The Art of Charm

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Why do we steer away from more spiritual topics on this podcast? Is Jordan on the level? Mr. Mumbles from Fan Mail Friday 91 gets some advice from -- of all people -- Jordan's mom! You don't have to rely on the bar scene to be social -- you can banter with others in plenty of other situations. Adopting idiosyncrasies of high performers won't necessarily make you a high performer. Quick shoutouts to Rachel Whitney on the acting grind in Hollywood and Phil, who lost 140 pounds and shook off depression -- and credits his AoC experience for galvanizing these positive changes! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/fmf95/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Paul Bloom (@paulbloomatyale) is a developmental psychologist and author who returns to discuss his newly published book Against Empathy: The Case for Rational Compassion. The Cheat Sheet: How do you define empathy -- and do you believe it's a crucial component to "good" behavior? Learn why empathy actually does more harm than good by making us focus on smaller problems that affect one person over solving the bigger, intangible ones that can affect an entire population. How does empathy direct us to help in fundamentally biased ways? Why did we evolve empathy in the first place? Understand the differences between empathy, sympathy, and compassion (and why it matters in our decisions). And so much more... Gentleman's Box is a men's subscription service that provides men around the world with four to six men's style and grooming essentials in a monthly box. Use promo code "CHARM" at checkout to save $5 off any subscription option at Gentleman's Box here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/paul-bloom-against-empathy-episode-578/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Julian Guthrie (@JulianGuthrie) is an award-winning journalist and bestselling author. She joins us to discuss her new book How to Make a Spaceship: A Band of Renegades, an Epic Race, and the Birth of Private Spaceflight. The Cheat Sheet: How Julian Guthrie gets in touch with hard-to-reach people. The types of habits and backgrounds shared by the movers and shakers of the aerospace industry -- itself a magnet for high achievers. How incentive competitions can spark an industry or even jumpstart a lagging field -- and why. Why it's crucial to be relentless in the pursuit of your vision and able to convey the sincerity of your passion. How to stay focused on the task at hand in the face of consistent rejection. And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/julian-guthrie-make-spaceship-episode-577/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Minisode Monday, AppSumo and OkDork's Noah Kagan rejoins us to talk about putting simple systems in place to boost productivity. The good news: it's not as complicated as you may think. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: What are the two things that keep most people from being productive? What environment best lends itself to your productivity? Do you feel better when you're creating or consuming? Why is email such a poor way to maintain productivity -- and what might serve you better? How do you know when to stop dismissing something that's worth your time? And lots more... To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he reads everything)! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Listen to The Art of Charm, The Adam Corolla Show, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-33-productivity-tricks-with-noah-kagan/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: The path to entrepreneurship is seldom taken alone. Why does AoC advertise for brands you don't hear about on other podcasts? Our friend Karen "BattleAxe" Baetzel tells us how some unfortunate aviator call signs come to be (and tells Jordan what his might be). Why is the real joke always in the comments? Is your relationship truly worthy of the "it's complicated" label? Quick shoutouts to Darya Rose (our most recent guest) and Clotilde Dusoulier -- foodie bloggers currently enjoying AoC -- and Sunrise Emmanuel! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-94-bangers-and-bottlenecks/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Darya Rose (@summertomato) is a neuroscience Ph.D and author of Foodist: Using Real Food and Real Science to Lose Weight Without Dieting. On this episode, we talk about the psychology behind forming habits and what we can do to make lifestyle changes that last. The Cheat Sheet: If you're one of three American adults who qualifies as obese, you've probably tried dieting. Has it worked? What's the biggest mistake people make when trying to get healthy, lose weight, or make some other positive lifestyle changes? Why traditional willpower-based habits like dieting don't work. How to use your own psychology against yourself to shed old bad habits and make new good habits stick. What's the key difference between success and failure? And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/darya-rose-foodist-episode-576/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tony Hawk (@tonyhawk) is a vertical skateboarding legend who enjoys household name status these days, but as we learn in discussing his book How Did I Get Here?: The Ascent of an Unlikely CEO, the journey's been far from easy. The Cheat Sheet: Why taking risks is important for the sake of progress. How personal success can be gauged independently of financial success. Why your personal brand needs to be genuine and something you're willing to protect. Why it's important to learn everything about your craft -- even if you've "got a guy who handles that." What The Tony Hawk Foundation does for underserved communities. And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/tony-hawk-how-did-i-get-here-episode-575/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're our own worst critics. In this Minisode Monday, the challenge is to question the validity of the thoughts we have about ourselves. The Cheat Sheet: You're a heck of a lot more than just your thoughts -- which is a good thing, considering we all harbor negative thoughts about ourselves. Our thoughts determine our feelings, which in turn determine our actions, which later define our beliefs. Our thought patterns are largely formed out of habits; our belief processes get stronger as we get older -- regardless of how untrue these thoughts may be. The problem isn't the thoughts themselves; it's the fact that we take these thoughts as truth without questioning them just because they're ours. It's a cycle. Challenge these thoughts! If they're not moving you forward, do something about it. It's easier said than done, but questioning the validity of these thoughts is a good place to start. Is the risk of failure really impossibly high? Are you really not smart enough? Are you really so unattractive that you're completely unlovable? Who might disagree with these assessments, and why might they disagree? To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he reads everything)! Listen to The Art of Charm, Beyond the Darkness, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-32-do-you-believe-you/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right! Your company just got bought and your future there is uncertain. Is this week's holiday party an ideal networking event with the new overlords? The best way to get depressed and down on ourselves is to assume that we can read other people's minds. Negative feedback needs to be taken in balance. (If we took our negative feedback at The Art of Charm too much to heart, we wouldn't have two shows under our belts -- let alone 574 full episodes, 31 Minisode Mondays, 93 Fan Mail Fridays, and regular bonuses along the way.) You've followed our advice for attracting new people into your life (particularly Kira Asatryan's Stop Being Lonely tips from episode 504). But what happens when you seem to attract particularly needy people? In our recent interview with returning guest Philip McKernan, Jordan got into the preparation required to make a good show. When it comes to life, are you fully preparing for your show? Q: How many shrinks does it take to change a light bulb? A: The light bulb has to want to change. A good friend making poor decisions may be a lot like that light bulb -- he or she may not even want your good advice. Quick shoutouts to Anna in Norway and Chris Rudolph on the road that intersected with AJ and Johnny! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fabric is to enjoy the comfort of MeUndies; you just need to wear them -- support this show (and yourself) with MeUndies here for 20% off! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-93-holiday-party-networking/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sally Hogshead (@SallyHogshead) tells us how we can make anything fascinating in as little as one hour by applying the principles of her book Fascinate: How to Make Your Brand Impossible to Resist. The Cheat Sheet: Are you pistachio or vanilla? Different is better than better -- learn why standing out and knowing how to fascinate is your greatest competitive advantage. Neurologically, the process of fascination is similar to the infatuation of falling in love. Discover how to find your particular strengths and use them for maximum leverage -- not just in business, but in life. Take the fascination test to identify what makes you different -- so you can do more of what you're already doing right and less of what detracts from your strengths. And so much more... Gentleman's Box is a men's subscription service that provides men around the world with four to six men's style and grooming essentials in a monthly box. Use promo code "CHARM" at checkout to save $5 off any subscription option at Gentleman's Box here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Looking for a new podcast (in addition to The Art of Charm rather than as a replacement, we hope)? Check out Mike Dillard’s Self Made Man here! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/sally-hogshead-how-to-fascinate-episode-574/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

General Stanley McChrystal (@StanMcChrystal) talks about more than 34 years of service in the US Army and his book Team of Teams: New Rules of Engagement for a Complex World. The Cheat Sheet: See leadership from a special forces perspective. Understand why flexibility and adaptability are the cure for an unpredictable landscape -- in contrast to a system that values strict adherence to rules that limit rather than guide best practices. Learn techniques for ways we can build flexibility in ourselves. Find out why relationships are the key to success of any organization -- military or otherwise. Discover how we can develop relationships and networks to improve our own organizations. And so much more... Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/general-stanley-mcchrystal-new-rules-engagement-episode-573/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This time around, 30-year military aviator and procedure specialist Karen "BattleAxe" Baetzel rejoins us to talk about respect and practical ways to avoid misunderstandings. The Cheat Sheet: Respect is an important foundation for avoiding misunderstandings. But what is it? To avoid misunderstandings, the military (across all branches) is careful to implement a common definition for certain words -- like respect. Karen "BattleAxe" Baetzel says, at its core, "respect is a take on what is right and what is wrong." Try to think back to a time when you inadvertently offended someone -- or when you were inadvertently offended -- by a perceived lack of respect during the interaction. It's possible the misunderstanding was the result of not sharing a common definition of respect. This is further complicated by the fact that respect can be a noun (abstract) and a verb (concrete). How do you define respect? Ask a friend how they define respect. Do your definitions match? If you want to avoid misunderstandings going forward, this is a good place to start. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he reads everything)! Listen to The Art of Charm, The Unmistakable Creative, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-31-respect-from-a-military-perspective/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: What do you do when you have resting grumpy face (you may know it by other names)? You could try the "smizing" exercise at The AoC Challenge -- but don't tell Matthew Kimberly. How do you woo potential employers in another country when you need a work visa sponsorship? What would Dan Ariely say about a life coach's motivation in trying to get you to become a life coach? A listener who spent time in the Air Force chimes in on Jordan's jet lag cures. Could voice lessons help you stop mumbling and low talking? Quick shoutouts to everyone in The Art of Charm Challenge Facebook page! We hit 5,000 people over the Thanksgiving weekend here, which is not something we ever expected. One of Jordan's favorite things to do each morning is check in with the group and watch what everyone is posting in there. It's for women as well as men (in fact, women seem to be in the majority at the moment) -- you should join us! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/fmf92/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) is a film and television writer, former host of The Lip TV, and long-time friend who turns the tables and interviews The Art of Charm's very own Jordan Harbinger (@TheArtofCharm) in this one. The Cheat Sheet: Learn more about The Art of Charm's origin story and its continuing evolution. What does it mean to "Huck Finn" your way through life? What's the cost of trimming the fat from an incredible success story? How can you tell the difference between people who offer genuine life lessons and so-called gurus who use the self-help platform as a pyramid scheme? The role of luck in business and relationships. And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. If you want the most amazing shave possible, take it from us: use a fresh DSC Executive blade and Dr. Carver's Shave Butter -- two reasons to join Dollar Shave Club here today! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/gabriel-mizrahi-jordan-harbinger-the-reverse-interview-episode-572 HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it!http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Susan Winter (@susan_e_winter) is an Oprah-featured relationship expert and author who rejoins AoC to show us how to handle a breakup in minutes instead of months with tips from her recent book Breakup Triage: The Cure for Heartache. [Photo by Linda Tanner] The Cheat Sheet: Love is an extreme sport: we all need to know how to recover after a crash. Why do breakups seem to happen more often around the holidays? Learn how to dismantle your ex's power to affect you and move on. Understand and dispel a number of relationship fallacies -- namely the Perfect Partner Myth, the Bad Partner Myth, and the One and Only Partner Myth. Regain mental clarity, emotional serenity, self-esteem, confidence, and wholeness with the help of Susan's Breakup Triage steps. And so much more... Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! Want three free rides up to $10 each? Download the free Lyft app today and enter promo code AOCPODCAST in the payment section! Hate grocery shopping but you love to cook? Blue Apron delivers recipes and farm fresh ingredients to you. As an Art of Charm listener, you get your first two meals free here! Looking for a new podcast (in addition to The Art of Charm rather than as a replacement, we hope)? Check out Mike Dillard's Self Made Man here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/susan-winter-breakup-triage-episode-571/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This time around, we explain why comparing yourself to others is a toxic habit -- and one you should make a promise to stop doing sooner than later. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: Comparing ourselves to others we somehow perceive to be more accomplished is something we all do from time to time. The problem: it's a never-ending battle we can't win. To some, comparing ourselves to others almost becomes an obsession as unhealthy as drinking, smoking, drugs, or complaining. It's even worse if we compare ourselves to friends, family, or others we consider close -- because we can't appreciate their success without feeling personal loss. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success author Dr. Carol Dweck went a little deeper with this phenomenon in our show with her here. When we're close to people we perceive as successful, we should appreciate the value they place in us -- because it's a two-way street and there are probably ways they compare themselves to us. Be grateful. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he reads everything)! Listen to The Art of Charm, The Unmistakable Creative, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-30-stop-comparing-others/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it!http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: How can you develop a stronger, more commanding voice? Some great listener advice for Actress in Distress from Fan Mail Friday #87 whose boyfriend is leery of the romantic scenes she inevitably has with other actors. How does Jordan take notes when he's reading books from future guests? (Three tools mentioned: Google Docs, Evernote, and Audible) Is there value in getting a degree for the experience and "educated person" status, even if you hope not to use the degree in your career? Can a relationship in doubt survive a little time apart while you each focus on your own priorities? A quick shoutout to Justo -- Susan Winter's porter over in NYC -- who I heard listens to the show. What a coincidence! The whole building thinks he's listening to Bachata, but he's listening to The Art of Charm. I love that. Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Looking for a new podcast (in addition to The Art of Charm rather than as a replacement, we hope)? Check out Mike Dillard's Self Made Man here! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-91-from-the-diaphragm/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Susan Cain (@susancain) of Quiet Revolution tells us why being introverted is not a disadvantage -- nor is it an excuse for shying away from social situations on one's own terms. The Cheat Sheet: How "quiet" came to be a pejorative term as the west urbanized and placed more value on personality (extroversion) over character (introversion). Better ways to understand our introverted friends (or selves). Action steps for introverts to become more social. Why being an introvert might actually be an advantage -- in social situations, negotiation, and creative pursuits. Why brainstorming doesn't work and is mostly a social exercise vs. a creative one. And so much more... If you want the most amazing shave possible, take it from us: use a fresh DSC Executive blade and Dr. Carver's Shave Butter -- two reasons to join Dollar Shave Club here today! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/susan-cain-quiet-revolution-episode-570/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mike Massimino (@Astro_Mike) is the astronaut who sent the first tweet from space and the first spacefarer we've had on this show! He's the author of Spaceman: An Astronaut's Unlikely Journey to Unlock the Secrets of the Universe. The Cheat Sheet: How is bedtime on a space shuttle mission a lot like a slumber party? Why assembling a team around you is crucial for success -- whether orbiting or staying on the surface of the planet. Why it's important to take small, deliberate steps in the right direction for the sake of your own happiness. How to stay focused on the task at hand in the face of disaster by thinking like an astronaut. Why even astronauts have imposter syndrome. And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/mike-massimino-spaceman-episode-569/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. In this Minisode Monday, Jeff Goins, author of The Art of Work: A Proven Path to Discovering What You Were Meant to Do, joins us to go beyond the overused (and essentially meaningless) "follow your passion" advice and help us find out what we're good at and how we can use it to be useful in the world in a fulfilling way. The Cheat Sheet: Following your passions or making use of the skills that come naturally might be great for finding hobbies or jobs to pay the bills -- but how can they direct you toward your life's calling? What do you love doing with your time? What do you think you're good at doing? What do you have that the world needs? The sweet spot: where passion, skill, and demand intersect to give you a purpose to pursue. Pick something that fits into this sweet spot and, for the next 30 days, see how pursuing it feels. If it remains something you love doing with your time, you think you're good at doing, and it addresses something the world needs, you may have just found your life's calling! To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he reads everything)! Listen to The Art of Charm, The Unmistakable Creative, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-29-what-do-you-do-with-your-life/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Is it possible your body's clock is determined at least as much by when you eat as by when you sleep? What are globetrotting Jordan's secrets for conquering (or at least not being completely TKO by) jet lag? (Swanwick blue light blocking glasses, soft earplugs, and a Sleep Master sleep mask are recommended in the mix.) A former boss who didn't listen to his employees and was never satisfied at work tells us how he turned over a new leaf thanks to the patience of those same employees. As a leader, how can you lead on those days when you just don't feel like it? Does having a significant other take away from the "selfish" lifestyle that seems to be calling your name? Being a "friendship snob" may have served you well early in life, but how can you make the change from a friendship scarcity mindset to a friendship abundance mindset when you're ready to reach out and start making connections? Quick shoutouts to Patrick in Ghana, and Ian Fisher, who's shipping off to Africa with the Peace Corps! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Want three free rides up to $10 each? Download the free Lyft app today and enter promo code AOCPODCAST in the payment section! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-90-leadership-blues-and-jet-lag-cures/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tom Wainwright (@t_wainwright) of The Economist shares the harrowing and sometimes grisly experiences he endured to write Narconomics: How to Run a Drug Cartel. The Cheat Sheet: Understand the parallels between the drug trade and regular businesses. Learn how ideas of economics and business apply to any entrepreneurial or business venture. Discover how drug cartels engage in corporate social responsibility, branding, and even PR campaigns. Hear why drug cartels franchise, regulate labor, branch out online, and diversify into legal (and ubiquitous) industries. Perhaps most intriguing of all: find out how an economist gets discovered wearing a GPS device to a meeting with a drug lord and lives to tell the tale! And so much more... If you want the most amazing shave possible, take it from us: use a fresh DSC Executive blade and Dr. Carver's Shave Butter -- two reasons to join Dollar Shave Club here today! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/tom-wainwright-narconomics-episode-568/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

John Ruhlin (@ruhlin) returns to share some of the best network-enriching tips from his book Giftology: The Art and Science of Using Gifts to Cut Through the Noise, Increase Referrals, and Strengthen Retention -- just in time for the holidays! The Cheat Sheet: How gifts and generosity make people at work want to help you. How to become an attention broker and stand out above the noise. How to get past a busy person's gatekeeper and turn them into an advocate. How you are wasting your "networking" dollars and time and what to invest in when it comes to relationships. Why your significant other hates your gifts and what to do to make sure she or he is blown away by your future gift selections. And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Working with other people? Struggling to keep everyone on the same page? We use Basecamp 3 at The Art of Charm, and it's the only platform you're going to need to organize all of your company's projects and communication in one place -- Art of Charm listeners can try Basecamp 3 for free here! Don't like to shop for clothes? Let Five Four Club be your personal fashion stylist. Complete a short style quiz and receive a monthly curated package at your doorstep! Go to fivefourclub.com and use promo code CHARM at sign-up to get 50% off your first package! Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fabric is to enjoy the comfort of MeUndies; you just need to wear them -- support this show (and yourself) with MeUndies here for 20% off! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/john-ruhlin-giftology-episode-567/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This time around, we talk about the importance of applying critical thinking to documentaries, news, and other media presentations to avoid being manipulated by their biases without having all the facts. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: Critical thinking is a valuable skill -- but how often do we put it to practice? Have you ever been influenced to behave in a certain way based on information presented to you in a documentary? We should keep in mind that even the most fair-minded documentary is biased to some degree. Facts are flavored to support a premise -- but can you pick up what the filmmaker's trying to feed you? Try watching a documentary this week and look for the holes in the argument. Try to discern the filmmaker's motivation behind making it. What's the angle? To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he reads everything)! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Listen to The Art of Charm, The Unmistakable Creative, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-28-media-bias-and-critical-thinking/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Unless Kimberly Seltzer or Duana Welch have time in their busy schedules to help us out, we acknowledge our advice to women sometimes misses the mark -- and we apologize. We have a listener set us straight on what we should have said to 'Soldier' on Fan Mail Friday #84. As Philip McKernan told us earlier this week, what you're good at doing doesn't always align with what you want to be doing. How do you find the time to assess if your talents are keeping you away from your purpose? What is the appropriate way to respond to questions you don't want to answer? Here's some support and advice to Fan Mail Friday #87's Monica from a listener who knows a thing or two about the liability of a toxic family that can't get over the mistakes you've made in the past even as you make incredible personal improvements. Think you've touched on something that ignites the pursuit of something more fulfilling than your current path? Explore the edges. Quick shoutouts to Emma B. in Thailand and her brother in New Zealand who discuss new episodes of AoC, and Christian Nixon from Trinidad and Tobago -- who sent me some ideas for taking better naps! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Don't like to shop for clothes? Let Five Four Club be your personal fashion stylist. Complete a short style quiz and receive a monthly curated package at your doorstep! Go to fivefourclub.com and use promo code CHARM at sign-up to get 50% off your first package! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-89-explore-the-edges/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Philip McKernan (@PhilipMcKernan) rejoins The Art of Charm to discuss his new film Give & Grow. It depicts a unique journey of uncovering people's hidden and dormant gifts that have the ability to affect others, and the potential to change the world. The Cheat Sheet: Do you keep busy as a way to avoid doing the important -- but often difficult -- things in life? What's the cost of not regularly giving ourselves permission for time to do nothing? Learn the importance of uncovering your personal gift, the cost of not uncovering it, and how to uncover it in the first place. What's the difference between a talent and a gift? What's the difference between finding your gift and following your passion? And so much more... Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fabric is to enjoy the comfort of MeUndies; you just need to wear them -- support this show (and yourself) with MeUndies here for 20% off! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/philip-mckernan-give-grow-episode-566/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Nathan Chan (@foundr) built multi-million dollar Foundr Magazine -- a digital magazine for aspiring and novice stage entrepreneurs -- in three-and-a-half years by networking and sheer hustle. He's here to share some of his best secrets, including how to establish connections with hard-to-reach people. The Cheat Sheet: The tools for getting in touch with hard-to-reach people. The importance of serving first and asking later. Why you should never get disheartened when you get "no" for an answer. Pitching in a way that makes it about your subject and not about you. Why offering to work for free isn't always as generous as you might think. And so much more... Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Working with other people? Struggling to keep everyone on the same page? We use Basecamp 3 at The Art of Charm, and it's the only platform you're going to need to organize all of your company's projects and communication in one place -- Art of Charm listeners can try Basecamp 3 for free here! If you want the most amazing shave possible, take it from us: use a fresh DSC Executive blade and Dr. Carver's Shave Butter -- two reasons to join Dollar Shave Club here today! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/nathan-chan-connecting-foundr-episode-565/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Minisode Monday, David Burkus, author of Under New Management: How Leading Organizations Are Upending Business as Usual, joins us to talk about a better alternative to the compliment sandwich -- that annoying phenomenon where "constructive criticism" (aka something negative) is given between two compliments as a way to cushion the blow. The Cheat Sheet: The recipe for a compliment sandwich: Hey! You're great! | something terrible about you or something you've done that you don't want to hear | But you're still really great! This is designed to cushion the blow of criticism by buffering bad news between two bits of good news. The problem: it's disingenuous and psychologically confusing. What is the person being served a compliment sandwich supposed do with the information presented? In an office setting, for instance, they may well wonder if they're being promoted or fired when the boss offers them this sandwich most unsavory. David recommends this alternative to the compliment sandwich (courtesy of Pixar): Plussing. In plussing, you can add positive or negative feedback, but you have to add a plus -- some piece of suggestion onto what you can do to solve the problem being addressed. David offers an example that will leave you with a better taste than any compliment sandwich ever could. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he reads everything)! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Listen to The Art of Charm, The Unmistakable Creative, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-27-stop-serving-compliment-sandwich/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Is it okay to spend a few hours each day doing things that don't better yourself? Should you directly approach a company that seems to have taken an interest in you, or should you wait for it to contact you first? Might the reserves be a good compromise for Fan Mail Friday's 85's Passion or Paycheck? How can you remain informed about the world's current events without influencing your happiness and relationships? Would you go home with someone who sleeps in a tent in their living room? When you look for things like unconscious bias in everything you don't like, you're sure to find it. Quick shoutouts to Vilde Sjøtvei from Norway -- she loves listening to the show out there and applying things to her dating and professional life -- and Adam Solano and his lady friend Sam; they're lovely people, and Jordan's really glad to have met them in Sydney! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-88-low-info-diet/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Marcus Luttrell and David "Rut" Rutherford of Team Never Quit (@Team_neverquit) join us to talk about how you don't have to be in the military to develop the discipline necessary to reach your goals. The Cheat Sheet: How did Marcus Luttrell summon the strength to survive the ordeal he describes in his book (and in the movie) Lone Survivor? What mental practices do Navy SEALs use to block distraction and stay focused on the task at hand? Being the elite of the elite, do Navy SEALs ever suffer from imposter syndrome? How do you keep traumatic events from completely defining you? Will we be the guys who don't screw up an interview with Marcus Luttrell? And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Don't like to shop for clothes? Let Five Four Club be your personal fashion stylist. Complete a short style quiz and receive a monthly curated package at your doorstep! Go to fivefourclub.com and use promo code CHARM at sign-up to get 50% off your first package! If you want the most amazing shave possible, take it from us: use a fresh DSC Executive blade and Dr. Carver's Shave Butter -- two reasons to join Dollar Shave Club here today! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/marcus-luttrell-david-rutherford-team-never-quit-episode-564/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Derek Coburn (@cadredc) returns to the show to share more of his un-networking secrets. He is a master networker and author of Networking Is Not Working: Stop Collecting Business Cards and Start Making Meaningful Connections. The Cheat Sheet: Why is indifference one of the largest obstacles in business today? Do you feel like the time you spend networking for new relationships might be better spent on enhancing existing relationships? Understand the power of unlocking dormant ties. Learn how to get the most out of networking events. Host networking events as a way to offer value to the people you already know and work with. And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Hate grocery shopping but you love to cook? Blue Apron delivers recipes and farm fresh ingredients to you. As an Art of Charm listener, you get your first two meals free here! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/derek-coburn-networking-is-still-not-working-episode-563/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oliver Burkeman, author of The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking, joins us for this Minisode Monday to talk about how the relentless pursuit of goals can figuratively -- and in some cases literally -- kill us. The Cheat Sheet: Popular beliefs about goal setting strategies may do more harm than good. The overpursuit of goals can, in extreme cases, kill. Case in point: the 1996 Mount Everest Disaster as detailed by D. Christopher Kayes in his book Destructive Goal Pursuit: The Mt. Everest Disaster. Why being completely identified with a goal (like a mountain climber or arctic explorer) can make us charge ahead when all signs are really telling us to turn back or regroup. As an alternative to this approach, Oliver urges us toward a looser, more flexible conception of goals -- like a frog on a lily pad. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he reads everything)! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Listen to The Art of Charm, The Unmistakable Creative, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-26-are-your-goals-killing-you/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #87! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend! Let's cut to it! In this episode: How do you balance your need to find the best career fit with being transparent to the people who believed in you from the get-go? Should you stick with your company that won't promote you unless you get an advanced degree -- even though you've been there for years and believe your experience should count for something? After years of substance abuse and hitting rock bottom, you're now on track to getting your life back. But what do you do when your negative family keeps judging you for mistakes of the past in spite of having a good relationship and excellent grades? How can you successfully manage your relationships at work without getting too involved in the gossip that prevails there? What do you do when you're an actor and your significant other freaks out at the prospect of your inevitable romantic scenes? A quick shoutout to Sheila and Hari Nadiminti -- a husband and wife team of doctors on the East Coast who listen to AoC on the regular! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Working with other people? Struggling to keep everyone on the same page? We use Basecamp 3 at The Art of Charm, and it's the only platform you're going to need to organize all of your company's projects and communication in one place -- Art of Charm listeners can try Basecamp 3 for free here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-87-mind-over-alma-mater/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Charm (@TheArtofCharm) has ways of making you talk! If you want to know how to keep a conversation going and avoid the awkward calm that sometimes besets even the most animated of chats, you'll want to dip into the toolbox for this one. [Image of awkward conversation captured by Kyle Taylor] The Cheat Sheet: The best conversationalists are the best listeners. What do you do when you run out of things to say in a conversation? Learn how to lessen the crushing pressure of being interesting by focusing on being interested. Understand how to stay tuned in to the conversation by picking up on often-ignored (but crucially important) nonverbal cues. Banish meaningless small talk and learn how to ask questions that build rapport and natural conversation. And so much more... Don't like to shop for clothes? Let Five Four Club be your personal fashion stylist. Complete a short style quiz and receive a monthly curated package at your doorstep! Go to fivefourclub.com and use promo code CHARM at sign-up to get 50% off your first package! Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/aoc-toolbox-how-to-keep-the-conversation-going-episode-562/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dan Ariely (@danariely) is a behavioral economist and bestselling author of Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions and the upcoming Payoff: The Hidden Logic That Shapes Our Motivations. The Cheat Sheet: How does the What the Hell effect keep us making bad decisions even when we know they're bad? Are we ever truly rational, unbiased, or impartial? What's the best time to appear before a judge? Transparency in our lives can often backfire. How motivation works (and doesn't work) and how we can use our own psychology against ourselves. And so much more... Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! Casper makes hybrid mattresses that combine premium latex foam with memory foam -- and won't charge you an arm and a leg for them. Get $50 toward any mattress purchase here by using promo code AOC! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/dan-ariely-payoff-episode-561/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Minisode Monday, recent guest Jenny Blake, author of Pivot: The Only Move That Matters Is Your Next One, helps us separate difficult decisions from difficult conversations and handle both of these to get unstuck and move forward. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: When you're at a pivot point, about to make a big career decision, what is your gut instinct telling you about what you really want? Most of us have a sense of what would help us get unstuck, but we're afraid to proceed when the time comes. Are we afraid of the decision itself, or the difficult conversations surrounding the decision once made? Here, Jenny gives us some level-headed advice about how to get unstuck and make sure we proceed with the decision we really want to make instead of the decision that will just help us avoid awkward conversations. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he reads everything)! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-25-get-unstuck-from-hard-decisions/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: At this point, if you aren't aware there's an election going on this November in the United States until a celebrity or your favorite podcast (ahem) tells you about it, maybe you should just sit this one out? Robert Cialdini's Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion was exactly that for Jordan growing up -- an influence. But was it also an inoculation? (Incidentally, you should check out our episode with Robert Cialdini here!) If you're always the one reaching out to friends and family, is it wrong to feel ticked off when they don't check up on you now that you've moved away? Related listening from the AoC toolbox: Moving to a New Town (Episode 400) A listener asks last week's Passion or Paycheck question: "Can't you do both?" When the dynamic in a casual relationship changes, it's easy to wonder what caused it. It's harder to identify yourself as the possible catalyst. If you're a no-nonsense type who never looks back, would a permanent social media purge be an effective B.S. cutter, or a shot in the foot? Related listening: Cal Newport | Deep Work (Episode 515) Is it fair to pursue new relationships when you're still pining for your ex? Quick shoutouts to Jacob Brady-Walker and Asha (perhaps our youngest fan so far!) and Grumpy Old Geeks -- producer Jason DeFillippo's other podcast with new episodes every Friday! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-86-doting-on-the-voting/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jon Levy (@JonLevyTLB) is a behavior scientist who studies influence and adventure. He returns to the show to talk about his latest book, The 2 AM Principle: Discover The Science of Adventure. The Cheat Sheet: What is adventure and why should we seek it out? Learn the four stages of any adventure. What it takes to filter the right people into your circle. How to politely cut ties with the wrong people. Breaking self-imposed limitations in our lives. And so much more... Don't like to shop for clothes? Let Five Four Club be your personal fashion stylist. Complete a short style quiz and receive a monthly curated package at your doorstep! Go to fivefourclub.com and use promo code CHARM at sign-up to get 50% off your first package! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/jon-levy-the-2-am-principle-episode-560/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kevin Kelly (@kevin2kelly) is the founding editor of Wired magazine and, most recently, author of The Inevitable: Understanding the 12 Technological Forces That Will Shape Our Future. The Cheat Sheet: Technology is an extension of the natural process of evolution. What's driving technology; what will the future look like? Why Artificial Intelligence (AI) is the biggest thing since electricity. Ways humanity will interact with future technology and AI -- and how it will change our lives in ways we can scarcely imagine. How technology will actually make us better humans. And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! Working with other people? Struggling to keep everyone on the same page? We use Basecamp 3 at The Art of Charm, and it's the only platform you're going to need to organize all of your company's projects and communication in one place -- Art of Charm listeners can try Basecamp 3 for free here! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/kevin-kelly-inevitable-future-episode-559/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. In this Minisode Monday, Clay Hebert joins us to talk about what makes a perfect day, month, or year and working backwards to make this happen. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: Whatever motivates you toward action -- no matter how lame someone else might think your methods -- is fair game. Think of what a perfect day looks like to you. For Seth Godin, it's being home by a certain time every night to cook dinner for his family -- and he builds the rest of his day toward that goal. Design a day with structures that support what makes it perfect for you. Eliminate, automate, and outsource the hitches that disrupt perfection wherever possible. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he reads everything)! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-24-make-perfect-day/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Sometimes a workplace bully is best defeated by the kind of precision and persistence usually reserved for military endeavors. After all, this is war. Speaking of the military, should you put in another eight years to get half-salary pension for the rest of your life, or get out now and use your GI Bill benefits for film school? How can you tone down your hyper-competitive nature and just have fun playing games instead of trying to dominate everyone who dares to oppose you? How can a leader control their stress levels to keep a positive and strong face for the people who look to them for guidance? Quick shoutouts to Clint, Brandon Clift, and -- last but not least -- Ronsley Vaz in Australia at the We Are Podcast event in Gold Coast. Jordan had a blast with you guys and can't wait to do it again next year (if he's invited back, of course)! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-85-war-bullies-stress/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Nancy Duarte (@nancyduarte) and her agency have been transforming Silicon Valley companies into movements for 25 years. She is the author of several books -- most recently Illuminate: Ignite Change Through Speeches, Stories, Ceremonies, and Symbols. The Cheat Sheet: How to persuade by speaking in a way that tells a story of contrasts. What great communicators have in common and how to borrow from their playbook. How to frame yourself as a leader -- aka a torchbearer -- in your business (even if you don't consider yourself the figurehead type). How to learn and master the highest leverage communication skills for the quickest and most dynamic return on your time and effort. The five stages of a venture scape: dream, leap, fight, climb, and arrive. And so much more... Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! Want three free rides up to $10 each? Download the free Lyft app today and enter promo code AOCPODCAST in the payment section! If you want the most amazing shave possible, take it from us: use a fresh DSC Executive blade and Dr. Carver's Shave Butter -- two reasons to join Dollar Shave Club here today! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/nancy-duarte-ignite-and-illuminate-episode-558/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Joshua Fields Millburn (@JFM) of The Minimalists tells us how we can make do with less of what we don't need to have room for more of what we value most. The Cheat Sheet: What is minimalism, and how does putting it to practice give you more from less? How can letting go of things enhance creativity and improve your health? What's the 20/20 rule? Can you and a friend endure the challenges of the 30-Day Minimalism Game? Do you have what it takes to be a packing party animal? And so much more... Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! Don't like to shop for clothes? Let Five Four Club be your personal fashion stylist. Complete a short style quiz and receive a monthly curated package at your doorstep! Go to fivefourclub.com and use promo code CHARM at sign-up to get 50% off your first package! Hate grocery shopping but you love to cook? Blue Apron delivers recipes and farm fresh ingredients to you. As an Art of Charm listener, you get your first two meals free here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/joshua-fields-millburn-the-minimalists-episode-557/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. In this Minisode Monday, Ryan Holiday -- author of Ego Is the Enemy -- joins us to discuss how we can become qualified experts in our field by sharing some of his favorite tricks of the trade. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: How do you become qualified to dominate a niche and establish expertise in a given area? Ryan tells us how he used the uncompetitive space of universities to promote his first book and gain a foothold as an expert in his field. Tracking verified Twitter mentions of his book allowed Ryan to expand his reach by offering free copies for people to share with their friends and colleagues. Always treat people as if they can get you on the front page of The New York Times -- because they might actually be able to someday. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he reads everything)! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-23-makes-qualified/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Kimberly Seltzer (as featured in our Toolbox for Women episodes) joins us for this one, so lets cut to it! In this episode: How can a hopeless romantic stay willfully single without feeling empty? What do you do when your significant other gives you the silent treatment instead of telling you when you've done something to upset them? How can an intimidating person become more approachable? How do you exude confidence rather than desperation when you're looking for romance? What can you do to get your groove back when you find out your ex was hiding a secret family? A quick shoutout to Anavel from EMSI who hooked Jordan up with an opportunity to give the keynote for its annual conference this year. He says: "You are all a great crowd and I hope AoC has some new fans!" Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-84-cold-shoulders-and-secret-families/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oliver Burkeman (@oliverburkeman) is the author of The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking; he joins us to explain why it's healthier to accentuate -- rather than ignore -- the negative. The Cheat Sheet: How does a pessimistic skeptic of positive thinking culture find himself pumped up with 12,000 other people at a motivational seminar in Texas? How can the avoidance of negative thinking make us unhappy? Are the tenets of the Ironic Process Theory slowly driving you insane? Negative Visualization: a healthier way to worry with purpose. Affirmations often go beyond just being silly -- they can actually be harmful. And so much more... Don't like to shop for clothes? Let Five Four Club be your personal fashion stylist. Complete a short style quiz and receive a monthly curated package at your doorstep! Go to fivefourclub.com and use promo code CHARM at sign-up to get 50% off your first package! Working with other people? Struggling to keep everyone on the same page? We use Basecamp 3 at The Art of Charm, and it's the only platform you're going to need to organize all of your company's projects and communication in one place -- Art of Charm listeners can try Basecamp 3 for free here! Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fabric is to enjoy the comfort of MeUndies; you just need to wear them -- support this show (and yourself) with MeUndies here for 20% off! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/oliver-burkeman-antidote-positive-thinking-episode-556/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Clay Hebert (@clayhebert) is a storyteller, marketing provocateur, and founder of Crowdfunding Hacks. He joins us to explain a framework he developed called The Perfect Intro: How to Confidently Introduce Yourself, Your Business, or Anyone Else in Six Words or Less. The Cheat Sheet: How do you introduce yourself in six words or less? Learn how to tailor the introduction of yourself and your business to suit the crowd and room where you are. How do you introduce others to one another in an effective way that makes everyone look good? Here's a technique to ensure that people welcome your introduction on both sides. Find out how Clay inspired our very own Minisode Monday episodes here at AoC. And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. If you want the most amazing shave possible, take it from us: use a fresh DSC Executive blade and Dr. Carver's Shave Butter -- two reasons to join Dollar Shave Club here today! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/clay-hebert-the-perfect-intro-episode-555/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. In this Minisode Monday, recent guest Jenny Blake, author of Pivot: The Only Move That Matters Is Your Next One, joins us to try and answer the age-old question: When dissatisfied with anything in life -- whether it's a career or a relationship -- is the grass really greener on the other side? The Cheat Sheet: Look at where you are now: maybe you're already in the right patch, but you just don't know how to make the grass grow there yet. Or maybe you really do need to move. We all have dreams -- some are worth pursuit, and some aren't. Jenny says you need to ask yourself: "What would I regret more? Staying in place, or making a decision [to pivot]?" Identify your must-haves, your nice-to-haves, and your dealbreakers. What are your knowns and your unknowns? What's the worst possible outcome (of going or staying)? What does success look like to you? Running small experiments (Jenny calls them "pilots") can help you test your "patch of grass." Important caveat: tasting a piece of cake doesn't really tell you what it's like to run a bakery. If you're still unsure, tune in to what your gut instinct says, and allow yourself some time to mull it over without rushing into anything rashly. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he reads everything)! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-22-should-you-leave-your-current-career/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: A listener sends supportive feedback to Jamila from Fan Mail Friday #80 about how sometimes we find ourselves trusting someone who doesn't deserve it... ...But sometimes it's worth giving your significant other another chance -- both parties just have to be willing and prepared to put in some hard work. We get some great advice from a listener who made it back from the brink. More listener advice: this time to L.A. Poor from Jamila from Fan Mail Friday #79. Sometimes the difference between rich and poor goes beyond what's in your wallet. If you're annoyed by our Minisode Monday and Fan Mail Friday episodes, might I direct you here? (We know you like feedback!) Regarding quote verbal air quotes end quote. Jordan shares an interesting idea for an ambitious young person who likes to travel. A quick shoutout to Matt Reynolds -- the trainer who changed Jordan's life. He's not a sponsor, but Jordan believes in what Matt does so much that he thinks you should check him out here and see if he can change your life -- if you want to get stronger and not kill yourself doing it -- too. Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-83-more-podcast-feed-clutter/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Daniel Pink (@DanielPink) is the author of To Sell Is Human: The Surprising Truth About Moving Others, which uses social science, survey research, and stories to offer a fresh look at the art and science of sales. The Cheat Sheet: What's the best way of dealing with an "off" day? Learn why sales and a sales skillset are a part of our lives -- whether we like it or not. Understand the concepts of irritation versus agitation (and how to use both to motivate others). Attunement: what it is and how it can make you more persuasive. Tips for both introverts and extroverts to improve a social skillset and build better rapport. And so much more... Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Need personalized coaching or business consulting from the convenience of your location at a schedule that works for you? Find out what Matt Reynolds can do for you here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/daniel-pink-to-sell-is-human-episode-554/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices