Superpowered Mind with Clare Dimond

I wanted to ask you or maybe just see your thoughts around something that happened for me yesterday. They were a job rejection and a strong angry reaction to a FB post that was about repeating days over and over not being a life.​ I see that reaction speaks directly to my own shame and embarrassment that my life seems to be just that - repeated, wasted days. Later that night I woke with thoughts of shame and disappointment of how my life seems to have turned out, that I am wasting my life and embarrassed of the perceived barriers that lay heavy on any creativity or potential. I compare myself to the collective "them" who are so much more worthy, useful and successful and the old me who could do the things I can't. So separate and lacking. I felt anger rise up and in my mind I am smashing against the walls that surround me and screaming as loud as I can. This was in my mind as my husband would have a start, but I silently screamed. I was reminded of something you had said about hitting at walls made of nothing but thin air. ​​​​​​​Today I don't feel different about my situation. I think I know what has to happen, VOICE was so brilliant and started me down that path. I just don't know who I am, I feel a bit lost.

'You mention Ho'oponopono how does it fit in this conversation?' Listener question

What is this heavy sense of guilt and wrongness that comes up from the depth of unconsciousness again and again? It comes up especially in dreams at night and in relation to people.

I am caught between wanting to change (lose weight, get fitter, move more) & being stuck not making those changes. I have plans to exercise & eat well every day, but rarely do. This has been an issue most of my life. Even thinking about it now brings tension & conflict feelings. I feel like I'm fighting myself. The one obstacle/habit is the pull to 'not move'. This started as a young teen when I moved away from family & friends & it was safer to keep my head down & not move/be quiet for hours each day (before then I was active & outside most of the time). I ended up sitting & thinking thinking, thinking, which eventually led to eating. Over the years I have found myself sitting & mindlessly thinking, eating for hours (& sometimes rocking back & forth) wasting days. My husband would work on a Saturday & I would mean to do so much with my day, but I would end up sitting, thinking & eating & then rushing to tidy up/ shower before he got home. I would then lie about my day's activities. The inevitable weight gain killed my marriage & I am now doing the same in my current relationship. There is real fear about this relationship ending & being alone, but there is also sadness/anger about not being loved unless I'm this different active slim person.What is going on with me & how do I break this habit (I am now in my 50s)?

Every Sunday we'll look at a different book. Ideally one that is about the 'real' world and which is relevant or useful for a conversation about spirituality, non-duality or reality. Today we are looking at Algorithms to Live By by Brian Christian.

Why, when someone tells me they love me, I often can't feel that come into my being? Is it because I don't know myself as love in that moment, or is thought telling me I'm unlovable or is it that it doesn't sound sincere (which is also a thought in that moment), or just what's up with that? Maybe it's all of these things.

Can spirituality have practical implications? Listener question

Listener question: do we need to be enlightened to help people?

[Question abridged so that we can focus on the principles involved rather than the content of the experience. ]I understand that you are very clear about spiritual bypassing. That’s why I have a question.Can there be a difference between spiritual well-being and effectively helping people?[explanation of situation] I was neither free of resentment, nor was I in a clear, calm mind when I acted. It was urgent, I acted, I got what I wanted and that’s peace for the people who live there under my watch.When I listened to your episode on Ausschwitz I took away, how we should really always start with ourselves, which makes total sense. I can see my resentment towards this family- they also threatened to kill me but it somehow was a warm goodbye in the end. “They” are beautiful people. I can see that. But it was irrelevant for the solution.Isn’t my spiritual well-being completely irrelevant? What role does spirituality have in situations like this? Is spiritual advice even needed?

If the outside world is only ever a reflection of our inner life, which it seems to be, how is it that things appear to be happening for everyone? I am speaking about vaccination schedules, governement restrictions, masks, lockdowns etc. Though we are all experiencing these things differently, they are happening..arent they? Just as in world war 2, there really was a war even though everyone had their own unique experience of it. Is this to do with collectively manisfesting something on the outside due to our similar inner worlds??

I'm enjoying the book REAL but I have hit a block with the chapter on custody. Can you say more about it please?Chapter 8 REAL You are not in control Trying to assume personal control—over anything—is simply not possible. What a relief.Garret Kramer Imagine that you are driving and you bump another car. The other driver gets out of the car in full rage. You have no control over what this driver will do. She could do anything.You also have no control over the thoughts that appear in your mind at that moment:‘How dare she swear at me!’ or‘I need to get away from her.’ or‘She looks upset, poor thing.’Whichever thoughts seem real to you in that moment will give rise to your behaviour:You might swear back.You might walk away.You might ask if she is OK.You are not in control of the other driver. You are not in control of your thoughts about her. You are not in control of the behaviour that results from the thoughts.You are not in control of any of it. Does this mean you are an automaton?Are you just an oblivious receiver and transmitter of whatever is believed?Yes… In a way…The body-mind is the expression of whatever is being believed in that moment. In a very real sense, it is a programmed robot. Executing whatever programme is installed. Where things get confusing is that we believe that we are an individual self, housed within the body-mind, controlling all its actions. But there was no self controlling how language or driving or listening was learned. That just happened. And the self that we really are, is the awareness of that. Who we really are is the space in which all of life is appearing. The consciousness we are brings thought alive as though it were real. It also allows the realisation that thoughts are ever-changing, transient, neutral mental energy.Inherent in this gift is 100% custody for what you believe in any moment. And 100% custody for what you do as a consequence of that belief, even though what you believe is out of your control.Crazy isn’t it? Even though you have no control over the road woman, for the moment that she is in your life, she is in your care. Every single thing about her is perceived through your mind in that moment. She can’t exist for you other than through your experience of her. It is the same for all thoughts. You have no control over when and how and what will appear. Once these thoughts appear in your head, though, they are in your custody. You have no choice about the behaviours that come from those thoughts. The behaviours though are in your custody. Only yours.So there we have it: 100% custody of anything that appears within our awareness, 0% control.

'I am sensitive to negative energy' Listener question

The infinite potential of aliveness in perception-created form...!!!

Happy end of 2021 and a look at 'endings'

'Who does the transcending, and what prompts the idea to observe, to transcend?' Listener question

Can you speak to the innocence of the motivation to attempt to secure, or make solid, this transitory ephemeral idea of a me? How do we see this as innocent, rather than as a terrible, thing? Is this even an accurate description when there's no chooser?Being part of this conversation with you has entered a question of how many objects, relationships, situations, have been an attempt to make this transitory idea of a "me" stable.

'I can't not resist' Listener question

'What is the identified mind?' Listener question

Just giving voice to the things I spoke of on today's call multiplied the weight of them. It really is all a matter of where the attention is directed. I don't want to give more weight/authority to the story. I don't really want to pay much attention to the story at all. Would much rather just be in life and enjoy every minute of it. So how can one NOT end up in a form of bypass in order to stay in flow?

Follow up to self blame is an ego trip (10 Dec 2021) Thank you for doing this so thoughtfully 💚.I listened to the podcast umpteen times, and yes I get it.the ego ran the show for so long it’s still protesting against life. When I see my behaviour and witness it more and more I feel the impact it has and it’s terrible, there is no forgiveness in that.It’s like watching a car crash over and over again. So are you saying I have to watch the car crash without doing anything about it?? I always hoped that when I’m aware enough I can prevent this shameful behaviour.I’m desperate for change.

I have a question about subliminals. Is there a right or wrong time for this? I started listening to your work half a year ago and it was so scary and over my head that I stopped. Then I came back later and now there seems to be less inner resistance or protection.Can it be too soon? I am endlessly curious but how do I know that I am ready for it? Also, if I spend this money on subliminals (I am a social worker and a single mother, so it’s quite an amount for me) am I really sure that I want nothing in return? Don’t I instantly want a change while knowing this attitude send me to hell and prison the last months? The subliminals would be some kind of blind trust which really feels right. Can you help me find out if it’s right for me?

What worries me the most that there is no relief or release. I stay in the stress, tension. Even with good, pleasant things, situations, or situations that go well. I go back to stress, hate etc. It's like I can't allow good things or happiness anymore.

hi Clare I am divorced from my wife and we don’t have children. She has remarried. My mum is in her 90s and i said I will go to see her for Christmas Day but the whole thing is just making me feel so lonely. I have people I speak to in work but we don’t have the sort of relationship to meet up afterwards. I did have old friends from college but they are all quite far away and busy with their own things. I would like to have a partner and I’ve tried to meet someone but nothing seems to work. Each year I just feel more and more alone. I know someone might say loneliness is just my thinking but it doesn’t feel like it.

I listened to your podcast and read your book and of course you scare the hell out of me. Thank you for that.I will try to put my question into words, English is not my first language and I am also not familiar with the words you use. However I try to ask a question about how we create our world.I used to date a lot. After being in a very long relationship I threw myself out there. It was awesome, exciting and devastating. For one and a half years I experienced a range of emotions in a seemingly meaningful, certainly hurtful way. I was like on autopilot, repetitive behavior, the same story over and over again. My mind created heartbreak and drama for 18 Months. The protagonists changed continuously, so it wasn’t about any of them. Then it stopped.Now I see what it was there for. How it helped me to understand what my mind is capable of. All the drama that makes me feel so free and alive is quite the opposite. But kind of amazing to. When I was fully in it, the (Tinder-)Algorithm presented guys on a regular basis. Handsome, smart, funny. To that time I felt like all those amazing men came into my life. Now it feels like I fabricated the entire thing. It appears to have come directly from my imagination. Like I was thinking of a lack of tenderness and there comes heartbroken a guy, talking about how sensitive and tender he is. I felt like I needed security, the came along a crav maga instructor. I sensed a feeling of lack or need and it was fulfilled for a second until it wasn’t. Like my sense of what I need was precisely attacked.The cycle was like this: Sense of lack- search - match - wonderful feelings – disappointment - Sense of lack- search - match - wonderful feelings – disappointment Like gradual deconstruction. That was the word what came to mind over and over again, deconstruction. And the more I see that, the less I can reconstruct the old building. As if I not able to produce that. I cant make it up. Its emptyI recently realized how I have this kind of magical thinking a lot... It is clear what kind of dream theater happened there. In this case, the appearance or absence of men is probably just a psychological processBut then my mind turns it around like: So when I get the “right” attitude then I can change the outside world. There is this one side which is so clearly made up. And then there is the other where it is so clear that whatever I think or say will not change what is about to happen. Can you see what is confusing me? How can there be such a clear manifestation of the felt sense of lack AND at the same time it feels so cocky to think I can control the outside world by doing/feeling/seeing something the “right” way.It isn’t easy to put this into words. I hope this makes any sense to you at all. I guess, I am looking for magic.

My husband's job is to teach people to live in the now. He has helped hundreds of ordinary people that have been referred by mental health charities and the NHS etc. Some of these people get better after a lifetime of anxiety. He takes them straight to the experience of their true nature and they get it! He lives in the now too and doesn't worry about anything. Ever. You could say he is free. We often have discussions on the topic of the self. His 'argument 'is that if the self is illusory and has no free will /personal agency then who is it that is helping these people get better and how come these separate selves are improving? He feels that this is not random ie. it's just what's happening - and finds the approach that some non-duality teachers ( Jim et al) take would not help these people out of their suffering in the same way that Mike's approach seems to.These teachers sometimes say "there is nothing you can do '' to help anyone. It's just what it is and yet 5 people have been guided to their true nature and awareness in the last week! Mike knows that he is following his internal guidance system at an individuated level of the all that is, but this doesn't seem random to him. This question is a bit unwieldy. Do you see where he is coming from?

I noticed when i hear something in the media about a certain movement i want to speak up to my family.A couples years ago i left a community i was in since birth. I couldnt handle the rules all based (to my opinion) on fear, guild, and sin.From that moment on my family socialy declared me death. My siblings no longer talked to me according to the rules of the community.Sometimes i really want to speak up to them and let them know how it hurts they never contacted me again. I had some hope they come around. Becauce i never changed on a deep level. I "only" have different thoughts about life works.But i know it will make no difference. In there eyes iam the lost one. The lost sheep.I am sometimes stuggeling with it. I think it is acknowledgement i want from them. Being heard. Loved instead of feared. But they believe they will be punised by God if they are socially interacting with me.Maybe it's a mirror? Can i acknowledge it hurts me (or this mind body system) from time to time. Can i allow i choose a different pad in life and don't need permission from them to feel okay, whole.It must be a mirror! But its SEEMS they are the problem. Out there! This community! But i also see the flux in it becauce there are periods i don't even think about them or any of it.

'What is the ego and what am I if not that?'

I'm in knots trying to work out what to cook for dinner. I just can't find anything suitable. Suddenly I am full of self pity because it always seems to be me who has to solve this VAST problem. I can't do it! Then I just give up and experience peace. Time passes...and then it transpires that everyone is actually out this evening and its just me I have to cook for, so I'm off the hook. I have used this as an example of my inner wisdom, but I am not sure anymore. It is like there is two forms of wisdom...wisdom that wants to keep the identity safe and make it feel good, and wisdom that just unfolds like life itself.**Here is the question**: is the pulling back from the stressful experience of having to choose A og B a form of false wisdom? I often experience a pulling back, because I know my thinking will change. But, what I have learned on this course is that going up to edge of the unpleasant feeling, to look for the ME who is experiencing this, is a way to transcend a small program within the larger program (like transcending one record in a record shop that exist to play records). Is pulling back a way that ensures that the record will play again and again, until I see that it has nothing to do with who I really am?

What I'm noticing is that I often begrudge other people's successes. I have judgemental and contemptuous thoughts and fear of other people's work being better than mine. I can see there is a desire to be special. Even being in this conversation brings out these feelings of superiority. This feels jarring because the thing I want to do (or at least what my mind is telling me I want to do) is to support people and lift them up. I get that these are just thoughts. I don't choose them and I am able to act from a place of support regardless. It's horrible though. I can see that the other constructed version of myself as 'nice' and supportive is fighting against this shadow side with all of these resentments and meanness. I know the whole point is that we let everything in. I know that real freedom is allowing all of this. I do wish it would go away though so I could enjoy being 'nice me' properly!! I guess I need to fully allow this to teach me what there is to see? Whenever I hear people like yourself I can't help but think, I bet she doesn't think these nasty things like me!

In a recent podcast you encouraged us to gravitate toward our discomfort, get curious about it rather than flee from it. I tend to be a conflict avoider, spending energy protecting the non-existent “me.” For example, I avoid my husband when his weather is stormy. Although there are swells and troughs, his baseline aggravation is high. Even as I write this, I am trying to be aware of my own projections around it. His irritation is often directed at our children, and when I don’t join him in his gripes, he feels betrayed and unsupported. If I enjoy time with them that is light and unencumbered, he seems resentful or jealous. When I try to soften toward him, he hardens. I see we are both stuck in a story of “This is not how things should be.” He wants our family to be more in line with his expectations. I want him to love us and himself for who we are. Yet do I love him for who he is? I do love his essence, the loving person I sometimes glimpse behind the armor, but I don’t love the aggravation and accusation. Over the years I have become braver about trying to communicate with him. These attempts usually result in him getting defensive and me feeling sad and resigned. I have felt his verbal bullets pass through me like air, no “me” to trap them anymore. I don’t feel my happiness relies on his, but I am so sad that we can’t seem to share happiness together. Where are my blind spots here?

1) Looking at the world scale problems I often see greed as the main driver which causes the problems. Some days ago after reading your book Sane I got an insight that greed is only a symptom of our phantom self which is perceived separate, lacking, not enough etc. The end of this madness will come only by realisation- lifting awareness of who we truly are, a space where life arises and that the self which is being defended, secured is only a mirage in the desert. 2) I have a question for your podcast :) Looking at self improvement field in my eyes look as tool to get in this endless search to be better, to get better, to feel better. But more as I look at it I see this phenomena produces more problems than solutions. It takes us to this neverending journey where goal or peak of the mountain is even not seen and defined. So I wonder when/how do we know when is enough?

I was wondering about gender identity and sexual orientation. I guess this is a big part of the identity. We were talking a lot about identity being a learned thing, or a program. But it really doesn't seem to me that gender identity or sexual orientation is a learned program, but much more like an inner knowing. Is there a step before the identity? Like being born a certain way, and only the step of describing what is already inside makes it part of the identity?(Sorry I think my English isn't good enough to phrase this last sentence, I'm not sure if I'm making sense..)

Thank you so much for your guidance through the last two months. I'm so glad to have had all those wonderful, scary and liberating experiences.And I'm sorry for not replying sooner.. I think this might have something to do with the question I've been hoping to ask..After this stressful time it felt like I needed a break. Looking back at this break I'm quite sure that my ego felt like it needed a break from being constantly under threat. From what I understood so far, this might be a good moment to move into more discomfort, because the ego is playing its tricks.. But how can I actually just take a break without letting the ego, the fears, the wanting to hide at home take over?Something in this question seems fishy but I can't see what it is.. 😂

You speak often of doing the thing that scares us to show us where the 'self' is showing up. What if I have been doing the thing for over a decade and it's led to horrific anxiety (panic attacks GAD insomnia) It's been a decade now. I worked for two decades without any problems and then as soon as financial insecurity showed up I had one panic attack and boom, my life forever changed. I feel like I'm in the deep end and there's not the opportunity to go in slow. The program still seems to think this is the way I have to earn a living as everything I look into comes to a dead end. I also know that I worked so many years without this issue, so why not again? I know that my brain has changed and this system is looping around on the same neural pathways that have now been created. Does it take time for the systems' auto pilot of body reactions to change. I feel like my nervous system is so revved up all the time that it's stuck in my body and this is now my life, which I want to heal, and don't know how.

The self here is still grappling with the stark notion of ruthless self criticism as an ego trip. I see the necessity to take responsibility for that and at the same time it leads to more self criticism. Who is taking responsibility for what?

How can I be happy despite pain and fatigue? (Listener question.)

Do you think "3p" has shortcomings?Sometimes it looks to me that the aspect of inquiring is shut down by saying "it's just your thinking". In the end yes indeed ("direct path")but sometimes to have a better understanding of the body mind system, and where i picked up some believes (religion, work environment etcetera) the mind is more willing to let it fall away. And ofcourse it is my personal experience. Your teaching is bit more forgiving. That is what i found refreshing in your courses.

A brief summary of this episode

‘Why when I know something needs my attention (in my case money management) do I push my head further into the sand. It makes absolutely no sense, the ongoing discomfort as a consequence of this must be worse than actually talking the action?? You have touched on this in the Voice course (remaining in a comfort zone etc) but somehow money ‘seems’ to hold so much more fear?? Why does this happen around money?? Thank you’

Can we talk about choices/being the choice maker some more! :)There are times when I see it clearly (most of the time, I believe)and there are times when I get confused. For ex. there are many times when I can see my train of negative/painful thoughts and I can see that if I get on it, the ride won’t be fun. So there are moments when I feel “I” am choosing not to get on it by distracting myself by whatever comes to mind in that moment OR when you encourage us to do an exercise, go do the thing, it seems to me that there is “me” choosing whether I want to do it or not based on the information from you. There are times when it feels I am choosing to see something differently, a situation or person etc. Even the recent realisation I talked about where I blamed someone for doing something and then examined myself only to see I was capable of the same. So it looks as though I was looking at myself and I came to those conclusions. I don’t feel it’s got anything to do with conditioning or any script in the background but purely acting in a moment, one way or another based on the information in that moment. I don’t know if it makes sense so I’d love to hear you talk about that. Where’s my confusion coming from or what am I not seeing? Thank you! ❤️

You talk about not believing the mind. In my opinion that is so dangerous. Is this a cult? Is it brainwashing? Is it an attempt to shut down reason and analysis?

hi Clare I listen to the news and I see all the terrible things going on in the world - the violence, climate change, poverty, the pandemic. We need to take action on all of this right now not sit around wondering about the self and about what I am. Spirituality seems totally self indulgent when there is so much that must be changed . We first need to sort out all the issues in the world - like climate change, racism, violence etc and only then should we turn our attention to ourselves.

Listener question: we're the space witnessing the program, but what questions it? The system can't question itself, but it seems we need the mind to do so?

A brief summary of this episode

My daughter is often silenced, seemly unable to say word,s even when she has come home (from Uni) with an issue of some kind. I ask her and eventually just offer general words of support hoping it helps. But I am left frustrated and feeling I have failed her somehow. I have looked at where I see this in myself and know I have done the exact same thing, most often when I am anxious and afraid, which has been often over the last few years. This could be why she worries me, as I see her as being the same, I think she must be anxious and afraid too.Logically I see any number of reasons could be the cause but I am confused by my own conditioning or memories.

You've said that identity, creativity and money are made up of the same thing?I'm still not clear so I'm going to take a stab at it and you tell me what you think? Straighten me out so I can get this...Thought created - the identity (mind), what the identity thinks about money and what the identity thinks about creativity - all created from thought/conditioning/beliefs. It's ALL activity of mind. And when you say the "same thing" besides being a product of "activity of mind" what the mind thinks about the identity is the same thing it thinks about creativity and money?For instance, this identity here had the conditioning of I can't make money without struggle, I can only make a certain amount of money, I didn't go to the big elite universities where there are connections to other wealthy families, my family wasn't wealthy - so i can only make so much money. Or I'm not really creative. No one in my family paints or dances or sings or sculpts or anything creative. So creativity isn't something I have. I'm NOT creative. So those thoughts, beliefs, conditioning above about the identity/self and the identity's relationship to thoughts of money and creativity - ALL the same thing! One big masterpiece of limitation and suffering!

Listener message: I wanted to write to you since a long time! It will be a very boring mail without any questions… I just want to thank you. Life got so much easier since I met you. Nothing in the outer world changed, one the contrary: I still am dating without success, my mother got a stroke and is now paralyzed and needs 24 hour care, my stepfather is looking after her and on the verge of breaking down, my sisters husband got diagnosed with cancer one week ago and will be in chemotherapy the next two months daily after the operation next week,… I am just writing this to say it is not suddenly all blissful and eternal sunshine…But it got quieter.The constant chattering in my head went away. Things get done, words are spoken - but in a way I am not involved. Or very much involved, depending on the view. I burst into tears seeing a policeman organizing the traffic around the Corona-riots. Just out of admiration for him being so serious about organizing the traffic - and for the anti-vaccine-rioters for being so serious about their views… and for the pro-vaccine-rioters who were trying to prevent the riots with more rioting… Things are so serious and so not serious at the same time around me.It got clearer to me that the „I“ is a construct of multiple minds (mine and others), a device which is fed by genetics and conditioning (and when genetics is seen as conditioning of the ancestors, then there is only conditioning left = learned patterns in reaction to secure survival which made sense once or still does). Things are happening, I react, I get angry, I am sad, I am laughing, I say something or nothing - just without the noise in my head of figuring out how I will be secured in the future or ruminating about how I was doing in the past.And so I go on listening to your podcasts - and every day a layer of the onion gets removed and it is a step deeper - or not - until it does again :-)

I’m also noticing a desire for this house cleaning (or weight loss/health) struggle to be serving some sort of higher purpose - or relating to struggle or lack of action in these spaces like it’s some sort of self-sabotage, but in the absence of a self…. it can’t quite be self-sabotage can it? And what’s the point to the identity of relating to one’s behavior as self-sabotage. Why would identity do that?

Listener question: I *just* realized how personally I take my husband’s criticism of our home (it’s a mess). And that got me thinking that it’s not just his criticism but my own criticism from within about what it means about me as a person, a mother, and a wife that the house is a mess. How is our own self-criticism not personal? Is it too just a learned pattern, and how does one learn that (or unlearn it)?

Can you talk about why each time there is suffering and resistance against something , it is an opportunity over and over again for healing? Is it that each time we see that the brain creates separation via the self concept - and this feels painful, and each time we see that it's a temporary creation then there is opportunity for healing? It feels like there's something missing here.