The Art of Charm

Think like a negotiator in all aspects of life and create win-win results by understanding the pitfalls to avoid."That's all negotiation is -- basically a technical term for discussions and conversations to reach an agreement." -Eldonna Lewis FernandezThe Cheat Sheet:Silence is a powerful weapon in negotiation.A negotiation is an agreement.Are the principles of persuasion the same across geography and culture?Go to garage sales to practice negotiation with almost no risk.How can mock negotiations help you practice before the real deal?And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/eldonna-lewis-fernandez-dont-negotiate-with-crazy-episode-435/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #23In this episode:You can give her enough space to fly a rocketship, but she's already moved on. You should, too.Another listener chimes in with some positive thoughts about the 9-5 routine we talked about last week.Barfights only look like a lot of fun in Burt Reynolds '80s movies.At least one listener came away from our Chris Edwards interview with a better understanding of transgender issues.For someone considering attending our program in L.A., we clarify that The Art of Charm is about removing masks, not giving people new ones.A wellness entrepreneur learns some valuable lessons about better networking.Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-23-caveman-biology-lessons/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you want to get, you've got to give. And if you want to give, you're already ahead in the game of true success. "I didn't know what I wanted to do, but I knew what I didn't want to do at an early age." -Aaron Walker The Cheat Sheet: When considering true success, it's important to aim for significance. A healthy balance between life and work isn't some far-fetched myth. How can competitors be your strongest allies? Why is it important to keep in touch with former colleagues? Having an impact on others pays more dividends than self-absorption. And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/aaron-walker-steps-to-a-productive-day-episode-434 HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Entrepreneur or not, when it comes to seeking a path in life, ignoring the power of your own potential is downright criminal."Entrepreneurs and founders are like chaotic Ferraris; we just know how to build and create at speeds that...do not make sense to big companies." -Dan MartellThe Cheat Sheet:What does "hustle to help" mean?Failure is part of the road to success.Why shouldn't you seek business advice from your parents?Motivation trumps knowledge.The company you keep really does have an impact on your success -- for better or worse.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/dan-martell-hustle-to-help-episode-433/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #22In this episode:How do you know when your own red flags are a problem?Why are so many people content with the 9-to-5?How do you kick a substance like Adderall (or caffeine) when it seems to maximize your brainpower?And more!Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-22-twice-as-bright-half-as-long/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Technology is progressing so quickly that science fact is catching up with what was recently only imaginable as science fiction. Welcome to the 21st century."The invention of the future is a war, make no mistake." -Steven KotlerThe Cheat Sheet:The line between technology and biology is getting thinner and thinner.What is mind uploading?Biotechnology is now moving at five times the speed of Moore's Law -- in other words, it's doubling in power every four months.What transformative effect will bionics have on our culture?Thanks to advances in technology, you gain five hours of life expectancy every day.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/steven-kotler-from-sci-fi-to-sci-fact-bonus/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Using techniques developed by the Marines makes reading nonverbal cues to identify potential threats very straightforward."Somewhere between 60-90 percent of all communication is nonverbal. If you're making a decision in the absence of 60-90 percent of everything you could gather about a situation or person, are you really making an informed judgment?" -Patrick Van HorneThe Cheat Sheet:Can you determine threats by reading nonverbal cues?Discover how to observe people and situations with the Baseline + Anomaly = Decision process.Learn the four pillars of observable behavior and specifically the four ways to observe and assess individual people.Know how to assign a person to the dominant, submissive, uncomfortable, and comfortable clusters.Further master the process and trust your gut instincts about potential threats.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/patrick-van-horne-left-of-bang-episode-432/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Technology can save you a lot of time -- when it's not helping you waste it. Break tech addiction by learning how it gets you hooked in the first place."I need to use what I know about human behavior and consumer psychology to put technology in its place." -Nir EyalThe Cheat Sheet:Does technology work for you, or are you working for technology?Learn how and why habit-forming devices and apps are developed.What are the triggers in your life?Discover how variable rewards train you like some kind of nervously pecking lab pigeon.How can you prevent "investing" in bad habits?And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/nir-eyal-hooked-on-technology-episode-431/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #21In this episode:Anonymous commenter about the Chris Edwards show.Workplace harassment in the kitchen.How to handle a girlfriend who want's you to fight for her honor.Review of the week.Click here to support the show at our sponsor Lynda.com!Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-21-complaining-about-ridiculous-terrible-things/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You don't have to be shackled to your programming. Learn to identify and move beyond the Man Rules for genuine relationships and a more emotionally fulfilling life."The cultural expectations for men have risen dramatically while the guidance for us has changed very little." -Dan GriffinThe Cheat Sheet:Understand how the Man Rules are affecting your life -- which ones are working for you and which ones are working against you.What's the Relationship Dichotomy?The Sex Funnel's not just another ride at the amusement park on the wrong side of the tracks.Shame and vulnerability: the yin and yang of connection?Learn how trauma affects men's relationships.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/dan-griffin-man-rules-episode-430/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hesitant to make important life changes based on what other people might think of you? Take control of how you're perceived and rebrand yourself -- on your own terms. "No one would ever choose to put themselves through this unless it was critical to their identity." -Chris Edwards The Cheat Sheet: Stop fearing what others think about the important changes you need to make in your life. Learn how branding principles helped an advertising creative director make a very public transition from female to male with relative ease. Transgender surgery: what's appropriate to ask, what isn't, and why. You don't have to let one major life event define you (unless you want it to). On the subject of balls: find out why it takes some to get some! And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/chris-edwards-the-balls-to-rebrand-episode-429/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #20In this episode:How to let go of negative people in your social circle.Why the AoC programs are based in LA.Where are all the cute people in my town?How can you reduce the chances of a sudden negative personality shift soon after marriage.New segment! Review of the week.Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-20/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Conduct your business with integrity and people will know you as a problem solver instead of just another charlatan trying to sell them stuff. "Trust is more important than like." -Ian Altman The Cheat Sheet: Nobody likes being sold to -- in business or in life. It's all about finding a fit. Are you working, or doing your life's work? Use your unique talents to deliver extraordinary results. Define a niche and value that has endless rewards. When you ask for advice, are you seeking validation or real input? How to ask great questions when hiring salespeople... or when applying for a job. What two questions can you ask to uncover the truth in competitive business situations or relationships? And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/ian-altman-grow-my-revenue-episode-427/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #19In this episode:Don't let insecurities and low self-esteem torpedo your relationships.Are communications with your ex-girlfriend above board?What does it mean when your ex-fiance keeps texting you?If you treat a woman well what are you entitled to? The answer may surprise you...The amazing story of Samia Yusuf Omar.Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-19/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Having a baby is a stressful, transformative experience for even the most prepared couples. Here, we talk about how to survive the ordeals -- and enjoy the rewards -- of parenthood together."During that [first] three months, you're so tired...you don't even have time to notice there are problems in the relationship." -Marni KinrysThe Cheat Sheet:Why have a baby in the first place? How do you know when you're ready?Pregnancy brain and mommy brain -- why it's real and why it can hurt your relationship.Why babies and women are not always a match made in Heaven.How women feel after having a baby -- struggles, lower confidence, confused identity.What can men can do to help women get through this period of time?And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/marni-kinrys-your-wing-girl-episode-426/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most of us are taught to chase opportunity, but a Person of Interest gets opportunity to chase them. "'Person of Interest' is how you flip the script and become a buyer vs. a seller." -Coach Burt The Cheat Sheet: Why does everyone need a life coach? Do you have the ingredients to become a Person of Interest? Learn why you should never answer the question "What do you do?" (It's a trap!) Would you rather find out if someone's worth your time in 15 months, or 15 seconds? Underestimate yourself at the peril of becoming a commodity. And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/coach-burt-becoming-a-person-of-interest-episode-425/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this one:Getting job recommendations.Dealing with non-reciprocating friends.Conquer the fear of flying.And more.More at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you learn to think like the top one percent of people who get things done, procrastination is a virtue on par with patience -- and an essential part of your time management strategy."Automation is to your time exactly what compounding interest is to your money." -Rory VadenThe Cheat Sheet:Everything you know about time management is wrong.How can you use your time in a way today that creates more time tomorrow?Time management is as emotional as it is logical.Learn the five permissions you need to give yourself in order to achieve more in less time.Find out how the 30x Rule can give you a 733% ROTI (Return On Time Invested)!And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/rory-vaden-procrastinate-on-purpose-episode-424/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Even if you don't believe in yourself, the sleeping genius within you does -- and comes equipped with a backlog of ideas you didn't even know you had."While we live in an age that is demanding breakthroughs, we live in an age that paradoxically refuses to allow us the time to achieve them." -Judah PollackThe Cheat Sheet:How can we harness the power of associative thinking to awaken our inner genius?Why is self loathing a uniquely modern western phenomenon?Cursed with success? Learn how to overcome The Imposter Syndrome.Make the Default Mode Network (DMN) work for you instead of against you.Why should a busy person find the time to take regular walks?And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/judah-pollack-hack-your-inner-genius-episode-423/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this one:How to keep calm inside and out.Why isn't there a show like this for women?Does alcohol matter?And more. Oh, and Maaaaazda...More at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If being parked in a bad dating pattern is your idea of a comfort zone, consider how a little discomfort will take you to a far better place."Imagine two dysfunctional puzzle pieces out in the universe with a magnet..." -Marni BattistaThe Cheat Sheet:If you want to date out of your league, you just have to be 10% better than 90% of the guys out there.10 things women wish you knew.How can we stop terrible dating patterns?Why do we keep dating people who are bad for us?Screening out the crazies (or screening them in, if that's what you're into).And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/marni-battista-advice-from-a-crazy-ex-girlfriend-episode-422/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For better or worse, we mirror the company that we keep. Here's how we maximize its quality for the best reflection."I'm selective with second chances, but I'm always willing to give a first chance." -AJ HarbingerThe Cheat Sheet:Are you due for a friend audit?How do you tell the difference between "high value" and "low value" people?Learn how high value people build you up and low value people tear you down.Where do you land on the Value Scale?Low value people identifiers: the red flags.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/aoc-toolbox-screening-and-qualifying-episode-420/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The truth about the modern economy: you make your own credentials (and you don't need a middleman anymore)."All the advice from our parents is just absolutely wrong." -Dorie ClarkThe Cheat Sheet:The game of achieving success today has different rules than it did for our parents and grandparents.How does someone get recognized as a "thought leader?"How do you find and spread your own breakthrough idea?Innovation doesn't have to be difficult.Use the Niche Strategy to carve out your own area of expertise (and discover new ones).And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/dorie-clark-stand-out-episode-419/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's never too late to shed a lousy job description. Learn to bridge the direct experience gap and stop enduring work you hate."It's painful to learn new stuff, [but] I learned how to surf and snowboard at 40!" -Kevin KermesThe Cheat Sheet:Why it's critical to translate your skills (and the #1 way people fail when trying).How can you stand out and avoid becoming a commodity?Mentor relationships require as much give as take.What is the direct experience gap, and how can you bridge it?Learn the XYZ technique to gauge the needs of potential employers and determine how your skillset can apply -- even if your background is in a completely different field.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/kevin-kermes-bridge-the-direct-experience-gap-episode-418/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this one: -How do I have a tough conversation with my boss? -Why Special K cereal is sexist -And more, natch' Show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-16/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

To succeed, focus on what you want and how to get it, nothing more."Your beliefs really shape what you do or don't do." -Olaniyi SobomehinThe Cheat Sheet:When does discipline really count?Why success isn't as complicated as most people think.A practical exercise to turn fear into confidence.Why physiology plays such a significant role in our emotional state.How to get comfortable with pressure and discomfort.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/olaniyi-sobomehin-im-not-you-episode-417/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tragedy is not a choice; learning how to thrive in its aftermath is. "When you get thrown out of a car going 80, you usually leave a little bit of skin on the pavement." -Cole Hatter The Cheat Sheet: How can you ensure that tragedy creates rather than conquers? You don't have to give up the dream life to help others live theirs. What's the difference between a non-profit and for-purpose business? Literally 'buy happiness' by learning how to build a cause that resonates with you into your business model. Discover the real meaning of "R&D" and how to land meetings with even the most inaccessible captains of your industry. And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/cole-hatter-survive-and-thrive-episode-416/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Rapport takes time, patience and vulnerability. "You have to be interested to be interesting." - Johnny Dzubak The Cheat Sheet: Why you have to be vulnerable to connect. The three levels of rapport-building. What is floodlighting? How to build rapport if you're shy or introverted. Why making mistakes is the best way to learn. And so much more… Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/aoc-toolbox-rapport-episode-415/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most of us have been taught some BS about sexual desire. "The way to become a person's type is to treat them in a way that makes them feel really, really good." -Dr. Emily Nagoski The Cheat Sheet: Why women are easier to turn off than men. What is yucking people's yums? Dr. Emily explains how fetishes develop. How orgasms are like riding a bicycle. The REAL physical signs she's close to orgasm. And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/dr-emily-nagoski-come-as-you-are-episode-414/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We can rejuvenate our cells and avoid aging. "We have a clear moral obligation to get these therapies developed as quickly as possible." -Dr. Aubrey de Grey The Cheat Sheet: Dr. Aubrey de Grey explains why breathing is bad for us (really). Is a 4-digit lifespan truly possible? 100,000 people die every day from old age: true or false? Which country spends $30 billion dollars every year on medical research? Will rejuvenation only be available for the wealthy? And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/dr-aubrey-de-grey-how-we-can-avoid-aging-episode-413/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Curiosity about everything makes you ready for anything."There isn't a person alive who doesn't think they're interesting. My job is to make that 'interesting' come out." -Larry KingThe Cheat Sheet:What traits come naturally to a good broadcaster -- and can these traits be taught?"Just be yourself" is more than the cop-out advice you probably think it is.How does someone decades past retirement age not only keep doing what they love, but keep loving what they do?What's the deal with Larry King's trademark mic and suspenders?What innovations would a man who's lived through most of the 20th century like to see in the 21st?And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/larry-king-curiosity-is-king-episode-412HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this one: -What do I do when someone really "gets my goat"? -Does AoC take BitCoin? -Is it important to drink when I go out? -Should I call people out when I see them doing something wrong? HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. Ways to subscribe to The Art of Charm Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS You can also subscribe via Stitcher FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email [email protected] Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Banter is a muscle to be flexed daily. "A man who stands for nothing will fall for anything." -Malcolm X The Cheat Sheet: Do you always have to be funny to create banter? What is the conversation formula? What are the three traits you want to embody through banter? What is "yes and" and how does it apply to bantering? How can you practice banter? And so much more… One of the keys to connecting with anyone is banter. Whether you're hanging out at your third place or you're out with your boys and spot a girl you'd like to chat up, banter is the best way to strike up a conversation. On this toolbox episode of The Art of Charm we'll talk about the 3 characteristics you embody through banter, how to keep it playful throughout and why you don't have to be funny to be good at banter. Click Here to Support The Show and Check Out HostGator! More About This Show: Banter is a playful, lighthearted conversation between two strangers to ease the tension of getting acquainted, in this episode we're primarily discussing how to use it to chat up a woman you haven't met before. There are three traits or aspects of your personality you'll be highlighting when using banter: your playful side, your lack of need for others' approval and your sexual side. 1. Your playful side.You open the conversation with this side of you. Ask her a question like what is she drinking? Who is she here with? Why is she out tonight? A who, what, where, when, why or how question is a good opener. When she answers come back with something playful. Like if you ask her what's drinking and she says cosmo, tell her it'll never work between you because your last girlfriend drank cosmos and she was a lush. Make it playful, smile with your lips and your eyes when you respond and you'll put her at ease and you'll also be giving her a role to play. 2. You don't seek others' approval. This part of bantering comes next and it's done by misinterpreting what she says to you. Again, always smiling with your eyes and your mouth when you respond to let her know you're being silly, playful and yet you are your own man who isn't reliant on the approval of others, without, of course, overcompensating. There is a fine line between a charming rogue and a boorish try-hard. 3. Sexual. We'll let you learn directly from the AoC coaches during the show for this one. Those are the three traits and the order in which to highlight them. You'll want to practice these to get good at them, banter is definitely a muscle to be used daily. An improv class is a great way to practice banter, and so is chatting up people you interact with every day. Check it out on this edition of The Art of Charm. THANKS AOC! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let us know by clicking on the link below and sending us a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank AOC on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Attraction Toolbox episode The Art of Charm on Twitter Other AOC Toolbox episodes The Art of Charm bootcamps Also sponsored by: You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast On your phone? Click here to write us a well-deserved iTunes review and help us outrank the riffraff! Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

According to The Way of the Peaceful Warrior author Dan Millman, everyone is a peaceful warrior in training. "Heroes and cowards feel exactly the same fear, they just respond differently." -Cus D'Amato The Cheat Sheet: Why doesn't Dan Millman like to use the word spirituality? What is FAST defense? Do you have to travel in order to grow? How to act with kindness, bravery or other emotion, even if you don't feel it. What is Dan's "outside in" approach to growth? And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/dan-millman-the-way-of-the-peaceful-warrior/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Getting a no is part of the process to get a yes."No one ever died from getting a no." -Andrea WaltzThe Cheat Sheet:Why did her husband propose while she was trying on shoes in Macy's?How to reframe your model of failure and success.The one simple way to get in the top 10% of business.What is focused failure and how can you implement it?The key to dealing with fear of failure in the moment.And so much more...For most of our lives we've been programmed to go for the yes. But what if getting a yes was as simple as getting more noes? Our guest today says it is, and she's got the evidence to prove it!Andrea Waltz, author of Go For No, joins us for episode 404 of The Art of Charm to talk about how to reframe our experience of the word no and failure, how to get our egos out of the way when we get a no, how to set no goals and how to practically apply all of this in our career and personal lives.Click Here to Support The Show and Check Out HostGator!More About This ShowAndrea Waltz is an international speaker and author who teaches people how to go for no. She fell in love with the idea of seeing no as a way to success. After a story her now-husband shared with her she realized mediocre results and mediocre lives occur because people avoid getting noes. They see a no as a failure, rather than part of the process on the way to success.On today's episode she shares how to reframe your model of success and failure to create more ease and more success, what focused failure is and how to overcome fear in the moment to take action.Most of us have been told from early on that no is a bad thing. It means you've done something wrong and you're being rejected. But Andrea encourages you to see a no as a good thing, see it for what it is: part of the process on the road to success.In fact she says setting no goals is beneficial: pick a number of noes you want to get in a week and then go for it. As you get those noes and hit your goals you should celebrate them, and look for feedback. Why are people saying no? Ask the people who say no what you could've done or said differently to get a yes.When you use that approach, whether in business or dating or anywhere else in your life, you'll be more at ease. You're more likely to feel tense and have tense interactions if you are focused on a yes. But if you're actively seeking noes then you're okay with whatever response you get, and that creates a sense of confidence.And that's part of focused failure: setting a no goal, getting feedback from all the noes, receiving that feedback without letting your ego get the better of you and then implementing that feedback in your next quest for noes. Andrea says to test fast, try fast and fail fast: that is how you achieve success.Andrea also explains how she and her husband celebrate noes, why deep breathing helps overcome fears and helps you go for no, and whether or not other cultures view no differently. Check it out on today's episode of The Art of Charm.THANKS ANDREA WALTZ!If you enjoyed this session with Andrea Waltz, let her know by clicking on the link below and sending her a quick shout out on Twitter:Click here to thank Andrea on Twitter!Resources from this episode:Andrea Waltz's web siteGo For No, Andrea Waltz's bookAndrea Waltz on TwitterThe Art of Charm bootcampsAlso sponsored by:You'll also like:-The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm PodcastWanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. Ways to subscribe to The Art of Charm Click here to subscribe via iTunesClick here to subscribe via RSSYou can also subscribe via Stitcher FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhoneEmail [email protected] us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Todd Herman (@todd_herman) explains why high performers think differently -- but not in the way you expect. "Try not to become a man of success, but rather become a man of value." -Albert Einstein The Cheat Sheet: Are we meant to be in the zone all the time? Do high performers battle depression more or less than everyone else? How Walt Disney knew if he had a great idea or a crappy one. Todd Herman explains why goals beyond 90 days are useless. What is the biggest myth in society today? And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/todd-herman-the-power-of-negative-thinking-episode-401/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #14! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend! In this episode: Why don’t you just do a digital/virtual bootcamp so we don’t have to travel? My company might be hiring to replace me. What do I do? How is AoC different from Scientology? My boyfriend won’t help pay my bills. How do I become a professional dating guru/instructor? And more! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. Ways to subscribe to The Art of Charm Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS You can also subscribe via Stitcher FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email [email protected] Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As Ramit Sethi (@ramit) knows, mindset comes first, then networking, then success. "Top performers in one field want to meet top performers in other fields." -Ramit Sethi The Cheat Sheet: What is curated value and how does it apply to networking? The three letters that cut down Ramit Sethi's email by 30%. Why did Ramit turn down an offer to work at Google? What is the Seagull Theory, and why does it matter? What uncomfortable truth did Guy Kawasaki once tell Ramit? And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/ramit-sethi-the-real-truth-about-networking-and-success-episode-399/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this one: How do I follow my passion? Work life balance isn't real Tim sykes is a scammer? What's the deal with that shampoo? HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email [email protected] Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this one: -Focus is a double-edged sword -Jordan talks too much -Chris needs to grow a set HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email [email protected] Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this one: -She asks: "Should he be with me or his ex?" -"How can I show her I am a changed man?" -"Wah wah wah the ads for the sponsors are annoying." HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email [email protected] Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you're serious about advancing your career and yourself, you have to be serious about your communication and speaking skills. Here, Alex Kouts gives us the edge we need to communicate well. The Cheat Sheet: What is the Rule of Threes and how does it apply to communication? How many presentations are given every hour around the world? Alex explains how and when to use humor in communication. Learn how to properly use visuals when speaking. What the Challenger disaster can teach us about slides. And so much more... Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/alex-kouts-the-art-of-public-speaking-episode-393/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this one: -"What do I do with my life and how do I find out what that is? How can I play to my strengths?" -"Should I work smarter or harder? I hear a lot about both" -y mas! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email [email protected] Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What matters most is why you do what you do. Simon Sinek, best-selling author and visionary, joins us to talk about how to start with why and how to be a leader on episode 392 of The Art of Charm. The Cheat Sheet: What are the three levels our brain processes information? When we take work we love, we eventually make more money: true? What is shareholder supremacy and why doesn't it work? What was the Glass-Steagall Act? Can you still be a leader if you are not the boss? And so much more… Far too many of us go to jobs we don't love today. Have you ever wondered if there's a cost to doing so? Or if there really is a way to enjoy, even love, the work we do every day? Our guest for today's show says yes to both questions. Simon Sinek, best-selling author, visionary and speaker, joins us to talk about how to start with why, how to be a leader no matter your title, and how to find fulfillment in every area of your life. Simon Sinek is one of today's foremost thought leaders and visionaries; his personal reason for doing what he does is to inspire others to do what inspires them. On today's show he shares the missing piece of starting with why, the massive impact it has on your family and loved ones if you are unhappy in your work and how you can be a leader regardless of your position. If you ask someone why they do what they do, they probably won't have an answer. Simon says most of us know what we do and how we do it, but not why. The why is the missing piece of the puzzle. And it's that why that is so key to living an inspired and inspiring life. If we come home from our job and complain about it every day it not only makes us feel terrible and those around us, but it sets an example for our kids. We're showing our children that work has to be something that is endured and makes us miserable, rather than something that brings us joy, fulfillment, and purpose. But we can change all of that. If we run a business we can become a leader, and not just a boss. We can carefully select our new hires to be sure they are a fit for our company. And we can put our current employees first who will then put our customers first which will then lead to an increase in profits and growth in our company. If we aren't the CEO or a manager in our current company, we can still be leaders. We can start flexing this muscle in little ways by holding the elevator door for someone, and making a new pot of coffee if we drink the last cup. As leaders we choose to be responsible for the people around us and for their fulfillment and their growth, not just our own. Simon and I also talk about why a leadership buddy is so important, why most companies' hierarchy is so illogical, and why the economic decisions of the '80s and '90s are still having an impact on us today. Simon shared on those topics and more, so listen in to hear it all. THANKS, SIMON SINEK! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Simon know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out at Twitter: Click here to thank Simon at Twitter! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email [email protected] Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this one: -Strong feelings about the 'Chipotle Hack' -Spencer nails networking and makes it a habit, gets a job -Why volunteering can change the way you think about yourself and give you a new sense of purpose. HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email [email protected] Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Nev Medhora (@nevmed) shows you how to stop letting your fear of rejection keep you from what you want. "No one is paying attention to you, everyone is too busy worrying about themselves." -Nev Medhora The Cheat Sheet: How Nev Medhora helped AppSumo get its first $10k day. Why is your non-verbal often more important than your verbal communication? How to use a British accent to get upgrades. Why did Nev turn down pitches from 60 Minutes and a reality TV show? What is Nev's #1 failproof trick to getting into any party? And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/nev-medhora-how-to-crash-parties-and-grow-your-network-episode-390/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this one: -His mother passed: what to do now? -People from the ghetto need help from ANY race -Divorced with a kid and homeless before AoC HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email [email protected] Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email [email protected] Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this one: -Married guy who "doesn't need AoC" gets arse handed to him by listeners -Working out before heading out HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email [email protected] Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Your passion will drive you. "You are the creator of your reality." -Nick Onken The Cheat Sheet: Nick shares how to find your why. Is there a formula to creating your vision? Why no idea is actually new, and why that's okay. Being successful all comes down to what? What's been the trigger for the biggest growth in his career? And so much more... Getting paid to do what you love is something all of us have dreamed of at some point in our lives. But why do some achieve that goal and others don't? And why do some artists have phenomenal careers and others never really take off? Nick Onken joins the show to share his thoughts and experiences on those very subjects. Nick is a world-renowned photographer who works with people like Jessica Alba and Usher. He shares the lessons he's learned about turning passion into profit on this episode of The Art of Charm. More About This Show: If you're passionate about something and want to create a business and an income from it would you be willing to invest 5 or 6 years to get there? That's what Nick Onken did and today he's a famous photographer working with the likes of Usher, Justin Bieber and Coca-Cola. But it did take him years to get where he is today. Over the last few years he worked as a freelance graphic designer and spent his days creating visual graphics for others. In his free time he perfected his photography skills, all the while keeping his eye on the prize of making a living with his art. On today's show he talks about how to find your passionate why, how to translate that into a vision of a business and some of the most valuable lessons he's learned on his rise to the top. Nick and I cover several subjects but two we'll highlight here are the importance of your inner circle (the people you spend the most time with) and raising your inner game. Who you hang out with, your inner circle, is one of the most influential factors in where you will go in life. If you have the right people in your life, people who are where you want to be, you will stay on track no matter what it takes. Surround yourself with people who inspire you and people you can add value to and inspire as well. Nick reiterates this on the show because it was an important factor for him. He also touches on the topic of raising your inner game or emotional IQ. In the 5-6 years it took him to build his business Nick found that he had a lot of self-criticism and self-doubt he had to face. And it was only by becoming aware of his own thoughts that he could do so. Everyone, Nick included, who has been successful has had these same thoughts and limiting beliefs, they've simply faced them and pushed through them. It's a normal part of doing something outside of your comfort zone, but you can get through it. Nick also talks about what separates those who succeed from those who don't, how to find your why, your vision and turn your passion into profit. Special thanks to Nick for being here, and thanks to you as well. We'll see you next time on The Art of Charm. THANKS NICK ONKEN! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Nick know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Nick on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Nick Onken's web siteSHOPTalk, Nick's podcast Nick Onken on TwitterNick Onken on Instagram The Art of Charm bootcamps You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email [email protected] Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices