The Art of Charm

Kimberly Seltzer (@SeltzerKimberly) gives us her five-step process for finding a therapist who is right for you.The Cheat Sheet:We all need help from time to time; there's absolutely no shame in seeking therapy -- just as there's no shame in consulting a tutor if you need help getting through trigonometry or organic chemistry class.Finding a therapist is like finding a dentist or any other professional who will have a meaningful impact on your life. You want to make sure you have a comfortable relationship.How do we begin the search for a good therapist?Here are five steps you can take in preparation for finding the right therapist.Something a lot of people don't know: if you have insurance, it likely does cover some degree of therapy and overall mental health care. Contact your representative for specifics.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/kim-seltzer-how-to-find-a-therapist-bonus/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Alex Kouts (@akouts) returns to The Art of Charm to talk about how to get hired at a startup (and if the startup life might -- or might not -- be a good fit for you).The Cheat Sheet:What is a startup?How does a startup find a sustainable product/market fit?What kind of person chooses the potentially unstable startup life over the safer options their parents keep nagging them to consider?The startup life is not a get rich quick scheme -- if you choose it, you'll probably work harder than you ever have before (but with the potential rewards to match).Why aren't you getting any startup job offers even though you've submitted your resume dozens -- or hundreds -- of times online?And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/alex-kouts-getting-hired-at-a-startup-episode-455/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #33! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend!In this episode:Sometimes your partner will complain just to vent about something that's bothering them, and other times they want legitimate solutions to their problems. How do you tell one from the other?Emotional conditioning can be a powerful force. A listener with a PhD in psychology chimes in about some advice we gave in Fan Mail Friday #31.Is tragedy a prerequisite for success and wealth, or can normality ever hope to compete?What happens when you can talk the talk to find a partner, but your skills lack in the sack?Immigrant insecurity is a real thing -- and it comes with a whole tapestry of negative feelings about self and society that can be hard to overcome.Contrariwise is a real word, and lack of vulnerability might be what makes your attempts at a long-term relationship so...vulnerable.True success needs no comparisons.Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]!Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-33-contrariwise-bedroom-superheroes/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mark Manson (@iammarkmanson) is the author of Models: Attract Women Through Honesty, and he blogs to an audience of millions about psychology and personal development.The Cheat Sheet:Love is not enough; people prioritize love over other more important values, such as self-respect, trust, and boundaries.The relationship scorecard is toxic habit 1, where people feel as though they are always "owed" things by their partner.Boundaries basics: taking responsibility for your own thoughts/emotions and expecting your partner to take responsibility for theirs.World travel is both empowering and limiting; you gain new perspective, but it limits your ability to form commitments.Realizing that everything you do doesn't matter is a good thing, because it means you no longer have any excuses not to be who you wish to be.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/mark-manson-unconditional-communication-episode-454/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Zachary Stockill (@zfstockill) shows us how overcoming retroactive jealousy and possessiveness is as easy as learning to let go.The Cheat Sheet:All jealousy is related to insecurity in some way.How should we deal with the complex cultural politics of social media in 2015 as they relate to retroactive jealousy?What are your values?Jealousy and possessiveness often cause us to stay in unhealthy relationships for far too long.Is it fair to judge our partners based on their past? Or is the present all that really matters?And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/zachary-stockill-retroactive-jealousy-episode-453/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #32! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend!In this episode:While it might not be the end of the tunnel, it's good that you're seeing the light -- just make sure it's the right light.How do you practice genuine gratitude without coming across as a kiss-ass -- especially in the workplace?25-year-old virgins aren't as uncommon as you may think. (But if you're among them and you don't want to be, here are a few tips.)You may be aware that you're making progress in your life goals, but how do you quantify that progress?When you're giving a presentation, how do you deal with a question you don't really want to answer?How do you save time with one simple email?Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]!Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-32-advice-for-the-25-year-old-virgin/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Neil Strauss tells The Truth about past transgressions in his latest book, but it's more than just a head-cleaning confession -- it's an exploration of options most people probably haven't considered."Nobody's making you do anything. You have complete freedom of choice at all times. You just have to accept the consequences of that choice." -Neil StraussThe Cheat Sheet:We may look up to -- and even envy -- the rich and famous without realizing that fame just amplifies the flaws people already have. (05:59) We're not going on the line to say this is true in all cases, but many relationships get stronger after a tell-all confession. (08:18)What should you do first when you love your partner but you have a sexual desire for someone else? (12:11)How do people in non-traditional, non-monogamous relationships separate love and sex? (13:59)Two different people can be doing the exact same thing -- one for healthy reasons; the other for unhealthy reasons. But how? (24:28)And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/neil-strauss-the-truth-episode-452/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you can learn to tell a good story, you can captivate any audience -- whether as a public speaker, while interviewing for a job, or when you're on a date. "If there's one big piece of advice that I have -- albeit I have a lot of them -- it's: make sure that you are driven to tell the story that you're telling." -Amy Port The Cheat Sheet: Even the best, most personal story can be lost in the hands of a bad storyteller. (04:26) A good story is sculpted around Aristotle's three-act structure: exposition, conflict, and resolution. (05:59) What makes a story funny? (09:53) Where do we begin if we know we're not great storytellers? (14:33) What's your story's throughline (also, what the heck is a throughline)? (25:36) And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/amy-port-heroic-public-speaking-episode-451/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #31! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend!In this episode:How do you learn to trust yourself and your instincts (especially when it comes to money)?A doctor brings a medical perspective to some advice we gave a listener in a difficult relationship back in Fan Mail Friday #27.Do phrases like "staying at home" and "left at home" make it sound like the person raising the kids and maintaining the sanctuary is doing something less than the person who goes out and brings home the paycheck?How do you overcome a negative association with something that is unfairly lumped in with a bad experience?Stop asking if you can afford to leave a job you hate if the real question is: can you afford not to? It all depends on your risk tolerance.Sometimes the best treatment for a case of Imposter Syndrome is a dose of keeping it real.Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]!Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-31-homemakers-of-the-world-unite-and-take-over/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Every interaction is a performance -- whether you're speaking up in a meeting, pitching a client, negotiating a raise, or walking into a job interview. Michael Port tells us how to steal the show."There's a benefit to being chameleon-like." -Michael PortThe Cheat Sheet:At its core, a good performance is genuine. (08:10)How do we separate our desire for validation from a desire to get results? (14:58)An authentic performance requires clear objectives (20:50)Avoid talking in absolutes (it invalidates your arguments). (27:30)Choose early, and choose often. (34:42)And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/michael-port-steal-the-show-episode-450/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

By recognizing in our own behavior what keeps us from being resilient against life's obstacles, we're empowered to stop the cycle and focus on what it takes to become mentally stronger."Every time you take your eyes off of your own goals and you start resenting somebody else, it's another minute that you didn't spend working towards whatever it is you want to achieve." -Amy MorinThe Cheat Sheet:How do mental health and mental strength differ? (08:37)Being mentally strong is more about self-awareness than acting tough. (09:54)There are three parts to building mental strength: regulating thoughts, managing emotions, and behaving productively despite your circumstances. (11:41)What wastes our time and energy to keep us from becoming mentally strong? (13:03)You’re only as good as your worst habit. (13:29)And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/amy-morin-mentally-stronger-episode-449/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #30! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend!In this episode:Contrary to popular belief, a lot of intelligence agents have trouble pulling off the smooth James Bond routine when trying to genuinely interact with people in real life.Sometimes, being embarrassed by and hating your "old self" just means you've made progress. Still, don't be so hard on your old self -- he or she made the choice to become who you are today.Is it wrong to abandon your wallflower friends to mingle with the crowd in a social setting?When you're in a sales position, how do you sell yourself while staying authentic?How do you stop your impressionable cousin from joining a terrorist organization like, say, ISIS (or the Baseball Furies)?Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]!Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-30-social-chops-for-covert-ops/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you think of people who pursue their passions and make good money doing it as lucky? Chances are that Gary Vaynerchuk works a lot harder than you."Let me just clarify one thing -- I'm not lucky!" -Gary VaynerchukThe Cheat Sheet:How did a kid from the Cold War era communist Soviet Union manage to escape in the late '70s and become one of the hardest-working capitalists alive today? (06:03)For all of its flaws, the US is still a better place to seize opportunity than most of the rest of the world. (09:41)You may think you're a hard-working hustler, but how do you compare to a hard-working hustler from Belarus? (13:54)If you're comfortable living in a world that's convenient for your mindset, you're poised perfectly to lose. (18:40)Learn why Gary Vaynerchuk chose to open an office in Chattanooga, Tennessee. (25:31)And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/gary-vaynerchuk-climbing-the-ladder-episode-448/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Corporate culture is only as boring and stagnant -- or exciting and thriving -- as the people who create it."You can never really create culture...but you can design all these elements around it the same way you can design a house for the kind of interactions you want to have." -Robert RichmanThe Cheat Sheet:What is a culture architect? (03:53)Why should you care about corporate culture -- even if you don't own or work for a company? (08:10)How can hacker philosophy be adopted by people who feel powerless to change their existing culture? (14:35)Leaders and workers take note: a self-organizing workforce can be the most efficient, maximized workforce. (24:09)How do we develop relevance? (25:42)And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/robert-richman-the-culture-blueprint-bonus/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Stop worrying so much about where your inspiration is coming from and just create."People think that authors are writing exactly what they know, but I think a lot of times, authors are writing what they're trying to figure out." -Austin KleonThe Cheat Sheet:Are you more proud of the things you're doing today than the things you were doing a year ago? (04:52)Is any creative work truly original? (06:40)Most of your favorite artists are shameless thieves -- and will freely admit it. (09:37)What's the difference between being legitimately influenced by someone and ripping them off? (12:52)The Elevator Test is a simple ethical gut check that can help clarify whether you're invoking fair use or just being a plagiarist. (18:16)And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/austin-kleon-steal-like-an-artist-episode-447/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"What men and women did to each other was beyond comprehension." -Charles BukowskiWelcome to Fan Mail Friday #29! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend!In this episode:A new listener wants to know why we even have Fan Mail Friday. If we don't answer this to the satisfaction of any other listeners out there -- veterans or newcomers -- we'd like to hear from you!Show of hands: who in our audience is being kept at home against their will in the 21st century United States? (Let us know and we'll send a rescue party composed of your gender of choice at once!)Hey, you can talk crap about rampaging gunmen, ISIS, gang members, and racists all you want, but what did coal miners ever do to you? Risk life and limb to provide energy for you and your family so you wouldn't freeze and starve during the long winters? You're welcome.The only thing we're professionally embarrassed about is that it sometimes takes a controversial guest to provoke a big reaction. We appreciate all feedback -- whether good or bad -- but why do some long-time listeners remain silently supportive until they hear something they don't like? If you generally like what we do, we can always use positive reviews in iTunes and Stitcher. Please email [email protected] for instructions if you're wondering how!"That had not occurred to us, Dude."There's no guarantee that the transition from working a stable day job to becoming a full-time entrepreneur is ever going to be 100% safe, but there are considerations you can make and precautions you can take to ensure it goes as smoothly as possible.Some people use resources from The Art of Charm resources to escape the humdrum and pursue the lives they want -- and Marlon is one of our favorite examples. He reminds us why we do what we do.Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]!Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-29-thanks-for-that-challenging-viewpoint/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Meditation is for doers who seek personal top performance -- from entrepreneurs to professional athletes like Kobe Bryant."If you hand a top performer a potential advantage, they're going to try it." -Tony StubblebineThe Cheat Sheet:What benefits will life coaching offer the high-performing person vs. the low-performing person? (02:30)Meditation is more than a spiritual haven -- it's a mental strength exercise for people from hedge fund managers to professional athletes. (11:13)Three abilities are enhanced by meditation: awareness of your thoughts and emotions, control over your focus, and calm. (17:26)When meditating for mental strength, why will someone with a distracted, wandering mind get more out of the experience than someone who is too blissful and focused? (18:30)Tony guides us through a simple meditation. (39:55)And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/tony-stubblebine-ruthless-meditation-episode-446/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Your talents, abilities, and intelligence aren't fixed traits -- they can be expanded and improved at any age with a mindset motivated toward growth."It's exciting to be progressing and doing things you never thought you could do; it's less exciting to just keep proving yourself over and over -- often by staying in your comfort zone." -Dr. Carol DweckThe Cheat Sheet:Learn the differences between the fixed mindset and the growth mindset. (02::31)What's the first step toward breaking out of a fixed mindset once you've identified it within yourself? (08:05)How you define success helps pinpoint your dominant mindset. (10:24)By the same token, mindsets change the very meaning of failure. (16:58)How can we raise children to lean more toward a growth mindset than a fixed mindset? (24:48)And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/dr-carol-dweck-the-motivated-mindset-episode-445/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #28! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend!In this episode:If the pervasive drunken collegiate environment isn't offering any appealing friend/date prospects in your new town, you're probably playing below your league. Aim higher by considering these options you probably didn't realize you have.How does someone who's partially blind make up for the non-verbal communication cues they're missing out on when engaged in conversation?How do you screen for a potential partner who's as interested in improving themselves as much as you are without wasting too much time on those who aren't?Breaking the romantic connection with a casual partner who you still value as a friend can be rough if they're not getting the hint. Sometimes you just have to go beyond hints and directly address the situation.How does someone with a conservative mindset toward physical intimacy date in a world where casual sex is often accepted as part of the deal? What's the best way to find others who are more in tune with taking things slow?Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-28-stop-aiming-below-your-dating-league/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Even if it seems like you've got the world figured out and you should be loving life, you might be among a surprising number of high-performing people who find happiness, confidence, and connection elusive."The high performer only ever really sees the gap between themselves and everyone else -- and how much worse they are without realizing what's great about them." -Jason ConnellThe Cheat Sheet:Sleep deprivation isn't a status symbol. (04:24)Regarding motivation: do you usually find yourself being pushed toward a path of action, or pulled to it? (08:42)Take yourself on a date. (10:34)Indulge your inner kid (but avoid paintball). (18:53)Do you believe in magic? (30:18)And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/jason-connell-ignited-leadership-episode-444/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #27! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend!In this episode:The past may be the past, but it's the best indicator of what's to come when that friend with a troubled history becomes more than just a friend.A healthy, balanced group dynamic needs more than one person reaching out to make plans -- especially if you're that one person.If you feel guilty for making profit on something you used to give away for free, ask yourself this question: would you buy it?Are people more interested in being right than they are in finding the most correct answer? Is it hard for you to admit when you're wrong?Want to avoid feeling manipulative when drumming up business among connections? Dig your well before you're thirsty -- build your network before you need it (and be prepared to give before you take).Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-27-why-does-profit-make-me-feel-guilty/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Thinking big and acting bigger means doing hard work and owning your role -- leading by example while keeping your ego in check. But the rewards make it all worthwhile."That's what you have to start to learn about thinking big -- for any person or company, any age or size -- is to own who you are because you can." -Jeffrey HayzlettThe Cheat Sheet:What's the secret to success that the charlatans won't tell you? (5:37)Fear of failure (and not being willing to take risks) is almost always more dangerous than the actual consequences of failure. (6:45)Learn The Katelyn Rule and how it applies to thinking big and acting bigger. (12:09)Does your job meet your conditions of satisfaction? (17:25)Never lose sight of what's happening in your business -- clean your own bathroom! (22:52)And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/jeffrey-hayzlett-think-big-act-bigger-episode-442/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You don't have to quit your day job in order to follow your entrepreneurial aspirations."I live in a state of constant retirement." -Ben KovacsThe Cheat Sheet:What does the recreational fisherman know that the rich man does not?Working for "The Man" and pursuing entrepreneurial urgings don't have to be mutually exclusive concepts -- in fact, they can (and should) complement each other.You don't have to be rich or famous for people (from clients and investors to partners and workmates) to like you and want to hang out. You just have to be interesting and genuine.Being incredibly honest with yourself and others will force you to evaluate what you can do yourself and what requires help -- which allows you to get more done in a day than you once believed possible.Is what you're doing with your time helping you get more out of what you love from life, or taking it away?And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/ben-kovacs-everyone-is-an-entrepreneur-episode-441/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #26! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend!In this episode:What do you do when balding causes more than your hairline to recede?When is the most ideal time in your life to become an entrepreneur?Like practicing martial arts, picking up social dynamics skills won't turn you into a different person -- just a more confident one.Learning to English like Jordan may be hazardous to your job interview. (We recommend shadowing dialogue from Three's Company and Baywatch reruns.)Even if it gets you a dream job in the short term, telling a lie on your resume or unjustly badmouthing competition may haunt you for decades.What's the benefit of information binging -- like listening to an Art of Charm podcast marathon or reading 10 books on self-improvement over the weekend -- if you can't apply everything you learn?Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-26-receding-confidence-and-short-term-ethics/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You don't have to be afraid of math (or anything) when you adapt techniques that make you excel at other things. "You can do way more than you think you can do." -Barbara Oakley The Cheat Sheet: Why is following your passion not always your best option? (10:35) Gaining smooth, practiced "chunks" of knowledge is invaluable in art, sports, math, language -- and even charm. (19:50) Is "mathphobia" a global phenomenon? (21:05) Why do we procrastinate, and what can we do to fend it off? (23:56) Learn how to get motivated instead of overwhelmed. (29:54) And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/barbara-oakley-learning-how-to-learn-episode-440/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover how lessons learned by a special forces veteran can be applied to the worlds of business, finance, strategy, and marketing."It's not survival of the fittest; it's survival of the most adaptable." -Robert Patrick LewisThe Cheat Sheet:The worst time to plan for an emergency is after it's already happened.Understand the importance of teamwork, but be prepared to rely on your own strengths and adapt to a situation for those times when teamwork falls through.How much could you write if you never had writer's block?Why is there a disconnect between veterans and the HR departments of companies that want to hire them?How can military and combat experience be used in the business world?And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/robert-patrick-lewis-green-beret-mba-episode-439/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you want to write a book that creates a movement, earns you a fortune, and changes the world, you need to think beyond the bestseller."The best time to start was yesterday; the next-best time to start is today." -Hal ElrodThe Cheat Sheet:What's the difference between a book that enjoys momentary success as a bestseller and one that endures to influence people for years to come?What's the number one nugget of advice that can make this difference for the aspiring author?How can you build a 'pay it forward' element into your content?What is the most convenient way to assemble your readership community?Do you know what authors are finding to be the number one way to market their books once they're launched?And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/hal-elrod-beyond-the-bestseller-bonus/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #25! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend!In this episode:You can't hold a whole fraternity responsible for the behavior of a few sick, twisted individuals.Find out what happened when George followed our advice about lending money to an irresponsible sibling.You won't miss with the Swiss if you listen to this.Solid work experience now makes bad grades of the past matter less.How can you hang with the wolves and not the runts?Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-25-why-the-frat-hate-bro/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Think you have a lousy time remembering things? You're probably not giving your brain enough credit. According to this expert, it's never too late to expand your capacity for memory."Definitely everyone can dramatically improve their memory from where it currently is with the right training and practice." -Chester SantosThe Cheat Sheet:Even the worst memory can be improved dramatically -- at any age.Learn how you can (and why you should) give speeches and presentations without any notes.What forgotten (and practical) skill can help you spark the powers of recollection?Use all your senses to build a map for remembering.You'll be as surprised as we were at how one memory trick can make a seemingly impossible task ridiculously easy within minutes!And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/chester-santos-international-man-of-memory-episode-438/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Self-doubt is normal, but it can be overwritten. Harness the innate ability of the confident brain to grow and learn over time to change your life for the better."The brain is velcro for the bad and teflon for the good." -Rick HansonThe Cheat Sheet:What's the difference between a neuropsychologist and a run-of-the-mill psychologist?Did you know you have a lizard, a mouse, and a monkey inside of your skull?Evolutionary psychology tells us the brain is velcro for the bad and teflon for the good. How can we overcome this negativity bias?From state to trait: how to encode beneficial experiences to start rewiring the brain.Learn how to follow the HEAL steps to make sure your brain is Taking in the Good.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/rick-hanson-taking-in-the-good-episode-437/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #24! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend!In this episode:Is hitting on women disrespectful?Listener JT has a funny (but possibly effective) solution to the "how do I disengage from the friends I've outgrown?" conundrum.Teaching kids value seems more important than the contrast between scarcity and abundance. (But we're not parents, so what do we know?)Is loaning money and a book about financial advice to an economically irresponsible sibling too heavy handed?What is the Jordan Harbinger rebuttal to the "oh, how nice for you" phenomenon?Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-24-an-unappealing-invitation/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Don't let "success" get in the way of living a life that maximizes your impact and happiness."Do you really want to devote your life to the single-minded pursuit of a particular goal where you have a less than 50 percent chance of achieving it, and where you've left no room in your life for things that will actually make you happy?" -Chris YehThe Cheat Sheet:How do you deal with the psychological challenges of entrepreneurship?Learn the importance of great relationships -- personal and professional -- to happiness and success (and how to build them).How do you find meaning in your work and life?Discover why self-awareness and self-improvement are the keys to living a fulfilled life.See what it's like recruiting, managing, and retaining great people during a fierce war for talent.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/chris-yeh-entrepreneurial-alliance-episode-436/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Accomplish more of the things you want to do with the power of the hustle."When I arrived here, I was so painfully clueless; I arrived at San Francisco International Airport asking someone how to get to Silicon Valley." -Steli EftiThe Cheat Sheet:The formula of the hustle: show up, follow up, and follow through.Emotional alchemy: how to turn fear into courage.How do you make yourself do things when you don't feel like doing them?How can you get people committed to your mission?How becoming good at sales can help grow your bank account -- and your personality.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/steli-efti-the-art-of-hustle-bonus/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Think like a negotiator in all aspects of life and create win-win results by understanding the pitfalls to avoid."That's all negotiation is -- basically a technical term for discussions and conversations to reach an agreement." -Eldonna Lewis FernandezThe Cheat Sheet:Silence is a powerful weapon in negotiation.A negotiation is an agreement.Are the principles of persuasion the same across geography and culture?Go to garage sales to practice negotiation with almost no risk.How can mock negotiations help you practice before the real deal?And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/eldonna-lewis-fernandez-dont-negotiate-with-crazy-episode-435/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #23In this episode:You can give her enough space to fly a rocketship, but she's already moved on. You should, too.Another listener chimes in with some positive thoughts about the 9-5 routine we talked about last week.Barfights only look like a lot of fun in Burt Reynolds '80s movies.At least one listener came away from our Chris Edwards interview with a better understanding of transgender issues.For someone considering attending our program in L.A., we clarify that The Art of Charm is about removing masks, not giving people new ones.A wellness entrepreneur learns some valuable lessons about better networking.Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-23-caveman-biology-lessons/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you want to get, you've got to give. And if you want to give, you're already ahead in the game of true success. "I didn't know what I wanted to do, but I knew what I didn't want to do at an early age." -Aaron Walker The Cheat Sheet: When considering true success, it's important to aim for significance. A healthy balance between life and work isn't some far-fetched myth. How can competitors be your strongest allies? Why is it important to keep in touch with former colleagues? Having an impact on others pays more dividends than self-absorption. And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/aaron-walker-steps-to-a-productive-day-episode-434 HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Entrepreneur or not, when it comes to seeking a path in life, ignoring the power of your own potential is downright criminal."Entrepreneurs and founders are like chaotic Ferraris; we just know how to build and create at speeds that...do not make sense to big companies." -Dan MartellThe Cheat Sheet:What does "hustle to help" mean?Failure is part of the road to success.Why shouldn't you seek business advice from your parents?Motivation trumps knowledge.The company you keep really does have an impact on your success -- for better or worse.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/dan-martell-hustle-to-help-episode-433/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #22In this episode:How do you know when your own red flags are a problem?Why are so many people content with the 9-to-5?How do you kick a substance like Adderall (or caffeine) when it seems to maximize your brainpower?And more!Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-22-twice-as-bright-half-as-long/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Technology is progressing so quickly that science fact is catching up with what was recently only imaginable as science fiction. Welcome to the 21st century."The invention of the future is a war, make no mistake." -Steven KotlerThe Cheat Sheet:The line between technology and biology is getting thinner and thinner.What is mind uploading?Biotechnology is now moving at five times the speed of Moore's Law -- in other words, it's doubling in power every four months.What transformative effect will bionics have on our culture?Thanks to advances in technology, you gain five hours of life expectancy every day.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/steven-kotler-from-sci-fi-to-sci-fact-bonus/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Using techniques developed by the Marines makes reading nonverbal cues to identify potential threats very straightforward."Somewhere between 60-90 percent of all communication is nonverbal. If you're making a decision in the absence of 60-90 percent of everything you could gather about a situation or person, are you really making an informed judgment?" -Patrick Van HorneThe Cheat Sheet:Can you determine threats by reading nonverbal cues?Discover how to observe people and situations with the Baseline + Anomaly = Decision process.Learn the four pillars of observable behavior and specifically the four ways to observe and assess individual people.Know how to assign a person to the dominant, submissive, uncomfortable, and comfortable clusters.Further master the process and trust your gut instincts about potential threats.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/patrick-van-horne-left-of-bang-episode-432/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Technology can save you a lot of time -- when it's not helping you waste it. Break tech addiction by learning how it gets you hooked in the first place."I need to use what I know about human behavior and consumer psychology to put technology in its place." -Nir EyalThe Cheat Sheet:Does technology work for you, or are you working for technology?Learn how and why habit-forming devices and apps are developed.What are the triggers in your life?Discover how variable rewards train you like some kind of nervously pecking lab pigeon.How can you prevent "investing" in bad habits?And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/nir-eyal-hooked-on-technology-episode-431/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #21In this episode:Anonymous commenter about the Chris Edwards show.Workplace harassment in the kitchen.How to handle a girlfriend who want's you to fight for her honor.Review of the week.Click here to support the show at our sponsor Lynda.com!Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-21-complaining-about-ridiculous-terrible-things/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You don't have to be shackled to your programming. Learn to identify and move beyond the Man Rules for genuine relationships and a more emotionally fulfilling life."The cultural expectations for men have risen dramatically while the guidance for us has changed very little." -Dan GriffinThe Cheat Sheet:Understand how the Man Rules are affecting your life -- which ones are working for you and which ones are working against you.What's the Relationship Dichotomy?The Sex Funnel's not just another ride at the amusement park on the wrong side of the tracks.Shame and vulnerability: the yin and yang of connection?Learn how trauma affects men's relationships.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/dan-griffin-man-rules-episode-430/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hesitant to make important life changes based on what other people might think of you? Take control of how you're perceived and rebrand yourself -- on your own terms. "No one would ever choose to put themselves through this unless it was critical to their identity." -Chris Edwards The Cheat Sheet: Stop fearing what others think about the important changes you need to make in your life. Learn how branding principles helped an advertising creative director make a very public transition from female to male with relative ease. Transgender surgery: what's appropriate to ask, what isn't, and why. You don't have to let one major life event define you (unless you want it to). On the subject of balls: find out why it takes some to get some! And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/chris-edwards-the-balls-to-rebrand-episode-429/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #20In this episode:How to let go of negative people in your social circle.Why the AoC programs are based in LA.Where are all the cute people in my town?How can you reduce the chances of a sudden negative personality shift soon after marriage.New segment! Review of the week.Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-20/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Conduct your business with integrity and people will know you as a problem solver instead of just another charlatan trying to sell them stuff. "Trust is more important than like." -Ian Altman The Cheat Sheet: Nobody likes being sold to -- in business or in life. It's all about finding a fit. Are you working, or doing your life's work? Use your unique talents to deliver extraordinary results. Define a niche and value that has endless rewards. When you ask for advice, are you seeking validation or real input? How to ask great questions when hiring salespeople... or when applying for a job. What two questions can you ask to uncover the truth in competitive business situations or relationships? And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/ian-altman-grow-my-revenue-episode-427/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #19In this episode:Don't let insecurities and low self-esteem torpedo your relationships.Are communications with your ex-girlfriend above board?What does it mean when your ex-fiance keeps texting you?If you treat a woman well what are you entitled to? The answer may surprise you...The amazing story of Samia Yusuf Omar.Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-19/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Having a baby is a stressful, transformative experience for even the most prepared couples. Here, we talk about how to survive the ordeals -- and enjoy the rewards -- of parenthood together."During that [first] three months, you're so tired...you don't even have time to notice there are problems in the relationship." -Marni KinrysThe Cheat Sheet:Why have a baby in the first place? How do you know when you're ready?Pregnancy brain and mommy brain -- why it's real and why it can hurt your relationship.Why babies and women are not always a match made in Heaven.How women feel after having a baby -- struggles, lower confidence, confused identity.What can men can do to help women get through this period of time?And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/marni-kinrys-your-wing-girl-episode-426/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most of us are taught to chase opportunity, but a Person of Interest gets opportunity to chase them. "'Person of Interest' is how you flip the script and become a buyer vs. a seller." -Coach Burt The Cheat Sheet: Why does everyone need a life coach? Do you have the ingredients to become a Person of Interest? Learn why you should never answer the question "What do you do?" (It's a trap!) Would you rather find out if someone's worth your time in 15 months, or 15 seconds? Underestimate yourself at the peril of becoming a commodity. And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/coach-burt-becoming-a-person-of-interest-episode-425/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this one:Getting job recommendations.Dealing with non-reciprocating friends.Conquer the fear of flying.And more.More at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices