The Art of Charm

Greg McKeown (@GregoryMcKeown) is the author of Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, which challenges core assumptions about achievement (e.g., "more is better") to get to the essence of what really drives success -- on one's own terms. The Cheat Sheet: Essentialism: the antidote to the problems of feeling busy but not productive, stretched too thin in one area of life, and fulfilling the agendas of others but not our own. Learn how to live by design, not by default. Find out how to say "no" effectively without getting in trouble at home -- or fired. Discover how to set hard boundaries between work and play. Learn why folks who are originally very good at essentialism can end up ruining their career and their sanity by letting these boundaries slip over time. And so much more... Casper makes hybrid mattresses that combine premium latex foam with memory foam -- and won't charge you an arm and a leg for them. Get $50 toward any mattress purchase here by using promo code AOC! If you want the most amazing shave possible, take it from us: use a fresh DSC Executive blade and Dr. Carver's Shave Butter -- two reasons to join Dollar Shave Club here today! Hate grocery shopping but you love to cook? Blue Apron delivers recipes and farm fresh ingredients to you. As an Art of Charm listener, you get your first two meals free here! Find out why The $100 MBA Show won an iTunes award and why this is one of Jordan's favorite podcasts -- about business education or anything. Check it out here and let us know what you think! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/greg-mckeown-essentialism-episode-553/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. In this Minisode Monday, recent guest Charles Duhigg -- author of Smarter Faster Better: The Secrets of Being Productive in Life and Business and The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business -- joins us to discuss why we're probably writing our to do lists wrong and how we can use SMART goals to make them more effective. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: If you write to do lists, you're like most people who are trying to squeeze as much productivity out of the day as possible. But some to do lists are more effective than others; sometimes they're just written to make us feel productive. (About 15 percent of to do list writers include tasks they've already done for a sense of cognitive closure.) If you'd rather use your to do list to actually get things done instead of as a form of what Charles calls mood repair, try breaking it up. Put your most important task at the top: this is your stretch goal. "What you're trying to do is you're trying to use that to do list to not serve as just a memory aid, but rather to force you to think about your priorities," says Charles. Next, you break up the remaining tasks into SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Timeline) goals. "It takes 45 seconds to take a big goal and find its SMART components," says Charles. "But if you do that, within a minute you have your top proirity at the top of your to do list, and underneath you essentially have a plan of how to get started right away. That is the right way to write a to do list!" To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he reads everything)! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-21-a-better-to-do-list-with-smart-goals/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Is quitting something stable you hate to do something risky you've always wanted to do -- with no promise of success -- worth it? Do you tough it out and try to have a good attitude at your current job -- with which you have ethical and professional issues -- until you can go full time on your side hustle, or do you acknowledge the problems and find another job in the meantime? What's an effective, reasonable, yet not terribly costly way to learn a foreign language? The disgruntled educator who wrote to us in Fan Mail Friday 78 reports back with a very encouraging update. You're in the process of making legitimate personal improvements since you and your significant other -- with whom you have children -- had a hard breakup. You want to get back together, but the feeling doesn't seem to be mutual. Can they be actively won back, or should you just give them space and hope absence will make the heart grow fonder? Quick shoutouts to Nev Medhora -- former guest and listener of AoC -- and Ivan Ivanovic who lives in Switzerland by way of Serbia! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-82-homebrew-for-humanity/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Charles Duhigg (@cduhigg) is a Pulitzer prize-winning reporter at The New York Times and author of Smarter Faster Better: The Secrets of Being Productive in Life and Business and The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business. The Cheat Sheet: What's the difference between what we think and how we think? Learn more about the science of motivation and what makes us tick. Compare the internal vs. external locus of control. What is cognitive tunneling and when does it affect us? Discover how we can use mental models to avoid it. Find out how to increase creativity even when we hit a block. And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Need legal help with starting and running your business? LegalZoom has affordable solutions -- check it out and use code CHARM to make it even more affordable! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/charles-duhigg-smarter-faster-better-episode-552/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Paul Bloom (@paulbloomatyale) is a developmental psychologist and author of the upcoming Against Empathy: The Case for Rational Compassion. He joins us to talk about the evolution of our innate (but limited) morality and what we as modern, rational humans can do to overcome this programming. The Cheat Sheet: Do we learn good and evil as we grow up, or are they hard-wired into us by evolution? Are we all just closet racists (with some of us just more closeted than others)? How can we scientifically test biases in babies who seemingly only express themselves by cooing and pooping? Good news: innate moral sense exists. Bad news: innate moral sense exists, but is limited. The goal of a modern culture is to make it a bit less limited. What can we do to change the us vs. them monologue with which we're born? And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Don't like to shop for clothes? Let Five Four Club be your personal fashion stylist. Complete a short style quiz and receive a monthly curated package at your doorstep! Go to fivefourclub.com and use promo code CHARM at sign-up to get 50% off your first package! Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/paul-bloom-rational-compassion-episode-551/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This week we tackle one of the most overused words today: gratitude. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: When you repeat something enough, it often loses its meaning. Through overuse, "gratitude" seems to be one of the latest casualties of this phenomenon. But done right, gratitude is one of the most powerful tools we have for life improvement -- it's one of the straightest and shortest paths to happiness and connection, and it utilizes thankfulness for things we already have rather than goading us toward what's currently out of reach. The word thanks comes from the Old English thanc, which means thought or gratitude. But it's also related to the Latin tongere, which means to know. So to thank is really to know. To know someone and to know yourself -- to know what they did for you and to know how it affected you. We can't really summon the powers of gratitude if we're just going through the motions -- we have to remind ourselves of the reasons we have to be grateful. Try to remember what a friend did for you recently. Think about valuable lessons you've taken away from a tough learning process. Even remembering an exceptionally delicious meal you've had -- these are all things you know and can be used to plant the seed of gratitude. Once we start thinking of gratitude as a kind of knowing, we can work with it in our everyday lives. Knowing gives us three things: a way to keep us focused on the good in our lives, a way to stay connected with people in our network, and a way to express generosity. Gratitude is transformative -- it allows us to accept even negative truths as gifts and learn from them. It's facing our problems and growing from the sometimes hard lessons rather than ignoring or denying that problems exist. If you can feel a curiosity -- maybe even a little excitement about what you might gain from any situation -- then you're already tapping into your gratitude. Start saying "yes" to everything on a cognitive level. Accept things as they are rather than how you wish they were. Take a moment to reflect on what went well every day. It will go from a deliberate practice to something that's automatic. Communicate with those who make you grateful. Take 30 seconds to send your friend or colleague a text, an email, or a handwritten note to thank them for whatever way they made your life better. If you're looking for a way to maintain good connections and building social capital in your network, this may just top the list. To learn more about social dynamics and the place of gratitude, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he reads everything)! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-20-even-monday-deserves-gratitude/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Is it possible to strike a balance between a no-strings-attached friendship and a relationship to benefit from the best of both worlds? How can you turn your good ideas into a business when you're always being pressured into taking dead end jobs just to make ends meet? Does using profanity make you cool as #*$&? Is there any way to remain a friend with your best friend's significant other when they aggressively pursue you for...more than friendship? Is "you have to tell them like it is or they will walk all over you" really an efficacious customer relations strategy? A quick shoutout to Kady T (not her real name), who listens to AoC while trying to find a new home and launch a business while she raises her 11-month-old baby in a shelter for abused women. Next time you think your life is overwhelming, remember Kady T! For what it's worth, AoC has your back, Kady. Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-81-is-profanity-cool/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Charm (@TheArtofCharm) presents one of the most important tools in the toolbox: perfecting your elevator pitch -- a brief and memorable introduction you could make to a fellow passenger in the time it takes to get from the lobby to the penthouse suite. The Cheat Sheet: Do you fear being asked the "what do you do for a living" question? Learn what an elevator pitch is and what you should make sure it includes. What is the Tornado Technique and how can it whittle down your elevator pitch to be most effective? Use these methods to practice and get your presentation down. Understand self-reflective analysis so your pitch can evolve as you do instead of being a stale reflection of who you were last year -- or 10 years ago. And so much more... If you want the most amazing shave possible, take it from us: use a fresh DSC Executive blade and Dr. Carver's Shave Butter -- two reasons to join Dollar Shave Club here today! Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! Working with other people? Struggling to keep everyone on the same page? We use Basecamp 3 at The Art of Charm, and it's the only platform you're going to need to organize all of your company's projects and communication in one place -- Art of Charm listeners can try Basecamp 3 for free here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/aoc-toolbox-perfecting-elevator-pitch-episode-550/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Penn Jillette (@pennjillette) is the vocal half of comic magician duo Penn & Teller and author of Presto!: How I Made Over 100 Pounds Disappear and Other Magical Tales. The Cheat Sheet: The role of flow (or autopilot) in high-level performing. Why Penn & Teller are constantly pushed and driven to innovate. Why it's important to question the things we want to believe the most. How tough love should play into the creative process when you're collaborating with someone you respect. Does moderation deserve respect? And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fabric is to enjoy the comfort of MeUndies; you just need to wear them -- support this show (and yourself) with MeUndies here for 20% off! Hate grocery shopping but you love to cook? Blue Apron delivers recipes and farm fresh ingredients to you. As an Art of Charm listener, you get your first two meals free here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/penn-jillette-presto-episode-549/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Minisode Monday, we may not be able to change someone else's behavior directly, but we can change the role we play in our relationship with them. Let's get to it!: The Cheat Sheet: What can you do if the bad behavior of a friend is reinforced every time you pick up the slack for them? The roles we play in the lives of others directly affect the nature of our relationships. You can't go outside without a jacket in the middle of winter and blame the weather for being too cold. We may not be able to change someone else's behavior directly, but we can change the role we play in our relationship with them. In short: don't try to change other people. Change the role you play in their life. By changing your role, you take control and accept your own actions and consequences. To learn more about social dynamics and taking control in the roles we play in the lives of others, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he reads everything)! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-19-relationship-roles/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: In a relationship, can trust be rebuilt once broken? More important: should it be? A self-described alpha female has been trying Kimberly Seltzer's dating advice, but it seems to be backfiring. What's the deal? Do men really love "bitches?" (Her word, not ours!) Do you find yourself constantly getting placed into positions of leadership by others? Is it really possible to get left holding the ladder...for yourself? Do you ever create scenarios or situations you may encounter with others and try to solve them before they actually exist -- and does this lead to false judgments and misunderstandings? How do you continue to work with someone who is insecure, insincere, and threatened by you, but is definitely not going anywhere because the CEO believes in him? Quick shoutouts to Joshua Francium from Indiana -- who listens to AoC on his morning commutes -- and architect Michael Robin in Shanghai, who listens while he designs buildings! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Jordan will be speaking at Thrive — the for-purpose entrepreneur event — in San Diego this year! If you want to go, grab a ticket here and use promo code AOC for 20% off! Take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. We'll take you step by step to becoming better at making personal and professional connections, becoming a better networker, increasing your personal social capital and charisma. This is for both men and women! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-80-should-broken-trust-be-rebuilt/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Srdja Popovic (@SrdjaPopovic) is the author of Blueprint for Revolution: How to Use Rice Pudding, Lego Men, and Other Nonviolent Techniques to Galvanize Communities, Overthrow Dictators, or Simply Change the World. The Cheat Sheet: What do revolutions and businesses have in common? Why nonviolence is more popular (and more effective). Why there are no charismatic leaders in the most successful revolutions. How to make a revolution cool by using comedy. How was '90s Serbia like Middle Earth in the era of The Lord of The Rings (Hobbits and all)? And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Don't like to shop for clothes? Let Five Four Club be your personal fashion stylist. Complete a short style quiz and receive a monthly curated package at your doorstep! Go to fivefourclub.com and use promo code CHARM at sign-up to get 50% off your first package! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/srdja-popovic-blueprint-for-revolution-episode-548/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mark Manson (@IAmMarkManson) returns to the show to talk about his new book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life -- available today! F-bomb alert level: juicy orange. The Cheat Sheet: Conventional life advice -- all that positive, happy, self-help stuff we hear all the time -- is actually fixating on what you lack and making you unhappy. Always assume you're wrong: if you're embarrassed about things you held to be true and dear 10 years ago, it stands to reason that things you hold true and dear today will be embarrassing 10 years from now. What The Feedback Loop from Hell is -- and why it's making you miserable. How you can use The Backwards Law to get out of the vicious cycle of comparing yourself to others. How The Self-Awareness Onion can lead you to a great understanding of yourself and your relationships. And so much more... Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/mark-manson-counterintuitive-approach-episode-547/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable that you can implement right away. It'll make you more magnetic and effective. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: If you find your default mode is negative, how do you snap out of it? I use something called the Three Positive Things drill. This is not the same as what I usually dismiss about the positive thinking camp. When something bad happens, it's easy to complain. So I challenge you to do this instead: force yourself to think of three positive things about what's bothering you. You can't control an event, but you can control your reaction to it. For example, when I got water all over my pants in the airport washroom before a 14-hour flight, I considered: 1) my pants were actually kind of waterproof, 2) I got a funny story out of it, and 3) I didn't get any on my new shoes, so it wasn't really a big deal. It may sound ridiculous, but the Three Positive Things Drill actually forces your logical brain to reach (sometimes pretty far) for the inobvious and distracts your emotional brain from getting upset. It also helps you build habits that make you a more positive person in your daily life. To learn more about social dynamics and developing good habits that will have a positive impact on your life, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he reads everything)! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-18-three-positive-things-drill/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Feel like your resume is lacking in experience? Show 'em what you can build. More listener endorsements for the virtues of dual enrollment (something we wish we'd found out about sooner)! A listener brings some great advice to the "why do bad bosses happen to good employees?" discussion from Fan Mail Friday #76. When you're just starting out in the entertainment industry, how do you mingle and network with the rich and successful in your field when you barely have two pennies to your name? [Relevant reference: Nev Medhora | How to Crash Parties and Grow Your Network (Episode 390)] Two years into a mostly perfect relationship in which you motivate each other to be your best selves -- but the sex just doesn't happen as much as it used to. What do you do? Quick shoutouts to: Dena -- James Swanwick's girlfriend who listens to AoC religiously and says it's just slightly better than his podcast -- and Kevin Rapp (happy belated birthday)! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-79-if-you-build-it-they-will-hire/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Brian Fetherstonhaugh (@BrianOgilvy) is the CEO of digital marketing agency OgilvyOne Worldwide and author of The Long View: Career Strategies to Start Strong, Reach High, and Go Far. The Cheat Sheet: Career math: calculations to help you appreciate the length of the career journey ahead and the strategies necessary to make it to the finish line. What percentage of your personal wealth do you think you'll accumulate after your 40th birthday? (The answer will probably surprise you.) Career fuel: what are you building today that you can carry for 40+ years? Career inventory: taking stock of the deep, longer term, transportable skills you've built over time. Do you succumb to temporal discounting -- choosing the present known over the future possible? And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Don't like to shop for clothes? Let Five Four Club be your personal fashion stylist. Complete a short style quiz and receive a monthly curated package at your doorstep! Go to fivefourclub.com and use promo code CHARM at sign-up to get 50% off your first package! If you want the most amazing shave possible, take it from us: use a fresh DSC Executive blade and Dr. Carver's Shave Butter -- two reasons to join Dollar Shave Club here today! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/brian-fetherstonhaugh-the-long-view-episode-546/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jenny Blake (@Jenny_Blake) is the author of Pivot: The Only Move That Matters Is Your Next One. She joins the show to help us better deal with the only real constant in life: change. The Cheat Sheet: How to make yourself more agile in your career. How to make sure you're not afraid to make a move forward instead of staying stagnant -- or worse: going for Plan B. How to actually pivot, and why it's not as drastic or dramatic as you might think. Why if you don't prepare for a pivot, you might be pivoted. How to know when it's time to quit your day job and go all-in on your side gig or make the leap to a different job or career entirely. And so much more... Hate grocery shopping but you love to cook? Blue Apron delivers recipes and farm fresh ingredients to you. As an Art of Charm listener, you get your first two meals free here! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Working with other people? Struggling to keep everyone on the same page? We use Basecamp 3 at The Art of Charm, and it's the only platform you're going to need to organize all of your company's projects and communication in one place -- Art of Charm listeners can try Basecamp 3 for free here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/jenny-blake-pivot-episode-545/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable that you can implement right away. It'll make you more magnetic and effective. In this Minisode Monday, former and future guest Jon Levy -- author of The 2 AM Principle: Discover The Science of Adventure -- joins us to discuss the Copy Machine Effect and how to end a conversation without burning bridges. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: You can't always curate your company beforehand; the impressions you make are created by how you interact in real time, on the fly. Conversation is usually spontaneous. You don't want to offend someone you've just met, but what do you do if you find yourself in a conversation that's not ideal? How do you politely excuse yourself from the discussion without the other party taking it personally (and without feeling guilty)? Keep in mind that time is limited. While mingling with large groups of people, you'll see participation in some conversations as crucial, some as best put off for another time, and others as entirely avoidable. Jon gives us a couple of ways out if we're alone (one cleverly involves the IFTTT Do Button), or if we're already part of a group. Understand the power of "because." Jon explains the Copy Machine Effect and how providing a reason is curiously persuasive in any conversation. And then he demonstrates. To learn more about social dynamics and put them to practice, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he reads everything)! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-17-how-to-end-a-conversation/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: How do you go back to your long-term marriage that needs work once you've become infatuated with someone who reminds you of all the things your partner is not? As we learned in episode 499 with Kimberly Seltzer, boundaries are imporant. But how do we know if we're closing ourselves off with too many boundaries? If you're an educator who's had to make countless compromises, it's hard not to become jaded when work politics hamstring the passion that got you into your field in the first place. Is there a way to realign your perspective and avoid the mounting bitterness you've been feeling about your job before you just leave it all behind for good? Some fan mail we get goes beyond the scope of our expertise, and we have to recommend professional help. Kimberly Seltzer gets another mention here for her in-depth episode about how to find a therapist. We wholeheartedly encourage everyone who listens to this show to put a plan of action in place and stick to it. Start small, as even the tiniest daily improvement will snowball into a core-level identity shift that will improve your life and the lives of those around you forever. A quick shoutout to Brandon Monk, the woodworker in L.A. who made my new audio desk -- which is amazing! It's all solid walnut. Hand made. It's absolutely beautiful and is officially the nicest piece of furniture I have ever owned. Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-78-hard-problems/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Shep Gordon (@SupermenschShep) is a talent manager, Hollywood film agent, producer, and author of They Call Me Supermensch: A Backstage Pass to the Amazing Worlds of Film, Food, and Rock'n'Roll. He was featured in Mike Meyers' documentary Supermensch: The Legend of Shep Gordon about his life and times. The Cheat Sheet: How do you create history rather than waiting for it to happen? Do you have to be a jerk to make it in Hollywood? What's Shep's coupon system? What's the most selfish thing you can do? Is fame toxic? And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/shep-gordon-supermensch-maui-episode-544/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Robert Cialdini (@RobertCialdini) is a speaker, consultant, and author of Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion and, most recently, Pre-suasion: A Revolutionary Way to Influence and Persuade. The Cheat Sheet: What is "pre-suasion," and how does it relate to the concepts inside influence? How persuasive people shape others' behavior and how we can use these techniques on others -- as well as ourselves. How to gain and retain someone's attention. How language, geography, and imaging alter our perceptions of what causes events -- and how the media uses these principles to influence us and set its agenda. How to increase our appeal by causing others to focus on us (and why this phenomenon often lands innocent people in jail). And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/robert-cialdini-pre-suasion-episode-543/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable that you can implement right away. It'll make you more magnetic and effective. Today, we're joined by recent guest, Unmistakable Creative host, and author of Unmistakable: Why Only is Better Than Best, Srini Rao. He'll tell us how to write 1,000 words a day without even thinking about it. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: In order to effortlessly write 1,000 words a day, you need to make it second nature in your daily routine -- like brushing your teeth. Writing by hand vs. writing by keyboard. Activation energy: the fewer steps there are for you to do something, the more likely you are to actually do it. Have the tools of your routine on hand and ready to perform. To minimize distractions, Srini recommends loading up Focus at Will (a subscription music service that helps you focus -- with science!), and blocking all attention-grabbing websites (or your browser itself) for an hour. If you're writing on a laptop, have your word processing software set up so it's the first thing you see when you open it up in the morning. Before you know it, you'll write 1,000 words per day and you won't even think twice about it. Give it a try this week! To learn more about social dynamics and overcoming conditions like procrastination, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he reads everything)! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-16-how-to-write-1000-words-a-day/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: You've been so busy building a life for you and your family that, through long hours of work and school, you worry you've forgotten how to have fun. How do you get your mojo back to be the best self your wife deserves? How do you hustle hard and make sure to get decent sleep every night? If your significant other is on hookup sites "just to make new friends," how do you know they're not cheating on you? A New Yorker weighs on on how diversity can be an asset rather than a drawback in the modern dating scene -- if you're looking in the right places. A listener who went through dual enrollment (as discussed in FMF 75) tells us how it's got him on track to graduate with an MBA at age 20. Quick shoutouts to Charles Anderson -- who has been on the Internet for 40 years -- and Anni Viskus, an Estonian in Denmark who considers AoC her number one podcast and listens to it with her boyfriend! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-77-hustle-hard-sleep-harder/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lecrae (@lecrae) is a two-time Grammy winning hip hop artist and author of Unashamed, the autobiography about his rocky path to becoming a chart-topping industry anomaly. The Cheat Sheet: How do you make it to the top of the hip hop world as an introvert? What it takes to filter the right role models and mentors when you grow up fatherless. How to separate criticism from valid feedback. Lecrae shares his Beyoncé party story. How does Lecrae deal with the nagging pangs of Imposter Syndrome? And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/lecrae-unashamed-episode-542/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Srinivas Rao (@unmistakableceo) is the host and founder of the Unmistakable Creative podcast -- where he's interviewed more than 700 people from all walks of life -- and author of Unmistakable: Why Only is Better Than Best. The Cheat Sheet: The power of long-term commitment. Avoiding the Idea Echo Chamber. Why your goal should be to become the only and not just the best. The support systems around being creative. How to borrow from other works without staying in the realm of what's been done before. And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/srinivas-rao-why-only-is-better-than-best-episode-541/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the 15th episode of Minisode Monday! We keep finding so many useful tactics and tips that we want to share with you, but they don't fit into the format of a regular show -- hence, Minisode Monday. Today, we're going to address sore spots and accommodating old injuries. Here goes: The Cheat Sheet: We all experience sore spots -- physical as well as mental -- every now and then. But sometimes these sore spots have been with us so long that we forget what put them there in the first place. Just one injury can set off a chain reaction of unconscious maladjustment -- with body or mind -- that can affect everything we do. The older the injury, the more widespread the effects. In what ways have you been injured that cause you to act differently? Does an old shoulder injury negatively modify your posture? Does an old embarrassment make you insecure or oversensitive about something? This week: think about your sore spots. What are they, and when do they show up? What triggers them? How have you been rearranging your life to accommodate these old injuries? Start digging to see if you can find the root causes, because only then can you start the healing process and take care of them once and for all. To learn more about social dynamics and putting a stop to accommodating old injuries, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he reads everything)! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-15-accommodating-old-injuries/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. As an added bonus, Gabriel Mizrahi joins us! In this episode: How do you call out a friend when you see them slipping up without ruining the relationship? Why do bad bosses happen to good employees? Can loving your rewarding job be enough if the person deciding the direction that job can take is someone you don't trust or respect? What can you do to blend into a new company culture without coming across as desperate for social attention? Quick shoutouts to Fei Wu -- who bribed Jordan with a ton of nice Chinese pu-erh tea to get him on her podcast -- and to Patrick McCabe, who is starting his voiceover business and helped rewrite some of the AoC intro scripts! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-76-vengeance-or-validation/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

James Altucher (@jaltucher) is a serial entrepreneur, speaker, podcaster, and author of several books, including Choose Yourself: Be Happy, Make Millions, Live the Dream. He joins us to talk about -- among many things -- the benefits of minimizing expectations for maximum happiness. The Cheat Sheet: Need to jump start happiness? Lower your expectations. People seem to react better to advice by autobiography than advice by slogan. If a giant stack of money is your be-all, end-all measure of success, you might want to redefine success (or prepare for a heaping helping of disappointment). How does someone live well without renting or owning? The checklist James uses to make sure he's operating as his best self (which also keeps him from disappointing others). And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/james-altucher-minimal-expectations-episode-540 HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Shawn Blanchard (@Shawntb) has overcome a past of drug dealing and limited options to become a speaker, mentorship specialist, and author of How 'Bout That For A Crack Baby: Keys to Mentorship and Success. The Cheat Sheet: How does someone go from living a double life of academic success and criminal enterprise to mentoring kids and helping them realize their potential? How Shawn found mentors -- or as he calls them, friendtors -- from among his peers. People want to help you. If you want to be a good mentor, you've got to be a good mentee. Mentorship isn't necessarily about creating high performers, but in making people better than they would have been without you. And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/shawn-blanchard-from-miscreant-to-mentor-episode-539/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the 14th episode of Minisode Monday! We keep finding so many useful tactics and tips that we want to share with you, but they don't fit into the format of a regular show -- hence, Minisode Monday. Today, we tried to come up with a word for the opposite of worry. We failed, but it doesn't mean we can't put the idea to practice as we try to understand why worrying never helps. The Cheat Sheet: Have you ever seen Bridge of Spies with Tom Hanks? If you have, you might remember this line: "Would it help?" (We won't spoil it for those who haven't seen it.) Worrying is what we do when there's nothing we really can do. It's counterproductive. Worrying causes stress, which interferes with our performance, energy levels, and focus -- which makes it harder to deal with what we're worrying about in the first place. The cure for worry? Presence (as recently discussed with Amy Cuddy, author of Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges). Focus on the task at hand. Face forward, but don't live in the pretend future where the thing you're fearing wins. This differs from strategizing for contingencies, where you stay emotionally detached from potential outcomes. Instead of worrying -- where the worst-case scenario is the reality we imagine -- try imagining the best-case scenario, instead. To learn more about social dynamics and overcoming conditions like worrying, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he reads everything)! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-14-worrying-never-helps/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: If you believe weird things, one of them might be in thinking it's a good idea to visit a psychic with your significant other for a preview of the future. You had a bad breakup. Months later, when your ex joins your co-ed softball team and those familiar feelings of affection reignite, is it better to let the other person know how you feel, or should you just sever all ties at the end of the season? Are you a driven teenager (or the parent of one) who feels like high school is just a waste of time? Check out dual enrollment as an option and get a head start on college. A listener who enjoyed our episodes with Duana Welch finds himself newly single. He wonders about the proper way to disclose to potential dates what some may see as non-glamorous employment -- without being deceptive. Dating can be hard -- but an immigrant might find it even harder. What's the secret to mingling without getting demotivated? Quick shoutouts to Cristian in Santiago de Chile and Romee the Baconator (the man, not the burger)! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-75-is-dual-enrollment-a-game-changer/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dacher Keltner is a professor of psychology at University of California in Berkeley, one of the world's foremost scientists specializing in the study of power, and author of The Power Paradox: How We Gain and Lose Influence. The Cheat Sheet: You don't have to be Machiavellian to appreciate that Niccolo Machiavelli was the OG power scientist. The imbalance of power is the greatest threat to society (just after climate change). Powerlessness can literally be lethal. Learn how we can increase our power relative to others in a healthy way. What is The Power Paradox, and how does it affect us and society at large? And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/dacher-keltner-the-power-paradox-episode-538/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sebastian Junger (@sebastianjunger) is a journalist, filmmaker, and bestselling author; he joins us to discuss his latest book Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging and his experiences covering war for the past 20 years. The Cheat Sheet: Why do some people get addicted to war and recall times of crisis with fondness? Does an affluent society free of hardship and danger deprive its citizens of an intrinsic need to be useful? Are war journalists armed, and do they contribute to group defense in the field? What happens when someone who's been through war comes home, and why is it often so difficult for them to reintegrate into society? Why is there a phrase for "going native" but not "going civilized?" And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/sebastian-junger-tribe-episode-537/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the 13th episode of Minisode Monday! We keep finding so many useful tactics and tips that we want to share with you, but they don't fit into the format of a regular show -- hence, Minisode Monday. Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges author and recent guest Amy Cuddy joins us to talk about something a lot of us experience: Imposter Syndrome. The Cheat Sheet: Do you ever feel like you don't belong where you are? That you don't deserve what you have? That everyone else is smarter than you? You might be experiencing Imposter Syndrome. This doesn't just apply to high achievers -- it happens to almost everyone (80%), and is not limited by demographic. Do you remove yourself from situations where you worry you might be "found out" for not being good enough? Common avoidances: speaking at events, performing, taking on challenges, and talking about this feeling with anyone else -- because we feel completely alone in this condition. Pluralistic Ignorance: the feeling that everyone else knows something we don't know. Imposter Syndrome activates the same centers in the brain as pain. It feeds itself: the more we succeed, the more we feel we're getting undue attention, and the more likely we're going to be "found out." We can't say no to opportunities just because we feel threatened with discovery. The best thing we can do if we find ourselves experiencing Imposter Syndrome is talking about it with others. We might be surprised to find that, while opening up to someone we trust, they'll admit feeling this way, too. We're not alone. To learn more about social dynamics and overcoming conditions like Imposter Syndrome, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he reads everything)! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-13-overcoming-imposter-syndrome HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: What news sources do we trust to keep us informed about current events? If you're still in college, is a long distance relationship a worthwhile pursuit -- or will it just hold you back from achieving other goals? Is there such a thing as too much personal development? Can someone really become unknowingly deficient in relationship skills because they're too absorbed in their own journey? How does one get started in the industry of self-help and personal growth? When your estranged parents reach out and want to visit you on the other side of the ocean, is it wrong to tell them that now's not a good time? Quick shoutouts to Mitch, a producer at a studio Jordan used (he turned out to be an AoC fan just by coincidence!) and Chris Johnson, who's deciding whether or not to do his own podcast now that he sees some of the work that goes into it! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-74-personal-overdevelopment HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Amy Cuddy (@amyjccuddy) is a social psychologist, TED Talk speaker, and author of Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges. The Cheat Sheet: What is presence, and why do the charismatic seem to have it in abundance while so many of us struggle to find it regularly in ourselves? Presence is a renewable resource -- not a permanent state. Confident body language begets confidence and presence. Arrogance isn't a proxy for confidence -- why inauthenticity undermines trust, how you can keep yourself from conveying it, and how to spot it in someone else. Extroverts don't have an unfair advantage when it comes to commanding presence; by the same token, introverts aren't at a disadvantage. And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/amy-cuddy-presence-episode-536/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bob Burg (@BobBurg) is the co-author of The Go-Giver: A Little Story About a Powerful Business Idea, a parable with dynamic business principles and life lessons that we can all apply with great effect. The Cheat Sheet: Why the world isn't dog-eat-dog. The Five Laws of Stratospheric Success -- how they apply to your business and personal life. How we add value without giving away the bank and hurting our own business or interests. How we give without being obsessed with the results. As the old adage goes: how you do anything is the way you do everything. And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/bob-burg-the-go-giver-episode-535/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the 12th episode of Minisode Monday! We keep finding so many useful tactics and tips that we want to share with you, but they don't fit into the format of a regular show -- hence, Minisode Monday. We take on roles when interacting with others. But are we in control of the roles we play, or do they come about by default or inaction? Let's find out here! The Cheat Sheet: When interacting with others, we all play roles. Sometimes these roles complement each other, and sometimes they clash. We don't always choose the roles we play. Sometimes they just happen by default or plain inaction. When two people are working together to get something done, one person may take the supporting role of ladder holder and the other, the ladder climber. In the ladder example, there's nothing wrong with taking on either role. But did you arrive at your respective roles by choice, or did one of you take the initiative to select one and the other just fell into the one left over? This week, think about the roles you play at home. Think about the roles you play at work. Think about the roles you play among your friends. Which roles do you have by choice, and which roles do you have by default or inaction? For whom are you holding the ladder when you shouldn't be? To learn more about social dynamics you can put to use, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he reads everything)! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-12-playing-roles-and-holding-ladders/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it -- as an added bonus, Gabriel Mizrahi joins us! In this episode: What can you do to keep a good relationship with a family member who doesn't support your goals while not letting their negativity derail your ambition? How do you convince your boss that his convoluted approach to a project could be better streamlined without causing insult or drama? As a direct-sales team leader, how do you keep your team's morale up when it's discovered that one among them has been stealing from several others in the group? How can you be civil to -- and work with -- a boss you don't respect? Extra complication: he's the business owner's son. A prospective employer says your resume looks great on paper, but they express concerns upon meeting you because your work history is unorthodox. How do you present your case? Quick shoutouts to: Bill Durfy, who listens with his 18-year-old daughter, and Dylan F, who listens in Manhattan because his girlfriend turned him on to the show. Ladies, tell your men about AoC! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-73-why-dont-i-want-to-hire-you/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Chris Voss (@VossNegotiation) is a former FBI hostage negotiator and author of Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as If Your Life Depended on It. He joins the show to discuss how we can be more effective negotiators by using hostage negotiation techniques. The Cheat Sheet: The principles behind negotiation and emotional persuasion. Three types of negotiators you'll encounter -- The Analyst, The Assertive, and The Accommodator -- and how to size them up. How to influence how people size you up. Defusing negative emotions. Generating rapport in difficult situations. And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/chris-voss-never-split-the-difference-episode-534/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Carmen Simon (@areyoumemorable) is a cognitive scientist specializing in neuroscience research and how we can use memory to have a positive impact on other people's decisions. She is the author of Impossible to Ignore: Creating Memorable Content to Influence Decisions. The Cheat Sheet: How to stay on people's minds. How to influence other people's memory. Why being remembered in the future is more important than being remembered in the past. When forgetting is actually better than remembering. How to influence others to forget. And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/carmen-simon-impossible-to-ignore-episode-533/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the 11th episode of Minisode Monday! We keep finding so many useful tactics and tips that we want to share with you, but they don't fit into the format of a regular show -- hence, Minisode Monday. Under New Management: How Leading Organizations Are Upending Business as Usual author and recent guest David Burkus joins us to talk about how to tell if your network is too dense, what this really means, and how you can remedy the situation. The Cheat Sheet: While you may be influenced most by the five people with whom you spend the most time, research suggests shuffling those five people depending on the project at hand. In theory, this is great. But what if your network isn't wide enough to allow for this kind of shuffling? On the other hand, as networks cross and everybody gets to know everybody in each other's networks, the diversity of those networks decreases at the same time as they get denser. Grab a notepad and list the 10 people you interact with most. "There's nothing magical about 10," says David. "You could go to 15 if you've got that many; you could go to five if you feel like you don't have a lot of friends." Stare at that list and start thinking about how many of those people would also be on each other's list. How many of them know each other? How often do you all hang out together? If your network's too dense, it's time to start expanding. To learn more social dynamics hacks like this one, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he reads everything)! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-11-how-to-tell-if-your-network-is-too-dense/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Are you an introvert who leaves the party early because you need time away from people to recharge? Or are you just really ambitious and ready to move on to more invigorating projects than clubbing? It could be both... Five years into your marriage-tracked relationship and you've both agreed to save your virginity until the wedding night. And then your significant other drops a bombshell: they haven't been a virgin since before you started dating. Now what? The family who listens to the AoC podcast together stays together! (Or at least engages in regular discussions instead of constant arguments.) If a reason-based atheist withdraws from a group of bunk-believing old friends and there's no herbal remedy around to cure his melancholy, does his aura change color? A doctor who listens to the show reminds men with low libidos to get testosterone and estradiol levels checked -- aromatization might be converting what seems to be a normal level of testosterone into estrogen. "Even in younger guys," she says, "this is an increasingly huge problem because of all of the endocrine disrupting chemicals in our world." If you're dating someone you consider "out of your league," is it possible you're giving them too much of a benefit of the doubt when they're waving every shade of red flag directly in your face? A quick shoutout to Drew Mistak, photographer (your email bounced back to Jordan when he tried to connect you to Hines Ward). Also to Stephen Cristopher, who's starting his own show to help others with their small businesses! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-72-endocrine-disrupting-atheists/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

David Burkus (@davidburkus) makes it easier for good ideas to leave the ivory tower of academia and get adopted by the people in the corner office who need it. He is the author of Under New Management: How Leading Organizations Are Upending Business as Usual. The Cheat Sheet: Why are smaller companies with limited resources better poised than giant corporations to work with potentially game-changing experimental policies? You may be the average of the five people you spend the most time with, but nobody ever said it has to be the same five -- especially when project teamwork comes into play. Why former colleagues are some of your most valuable network connections -- and how you can keep in touch with them. Research shows that who is on your team and the company you work with have far more influence on your performance than just your skills. Do you hate your job? Science tells us why. But the good news is: you can do something about it at any level. And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/david-burkus-under-new-management-episode-532/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Michael Shermer (@michaelshermer) is the founder of Skeptic magazine and several books on the nature of belief. He's the Director of The Skeptics Society, a non-profit dedicated to the promotion of science, reason, and critical thinking. He joins us to discuss why people believe weird things. The Cheat Sheet: How do beliefs form in our brains and persist even when we know they're wrong? Why do skeptics (and restaurant owners) scowl at the mention of Uri Geller? Why are smart people even more susceptible to faulty beliefs? How do our genes influence our political and religious beliefs? What's the difference between a skeptic and a cynic? And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/michael-shermer-believe-weird-things-episode-531/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the 10th episode of Minisode Monday! We keep finding so many useful tactics and tips that we want to share with you, but they don't fit into the format of a regular show -- hence, Minisode Monday. Ego Is the Enemy author and recent guest Ryan Holiday joins us to talk about keeping our own egos in check when we're dealing with people who we -- for whatever reason -- can't stand. The Cheat Sheet: What does Always Love by Nada Surf have to teach us about the uneven relationship between the hater and the hated? "I have decided to stick with love...Hate is too great a burden to bear." -Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. If Socrates was right in saying that no one does wrong knowingly, someone who has caused you grief probably didn't set out to do it on purpose. The aspects that turn us off to someone's character are probably already causing that person some degree of suffering. Try to find gratitude toward those who have done wrong by you early in a relationship -- at least they didn't wait longer to make it worse for you. "The mind can contort itself in all different ways," says Ryan. "You might as well contort it in some way that makes you feel less bad than continuing to contort it in a way that makes you feel more miserable." To learn more social dynamics hacks like this one, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he reads everything)! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-10-compassion-for-cretins/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: If your significant other voices negative opinions about people who have plastic surgery, should you tell them you had a nose job six years ago? How do you learn to trust your instincts to become a better judge of character? How can someone highlight the unconscious conditioning at the root of their problems to ask the real questions they need answered? A listener writes to let us know he enjoyed our episode with Neil Pasricha, and wonders if paying for the full tab on a first date (or casual meeting) makes the man come off too strong? Another listener lets us know how Kim Seltzer's advice in a past Fan Mail Friday helped him gain clarity about his life's direction. Thanks to Victor Mizrahi for being a hardcore AoC fan. It means a lot to us! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-71-like-a-neckbeard-champion/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jo Marchant (@JoMarchant) is a science journalist and author -- her new book is Cure: A Journey into the Science of Mind over Body. The Cheat Sheet: Understand the power of placebos. Learn how your immune system can be trained. Find out why stress kills and how to beat it. Realize the importance of social relationships and how to boost them. Does believing in God make you live longer? And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/jo-marchant-cure-episode-530/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jonah Berger (@j1berger) has spent over 15 years studying how social influence works and how it drives products and ideas to catch on. He's a marketing professor and author; his new book is Invisible Influence: The Hidden Forces that Shape Behavior. The Cheat Sheet: We like to believe we're so special that our choices are driven by personal preferences and opinions; the fact of the matter: other people have an influence over almost everything we do. Rather than seeing influence as negative and manipulative, we should understand how to use it as a toolkit for making better decisions. Sometimes we allow our social groups or cultural upbringing to influence us toward underachievement. Learn the one trick that allows negotiators to be five times more successful. How do we protect ourselves from undesired influence? And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/jonah-berger-invisible-influence-episode-529/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the ninth episode of Minisode Monday! We keep finding so many useful tactics and tips that we want to share with you, but they don't fit into the format of a regular show -- hence, Minisode Monday. If You're so Smart, Why Aren't You Happy? author and recent guest Raj Raghunathan joins us to talk about when we should go with our gut instinct to make a decision and when we should turn it over to our mind. The Cheat Sheet: Many smart and successful people think you can arrive at a better solution to any challenge or problem faced by thinking a little more about it. This leads to what Raj calls the sin of "mind addiction." When we succumb to this mind addiction, we tend to overanalyze and get into analysis paralysis -- unable to remove ourselves from a self-feeding loop that actually stops us from making a decision at all (or, in the best case, an inferior decision). Our instinct -- our gut -- packs a lot more information than we give it credit for. Evolution has given us this intrinsic command center we often ignore in favor of waiting for further, external information that may or may not exist. This isn't to say all decisions should unquestioningly be handled by the gut. Stock market investing, for instance, is a job for the brain. But making a spreadsheet to weigh the pros and cons of dating one person over another is being overanalytical of a job best handled by the gut. What is the eventual benefit you seek? Is it an emotional/experiential one, or is it a functional/practical/utilitarian one? If it's the former, go with your gut. If it's the latter, it may be worth letting your mind give it more careful thought. Do you need to justify your choice to other people? It's probably a job for your mind. If it's something for which you are only accountable to yourself, the gut may be your better option. To learn more about making decisions with the right part of your body, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he reads everything)! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-9-gut-decision-vs-making-up-your-mind/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices