The Art of Charm

The Art of Charm (@TheArtofCharm) trio of Johnny, AJ, and Jordan goes over the importance of resilience and how we can develop it to be ready for anything life throws our way. [Photo by Art Bromage] The Cheat Sheet: What is resilience and why is it so important? Consider resilience as a bedrock mindset upon which other improvements are built. Johnny, AJ, and Jordan share personal examples of the role resilience has played in their lives here at AoC. "Bend, don't break." Learn actionable techniques for developing resilience that will make you ready for anything. And so much more... Order clothes online and try before you buy with JackThreads! Go to JackThreads.com and enter code CHARM when you submit your try-out for 20% off anything you keep! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/594/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Roy Wood Jr. (@roywoodjr) was on Variety's 10 Comics to Watch For list in 2016, is currently a correspondent on The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, and is the star of Father Figure on Comedy Central. The Cheat Sheet: Learn how a youthful indiscretion was "the most important thing" that led Roy Wood Jr. to pursue a life of comedy. Discover how a forgiving journalism school and a deal with his mother gave Roy's comedy career the low-stakes structure it needed to grow early on. Find out how Roy took being booed off stage as an opportunity to learn rather than as a soul-crushing defeat. How does a performer stay visible and relevant in such a hyper-competitive landscape? Understand how comics practice nuances you may not even notice to punctuate their presentations (and how Roy learned to lose some of his bad habits by observation). And so much more... Are you trying to hire the right person for your business, but the best candidates keep slipping away? Let ZipRecruiter -- the fastest way to hire great people -- help you screen only the best here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/593/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jonathan Raymond, author of Good Authority: How to Become the Leader Your Team Is Waiting For, tells us how we can let go of resistance to change by using the DANCE Method. If you've ever struggled with time management, you'll really appreciate the example he demonstrates! Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: D: Define the problem simply. A: Assess the impact. N: Name the underlying dynamic. C: Create the smallest next step you can. E: Establish personal accountability. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he actually reads everything)! Listen to The Art of Charm, The Forbes List, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/mm41/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kerry Dolan (@KerryDolan), Assistant Managing Editor of Wealth at Forbes, curates the Forbes World Billionaires List. The Forbes List, hosted by Jordan Harbinger, reveals the details behind the lists that don't make it to the magazine or online. You'll get a deeper look at what it takes to put together Forbes' lists of the top companies, wealthiest people, and biggest celebrities in the world. In this first episode, Forbes Assistant Managing Editor Kerry Dolan joins Jordan to discuss: How Forbes verifies wealth. How list makers spend their money. How inherited and self-made billionaires differ. How list makers respond to rank. The drastic measures one billionaire took to get off the list. And so much more... Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/kerry-dolan-the-forbes-list-bonus/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Jordan really does read everything. Per episode 572's reverse interview with Gabriel Mizrahi, how do you figure out what to pursue that is uniquely you? The thought of a lifetime of chronic pain after an injury is menacing. What can you do to face it? Does your life have room for people who make you feel small and undeserving? A lot of self-appointed gurus who preach the importance of hustle are doing it without the muscle. Identifying and addressing your own bad patterns should be empowering, not defeating. Jordan talks about a past vacation destination most sane people wouldn't choose. Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Need personalized coaching or business consulting from the convenience of your location at a schedule that works for you? Find out what Matt Reynolds and the Starting Strength Online Coaching team can do for you here! Listen to The Art of Charm, The Forbes List, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Over at the Mind Pump Podcast, hosts Adam Schafer, Justin Andrews, and Sal Di Stefano “pull back the curtain on the mythology, snake oil, and pseudo-science that pervades the fitness industry." Check it out here! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/fmf102/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

James Clear (@james_clear) experiments with and writes about behavioral psychology, habit formation, and performance improvement through mental models. The Cheat Sheet: Why is decision-making such a fallible process? What are mental models, and how can they help us make better decisions? Why should we collect mental models rather than relying on one as a default to solve all problems? How can we ruthlessly eliminate mediocre results? Where is the Zone of Good Luck and how can we live there? And so much more... With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with running a small business. Try a month of unrestricted use for free here (no credit card required)! Enter "ART OF CHARM" in the how you heard about us section. Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Hate grocery shopping but you love to cook? Blue Apron delivers recipes and farm fresh ingredients to you. As an Art of Charm listener, you get your first two meals free here! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/592/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Judah Pollack (@JudahThinks) and Olivia Fox Cabane (@foxcabane) rejoin the show to discuss their new book, The Net and the Butterfly: The Art and Practice of Breakthrough Thinking. The Cheat Sheet: What is breakthrough thinking -- and how does it relate to nets and butterflies? Though we all have the same brain architecture, why do some of us find breakthrough thinking more natural than others? Learn how to access your brain's genius lounge (without being impeded by your brain's executive office). Understand how your brain pieces together disparate information to solve problems in unique ways. Spot your own native breakthrough style and cultivate habits that more frequently activate it. And so much more... Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fabric is to enjoy the comfort of MeUndies; you just need to wear them -- support this show (and yourself) with MeUndies here for 20% off! Want three free rides up to $10 each? Download the free Lyft app today and enter promo code AOCPODCAST in the payment section! Please help The Art of Charm Podcast stay free-to-download with minimal ads by taking this quick and easy survey here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/591/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If something can be learned, it is a skill. If it's innate, it's a talent. The reality: most so-called talents are skills in disguise, so stop making excuses that you're not talented enough to do things and skill up! Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: The concept of "talent" is overrated. If something can be learned, it is a skill. If it's innate, it's a talent. A lot of so-called talents are really skills in disguise. If even one person can learn something through study, coaching, and effort, it's learnable -- therefore, a skill. Next time you put off an activity because you think you're not "talented" enough, try to determine if you're just using it as an excuse. Maybe you avoid shooting hoops with your coworkers on lunch break because you think they're all so much more talented than you. While it might be true that you suck at basketball, it's a skill you can improve with practice. If you want to learn the skill of systematically attacking belief systems, building confidence, and forming personal and professional relationships we invite you to take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he actually reads everything)! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/mm40/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In the process of getting in better shape, is it too much to ask that the people you attract are similarly trying to improve their own lives in some way? Your partner is perfect in every way until the alcohol comes out. How do you deal with this Jekyll and Hyde scenario? You're really just shy, but people think you're arrogant because you don't mingle well. It's a common problem, but we've got an uncommon solution. Can deep work happen in a team setting, or does it need to be an isolated process? Deep Work author Cal Newport weighs in. Does organizing your life by calendar weeks or months in advance put a damper on flexibility? Jordan can't run 25 miles barefoot, but he can do this. Quick shoutouts to Glenn, Nick, and our number one fan (she knows who she is)! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Wearing a stylish timepiece shouldn't break the bank. Art of Charm listeners can find out why MVMT is the fastest-growing watch company in the world for 15% off with free shipping and free returns here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/fmf101/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Steven Kotler (@steven_kotler) revisits the show to discuss his latest book, Stealing Fire: How Silicon Valley, the Navy SEALs, and Maverick Scientists Are Revolutionizing the Way We Live and Work. The Cheat Sheet: Why did psychology take a hundred-year detour around the therapeutic benefits of non-ordinary states of consciousness (NOSC)? Learn about ecstasis -- a specific range of NOSC sought by high performers like Navy SEALs and the elites in Silicon Valley. Compare the speed of conscious thought versus the speed of unconscious thought. What's the difference between ecstasis and flow? How MDMA-assisted psychotherapy significantly outperforms traditional talk therapy and medication in treating PTSD -- sometimes curing it completely. And so much more... Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with running a small business. Try a month of unrestricted use for free here (no credit card required)! Enter "ART OF CHARM" in the how you heard about us section. Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/590/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jonathan Raymond (@jonathanraymond) is the owner of management training startup Refound and author of Good Authority: How to Become the Leader Your Team Is Waiting For. The Cheat Sheet: What's the real purpose of a business? Why should a business owner or manager treat employees with the same respect afforded to the most valuable customers? Understand why getting rid of old, inherited beliefs about being in an authority position are critical to becoming the kind of leader people want to work for. How can countless microbehaviors among members of a workforce add up to negatively influence a company's culture, and what can we do to address them? Are you a Friend, a Fighter, or a Fixer? Learn to identify your own leadership archetype and work with its strengths and weaknesses. And so much more... A gift from the heart is always worth giving -- like farm-to-table and artisan florist bouquets from bouqs.com. Art of Charm listeners enter promo code CHARM to get 20% off! Freshly dipped strawberries from Shari's Berries starting at just $19.99 plus shipping -- double the berries for just $10 more! Just go to berries.com and use code Art of Charm! Please help The Art of Charm Podcast stay free-to-download with minimal ads by taking this quick and easy survey here! The One You Feed is a podcast by Eric Zimmer and Chris Forbes that hosts inspiring conversations about creating a life worth living. Check it out here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/589/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. Um, like, so today we're going to talk about filler words -- why you should avoid using them, and how to shed them for good. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: When you're trying to convey a message with credibility, it's not just what you say, but how you say it. Overuse of filler words like "um" and "like" are lessening the impact of that message. Even if we think we've got a handle on filler words by consciously choosing not to use them, tension and stress can make us forget. Like any other bad habits, the filler words we use need to be attacked with deliberate practice. You may not even be aware of the filler words you use. Record your side of a few phone conversations using an app like TapeACall or Call Recorder for Skype. Get a simple audio editor like the free Audacity; edit out all of the filler words from your conversations above. Do this with a twenty-minute call every week and the editing alone should drive home how much work you're putting into generating filler words that have no place in meaningful conversation. A gap of silence is always better than meaningless filler words. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he actually reads everything)! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/mm39/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Breakup Triage: The Cure for Heartache author Susan Winter rejoins us to answer a couple of questions that were addressed to her and help with our usual assortment of email in this Fan Mail Friday. Let's get to it! In this episode: Should a broken relationship be mended when the primary glue is guilt? It says more about the people who have cheated on you in multiple relationships than it does about you when you're always faithful and loving. But maybe you should review your selection process. Is there help for an attention craver who knowingly jeopardizes relationships by habitually flirting with strangers? Let's unpack the relationship exit strategy idea we talked about in Susan's episode and never got around to finishing (sorry)! How do you get over the jealousy you feel when your partner brings up past sexual exploits with other people? Is it possible to set new boundaries in a relationship (especially a marriage) once old ones have been established? Quick shoutouts to psychologist Linda and Lyft driver Simon! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with running a small business. Try a month of unrestricted use for free here (no credit card required)! Enter "ART OF CHARM" in the how you heard about us section. Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/fmf100/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Travis Bradberry (@talentsmarteq) is the award-winning co-author of Emotional Intelligence 2.0 and the co-founder of TalentSmart, the world's number one provider of emotional intelligence tests and training. The Cheat Sheet: You may know your IQ (intelligence quotient), but do you know your EQ (emotional quotient)? Unlike IQ, which tends to stay the same throughout life, emotional intelligence is a flexible set of skills that can be acquired and improved with practice. Emotional Intelligence is determined by self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. You may test with a lower EQ score than you'd like -- just ask Jordan and Jason. This only means you've got an easier map directing you toward what you should improve first. Why might you be calmly efficacious in life-or-death situations but freak out when faced with The Guacamole Problem? And so much more... DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Freshly dipped strawberries from Shari's Berries starting at just $19.99 plus shipping -- double the berries for just $10 more! Just go to berries.com and use code Art of Charm! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/588/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Peter Diamandis (@PeterDiamandis) is the founder of the XPRIZE Foundation and co-author of Bold: How to Go Big, Create Wealth and Impact the World and Abundance: The Future Is Better Than You Think. The Cheat Sheet: What does the future hold for human longevity, space colonization, artificial intelligence, and beyond? How can we adapt -- individually and as a society -- to deal with increased automation in the workforce? What is linear thinking and why does it cause us to miss the mark when coping with technology, innovation, and the advancement of the human race? If you don't know your calling in life, your calling in life is to discover what that is. What experiments can kids curious about science do that won't get them put on a no-fly list for the foreseeable future? And so much more... Hate grocery shopping but you love to cook? Blue Apron delivers recipes and farm fresh ingredients to you. As an Art of Charm listener, you get your first two meals free here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! You know James Altucher -- he's been on The Art of Charm, and Jordan's been on his show. We share a lot of similar guests, but we ask different questions. Check out The James Altucher Show here! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/587/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Minisode Monday, we talk about how gratitude may be a buzz word you're tired of hearing about, but it's a fact: people appreciate being appreciated. Here's why we should be showing gratitude for the things others do for us now rather than later. The Cheat Sheet: Far from being a woo sentiment, gratitude is a powerful motivator. We often take the little things people do for us for granted. What would happen if we started showing appreciation for them? A little kindness doesn't have to be a grand gesture. Think of ways you can thank people who warrant gratitude -- the more immediate, the better. Even a Post-it note on your coworker's computer screen thanking them for the donut they brought you this morning will be appreciated. Try to overcome whatever weird feeling you may have about expressing gratitude toward someone you don't talk to very often. This, too, will be appreciated. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he actually reads everything)! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Listen to The Art of Charm, Forbes, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/mm38/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: If you listen to hours of personal growth podcasts like The Art of Charm every day, how can you be sure that you're not just wasting your time consuming all this information for nothing? A long-time listener tells us why he recently unsubscribed. Jordan shares another one of his shady teenage exploits. You'll always have to compromise in relationships, but you won't have to settle. If you've been in a relationship for a little over a year, is it a red flag if neither of you have brought up the "L" word? Quick shoutouts to Tristan in Lviv, Ukraine and Will Bezbatchenko in Kyrgyzstan! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! If you're only going to take one supplement to boost energy, balance nutrition, and aid digestion, then Athletic Greens, with its 76 natural ingredients, is what we recommend. Art of Charm listeners get 50% off here! Our friend Noah Kagan (of OkDork and AppSumo) has a new podcast we think you should check out here -- tell him AoC sent you! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/fmf99/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jocelyn K. Glei (@jkglei) is a writer who is obsessed with how we can find more creativity and meaning in our daily work. Her latest book is Unsubscribe: How to Kill Email Anxiety, Avoid Distractions, and Get Real Work Done. The Cheat Sheet: Do you spend 30-40 percent of your work week managing email? Learn why email is a random rewards system and why it's so addictive. Understand why checking email feels so productive when you're not actually doing anything useful. How does email act as a weird form of kryptonite when it comes to social interactions? Discover why we need to let go of the idea of inbox zero. And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fabric is to enjoy the comfort of MeUndies; you just need to wear them -- support this show (and yourself) with MeUndies here for 20% off! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with running a small business. Try a month of unrestricted use for free here (no credit card required)! Enter "ART OF CHARM" in the how you heard about us section. Want three free rides up to $10 each? Download the free Lyft app today and enter promo code AOCPODCAST in the payment section! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/586/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Michael Breus (@thesleepdoctor) is a clinical psychologist, board-certified sleep specialist, and author of The Power of When: Discover Your Chronotype -- and the Best Time to Eat Lunch, Ask for a Raise, Have Sex, Write a Novel, Take Your Meds, and More. The Cheat Sheet: Do you live with an undiagnosed sleep disorder? Evolution suggests such disorders are becoming increasingly common. Anybody who has over a 17 and-a-half inch neck has about an 82% chance of having sleep apnea. And 56% of people at some point during an average week will have a bad night's sleep. Why do some people tackle the world best as early birds while others are more effective as night owls? What's your chronotype: are you a lion, a bear, a wolf, or a dolphin? Learn how living according to your own chronotype can make dramatic improvements to your life in as little as a week (even if your significant other's chronotype doesn't match yours). And so much more... A gift from the heart is always worth giving -- like farm-to-table and artisan florist bouquets from bouqs.com. Art of Charm listeners enter promo code CHARM to get 20% off! Order clothes online and try before you buy with JackThreads! Go to JackThreads.com and enter code CHARM when you submit your try-out for 20% off anything you keep! Are you trying to hire the right person for your business, but the best candidates keep slipping away? Let ZipRecruiter -- the fastest way to hire great people -- help you screen only the best here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/585/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This time around, guest and To Sell Is Human: The Surprising Truth About Moving Others author Daniel Pink rejoins us to talk about using processing fluency -- particularly through rhymes -- to get our message to stick. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: The more memorable your message is, the more likely it is to have the desired effect. Studies have found rhyming to be one of the most powerful ways of of conveying information. Rhyming increases processing fluency -- that is, "how easy it is to understand the message and help it go down," explains Daniel Pink. "Things that increase processing fluency [such as rhyming] are often believed at a deeper level." Along with rhyming, alliteration and repetition increase processing fluency. Put it to the test. See how you can slip this technique into everyday conversation without sounding like Dr. Seuss. (Or with sounding like Dr. Seuss. Your audience may vary.) To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he reads everything)! If you're only going to take one supplement to boost energy, balance nutrition, and aid digestion, then Athletic Greens, with its 76 natural ingredients, is what we recommend. Art of Charm listeners get 50% off here! Listen to The Art of Charm, The Forbes Interview, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/mm37/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: When you start your own business, how do you help the people around you understand what you're doing? [Related: Clay Hebert | The Perfect Intro (Episode 555) and AoC Toolbox | Perfecting Your Elevator Pitch (Episode 550)] Do you bear some responsibility for allowing psychopaths or sociopaths into your life? Do you ever find yourself struggling with the tension of vision, effort, and drive while maintaining and earning any form of confidence? [Related: Oliver Burkeman | The Antidote to Positive Thinking (Episode 556)] When and how should you respond to public criticism -- especially when it may have an impact on your job? On white privilege, babies, bathwater, and, if not universal truths, then universal hunches based on perspectives intrinsic to the meat suits in which we reside. Most documentaries Jordan comes across seem to have a liberal bias. For the sake of satisfying curiosity, can anyone recommend any documentaries that lean toward the conservative side of things? [More centrist, but related per Jason: Unlocked: The World of Games, Revealed] Quick shoutouts to Joseph Taylor in New Orleans and Allegra in Israel (by way of Canada)! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Are you trying to hire the right person for your business, but the best candidates keep slipping away? Let ZipRecruiter -- the fastest way to hire great people -- help you screen only the best here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/fmf98/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jonathan Fields (@jonathanfields) is a dad, husband, entrepreneur, and award-winning author -- most recently of How to Live a Good Life: Soulful Stories, Surprising Science, and Practical Wisdom. The Cheat Sheet: How do we make sure we're not overextending ourselves in some areas of our lives while neglecting others? A good life is more about meaning than happiness -- happiness is a byproduct. What's the Good Life Bucket model, and how can we apply it to our own lives? Learn how to break out of autopilot and live a more reactive life that gives back in proportion to what you put into it. Take the Snapshot360 Quiz to discover how your buckets of vitality, connection, and contribution currently score (and how you can improve them). And so much more... Gentleman's Box is a men's subscription service that provides men around the world with four to six men's style and grooming essentials in a monthly box. Use promo code "CHARM" at checkout to save $5 off any subscription option at Gentleman's Box here! Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! Hate grocery shopping but you love to cook? Blue Apron delivers recipes and farm fresh ingredients to you. As an Art of Charm listener, you get your first two meals free here! The One You Feed is a podcast by Eric Zimmer and Chris Forbes that hosts inspiring conversations about creating a life worth living. Check it out here! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/584/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Charm (@TheArtofCharm) talks about imposter syndrome and how to cope with the feeling you'll be uncovered as a fraud for being unworthy of what you've worked hard to achieve. [Photo by xmith xmith] The Cheat Sheet: Do you ever feel like you've gotten undeserved reward or recognition from accomplishing something -- and it's just a matter of time before someone uncovers you for the fraud you are? This phenomenon is known as imposter syndrome. Almost everyone experiences this at some point -- but it's especially prevalent among high-performers. Imposter syndrome is often suffered silently, because the person experiencing it usually doesn't realize it's not unique to them and that there's a name for it. What lesson can The Ramones teach us about overcoming imposter syndrome? Learn why keeping a journal helps remind us of what we've achieved when we're in doubt of our credentials. And so much more... DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! If you're only going to take one supplement to boost energy, balance nutrition, and aid digestion, then Athletic Greens, with its 76 natural ingredients, is what we recommend. Art of Charm listeners get 50% off here! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/583/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. We all have emotional buttons that set us off for some reason or another. But we don't have to be at their mercy if we understand where they come from and what they're trying to tell us. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: The emotional buttons that set us off aren't logical, but they can be identified and defused logically. These emotional buttons are most easily pressed by those who are closest to us. They know how to push them because they're the ones who helped install them in the first place! The root cause of why these emotional buttons are so powerful is due to one of two things: it calls attention to something that's partially true and bothers us about ourselves, or it's contrary to one of our core values and it offends us deeply. This week, try to observe what emotional buttons are most easily triggered and try to determine which of these two reasons applies. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he reads everything)! Listen to The Art of Charm, The Adam Corolla Show, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/mm36/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: What is Jordan's background in law enforcement? Some listener feedback for Troubled in Tennessee from Fan Mail Friday #94 by someone who's been there before. Why don't we cover business and fitness topics more often? How do we offer grief support to others in a way that serves them best? (Thanks to the LifeProTips subreddit for help with this one.) A listener of shorter stature worries that he's taken on a small personality. A couple of questions about cultural identity in the United States. Quick shoutouts to PJ and Jameel Kassouri! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with running a small business. Try a month of unrestricted use for free here (no credit card required)! Enter "ART OF CHARM" in the how you heard about us section. Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/fmf97/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mind Pump (@MindPump) hosts Adam Schafer, Justin Andrews, and Sal Di Stefano talk podcast shop, communication, business, the changing face of courtship, and more with Jordan in this longer format conversational episode. The Cheat Sheet: How does Jordan bottle his own special brand of podcast magic when a good interview at The Art of Charm runs longer than anticipated? What do your good friends really mean when they tell you to "just be yourself?" What does a day at AoC residential Bootcamp look like (and why are women coached separately)? What are the most common pitfalls that ruin new relationships, and how has courtship changed since the '70s? Do you keep forgetting about all those nonverbal communication skills whenever you're actually mingling in the real world? Learn the Doorway Drill to convey confidence as an automatic habit. And so much more... Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! If you're only going to take one supplement to boost energy, balance nutrition, and aid digestion, then Athletic Greens, with its 76 natural ingredients, is what we recommend. Art of Charm listeners get 50% off here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/mind-pump-raw-truth-episode-582/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gavin de Becker (@gavindebecker) is the the author of The Gift of Fear and Other Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence and the security pioneer who designed the MOSAIC Threat Assessment Systems used at the top levels of government. This is the second part of a two-part series (check out part one here). The Cheat Sheet: Why is "no" the end of the discussion for a man, but the beginning of a negotiation for a woman in our culture? Understand why you should be wary of the unsolicited promise. Should we try to join our intuition to our intellect, or do the two work better on their own? Learn the difference between worry and fear -- why worrying is ultimately useless while fear can save your life. Try the Rule of Opposites exercise to calibrate your intuition in the moment. And so much more... Casper makes hybrid mattresses that combine premium latex foam with memory foam -- and won't charge you an arm and a leg for them. Get $50 toward any mattress purchase here by using promo code AOC! Wearing a stylish timepiece shouldn't break the bank. Art of Charm listeners can find out why MVMT is the fastest-growing watch company in the world for 15% off with free shipping and free returns here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! You know James Altucher -- he's been on The Art of Charm, and Jordan's been on his show. We share a lot of similar guests, but we ask different questions. Check out The James Altucher Show here! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/gavin-de-becker-gift-fear-pt-2-episode-581 HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. As much as we might wish otherwise, personal growth isn't a comfortable process. AppSumo and OkDork's Noah Kagan rejoins us for this Minisode Monday to talk about how we can at least make sure it's a good discomfort rather than a bad discomfort. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: In order to grow, you have to step outside of your comfort zone. Not all discomfort is guaranteed to help you grow. Learn to tell the difference between the "good" discomfort that teaches you valuable lessons and "bad" discomfort that puts you through some kind of an ordeal without benefiting you in any way. Noah compares eating so much food that you can barely waddle away from the dinner table (bad discomfort) to going for a seven-mile walk with a good friend that results in sore legs -- but stronger muscles and better endurance -- and excellent conversation (good discomfort). Sometimes your brain will try to convince you the discomfort on the intended path ahead is bad when it's really good -- we're excellent at making excuses to avoid discomfort entirely. This week, try to step outside of your comfort zone in a way that promotes good discomfort. Noah recommends something simple: "Get out your phone right now and text someone something you wouldn't normally text them." It's an easy way to work out your discomfort muscle with minimal danger (though Jordan offers a few caveats you'd be wise to consider first). To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he reads everything)! If you're only going to take one supplement to boost energy, balance nutrition, and aid digestion, then Athletic Greens, with its 76 natural ingredients, is what we recommend. Art of Charm listeners get 50% off here! Listen to The Art of Charm, Beyond the Darkness, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/mm35/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: If you listened to our recent episode with Darya Rose, you understand the importance of creating good habits without having to fall back on willpower. But where do you begin? More feedback on jealousy in response to the actress whose boyfriend has trouble with her romantic scenes, and advice given by another listener. While listening to our most recent episode with Susan Winter about breakups, a listener who recently went through a breakup was prompted to write in for advice about getting back into the dating game. The catch: she has HSV and dreads the responsibility of telling potential new partners. A casual relationship had to hit the brakes because your partner's mother passed away. It's a few months later and you want to pick up where you left off. How do you know if the other person's ready -- and what should you do if they're not? [For reference, Kimberly Seltzer talks about covert contracts a bit here.] If the married person you're having an affair with stops having sex with you because they've discovered you watch porn, there may be other issues at play here. You probably already know what our advice is going to be here, but come along for the ride anyway, won't you? Shoutouts to Jeremy Ashton from the HATponics crew and the CHS Lions Powers of Hope team who build aquaponics systems in Jamaica to help deaf kids grow food, and Meredith from her crazy dad in Wuxi! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/fmf96/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Linda Carroll (@Lovecycleslinda) rejoins the show to discuss how we often label the other person in a relationship as "the crazy one" and why we need to examine where we land on the narcissistic continuum. Linda is a therapist and author of Love Cycles: The Five Essential Stages of Lasting Love. The Cheat Sheet: After a painful breakup, have you ever casually referred to the estranged party as your "crazy ex?" It's common to chalk up the strains of complex human dynamics as the results of someone else's mental disorder when we want to avoid taking personal responsibility for them -- and this is dangerous. While a real narcissist is hard to find, we all land somewhere on the narcissistic continuum. Learn what we can do if we think we or someone we know and love might be in a relationship with a narcissist -- or even be one. Understand the difference between being a true narcissist and exhibiting narcissistic qualities. And so much more... Are you trying to hire the right person for your business, but the best candidates keep slipping away? Let ZipRecruiter -- the fastest way to hire great people -- help you screen only the best here! Hate grocery shopping but you love to cook? Blue Apron delivers recipes and farm fresh ingredients to you. As an Art of Charm listener, you get your first two meals free here! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with running a small business. Try a month of unrestricted use for free here (no credit card required)! Enter "ART OF CHARM" in the how you heard about us section. Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/580/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gavin de Becker (@gavindebecker) is the the author of The Gift of Fear and Other Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence and the security pioneer who designed the MOSAIC Threat Assessment Systems used at the top levels of government. The Cheat Sheet: Violence is a reality -- if you're not prepared for its possibility, you'll be caught off guard by its eventuality. Learn how to hone your sixth sense for danger. Discover how to spot the red flags that signify someone as a likely abuser, con artist, or predator. How can technology paired with human intuition protect us from people who mean us harm? How literal is the term "gut feeling?" And so much more... If you're only going to take one supplement to boost energy, balance nutrition, and aid digestion, then Athletic Greens, with its 76 natural ingredients, is what we recommend. Art of Charm listeners get 50% off here! Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fabric is to enjoy the comfort of MeUndies; you just need to wear them -- support this show (and yourself) with MeUndies here for 20% off! You know James Altucher -- he's been on The Art of Charm, and Jordan's been on his show. We share a lot of similar guests, but we ask different questions. Check out The James Altucher Show here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/gavin-de-becker-gift-fear-episode-579/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. Last time he was on the podcast, Jon Acuff shared something he called the notecard exercise for people who wonder how to find good mentors. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: Gather a big stack of 3×5 cards. You're going to write down one person per notecard. [00:43] Ask yourself these questions. [00:52] You'll probably end up with a huge stack of cards -- or, at the very least, a good starting point. [01:31] The purpose of this exercise is to illustrate that you have so many options that don't often come to mind, and now you've got some contacts to get the ball rolling. [02:00] You can also arrange the cards on a board and reach out to your contacts one by one to see what unfolds. [02:18] To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he reads everything)! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/mm34/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Why do we steer away from more spiritual topics on this podcast? Is Jordan on the level? Mr. Mumbles from Fan Mail Friday 91 gets some advice from -- of all people -- Jordan's mom! You don't have to rely on the bar scene to be social -- you can banter with others in plenty of other situations. Adopting idiosyncrasies of high performers won't necessarily make you a high performer. Quick shoutouts to Rachel Whitney on the acting grind in Hollywood and Phil, who lost 140 pounds and shook off depression -- and credits his AoC experience for galvanizing these positive changes! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/fmf95/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Paul Bloom (@paulbloomatyale) is a developmental psychologist and author who returns to discuss his newly published book Against Empathy: The Case for Rational Compassion. The Cheat Sheet: How do you define empathy -- and do you believe it's a crucial component to "good" behavior? Learn why empathy actually does more harm than good by making us focus on smaller problems that affect one person over solving the bigger, intangible ones that can affect an entire population. How does empathy direct us to help in fundamentally biased ways? Why did we evolve empathy in the first place? Understand the differences between empathy, sympathy, and compassion (and why it matters in our decisions). And so much more... Gentleman's Box is a men's subscription service that provides men around the world with four to six men's style and grooming essentials in a monthly box. Use promo code "CHARM" at checkout to save $5 off any subscription option at Gentleman's Box here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/paul-bloom-against-empathy-episode-578/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Julian Guthrie (@JulianGuthrie) is an award-winning journalist and bestselling author. She joins us to discuss her new book How to Make a Spaceship: A Band of Renegades, an Epic Race, and the Birth of Private Spaceflight. The Cheat Sheet: How Julian Guthrie gets in touch with hard-to-reach people. The types of habits and backgrounds shared by the movers and shakers of the aerospace industry -- itself a magnet for high achievers. How incentive competitions can spark an industry or even jumpstart a lagging field -- and why. Why it's crucial to be relentless in the pursuit of your vision and able to convey the sincerity of your passion. How to stay focused on the task at hand in the face of consistent rejection. And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/julian-guthrie-make-spaceship-episode-577/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Minisode Monday, AppSumo and OkDork's Noah Kagan rejoins us to talk about putting simple systems in place to boost productivity. The good news: it's not as complicated as you may think. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: What are the two things that keep most people from being productive? What environment best lends itself to your productivity? Do you feel better when you're creating or consuming? Why is email such a poor way to maintain productivity -- and what might serve you better? How do you know when to stop dismissing something that's worth your time? And lots more... To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he reads everything)! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Listen to The Art of Charm, The Adam Corolla Show, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-33-productivity-tricks-with-noah-kagan/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: The path to entrepreneurship is seldom taken alone. Why does AoC advertise for brands you don't hear about on other podcasts? Our friend Karen "BattleAxe" Baetzel tells us how some unfortunate aviator call signs come to be (and tells Jordan what his might be). Why is the real joke always in the comments? Is your relationship truly worthy of the "it's complicated" label? Quick shoutouts to Darya Rose (our most recent guest) and Clotilde Dusoulier -- foodie bloggers currently enjoying AoC -- and Sunrise Emmanuel! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-94-bangers-and-bottlenecks/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Darya Rose (@summertomato) is a neuroscience Ph.D and author of Foodist: Using Real Food and Real Science to Lose Weight Without Dieting. On this episode, we talk about the psychology behind forming habits and what we can do to make lifestyle changes that last. The Cheat Sheet: If you're one of three American adults who qualifies as obese, you've probably tried dieting. Has it worked? What's the biggest mistake people make when trying to get healthy, lose weight, or make some other positive lifestyle changes? Why traditional willpower-based habits like dieting don't work. How to use your own psychology against yourself to shed old bad habits and make new good habits stick. What's the key difference between success and failure? And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/darya-rose-foodist-episode-576/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tony Hawk (@tonyhawk) is a vertical skateboarding legend who enjoys household name status these days, but as we learn in discussing his book How Did I Get Here?: The Ascent of an Unlikely CEO, the journey's been far from easy. The Cheat Sheet: Why taking risks is important for the sake of progress. How personal success can be gauged independently of financial success. Why your personal brand needs to be genuine and something you're willing to protect. Why it's important to learn everything about your craft -- even if you've "got a guy who handles that." What The Tony Hawk Foundation does for underserved communities. And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/tony-hawk-how-did-i-get-here-episode-575/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're our own worst critics. In this Minisode Monday, the challenge is to question the validity of the thoughts we have about ourselves. The Cheat Sheet: You're a heck of a lot more than just your thoughts -- which is a good thing, considering we all harbor negative thoughts about ourselves. Our thoughts determine our feelings, which in turn determine our actions, which later define our beliefs. Our thought patterns are largely formed out of habits; our belief processes get stronger as we get older -- regardless of how untrue these thoughts may be. The problem isn't the thoughts themselves; it's the fact that we take these thoughts as truth without questioning them just because they're ours. It's a cycle. Challenge these thoughts! If they're not moving you forward, do something about it. It's easier said than done, but questioning the validity of these thoughts is a good place to start. Is the risk of failure really impossibly high? Are you really not smart enough? Are you really so unattractive that you're completely unlovable? Who might disagree with these assessments, and why might they disagree? To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he reads everything)! Listen to The Art of Charm, Beyond the Darkness, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-32-do-you-believe-you/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right! Your company just got bought and your future there is uncertain. Is this week's holiday party an ideal networking event with the new overlords? The best way to get depressed and down on ourselves is to assume that we can read other people's minds. Negative feedback needs to be taken in balance. (If we took our negative feedback at The Art of Charm too much to heart, we wouldn't have two shows under our belts -- let alone 574 full episodes, 31 Minisode Mondays, 93 Fan Mail Fridays, and regular bonuses along the way.) You've followed our advice for attracting new people into your life (particularly Kira Asatryan's Stop Being Lonely tips from episode 504). But what happens when you seem to attract particularly needy people? In our recent interview with returning guest Philip McKernan, Jordan got into the preparation required to make a good show. When it comes to life, are you fully preparing for your show? Q: How many shrinks does it take to change a light bulb? A: The light bulb has to want to change. A good friend making poor decisions may be a lot like that light bulb -- he or she may not even want your good advice. Quick shoutouts to Anna in Norway and Chris Rudolph on the road that intersected with AJ and Johnny! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fabric is to enjoy the comfort of MeUndies; you just need to wear them -- support this show (and yourself) with MeUndies here for 20% off! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-93-holiday-party-networking/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sally Hogshead (@SallyHogshead) tells us how we can make anything fascinating in as little as one hour by applying the principles of her book Fascinate: How to Make Your Brand Impossible to Resist. The Cheat Sheet: Are you pistachio or vanilla? Different is better than better -- learn why standing out and knowing how to fascinate is your greatest competitive advantage. Neurologically, the process of fascination is similar to the infatuation of falling in love. Discover how to find your particular strengths and use them for maximum leverage -- not just in business, but in life. Take the fascination test to identify what makes you different -- so you can do more of what you're already doing right and less of what detracts from your strengths. And so much more... Gentleman's Box is a men's subscription service that provides men around the world with four to six men's style and grooming essentials in a monthly box. Use promo code "CHARM" at checkout to save $5 off any subscription option at Gentleman's Box here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Looking for a new podcast (in addition to The Art of Charm rather than as a replacement, we hope)? Check out Mike Dillard’s Self Made Man here! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/sally-hogshead-how-to-fascinate-episode-574/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

General Stanley McChrystal (@StanMcChrystal) talks about more than 34 years of service in the US Army and his book Team of Teams: New Rules of Engagement for a Complex World. The Cheat Sheet: See leadership from a special forces perspective. Understand why flexibility and adaptability are the cure for an unpredictable landscape -- in contrast to a system that values strict adherence to rules that limit rather than guide best practices. Learn techniques for ways we can build flexibility in ourselves. Find out why relationships are the key to success of any organization -- military or otherwise. Discover how we can develop relationships and networks to improve our own organizations. And so much more... Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/general-stanley-mcchrystal-new-rules-engagement-episode-573/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This time around, 30-year military aviator and procedure specialist Karen "BattleAxe" Baetzel rejoins us to talk about respect and practical ways to avoid misunderstandings. The Cheat Sheet: Respect is an important foundation for avoiding misunderstandings. But what is it? To avoid misunderstandings, the military (across all branches) is careful to implement a common definition for certain words -- like respect. Karen "BattleAxe" Baetzel says, at its core, "respect is a take on what is right and what is wrong." Try to think back to a time when you inadvertently offended someone -- or when you were inadvertently offended -- by a perceived lack of respect during the interaction. It's possible the misunderstanding was the result of not sharing a common definition of respect. This is further complicated by the fact that respect can be a noun (abstract) and a verb (concrete). How do you define respect? Ask a friend how they define respect. Do your definitions match? If you want to avoid misunderstandings going forward, this is a good place to start. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he reads everything)! Listen to The Art of Charm, The Unmistakable Creative, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-31-respect-from-a-military-perspective/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: What do you do when you have resting grumpy face (you may know it by other names)? You could try the "smizing" exercise at The AoC Challenge -- but don't tell Matthew Kimberly. How do you woo potential employers in another country when you need a work visa sponsorship? What would Dan Ariely say about a life coach's motivation in trying to get you to become a life coach? A listener who spent time in the Air Force chimes in on Jordan's jet lag cures. Could voice lessons help you stop mumbling and low talking? Quick shoutouts to everyone in The Art of Charm Challenge Facebook page! We hit 5,000 people over the Thanksgiving weekend here, which is not something we ever expected. One of Jordan's favorite things to do each morning is check in with the group and watch what everyone is posting in there. It's for women as well as men (in fact, women seem to be in the majority at the moment) -- you should join us! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/fmf92/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) is a film and television writer, former host of The Lip TV, and long-time friend who turns the tables and interviews The Art of Charm's very own Jordan Harbinger (@TheArtofCharm) in this one. The Cheat Sheet: Learn more about The Art of Charm's origin story and its continuing evolution. What does it mean to "Huck Finn" your way through life? What's the cost of trimming the fat from an incredible success story? How can you tell the difference between people who offer genuine life lessons and so-called gurus who use the self-help platform as a pyramid scheme? The role of luck in business and relationships. And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. If you want the most amazing shave possible, take it from us: use a fresh DSC Executive blade and Dr. Carver's Shave Butter -- two reasons to join Dollar Shave Club here today! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/gabriel-mizrahi-jordan-harbinger-the-reverse-interview-episode-572 HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it!http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Susan Winter (@susan_e_winter) is an Oprah-featured relationship expert and author who rejoins AoC to show us how to handle a breakup in minutes instead of months with tips from her recent book Breakup Triage: The Cure for Heartache. [Photo by Linda Tanner] The Cheat Sheet: Love is an extreme sport: we all need to know how to recover after a crash. Why do breakups seem to happen more often around the holidays? Learn how to dismantle your ex's power to affect you and move on. Understand and dispel a number of relationship fallacies -- namely the Perfect Partner Myth, the Bad Partner Myth, and the One and Only Partner Myth. Regain mental clarity, emotional serenity, self-esteem, confidence, and wholeness with the help of Susan's Breakup Triage steps. And so much more... Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! Want three free rides up to $10 each? Download the free Lyft app today and enter promo code AOCPODCAST in the payment section! Hate grocery shopping but you love to cook? Blue Apron delivers recipes and farm fresh ingredients to you. As an Art of Charm listener, you get your first two meals free here! Looking for a new podcast (in addition to The Art of Charm rather than as a replacement, we hope)? Check out Mike Dillard's Self Made Man here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/susan-winter-breakup-triage-episode-571/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This time around, we explain why comparing yourself to others is a toxic habit -- and one you should make a promise to stop doing sooner than later. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: Comparing ourselves to others we somehow perceive to be more accomplished is something we all do from time to time. The problem: it's a never-ending battle we can't win. To some, comparing ourselves to others almost becomes an obsession as unhealthy as drinking, smoking, drugs, or complaining. It's even worse if we compare ourselves to friends, family, or others we consider close -- because we can't appreciate their success without feeling personal loss. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success author Dr. Carol Dweck went a little deeper with this phenomenon in our show with her here. When we're close to people we perceive as successful, we should appreciate the value they place in us -- because it's a two-way street and there are probably ways they compare themselves to us. Be grateful. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he reads everything)! Listen to The Art of Charm, The Unmistakable Creative, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-30-stop-comparing-others/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it!http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: How can you develop a stronger, more commanding voice? Some great listener advice for Actress in Distress from Fan Mail Friday #87 whose boyfriend is leery of the romantic scenes she inevitably has with other actors. How does Jordan take notes when he's reading books from future guests? (Three tools mentioned: Google Docs, Evernote, and Audible) Is there value in getting a degree for the experience and "educated person" status, even if you hope not to use the degree in your career? Can a relationship in doubt survive a little time apart while you each focus on your own priorities? A quick shoutout to Justo -- Susan Winter's porter over in NYC -- who I heard listens to the show. What a coincidence! The whole building thinks he's listening to Bachata, but he's listening to The Art of Charm. I love that. Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Looking for a new podcast (in addition to The Art of Charm rather than as a replacement, we hope)? Check out Mike Dillard's Self Made Man here! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-91-from-the-diaphragm/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Susan Cain (@susancain) of Quiet Revolution tells us why being introverted is not a disadvantage -- nor is it an excuse for shying away from social situations on one's own terms. The Cheat Sheet: How "quiet" came to be a pejorative term as the west urbanized and placed more value on personality (extroversion) over character (introversion). Better ways to understand our introverted friends (or selves). Action steps for introverts to become more social. Why being an introvert might actually be an advantage -- in social situations, negotiation, and creative pursuits. Why brainstorming doesn't work and is mostly a social exercise vs. a creative one. And so much more... If you want the most amazing shave possible, take it from us: use a fresh DSC Executive blade and Dr. Carver's Shave Butter -- two reasons to join Dollar Shave Club here today! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/susan-cain-quiet-revolution-episode-570/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices