
Securely Attached
425 episodes — Page 3 of 9
Ep 323Q&A: Am I holding my child back by letting them skip social events?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about... How to find the grey space in your parenting choices and how black and white thinking can be a sign of your own anxiety and overwhelm. The difference between being wishy-washy and intentionally shifting your strategy. How to use "love and limits" to navigate situations that may feel overwhelming to your child. Why these activities may be more difficult for kids during the summer than during the school year, and how to factor in some of the tools you may not even have known were in place during the year. What it means to "shrink a kid's world" and how parents can do that while still stretching their kid just enough. How parents can help determine which activities to push your child to do and which to pull back from. Why it might be harder for you to enforce boundaries during the summer, and a helpful mindset shift you can use to feel more comfortable with your choices. How you can build your child's social skills and strengthen their emotional intelligence. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why birthday parties are so triggering for some kids 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about encouraging shy children without making them feel bad about it 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about temperament and personality with Dr. Koraly Pérez-Edgar WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Ep 322Navigating divorce or separation through a family systems approach: Preventative steps to reduce the risk of insecure attachment with Una Archer
Una Archer joins me for a thoughtful conversation about how to help children feel safe, secure, and resilient in the face of their parents' separation or divorce. Together we explore: Why there's no one-size-fits-all approach to separation, even among siblings, and why tuning into each child's unique needs matters. What the Circle of Security framework is and how it can be used to support children's attachment during major family transitions. The three core emotional needs that children rely on to feel secure, and how parents can meet these needs in everyday moments (check the show notes for a helpful visual!). How to separate your own trauma and fears from your child's experience so you can truly see and respond to them without projection. Why allowing more time and slowness during transitions isn't a setback, but an important part of healing and connection. The power of rupture and repair in relationships and practical ways parents can engage in repair after conflict or misunderstanding. How different family structures after separation—sometimes two distinct family systems—can be healthy depending on what your family needs. Navigating the challenges of co-parenting, including managing handoffs and stepping back when it's not your parenting time. If you're looking for compassionate, practical guidance on fostering secure attachment for your children through big changes, this conversation is full of insights and tools you won't want to miss! LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: https://www.helpyourchildthrive.co.uk/ The Separated Parent's Guide to Attachment: 3 Steps Towards Emotional Security ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉🏻 If you're currently in the midst of separation, moving forward after divorce, or adjusting to life post-split, Upshur Bren Psychology Group's weekly virtual Divorce Process Group for Women provides a safe space for woemen to process their emotions, gain support, and build strategies for moving forward. Visit https://upshurbren.com/group-womensdivorce or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn more. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 https://drsarahbren.com/42-busting-divorce-myths-and-breaking-down-the-true-effect-it-has-on-children-a-conversation-with-michelle-dempsey-multack 🎧 277. Q&A: Is "nesting" during a divorce better for your kids? 🎧 280. Codependency, insecure attachment, and relationship patterns: Creating stronger, healthier romantic partnerships with Alana Carvalho 🎧 102. Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with Dr. Miriam Steele
Ep 321Q&A: What is the best response to my kid who is constantly saying, "I'm bored"?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about... When your child says "I'm bored" does that actually mean they are? How to decode their language to get to the root of their struggles. What is a developmentally appropriate amount of time parents can expect of their children to play independently? What is a "bored list" and a "bored box" and how can you create these tools to help with the summer slump. How self-regulation and executive functioning play a part in your child's feelings of boredom and how understanding this can help you scaffold more effectively. How to use a few minutes of connection time as a bridge into helping your child become engrossed in an activity on their own. A trick for determining if your child may just need help getting started with an activity, especially when going into a new environment or situation, like a park, pool, or playground. In our highly stimulating world, kids can express feeling bored when things are a bit slower. How to off-set this to find more balance. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how screens affect regulation with Ale Duarte 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how you can encourage independent play 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to help your child maintain their friendships over the summer WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Ep 320Why boys and girls need different things: The neuroscience of the sexes with Michael Gurian
New York Times bestselling author, therapist, and social philosopher Michael Gurian joins me for a fascinating conversation about the brain science behind why boys and girls often need different things—and how understanding these differences can help us raise emotionally healthy, resilient kids. Together we explore: The difference between sex and gender. Why boys' brains often orient more toward spatial and kinesthetic activities, and how this shapes the way they bond and communicate. The surprising brain-based reason empathy often comes more easily to girls than boys and how to nurture empathy in boys. How school systems unintentionally disadvantage boys and practical things parents can do at home to help them thrive. Why "use your words" doesn't always work for boys—and how to support emotional expression in more body-based, multisensory ways. The crucial distinction between healthy aggression and violence and why rough-and-tumble play can actually build resilience and connection. How maternal and paternal nurturing styles differ and how each uniquely supports children's development. How understanding these biological and developmental differences can help reduce conflict, build trust, and support each child's unique strengths. If you're curious about what neuroscience can teach us about the different ways boys and girls develop, connect, and express themselves—and how this understanding can help you parent more effectively—this episode is filled with research-based insights and practical tools you won't want to miss! LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 👉🏻 https://www.michaelgurian.com/ 📚 Boys, A Rescue Plan: Moving Beyond the Politics of Masculinity to Healthy Male Development 🎧 Wonder of Parenting - A Brain-Science Approach to Parenting CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 214. Raising emotionally intelligent sons: Parenting boys to combat "toxic masculinity" with Ruth Whippman 🎧 286. Empowering girls to navigate media, body image, and societal pressures with Dr. Jo-Ann Finkelstein 🎧 149. Q&A: How to answer your kid's questions about gender
Ep 319Q&A: Where's the line between supporting my child and feeding their anxiety?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about... What "scaffolding" and "accommodations" actually mean, where they differ, and where they overlap. Why the exact same parenting move can either build your child's confidence or unintentionally undermine your intentions, and the simple trick to figure out which one you're doing! How your child's discomfort plays a role in how you respond to them, and the important information that can reveal to us as parents. A real-life example of the difference between scaffolding versus over-accommodating when you have a child with social anxiety - a helpful framework for what to do and what to try to avoid doing. How scaffolding is specifically tied to skill-building, both emotionally and practically. Why your own bandwidth matters and how to balance consistency with realistic expectations. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Are you parenting a child with anxiety or OCD and looking for tools to support them? CLICK HERE to learn more about Upshur Bren Psychology Group's SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) program or SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to see if it's the right fit for your family. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about supporting kids through fears with Jennie Monness 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about separation anxiety 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about SPACE with the creator of this modality Dr. Eli Lebowitz of the Yale Child Study Center WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Ep 318The neuroscience of control: Helping kids cope with stress and become self-driven with Dr. William Stixrud
Clinical neuropsychologist and co-author of The Self-Driven Child, Dr. William Stixrud joins me for a powerful conversation about how we can raise confident, resilient kids by helping them feel a greater sense of control, without giving up our role as parents. Together we explore: Why a low sense of control is one of the most stressful experiences a child (or adult) can have, and how we can support our kids in feeling more agentful in their lives. How secure attachment and autonomy are deeply connected—and why attachment must come first. What SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) is and how parents can use techniques from this modality whether your child has anxiety or not. Why Dr. Stixrud started saying "I love you too much to fight with you about homework" and how you can use this too to defuse power struggles and build internal motivation. Tips for how parents can more successfully respond to children's behaviors that they can't control, like tantrums, hitting, or screaming. Why stepping in too often can interrupt neurological processes that help kids learn, adapt, and build resilience. How to support self-driven learning, encourage safe risk-taking, and build a foundation of mutual respect in your family. If you're looking to reduce conflict and build more trust in your parent-child relationship, this conversation is filled with evidence-based insight and practical tools you won't want to miss! LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 👉🏻 https://stixrud.com/ ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 📚 The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives 📚 What Do You Say?: How to Talk with Kids to Build Motivation, Stress Tolerance, and a Happy Home 📚 The Seven Principles for Raising a Self-Driven Child: A Workbook 🎧 The Self-Driven Child Podcast 👉🏻 Learned Helplessness at Fifty: Insights from Neuroscience CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 72. Supportive parenting for anxious childhood emotions space how a new treatment for childhood anxiety and OCD is revolutionizing care with Dr. Eli Lebowitz 🎧 244. Understanding parental dysregulation: How to identify and manage your triggers with Dr. Amber Thornton 🎧 146. The hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace 🎧 206. Picky eating, ARFID, and SPACE: How a new anxiety treatment can help your child be more flexible around food with Dr. Yaara Shimshoni
Ep 317Q&A: My 5-year-old prefers my husband, does that mean she is more securely attached to him?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about... What is the difference between attachment bonds and parental preferences? If your child shows you their most dysregulated behaviors, doesn't listen to you, or is their messiest self with you, what these behaviors may reveal. (Spoiler: It's a good sign!) If your child does have an insecure attachment to you, practical strategies and interventions you can use to start repairing your relationship. The difference between independent play and child led play, and how only one of these is used to help you improve your connection. Dr. Sarah's 6-basics that all kids need before you can start developing a deeper bond with your child. How you can tap into your child's attachment security in other relationships to help you deepen your own bond to each other. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 🤳 Go to drsarahbren.com/secure to download my free guide, The Four Pillars of Fostering Secure Attachment, helping you parent with a focus on attunement and trust. 👉🏻 Click here to lean more about support options at Upshur Bren Psychology Group and to schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about children favoring one parent 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about attachment security in our early relationships with Dr. Alan Sroufe 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about breaking an insecure attachment cycle with Dr. Miriam Steele 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do if your child loses it more with you than anyone else 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the benefits of using an authoritative approach to parenting WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Ep 316Self-compassion, critical thinking, and connection: What the research reveals about raising capable kids with Melinda Wenner Moyer
Melinda Wenner Moyer, author of the new book Hello, Cruel World! joins me to break down the most essential skills kids need to thrive in today's complicated times. Together we explore: The three powerful themes Melinda saw again and again in her research and how you can tap into these to help you be more effective in your parenting. Practical and realistic ways to help kids feel truly seen and heard. How slowing down, staying curious, and fostering a growth mindset isn't just for kids, but for parents too. The surprising power of guiding children to discover answers on their own—and how this can actually build critical neural circuitry in their brains A simple, impactful question you can ask your child to help them reflect and learn to trust their own judgment. The critical yet often overlooked role of self-compassion in mental health, and the three key components of self-compassion every parent should know. What it really means when kids say things like "I hate myself" or "I shouldn't be part of this family," and how to respond with empathy. If you've ever felt overwhelmed by the pressures of modern parenting or worried about helping your child manage their feelings and decisions, this episode offers research-backed, actionable wisdom you won't want to miss. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: ✨ https://www.melindawennermoyer.com/ READ HER BOOKS: 📚 Hello, Cruel World!: Science-Based Strategies for Raising Terrific Kids in Terrifying Times 📚 How to Raise Kids Who Aren't A**holes: Science-Based Strategies for Better Parenting--from Tots to Teens CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 252. Secure attachment and growth mindset: The science behind raising well-adjusted kids with Melinda Wenner Moyer 🎧 14. Motherhood as a millennial: Tuning out the noise and learning to find trust in ourselves with Marcella Kelson 🎧 268. A deep dive on parental burnout: What it is, why it happens, and how to overcome it
Ep 315Q&A: My toddler is otherwise potty trained, but still won't poop on the potty - what can I do?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... Why potty training blends both physiological and psychological factors and how parents can wrap their head around both to best support your child. How parents can understand the biological-psychological feedback loop and how this can affect your child's body and mind. How to get on the same page when there are multiple caregivers and providers who spend time with your child. Exactly what to be tracking to help you get to the root of the problem and how to determine if your responses are inadvertently perpetuating the challenges and anxiety your child may be experiencing. Taking a pause if you notice a regression can be helpful - but only for some kids and in some situations. How to know when a reset is appropriate and when you might not want to use this approach with your child. What parents can do to help a child become less fearful and more relaxed in the bathroom. What is interoceptive sensory input, and how can this be helpful to focus on and build for your child outside of the bathroom? REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Go to upshurbren.com to lean more about parenting coaching, therapy, and support options at Upshur Bren Psychology Group. Or, click here to schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to successfully potty train 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about potty training, constipation, bed-wetting, and pelvic health with Quiara Smith 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE) with Dr. Eli Lebowitz WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Ep 314The hidden power of creativity in supporting mental health, resilience, and burnout with art therapist Sharon Itkoff Nacache
Sharon Itkoff Nacache is joining me to break down the myths and truths about art therapy—what it is, what it isn't, and why creativity can be such a powerful tool for healing, integration, and resilience. Together we explore: The common questions people have about art therapy, and how integrating creative arts into therapy can support emotional processing, integration, and healing. The difference between open studio models, art therapy, and art psychotherapy and how each can serve different therapeutic goals. How art can help us (and our kids) process overwhelming experiences that might feel too big or complex to articulate with words alone. Why the materials matter: How Sharon intentionally uses tools like dry or wet media to support different emotional states and how you can use these same principles in your own creative exploration. Why creative expression goes far beyond painting or drawing—how journaling, movement, or even doodling can become powerful tools to ground yourself in moments of stress or burnout. A simple yet powerful exercise Dr. Sarah uses with her clients to identify and reconnect with unmet needs that you can do too. What it means to build "creative resilience" and how it can help you access more joy, safe risk-taking, and a sense of internal flow. Sharon's best strategies for those who feel creatively blocked or don't consider themselves "artistic" and why you don't need to be an artist to benefit from creative self-expression. Whether you've been curious about art therapy or are simply looking for accessible ways to reconnect with yourself and find a sense of emotional grounding, this conversation is full of both inspiration and tangible takeaways. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: Co-Create Art Therapy GET HER BOOK: 📚 The Days Before I Met You: A Creative Space Honoring the Birth of a Parent ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 📚 Your Brain on Art 📚 Art Therapy and Childbearing Issues 📚Art is a Way of Knowing 📚Therapeutic Arts in Pregnancy, Birth, and New Parenthood 👉🏻 Whitney Museum and NYC Health + Hospitals Arts in Medicine department 👉🏻 Postpartum Support International CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 33. How parents can use music as an emotion regulator with music therapist Vered 🎧 47. What we hold in our bodies: Unlocking emotions through dance and movement therapy with dr. Lori Baudino 🎧 240. Processing birth trauma: How to make sense of, heal, and move forward after a difficult birthing experience with Dr. Sterling 🎧 282. Beyond the 6-week checkup: A realistic look at postpartum and early parenthood with Dr. Jessica Vernon
Ep 313Q&A: Is it possible to wean my strong-willed one-year-old off breastfeeding without damaging our bond?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about... There is no correlation between a baby who self-weans and the development of a secure attachment. You're going to piss off your kids a lot… that's totally normal and doesn't mean that they won't form a strong and healthy attachment to you. It makes sense your child wants what feels good to them, but that doesn't necessarily mean that what they want is also what they need. Helpful Hint: When your child stops breastfeeding, there is often a period of time where they will eat less - and this can lead to more anxiety, especially if you are doing this because of concerns over their nutrition. Clothing choices, accessible snacks, and meal planning: Some practical tips for moms who are ready to stop breastfeeding. How to build your child's distress tolerance and help them prepare for this big transition. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 📚 Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense, Revised and Updated Edition by Ellyn Satter ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions with Dr. Eli Lebowitz 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about raising healthy eaters with Amelia Sherry 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about picky eating and ARFID with Dr. Yaara Shimshoni WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Ep 312What every parent needs to know about ADHD: Brain science, behavior, and real-life strategies with Dr. Eliza Barach
In this episode, I'm joined by cognitive psychologist and ADHD expert Eliza Barach to explore the brain-based differences that drive many of the challenges (and strengths!) that come with ADHD. Together we cover: The neuroscience of an ADHD brain and why having this basic knowledge can be so impactful for your parenting! How understanding the roles of dopamine and norepinephrine are important aspects of understanding your child (or yourself!) with ADHD. Why people with ADHD are more vulnerable to all forms of addictions. And while our culture rewards some addictive behaviors (like workaholism) while condemning others, both can have negative impacts on your mental health. How to make transitions easier for your child with ADHD. (Want to learn more about this topic? Check out episode 295. How can I get my child with ADHD go from one activity to the next without a fight?) Specific and real-life strategies parents can implement to add more stimulation to boring tasks that will decrease the amount of fights and power struggles between you and your child. Why kids with ADHD are so prone to meltdowns and how pointing out the logic to your child in these hot moments can help lay the foundation for more self-regulation in the future. (But, only if you do so in the "right" way.) Activating your child's Task Positive Network can be regulating for the nervous system—what parents can do to get this part of your child's brain to turn on. The failing of the system for diagnosis of ADHD, especially in girls and marginalized communities, and why getting a diagnosis is so vital for allowing proper support for a person's unique strengths and challenges. If you've ever wondered whether your child might have ADHD, felt unsure how to support them without constant conflict, or simply wanted to better understand their needs, this episode is packed with clarity, compassion, and expert insights you can put into practice right away. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: https://www.neural-revolution.com/ ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉🏻 How ADHD can impact driving 👉🏻 Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder in Women and Girls: Uncovering This Hidden Diagnosis 👉🏻 Interested in learning more about Upshur Bren Psychology Group's Parenting Your Child with ADHD 8-week virtual workshop series to empower parents of children, adolescents, and young adults with ADHD? Go to upshurbren.com/group-adhd or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn more. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 250. How to make mindfulness more "user-friendly" for parents with ADHD with Dr. Lidia Zylowska 🎧 235. BTS: How can I prepare for an IEP or 504 meeting after my child receives an ADHD diagnosis? 🎧 178. ADHD and attachment security: How to connect with and support your neurodiverse child with Dr. Norrine Russell 🎧 131. Q&A: How do I help my child with ADHD utilize school support systems without feeling embarrassed or self-conscious
Ep 311Q&A: What can I do when my husband pressures our son to play sports, but that's just not who he is?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... How do you know when to encourage your child to stick with an activity versus when it's okay to let them step away? Does your approach change if the activity is a team sport versus an individual activity? What are effective ways to talk to your partner about these concerns without triggering defensiveness or shutting down the conversation? How sibling dynamics along with parental expectations can influence a child's interests and shape their developing identity. A helpful phrase you can use that may reduce some of the pressure and urgency, leading to lessened friction and tension between your partner and child. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about temperament and personality development with Dr. Koraly Pérez-Edgar 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether or not it's okay to let your child quit an activity 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about navigating conflict in your relationship with Dr. Marina Rosenthal WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Ep 310How smartphones really affect kids' mental health: Surprising findings from cutting-edge research with Dr. Wendy Rote
Dr. Wendy Rote is joining me to unpack some surprising and even counterintuitive findings about kids, smartphones, and social media. She and her team are in the middle of a groundbreaking longitudinal study following tweens over time, giving us rare insight into how technology is shaping the mental health and identity development of Generation Alpha. Together we explore: Why the question "Is social media making kids depressed?" might be the wrong one to ask and what we should be asking instead. A finding that might shock you: Kids with smartphones actually show better physical and mental health outcomes in some key areas. What kind of social media behaviors are linked to more depressive symptoms and why it's not as simple as "time spent online." How compulsive checking could be a major mental health red flag that parents often miss. New, not-yet-published finding on the real impact school cell phone bans have been shown to have on kids. Why do some kids without phones actually report more cyberbullying and what that might reveal about exclusion and social dynamics? The one tech rule that makes the biggest difference in kids' well-being that has a greater impact that time limits and parental control setting. If you've ever worried about screen time, debated a phone ban, or felt unsure how to support your child's relationship with tech, this conversation will give you fresh perspective, surprising data, and tangible guidance rooted in real research. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 👉🏻 Learn more about Dr. Wendy Rote's research on ResearchGate and Google Scholar REVIEW THE STUDY: 📚 Life In Media Survey ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 📚 The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness by Jonathan Haidt 🎧 Regulation, reward systems, and rest: Rewiring the way our kids interact with screens with Alé Duarte MORE PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 264. The hidden dangers of EdTech: How technology in schools impacts learning, child development, and mental health with Andy Liddell 🎧 242. Have phones displaced our ability to play and have fun? How to be intentional with your tech use with Catherine Price 🎧 103. Secure attachment vs. social media: Navigating their effects on body image from early childhood to teen years with Dr. Miriam Steele
Ep 309Q&A: How do I set boundaries with my neighbor whose child keeps coming over uninvited?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... It's okay to set boundaries without needing to justify why you are setting them. How to communicate your boundaries to a friend or neighbor (with a sample script you can use!) to honor your needs without burning a bridge. Effective communication strategies and suggested responses for setting restrictions on allowing one of the neighborhood kids to come over uninvited - and how you can respond if your friends or neighbors pushes back. What if your neighbor sees that you let other kids come over unsupervised? A reminder that both the mom setting the boundary and the mom receiving it could benefit from hearing. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering deep and meaningful relationships with Dr. Rick Hanson 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about setting boundaries with family members 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parental dysregulation with Dr. Amber Thornton WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Ep 308Is it normal anxiety or something more? Understanding the signs and supporting kids through fears with Jennie Monness
Jennie Monness is joining me this week to break down the difference between developmentally normal (and healthy!) anxiety and signs that your child may need additional support—and how you can adjust your parenting approach to effectively support both. Together we explore: Why our instinct to remove discomfort may actually make anxiety worse—and what to do instead. How to support children with separation anxiety, and the surprising stressors that often go unnoticed during transitions. Utilizing strategies to help your child feel more grounded, like routines, visual schedules, and previewing. The difference between information gathering and reassurance seeking behaviors in children - and how knowing this difference can impact which parenting tool you use to best support them. Dr. Sarah's simple "anxiety formula" that helps you know exactly where to focus your support. How to get to the root of your child's fear, when it isn't so obvious to decode and identify for parents. Play therapy techniques and somatic work you can use to explore the fears that are hard for your child to talk about or that they are avoiding outside of playful environments. Whether your child is anxious about school drop-off, starting something new, or just seems to struggle with big feelings, this conversation will help you feel more empowered to support them—without needing to rescue them from every hard emotion. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: https://www.jenniemonness.com/ https://www.unionsquareplay.com/ https://charmspring.com/ FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: 📱 @jenniemonness 📱 @drsarahbren ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: Beam : Breathwork + Meditation App Hatch Restore 3 light MORE PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 3. The Wonders of Play: More Than Just a Way to Pass the Time with Jennie Monness 🎧 82. Tips for traveling with babies toddlers and children what every parent needs to hear before their family vacation begins with Jennie Monness 🎧 105. How RIE can evolve into lifelong respectful parenting: Growing your parenting approach as your child grows with Janet Lansbury 🎧 202. Regulation, reward systems, and rest: Rewiring the way our kids interact with screens with Alé Duarte 🎧 72. Supportive parenting for anxious childhood emotions space how a new treatment for childhood anxiety and OCD is revolutionizing care with Dr. Eli Lebowitz
Ep 307Q&A: My toddler is so sensitive that even when I'm being silly with him, he loses it. What can I do?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about... What to do when your toddler spirals from silly to overstimulated in seconds. Unpacking the difference between dysregulation and high arousal—and why this distinction matters. Strategies parents can use to share joyful, silly and playful moment with your sensitive child without overwhelming them. If you stop being so silly and fun, is that over-accommodating and bowing down too much to your child without teaching them that they need to handle this? When these stimulation meltdowns happen, what you can do to recover. How you can build your child's tolerance for the silliness while modulating the intensity to help you. How a playful response can also help move you out of a shame response. Is there a different strategy to use if this high arousal overwhelm comes from a more fun and silly moment versus you losing your cool and yelling? REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Click HERE for my workshop, Be the Calm in Your Child's Storm: How to Keep Your Cool When Your Child Loses Theirs, to get the exact therapeutic interventions I use with my patients that can change the way your brain and body interprets your child's dysregulation to help you stay cool in the heat of the moment. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about managing dysregulated from positive emotions 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parental dysregulation with Dr. Amber Thornton 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when you lose your cool with Dr. Cindy Hovington WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Ep 306C-Sections, birth trauma and the fight for better maternal care with Rachel Somerstein
What if the way we talk about birth is shaping the way we experience it—before it even begins? Joining me to unpack this is journalist, professor, and author of Invisible Labor: The Untold Story of the Cesarean Section, Rachel Somerstein. Together we explore: The hidden biases and ingrained language that shape how we view birth—why terms like "failure to progress" reinforce harmful narratives. Why flexibility is a powerful tool in birth and parenting—and why we so often slip into rigidity when we feel anxious or out of control. The societal pressure to "do birth right" and how it impacts a birthing person's experience. The troubling reality of whose life we prioritize in birth and what that says about our values in America. Why do some births lead to trauma while others don't? What the research reveals about the difference. The importance of preparing for a c-section—even if it's not part of your birth plan—so that you feel safe and supported if it happens. Simple but impactful shifts that could make c-sections a more positive experience. With 1 in 3 births resulting in a c-section, this is a conversation every birthing person deserves to hear. Tune in for a thought-provoking deep dive into the realities of modern birth and what we can do to reclaim agency in the process. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 👉🏻 https://www.rachelsomerstein.com/ 📚 Invisible Labor: The Untold Story of the Cesarean Section and the Disturbing State of Maternal Medical Care FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL: 📱 IG: @rachelesomerstein & LinkedIn: Rachel Somerstein 📱 IG: @drsarahbren ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Click HERE to download my free interactive workbook, My Mental HealthPostpartum Checklist, that will help you create a personalized mental health support system for yourself allowing you to feel more confident and relaxed, knowing you have a plan for whatever your unique postpartum experience may be. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 240. Processing birth trauma: How to make sense of, heal, and move forward after a difficult birthing experience with Dr. Sterling 🎧 282. Beyond the 6-week checkup: A realistic look at postpartum and early parenthood with Dr. Jessica Vernon 🎧 35. Rethinking the birth plan: How to create a plan with your OB/GYN that supports resilience and reduces anxiety during and after pregnancy with Dr. Shieva Ghofrany
Ep 305Q&A: My 3-year-old is ok with sharing, but refuses to take turns - what can I do?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about... What is the difference between sharing and taking turns from a developmental standpoint? When the validation of your child's feelings doesn't seem to work well–what to do instead. Why there actually is a form of grief as a part of the taking turns experience and a mindset shift you can use to feel compassion for that feeling (even if it feels completely ridiculous to you from an adult perspective!) Territoriality versus play challenges - unpacking the different skillsets needed for different types of turn-taking experiences. Games you can play to practice the skills required for taking turns. A reminder to parents that while this can feel high stakes, that intensity may inadvertently add to the dysregulation your child feels and cause them to dig their heels in more. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Want more games specifically designed for fostering emotion regulation? Go to drsarahbren.com/games to get my free guide packed with games you can play with kids of all ages! ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about getting kids to start sharing 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about getting your toddler to do things they don't want to do 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting a sensitve, "spicy" or highly emotional child WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Ep 304Stress, screens, shifting hormones, and early puberty: Why parenting 6-12 year olds is more important now than ever with Dr. Sheryl Ziegler
In this episode, psychologist and author of The Crucial Years Dr. Sheryl Ziegler joins me to shine a light on the unique needs and challenges of raising 6-12 year olds - a period often overlooked in parenting conversations, despite being a period of massive emotional, social, and biological development. Together we explore: Why puberty is starting younger than ever, what's driving this trend, and how stress and environment play a critical role. How to tell when your child's "teenage" behaviors (like slamming doors or talking back) are developmentally normal versus when they may be signaling something more. How to foster self-esteem and emotional regulation using Erik Erikson's psychosocial stages as a framework. What "industriousness" versus "inferiority" means for kids—and why understanding this distinction matters so much for healthy development. How parenting styles are being shaped by the internet, social norms, and cultural messaging—and how to stay grounded in what your individual child needs. Why the pandemic had a unique impact on kids in this age range and how that continues to show up in surprising ways. Actionable strategies for parents of middle-year kids, including emotional attunement, helping them name and understand nuanced feelings, and how to have brave conversations about tough topics. With humor, warmth, and deep clinical insight, Dr. Ziegler offers a compassionate reminder that while the middle years may fly under the radar, they are foundational—and your presence during this time matters more than you think. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 👉🏻 https://drsherylziegler.com/ 📚 The Crucial Years: The Essential Guide to Mental Health and Modern Puberty in Middle Childhood (Ages 6-12) 📚 Mommy Burnout: How to Reclaim Your Life and Raise Healthier Children in the Process 🎧 Dr. Sheryl's PodCouch FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL: 📱 @drsherylziegler 📱 @drsarahbren ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉🏻 May 2021 : Declaration of a National Emergency in Child and Adolescent Mental Health 👉🏻 Erik Erikson's Stages of Development 👉🏻 The Step-Father Effect CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 263. BTS: How do I respond to my daughter's "mean girl" behaviors? Is she a bully? 🎧 How to handle peer rejection in early adolescence with Dr. Emily Upshur 🎧 238. Temperament, personality, and parenting: What you do (and don't) have control over as a parent with Dr. Koraly Pérez-Edgar
Ep 303Q&A: My 8-year-old is suddenly refusing to go to school, how should I handle this?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... Not all school refusal looks the same. Learn how to recognize the different types and when it's time to seek extra support. Understanding the science of anxiety and how these feelings can actually create physical symptoms like tummy aches or headaches. Strategies for getting to the root cause of what may be causing your child's school refusal so you can address the actual source of the problem. What is "contagion anxiety" and how can this spread through classrooms and schools? When and how to have reflective conversations with your child that will help you form a clearer understanding of what is bothering them - with sample questions you can use to get you started. How to build your child's distress tolerance and resiliency at a manageable rate, so they are able to cross this hurdle without fully shutting down. A quick primer on SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) and how this is a helpful approach for navigating your child's anxiety. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 📚 Breaking Free of Child Anxiety and OCD: A Scientifically Proven Program for Parents by Eli R. Lebowitz, PhD 👉🏻 Click here to lean more about support options at Upshur Bren Psychology Group and to schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about school refusal and anxiety with Dr. Erica Miller 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about challenging perfectionism and academic pressures 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE)Dr. Eli Lebowitz WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Ep 302Is a Neuropsych Evaluation right for your child? Breaking down the process with Dr. Yael Rothman & Dr. Katia Fredriksen
What if understanding how your child thinks and learns could completely change the way you support them—and help them thrive in the process? Dr. Yael Rothman and Dr. Katia Fredriksen of Neuropsych Moms are joining me this week to demystify neuropsychological evaluations and empower parents with the tools to better understand and advocate for their children. The surprising ways neuropsych testing can help unlock your child's potential (hint: it's not just about diagnoses). Why leaning into your child's strengths matters—and how to do that without tipping into toxic positivity. The conversation around diagnosis that so many parents fear—and why not talking about it might actually be more harmful. The 3 questions to ask yourself to help you determine if you should get your child a neuropsych evaluation and what you can expect from the process once you've made the decision to move forward. Is there an ideal age for children to receive a neuropsych evaluation? The importance of connecting all your child's doctors and mental health providers and why so many parents don't know this is an option. Clearing up some of the most common myths and fears surrounding a diagnosis like ADHD and autism. Before you have a conversation with your child about their diagnosis, what parents should do first. Whether you're wondering if a neuropsych evaluation is right for your child or you're looking for guidance after a diagnosis, tune in now to feel more confident and informed. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUESTS: https://www.neuropsychmoms.com/ https://stixrud.com/staff/katia-fredriksen/ https://www.rothmanpediatricneuropsychology.com/ READ THEIR BOOKS: 📚 Different Thinkers: ADHD 📚 Different Thinkers: Autism FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL: 📱 @neuropsychmoms 📱 @drsarahbren ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Private Insurers Must Now Cover Dyslexia Testing in New York 👉🏻 The Brain Building Books 👉🏻 If you're interested in exploring whether your child could benefit from a Neuropsychological Evaluation, CLICK HERE to learn about what we offer at Upshur Bren Psychology Group or SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Treating autism with a strength based approach with Dr. Lynn Kern Koegel 🎧 How to modify traditional sleep strategies for kids with neurodiverse brains with Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown 🎧 ADHD and attachment security with Dr. Norrine Russell
Ep 301Q&A: How can I help my child handle losing without meltdowns or tears?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about... Simple, effective emotion regulation strategies that actually work for 6-year-olds when disappointment over losing takes over—and how to use them in a way that feels supportive, not controlling. When to step in and what to say—a breakdown of the best parenting approaches before, during, and after a game to help your child manage big feelings in the moment (and build skills for the future). The secret to teaching good sportsmanship outside of game time—why some of the most powerful lessons happen when no one's keeping score. How the exact same words you say to your child can be either validating and invading - and what makes the difference so you can avoid the latter. How to keep things fun while still building resilience—because not every moment needs to be a teaching moment (and knowing when to step back is just as important). Unpacking the root drive of competitiveness in children so you know how to best channel this toward healthy and socially acceptable behaviors. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how positive emotions can dysregulate kids too 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about understanding our child's sensory sensitivities with Alyssa Blask Campbell 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about temperament, personality, and parenting with Dr. Koraly Pérez-Edgar 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about raising emotionally intelligent sons with Ruth Whippman WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Ep 300When your child has a chronic illness: Navigating challenges, fostering autonomy, and managing anxiety with Dr. Kate Herts
When your child has a chronic illness, it doesn't just impact their physical health—it can touch every corner of their life and yours. But the signs that something deeper is going on aren't always as obvious as you'd think. In this episode, clinical psychologist Dr. Kate Herts and I dive into the emotional, behavioral, and practical complexities of parenting a child with a chronic illness—from the confusing early symptoms to the long road toward diagnosis, and everything in between. Together we explore: - The surprising ways chronic illness can show up in children—sometimes with symptoms that seem completely unrelated. - It is understandable for parents of chronically ill children to become overly protective. We'll offer you strategies you can use to challenge this fear-based response so your child doesn't internalize messages that they can't do things independently - What to do when your child is the one limiting themselves—and how to know when to step in. - Navigating sibling dynamics, school absences, financial challenges, and some of the most common challenges that families with children with chronic illness face. - What most of us get wrong when we try to prepare for an uncertain future—and how to shift into the here and now. - How to balance supporting your medical child's needs with fostering independence, confidence, and resilience. Drawing from both her professional expertise and her own experience growing up with a chronic illness, Dr. Herts offers compassionate, actionable guidance for parents navigating this journey. LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. KATE: https://healthpsychny.com CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 260. Neurodiverse brains and sleep: How to modify traditional sleep strategies with Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown 🎧 213. Q&A: What's the best way to talk about my child's diagnosis with her and her sibling? 🎧 43. School refusal and anxiety: What parents can do to support their children with Dr. Erica Miller 🎧 72. Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE): How a new treatment for childhood anxiety and OCD is revolutionizing care with Dr. Eli Lebowitz
Ep 299Q&A: I know we're supposed to love our children equally…but what if I don't?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... - It may be taboo to say, but it's very common for parents to feel more connected to one child than another. - A sample script you can use with your kids to articulate the different types of relationship dynamics you have with each of them that will serve to actually strengthen your bond. - Some kids require extra support which may lead to more friction in your relationship - how you can orient these kids to what connects you over what is more challenging about your relationship. - Why focusing on children's strengths, especially children who are more sensitive or explosive, can be so crucial. - How you can form a stronger bond with a child who you may not naturally feel as easily connected to. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to respond if your child is favoring one parent 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the pressure to be a perfect mom with Gayane Aramyan 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering deep and meaningful relationships with Dr. Rick Hanson WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Ep 298The science of energy healing: The impact attention, intention, and presence has on our nervous system with Stephanie Filardi
What if small shifts in your awareness and energy could help you feel more connected, present, and empowered—not just as a parent, but as a whole person? Energy practitioner Stephanie Filardi is joining me this week to help us explore how being aligned and connected to yourself allows you to make choices that support not only your child's mental health, but your own well-being, too. In this episode, we explore: The difference between "woo-woo" energy healing and what research actually shows about the mind-body connection. How we can direct our focus and beliefs to shift our energy and mindset. Why no emotion is inherently bad—and how to work with difficult feelings, rather than against them, in yourself and your child. What meditation can open up for you and how to use it practically in your parenting life. What it really means to "accept what is"—and how this concept can reduce stress and increase clarity. How our kids pick up on our energy (even when we don't say a word). What research reveals about how attention shapes our brain and behavior. The ego's role in pulling us out of alignment—and how to shift from control to connection. A calming, grounding meditation you can return to anytime you feel overwhelmed. If you're craving more ease and alignment in your life and parenting, this episode is full of actionable insights that will help you shift out of burnout and into a more grounded, intentional way of being.
Ep 297Q&A: Is my 3-year-old's hitting a sign of aggression or sensory seeking?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about... - What are sensory seeking and sensory inhibiting behaviors and drives? - How you can determine whether your child's "aggressive behaviors" are actually sensory seeking - and how this changes the interventions you use. - Are these behaviors volitional? Our answer might surprise you! - What to do if your child's aggressive behaviors don't seem to be fueled by a reaction to anything in the environment (aka, they hit the kid next to them seemingly out of nowhere.) - The occupational therapy strategies that parents can use with your kids to activate their sensory input systems. - Why helping kids understand themselves opens the door to allowing them to build their regulation toolkit. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about sensory processing with occupational therapist Laura Petix 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about getting your toddler to stop yelling when she is upset 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether some common parenting interventions might be making your child act more aggressively WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Ep 296How we heal: Rethinking attachment through the lens of AEDP with Dr. Diana Fosha and Karen Pando Mars
In this episode, the creator of AEDP, Dr. Diana Fosha, psychotherapist Karen Pando-Mars, and I dive into the science of healing attachment wounds and exploring how AEDP can help people create healthier patterns. Together we explore: - What exactly is AEDP, directly from the creator of this therapy modality herself - Unpacking how and why attachment "styles" aren't as fixed as we often think, and may not even be the most accurate way of thinking about attachment security...and what actually is! - What the research reveals about repairing attachment ruptures and how to get through them in order to establish a secure attachment relationship. - An exercise in reflective functioning and the types of things you can say to model and build this skill in your child. - A trick for allowing yourself to stay in a feeling of discomfort or shame without immediately going straight to defensiveness. - What people with different attachment styles need to start to move more toward secure attachment. Tune in for a discussion that will shift your perspective on attachment, healing, and the power of connection. SHOW NOTES: (link) LEARN MORE ABOUT AEDP: https://aedpinstitute.org/ ATTEND THEIR CONFERENCE: https://aedpinstitute.org/aedp-conference-2025-in-it-together/ READ THEIR BOOK: 📚 Tailoring Treatment in Attachment Patterns: Healing Trauma in Relationships CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with Dr. Miriam Steele 🎧 Codependency, insecure attachment, and relationship patterns: Creating stronger, healthier romantic partnerships with Alana Carvalho 🎧 The lifelong impact of early relationships: How secure attachment influences children's ability to make sense of their experiences and cope in the face of adversity with Dr. Alan Sroufe
Ep 295Q&A: How can I get my child with ADHD go from one activity to the next without a fight?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about... - The science of why transitions are so hard for the ADHD brain - it's not just that you or your child are "difficult," it's actually the way a neurodiverse brain works. - What type of executive functioning skills need more scaffolding for a person with ADHD (and the good news, that being intentional about strengthening them can be a real game changer!) - Some of these underdeveloped skills can create a snowball effect. Learn exactly how you can identify and make changes to your child's day to improve these challenging patterns. - A few real-life examples of how Dr. Emily breaks down tasks, like getting her son to soccer practice with all his gear or helping him study for a test, that makes it easier for him, her, and their whole family. - Creating a systematic approach for lessening how much support you offer your child that is most likely to help them internalize these new skills and behaviors. - A transition hack you can use that will make it easier to go from activity to activity. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: The digital platform Dr. Emily uses with her own child: Quizlet Create a visual guide of your child's routine: Small Dry Erase Whiteboard, A visual timer you can use: 60-Minute Timer 👉🏻 Are you interested in exploring executive functioning supports? At Upshur Bren Psychology Group we offer a wide range of options, including in-person groups for kids who live locally and coaching virtual supports for those nationally. SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your child feel comfortable accepting ADHD School accommodations 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about making mindfulness more "user-friendly" for parents with ADHD with Dr. Lidia Zylowska 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to modify traditional sleep strategies for children with neurodiversity with Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Ep 294Parenting styles across cultures: The universal and unique factors that influence secure attachment bonds with Dr. Miguelina German
The way we parent isn't just shaped by psychology—it's deeply influenced by culture, shaping how our children experience love, discipline, and security in ways we may not even realize. Joining me to unpack this is clinical psychologist Dr. Miguelina German. In this episode we explore: - Two overarching parenting frameworks, Attachment Theory and Baumrind Parenting Practices, and how understanding the nuances of each can help us in our parenting approach. - The importance of "warmth" in parenting and what the research reveals of the positive correlation between our child's perception of high warmth with positive outcomes. - How generational trauma, values, and cultural norms can inform differences in parenting strategies and styles. - The impact of being separated from a caregiver as a young child and the attachment rupture that can occur during critical developmental times. - How to repair a relationship that has undergone an attachment rupture. Parenting is not one-size-fits-all. By understanding the interplay between attachment, cultural influences, and parenting styles, we can create stronger, more secure connections with our children. LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. MIGUELINA: https://www.drmiguelinagerman.com/ ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: Ghosts in the Nursery: A Psychoanalytic Approach to the Problems of Impaired Infant-Mother Relationships Angels in the nursery: The intergenerational transmission of benevolent parental influences Dr. Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson - The 4 S's CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Understanding parenting styles and the benefits of an authoritative approach 🎧 Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with Dr. Miriam Steele 🎧 Positive parenting isn't permissive parenting: How to integrate effective discipline that prioritizes emotional and and mental health with Sarah R. Moore
Ep 293Q&A: How can I find a safe therapist after experiencing complex trauma?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... - When you notice unhealthy patterns in how you tend to show up in relationships or in past therapy, how you can communicate that to your new therapist to help treatment be more successful. - If you're feeling overwhelmed by the idea of starting with a new therapist, we share a conversation starter that may make you feel more confident. - Strategies for vetting potential therapists - both for professional expertise as well as goodness of fit. - Red flags to be on the lookout for as you are deciding if a therapist is right for you. - Why it can be helpful to have a basic understanding of the different types of evidence-based treatments and clinical interventions for complex trauma, or whatever mental health challenge you're struggling with. - How to take into account the cultural, personal, and clinical sensitivities you may have when making your choice. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Click here to lean more about support options at Upshur Bren Psychology Group and to schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn about the resources for your unique needs. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Using presence as the antidote to trauma: How we begin to break cycles with Dr. Jacob Ham 🎧 Simplifying the jargon associated with therapy: How to be an educated consumer of psychological interventions with Dr. Katie C. Lewis 🎧 Parenting after complex trauma: A mother's journey toward healing in parenthood with Stephanie Foo WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Ep 292Can a secure attachment bond protect children against Imposter Syndrome? A conversation with Dr. Lisa Orbé-Austin
What if small shifts in the way you parent could help prevent Imposter Syndrome in your child before it even starts? Dr. Lisa Orbé-Austin is joining me this week to help parents learn how to raise a child who trusts in their own abilities, values, and worth. In this episode we explore: - What imposter syndrome actually is (and what it isn't!) from a scientific and psychological perspective. - Why it's common to see self-sabotaging behaviors in people who are experiencing Imposter Syndrome - and what you can do to help you or your kids combat this. - The impact of rigid versus growth mindset on children as they develop and grow. - Are certain attachment patterns more prone to Imposter Syndrome? - The types of conversations you can have with your child, and even with other adults in front of your child, that will lay the groundwork for resilience. - Why receiving a neurodiversity diagnosis can be empowering for kids and can help combat many associated challenges, Imposter Syndrome being one of them! - What does it mean to hyper-regulate and how does our environment reinforce this behavior? Is it more common in men or women? With certain siblings? - We're unpacking it all! If you're someone who's ever doubted their own success, or is noticing perfectionistic tendencies in your child, this episode is packed with eye-opening takeaways you won't want to miss! LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. LISA: https://www.dynamictransitionsllp.com/ READ DR. LISA'S BOOKS: 📚 Your Child's Greatness: A Parent's Guide to Raising Children without Impostor Syndrome 📚 Own Your Greatness: Overcome Impostor Syndrome, Beat Self-Doubt, and Succeed in Life 📚 Your Unstoppable Greatness: Break Free from Impostor Syndrome, Cultivate Your Agency, and Achieve Your Ultimate Career Goals FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL: 📱 IG: @drorbeaustin and LinkedIn: Lisa Orbé-Austin, PhD 📱 IG: @drsarahbren ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉🏻 If you're interested in exploring whether your child could benefit from a Neuropsychological Evaluation, CLICK HERE to learn about what we offer at Upshur Bren Psychology Group or SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 How can I parent my daughter so she doesn't become a people pleaser? 🎧 ADHD and attachment security: How to connect with and support your neurodiverse child with Dr. Norrine Russell 🎧 How do I help my child with ADHD utilize school support systems without feeling embarrassed or self-conscious?
Ep 291Q&A: How can I help my child who's scared every small injury is an emergency?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about... - What to do when your reassurances to your child doesn't help soothe their anxiety. - A sample script of the type of thing you can say (and wait to try to avoid saying) to help your child believe that they can cope with the feeling of anxiety. - When our good intentions go bad - some of the most common "mistakes" parents make when navigating their child's anxiety. - Understanding the difference between temporarily soothing your child's fears and using a more effective long-term solution. - Is it anxiety? The questions to ask yourself to help you determine if your child is experiencing anxiety beyond a normative level. - How to tell your child you are going to start doing things differently when they start feeling anxious. - Should you respond differently when your child's anxiety is fueled by something that is possible (like a medical misdiagnosis) rather than something we as adults know are impossible (like a monster under the bed)? REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with Eli Lebowitz about SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) that he developed 👉🏻 If you're interested in exploring SPACE and the treatment options for childhood anxiety, CLICK HERE to learn about the support options at Upshur Bren Psychology Group or SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about managing your child's separation anxiety 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about that will help your determine when it's time to seek support managing your child's anxiety 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about school refusal with Dr. Erica Miller WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Ep 290Self sacrifice, mom-guilt, and martyrdom in motherhood: Fighting against the pressure to be perfect with Gayane Aramyan
In this episode, licensed marriage and family therapist Gayane Aramyan joins me to unpack the "perfect mom" pressure so many of us contend with on a daily basis. In this episode we cover: - Why our expectations of motherhood often don't match reality—and how to stop blaming ourselves when they don't. - The hidden ways control fuels anxiety and overwhelm, and how loosening our grip can make parenting easier. - The power of flexibility in parenting, and why giving yourself permission to adapt can be a game-changer. - What to do when you reach a stage of your child's development that you simply don't enjoy. - The key support systems to have in place before entering motherhood to make the transition smoother. - The differences we're seeing with millennial mothers from what has been considered norms of the past. - How to know when the mom-guilt you feel is getting in the way of your parenting and strategies for challenging it. If you've ever felt like you're falling short of the motherhood ideal, this conversation is here to remind you: You don't have to be perfect—you just have to be you. LEARN MORE ABOUT GAYANE: https://www.therapywithgayane.com/ FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: 📱@therapywithgayane 📱 @drsarahbren CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Breaking the perfectionist mold: How embracing the messy middle is healthier for you and your kids with Monica Packer 🎧 Motherhood as a Millennial: Tuning out the noise and learning to find trust in ourselves with Marcella Kelson 🎧 Social anxiety in parenthood: Navigating play dates, mom-friends, and putting yourself out there with Justine Carino
Ep 289Q&A: My 5-year-old has been clingy and hyperfocused on one friend, is this normal?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about... - Dr. Sarah and Dr. Rebecca sympathize with this mom and reflects on how great it would be if we could choose our kid's friends - but offer a mindset shift for why that actually wouldn't be healthy. - Who to turn to for support to help you determine what your best course of action might be. - A statement you can say to your child that can help you begin to understand why they may be exhibiting more clingy behaviors. - How to get to the root of your own anxieties and fears so you can determine what you might be projecting onto your kids versus what are actual issues they need support navigating. - What to avoid saying to your child that may unintentionally cause them to pull away from you. - A formula you can use (that works with children of all ages!) to help you know whether the questions you are asking your child will likely be helpful or may lead to increased pressure. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering secure attachments in peer relationships with Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about peer rejection 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode that will help you empower your daughter with media, body image, and societal pressures with Dr. Jo-Ann Finkelstein WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Ep 288Parenting after complex trauma: A mother's journey toward healing in parenthood with Stephanie Foo
EWhen journalist and author Stephanie Foo was diagnosed with Complex Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD), she left her job and devoted herself to healing—a journey she chronicled in her bestselling memoir, What My Bones Know. Now, as a mother, she's navigating what it means to parent with complex trauma, balancing the high-alert nervous system that comes with C-PTSD while trying to stay present for her child. In this powerful conversation, Stephanie shares: - The difference between PTSD and C-PTSD—and why relational healing is essential for many forms of trauma. - How motherhood reshapes the brain and why it can trigger fight-or-flight responses. - The unique challenges of rupture and repair with a child versus an adult. - Why parents with complex trauma may struggle with isolation and finding a supportive community can be so helpful. - The strategies that have helped Stephanie most, all of which are useful for any parent, with or without trauma. If you've ever felt like parenting is unearthing deep, unresolved parts of yourself, this episode offers both insight and hope. LEARN MORE ABOUT STEPHANIE: https://www.stephaniefoo.me/ READ STEPHANIE'S BOOK: 📚 What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: 📱@foofoofoo 📱 @drsarahbren ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: Why the "Still-Face" Experiment Was a Game-Changer The Strange Situation CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 186. Using presence as the antidote to trauma: How we begin to break cycles with Dr. Jacob Ham 🎧 204. The science of "mom-rage" and how to use mindfulness as a tool for being less reactive with Diana Winston 🎧 272. Maternal health, dyadic work, and IFS: Why specialized mental healthcare providers matter with Rebecca Geshuri and Paige Bellenbaum
Ep 287Q&A: Is my guilt over being a working mom hurting my parenting?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about... - Dr. Sarah and Dr. Rebecca debate whether mom-guilt is inherent to all mothers or a societally structured construct (Spoiler: Dr. Rebecca wins this battle!) - The critical distinction between distress and guilt and why one can be a destructive grenade in parenting. - Releasing guilt is a form of activism - we're explaining why. - How to course correct once you've noticed you're parenting from a space of guilt. - The question to ask yourself that can help guide your behaviors as a parent that come from a place of attunement and trust, rather than guilt or fear. - Using a "values-driven" distinction to help you determine the root reasons you are making certain decisions, and how bringing this into your consciousness can be helpful. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about turning parenthood into a career asset with Lauren Smith Brody 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about managing working parent guilt with Daisy Dowling 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about balancing parenthood, partnership, and work with Dr. Yael Schonbrun WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Ep 286Empowering girls to navigate media, body image, and societal pressures with Dr. Jo-Ann Finkelstein
Girls are often sent messages that can leave them feeling unseen, unheard, and boxed in by societal expectations. How can we as parents help them challenge these limiting narratives and grow into their full potential? In this episode, I'm joined by Dr. Jo-Ann Finkelstein to explore: - How societal norms shape girls' self-perception, from the "pink frilly dress" phase to body image struggles in their teens. - Research statistics that will blow your mind on everything from when gender bias begins, how widespread it is, and its impact on everything from what parents Google to how often girls and boys are called on in school. - How to examine and confront the gender stereotypes we unknowingly pass on to our kids when so much of it is unconscious. - Practical strategies to help kids understand and navigate the societal messages they encounter. Including a simple yet powerful hack for challenging gender roles when reading children's books. - Actionable advice for fostering resilience and confidence in girls, as well as how to teach boys to work alongside girls to combat toxic masculinity. If you want to help your kids break free from limiting narratives and thrive as their authentic selves, this episode is a must-listen! LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. JO-ANN: https://www.joannfinkelstein.com/ READ DR. JO-ANN'S BOOK: 📚 Sexism & Sensibility: Raising Empowered, Resilient Girls in the Modern World JOIN JO-ANN'S SUBSTACK: 📖 The Feminist Parent FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: 📱@joannfinkelstein.phd @joannfinkelstein.phd 📱@drsarahbren ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 📺 Ada Twist, Scientist 📺 Vida the Vet CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Secure attachment vs. social media: Navigating their effects on body image from early childhood to teen years with Dr. Miriam Steele 🎧 How can I parent my daughter so she doesn't become a people pleaser? 🎧 Raising emotionally intelligent sons: Parenting boys to combat "toxic masculinity" with Ruth Whippman
Ep 285Q&A: When is the best time to tell my toddler that I'm pregnant?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... - Exactly when we'd recommend you tell your child that you're pregnant. - Why it's important to help your child make sense of what is happening in their life—and the conclusions they can jump to if we don't share things (in a developmentally appropriate manner) with them. - A conversation starter and basic script you can use to introduce this concept to your young child. - How these dynamics can change depending on if it's the second, third, or fourth baby you're welcoming. - The types of topics you want to try to cover (and which ones to try to avoid) when you first tell your child you are pregnant. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about going from one to two with Lindsay Ellingson 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about pregnancy, postpartum, and early parenthood with Dr. Jessica Vernon 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do during pregnancy to make you less vulnerable to postpartum anxiety 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about movement during pregnancy and beyond with Dr. Megan Roche WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Ep 284The do's and don'ts of supporting a grieving child: What every parent needs to know with Dr. Dan Wolfson
Grief isn't something we get over—it's something we integrate. Joining me to discuss this and the best way to support children through profound loss is Dr. Dan Wolfson, a clinical psychologist specializing in grief. In this episode we explore: - The skills needed for fostering resilience and helping children and adults learn to grieve in a healthy manner. - The importance of "oscillation" through grief and how Dr. Dan works with his patients to help them learn to process their feelings without these emotions completely overtaking them. - How to help determine when and how it's time for your child (or you) to go back to things like extracurricular activities, birthday parties, and other "normal" ways of reengaging with life. - Parents are often hesitant to show their own grief to their children, however, this can be a helpful form of modeling. We discuss appropriate ways to share your emotions with your child. - Typical behaviors and regressions we often see in children who are processing profound sadness and difficult emotions, so you know what to be on the lookout for. If you or your child are navigating profound loss, this conversation is here to remind you that healing isn't linear, and you don't have to do it alone. LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. DAN: https://www.wolfsontherapy.com/danwolfson LEARN MORE ABOUT EXPERIENCE CAMPS: https://experiencecamps.org/about-us FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: 📱@wolfsontherapy 📱 @drsarahbren ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Click here to lean more about support options at Upshur Bren Psychology Group and to schedule a free 15-minute consultation call to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs. 📚 The Invisible String CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 192. Death, grief, and parenting: How we can help our kids make sense of and make peace with death with Rabbi Steve Leder 🎧 194. Confronting death to find a deeper meaning in life: A continuation of my conversation with Rabbi Steve Leder 🎧 70. Helping children process, accept and understand death with death doula Heather Hogan
Ep 283Q&A: What can I do when my child feels left out by her friends?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about... - First things first, why are schools still sending out candy grams in this current climate with a loneliness epidemic on the rise? - Cliques and posses that form in middle school are often rife with envy, jealousy, gossip, and temptation - how to help our kids navigate this. - What advice to give your child when they are left out in a friend group. - How to help a child who tends to avoid conflict in their interpersonal relationships build a greater tolerance for joining in and addressing things directly. - "There is a difference between a kid who says 'I am going to let this go' vs. 'I am going to hold this in.'" - Understanding "social currency" and how that impacts children, especially as they move into the stage of development where their attention begins to move away from their parents and much more heavily toward their peers. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about talking with your teen with Elizabeth Bennett 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about respond to your child who you think is bullying other kids 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about social media's impact on your child's attachment security with Dr. Miriam Steele WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Ep 282Beyond the 6-week checkup: A realistic look at postpartum and early parenthood with Dr. Jessica Vernon
Do you know the signs of postpartum depression? Many parents (and even medical professionals) often miss diagnosing new mothers with a perinatal mood and anxiety disorder. Here to help shed light on this important topic is Board-Certified OB/GYN and author of the upcoming book, Then Comes Baby, Dr. Jessica Vernon. In this episode we explore: - Why postpartum mental health conditions are so often overlooked—even in medical training. - The types of questions Dr. Jessica started asking her prenatal and postpartum patients that allowed them the space to open up and reveal the struggles they were experiencing. - How the 6-week check-in after birth become the standard practice and what birthing people can expect of their bodies and minds at the 6-week mark. - Why women experiencing mental health struggles in postpartum are so prone to feelings of guilt and shame - even though there is no difference between medical risks and mental health risks, as a society we tend to attach more shame to mental health challenges. - What is matrescence and how is it revolutionizing the way we view early motherhood. - Managing our expectations with the realization that reality and our fantasies often don't match up and how that can cause struggles - from birth, to feeding, postpartum, and early parenthood. - Free moms groups, books, and other resources for expecting and new parents. Whether you're pregnant, newly postpartum, or a professional working with new parents, this episode offers essential insights into how we can improve postpartum care and support maternal mental health. LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. JESSICA: https://www.drjessicavernon.com/ PRE-ORDER DR. JESSICA'S BOOK: 📚 Then Comes Baby: An Honest Conversation about Birth, Postpartum, and the Complex Transition to Parenthood ARE YOU A MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL? Go to upshurbren.com/IFSTraining to register for The Good Mom/Bad Mom Loop, a 3-hour workshop on 2/27 designed to teach professionals how to integrate Internal Family Systems concepts into maternal mental health services to provide improved support for moms. FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: 📱 @drsarahbren 📱 @dr.jessicavernon, Jessica Vernon, Jessica Vernon, MD, FACOG, PMH-C ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 📚 Ordinary Insanity: Fear and the Silent Crisis of Motherhood in America 📚 Matrescence: On Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Motherhood ✨ Postpartum Support International CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Going back to work after baby: Maintaining a healthy and secure attachment bond 🎧 How to lighten the load in pregnancy and postpartum with Dr. Sterling 🎧 A breakdown of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs) 🎧 Sex after baby - Part I and Part II
Ep 281Q&A: My high-schooler is struggling with perfectionism and academic pressures, how can I help him feel less stressed?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about... - Even if we aren't adding more pressure onto our kids, the world often pushes external achievements on them - how can parents push back against this? - Why trying to problem-solve with your child may seem like it's supporting them, but could actually be perpetuating their anxiety. - The one pillar you can use as a parent to guide all your interactions with your child that can help to defuse the pressure they feel, rather than inadvertently adding to it. - Saying grades don't matter is like saying, "throw your sense of control out the window." What to say instead. - Our society glorifies perfectionism, but in reality, kids who engage in highly perfectionist tendencies tend to have higher anxiety and internalize their stress, which can lead to missed signs that they need support. What are the signs they are crossing a concerning threshold of perfectionism? - We describe a helpful thought exercise you can try with your child today. WANT ADDITIONAL SUPPORT? 👉🏻 Click here to lean more about support options at Upshur Bren Psychology Group and to schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about learning style myths with Dr. Dan Willingham 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your child cope with anxiety with Dr. Terri Bacow WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Ep 280Codependency, insecure attachment, and relationship patterns: Creating stronger, healthier romantic partnerships with Alana Carvalho
How does attachment security relate to codependency? The Codependent Perfectionist, Alana Carvalho, LMHC, is here to explore just that! In this episode, we cover it all: - How does codependency fit into the attachment system? - Does this sound like what you're struggling with in your relationship? We're reviewing some of the most common challenges partners face when one person is more avoidant, and the other is more anxious. - Challenging perceptions of what is necessary in a relationship. When we see the world through dysfunctional patterns, we are often unaware of this dysfunction. - The differences between missatunement versus misperception and how understanding this difference can help us get on the same page on both! - A tangible exercise you can do with your partner to help you create a stronger dynamic (and why this works to not kick up a threat response, and helps them stay engaged in the conversation more successfully.) Whether you're struggling with relational patterns or looking to better understand your partner, this episode offers powerful insights and tools for cultivating healthier relationships. LEARN MORE ABOUT ALANA: https://www.alanacarvalho.com/ TAKE THE QUIZ: https://www.alanacarvalho.com/the-codependent-perfectionist-quiz/ READ ALANA'S BOOK: 📚 Raising Empowered Children: The Codependent Perfectionist's Guide to Parenting FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @thecodependentperfectionist @drsarahbren ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 🎧 Listen to Alana's first Securely Attached episode, Recognizing and overcoming codependency in parenthood CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with Dr. Miriam Steele 🎧 Can my kid be securely attached to me if I'm insecurely attached in my adult relationships? 🎧 Secure attachment is optimal, but insecure attachment may not be as bad as we think with Dr. Or Dagan
Ep 279Q&A: How can I maintain a relationship with my mom who has extremist political views?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about... - Breaking down the difference between having differing political view points versus someone having extremist views. - How the health of our relationships with our parents is often intertwined with our relationship with ourselves, our kids, and our entire family system. - How to manage feeling lost, un-seen, and destabilized when a parent shifts to being less of a secure attachment figure. - Does this change in your parent's views and values mean you have to throw out all the things you have learned from them that inform your approach to raising your own kids? - When it's best to try to compartmentalize things your parent might say, and when it's necessary to hold firm boundaries. - Learn Dr. Sarah's simple framework for setting and holding effective boundaries. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about setting boundaries with your in-laws 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering deep and meaningful realationshisp with Dr. Rick Hanson 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about mindfulness with Diana Winston WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Ep 278Music, mindfulness, and play: Using play to strengthen your child's secure attachment bond with Vered Benhorin
Music therapist Vered Benhorin is teaching parents how they can use play and music as powerful tools to strengthen connection, foster attachment, and make parenting feel a little easier. In this episode, we explore: - Why play is so important for emotional regulation, attachment, and connection—and how parents who don't naturally enjoy play can redefine what it looks like. - What are "Bubble Moments," and how can parents tap into these times throughout the day to deepen their relationship with their child? - How music impacts the brain, reinforcing neural networks that support routines, emotional regulation, and even executive functioning skills. - The science behind a "sing-song" voice and why it feels so regulating for both you and your child. - How to expand your definition of play to find activities that feel fun and authentic for you as a parent. Whether you're looking to strengthen your bond with your child, better understand attachment theory, or discover simple ways to use music and play to make parenting more joyful, this episode is packed with insights and practical advice you won't want to miss! LEARN MORE ABOUT VERED: https://www.babyintune.com/ READ VERED'S NEW BOOK: 📚 What Do I Do with My Baby All Day?!: Simple Ways to Have the Best First Year Together LISTEN TO VERED'S MUSIC: 🎵 Listen on Spotify ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Download my free guide, Strengthen Your Child's Emotion Regulation Skills Through Play, to help your child learn to calm their brains and bodies. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 How parents can use music as an emotion regulator with Vered Benhorin 🎧 Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with it, with Dr. Miriam Steele 🎧 A 10-year-old's take on starting a new school year, navigating friendships, and what he wants every parent to keep in mind
Ep 277Q&A: Is "nesting" during a divorce better for your kids?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about... - What does it mean to be "nesting" during a divorce? - What types of logistical and emotional factors to consider to help you determine if this is a good choice for your family. - What are the pros and cons of nesting for kids (and for you!) - How to help kids feel secure during a separation, whether you've decided to nest with your ex or not. - A script for helping your child understand the difference between love in a parent-child relationship and love in a romantic adult relationship. This distinction can help kids who may be worried that they will get left too. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode busting some common misconceptions about divorce with Michelle Dempsey-Multack 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting with a narcissist 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do after you and your partner have a big fight in front of your kids WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Ep 276The surprising science of sibling relationships: Why your kids fight and how to foster closeness with Dr. Jonathan Caspi
Sibling relationships are some of the longest-lasting and most influential relationships in our lives, but they're also filled with complexity. Dr. Jonathan Caspi, a renowned expert on sibling relationships, is breaking down the fascinating science behind sibling dynamics and sharing actionable advice for parents. In this episode we explore: - The surprising science behind why if you give two siblings and two strangers personality tests, the siblings wouldn't be any more similar than the strangers. - The importance of neutrality in parental interventions with siblings and how this can prevent feelings of favoritism and resentment. - Practical strategies for managing sibling conflict: Like what to say in the heat of the moment to support their problem-solving skills, what to focus on (and what to ignore) to build closeness and empathy, and how to know it's time to get involved vs. when to let them work it out themselves, and more! - How to respond if your child struggles when you bring a new baby home with methods that foster closeness and decrease rivalry. - Insider versus outsider status: How parents can unintentionally create sibling rivalry, and what to do instead. - The vital importance of parental regulation and how to stay calm when our "mama bear" instincts are triggered. Whether you're trying to navigate sibling squabbles, encourage connection, or simply understand the dynamics at play in your own family, this episode is packed with fascinating insights and practical tools you won't want to miss! LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. JONATHAN CASPI: https://siblingexpert.com/ READ DR. JONATHAN'S BOOK: 📚 Sibling Aggression: Assessment and Treatment FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @siblingexpert @drsarahbren ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: Research Study: Why are siblings so different? CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Understanding parental dysregulation: How to identify and manage your triggers with Dr. Amber Thornton 🎧 The science of "mom-rage" and how to use mindfulness as a tool for being less reactive with Diana Winston 🎧 Raising emotionally intelligent sons: Parenting boys to combat "toxic masculinity" with Ruth Whippman 🎧 Getting on the same page as your partner in parenting
Ep 275Q&A: How can I help my child learn to be patient when she wants my attention immediately?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about... - What is developmentally typical for 2-year-olds when it comes to manners and patience? - Understanding impulse control, joint attention, and attunement - and how to use these 3 things to help you know how to respond to your child when they are demanding your attention. - When to pause to validate your child's desire, and when it's okay to ignore their request. - How to help your child tolerate waiting (no matter how big their reaction is to being told they need to wait.) - How to collaboratively problem solve with your child to come up with strategies around what they CAN do to interrupt you when they need your attention. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting a toddler with the co-authors of the Terrific Toddlers series, Carol Zeavin and Rhona Silverbush 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about responding to your child who loses their cool when they get frustrated 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about appropriate consequences when your child doesn't listen to you 🎧 Listen to my podcast about how to keep your child from becoming a spoiled brat WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Ep 274The lifelong impact of early relationships: How secure attachment influences children's ability to make sense of their experiences and cope in the face of adversity with Dr. Alan Sroufe
What role do early attachment relationships play in shaping who we become? In this episode, Dr. Alan Sroufe, a pioneering researcher in attachment, shares decades of insights from his groundbreaking longitudinal study. Together we explore: - How Dr. Sroufe's research answered the question: Do early experiences leave a lasting legacy? - Why resilience isn't just about thriving in the face of adversity, but is deeply rooted in the strength of attachment relationships. - The importance of early relationships in helping children develop a sense of safety, positive self-worth, and durable relationships. - A hopeful message that attachment isn't fixed and that secure relationships in adolescence and adulthood can change developmental trajectories, even after challenging childhoods. - Why the quality, not quantity, of time with your child matters most (and what babies can teach us about connection). - How parents can help shape the meaning children make of their world and guide them through challenges with empathy. Dr. Sroufe's work shows that while early experiences are never erased, they're always building blocks for growth—and recovery is always possible. READ THE BOOK DR. ALAN'S RECOMMENDS PARENTS START WITH: 📚 A Compelling Idea: How We Become the Persons We Are ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Click HERE to download my free guide, The Four Pillars of Fostering Secure Attachment, helping you parent with a focus on attunement and trust. GET MY ON-DEMAND COURSE FOR PARENTING SENSITIVE CHILDREN: 👉🏻 Learn more about Parenting by Design, my guided program for increasing behavioral and emotional regulation in sensitive kids. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with it with Dr. Miriam Steele 🎧 Secure attachment is optimal, but insecure attachment may not be as bad as we think with Dr. Or Dagan 🎧 How to use the principles of attachment science to make parenting easier 🎧 Can my kid be securely attached to me if I'm insecurely attached in my adult relationships?