrible situations. You CAN heal. In this video I respond to a letter from a single mother in a long-term dating relationship with a man who is dismissive and occasionally cruel. Hear my advice on how to STOP going back to him, and restart her life. How To Prepare For a Great Relationship, DOWNLOAD PDF: https://bit.ly/43SH8aV Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]

*** Limerent obsession with someone you can't have can become more than harmless little fantasy -- especially if they give you signals that there's HOPE. Limerence is basically an addictive tendency to POUR your life’s energy into the IDEA of a relationship that doesn’t really exist (or not like you think it does). When you know in your bones someone’s not into you you might TRY to face reality and move on, but what can happen is what I call a Limerent FLIP. And that flip can keep you trapped, in love with something that doesn’t exist, and draining any kind of happy future right out of your life. So how can you tell if there’s actually hope, or if you’re FLIPPING? Heal trauma-driven patterns and find real love at last: http://bit.ly/3IBbrv7  *** Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeWEnroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcfSend your questions & comments to: [email protected]

Rather than creating a happy life, people with trauma from childhood wait for the ideal relationship to come along and MAKE them happy. You may catch yourself believing that if you could JUST find the right person, or say the right thing, everything would work in your life. But when your identity isn't developed and you don't know how to be happy, your life is full of holes. This is when people with CPTSD may try to use "emotional spackle," filling in the holes by ignoring red flags and opening their hearts as IF the other person is wonderful and reciprocates their feelings. But imagining there is love where there is no love brings grave disappointment. How can you see clearly, and reserve your heart until the time -- and the person -- is right? How to Tell if Someone is Partner Material? Free Download: https://bit.ly/3YBwKkj *** Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeWEnroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcfSend your questions & comments to: [email protected]

Kids are supposed to learn how to 'be" in the world from their parents. If you were ignored, you had to figure things out by yourself using a child's logic. If you tend to go into a stress response when you try to communicate (especially around your emotions and your boundaries), it could be a sign that you weren't listened to as a child. In this video I lay out several signs that are common in adults with CPTSD, and specifically, who weren't listened to when they were small. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I  Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeWEnroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcfSend your questions & comments to: [email protected]

Magical thinking is a symptom of trauma. It helped you when you were small to imagine a life that was safe and welcoming for you. But if the habit of distorted thinking around romantic relationships continues into adulthood, you may find that it's impossible to form a real, lasting, mutually committed relationship. In this "best of" compilation, I share some of my most popular videos where I teach how to spot your own magical thinking patterns, and how to get real and communicate clearly and perceive accurately WHAT another person feels for you, what they intend, and whether dating them makes sense. If you have CPTSD, this video could save you years of heartbreak and loneliness. Heal trauma-driven patterns and find real love at last:  Learn More about my Dating Course http://bit.ly/3IBbrv7 Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: [email protected]