Superpowered Mind with Clare Dimond

I’m curious, if there is no controlling I, who or what is it that decides to do the thing that Clare is saying to do? What makes the change from staying safe to taking risks? Is it just that as we see that it’s just a programme, there becomes more possibility within that programme? Or is it something outside the programme? Interested in your responses, thanks

Listener question: If there's no decision maker and a learned programme is simply being acted out, how do we differ from an AI robot? We can watch the robot running it's programme just as we can watch our own programme running and we can watch the programme changing as the system learns. NLP is all about accelerating change within the neurological programme, a reprogramming of the system (presumably by another programme as there's no doer).So, what does it mean to be human? We're aware that we're aware of course, but if we have no choices then there's a sense of so what? How do I actually differ from an AI or even from my dog? Are we simply a more intelligent AI vs other animals or certain robots?

I have a thing about doing the dishes. You have no idea how big a problem this can become. I have had a whole team of friends over to look at how I can fit in a dishwasher, where there really isn't space for it. I got the flat that I'm in because I could swear that there was space, when I went to look at it! Sometimes I see that the aversion to doing the dishes has something to do with hidden thoughts behind it all. I could just leave the dishes right? But how will people view the illusary me if the place is a tip? But it is not always like that. Sometimes I just do the dishes without any fight whatsoever, and sometimes I leave them without a thought. So when I'm OK (or rest in okness) there i no aversion and no guilt. There is movement towards the dishes or away from them. But when "I'm" not OK there is aversion and a lot of guilt. Deep in it all I feel there is a true desire for a dishwasher (without attachment to wether I get it or not).The same situation seems to be read moment by moment, and it can reveal widely different experiences. I feel this is the same when creating content, and how I feel about people not responding. Sometimes I am not OK (embarrased, ashamed etc.), sometimes I am actually OK, and other times I feel OK, but really I am closed off, not curious, and disinterested in learning anything new. There is a deep desire to share underneath it all.Is there always something in the way, when we don't get a good response? what am I not seeing here?

I have had a tough time in my personal life. I was in a long distance relationship for 2 year with someone I adored. We hit a rough patch and decided to be friends but instead of that he has ghosted me. it has been around 6 weeks and i am having a hard time getting over it. I feel with what i know I should be okay by now. I have no idea why he has done it, no closure and i cry a lot. I cannot seem to get a grip even though i know there is no me to get a grip. Can you speak to this please if possible?

Listener question: I'm wondering if you have any thoughts around feedback when it's something we can't control. I have panic attacks at work and it impacts the effectiveness of my work. I think you're pointing to the fact that these are a learned response in the system and until I can see past the separation of my clients, this will keep happening in a non personal way. Would it be similar, as say I lost my arm and couldn't work any more, and so my mind loops in ways that make it impossible to do this job. I know it's not the very same as with the former, it really would be impossible and with the latter if I could see more it might still be possible.

Do we always need to fall to the bottom to feel this enormous pain to change or at least seek change? As I listen to your work I understand that defensive systems are all set to defend what needs to be defended which looks real to us keeping us at Status Quo.

I have turned down a job offer for some genuine practical reasons but I can also see that I have retreated because of a perceived threat to my identity. A sense of lack and unworthiness was overwhelming. I saw the ‘wolves’ getting ever closer and felt unable to challenge them or look them in the eye!I did find my voice to explain my reasons for not taking up the position, which in the past I would not have done- previously there would have been a resigned pushing and forcing, showing only commitment to the job no matter what the consequences. To some extent I think it was a ‘lose/lose’ for the identity as I’m now left with feelings of guilt! I can see that in trying to secure the identity and to end the turmoil and suffering, the mind still isn’t happy with the decision made and it will probably only repeat this pattern in another scenario that comes along!I’d be really grateful for you talk about this in one of your podcasts and help me see more around this. A lot has been coming up for me in the last few months, ‘layers of the onion’ are being exposed and there is a willingness to look more closer at all these behaviours in a way that was unthinkable before.

I am loving reading WELL again, as we travel together through the VOICE course. Please could you read some VOICE relevant pages from WELL within a Podcast. That would really help pull this all together.

It has felt in the past like there was an I fixing myself whereas now, there's less of a sense of that. It's more like something arising by itself. My sense is that multiple 'I' characters are created each with its own narrative and patterns and we are identified with these 'I' characters until we see through them. Sometimes people see though the illusion completely and these self identities collapse in one go - like Syd Banks or Anita Moorjani, but often it's a slower process where one illusory character collapses while perhaps we're still identified with another? Do you see it like this or differently?

I'm curious about guilt. It's a long term pattern I have around my mum. I'm not sure if the feeling of guilt is old laid down energies, from a difficult childhood with her, working the way out of the system. O if it's a kick up the ass, as in that moment, I'm seeing my mum as someone seperate out there and the story is she shouldn't be like this/I'm not being a 'good' daughter. Or perhaps neither or both.In the past I'd be avoiding or scrambling to make her okay but for now I'm showing up, being curious and being the space for the emotions. I'd love to hear thoughts about this, thanks

When I want to speak up for something I want in front of others e.g asking a builder to change something when he is halfway through a job because I was either : misinformed, I realise there is a better option OR I just don’t like something. How do I navigate this communication cleanly and respectfully (for self and other) when i'm silenced by my freeze, fight or flight the situation. I get flooded with feelings of shame, self-apology and am scared of being seen as a hassle. Perhaps i would aks for the change and then still feel the same because of course it's nothing to do with them is it.I suddenly lose clarity about what I want or what is right and if I'm just be reacting to a trauma of past feelings of powerlessness, fear of being misinformed and fear of having been silenced. What is the opportunity for me to see here and how do i not make ALL of it feel wrong

Listener question: how does a subliminal work?

Listener question: I find your Subliminal offering interesting. Then, in one of your podcasts (and, also my understanding), you mention that looking for answers in the world of form can keep us in alert mode? I'm just wondering how you reconcile these two ideas ? I learned about Subliminal from one of my clients and I'd like to be able to understand your logic behind it please?https://claredimond.com/realisation-nothing-to-realise/

I have a question about what has to happen for a person to change or at least seek change. Do people allways have to hit the bottom floor and face unbearable pain to get themselves in the postion to seek change? As I listen to your podcasts/Videos, defense mechanism & EGO sistems in place are strongly keeping us in the status quo. And grasping temporaly reliefs (outside ourselves) from discomforting feelings can just prolong needed realisations.

Listener observation: there are no people involved in conversation...

Clean communication - the dissolution, not an attribute, of the self

Listener question: The question I keep playing over is whether I need to know what my story is or just being aware that there is a story tied into identity is enough?Whenever I try to investigate what the beliefs are that are keeping this fear of public speaking in place I go all over the place and whilst lots of thoughts are revealed I'm not sure what I am believing to be true.

Listener question: Can you please do a podcast on the sense of feeling which is the only thing in the now. What happens when subjectivity gets involved in the feeling and distorts the felt sense of feeling from the story of feeling (what the mind wants to create from the feeling).If one is feeling anxiety and feeling it in the body the feeling of constriction and tension in shoulders and is feeling it. Then the mind comes in and attachs a story to the anxiety and that story is seen and heard and the feeling of the sensations become obscured by the minds story.

Listener question: Simple question: Can NLP be useful alongside an exploration of non-duality?

Listener question: You have said and written something like the healing happens when the conditioning is revealed/becoming transparent. I listened today again to the webinar on monday were you said that when the beliefs are being revealed they loose their grip. Is that the healing (or part of it)? Please talk some more about the healing and how you see what is going on. You have been speaking something about trauma also. Will the loosening of the grip of the beliefs also transfer to what is contracted and stored in the body. May bee it is the combination of the vanishing of the beliefs and the just witnessing og allowing of the feelings and reactions (without judgement) that make the healing possible?

Listener question: why do I do 'x' when I know I should do 'y'?

Listener question: It seems like when a mind created story comes up, it‘s more convincing than ever, like how dangerous it will be to go on stage. Also some physical symtpoms are very strong.Somehow I can observe how the story comes up, but then when I‘m in it, I‘m so much in it that I can‘t really see it as a story anymore. I‘m very scared that I will get stuck in the story and won‘t be able to observe whats happening anymore..I don‘t know if I‘m making sense.. I think my „self“ is trying to cry for help, knowing that it‘s under threat..What am I missing here?

Listener question: What exactly is 'honesty' ?. I realised that if i met an old friend i could be 'honest' and say "i am a failure, i dont have children, i'm not married, I'm still dependant with no reliable income, I have 'gone nowhere, the world has moved on and i am the same as i was when we last met". Compared to all the 'movement' in her life i would feel like a loser. This would feel like my 'honest truth'. I would be sharing how i 'honestly' feel and see myself right now. HOWEVER, i can also see that all i'd be doing is sharing the 'thoughts i'm believing to be true in that moment through the filters on how i am seeing my life'. I would feel i was being totally honest because those thoughts feel REAL.The other option is i could 'act' and tell her all the things i have done that were successful and paint a better picture. These facts would also be 'true' but because i don't feel 'successful'and it isnt what i'm seeing right now i'd feel as if i was being 'dishonest' and 'fake'. This feels even further from authentic.I can see that both examples are 'true' and both examples are 'fake' I can see that all life events are neutral and so what we're really sharing are our self judgements and the meaning we have given those events, and what we are risking are the hidden judgements of others.So WHAT does real 'honesty' look like if the thoughts that inform what we feel to be 'our truth in the moment' are actually only ever telling us 'lies' ?. Is sharing how we feel ever 'honesty' if our feelings are always only coming from our unreliable thoughts ?

Listener question: What I'm seeing with my expression and lack of, is a deep distrust of life i.e. that the expression I long to be truly isn't possible and it's best not to be proved right on that.Choosing actions that allow full expression rather than keep a pretence that it's still at a distance and not yet available is what I want.My concern with being a participant on your course is that I continue to stay in that story of I'm not there yet (wherever there is, I hope you get what I mean.)So I'm torn. The content of the course sounds amazing and clearly I am still in the same old story living hand to mouth on Universal Credit etc.But how long do I stay a participant for? Is that serving me?

Listener question: I do feel like it's groundhog day over here. Currently I'm gripped with fear. I'm trying to stay with the sensations and tell myself that any story I'm attaching isn't true. It seems like it is true that I keep having the same experience. The work I do is so intimate, and having panic attacks here is so difficult, but I guess that's what you mean about going in the other direction deeper into the story. I listen, and read and think 'oh yes, this makes sense and it's very true' and then there I am one on one at work and all of that flies out of the window and I'm stuck in another panic attack. The body/mind is so quick to go there, for many reasons (yes lots of evidence to back up the stories). I do also watch and notice. There's two tracks going on, one that goes down into the story and the other that looks at it. The former seems to win out as I dread the future scenarios stronger than I can see clearly what's really going on. I know it's all the things you talk about ie protection, control, pushing away experience, but that's where I'm at and seemingly not shifting.There's something more for me to see around this no self present day accountability. I'll listen some more and see if any questions come to mind.

Listener question: I noticed that if I get stressed, that I try to "do the same thing" that worked last time. I sort of see that the last time something "worked out" it wasn't because I did something specific with the controlling mind. But at the same time I remember doing things like observing overwhelming feelings (which seems to have helped me a lot). How do I not make this a technique? (which is definitely a question of a controlling mind..)

I am wondering if you could talk a little about comparison as compared to judgment. I see them as kind of the same thing - when I judge something I am seeing myself/projecting and when I am comparing, I am…what? So in other words what is the difference between comparison and judgement? Thank you for any input you have.

Excerpt from From the Heart by Nicola DrewExplorations in consciousness and unconditional love

For more information on Helen's work click here https://wildfigsolutions.co.uk

Not that long ago, I found out that someone who means a lot to me has been deceiving me for months, hiding the truth from me and essentially lying even though we had conversations about that and promised to be radically honest with each other! It hit me like a tonne of bricks. That truth, had I known it, would have changed almost everything in my relation to this connection, my decisions etc. All of the sudden, since I found out, there was very much the separate me who was hurting and felt betrayed by this person, the separate other. I noticed that this has always been a huge thing for me. To know the truth and the thought of someone who I deeply care about hiding something from me (for mostly selfish reasons) that has to do with me and /or directly affects me brings a huge amount of anxiety after the fact, caused by the utter disbelief that that person I trusted fully could have done this to me. But it’s always only after the fact, when I think back to what happened. There is not distrust or anxiety when I enter any relationship, interestingly. I ask myself, what’s at stake here. Why when I find out someone I care about has been deceiving, the utter disbelief that they would do that TO ME and the anxiety that comes with that and then the self-blame for not seeing that are astounding! It doesn’t even help knowing that in a way I’m a hypocrite, because I have hidden the truth from people I care about, I simply thought my reasons were noble! (Laughing at myself as I write this part). The impact of it really caught me of guard as I never thought that something like this could hit me this hard anymore. I know that this is a personal story but I feel that I’m not the only one who’s been deceived or lied to by people who we care about so I thought others may benefit from you addressing this subject. I’d greatly appreciate that.

Listener question: I know you've talked before about no self accountability, so I assume that's what you mean. I'm not sure how it applies? Do you mean to take NSA for the things that are looking true and real to me that are creating suffering? I get that when we see something in our past where we've made a mistake we can apologize without any self blame as we acted according to the program running at that time but now see it for what it was, but I can only see how this applies when something falls away, but not what seems true in the present. Does that make sense? What does present day accountability look like?

Listener question: I guess I’m curious about your next course and the subliminal recording. The only thing (or things) that hold me back are my concern that my symptoms will worsen during the course. The only reason I am concerned about this is that you mention it in your book Well. I am struggling a lot with my energy levels and I home school my child so I don’t want to get to the point where I literally grind to a halt! My other concern is (without sounding rude) I have done quite a few 3P course and read lots of books but haven’t found the elusive freedom that seems to be on offer. I don’t have a lot of spare cash but I am tempted to do your course and order a subliminal recording in the hope that I might get a bit closer to feeling better and having a easier experience of life. But I guess there is no guarantee that I will see what you will be pointing towards, which is why I am hesitating. As I said, I’m not really sure why I’m emailing you, I guess I want you to say that I will find freedom and I will see more, but obviously you can’t promise that. So I guess I’ll press send and see what you feel inspired to say in response.

This is Day 3 of a 3 day mini series about clean communication. Each day is a different exercise to do. If you are interested in going deeper into this topic of expression and authenticity, come and join us in November for the on-line course VOICE https://claredimond.com/current-live-program/

This is Day 2 of a 3 day mini series about clean communication. Each day is a different exercise to do. If you are interested in going deeper into this topic of expression and authenticity, come and join us in November for the on-line course VOICE https://claredimond.com/current-live-program/

This is Day 1 of a 3 day mini series about clean communication. Each day is a different exercise to do. If you are interested in going deeper into this topic of expression and authenticity, come and join us in November for the on-line course VOICE https://claredimond.com/current-live-program/

I was just listening to a podcast about how to be in the best situation to be open to insight. I heard, maybe incorrectly?, that you show up to whatever the situation is and bring a good feeling to it?This has confused me a little, as firstly, I have recently seen that we are not in control anyway, so how can we control the feeling we bring to something? And secondly, my brother has just had a cancer diagnosis, is it actually possible to bring a good feeling to that? I can see how I can ‘choose’ not to entertain the thoughts that pass through, add to them or catastrophise. But bringing a ‘good’ feeling to the situation seems like a doing rather than a being? If any of that makes sense? I just wondered what your take was on this, I keep hearing that we are not in control and this felt like a bit of a contradiction, an area that I am obviously not clear on. Does thought not create all feeling? I think there a space before thought? Any clarity on this would be great.

Listener question: I feel like my anxious energy is trapped in my body. It's usually there, I know there's still a lot more for me to see around who I really am, but is it a good idea to also try to release this energy? I know I've had childhood trauma (totally forgive my parents), and I also wonder if the constant panic attacks at work are a type of trauma as well. Finances always come into play when it comes to therapy, so I'm wondering if yoga or something else that can be done in a class or alone, would be helpful? I'm not really sure if this is the separate self that wants to feel better, but maybe some body/minds need a two pronged approach. Do some clients go for acupuncture or reiki? I could swing a monthly treatment, and perhaps that's better than nothing.

Listener question: Since the courses I was in before a lot of awareness has taken place, sometimes I have something constantly lit up; an example would be: wanting recognition, needing to be noticed.I have been listening to some podcasts that Tim Downs posted about clean questioning plus the additional one about impeccable words.My question is how will the healing unfold? I can clearly see how the 'recognigion' programing can be totally in awareness and therefore the rug is initially pulled, as it were. It's lit up there is nowhere to hide. But if we have the same old habit repeating, albeit with a lot less charge.. Why years later are we still experiencing the same?

[Follow up to 15 October podcast) Thank you so much for your podcast on my question.I‘m trying to write to you and describe what happened but I don‘t really know how. After listening to your podcast I cried for a while.. a space opened up. And things felt very different than usually before concerts.. almost to the point that I got suspicious if I should become more nervous again.. Afterwards I had a beautiful concert experience. I almost feel a bit ungrateful to ask this follow up question but it seems somehow important right now.. If a concert is a moment where I get challenged to let go of my selfidentity.. What happens afterwards?I noticed that after the concert I stayed in this amazing „open space“ for another two days. But slowly some habbits started coming back. I endet up occupying my mind with either TV or listening to podcasts, sort of trying to distract myself from something, but this time I didn‘t even know what I‘m trying to distract myself from..I have two more concerts to play but I don’t have this clear vision anymore what needs to get done until then. Also I got a cold which is a thing that seems to happen quite often to me before important events..I suspect that I‘m making up some stories there but can’t really see it.It still feels like somethings are fundamentally different. I don‘t feel so tight and scared anymore.. it almost feels to me that I‘m scared of this new freedom. Is that possible?Sorry for this long E-Mail..

My daughter, at University is having problems and it is consuming my thoughts at times. I see that I am in separation, there is a definite daughter and an actual problem to be solved,it also feels like I should be able, or its up to me, to solve it. Last night I found myself wracking my brains to see where this conversation can help me. "It's just thoughts" kept coming to mind, which I argued with myself that I am actually a thought too and I have jumped on a hamster wheel of trying to fix things, be in control. Then the fork in the road picture came to mind, well I'm on the left fork, the right fork it where I need to be, so how do I get there? Thinking so hard to figure it out. As you can see the ways I have felt in the past in this conversation have deserted me in favour of the separate world. In quieter moments I can see that I am identifying with her problems and1. thinking my anxieties have given her these thoughts, so she is taking after me, or2. I am using my experience and assuming her experience is exactly the same. I can see that I have knowledge that could help but am forcing it a bit too much. I find myself giving her suggestions I have not followed myself.

I really valued your two Podcasts last month on clean questions and have listened to them several times. I see a link between don Miguel Ruiz’s most important First Agreement; Be Impeccable With Your Word and Clean Language/Clean Coaching. Please can you expand further on what you mean by clean questions and where it originated? I am just about to order Radical Candor and I wondered how that ties in with clean questions too. Please can you share a further Podcast on this?

Learned 'helpFULness'

Listener question: Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the topic of selfidentity.. I am a musician and will soon have some concerts that seem very important for my future. I don‘t feel prepared enough, I have this feeling that I really don‘t know what is going to happen and if I will be able to play the pieces or if I will be too nervous. At the same time, I know that I would have the same feeling even if I had more time to prepare.I started wondering if playing in front of an audience kind of forces me to let go of the idea of who my self is. In the phases when I‘m freaking out about the concert the words „I‘m going to die“ crossed my mind a couple of times. I started wondering if thats actually what is happening: my self identity is questioned whether it‘s real or not, so there actually is a part of me that is under the threat of metaphorically dying..Also it feels so weird that the thing that is most important in my life is the one that now scares me to death.I‘m actually not really sure what my question is.. It just feels like such a massive risk to play. And I was wondering if you could share with me some thoughts on this.

Podcast to accompany today's blog post on the outside-in life https://claredimond.com/outside-in-life/

Listener question: Can you speak to the mind's tendency to hear/label statements like "there is no other" or "there is no self" or "any thought isn't true, all thoughts are untrue" or "this world is an illusion" as denial or bypassing illness, injury, racism, and other harms in this physical world? Is this a slippery way for the mind to reinforce itself and be "right" with its insistence that there IS a world, people, etc.? Or is the mind reinforcing itself when it avoids illness, injury, racism, etc. through using these statements? Both/And? No way to know?

I’m revisiting the material in the YOU course and during one of the lessons you spoke about the:“Localisation of being in this apparent form”I’m not sure that I quite understand what you mean! I get the second part, the apparent form, but can’t grasp what you mean by localisation of being! Would you be able to talk more about this on a Podcast sometime please?

Listener question: Where do I draw the line (part 2).

I've struggled with being significantly overweight most of my adult life and I'm finding myself more and more confused about it. This conversation has helped me to see more clearly around other suffering and I feel much more at peace with whatever arises. However, when I'm suffering about my weight (which is often) and I look at what's true, I get confused. It is true that it's healthier not being so overweight, and then there's hunger, I don't know when it's real or habit etc. Also, when you say that genuine change can never come unless identification with self falls away I get scared because I wonder if my motives to lose are to secure the self. I want to lose so I can be healthier, feel better and go up stairs without getting out of breath etc., but I also want to look better in my clothes - so I wonder if I'm trying to lose for the "wrong" reasons. Can you shed any light on this?

Conditioning, behaviour and choice

A brief summary of this episode