The Art of Charm

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: A lonely expat wonders if he's really cut out for living abroad, but worries about reverse culture shock if he returns home. Will the social problems he faces now just follow him wherever he decides to go? Are you conceited if accepting praise and accolades makes you feel awkward? A wife, mother, and psychology honors student weighs in on advice we gave to the couple with the mismatched libidos in Fan Mail Friday #67. Where should you go to meet a career-oriented significant other who's actually significant enough to take to the next level? A listener shares a great metaphor for explaining how self-limiting beliefs really work (and why overcoming them can seem like magic to people who are only used to seeing walls). Thanks to Melanie Curtis for letting us know The Art of Charm is her favorite podcast! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-70-reverse-culture-shock/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Michelle Lederman (@mtlederman) rejoins the show to discuss her recent book Nail the Interview, Land the Job: A Step-by-Step Guide for What to Do Before, During and After the Interview. The Cheat Sheet: Learn how to prepare for a job interview. Understand why you're better off presenting your best, authentic self during a job interview instead of trying to come off as the person you think the potential employer is looking for. Learn how to present your best self. Learn how to handle tricky questions. Learn how to follow up after the interview. And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/michelle-lederman-nail-interview-episode-528/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the eighth episode of Minisode Monday! We keep finding so many useful tactics and tips that we want to share with you, but they don't fit into the format of a regular show -- hence, Minisode Monday. Originals: How Non-Conformists Move the World author and recent guest Adam Grant joins us to talk about how we can argue against ourselves in order to make our arguments more convincing. The Cheat Sheet: We can lead with our weaknesses, not just our strengths. Adam tells us how serial entrepreneur Rufus Griscom convinced investors to fund parenting website Babble by providing three reasons not to. By arguing against ourselves and being forthright with our faults, we show the capacity to be self-critical, balanced, and not delusional enough to believe our own ideas are flawless. By listing these problems off the bat, Griscom made it harder for the potential investors to think of problems themselves. "The harder it is to think about something, the less you think it's a real issue," says Adam. "If you really struggle -- if you have to work -- to come up with some real reasons not to invest in this company, you're like, 'This company must not be so bad!'" People like to show off how intelligent they are. Since Griscom had already pointed out the problems with his business, it put the investors in the position of demonstrating this intelligence by finding ways to solve these problems -- rather than sniffing out further faults. This turned what could have been a conversation focused on the negative into one that gravitated toward the positive. Griscom later used these same tactics with Disney ("five reasons you should not buy Babble"); Disney then bought the company for $40 million. To learn more social dynamics hacks like this one, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he reads everything)! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-8-forthright-with-faults/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: In the thick of it, high school seems like a waste of time when you've got bigger dreams for your future. But how bright is that future for a high school dropout? A listener offers additional sage advice to an answer we gave in Fan Mail Friday 67 regarding the balance of self-improvement and family drama. Why isn't Jordan on Snapchat? While convalescing from an illness that induces chronic fatigue, how do you deal with the FOMO (fear of missing out) and frustration caused by not being able to operate at the high level to which you're accustomed? Let's be honest: isn't brushing up on social dynamics skills really just a way to manipulate others? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-69-are-schools-for-fools/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Angela Duckworth (@angeladuckw) is a professor of psychology at the University of Pennsylvania, founder of the non-profit Character Lab, and author of Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. The Cheat Sheet: Why we shouldn't label others as talented. Why our potential is one thing -- and what we do with it is another. How to focus on high-level goals. When to give up -- and when to be stubborn. How to grow our grit and perseverance. And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/angela-duckworth-grow-grit-episode-526/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jason McCarthy (@GORUCK) teaches lessons focused on problem solving and rapport building related to "Charming the Snake," a way of life for Green Berets that works in war, business, and love. The Cheat Sheet: What does GORUCK mean? Where does the term "charming the snake" originate? Why is it more efficacious to charm the metaphorical snake rather than kill it? What are the stages of rapport building that are important for charming the snake? It's not really possible to overcommunicate. And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/jason-mccarthy-charming-snake-episode-525/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the seventh episode of Minisode Monday! If You're so Smart, Why Aren't You Happy? author and recent guest Raj Raghunathan joins us to talk about the benefits of kindness and giving. Here's what's up today: The Cheat Sheet: Kindness and giving are good for us. Pessimists can point to numerous reasons that humans seem to be programmed for selfishness and greed, but research suggests we're equally (if not more so) hard-wired for generosity. A study with non-socialized toddlers found a correlation between sharing a personal resource (Goldfish crackers) and happiness -- the most generous toddlers were also the most happy. When we're kind to other people, other people tend to reciprocate that kindness. Even if our generosity is unconditional, the receiving party usually feels obligated in some way to return the favor out of an inherent sense of fairness. We all want to feel as if we're good at doing something -- even if that something is simply being an agent of positive change. When we see our actions as making a difference in the world, we feel more than competent -- we feel powerful. On the other side of it, being too nice -- overly kind and giving -- can get us marked as suckers; where do we draw the line? Raj references recent guest Adam Grant for some lessons in being an "otherish" giver. This week, we challenge you to find the balance between being a selfless giver and an otherish giver. Take the Art of Charm Challenge for weekly help in striking the right balance in this and the other areas of your life. Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he reads everything)! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-7-kindness-and-giving/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Is it fair to assess someone's character and integrity from a small incident that appears to be inconsequential? When does a benevolent Band of Brothers (as discussed in Episode 460 with Stephen Mansfield: Building a Band of Brothers) become a corrupt Old Boys Network? Where do we stand on "the power of positive thinking?" Is it just a gimmick or does it really work? Is it wrong to initiate a relationship with someone when you know you're going to be moving far away soon? If it bothers you when someone refers to you as a freelancer instead of an entrepreneur, how do you respond without sounding overly negative? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-68-dont-call-me-a-solopreneur/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Amy Herman (@AmyHermanAOP) helps people from across the professional spectrum enhance their observation and perception skills by learning to look at works of art in her Art of Perception course. Her new book, Visual Intelligence: Sharpen Your Perception, Change Your Life is available now. The Cheat Sheet: Discover why Amy discourages use of the words "obviously," "clearly," "always," and "never." The Four As: assess, analyze, articulate, act. Learn the difference between short-term situational awareness and long-term situational awareness. Don't worry about political correctness. Worry about correctness. How can studying art sharpen your ability to observe -- especially the details that hide, unnoticed by most, in plain sight? And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/amy-herman-visual-intelligence-episode-524/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

General Michael Hayden (@GenMhayden) is a retired United States Air Force general, former Director of the NSA and CIA, and author of Playing to the Edge: American Intelligence in the Age of Terror. The Cheat Sheet: How does an intelligence agent view cognition, cognitive bias, and psychology differently from a policy maker? What is The Unpleasant Fact an intelligence agent brings to the briefing table? General Hayden gives us a rare glimpse of working for two very different presidents and conveys the importance of adapting to their particular learning styles. Find out what it's like to present new intelligence to an administration that forces it to change policy. (Awkward!) Get General Hayden's take on the recent Orlando shootings and the difficulty of balancing security with liberty. And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/general-michael-hayden-playing-edge-episode-523/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the sixth episode of Minisode Monday! We keep finding so many useful tactics and tips that we want to share with you, but they don't fit into the format of a regular show -- hence, Minisode Monday. Here's what's up today: The Cheat Sheet: Loneliness is the discrepancy between your desired level of social contact with what you actually achieve. Loneliness is that contradiction between how we want to feel versus what we actually experience -- and it opens up a weird emptiness within us. The irony is, if you suffer from loneliness, you're not alone -- one in five Americans suffer from chronic loneliness, with millennials experiencing it in an even higher percentage. Check out this podcast we did with Kira Asatryan recently: Stop Being Lonely (Episode 504). Technology -- especially so-called "social" media -- seems like it should make the world a little smaller and bring us closer together, but an interesting phenomenon happens when we see the lives of others through the filtered lens they choose to share with us: we feel inadequate. This week, make an effort to surround yourself with people who challenge your thinking -- not just people who agree with you. Hear people out when they express opinions with which you disagree. Read an article from a website you don't normally agree with. Poke holes in the logic -- it'll make you a better critical thinker. In some cases, it may change the way you think entirely. Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he reads everything)! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-6-youre-not-alone-in-loneliness/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: How do you maintain a healthy mind and keep improving yourself when there are a lot of problems in the immediate family that no one has control over? [Answer: 01:55] A listener gives us his take on ego (as recently discussed in AoC episode 519: Ego Is the Enemy with Ryan Holiday). [Answer: 06:23] Still another listener gives us his take on the virginity issue discussed way back in FMF 60 -- and, it seems, every FMF since! (But we felt this was a unique insight worth sharing.) [Answer: 08:40] We all know Jordan has a face for radio, but how did he get that silky smooth broadcasting voice? [Answer: 09:26] When your marriage is otherwise great but the sex life is -- in your opinion -- lacking, how do you honestly open up to your partner in a way that doesn't cause them to shut down or get angry? (This was sent to us by one of The Art of Charm's "more than 30,000 women listeners.") [Answer: 14:08 -- Adrenal Stress Index Test here.] Oh! And if you're in Omaha, go check out AoC alumnus Jake Gardner's bar The Hive Lounge. (If you're in town, you know there's already a buzz about it.) Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-67-a-face-for-podcasting/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tim Urban (@waitbutwhy) of Wait But Why tells us how to build good patterns for defeating chronic procrastination and gain control over our own lives. The Cheat Sheet: Telling someone afflicted with chronic procrastination not to procrastinate is like telling someone with clinical depression to just be happier: it doesn't work. The chronic procrastinator experiences a constant struggle between their inner rational thinker -- who sees the future and understands the value of goals and hard work -- and an Instant Gratification Monkey that only lives for what's easy and fun today. Even when the inner Rational Decision-Maker knows there's an impending task that needs to be completed (whether it's a thesis or preparation for a TED Talk), the Instant Gratification Monkey will seize every distraction at hand to frustrate that task's completion (until another entity -- the Panic Monster -- awakens). How does the Procrastination Matrix compare to the Eisenhower Matrix, and what tasks does a present-day procrastinator put off for their future self? Learn the different types of procrastinator -- the disastinator, the impostinator, and the successtinator -- and what it takes for the Rational Decision-Maker to overcome the incessant shenanigans of the Instant Gratification Monkey (without having to rely on the intervention of the dreaded Panic Monster). And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/tim-urban-wait-but-why-episode-522/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jocko Willink (@jockowillink), commander for the most highly decorated special operations unit of the Iraq War, joins the show to talk about taking responsibility, discipline, intensity, and leadership to the next level as outlined in Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win. The Cheat Sheet: When making a decision, worrying about variables that can't be controlled is a waste of time. A better outcome is likely if we learn to focus otherwise wasted effort on factors that can be controlled. Understand why taking ownership of your mistakes, personal issues, and outcomes always gets better results than trying to pass blame to someone else. What does discipline = freedom mean? How do you stop small weaknesses that sometimes permeate discipline from having a negative impact on significant decisions? Is there such a thing as a natural leader? And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/jocko-willink-extreme-ownership-episode-521/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the fifth episode of Minisode Monday, where we'll talk about testing our assumptions! We keep finding so many useful tactics and tips that we want to share with you, but they don't fit into the format of a regular show -- hence, Minisode Monday. Here's what's up today: The Cheat Sheet: Give someone who remembers WWII an iPod or comparable modern media player and they may not be able to wrap their brains around how it can store so much music and other content. Maybe because they used to have a record collection that took up half the basement, they have assumptions about how much space it takes to store that much media based on past experience that haven't been updated to account for modern, unfamiliar technology. No matter our age, we all carry around assumptions -- right or wrong -- about the way the world works. As we get older and the world changes around us, many of our assumptions naturally become archaic. But how many of our assumptions are fact-based or purely opinion? It's our programming that causes us to make these assumptions before our conscious mind can intercept them -- not just with technology, but with people, too. This week, whenever you catch yourself making assumptions about something or someone, put it to the test: is the guy at the deli with all the tattoos really a scary person? Is the movie theater ticket clerk really just an aloof teenager? Did someone snub you on purpose, or are they maybe distracted with their own issues? Some of the programming that triggers these assumptions may need rewiring -- and if you're ready to make that happen, here's a good place to start. Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or email [email protected] (he reads everything)! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-5-testing-our-assumptions/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: If a partner is going through therapy and the 12 steps for recovery from alcoholism -- and doing well -- is it reasonable to worry they might have a relapse because of their "proven" addictive personality? What causes someone not to take an opportunity -- even when they have an offer that would vastly improve their lives sitting right in front of them? A listener writes in to give us more great ways for long-distance couples to stay connected. Would you rather get a direct but short reply from a busy person, or a longer reply from someone who's been outsourced to answer that busy person's mail? As painful as breaking up with a romantic partner may be, it at least has social precedents to follow. But how do you break up with a friend -- or nip a one-sided friendship in the bud? (Check out our recent episode with Sam Harris for some insight into dealing with difficult truths over intellectual dishonesty. Foreign language hacks are a dime a dozen. So here's a triple foreign language hack that might help you learn a new language while putting those idle hours you spend on Facebook to good use. Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-66-unfriending-in-real-life/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hines Ward (@mvp86hinesward) is a two-time Super Bowl champion and MVP of Super Bowl XL. He joins us to talk about how, in spite of just turning 40, he's just getting started. The Cheat Sheet: Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard. By carving out his own niche in the game of football, Hines Ward proved he didn't have to be the tallest and fastest in the NFL to excel. How can someone in the spotlight stay positive even when faced with bouts of external negativity? In preparation for life post-game, Hines explains how he networked instead of playing Xbox all day like some of his contemporaries. What theme song "inspired" Hines during the swimming part of his Ironman triathlon? And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/hines-ward-do-the-dirty-work-episode-520/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ryan Holiday (@ryanholiday), author of Ego Is the Enemy, talks about how learning to put our higher goals above a desire for recognition leads us to true accomplishment. The Cheat Sheet: What is the ego? When does the ego go from being a fundamental part of our existence to an all-destroying enemy? What are the downfalls of ego (and how can we avoid them)? Learn how aspiration, success, and failure are influenced by ego. Understand the delicate relationship between ego and envy. And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/ryan-holiday-ego-is-the-enemy-episode-519/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the fourth episode of Minisode Monday! We keep finding so many useful tactics and tips that we want to share with you, but they don't fit into the format of a regular show -- hence, Minisode Monday. The Cheat Sheet: Off the top of your head, think of something for which you're grateful. It can be anything -- from a passion for teaching others to having a strong circle of friends to having a good job to loving where you live. Anything. In what ways does this thing for which you're grateful make your life better? Now think back to when and how you came upon whatever makes you grateful. Chances are pretty good another person was responsible for bringing the object of this gratefulness into your life. No matter how long ago this happened, track down and thank that person (thanks to social media like Facebook, it's easier than ever to do this). Let them know how grateful you are for this thing, but more important: how grateful you are to them for introducing you to it. Remember: it's never too late to be grateful. Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or email [email protected] (he reads everything)! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-4-never-too-late-to-be-grateful/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Kimberly Seltzer (as featured in our Toolbox for Women episodes) joins us for this one, so let's cut to it! In this episode: Dating when you've been diagnosed with herpes can be tough. When is the time right to tell prospective partners? Too early, and you may be seen as presumptuous. But if you wait until things start getting serious, they may be angry you didn't tell them sooner. How do you make the call? A listener from Jordan's appearance on the Sex Nerd Sandra podcast writes in to ask for an alternative to the "just be yourself" advice usually given to someone who wants to approach an attractive stranger. If you're used to being a pushover, what do you do when your so-called friends resist the boundaries you're trying to set (as discussed with Kimberly Seltzer in episode 499)? Sometimes love is unrequited for good reason. But what do you do when "the one who got away" briefly returns the sentiment only to go right back to their abusive spouse? Are you right to feel like the perpetual second choice? A stunning superhero asks: "Is it possible to be too attractive?" Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-65-sex-and-the-single-superhero/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Raj Raghunathan (@Rajadon), author of If You're so Smart, Why Aren't You Happy?, examines why happiness often eludes us in all walks of life -- no matter how healthy, wealthy, or wise we seem to others. The Cheat Sheet: The very things that make people smart and successful can, paradoxically, get in the way of happiness. The typical education, no matter how extensive (or expensive), doesn't give us instructions for how to be happy. Are millennials naturally better equipped for happiness than elder generations? Being mindful intensifies positive feelings even as it mitigates negative ones. What's the recipe for your happiness? And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/raj-raghunathan-youre-smart-arent-happy-episode-518/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Adam Grant (@AdamMGrant), author of Originals: How Non-Conformists Move the World, revisits the show to explain how defying conformity gives us the power to change the world instead of just accepting it as it is. The Cheat Sheet: Great creators don't necessarily have the deepest level of expertise. Question the default instead of taking the status quo for granted. Learn how to triple the number of ideas you generate. Procrastinate strategically. Balance your risk portfolio. And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/adam-grant-originals-move-world-episode-517/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the third episode of Minisode Monday! We keep finding so many useful tactics and tips that we want to share with you, but they don't fit into the format of a regular show -- hence, Minisode Monday. The Cheat Sheet: When you're traveling around the world, communication can get tricky. You may not have time to master multiple foreign languages, but you can brush up on your nonverbal communication skills before catching a ride to the airport. While cultural differences are inevitable, many nonverbal cues are universal. For instance, you can convey confidence and charisma by the way you carry yourself -- in any country. When you get good at observing the nonverbal cues of others in front of you, your communication will be that much better by the time you reach the verbal part of the conversation. If observation is your friend, a partner who can practice with you, observe your nonverbal cues, and give you honest feedback for improvement is perhaps your best friend. Try to observe nonverbal communication going on between people around you in the week ahead. What do you find yourself noticing for the first time? Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly (he reads everything)! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-3-nonverbal-communication-for-travelers/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: You've resolved to make big changes in your life -- but how do you prioritize them or even find a place to start? Is it possible to be oversaturated with good advice? We share more excellent listener advice for making a transition from the military to civilian office life as discussed in Fan Mail Friday #61. Dr. Duana Welch responds to an intellectually curious listener who challenges some scientific assertions she made in her most recent appearance: The Evolution of Love (Episode 509). Jordan further clarifies advice he gave in Fan Mail Friday #60 to the listener who wondered if voluntary virginity was still something worth holding onto. Is it anti-feminist to accept gender roles in courtship (as discussed in our AoC Toolbox for Women episodes? How can you balance spending quality time with a significant other while putting in the 15 hours a day (or more) to start your own business? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-64-paralysis-by-analysis/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Rob Norman (@robthenorman), co-host of The Backline podcast and author of Improvising Now, explains how we can use techniques from improvisational theater to conquer everyday life challenges. The Cheat Sheet: Improvisational theater skills go far beyond just helping us think quickly on our feet. In improv, as in all spontaneous life experiences, failure is a possible outcome. Sharpening improv skills gets us not only to overcome our fear of failure, but to learn from it. Learn how the "yes...and" exercise fosters positive interaction, teamwork, and better ideas not only with improv scene partners, but with people in our business and personal lives. Use the Last Line Response exercise in conversation as a powerful way to show that you're paying attention -- and elicit attention in return. No matter how experienced you are at something, confidence is an illusion. It's knowing how to respond when something goes wrong without spoiling that illusion that makes the difference. And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/rob-norman-improvising-now-episode-516/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cal Newport revisits the show to talk about deep work and how focus can make you not only more productive and effective, but happier and more neurologically healthy. The Cheat Sheet: What's the difference between shallow work and deep work? Why is engaging in deep work so important not only to personal satisfaction, but to your very survival in a ruthless marketplace? Learn how to schedule deep work into your own life. Discover what you can eliminate from your life to make deep work more natural. What the heck does orthogonal mean? And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/cal-newport-deep-work-episode-515/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the second episode of Minisode Monday! We keep finding so so many useful tactics and tips that we want to share with you, but they don't fit into the format of a regular show -- hence, Minisode Monday. The Cheat Sheet: How can you start reading people quickly? When observing someone, try to remember more than appearance-based traits. Noticing more than superficial features hones your judgment and makes you more observant in a deeper way. Pay attention to how your favorite writers describe characters -- the good ones will tell you more than what's just on the surface. Challenge: For the next week, put these observations in practice as you interact with people. You'll be surprised at how naturally your radar starts to pick up clues about what makes them tick. Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he reads everything)! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-2-reading-people-quickly/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Fridays, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. In this episode: Is there a polite way to snap your friend out of a need for attention from the opposite sex and get them to see they're awesome as they are? Why is it sometimes so hard to stay away from people we clearly know are wrong for us -- like the narcissists Kim Seltzer has discussed on the show before? A relationship seems to be going well until the other party backs out when you set boundaries. Are we supposed to constantly put ourselves out there no matter how many times we get rejected? What are the chances of having a successful relationship with someone who is much older than you? How can you get your otherwise perfect partner to be more vocal in the bedroom? We get some good feedback for advice given regarding how to disclose a history of breast cancer and reconstruction to a new romantic interest in FMF 61. What kind of memories do you hold on to? Next time you find yourself only remembering the negatives, balance it out with positives. Here's Jordan's video: How to Retrain Your Brain to Recognize Positive Outcomes. Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-63-lady-boner-killer/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sam Harris (@samharrisorg) is a neuroscientist, author, and philosopher; he's also a staunch critic of religion (while being an advocate of mindfulness) who joins the show to discuss some views that -- fair warning -- many may find controversial. The Cheat Sheet: When does stubbornness stop being a virtue and become a confession of intellectual dishonesty? What makes Sam Harris the Anti-Trump? Why do so many people subscribe to the package beliefs of their political parties or religions even when clearly proven scientific facts prove contradictory to these beliefs? If Sam Harris considers himself primarily a philosopher, how did he wind up with a PhD in neuroscience? Why do we lie -- even when we know how destructive it can be? And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/sam-harris-anti-trump-episode-514/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Anders Ericsson (@PeakTheBook) is the expert in finding out what it takes to become an expert. Here, he discusses Peak: Secrets from the New Science of Expertise, his new book co-authored with Robert Pool. The Cheat Sheet: Innate talent is a myth. How can we become amazing at any skill? Learn how to set up a deliberate practice regimen to become more effective at anything you do. Understand why "try differently" is a better solution than "try harder." Contrary to what was once believed, the brain can be rewired to excel toward a specific goal at any age with the proper training. And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/dr-anders-ericsson-science-expertise-episode-513/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the first episode of Minisode Monday! We keep finding so so many useful tactics and tips that we want to share with you, but they don't fit into the format of a regular show -- hence, Minisode Monday. But don't worry! We'll still present the regular number of full-sized episodes every week, but the schedule will look more like this: Monday -- Minisode Monday Tuesday -- Full-sized episode #1 Wednesday -- Break Thursday -- Full-sized episode #2 Friday -- Fan Mail Friday It's good news; you're getting more in the rotation, and we get to impart something that's maybe five or 10 minutes long -- at most -- that you can apply today. Please let us know what you think in the comments below, at Twitter, or email [email protected]! The Cheat Sheet: We learn manners via parents and society. So when we travel to the other side of the world, what we consider polite may not fly -- and vice versa. Consider the non-verbal cues you get from others when you breach these manners and how this makes you feel. Understand that, no matter how positive of a person you may be, you have negative emotional biases that affect your levels of anxiety, depression, and self-esteem. What are the consequences of letting negative emotional biases take over our lives? How can we address negative emotional biases in a way that keeps us -- instead of our misconceptions -- in control? Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-1-taming-negative-emotional-biases/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Fridays, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. In this episode: If men are the gas and women are the brakes (per guest Emily Nagoski in The Art of Charm podcast episode 414), how does this apply in a marriage that fizzles out in the sex department? Are you a better teacher than a performer of a certain skill? What does it say about you when your students constantly surpass your level of expertise? A veteran weighs in to help a fellow brother-in-arms readjust to civilian work life as addressed in Fan Mail Friday #61. [For further reference, here's a link to the Treble Victor Group for ex-servicemen and women who find themselves in the same boat.] Sure, it's a red flag when the father of your significant other calls out of the blue to impugn their character -- but is this really a warning about your partner or just the sanity of a potential future in-law? The only kind of cockblocker you want in your life is the one who keeps you safe from undead chickens during the zombie poultry apocalypse. But what if it's your best friend who may or may not be in love with you? In a recent video we talked about the concept of using emotional filters to our advantage. Now we're going to use them as a persuasion tool in this week's video: How to Change Someone's Mood Deliberately. Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-62-red-flag-dads-and-fowl-obstructions/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Linda Carroll (@Lovecycleslinda), therapist and author of Love Cycles: The Five Essential Stages of Lasting Love, revisits the show to discuss how we can maintain strong romantic relationships for years beyond the initial hormones of early love. The Cheat Sheet: Like seasons, tides, and other natural processes, love goes through very distinct, predictable cycles through which we can weather and thrive over the long term with preparation. Romance is based on science, not superstition. Why does falling in love make us crazy? Because we're experiencing the Merge -- the first of these love cycles -- governed by body chemistry (hormones) that intoxicates us to operate outside our "normal" parameters of behavior. The bad news: the Merge -- so named because it elates us with a feeling of unity with another person where our boundaries are merged together -- is temporary. The chemicals wear off. The good news: we can rekindle the chemistry of the Merge with our current partner if we overcome the cycles of Doubt and Denial, Disillusionment, and Decision to reach Wholehearted Love -- instead of engaging in a string of ultimately failing serial relationships to maintain the high of the Merge. Learn how to defend yourself against making poor choices when you're under the influence of the Merge. And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/linda-carroll-lasting-love-episode-512/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Melanie Watkins (@MWatkinsMD) is a psychiatrist who emphasizes the importance of making mental health a priority by minimizing the mystery -- and sometimes the misery -- of mental illness and addiction treatment. The Cheat Sheet: Maintaining mental health is as serious as maintaining physical health -- and there should be no shame in seeking help for either. What signs commonly signal a need to seek help from a mental health professional? Central nervous system depressants abused as an alternative to mental health maintenance usually exacerbate the symptoms of an illness rather than relieving them. What can we do to destigmatize the very act of seeking help from a mental health professional? What are the first steps we can take toward getting mental health treatment? And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/dr-melanie-watkins-mental-health-first-episode-511/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Fridays, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. In this episode: How do you deal with success anxiety when you find yourself deviating from an ambitious schedule? A disappointed Christian listener begs to differ with some advice Jordan gave to a curious virgin in Fan Mail Friday #60. Your boss keeps hounding you to take a managerial job you don't really want. The kicker: you're a woman, and you get the impression he doesn't want to hike your wages to match what a male in a similar role at your company makes. What's your next move? As an outsider, how do you know when to engage your significant other's family when they start having a drunken domestic incident? Can you ever fit in with your coworkers when most of them enjoy gossiping and office games while at work, and you're more of the type who prefers to work hard and leave the office when you're done? If you're a woman who's undergone a double mastectomy, how do you tell a guy about it before "surprising" him in the moment? Check out Jordan's latest video about a simple notecard exercise that can help you find a mentor here. Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-61-shocked/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

AmyK Hutchens (@AmyKHutchens), author of The SecretsLeaders Keep: Insightful Stories And Provocative Questions ThatUnlock The Hidden Secrets To Winning Big In Business And Lifetells us how we can think more critically, solve our problems morequickly, build momentum, be more productive, and be more profitablefaster.The Cheat Sheet:No matter how accomplished you think you are,developing critical thinking skills and learning to see the worldwith a fresh perspective will help you adapt to whatever newproblems and changes lay ahead.Inviting participants to create question-based agendasmake professional meetings worth having (instead of wastingeveryone's time).Learn how to spark engagement and garner buy-in fromothers for meaningful interactions.What are the two most common fears leadershave?Ask yourself these two questions that will shift yourperspective every single time you have to make adecision.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/amyk-hutchens-secrets-leaders-keep-episode-510/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and writeus a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd andhelp people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it!http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Duana Welch (@duanawelch), author of Love Factually: 10Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do, rejoins us to discuss theevolution of love.The Cheat Sheet:What are some of the core differences between men andwomen?Learn how men and women have shaped each otherpsychologically and biologically over the course of humanevolution.What do women and men lie about?Why do men tend to be more ambitious thanwomen?How does jealousy differ between women andmen?And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/duana-welch-evolution-love-episode-509/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and writeus a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd andhelp people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it!http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Fridays, where we'll be answering yourquestions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kickthe weekend off right.In this episode:Your overall confidence is low and your desperationrises as you seek a new job in a new town with no luck yet -- andany hope of dating seems to be following the same pattern. What doyou do?You're in your twenties and it's the first long-termrelationship for both of you. Hesitation over a proposal leads to abreakup, though you stay in touch and hope remains that thingsmight still work out between you. Is it okay if you don't haveeverything figured out yet?How do you show your older siblings you've come a longway since you were the "dumb" kid in the family?You got drunk to counter the anxiety you feel in socialsituations and said some things to your friends for which you maynever be forgiven. How do you approach them to express regret andtry to make things right (while cutting back on the drinking sothis doesn't become a common occurance)?Are women more attracted to guys who are taken? And ifso, why?How do you decide whether or not the virginity you'vealways been proud of maintaining is worth holding untilmarriage?We all process through emotional filters and assignmeaning to things that don't always warrant them. Jordan demonstrates how this works in his latestvideo.Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like toshare with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]!Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-60-scent-of-single/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and writeus a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd andhelp people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it!http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dan Millman (@pwdan) revisits the show to talk about his newlyupdated book The Four Purposes of Life: Finding Meaning andDirection in a Changing World.The Cheat Sheet:Earth/life is a school and daily life is yourclassroom.Career and calling are two different things (and don'tnecessarily need to be merged).Learn why we're here to fulfill four fundamentalpurposes in life -- and what they are).Find direction in life when faced with seeminglydifficult challenges.Clarify your hidden calling with Dan's Life PurposeCalculator.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/dan-millman-four-purposes-life-episode-508/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and writeus a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd andhelp people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it!http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kimberly Seltzer (@SeltzerKimberly) returns to the show to share her formula for creating and maintaining a confident body image based on the body we have over the body we might wish we had. This pertains to women and men, so there should be something here for everyone!The Cheat Sheet:What is the definition of confidence, and why are some of us more confident than others?Why is it that so many of us don't love our bodies?Pinpoint your current body type and the options it gives you.Discover the clothes that flatter your figure and enhance your confidence versus ones that deplete it.Kimberly shares exercises for shedding old thought processes about body image and confidence and replacing them with newer, healthier ones.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/kimberly-seltzer-body-image-confidence-episode-507/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Fridays, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right.In this episode:If you're going through the trouble of enduring so-called "networking events," should you suffer the fools you meet there gladly in hopes their business sense outweighs their social sense?Is pursuing a career on Wall Street a no-brainer? Come on! All your friends are doing it...When you're experiencing a new career and the benefit of discretionary income for the first time in your life, how do you handle the divide it's causing between you and your longtime -- but less fortunate -- friends?Is recreational drug use as a college student a no-brainer? Come on! All your friends are doing it...Two-time (but not two-timing) AoC guest Duana Welch weighs in on why science tells us men are more emotional than women.How can people in a long-distance relationship build trust that overrides concern the other party might cheat?Why is playing Devil's Advocate a bad thing? Jordan talks about how to break this habit in this video.Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]!Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-59-the-peer-pressure-of-wall-street-and-drugs/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Neil Pasricha (@1000Awesome), author of The Happiness Equation, shares counterintuitive and practical happiness hacks to help us elevate ourselves into greater positivity and productivity every day using real action-oriented models and frameworks to think about how we do the things we do. The Cheat Sheet: The happiness model we're taught from a young age is backwards -- we should lead with happiness instead of regarding it as some kind of end-game reward for enduring the burdens of life. Happiness is a learnable, teachable skill -- there are specific exercises you can do in just 20 minutes a day to train your brain to be happy. Keep just three simple goals in mind to ensure happiness. No matter what your pessimistic and optimistic friends tell you, the glass isn't half-empty or half-full -- it's refillable. Don't let comparison kill your joy -- you'll never be number one out of seven billion in the world at anything. Let that be a relief to you! And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/neil-pasricha-happiness-equation-episode-506/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Karen Baetzel (@BattleAxe57) started BattleAxe Consulting to sharpen leaders -- for work and for life -- through experiential and multi-channel training using military aviation principles. She insists they have fun doing it, too!The Cheat Sheet:Learn about military aviation culture and what helpful tips it can teach us about attention and respect. Understand the crucial difference between procedure and technique.Why are precision language habits necessary?If you aren't doing your leadership "dirty work," then who is?Find out what this self-described "battleaxe" wishes civilians knew about leadership and service.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/karen-baetzel-battleaxe-consulting-episode-505/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Fridays, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right.In this episode:How do you meet new people for platonic relationships while making it clear that you're not available for anything romantic or sexual (while avoiding coming across as presumptuous)?How can you overcome your own self-limitations to start living life for yourself instead of catering to the whims and validation of others?You're a divorced parent of two in your forties and stuck in suburbia for custody reasons until the kids go to college. What dating prospects can you expect?You've placed your own college education on hold under the condition you'd return once your spouse graduated. Four days after they got their degree, you separated. Now what?For the sake of your own relationship's balance, how do you encourage your significant other to develop outside friendships?We spend a lot of time worrying about what other people think about us. But what do you think about you? Jordan goes into more detail about this phenomenon here: Who Influences Your Thoughts?Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]!Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-58-take-a-chance-on-you/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kira Asatryan (@KiraAsatryan) discusses the epidemic of loneliness felt by modern Americans -- millennials in particular -- and how it can be countered by closeness, the foundation of all happy and long-lasting relationships. She is the author of Stop Being Lonely: Three Simple Steps to Developing Close Friendships and Deep Relationships.The Cheat Sheet:One in five Americans suffers from chronic loneliness (and among millennials, the percentage is even higher). Time Magazine slates it as the next big public health crisis.Because loneliness isn't as readily identifiable as depression, many -- especially men -- choose to suffer it in silence.Cultivating close relationships with others counters this loneliness, and it's a skill that can be learned rather than an inherent quality that only the lucky few possess.What is loneliness? What is closeness?How does social media -- in spite of keeping us in touch with possibly hundreds or thousands of people -- exacerbate loneliness for many?And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/kira-asatryan-stop-lonely-episode-504/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kimberly Seltzer (@SeltzerKimberly) is a dating and makeover expert who draws upon her experience as a therapist for an inside-out approach to helping people look and feel their best. We welcome her back to the show to share the top five mistakes women make when trying to attract a man.The Cheat Sheet:Is it really true that "there are no good men out there?"Do you feel like the one who never gets approached or, if you do the approaching, you never get the response you're looking for?Body language, first impressions, messaging, social confidence, and your image play a huge role in how you come across to potential romantic partners.With which of the five archetypes of women do you most strongly identify -- and which mistakes are you most prone to make when trying to attract a man?What's the secret weapon that will help you overcome the mistakes commonly made by your prevailing archetype?And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/kimberly-seltzer-top-5-mistakes-women-make-when-trying-to-attract-a-man-episode-503/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Fridays, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right.In this episode:What do you do for the friend who seems to need you as a cheerleader to pursue their life goals, but won't make any progress toward those goals on their own?You used to be the life of the party, but now social situations leave you feeling drained. Is there a way to regain emotional and mental endurance?An advanced degree doesn't have to come from an Ivy League school to demonstrate that you're serious about improving yourself."Getting drunk and high used to help lower my inhibitions so I could enjoy things, but now I've found that, when I'm in a good place spiritually, I'm simply not so inhibited any more."The idea of a "covert contract" applies just as much to places and things as it does to people, and sometimes we even make these contracts with ourselves. Does your current romantic interest really need to know how inexperienced you are at this stage of the game?Are you enabling your lazy friend's deadbeat habits?Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected] or even, thanks to our friends at Burner App, leave us a voicemail or text at (415) 429-1915!Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-57-social-performance-anxiety/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bert Jacobs (@Lifeisgood) is co-founder and CEO (Chief Executive Optimist) of The Life is Good Company, which spreads the power of optimism through inspiring art, a passionate community, and groundbreaking nonprofit work. He's also the co-author of the recently published Life is Good: The Book.The Cheat Sheet:Why is optimism so important?How did Bert Jacobs and his brother John turn a t-shirt company that operated from a van into a multi-million dollar business celebrating optimism?Gratitude is just one "superpower" unlocked by practicing optimism -- we talk about nine more.Learn how these superpowers allow you to overcome obstacles and embrace opportunities.Less is more: why do simple things often resonate more than the complex?And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/bert-jacobs-life-good-episode-502/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Chris Guillebeau (@chrisguillebeau) is a bestselling author and host of the annual World Domination Summit. He's here to tell us how his new book Born for This will help you find the work you were meant to do.The Cheat Sheet:Why don't more people pursue a life of freedom/independence?The actual lottery isn't hackable, but the career lottery is.A side hustle isn't just "nice," it's a necessity.Learn the difference between hard and soft skills (and which are more valuable in the long run).Don't think like a CEO -- think like a janitor.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/chris-guillebeau-born-episode-501/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Fridays, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right.AJ fills in for Jordan this time around, so let's cut to it!In this episode:The cold shoulder is a poor way to communicate. How do you react when you're on the receiving end of this faulty connection?As complicated as all other factors in your younger sibling's life seem to be, they'll better fall into place if you set the example of positive role model first.These are the narcissists in your neighborhood. But do they really think they're better than you, or is it the other way around?How do you work yourself out of the funk caused by the worries of "real" life when it's ruining the drive you used to have for pursuing regular exercise and a vibrant social life?Can a long-distance relationship based more on intellect and reason rather than passion survive?Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected] or even, thanks to our friends at Burner App, leave us a voicemail or text at (415) 429-1915!Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-56-becoming-a-better-role-model/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices