Securely Attached

In this episode, sleep specialist Eileen Henry and I discuss a common challenge: how to get your child to make it all the way through the night in their own bed. Eileen helps us unravel this complex issue by addressing: Assessing the Situation: When to let it be and when to make a change. Understanding Motivations: Identifying whether the desire to reclaim your bed is for personal space, relationship reasons, or concerns about your child's development. Balancing Needs: The importance of ensuring everyone gets quality sleep and how this impacts overall family wellbeing. Setting and Holding Boundaries: Strategies to help your child transition to their own bed while maintaining emotional security. Attunement and Emotional Health: Teaching kids to recognize and respond to negative emotions in a healthy way. Practical Tips and Tools: Using physical boundaries like gates, incorporating dress rehearsals for bedtime, and the power of storytelling and play in easing transitions. Whether you're struggling with co-sleeping, managing separation anxiety, or just seeking better sleep for your family, this episode is packed with practical advice and compassionate support! LEARN MORE ABOUT EILEEN HENRY: https://compassionatesleepsolutions.com/ BOOK A CONSULTATION WITH EILEEN HENRY: https://compassionatesleepsolutions.com/free-consultation-process/ DOWNLOAD MY FREE TODDLER SLEEP GUIDE: 7 ways to help create a more peaceful and effective nighttime routine LISTEN TO MORE EPISODES WITH EILEEN HENRY: Navigating sleep with a baby The basics of toddler sleep CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL EPISODES WE REFERENCED: RIE (Resources for Infant Educarers) from birth with Deborah Carlisle Solomon Evolving the principles of RIE to grow into respectful parenting with Janet Lansbury Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE) with Eli Lebowitz

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... 1:50 - It's very developmentally typical for toddlers to have trouble with sharing and also there are things you can do to encourage and build this skill. 7:25 - At 2.5 years-old, kids will likely need an adult to narrate and also facilitate the sharing so they learn how it's done. 11:40 - Kids can become territorial at this age, so it can be helpful to have playdates at neutral places, like a park or a playground. 13:40 - When you see your child start to get territorial, try to see this as an indicator that they need to take a break rather than a cue to teach them the importance of sharing - that can be done later, when they are more regulated and in control. 16:47 - To build the skill of sharing, it's helpful to break this down into smaller tasks like tolerating frustration, setting healthy boundaries, and perspective taking. 19:30 - We also want to be mindful not to encourage our kids to share without any limitations or we risk them feeling compelled to become more of a people pleaser. WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT HOW YOU CAN PARENT YOUR DAUGHTER SO SHE DOESN'T BECOME A PEOPLE PLEASER? Listen to the podcast episode we reference in this conversation ✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

When a child is born, so too is a mother. In this episode, we'll explore this metamorphosis and how the abrupt shift into motherhood can shatter our former identity into many different parts (and why that doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing). Joining me is Rebecca Geshuri and Jessica Sorci, the brilliant creators behind The Mothercentric Approach, which blends Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy with maternal mental health. Rebecca and Jessica will help listeners understand IFS and how "parts work" can be vital for mothers. By acknowledging and accepting these different parts, mothers can begin to heal and integrate them, forming a more cohesive and balanced sense of self. This integration can shift how we feel about ourselves and how we show up as parents, leading to a more compassionate and effective approach to motherhood. LEARN MORE ABOUT THE MOTHERCENTRIC APPROACH - FOR MOMS: https://www.mothercentric.com/for-moms LEARN MORE ABOUT THE MOTHERCENTRIC APPROACH - FOR PRACTITIONERS: https://www.mothercentric.com/for-practitioners

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... 2:27 - Reframe your goal from being about maintaining the specific friendships to be about maintaining the social skills your child has acquired over the school year instead. 4:13 - Using summer as your child's opportunity to get to try something new and allow them to explore different parts of themselves. 6:26 - If a child has struggled in the past, the friendships they have may feel precious and fragile now, and that can make kids and parents alike feel anxious that this might go away. 10:12 - It's helpful not to measure your child's social success based on their age and encourage them to have friends who are a year or two younger, if that they are lacking some social skills. 14:43 - Tangible tips you can implement to support your child's social skills and encourage their building and maintaining deep friendships. 19:10 - Having a plan-b with a singular person activity can be helpful for your child to have in their back pocket to play with if they struggle to join into a social group. ✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

Reduce stress around mealtimes and help your child be more flexible with what they eat! Joining me today is Dr. Yaara Shimshoni, a clinical psychologist and a clinical assistant professor at the Yale School of Medicine, Child Study Center. We'll explore the complexities of Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) and its distinction from typical picky eating. Yaara will detail how this severe eating disorder impacts children's health and social lives, and offer practical strategies for parents to reduce stress around mealtimes, encourage flexibility in eating habits, and break the cycle of accommodation that often exacerbates these issues. Plus, we'll help parents take the guiding principles of a therapy approach called SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions), and learn how to apply it with kids who are showing more normative picky eating challenges, that are not clinical, but still can be frustrating and exasperating for parents to navigate. LEARN MORE ABOUT YAARA: Yaara Shimshoni WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT SPACE, CHECK OUT MY INTERVIEW WITH THE CREATOR, DR. ELI LEBOWITZ: Listen to the episode

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... 1:53 - What "positive parenting" really is from a psychological perspective. 4:20 - Our child's development is not always linear, it's important to consider their regulation level and other situational factors when we set our expectations of them. 5:20 - As parents, we're often more triggered when our elementary-aged and older kids exhibit "bad behaviors." 7:19 - How to have a productive conversation with your child to pregame, collaboratively problem solve, and reflect on hot moments together once they are back in a regulated state. 9:10 - For older kids, you may need more structured behavioral interventions beyond just validating emotions and reflecting their feelings back to them. 14:17 - How to tailor your parenting approach to your unique child, rather than just accepting universal parenting strategies that may not be a good fit for you and your family. ✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

From neurological changes during pregnancy to the demands of parenthood, we explore the science behind "mom-rage" and how mindfulness can help rewire our responses. Here to help us explore the meaning behind anger, the difference between reactivity and responsiveness, and practical steps to navigate mom-rage with grace and understanding is Diana Winston. Diana is the Director of Mindfulness Education at UCLA's Mindful Awareness Research Center and is the author of The Little Book of Being: Practices and Guidance for Uncovering Your Natural Awareness. Whether you're a parent struggling with anger or simply curious about the transformative potential of mindfulness, this episode offers valuable insights and practical tools for navigating the complexities of parenthood and curating a mindfulness practice amidst the chaos of daily life. LEARN MORE ABOUT DIANA WINSTON: https://dianawinston.com/ DOWNLOAD THE UCLA MINDFUL APP FOR FREE GUIDED MEDITATIONS: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/ucla-mindful/id1459128935

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about... 3:10 - What you can be on the lookout for to alert you to the fact that you are (or aren't) properly attuning to your child. 5:10 - Strategies to help parents attune to children whose cues and signals are harder to read and understand. 9:36 - Focusing on a granular moment can lead to confusion for parents, but zooming out can help you be more accurate in your understanding of what your child needs. 13:16 - Being a "good enough" parent is not just something we must settle for, it's actually scientifically-proven to be beneficial and necessary for a child's healthy development. 16:58 - Moments of misattunements help our child learn that there will be imperfections in their interpersonal relationships, which is an important life lesson. ✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

Are we asking the wrong questions when it comes to our kids' screen usage? In a world where technology isn't going away, the right questions may be less about time limits, access, and controlling their behaviors and more about how we can build a child's internal regulation system and rewire the reward center in their brain and body that screens are designed to hijack. Joining me to offer a paradigm shift for the way we approach technology with children is somatic educator and therapist, Alé Duarte. Alé emphasizes the importance of going beyond mere behavior management and equipping children with the tools they need to override the algorithms designed to keep them glued to their screens. Whether you're a parent, therapist, educator, or caregiver, this episode offering you strategies for approaching technology through the lens of neuroscience and psychology is one you won't want to miss! LEARN MORE ABOUT ALÉ DUARTE: https://www.aleduarte.com/ RESERVE YOUR SPOT IN HIS TRAINING SERIES, SCREEN MASTERS: Live Classes start on Thursday May 23, 2024

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... 2:04 - There are many dilemmas parents often face that can be seen inside of this listener's question: Weighing the pros and cons of whether staying at home or going to work is the best for you, your child, and your unique situation. If you do choose to use childcare, what type is most ideal for your child. And finally, addressing the struggles surrounding your child's potential separation anxiety. 3:58 - There is no right or wrong answer to any of these questions. 7:05 - This decision shouldn't only be about your child. It's also important to ask yourself: What is best for me? 7:58 - This decision doesn't have to be permanent - if it's feeling overwhelming, you can reframe this to be what is right for me and my family right now. 12:30 - Weighing between sending your child to daycare, bringing in a nanny, or staying home with your children. 15:06 - Even if you are a stay-at-home parent you can add in opportunities for your child to learn to trust other caregivers and to experience separations. ✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

Our past experiences shape our present behaviors and patterns, but by working toward healing our inner child, we can make meaningful shifts! Jennifer Nurick joins me to discuss a profound way to approach healing by integrating many treatment approaches, including attachment theory, Internal Family Systems, EMDR, somatic psychotherapy, and more. In this episode, we explore practical strategies for healing past traumas and nurturing inner and outer secure attachments through "parts work." Plus, Jennifer shares poignant examples of how this work translates into real-life interactions, especially in the realm of parenting, where attunement and repair are crucial for overall mental health and well-being. LEARN MORE ABOUT JENNIFER: https://www.psychotherapycentral.health/ READ JENNIFER'S BOOK: Heal Your Anxious Attachment: Release Past Trauma, Cultivate Secure Relationships, and Nurture a Deeper Sense of Self INTERESTED IN LEARNING MORE ABOUT ATTACHMENT SCIENCE? Click HERE to download my free guide, The Four Pillars of Fostering Secure Attachment, helping you parent with a focus on attunement and trust.

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about... 2:25 - Awareness and acceptance of the situation is your first step. 3:30 - Whether or not your ex is a narcissist, if you don't feel your co-parent is able to properly support your child emotionally, these strategies we offer will apply for all of those situations, too. 5:54 - Finding the delicate balance between not projecting your own feelings or "bad-mouthing" your co-parent to your child, while also not white-washing your child's feelings or gaslighting them either. 8:01 - How to use reflective functioning to help empower your child to cope when they are resistant to wanting to spend time with their other parent. 13:50 - Intentionally adding in elements for fun and delight in your own interactions with your child to help create security in your relationship. ✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

Navigating the complex terrain of youth sports while promoting positive body image and mental wellness! Joining me is Zoë Bisbing, a psychotherapist specializing in body image and eating disorders and the creator of Body-Positive Home. In this episode, we emphasize the importance of creating secure attachments from the start, laying a foundation of resilience that can withstand diet-culture and societal pressures. We delve into the challenges faced by children in aesthetic sports, discussing the delicate balance between encouraging our children's passion and weighing the potential risks to their physical and mental well-being. Tune in as we explore the intersection of resilience, body positivity, and parenting, and discover practical ways to cultivate a nurturing environment where all bodies are valued and celebrated!

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about... 1:48 - A tantrum is a behavioral expression of emotions that feel to big to express in a productive manner. 2:25 - Tantrums typically tend to start around one-year-old and petter out by about 7. 6:37 - Try to compare your child to their own emotion regulation development and not compare them to another child. 9:37 - It's helpful to track the intensity, duration, and frequency of your child's tantrums - because our memories of these high stress times can often be flawed and being able to look at a log is very helpful. Click here to download my FREE OBSERVATION TRACKER to help you log these behaviors over the course of a week and work to change it over the course of 3 weeks. 14:10 - The red flags you should be on the lookout for that might mean there is something abnormal with your child's tantrums. WANT TO TAKE THIS TOPIC EVEN FURTHER? CHECK OUT THESE BOOKS, PRODUCTS, AND RESOURCES: HELPFUL BOOKS: The Tantrum Survival Guide: Tune In to Your Toddler's Mind (and Your Own) to Calm the Craziness and Make Family Fun Again by Rebecca Schrag Hershberg, PhD Brain-Body Parenting: How to Stop Managing Behavior and Start Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids by Mona Delahooke, PhD Beyond Behaviors: Using Brain Science and Compassion to Understand and Solve Children's Behavioral Challenges by Mona Delahooke, PhD ON-DEMAND COURSE FOR COMBATTING TANTRUMS: Learn exactly how to reduce the frequency, intensity and duration of your child's tantrums in my self-paced course, The Science of Tantrums. ✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

Discover how you can use food to teach your children about acceptance, tolerance, and the beauty of cultural diversity! Joining me is Priya Krishna. Priya is a food reporter and video host for the New York Times and the bestselling author of multiple cookbooks including her new kid's cookbook, Priya's Kitchen Adventures. From redefining what constitutes a "kid recipe" to navigating picky eating habits, in this episode, Priya shares practical tips for making food playful, fun, and educational. Her mouthwatering recipes will offer you an easy entry point to teach your kids to embrace diversity and expand their palate, one delicious bite at a time.

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about... 3:10 - Resilience and distress tolerance is baked into being a younger sibling. 5:31 - When you have the bandwidth to slow down to allow your child to foster their independence, try to lean into those moments. 7:32 - We often expect our youngest to keep up with our oldest. 8:43 - Unpacking the guilt we often feel about parenting multiple children. 11:09 - How to be "transparent about the triaging" we're doing and why we're doing what. 15:20 - How to shift these strategies to apply to younger children and help toddlers adjust to having a new baby sibling, too. ✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

This week my conversation about finding the beauty in life and learning to accept the inevitability of death with Rabbi Steve Leder continues. Along with being the Rabbi at Wilshire Boulevard Temple in Los Angeles Rabbi Steve Leder is the author of five books, including The Beauty of What Remains and his newest book, For You When I Am Gone. We're discussing how to answer your kid's questions about the afterlife, the best and worst things to say to someone who is grieving, how to model for our kids the power of showing up in the face of loss, and how to accept and embrace the non-linear process of grieving. This two-part episode will offer you tangible tools for infusing your daily life with even more meaning, purpose, and a profound sense of connection.

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... 2:46 - Travel days can be free-for-alls when it comes to kids and screens - and that's okay. 7:10 - Incorporating a "brain break," a "snack break," and a "reading break" into your travel routine. 10:29 - Context switching can be difficult for children and is often something we need to help them build skills for, rather than expecting them to just be able to do it on their own. 12:08 - Dr. Rebecca shared some reflections of her own vulnerable parenting moments in real-time - sharing how even this conversation was kicking up feelings of shame and defensiveness, and how she worked through them. 16:14 - How to be kinder to ourselves and make mindset shifts when things don't go quite as planned. 20:58 - Modeling appropriate screen use can be one of the most effective forms of teaching (but we don't have to do it perfectly all the time to still have an impact!) ✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

Having to explain and help our kids process and grasp the concept of death, whether in a moment where it affects them personally, or simply as a concept as a whole, can be a particularly challenging conversation for parents to navigate. Joining me is Rabbi Steve Leder. Along with being the Rabbi at Wilshire Boulevard Temple in Los Angeles, he is the author of five books, including The Beauty of What Remains and his newest book, For You When I Am Gone. Whether you're seeking guidance on how to discuss life and death with your children or trying to come to terms with your own mortality, my hope is you walk away from this episode feeling a deeper understanding of how the very presence of death can make for more beauty in life.

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... 4:00 - Using screens when YOU need a break is absolutely okay and you shouldn't feel any shame or guilt around doing this! 5:05 - The difference between television and a tablet in regard to your child's development. 8:40 - How to separate your own anxiety and fear mongering around screen time so you can be educated and intentional about your child's use of technology. 9:30 - The cost/benefit of giving your child a tablet versus you keeping them off of a screen and then feeling so burnt out that you lose your cool and yell at your child. 13:03 - Ask yourself, "are screens decreasing your stress or adding more to it?" 16:38 - What the research reveals about how screens impact executive function development and the development of attention span. 18:55 - The difference between independent screen time versus interacting with screens together with your child. Additional podcast episodes for how you can build your child's ability to engage in independent play: Fostering independent play and a love of learning with Lizzie Assa The Wonders of play with Jennie Monness How play could be the key to mental health and well-being with Mike Rucker ✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

Delve into the transformative power of storytelling across the spectrum of parenthood, identity, and navigating life's challenges. Joining me is award-winning journalist, speaker, and the author of Stop Waiting for Perfect: Step Out of Your Comfort Zone and Into Your Power, L'Oreal Thompson Payton. L'Oreal sheds light on the often-overlooked struggles faced by black women navigating infertility, and the importance of representation in storytelling. From grappling with postpartum depression and anxiety to challenging societal norms surrounding motherhood, L'Oreal offers valuable insights into embracing imperfection and finding strength in authenticity. INTERESTED IN LEARNING MORE ABOUT THE FIRST YEAR OF PARENTHOOD? Click HERE to sign up for my FREE workshop, Confident Parenting from the Start, to get tools and strategies that you can put into practice right away to challenge self-doubt, put an end to your panic-Googling, and finally find the ease and enjoyment in early parenthood! WANT TO TAKE YOUR LEARNING EVEN FURTHER? Join me in The Authentic Parent, my comprehensive self-paced course that takes my workshop to the next level and teaches you everything you need to know (that no one tells you ahead of time) for how to confidently move through your first year of parenthood.

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... 5:34 - Where do you even begin? How to start this difficult conversation with your child. 6:15 - The 3 pillars to keep in mind that will help you to guide your child through this conversation and process their emotions. 10:18 - The importance of honesty and knowing what information to share with your child in a developmentally appropriate manner. 15:33 - It is helpful to remind yourself that the goal of this conversation is about helping your child make sense of everything and feel less alone, not reassure them that everything is "great." 19:30 - Try not to put so much pressure on this one conversation. Try to view this as a jumping off point that can be revisited whenever necessary. If you would like support processing your cancer diagnosis and helping your child work through their feelings about this, you can always reach out to Upshur Bren Psychology Group to learn about our virtual coaching and therapeutic services. ✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

No one prepares you for hearing that your child is sick. Navigating a child's harrowing medical diagnosis is often one of the hardest things a parent can go through. Today, we talk with a mother who has walked this path, and how she found a way to redefine her narrative in order to diminish her pain and suffering in one of her life's most challenging moments. Joining me today is board-certified radiologist and Certified Life Coach Dr. Maggie Kang. Dr. Kang was faced with the unthinkable when her 9-year old healthy daughter was suddenly diagnosed with a rare disease, and life as she knew it took an unexpected turn. Through the pain and uncertainty, she navigated the challenging terrain of her daughter's illness, transforming the traumatic experience into a catalyst for personal growth and healing. Don't miss this touching and insightful interview to hear Dr. Kang open up about where she was able to find her strength and resilience, her realization of the impact her own mental health had on her daughter, and the transformative shift when she choose to focus on the positives. LISTEN TO DR. KANG'S TEDX TALK: The Truth About Pain and Suffering Will Change Your Life GET DR. KANG'S DAUGHTER'S BOOK: My Hospital Stay by Nell Choi ADDITIONAL PARENTING RESOURCES: Click HERE to download my free guide that will help you to understand the building blocks of resilience - with actual phrases you can swap out to help your child to tolerate distress, develop a growth mindset, increase self esteem, and be more resilient!

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... 1:25 - Some of the most common traits and characteristics of a people pleaser. 5:00 - How the role of gender plays a part in people pleasing. 7:44 - Subtle language shifts parents can make to promote your child's ability to tune into themselves and their needs. 10:28 - Helping bridge and stretch your child's understanding of themselves and their needs without discounting their feelings. 14:20 - To help your child not become a people pleaser, it's helpful to teach them to tune into their internal compass so they know exactly what and how to please themselves. 16:25 - The more secure our attachment systems, the less likely we are to be chronically avoiding our own needs in the service of others. 21:34 - As millennial women, many of us have been conditioned to be people pleasers, so doing work on ourselves and modeling this to our children can have a major impact. ✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

An exploration of healing trauma through presence, connection, and self-awareness. Joining me to take us on this journey of discovery is licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Jacob Ham. Dr. Ham will offer listeners a deeper understanding of trauma's impact on a person's neurobiology and their interpretation of the world around them, while emphasizing the importance of our relationships as a means of healing. All parents will benefit from the wisdom he shares on reflective functioning and how we can use this to break cycles of intergenerational trauma and insecure attachment patterns with our own children. By the end of this conversation, my hope is that you won't just have new information, but will feel a renewed appreciation for the power of presence and feel enlightened, inspired, and perhaps a bit changed! JOIN DR. JACOB HAM'S NEWSLETTER: https://drjacobham.com/ WANT ADDITIONAL PARENTING SUPPORT: Click HERE to download my free guide that will teach you the 4 pillars of secure attachment that will allow you to focus on parenting with attunement and trust.

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... 3:27 - How to use radical acceptance rather than trying to make everything "fair" or "equal" between siblings. 6:28 - Forging an individual relationship with each of your children and offering them one-on-one time separate from their siblings can be helpful. 9:43 - We tend to focus on the difficult moments (like when our kids are fighting) and often forget to log the good moments (like when they are getting along or even just peacefully coexisting). 13:05 - We can set conditions to maximize the likelihood that siblings will get along, but at the end of the day we can't ensure our kids will always have a strong relationship. 21:20 - Narrating what is happening versus focusing on your child's behaviors and telling them "they're being mean" or to "stop fighting" can be an easy, yet impactful shift. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES ABOUT SIBLING FIGHTING: - Navigating Sibling Fights - How Can We Implement Consequences That Teach, Not Just Punish Our Kids - Fostering Deep and Meaningful Relationships ✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

Trigger Warning: This episode involves topics related to postpartum psychosis, suicide, and infanticide. In this eye-opening conversation, one mother is sharing her raw and unfiltered story of navigating a postpartum psychosis diagnosis, shedding light on this often misunderstood and stigmatized perinatal mood and anxiety disorder. After the birth of her second son, Chelsea battled with intense challenges with postpartum depression, which eventually snowballed into postpartum psychosis. As we delve into Chelsea's story, we aim to foster a space of empathy, understanding, and support. I hope her openness invites you to connect with the human side of maternal mental health struggles, acknowledging that each tale contributes to the larger call to action for early intervention and better support for women in healthcare. RESOURCES FOR PERINATAL MOOD AND ANXIETY DISORDERS (PMADs) SUPPORT: Postpartum Support International The Motherhood Center in New York If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, call or text the Suicide Crisis Helpline at 988 in the US and Canada. SECURELY ATTACHED PODCAST EPISODES ABOUT PMADs: A breakdown of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders How PMADs can affect new fathers Shining a light on postpartum psychosis with Paige Bellenbaum Addressing the crushing weight of parenthood with Dr. Christine Sterling ADVOCATING FOR CHANGES TO MATERNAL MENTAL HEALTHCARE: Chamber of Mothers Canadian Perinatal Mental Health Collaborative (CPMHC) Maternal Mental Health Leadership Alliance (MMHLA)

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... 2:10 - Playing with gender norms is developmentally typical for preschoolers and is how they learn to make meaning of things. 3:12 - For most parents, this is less a worry of our child's playful experimentation and more about how the world will respond to them. 8:50 - You can have family rules and still be supportive of your child's experimentation and play - they are not mutually exclusive. 10:08 - We can be quick to jump to questioning what these actions mean for our child's identity development, but often at this age they are just playing. 10:45 - It's helpful to be mindful of the different societal expectations of boys versus girls with gender norms. 15:04 - Playing out the fantasy your child has in the moment can sometimes satisfy their desire. ✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

Discover how to navigate bias and guide your children toward a future of genuine cultural understanding and allyship! Join me for a vulnerable and honest conversation on how we can navigate bias, and nurture cultural and racial awareness and inclusivity in ourselves and our children with pediatric and clinical psychologist, Dr. Dana E. Crawford. Dr. Crawford is the developer of the Crawford Bias Reduction Theory & Training (CBRT), a systematic approach to reducing bias, prejudice, and racism, and she has recently opened pre-ordering for her newly released R.A.C.E. Cards aimed at helping foster open communication around issues of race. In this episode, Dr. Crawford guides us on a journey of self-reflection, teaching about strategic vulnerability and the essential steps to reduce bias in our lives and in the way we raise our children. This episode promises to be a transformative experience, offering valuable insights that will stay with you long after the conversation ends.

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... 2:20 - At 3 years old, kids often start to have more desires for autonomy. 4:13 - The more we can be a predictable container and create consistent routines and boundaries for our kids, the less they will feel a need to test limits. 7:30 - Theory of Mind is the ability to understand that there are perspectives different from one's own. This only starts coming online at around 5 years old. 10:42 - Understanding your 3-year-old's brain development helps you to take their behaviors less personally. 11:55 - Building distress tolerance and impulsivity control will ultimately translate into executive functioning skills over time. 16:24 - How to stretch your child to help them to get from A to Z. 19:20 - There is a whole different skill set for doing something when you don't feel like doing it versus just the skill required to perform the specific task in and of itself (like getting dressed in the morning versus getting dressed in the morning WHEN YOU'D RATHER BE PLAYING). ✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

Discover how being self-aware and intentional in your actions can shape your children's emotional resilience! Joining me today is licensed clinical social worker and the author of 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don't Do, Amy Morin. In this episode, Amy and I are shedding light on how parents, couples, and friends can harness this empowering mindset. From fostering curiosity and confidence to navigating complex emotions like guilt and values like honesty and kindness, we're providing you with practical tools for strengthening your own mental wellness and raising mentally resilient kids, too.

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... 3:28 - This age is when "stranger danger" and object permanence comes online with typical cognitive development. 6:47 - Crying to alert you that they don't prefer being held by another safe adult that is not Mom doesn't always mean they are in distress. 9:41 - Building resilience means reflecting our child's feelings back to them and staying calm in the face of that upset - your feelings are real, and they're safe. 12:05 - Self-regulating and titrating your responsiveness are two key elements of intervening in this exchange. 17:42 - When is this a matter of being held (by a safe adult), and when is this a matter of respecting their bodily autonomy and teaching consent when your child is a baby? In this episode, I talked about The Authentic Parent. CLICK HERE if you want to learn more about my self-paced course that teaches you how to confidently move through your first year of parenthood. ✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

Unlock the transformative power of understanding and connecting with your child's ADHD brain - rather than fighting against it! Joining me is the founder of Russell Coaching for Students and the author of Asking the Right Questions Before, During, and After Your Child's ADHD Diagnosis, Dr. Norrine Russell. If you have a child with ADHD, you won't want to miss this episode where we're sharing personal insights, evidence-based techniques, and empowering strategies to guide parents on a journey towards fostering empathy, embracing your child's strengths, and helping them reach their full potential. PRODUCTS FOR ADDITIONAL SUPPORT THAT I LOVE: If your child (or you!) has ADHD, you're going to love all the products from BestSelf as much as I do! CLICK HERE and use code DRSARAHBREN15 to save 15% off your entire purchase!

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... 1:52 - When is it appropriate to seek help from a mental health professional to help your child manage their anxiety and fears? 4:40 - How to identify the difference between our child's natural desire for information versus a desire for us to soothe their anxiety. 8:45 - Addressing concepts like death with your child is difficult because it is a scary thing for adults to confront too, which can lead to parents to do more accommodating than is actually helpful long-term. 13:05 - Asking yourself "why now?" - Working to identify if there is anything that activated this sudden shift so you can work toward targeting the root of the problem. 14:48 - Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE) is a great resource for parents: LISTEN: Listen to my interview with the creator of SPACE, Dr. Eli Lebowitz READ: Breaking Free of Childhood Anxiety and OCD by Dr. Eli Lebowitz THERAPY SERVICES: If you are in NY State and would like to learn about Upshur Bren Psychology Group's SPACE individual and group therapy options, click here to learn more. 18:38 - What to Do When You Worry Too Much and What to Do When Your Brain Gets Stuck are workbooks we use in our practice and are helpful resources to use with your child. ✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

Did you know that a staggering 67% of couples experience a dip in relationship satisfaction after the birth of a child? Joining me is clinical psychologist, couples therapist, and sought-after relationship expert, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish. Dr. Tracy is the founder of Be Connected Digital, the author of I Didn't Sign Up for This, and the host of the I'm Not Your Shrink podcast. Today, we discuss how to signal for support and communicate our needs (even when sleep-deprived) to our partner, the impact our new identity as parents has on our relationships, and how to navigate the mental load of parenthood. Our hope is to normalize the struggles many parents face in this season, offering a reassuring message: you are not alone and there are things you can do to strengthen your partnership and deepen your connection. EPISODE SHOW NOTES: Click Here DR. TRACY'S FREE GUIDE: 10 Scripts for Defensiveness WANT ADDITIONAL PARENTING SUPPORT: Click HERE to check out my 2.5 hour on-demand parenting course, The Science of Tantrums, that teaches you the exact tools you need for responding in the moment and reducing your toddler's tantrums over time.

>>> Enrollment is now open for Parenting by Design, my simple, evidenced-based coaching program for parenting your sensitive child in a way that increases cooperation, discharges power struggles, and rebuilds their trust in your authority–all while supporting your child's mental health and your own. Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... 3:50 - At 3-years-old you need to physically be a container for your child, so you might need to be more intentional about what environments are conducive for that during this stage. 7:28 - Try to incorporate moments where you notice the good and use positive reinforcement to supplement the discipline you need to do. 9:38 - When we discipline a child, they may feel ashamed, guilty, or embarrassed, which can cause them to become more dysregulated (but that doesn't necessarily mean we are doing something wrong). 13:48 - "A kid needs a target if we want them to hit that target." 17:20 - It's okay to give your child an out to allow them to save face when they are doing something "wrong." ✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

>>> HEAD HERE TO GRAB THE FREEBIE FOR THIS EPISODE: Your Step-By-Step Guide for How to Change Your Child's Behavior in Just 3 Weeks! Back by popular demand! For parents who want to learn my simple framework for how to change your child's behavior in just 3 weeks! In this episode, I am breaking down the 10 simple steps I teach to the families in my clinical practice to help them make small shifts to their own behavior that will result in some big changes in their child. Plus, download my interactive workbook for an easy-to-follow, customized game plan you can use to start seeing meaningful change leading to more cooperation and family harmony! And for a limited-time only, join me in Parenting by Design, my coaching program for parents of sensitive kids that teaches you how to increase cooperation, discharge power struggles, and rebuild your child's trust in your authority–all while supporting their mental health and your own.

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... 4:33 - Breaking down what "don't overthink the lava" means and how to use that in your parenting. 9:05 - The content of the lava is not the problem we need to solve and spending time and energy on this can reduce our bandwidth. 10:48 - When you have a sensitive child who demands a lot of support, you need to get a tighter grip on your energetic resources. 13:46 - How to optimize your energetic resources and find effective support options to prevent burnout. 16:35 - If you want a framework for managing your child's challenging behaviors, check out my coaching program, Parenting by Design, that empowers moms, dads, and caregivers of sensitive children. ✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

Discover how the principles of ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) can revolutionize the way you manage the complexities of everyday life. Joining me to help busy parents learn science-backed strategies to ditch guilt, manage overwhelm, and grow meaningful connections is Dr. Yael Schonbrun. In this episode, Dr. Schonbrun shares actionable insights and strategies to help you thrive in your many roles. Whether you're a parent seeking to raise well-adjusted and healthy kids, a partner yearning for a solid and loving relationship, or a working parent striving for balance in your career, this discussion is tailored just for you. Hit play to learn how to enhance your parenting, partnership, and career journey!

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... 5:10 - Approaching the situation without shame and trying to do our best not to go to the meeting at the school from a defensive frame of mind. 7:55 - Zooming out from the behavior itself to try to understand what types of emotions are leading to these outbursts will allow us to be more effective in "treating" it. 9:50 - Creating a relationship between you and your child's teacher to establish open lines of communication from the beginning of the year can be helpful. 18:02 - If your child is having a lot of meltdowns in school, they are likely hitting an overload point. 20:06 - Identifying if there have been any big changes in a child's life can help you track down the root issue that could be causing their behavioral issues. 20:28 - Ross Greene's Unmet Needs and Lagging Skills framework can be useful for parents in these situations. 24:25 - Communicating to the child that they are having a hard time and we are there to help them to change the behavior, rather than focusing on the behavior itself. ✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

Would you say you're a 👁️ visual or an 👂🏼 auditory learner? What if I told you that the research has actually debunked the theory that learning styles even exist? So, then what actually is the best way for helping our kids to learn, feel successful, and become resilient? That is exactly what I'll be talking about with University of Virginia Professor of Psychology and the author of several amazing books, including the best-selling Why Don't Students Like School?, and most recently, Outsmart Your Brain, Dr. Dan Willingham. In this episode we're shedding light on the factors that influence a child's sense of self-efficacy, the importance of a growth mindset, and the delicate balance between praising effort and problem-solving for success. Whether you're a parent, teacher, or clinician, this is an episode you won't want to miss!

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... 2:22 - Understanding the distinction between bribery and rewards, so you can be most effective in motivating your child. 5:05 - How to use rewards to help our children learn a new habit. 6:50 - A bribe is a tool in a parents toolbox, it's about knowing when to use that tool so you are doing it intentionally and not just falling back on it. 8:07 - A reward is to build momentum, not to sustain a behaviors for a long period of time. 9:10 - When using a reward system, we want to try to help our child notice the internal pleasure they derive from an experience, separate from the external reward. 11:30 - What the research reveals about the difference between using rewards for mundane tasks and chores (like brushing teeth) versus activities that are intrinsically rewarding (like reading, drawing, or practicing an instrument). 18:10 - Being intentional about the choices you make and working to use your parenting tools from a place of confidence rather than anxiety. 21:48 - What are other tools you can use to increase cooperation instead of bribery or rewards? ✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

Uncover proven techniques to manage anxiety, guilt, and overwhelming emotions, empowering you to parent with confidence. 👩‍👧 Joining me this week is Dr. Ilyse Dobrow DiMarco. Ilyse is the Founder/Director of the North Jersey Center for Anxiety and Stress Management and the author of Mom Brain: Proven Strategies to Fight the Anxiety, Guilt, and Overwhelming Emotions of Motherhood—and Relax into Your New Self. This episode is a must-listen for all new and seasoned moms, with actionable insights, real-world advice, and a fresh perspective on being the parent you want to be. We're offering you guidance on finding joy, letting go of perfectionism, and making decisions aligned with your values!

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... If your child (or you!) has ADHD, you're going to love all the products from BestSelf as much as I do! CLICK HERE and use code DRSARAHBREN15 to save 15% off your entire purchase! 3:50 - How parents of a child newly diagnosed with ADHD can utilize specific strategies to support them. 6:02 - Understand ADHD and what a child with ADHD might struggle with (and what they might excel in as a result of their neurodiverse brain.) 7:20 - Trustworthy resources for parents of a child with ADHD: ADDitude Magazine 12 Principles for Raising a Child with ADHD by Russell A. Barkley, PhD What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew by Dr. Sharon Saline Smart but Scattered by Peg Dawson, EdD & Richard Guare, PhD 10:36 - ADHD is more of an executive functioning and emotional regulation disorder and symptoms can present vastly different from one child to the next. 15:38 - Looking at ADHD from a strength-based perspective. ✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

Embark on a journey of self-exploration that will empower you to rewrite your attachment narrative! Joining me to share her expertise on attachment patterns in adult relationships is psychotherapist and the author of the new book Your Pocket Therapist, Dr. Annie Zimmerman. Together Dr. Zimmerman and I have an engaging conversation that dives deep into the nuances of matrescence and patrescence, how to begin unpacking your triggers, and the transformative 5-step process she outlines in her book, providing parents with a roadmap for increased attachment security and positive change.

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... 2:02 - Distinguishing between the different interventions for how to respond to biting with a young child versus an older toddler. 5:55 - Babies don't often bite out of angry, but for many other reasons including exploratory and sensory seeking behaviors. 7:53 - When a baby bites another kid and the child has a big reaction, our baby may bite more because they are exploring the response this may illicit. 9:20 - The less attention we give this behavior the more likely we can see a reduction to the biting. 12:04 - If your child is prone to biting other kids, you may have to be their "buddy guard" for a while to try to catch it in the moment before they lose interest in biting. ✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

Effective strategies for guiding your child through the digital landscape and preparing them for a tech-savvy future! Join us in this episode as Dr. Devorah Heitner unravels the mysteries of parenting in the age of social media, online gaming, and rapid technological changes. Gain practical insights into setting boundaries, modeling positive behavior, and empowering your kids to navigate the complexities of the digital universe with confidence. Dr. Devorah Heitner has a Ph.D. in Media/Technology & Society and is the author of the books Growing Up in Public: Coming of Age in a Digital World and Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World. From modeling positive tech behavior to understanding your child's readiness for social media, teaching consent, and fostering offline connections, we're covering it all! So don't miss this episode for some keys to creating a harmonious digital family life.

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... 2:05 - Parents are often worried this transition will be traumatic, but most children will be able to get through it in a healthy way, even if they have big feelings about it. 3:44 - Be mindful that how we feel about this transition is often predictive of how smoothly it will go and can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. 6:04 - There is a period of time where we might see some messiness and regressions, and that still isn't a sign that things are going "wrong." 7:24 - When we panic at our child's big feelings it can become a cycle that can prolong the distress, so we want to try to be mindful not to add fuel to their fire. 8:56 - 8 minutes full of concrete strategies parents can use to prepare for and help their child for a smoother transition to new childcare. ✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

How can parents use the principles of Integrative Attachment Family Therapy (IAFT) to strengthen their connection with their child? That is what I'll be exploring with the co-author of the new book, Integrative Attachment Family Therapy: A Clinical Guide to Heal and Strengthen the Parent-Child Relationship through Play, Co-regulation, and Meaning-Making, Dafna Lender, LCSW. This episode offers a unique perspective on parenting, emphasizing the importance of play, co-regulation, and meaningful interactions in cultivating a resilient and thriving parent-child relationship. I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show! ✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren ✨ Send an email to [email protected] ✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... 1:40 - Unpacking whether our child is anxious about this experience, or if we might be projecting our own feelings onto the request for them to perform. 5:33 - What interventions can you use in the moment when someone asks your child to do something you're not sure they want to do. 9:26 - How to avoid fragilizing our kids in this world of gentle parenting. 12:17 - How can we respond when an adult asks our child to perform a social expectation, like giving a hug or answering their questions - whether they're 3 or 10. 15:40 - Deciphering how much we should protect our child from things that make them feel uncomfortable and how much are we should work to stretch them. 20:28 - At what age or developmental stage does it become about manners versus allowing them to listen to their internal drives? ✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨