Securely Attached

When we hear our children say things like, "I don't want to play with her" or "that's my toy" it's easy for us to feel flooded and want to shut down the situations with comments like, "that's not very nice" or "you need to share." But peer rejection is a normal and healthy part of development. While it may take some work for us to calm our own fight or flight response so we can be open to this, it can be helpful to try to lean in and open up a dialogue with our children in these instances so that we may build their compassion, empathy and social awareness. Joining me today is the co-founder of our practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, Dr. Emily Upshur. We'll dive deep into many of the ways we can do this with our young children, offering you tools and thought provoking prompts—whether your child is the aggressor or the recipient—to help you and your child navigate peer rejection. I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show! ✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren ✨ Send an email to [email protected] ✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources

Human evolution is incredible. We come out of the womb knowing that our greatest chance of survival is to attach to a primary caretaker who will keep us safe. And that innate wisdom is what motivates children to seek closeness and connection to their secure base. When children suffer from an anxiety disorder the threat detector in their brain is on overdrive and more and more they rely on their parents to protect and soothe them. And while parents have the best intentions, this interpersonal dance can actually serve to increase the severity and frequency of anxiety in children. Dr. Eli Lebowitz of the Yale Child Study Center has pioneered a new treatment that interrupts that dance! By altering the way parents respond to their child when they are in distress, rather than fueling the flames of anxiety, parents are able to lessen the symptoms, all without asking their child to change his or her behavior in any way. SPACE has been a game changer in my private practice and I was delighted when Dr. Lebowitz agreed to come on the podcast to discuss the incredible work he is doing and the amazing results they are seeing. If you are interested in learning more about the work that Upshur Bren Psychology Group is doing to treat child anxiety and OCD with SPACE, go to upshurbren.com/space.

When we teach our young children to slow down, to notice their emotions, then equip them with tools for navigating their tricky feelings like disappointment, impatience, boredom, sadness, or anger, we lay the foundation for a kinder and more empathetic society. It was an honor to speak to Dr. Dan Siegel, a pioneer in the field of psychology and the study of mindfulness. It all starts with us! We'll talk about mindset shifts parents can make to foster self-compassion and ways we can aid in developing our children's social and emotional learning. We'll also talk about Dr. Siegel's new books, how we can reshape our brain through mindfulness, and the role this plays in helping us develop a connection to ourselves, our peers and the entire interconnected world we're all a part of. I walked away from our conversation feeling optimistic, empowered and ready to take on the challenges that await us all in life, and I think you will too! I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show! ✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren ✨ Send an email to [email protected] ✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources

It can be difficult and scary to talk about death as adults, so having to do so with our kids can cause us to freeze up and shut down. But by being open and honest about death, an inevitable part of life, we lay the groundwork our children need to develop the tools to process loss and work through feelings of grief and pain. Here to help us unpack our own anxiety, so we may break cycles of avoidance and fear, is death doula Heather Hogan. If you've never heard of a death doula, don't worry, we'll kick off our conversation talking about what exactly that is. Then we'll get into the importance of introducing the concept of death to our children early in life, strategies to avoid projecting your own feelings and fears onto them, developmentally appropriate resources and books you can use to introduce these concepts, and more. I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show! ✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren ✨ Send an email to [email protected] ✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources

There can be many reasons why children may experience prolonged separations from a parent. From planned separations like for military families or when one parent must take a job far away, to unplanned situations in the case of mental illness, substance abuse or abandonment. I've received several listener questions asking for guidance on how to best help their child process and work through their parental abandonment issues, so here to offer insight on this subject is Dr. Emily Upshur. What we know from attachment science and psychological research allows us, as a consistent presence in our child's life, to use strategies and establish action plans that best support children who are struggling with an unstable parent in ways that can foster resilience, empathy and lifelong emotional wellbeing, in spite of this challenge. I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show! ✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren ✨ Send an email to [email protected] ✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources

When we become parents for the second or third time, one of the most common experiences (that people often don't talk about) is the grief parents feel for their big kiddo and the changes that are about to rock their world. That is just one of the many emotions, challenges and joys that come with expanding our families. Here to talk about what it was like for her to transition from one child to two, is model, mom and co-founder of Wander Beauty, Lindsay Ellingson. From growing her family, navigating sibling dynamics, finding a work-life balance, learning strategies for the inevitable toddler tantrums and making time for self-care, this conversation is a relatable look at motherhood today. Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/ ✨ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://drsarahbren.com/join-newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources

During the pandemic, "burnout" became a trendy buzzword getting thrown around social media, blogs, and moms groups. But what is the actual medical definition of burnout and how can learning about what it is help us to move out of the never ending state of exhaustion many parents are faced with today? Joining me to clear the confusion and offer strategies for finding balance is Board Certified Physician Assistant and the founder of Run Tell Mom, Shelley Kemmerer. The cure to burnout is not about quick fixes or a day at the spa; we'll talk about the personal and systemic changes that need to be implemented and prioritized in order to support an entire generation of parents faced with unreasonably high expectations and battling constant parenting guilt. Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/ ✨ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://drsarahbren.com/join-newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources

The stereotypes surrounding fatherhood often revolve around a disengaged father figure described as "baby-sitting" their own child, lacking deep emotions, and blindly following their wife's advice. But that is far from the reality for most modern-day fathers. Here to give us that often elusive real dad perspective is father of two and therapist, Eli Weinstein. Eli will give us a peek into the mind of a dad, discuss the importance of men finding their own community of support, and share the strategies he and his wife have implemented to help them create a true partnership in parenthood. Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/ ✨ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://drsarahbren.com/join-newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources

In preschool, learning is far less about the ABC's and 1,2,3's and far more about developing an awareness of yourself and the world around you. Knowing how to best support your child and help them feel more comfortable transitioning to a school environment can be instrumental in setting them up for success. Joining me this week to help parents learn how to guide their children through this transition is the co-director of the Downtown Little School, Meredith Gary. From strategies for dealing with separation anxiety, to helpful tips to get your child out the door in the morning, to ways to foster your child's connection to their teacher, this episode will help you feel prepared for the start of preschool! Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/ ✨ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://drsarahbren.com/join-newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources

Science has shown that the best way to help our kids become independent, confident, kind, empathetic, and happy is by talking with them. But while we may know that what we say to our children matters, we may not know exactly how to get started or what to do to encourage honest, open and thoughtful communication. Here to help parents learn the secrets of effective communication is speech pathologist, Rebecca Rolland. This episode will help you to understand just how powerful language can be and teach you to actionable techniques for fostering authentic and natural conversations with your children, no matter their age, that can lead to the development of a strong and secure attachment bond. Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/ ✨ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://drsarahbren.com/join-newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources

Whether potty training isn't going as planned, or you're just nervous about gearing up to undertake your child's' transition out of diapers, that added pressure, frustration and anxiety can create a vicious cycle, making potty learning more difficult— for you and your child. Here to offer a podcast style "potty class" for parents so they can identify potential problem areas (physically and emotionally), and avoid potty training pitfalls, is the owner of Aloha Integrative Therapy, Occupational Therapist Quiara Smith. Quiara shares incredible insights about when it's time (or more importantly when it's too early) to start potty training, the importance of coregulation, and she breaks down the basics of our child's anatomy and physiology so we can effectively support them through everything from bedwetting to constipation or whatever toileting or pelvic health challenges may lay ahead. Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/ ✨ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://drsarahbren.com/join-newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources

Moms are overwhelmed, exhausted and burnt out. There is a major lacking in systems to support new, working and stay-at-home moms… so basically, that's every mother. It is important for us to fight for change, but the weight of that constant battle and stream of seemingly never-ending bad news can feel too heavy to carry at times. Joining me to discuss the advocacy work The Chamber of Mothers is doing, ways you can get involved, and how to find joy in an often turbulent world is the founder of Working Momtras, Raena Boston. If you've been feeling helpless or hopeless in light of recent events, I hope this episode makes you feel empowered and renewed in its collective call to action and message of togetherness. Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/ ✨ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://drsarahbren.com/join-newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources

Being intentional about the way we parent our young children now can help lay critical groundwork that will allow them to flourish in adulthood. Lessons like independence, self-confidence, and resilience can all be fostered through helping to build emotional intelligence in our kids. Joining me to discuss how you can help prepare your own children to tackle life in the real world is mother of 4 and Family Life & Leadership Coach, Nellie Harden. We'll talk about why and how you can use your parent-child relationship as an incredibly effective motivator for kids, how to help children understand the difference between fair and equal by breaking it down into terms they can understand, how trusting in your children teaches them to trust in themselves, and many other valuable lessons every parent will want to learn! Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/ ✨ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://drsarahbren.com/join-newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources

Parenting in an age of ever changing technology—battling over screen time use, deciding when to allow your child to have a smart phone, and understanding how much screen time is too much—can be confusing for parents of children of all ages. Joining me today to help parents learn to cut through the confusion and successfully navigate parenting in the digital age is The Screentime Consultant, Emily Cherkin. If you want to understand why screens are so addictive, how to help our children establish healthy relationships with technology, and techniques for transitioning them off of their devices without a meltdown (most of the time) then this is an episode you won't want to miss! Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/ ✨ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://drsarahbren.com/join-newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources

A few weeks ago I recorded an amazing episode on sex and intimacy after baby with The WTF Trimester creator, Chelsea Skaggs. And it seemed to hit a nerve, because I received tons of feedback from that episode! For some of you, learning how to communicate your needs to your partner in a way they would be able to hear you was just what you needed. But I also got some DMs from moms who are facing a different problem when it comes to sex in early parenthood… Whether after the birth of a child, or a few years down the road, parents can sometimes feel themselves pulled in so many directions that at the end of the day, they find it difficult to have anything left to give. This can be especially true for postpartum mamas. So this week's episode is filled with actionable strategies and mindset shifts that you can make if you are feeling touched out, overstimulated or anxious about intimacy. These can help you to feel connected to yourself so you are open to having a vulnerable and deep connection with your partner. This is an episode you won't want to miss! Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/ ✨ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://drsarahbren.com/join-newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources

There is no shortage of doctor visits and wellness checks during your child's first few years. And that can cause some apprehension and anxiety for both parents and children. I am so excited to welcome my family's own pediatrician, Dr. Rachel Geronemus, onto the podcast to fill us all in on what pediatricians want parents to know! This conversation is chalk full of helpful tips, like what you can expect at your child's next doctor's appointment, developmentally appropriate expectations to set, and strategies you can implement weeks and days ahead of their next visit to make for a more calm and enjoyable experience for you both. Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/ ✨ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://drsarahbren.com/join-newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources

For many couples, the birth of a child can bring with it a shift in their intimate relationship. Having a child triggers such a sudden and massive transition to our identity, our body and sometimes even our sex drive, so it makes perfect sense that new parents can often find themselves on different pages when it comes to intimacy and sex. And that is just one of the reasons I am so excited to talk about ways couples can rebuild connection and intimacy in their relationship with life coach and the creator of the WTF Trimester, Chelsea Skaggs. It's not about where you've been, but about acknowledging where you are now and where you'd like to go. Chelsea will share some powerful suggestions and step-by-step guidance for working to get back your spark, combating some of the most common sources of postpartum sex anxiety, and working on your inner growth to help you feel more confident and assured in your own skin. Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/ ✨ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://drsarahbren.com/join-newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources

Executive functioning skills are the systems, structures and routines we establish in our daily life that make us successful. Do you always put the mail on the end table when you walk in the door? That's a perfect example of this. These skills are housed within the prefrontal cortex and that part of the brain isn't fully developed until we are in our 20s! So all children, whether they are neurotypical or struggle with an executive functioning skills deficit like ADHD, can benefit from exercising this "muscle." This week I am talking with the cofounder of our group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, Dr. Emily Upshur along with our executive functioning coach, Donna Jarecki, to offer parents easy and fun suggestions they can use all summer long that will build upon this skillset. We'll also discuss the brain science of executive functioning and how what might seem like behavioral issues may actually be a sign of an executive function deficit, plus when it's time to consider bringing in additional support. Want to explore if executive functioning coaching may be a good fit for you or your child? Check out upshurbren.com to learn more. Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/ ✨ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://drsarahbren.com/join-newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources

Raising children today in a world saturated with guns, active shooter drills at school and mass shootings on the news can leave parents feeling overwhelmed and unsure. I wanted to talk directly to you about the psychology and developmental aspect of aggression and the impact of both toy and real guns on our children and society at large. This isn't about me telling you what is right or wrong, good or bad, what you should or shouldn't do with your own child, but simply about arming you with some fundamental information so you can make informed and conscious decisions for yourself. Many of my patients in the past few weeks have been expressing feelings of helplessness and hopelessness in the wake of the horrific incident in Uvalde, Texas. If you or your child are struggling with these feelings too, stay tuned to the end of the episode when I'll suggest some actionable strategies you can use to work toward shifting those feelings to ones of empowerment. Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/ ✨ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://drsarahbren.com/join-newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources

As our children grow into the people they will be, so too do we grow into the parents we become. Alexis Barad-Cutler, the founder of Not Safe For Mom Group, found herself in that very situation when her youngest child, Gavi, expressed the need to be the "real Gavi" at 3-years-old. In this episode Alexis shares her raw and powerful story of leaning in and learning how to support her gender nonconforming child in a way that makes them feel seen, accepted and loved. Whether you are finding yourself questioning how best to support your child through any type of adversity or you're just curious to learn more about the topic of gender identity and how it can present in children, this is an episode centered on the universally relatable truth of one parent's love. Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/ ✨ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://drsarahbren.com/join-newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources

If you're listening to this podcast, you're probably already at least somewhat versed in the styles of positive, gentle, respectful or responsive parenting. But whatever you call it, there are many societal misconceptions about what these styles are. Here to help me bust some myths and dig into the research and brain science behind why we're shifting past behaviorism is Sarah R. Moore. From intergenerational transmission of parenting styles, redefining our goals, and the importance of strengthening mental and emotional health in our children, you won't want to miss this deep dive into WHY these new parenting styles are effective. And go ahead and share this episode with anyone in your life who isn't quite on board with positive parenting or feels it's too permissive. This is a safe space free of shame and judgment - we're all just doing the best we can! Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/ ✨ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://drsarahbren.com/join-newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources

Establishing and holding boundaries can be challenging, especially when those limits need to be set within family units. Dr. Emily Upshur, my partner from our group practice Upshur Bren Psychology Group in Westchester, NY is back to help one mom who writes in looking for help establishing boundaries with her in-laws. We'll talk about strategies for engaging grandparents while also maintaining appropriate boundaries, the difference between internal and external boundaries and how you can integrate both into your life, and concrete steps for addressing excessive gift giving, unaligned parenting values, opposing political views and more. Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/ ✨ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://drsarahbren.com/join-newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources

Finding a therapist who you trust and who can offer you proper support can be a complicated process for many people. One of the reasons for this is the confusing and sometimes even misleading terms used in the field of mental health. Joining me today is research psychologist and medical staff member at the Austen Riggs Center, Dr. Katie C. Lewis. We'll discuss the differences and similarities between cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and psychodynamic therapy, how to determine which treatment modality is right for your unique family, and arm you with the knowledge you need for finding a therapist that will best support your goals and honor your parenting values, whether your seeking treatment for yourself or your child. Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/ ✨ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://drsarahbren.com/join-newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources

May is Mental Health Awareness Month and I want to highlight the importance of finding trusted resources women can turn to for maternal mental health support through pre-pregnancy, pregnancy and postpartum. Joining me today is Dr. Tracy Shevell. We'll discuss her almost 20 years of experience in a hospital setting that led her to believe the system is broken and the how she's working to change this by creating Blue Moon Perinatal. We'll also review her 3-step process to help expecting parents feel informed and confident going into their OB-GYN appointments, whether they are having a typical or high risk pregnancy. Dr. Tracy (00:00): And I realized that most of my doctoring was being done outside of really being a doctor in some ways. It was more helping women just navigate their experience. Dr. Sarah (00:19): May is Mental Health Awareness Month. And last week was Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week. While it's necessary to dedicate a period of time to really highlight this need. It's also so important to carry on these conversations and offer women's support throughout the entire year. And that is exactly what my next guest is doing. Dr. Tracy Shevell is a maternal-fetal medicine specialist with almost 20 years of experience. And she's the founder of Blue Moon Perinatal. No matter who you are, where you live, or where you fall on your maternal health journey. There are some universal takeaways that we can all benefit from and use to find appropriate sources for support, and we're gonna cover them all. Dr. Sarah (00:58): Hi, I'm Dr. Sarah Bren, a clinical psychologist and mom of two. In this podcast, I've taken all of my clinical experience, current research on brain science and child psychology and the insights I've gained on my own parenting journey and distilled everything down into easy to understand and actionable parenting insights. So you can tune out the noise and tune into your own authentic parenting voice with confidence and calm. This is Securely Attached. Dr. Sarah (01:31): Hi, we have a very special guest on today's podcast. I'm so excited to introduce you guys to Dr. Tracy Shevell. She is a maternal-fetal medicine specialist, and she specialized specifically in high risk OB-GYN. And she is the founder of Blue Moon Perinatal, which is an amazing resource for women who are experiencing any type of high risk pregnancy or postpartum. So I'm just so excited to have you on today. Thank you for being here. Dr. Tracy (01:59): Thank you. I'm so happy to be on. I'm really looking forward to, to talking about a lot of things that need to be talked about. So thank you for bringing me in here. Dr. Sarah (02:10): Yeah. This is gonna be, this is gonna be a little heavy of an episode, but I think it's gonna be very, very juicy in a, in a kind of messed up way. And I'll explain, but like, cuz we're gonna talk about a broken system is what we're really gonna talk about today, which is unfortunate. But there are disruptors trying to fix this broken system and I feel like that's kind of what you're doing. Dr. Tracy (02:33): Yeah. I completely agree. I mean, one thing I wanna point out before we talk about the broken system is that the system is not broken and I want women that are listening to this to understand this, the system is not broken because your doctors don't care about you. The system is broken, not because your doctors are disengaged or aren't interested. It's something is beyond that. It's something that's out of most doctors' control and we'll get a little bit into sort of why. But you know, I think that it's, it's a much larger picture, like you said, and it's a system error, not a physician error because your doctors care and they're struggling as well. And so that's, you know, I just wanted to make sure that I said that before we said anything else. Because again, it's really important for moms to know, like their doctors care. And that's not the disconnect, it's, it's a much bigger issue it's bureaucratic and it's systemwide and that's really frustrating and I'm not much of a disruptor. I've been a good girl my whole life, but I've had to become a disruptor because I can't handle systems being broken and failing women. Dr. Sarah (03:47): Yes. So let's talk about like what, what you do and how you got to this. Dr. Tracy (03:52): Sure. so I, you know, as I just sort of alluded to, I sort of followed the very traditional good girl path for a long time. I grew up wanting to be a doctor, went to, you know, medical school fell in love with OB and really had a tremendously satisfying career for a very long time. I trained in the city, I worked in our community hospital and I I was at a local hospital for my entire career for 16 years and I dealt with two things. I dealt primarily with prenatal diagnosis. So I saw a lot of women where we discussed, you know, ultrasound findings. And we got referrals for patients who had abnormal findings. And we would often do, you know, tests, amniocentesis or CVS a

There are many activities parents can incorporate into their child's daily routine to support their sensory processing abilities and help them learn to effectively regulate their emotions. Joining me this week is Laura Petix, also known as The OT Butterfly, to discuss what exactly occupational therapy is, why it can be so beneficial for children, the role our 8 senses (that's right, I said 8) play in our ability to remain calm and in control, and the best way to set our children up for success whether they are neurotypical or neurodivergent. And if you want to equip yourself with the most effective tools to reduce the frequency, duration, and intensity of tantrums, check out my new intensive, The Science of Tantrums: How to help your child get back to a place of calm connection – without yelling, giving in or making it worse. Go to drsarahbren.com/tantrums to sign up and learn more!

Did you know there is a difference between a tantrum and a meltdown? Do you know what that difference is? Dr. Emily Upshur, from Upshur Bren Psychology Group, is back to answer those questions and help arm parents with the tools they need to best support their child through each. We'll discuss what is happening in your child's brain and body when they're dysregulated, why these aren't manipulative behaviors, and address the misconception that parents need to ignore bad behavior as a means of not reinforcing it. And if you want to equip yourself with the most effective tools to reduce the frequency, duration, and intensity of tantrums, check out my course The Science of Tantrums: How to help your child get back to a place of calm connection – without yelling, giving in or making it worse. Go to drsarahbren.com/tantrums to sign up and learn more! Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/ ✨ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://drsarahbren.com/join-newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources

There is a powerful connection between the mind and the body. Joining me this week is clinical psychologist and dance and movement therapist, Dr Lori Baudino. We'll discuss how physicality can be a tool for connection, ways you can shift your perception of your child's physical movement to make it feel less personal when they are aggressive, how movement offers a unique opportunity for expression that may not be able to be communicated in words, and what a typical dance and movement therapy session looks like. Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/ ✨ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://drsarahbren.com/join-newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources

Mindfulness can be an effective tool, allowing us to create new neural pathways in our brain that we can access in the heat of the moment, helping us stay regulated during life's stressful, overwhelming and frustrating times. In this episode, I am joined by the Director of Mindfulness Education at UCLA's Mindful Awareness Research Center, Diana Winston. We'll cover ways that you can incorporate mindfulness into your daily life, dispel some common myths about meditation and mindfulness practices, discuss the impact this can have on anxiety, ADHD and trauma, and close with a short guided meditation led by Diana (you'll want to bookmark this episode so you can revisit this ending over and over)! Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/ ✨ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://drsarahbren.com/join-newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources

It is important we give ourselves permission to not always get it right in parenting. But after we do have a messy moment, it's also important we know how to reconnect to create a sense of trust and intimacy in our parent-child relationship. I've invited Dana Rosenbloom, founder of Dana's Kids, back on the show to continue our conversation about regulation and coregulation and to address what happens after there is a rupture. We'll discuss exactly what rupture and repair is, how this cycle is an important piece of maintaining strong and connected relationships, the impact that generational transmission of trauma can have on our ability to properly apologize or repair, and the necessity of slowing down to give ourselves time to respond rather than simply react. Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/ ✨ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://drsarahbren.com/join-newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources

If you are feeling stressed and burnt out with the constant pressure to always be stimulating, educating and entertaining your child, you're not going to want to miss this episode! Joining me this week is Lizzie Assa. Lizzie is a parenting strategist and play expert, mom of three, and the founder of The Workspace for Children. We'll discuss the strategies she put in place with her own children based off her experience as a classroom teacher that helped her find balance, the benefits of open ended and independent play, how to make children an active participant in the household, and concrete steps you can take today to create a successful play environment and routine with your own kids. Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/ ✨ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://drsarahbren.com/join-newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources

When our children refuse to attend school or show other anxiety related behaviors, it can be difficult for parents to find that balance between properly supporting their needs without over accommodating for their fear. In this episode I am joined by Dr. Erica Miller, a licensed psychologist and director of Successful School Transitions. We'll talk about the effect the pandemic and disruptions to their routine has had on children, what school refusal is and why it can be so triggering for parents, and how we can use techniques like coregulation to stretch our child's tolerance for coping with challenging emotions and experiences. Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/ ✨ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://drsarahbren.com/join-newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources

The dissolution of a family unit when parents separate or divorce is a difficult thing for everyone involved, parents and children alike. But, that doesn't have to mean it will be contentious and detrimental. In this episode I am joined by certified divorce specialist and the author of Moms Moving On, Michelle Dempsey-Multack. We'll be busting some common misconceptions about divorce, discussing the importance of support - for your child and yourself, the destructive nature of shame and guilt and the ways single parents can make their children feel safe and secure during this massive transition. Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/ ✨ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://drsarahbren.com/join-newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources

In our culture, we often look at the surface behaviors our children exhibit and think it is our job as parents to control those. Instead, if we can look at behaviors as clues to how our child is making sense of the world, we're able to get to the root of what is causing the behavior in the first place. Joining me this week is child psychologist and the author of the new book, Brain-Body Parenting, Dr. Mona Delahooke. We'll talk about the ways you can begin to look past your child's behaviors, creating a roadmap for each unique child, Dr. Mona's color-coded framework to help you understand the nervous system, and how that understanding can be our secret weapon in parenting to raise resilient, self-confident and healthy children. Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/ ✨ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://drsarahbren.com/join-newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources

I was having a conversation with my practice co-founder Dr. Emily Upshur, just as two moms, navigating the transition with our own kids of working through unmasking at school and daycare. And it felt so important to get this message out there, as you are likely dealing with this exact same thing with your own children today, that we decided to hit record right on my iPhone. This episode is a little different - it's raw, unfiltered and unedited. There is no one size fits all approach that works best. It's about making decisions for your own unique family and child. My hope is that this episode can help you feel more comfortable having a conversation about unmasking with your own child and understand the importance of prioritizing their physical, mental and emotional health - whatever you choose.

How and what we feed our child can be a polarizing topic for many parents. But we can likely all agree that we want our children to have a healthy, balanced and open relationship to food. Joining me on the podcast is the CEO of Square Baby and registered dietician & nutritionist, Katie Thomson. We'll talk about ways parents can tune out societal pressures and instead tune into our own children's cues, way for establishing balanced and realistic expectations of our kids (and ourselves), and how we can nurture a healthy relationship between our children and food, right from the start. Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/ ✨ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://drsarahbren.com/join-newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources

Joining me today is my partner from our joint practice Upshur Bren Psychology Group, Dr. Emily Upshur. We're diving into Diana Baumrind's 4 parenting styles - Permissive, Authoritative, Authoritarian and Neglectful - in order to help guide one mom who wonders how she can break the cycle and raise her child differently from the authoritarian way she herself was raised. We'll get into the characteristics of each of these styles, the middle ground where most people truly exist, the reasons why an authoritative style is considered the gold standard in child development and strategies you can use to consciously move toward this style in your day to day parenting. Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/ ✨ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://drsarahbren.com/join-newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources

The ripple effects of how we were raised can often be felt in adulthood as we form and show up in relationships. Joining me this week is clinical psychologist and couples therapist Dr. Marina Rosenthal. We'll discuss the intersection between the work I do in family therapy and the work she does with partners. And we'll offer strategies for successful communication and connection skills in your romantic relationships as well as proactive steps you can take with your children to foster secure attachment. She and I get into the impacts of making kids feel safe and seen in childhood and how this can create the building blocks for their ability to form healthy relationships as adults. Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/ ✨ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://drsarahbren.com/join-newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources

Hearing stories about how other parents have handled similar situations can make us feel less alone and helps give us context of how other "real" parents apply the principles I talk about within their own families. So with that in mind, I wanted to invite two of my former The Authentic Parent students to come on and talk about their experiences becoming moms for the first and second time, and how they've handled the transitions, challenges, triumphs and joys and built their own community of support. And if you're interested in The Authentic Parent: Finding your confidence in your child's first year, go to drsarahbren.com/TAP to learn more and sign up for this 6-week guided course. In the course I'II break down the foundational basics of psychology, child development and attachment science into simple to understand and actionable insights, so you can parent from an informed and confident headspace. Doors are only open now through February 11th, so act now if you're interested in learning to calmly and confidently respond to any problem that arises, connect authentically with your child and truly enjoy parenting! Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/ ✨ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://drsarahbren.com/join-newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources

Whether it's in pregnancy, birthing or parenthood, being informed and properly supported can make parents feel safe, present and less anxious. Joining me this week is birth doula, childbirth educator and founder of C and the Moon, Carson Meyer. We discuss the role of a doula and the importance of having an advocate and grounding influence in the delivery room and the interesting parallels between how feeling empowered and supported in our birth experience can lead to confidence and calm in our transition into motherhood. Plus we share practical mental health strategies (like finding a community, getting proper nourishment and showing yourself grace) that can be implemented into your daily life. And we dig into the core principle of several different parenting philosophies - forming a trusting relationship with your child - and why that can lift some pressure off your shoulders, help you to parent with ease (most of the time,) and allow both you and your child to relax into a comfortable rhythm. Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/ ✨ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://drsarahbren.com/join-newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources

Pregnant women are being bombarded with a never-ending stream of opinions and advice. How can we find that middle ground, where we feel prepared and knowledgeable without surrounding ourselves with so much noise and worst-case scenarios that we become overwhelmed and fearful? Joining me this week is board-certified OB/GYN Shieva Ghofrany. Dr. Shieva and I discuss ways to reduce anxiety during pregnancy, how to be resilient during labor (and in life) and the importance of establishing a trusting and collaborative relationship with your OB/GYN and the support systems you surround yourself with. Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram ✨ Click here to join the weekly newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources

Sacrificing all we have and who we are in our pursuit of being a perfect parent has become a badge of honor in our society. But this isn't a healthy or sustainable model. Joining me today is journalist, community-builder and Not Safe For Mom Group founder, Alexis Barad-Cutler. The pandemic exposed how many of the systems in our society are broken, especially for parents. If you're feeling fed up, angry, and burnt out there is a way to channel that energy into something positive by asking yourself, how can I play a role in changing this? Alexis will offer some potential solutions for ways we can help ourselves on a personal and societal level. Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram ✨ Click here to join the weekly newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources

Have you ever noticed the way we speak to babies? Our baby-talk voices tend to be a lot more melodic than our natural speech patterns. And there's a good reason for that! Music is more emotional. Joining me today is a music therapist, psychotherapist and the founder of Baby In Tune, Vered. She and I discuss the power of our voice, how music can play an essential role in regulating our child's nervous system, the importance of lullabies, and strategies for how music can defuse tense parenting moments. Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram ✨ Click here to join the weekly newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources

Secure attachment is not that fragile! After all, it's biologically hardwired in our children to connect with us to ensure their greatest likelihood of survival—we have to actively work against our children's and our own biology to mess it up. In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur is back to help answer a listener's concern about maintaining a secure attachment bond with her baby once she goes back to work. We'll discuss the basics of attachment theory, dispel the myth that you need to be a martyr to be a working parent, offer tips for finding small moments of connection and attunement throughout your day and help you distinguish the difference between your child's feelings versus the feelings you may be projecting onto them. Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram ✨ Click here to join the weekly newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources

As parents, we may want to shield our children from any pain or sadness they may face, but if we're honest with ourselves, we know this is impossible. So rather than fighting the inevitable, our children are better served if we work to help them understand how to weather the storm, to equip them with tools so they're capable of processing and working through the full range of emotions life has in store for them. Joining me today is Kim John Payne, author of several books, including the number 1 Best Seller Simplicity Parenting. This episode is overflowing with Kim's time-honored guidance for raising healthy children who feel confident to explore and create, as well as mindset shifts to make ourselves that can help us to be more present and allow us to truly enjoy the journey. Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram ✨ Click here to join the weekly newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources

It's important for women to feel powerful, capable and confident during their pregnancy, birth and postpartum journey. After all, our bodies have an innate knowledge of how to do this, we just need to tap into that wisdom. Today I am joined by the creator of the online platform The Bloom Method, Brooke Cates. Brooke and I are busting myths and dispelling societal stigmas surrounding what it means to become a mother. We'll talk about ways you can stay connected to who you are during this massive transition, how to let go of some control and trust in yourself and your baby, and strategies for spiritual, mental, emotional and physical healing in the 4th trimester and beyond. Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? ✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram ✨ Click here to join the weekly newsletter ✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources

Joining me today is developmental psychologist Erin O'Connor, co-creator of Scientific Mommy and co-host of the podcast Parenting Understood. Last week Erin had me on her podcast, and we discussed all the factors that made parents particularly vulnerable to stress, anxiety and burnout during the pandemic in part one of this two part episode. And now, in part two, we're talking all about strategies we can implement right now, in our daily lives to reduce our stress and build support systems around ourselves and our families that enable us to find acceptance and to thrive as we begin looking toward a post-pandemic future. I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show! ✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren ✨ Send an email to [email protected] ✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources

While I am a follower of RIE (resources for infant educarers) and use responsive parenting principles in the way I choose to raise my own children, that doesn't mean I 100% follow these prescriptive practices to a tee. In this episode, I am opening up and revealing 5 so called "parenting rules" that I break as a mom. Understanding the framework behind your own rules can help you identify and feel comfortable breaking some of them from time to time. It can be incredibly liberating to give yourself permission to be flexible in your parenting and prioritize your relationships, attunement and connection over always getting it "right." I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show! ✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren ✨ Send an email to [email protected] ✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources

Dr. Emily Upshur joins me again this week to help a mom whose son is getting frustrated and calling himself "stupid" and "bad." If you've been there, you may have felt yourself start to panic when you hear your son or daughter say similar words. We'll offer you tools to help you regulate your own nervous system in these stressful moments, allowing you to stay calm (or at least calmer) so you can more effectively help your child navigate their big emotions. Next, we review different approaches based on a child's age and how frequently this behavior occurs, and discuss ways that parents can use scaffolding and a growth mindset to build your child's resilience and distress tolerance. I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show! ✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren ✨ Send an email to [email protected] ✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources

In this episode, therapist Robyn Gobbel joins me to discuss the lessons we've garnered from our knowledge of treating trauma, the principles of attachment theory and our understanding of how the human brain and body functions to allow you to unlock an effective, yet underutilized parenting strategy. We'll discuss the advantages of addressing the root cause of your child's behavior, rather than focusing on the behavior itself. This process starts with you - understanding yourself, your triggers and doing the work to re-parent your inner child. We'll offer strategies for getting started and tools you can use - at any stage of your journey - to help you intentionally rewire your own brain and nervous system and help you bring yourself back to center. I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show! ✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren ✨ Send an email to [email protected] ✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources

It takes a village, but what happens when it's suddenly unsafe to be a part of that supportive village? Parents learned the hard way when COVID-19 hit and we were forced into isolation. Now, as we begin to see the other side of this tunnel, we're allowed a unique opportunity to build back, ideally better than before. Joining me today is Digital Content Director for Parents, Julia Dennison. Julia and I discuss the struggles we personally faced parenting during the pandemic, ways we can all adjust now that hybrid work situations are becoming our new normal and the importance of allocating time for guilt-free self-care into your routine. You'll hopefully find this to be an empowering conversation and a show of solidarity that every parent, no matter who they are, is struggling to juggle it all. I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show! ✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren ✨ Send an email to [email protected] ✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources