Securely Attached

Joining me this week is therapist and the author of the new book Millennial Menopause: Preparing for Perimenopause, Menopause, and Life's Next Period, Lauren A. Tetenbaum. Together we explore: - The perimenopause symptoms that often begin in your 30s and 40s, long before your period stops. - How hormonal changes affect your mood, identity, relationships, and sense of self — and why understanding this can be profoundly grounding. - Why perimenopause isn't just a "women's issue," but a family and cultural one, impacting partners, kids, and the emotional climate of a home. - How to talk to your kids (yes, including your sons!) about menstruation, menopause, and the full arc of reproductive life in ways that reduce shame and build empathy. - Practical strategies for navigating this transition, including how to advocate for yourself with healthcare providers, what kinds of support actually help, and how to build a mental health plan that works for your body and life. Our message is simple but powerful: when women understand what's happening in their bodies and get the support they deserve, they're able to move through this transition with more confidence, steadiness, and compassion for themselves and the people they love. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗The CounseLaur 📚Millennial Menopause: Preparing for Perimenopause, Menopause, and Life's Next Period 🎧 Balancing the load of parenthood: Becoming a team with your partner-in-parenting with Lauren A. Tetenbaum FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: 📱@thecounselaur 📱@drsarahbren ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 🔗 The Menopause Society CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the cycle of the female body, from puberty to perimenopause with Dr. Lauren Streicher 🎧Listen to the podcast episode about why boys and girls need different things with Michael Gurian 🎧Listen to my podcast episode about raising girls who know their worth with Kate Rope 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting boys to combat toxic masculinity with Ruth Whippman

We're doing something a little different on Beyond the Sessions this week! Instead of answering a listener question, Dr. Emily Upshur, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, and I are unpacking a fascinating (and slightly unsettling) study about how media exposure to traumatic events can affect our mental health—and what it means for us and our kids. In this episode, we talk about: - A study that found people who watched repeated news coverage about the Boston Marathon Bombing showed more markers of stress than some who were actually there. - Why constant exposure to distressing headlines can keep your nervous system stuck in fight-or-flight. - How past trauma and chronic stress can make us more vulnerable to media-induced anxiety. - What "orienting to safety" means and simple ways to help your brain (and your child's) return to calm. - How to talk to kids about scary news stories in age-appropriate, grounding ways. In a world where we're surrounded by 24/7 coverage of crisis and tragedy, this conversation will help you understand what's happening inside your brain and body and give you tools for focusing on building resilience and safety for your child. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 📚 Media's role in broadcasting acute stress following the Boston Marathon bombings ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parental dysregulation with Dr. Amber Thornton 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parental burnout 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to be intentional with your tech use with Catherine Price 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about motherhood as a millennial with Marcella Kelson WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

High-conflict divorce doesn't just end a marriage, it can shake your identity, your parenting, and your ability to feel grounded. Joining me to share guidance for parents at the beginning, in the thick of it, or still processing the aftermath is divorce coach Karen McMahon. Together we explore: - What defines a high-conflict parent and how this dynamic impacts families. - Why trying to change your ex keeps you stuck—and where your real power lies. - Practical strategies to co-parent effectively, even when cooperation feels impossible. - How to protect kids from the emotional "shrapnel" of conflict while staying grounded yourself. - How unresolved trauma and attachment patterns can influence who we choose as partners—and how to break those cycles. - The role of boundaries, support systems, and self-healing in transforming not just your divorce, but your identity moving forward. Whether you're in the midst of a high-conflict divorce or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers compassionate insight and practical tools to help you reclaim your confidence, protect your children, and move forward with grace. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/ 🎧 Journey Beyond Divorce Podcast 📞 Rapid Relief Call FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: 📱@journey_beyond_divorce 📱@drsarahbren ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 🔗 If you're currently in the midst of separation, moving forward after divorce, or adjusting to life post-split, Upshur Bren Psychology Group's weekly virtual Divorce Process Group for Women provides a safe space for women to process their emotions, gain support, and build strategies for moving forward. Visit https://upshurbren.com/group-womensdivorce or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn more. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧334. Divorce, custody & co-parenting: The legal considerations parents need to know with matrimonial attorney Lisa Zeiderman 🎧 42. Busting divorce myths and breaking down the true affect it has on children: A conversation with Michelle Dempsey-Multack 🎧 322. Navigating divorce or separation through a family systems approach: Preventative steps to reduce the risk of insecure attachment with Una Archer 🎧106. Recognizing and overcoming codependency in parenthood with Alana Carvalho 🎧 199. Q&A: What are strategies for co-parenting with a narcissist?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... - Why potty regressions can happen even years after a child is toilet trained. -Why getting to the root of your child's challenges — whether accidents stem from a medical issue or a psychological struggle — is key to finding the right approach and intervention. - What to do (and what not to do) when your child starts hiding accidents out of shame or embarrassment. - How to help your child take ownership and build confidence, without making them feel bad. - Practical tips for handling accidents at playdates, with friends, or in public, while preserving your child's dignity. This episode will help you make sense of what's behind potty regressions in older kids and offer practical, shame-free ways to support your child's body awareness, confidence, and emotional well-being. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with everything you need to know before you start potty training 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about bed wetting, constipation and pelvic health with Quiara Smith 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about interoception and the importance of helping kids connect body signals to emotions with OT Kelly Mahler WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Joining me this week is Dr. Peter Vermeulen, psychologist, author, and founder of Autism in Context. Peter has spent more than 35 years helping families, educators, and clinicians better understand autism and what it truly means to live a happy, meaningful life. Together we explore: - Why happiness and well-being deserve as much attention as therapies or interventions for autistic individuals - and what we can learn from autistic people who are thriving. - How reframing "stereotyped interests" as passions and talents can open doors to meaning, confidence, and even careers. - Why predictability is so essential for autistic children's sense of safety and how parents can build that into daily routines and relationships to foster a secure attachment bond. - Just like you feed your child before they get hangry, how parents can "pre-regulate" their child's nervous system throughout the day to prevent overload, meltdowns, and dysregulation. - Why autistic children absolutely do form attachments — and how differences in communication and perception can lead to misunderstandings in connection, not an absence of it. - Practical ways to nurture love and security (Spoiler: things like creating predictable rituals, using concrete symbols, establishing shared routines to strengthen your bond, and more!) Peter's message is both deeply compassionate and hopeful: autistic individuals are capable of happiness, love, and purpose — and when we meet them with curiosity and respect for how their brains see the world, we can help them build lives filled with meaning and joy. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://petervermeulen.be/ 🔗 Good Feeling Questionnaire 📚 Autism as Context Blindness 📚 Autism and The Predictive Brain FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: 📱@pedrovermeulen 📱@drsarahbren ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 🔗 Every child deserves to feel safe, understood, and supported — and every parent deserves a place to turn. At Upshur Bren Psychology Group, we offer a full continuum of autism services: diagnostic testing, individual therapy, and parent support groups for families raising children and young adults on the spectrum. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more about support options for you and your child. 🔗 Leo Kanner and autism: a 75-year perspective 🔗Attachment and Autism Spectrum Disorder (Without Intellectual Disability) During Middle Childhood: In Search of the Missing Piece CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about treating autism with a strength based approach with Dr. Lynn Kern Koegel 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about neurodiverse brains and sleep with Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about determining if a neuropsych evaluation is right for your child with Dr. Yael Rothman & Dr. Katia Fredriksen 🎧 Listen to my podcast episodes about Resources for Infant educarers with Deborah Carlisle Solomon

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode I talk about... - How to handle Halloween candy without guilt, power struggles, or micromanaging. - Strategies for finding that balance between restricting sweets while also allowing your child to enjoy the fun of the holiday. - Why your own food anxieties might be showing up more than you realize — and how not to pass them on. - How to use this as an opportunity to build trust, awareness, and healthy boundaries. - Practical ways to help kids build awareness, self-control, and a healthy relationship with food that lasts long after Halloween. If your feeling overwhelmed about just how you're going to approach trick-or-treating this year, this episode will help you cut through the noise, manage your own worries, and approach this holiday with more confidence. LEARN MORE ABOUT ME: Check out my website: drsarahbren.com Follow me on Instagram: @drsarahbren REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 📚 Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense by Ellyn Satter 🎧 Collaboration over control: Using Collaborative Problem Solving to navigate power struggles, tantrums, and challenging behaviors with Dr. Stuart Ablon 🔗Watch my ✨FREE✨ workshop, Overcoming Power Struggles, where I'll teach you the exact strategies I use in my clinical practice to help parents break free from the cycle of yelling, threats, and negotiations—and instead foster cooperation, connection, and calm. Just visit drsarahbren.com/powerstruggles to get instant access to this workshop. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how can I help your child feel less scared of Halloween? 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to know if you're giving in too much and becoming permissive 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do if you have a kid who would never stop eating if you don't restrict their food intake WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Joining me this week is Jessica Baum, licensed mental health counselor, relationship expert, and author of the new book SAFE: Coming Home to Yourself and Others. Together we explore: - How insecure attachment patterns form in childhood and continue to shape how we show up as adults and parents. - Why parents with a history of insecure attachment may find themselves more easily triggered by their children. - The difference between awareness and healing, and why insight alone isn't enough to create real change. - How to repair attachment wounds by learning to regulate your own nervous system. - What the "Wheel of Attachment" reveals about the fluid, nuanced nature of our attachment patterns. - How doing your own inner work can transform not just your relationships, but the emotional security you pass down to your kids. If you've ever wondered why you react the way you do or how to stop repeating painful relational cycles, this conversation will help you understand what's happening beneath the surface and give you hope that true, lasting healing is possible. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗https://jessicabaumlmhc.com/interview 📚Safe: An Attachment-Informed Guide to Building More Secure Relationships 📚Anxiously Attached: Becoming More Secure in Life and Love 🔗 Conscious Relationship Group FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: 📱IG: @jessicabaumlmhc, FB: Conscious Relationship Group, LinkedIn: Jessica Baum, LMHC, CAP 📱@drsarahbren ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 🔗 Interested in learning more about attachment science? Go to drsarahbren.com/secure to download my free guide, The Four Pillars of Fostering Secure Attachment, helping you parent with a focus on attunement and trust. 📚 The Heart of Trauma: Healing the Embodied Brain in the Context of Relationships 🔗 What is conscious parenting? CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode breaking down the basics of attachment theory (this is a great place to start!) 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about codependency, insecure attachment, and relationship patterns with Alana Carvalho 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode whether or not insecure attachment is really as bad as we think with attachment researcher Dr. Or Dagan 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to break the cycle of generational trauma and insecure attachment patterns with Dr. Miriam Steele

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about... - Why some kids, especially sensitive kids, get dysregulated all over again when parents calmly try to talk about what happened later. - How shame can get triggered in your child, even when you're trying to be gentle and supportive. - What to do when "teaching moments" keep turning into meltdowns. - Why focusing on the before (not the after) of a hard moment can make all the difference. - Practical ways to help your child build self-control, handle frustration, and practice new skills without reactivating big emotions. If you've ever thought, "I waited until she was calm… why is she losing it again?" this episode will help you understand what's really going on beneath the surface and give you fresh, compassionate strategies to help your child learn and grow. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 🔗 Go to drsarahbren.com/discipline to download my free guide on effectively disciplining your child with strategies that don't utilize shame or guilt - but still work to get your child to behave! 👉🏻 Learn more about Parenting by Design, my guided program for increasing behavioral and emotional regulation in sensitive kids. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping "Big Reactors" learn to regulate and manage their intense emotions with Claire Lerner 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about disciplining your sensitive child with Dr. Vanessa Lapointe 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about supporting a child a sensitive child 🎧Listen to my podcast episode about preventing burnout when you have a sensitive child WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Joining me this week is Devon Kuntzman, the author of the brand-new book Transforming Toddlerhood: How to Go From Surviving to Thriving in the Toddler Years. Devon is here to talk about what's really going on beneath the surface of those big toddler behaviors—and how parents can respond with calm, confidence, and connection. Together we explore: Why those "challenging" toddler behaviors (like tantrums, hitting, and defiance) are actually developmentally appropriate—and what they're communicating. How to shift from punishment to teaching, and use discipline as a tool for learning rather than control. The meaning behind Devon's concept of developmentally smart parenting and how it helps you set firm but kind limits. Practical tools for staying grounded and patient during your child's biggest meltdowns. How to step out of power struggles without giving up your authority. Why your calm, confident presence is the most powerful parenting strategy you have. Whether you're deep in the toddler trenches or preparing for this next stage, this conversation will help you see your child's behavior through a new lens—and bring more confidence, connection, and compassion into your parenting. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://www.transformingtoddlerhood.com/ 📚 Transforming Toddlerhood: How to Handle Tantrums, End Power Struggles, and Raise Resilient Kids—Without Losing Your Mind FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: 📱@transformingtoddlerhood 📱@drsarahbren CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 94. Toddler sleep: Why it's different than infant sleep and how to use the attachment relationship to help them fall asleep, with Eileen Henry 🎧 90. Seeing the world through your toddler's eyes: Helping your child feel seen, understood, and validated with the co-authors of the Terrific Toddlers series 🎧 209. How can I get my toddler to share and play nicely with other kids? 🎧 231. BTS: How can I build my toddler's assertiveness skills?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about... - Why Halloween can feel scary for preschoolers and what's happening developmentally as they work through the difference between what's real and pretend. - Strategies you can use to help your child feel safe and confident around spooky decorations, costumes, and trick-or-treating. - A simple tip you can start doing now to help your child understand that masks and costumes are just pretend. - How to prepare your child ahead of time with coping strategies for when something feels too scary in the moment. - How to know when it may be appropriate to gently stretch your child's comfort zone and when to call it a night. If your little one is nervous about ghosts, monsters, or just the noise and chaos of Halloween night, this episode will help you turn spooky season into a playful, confidence-building experience for your child and a less stressful one for you. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions with Dr. Eli Lebowitz 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about building your child's resilience 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about supporting your child's emotional growth and regulation with Dr. Kristen Lindquist WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Joining me this week is Kate Rope. We're talking about how parents can raise daughters who feel strong, capable, and deeply connected to themselves, while also supporting our own mental health as parents. Together we explore: - How to parent from hope (rather than fears) and why this can help your child feel safer, more capable, and resilient. - How identifying your family's "North Star values" can guide you through tough parenting decisions. - The deceptively simple, yet powerful shift of pausing and listening before reacting. - Practical ways to nurture assertiveness, support healthy friendships, and help girls trust their inner voice. - Why our own self-care and modeling are essential to raising strong, emotionally secure kids. - How to create everyday opportunities for girls to practice autonomy, confidence, and consent. Whether you're raising a daughter or simply want to strengthen the emotional wellbeing of the kids in your care, this conversation is filled with insight, validation, and real-life strategies you can start using right away. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗https://katerope.com/ 📚Strong As a Girl: Your Guide to Raising Girls Who Know, Stand Up for, and Take Care of Themselves 📚Strong As a Mother: How to Stay Healthy, Happy, and (Most Importantly) Sane from Pregnancy to Parenthood: The Only Guide to Taking Care of YOU! 💻 https://katerope.substack.com/ FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: 📱@kateropewriter 📱@drsarahbren ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 🔗 Want to learn more about therapy and coaching resources at Upshur Bren 🔗 Want to learn more about therapy and coaching at Upshur Bren Psychology Group? Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 304. Stress, screens, shifting hormones, and early puberty: Why parenting 6-12 year olds is more important now than ever with Dr. Sheryl Ziegler 🎧286. Empowering girls to navigate media, body image, and societal pressures with Dr. Jo-Ann Finkelstein 🎧146. The hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace 🎧 108. How to talk so your teen will listen (plus lay the groundwork for this when they're little) with Elizabeth Bennett

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about... - The difference between executive function coaching and academic tutoring, and how to decide which is right for your child. - Practical systems and routines (like planners, folders, and structured study spaces) that you can implement yourself to help your child stay on top of assignments. - How to co-create routines and systems with your child that build independence and make them more likely to stick with it. - When to consider a neuropsychological evaluation for your child—and how identifying whether challenges stem from ADHD, learning differences, or executive functioning deficits can help you target the right supports to strengthen their skills. - How parents can support their child without overwhelming them or stretching family resources too thin. Understanding the difference between executive function coaching and tutoring can make all the difference in getting your child the support they truly need. This episode will help you feel confident and informed as you decide what's right for your family. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 🔹 If your child struggles with organization, planning, or follow-through, executive function support can make a huge difference. At Upshur Bren Psychology Group, we offer in-person and virtual coaching nationwide. Visit upshurbren.com/executive-function-coaching to learn more or schedule a free consult call to find the right support for your child. 🔹 Wondering if a Neuropsychological Evaluation could help clarify your child's challenges? Visit upshurbren.com/neuropsychological-testing to learn more about the services we offer at Upshur Bren Psychology Group, or schedule a quick, free call to talk through your child's unique needs and explore the best next steps. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about determining if a Neuropsych Evaluation is right for your child with Dr. Yael Rothman & Dr. Katia Fredriksen 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how technology in schools impacts learning, child development, and mental health with Andy Liddell 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why boys and girls need different things with Michael Gurian WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Joining me is Dr. Stephen Porges, one of the most influential voices in modern neuroscience and the creator of Polyvagal Theory, the framework that has transformed how we understand safety, connection, and emotional regulation. Together we explore: - How Polyvagal Theory emerged and how it builds upon attachment theory to explain our biological need for safety and connection. - The science behind our "gut feelings," and how the body reflexively detects safety and threat in our environment. - Why hypersensitivities can cause us to misread others' intentions and what this reveals about our own physiological state. - Why thinking in circular patterns rather than cause-and-effect can transform how we interpret behavior. - Why so many parenting strategies fall flat when a child's nervous system is in a defensive state, and practical ways to reshape these moments to be more effective. - The hopeful truth that the nervous system is flexible and how "retuning" it can repair patterns of stress and disconnection. Dr. Porges's groundbreaking research offers a powerful new lens for understanding the human condition, revealing how our nervous system shapes behavior and influences the way we relate to our children, our partners, and ourselves. At its core, it's a reminder that beneath all our words and actions lies a shared biological need to feel safe, seen, and connected. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://www.polyvagalinstitute.org/ 🔗 https://www.whatisthessp.com/ ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 📚 Our Polyvagal World: How Safety and Trauma Change Us by Stephen W. Porges PhD and Seth Porges 🎧 Unlocking the power of polyvagal theory: Using the nervous system to wire our children for resilience with Seth Porges 👉 Click HERE for my workshop, Be the Calm in Your Child's Storm: How to Keep Your Cool When Your Child Loses Theirs, to get the exact therapeutic interventions I use with my patients that can change the way your brain and body interprets your child's dysregulation to help you stay cool in the heat of the moment. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Parenting highly sensitive kids: Helping "Big Reactors" learn to regulate and manage their intense emotions with Claire Lerner 🎧 Teaching children emotion regulation skills through coregulation with Dana Rosenbloom 🎧 Using presence as the antidote to trauma: How we begin to break cycles with Dr. Jacob Ham

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... - How to stay connected to your older children while caring for a baby in the NICU. - Why consistency, rituals, and transitional objects can help kids feel secure when routines are disrupted. - Creative ways to maintain a sense of closeness, even when you can't physically be present. - How to involve siblings in bonding with the new baby from afar. - Why it's okay to give yourself grace and lean on support systems during this stressful time. If you've ever worried about balancing the needs of multiple children during a family crisis, this episode offers compassionate guidance and practical strategies to help your older kids feel loved, supported, and secure—even when life pulls you in different directions. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 🎧NICU Survival Guide with the founders of NICU Nook, Dr. Stephanie Simon and Amanda Neilan 📚 Growing Families: Helping Children Cope with a New Sibling CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how "mom brain" can be our greatest strength, not our biggest weakness with Dr. Nicole Pensak 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about processing birth trauma with Dr. Sterling 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about maternal health and Internal Family Systems with Rebecca Geshuri and Paige Bellenbaum WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

In this episode, OT and interoception expert Kelly Mahler uncovers the 8th sense and dives into how interoception plays such a foundational role in children's ability to regulate their bodies, emotions, and behaviors. Together, we discuss: - What interoception is and how it impacts everything from toileting and eating to emotional regulation and social connection. - Why some kids struggle to notice or interpret their body's signals and how this can show up as meltdowns, anxiety, or difficulties with attention. - Practical, relational strategies parents can use at home to help kids strengthen interoceptive awareness through play, modeling, and curiosity. - How occupational therapy can support children's sensory and emotional development beyond (spoiler: it's more than improving just handwriting or fine motor skills). If you've ever wondered why your child seems to go from 0 to 100 in seconds, or why calming strategies don't always seem to "stick," this conversation will give you new insights and tools to help your child build lifelong regulation skills from the inside out. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://www.kelly-mahler.com/ 📚 The Interoception Curriculum 📱 Join the Interoception: The Eighth Sensory System Facebook Group FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: 📱 @kelly_mahler 📱@drsarahbren ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉 Want games specifically designed for fostering emotion regulation? Go to drsarahbren.com/games to get my free guide packed with games you can play with kids of all ages! CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about emotion regulation during the middle years with Alyssa Blask Campbell 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about sensory sensitivity with The OT Butterfly Laura Petix 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about polyvagal theory with Seth Porges

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... Are there different "rules" when disciplining kids with a neurodiverse condition, like autism, if they act aggressively toward your child? The difference between protecting your child and overstepping another parent's role. Practical, respectful ways to set boundaries with kids who aren't yours. How to manage playdates so everyone feels safe, supported, and set up for success. Why parents' "thresholds" for conflict differ, and how to navigate those differences with compassion. The value of open communication (with other parents and your own child) in tricky social dynamics. If you've ever found yourself unsure about intervening when someone else's child crosses a line, this episode offers clear guidance, empathy, and strategies to help you respond with confidence while keeping all kids safe REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 🔗 Want to learn more about therapy and coaching at Upshur Bren Psychology Group? Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering secure attachment in your child's peer relationships with Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about neurodivergent brains and sleep with Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about treating autism with a strength based approach with Dr. Lynn Kern Koegel WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Joining me is Ash Brandin, educator and author of Power On: Managing Screen Time to Benefit the Whole Family. Ash brings a fresh, nonjudgmental perspective to how families can navigate technology with intention and respect. Together we explore: - Why the "less is better" approach to screens often creates guilt and power struggles, plus a strategy that is more effective. - How to use Ash's "ABCs of screen time" framework (access, behavior, and content) to make intentional choices that meet everyone's needs. - The importance of respect and collaboration in setting screen boundaries (and boundaries in general) which help kids learn to be active participants, not passive rule-followers. - How video games are a form of play that, used intentionally, can build autonomy, resilience, and connection. - Practical strategies to help kids notice their internal states, regulate emotions, and transfer those skills beyond screens. Whether you're navigating video games, phones, or family movie nights, this conversation offers practical tools and a compassionate perspective to help your whole family build a healthier relationship with technology. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://www.thegamereducator.com/ 📚 Power On: Managing Screen Time to Benefit the Whole Family 📚 The Gamer Educator Substack FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: 📱@thegamereducator 📱@drsarahbren ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 🔗 I'm so excited to be partnering with PokPok to offer you an exclusive discount. You'll get 25% off, plus a 7-day free trial to see how it works for your family. Go to drsarahbren.com/pokpok and introduce your child to screen time that feels more like playtime. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about regulation and screen time with Alé Duarte 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about EdTech with Andy Liddell 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how smartphones really affect kids' mental health with Dr. Wendy Rote 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about battling over screen time with The Screentime Consultant Emily Cherkin

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... Why your child may not calm down, even when you lead with empathy and connection. How to redefine what it means for a strategy to "work" in the heat of the moment. The role of patience and presence when your child's nervous system just isn't ready to shift. Why successful co-regulation doesn't always mean a calm child. How to disengage without disconnecting—and why that can sometimes be the most effective approach. Practical ways to support yourself so you can stay regulated when your child isn't. If you've ever tried "all the right things" and still found yourself stuck with a child who can't calm down, this episode will help you feel validated, supported, and grounded in what you can (and can't) control. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 👉 Want games specifically designed for fostering emotion regulation? Go to drsarahbren.com/games to get my free guide packed with games you can play with kids of all ages! ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the psychology of dysregulation with Cara Goodwin 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about using coregulation with Dana Rosenbloom 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about raising emotionally resilient children with Dr. Kristen Lindquist WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Parenting in the middle years (ages 5–12) comes with big feelings, new social pressures, and challenges parents don't always see coming. Alyssa Blask Campbell, author of the new book, Big Kids, Bigger Feelings, joins me this week to unpack the emotional, social, and developmental shifts of the middle years. Together we explore: The ninth sense: neuroception. How this rarely talked about sense shapes kids' feelings of safety, belonging, and regulation. What it means to support kids based on their unique nervous system and sensory profile (and why one-size-fits-all strategies don't work). How to replace control with curiosity to strengthen connection and reduce conflict. The role of social belonging, identity, and "fitting in" during the elementary years—and why what feels small to us can feel huge to them. Practical tools for navigating anxiety, dysregulation, and big feelings in ways that foster resilience and confidence. Big kids really do have bigger feelings—and this episode will leave you with fresh insights, concrete strategies, and a sense of clarity as you support your child through these transformative years. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://www.seedandsew.org/ 🎧 Listen to the Voices of your Village podcast 🤔 Take the Seed and Sew Regulation Questionnaire - seedquiz.com 📚Tiny Humans, Big Emotions: How to Navigate Tantrums, Meltdowns, and Defiance to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Children 📚 Big Kids, Bigger Feelings: Navigating Defiance, Meltdowns, and Anxiety to Raise Confident, Connected Kids 🎧 140. How understanding our child's sensory sensitivities can help us strength their emotional intelligence with Alyssa Blask Campbell FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: 📱@seed.and.sew 📱@drsarahbren REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Want games specifically designed for fostering emotion regulation? Go to drsarahbren.com/games to get my free guide packed with games you can play with kids of all ages! ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Polyvagal Theory and using the nervous system to wire our children for resilience with Seth Porges 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about understanding sensory sensitivities with occupational therapist Laura Petix 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions with Dr. Eli Lebowitz 🎧Listen to my podcast episode about school refusal with Dr. Erica Miller

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... Why intentionality and authenticity are the most important tools when building new relationships with kids. How to manage nerves, regulate your own emotions, and follow the children's lead so the interaction feels natural and comfortable. Practical strategies for structuring the first meeting (think short, sweet, semi-structured, and supervised) to set everyone up for success. How to consider the larger family context, including co-parenting dynamics and whether a conversation with the children's dad could be helpful. Why keeping expectations realistic and aiming simply for "they'd like to see me again" can take the pressure off and allow genuine connection to grow over time. Whether you're stepping into a blended family yourself, supporting a partner who is, or just curious about how kids adjust to new relationships, this episode offers insight, validation, and practical takeaways to make those first meetings a little less daunting—and a lot more positive! REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Interested in joining a weekly virtual support group for women navigating divorce? Led by an experienced therapist, this group offers a safe space to process emotions, gain support, and build strategies for moving forward. To learn more or join the waitlist, visit upshurbren.com/group-womensdivorce or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to see if this group is the right fit for you. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode busting myths about divorce with Michelle Dempsey-Multack 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to navigate divorce or separation while prioritizing secure attachment with Una Archer 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether or not you want to choose to "nest" during separations WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Joining me is Dr. Stuart Ablon, a psychologist, Harvard Medical School professor, founder and director of Think:Kids at Massachusetts General Hospital, and author of several books, including Changeable: How Collaborative Problem Solving Changes Lives at Home, at School, and at Work. Together we explore: Why kids' struggles are more about lagging skills than lack of motivation. The importance of empathy, co-regulation, and relationship-building in reducing conflict. The 3 "plans" parents can choose from when kids aren't meeting expectations—and how to use them effectively. How Collaborative Problem Solving offers a structured yet compassionate alternative to "tough love" or "gentle parenting." Practical ways to use this approach proactively and in the heat of the moment. How practicing this method not only improves behavior, but also fosters resilience, flexibility, and stronger parent–child bonds. Whether you're a parent, teacher, or clinician, this conversation offers practical tools and a fresh perspective to help you support kids with understanding, structure, and collaboration LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://www.stuartablon.com/ 🔗 https://thinkkids.org/ 📚 Changeable: How Collaborative Problem Solving Changes Lives at Home, at School, and at Work 💻 Tedx Talk FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: 📱@thinkkidscps 📱@drsarahbren ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉 Dr. Ablon has generously shared an amazing parenting resource with us. Visit https://thinkkids.org/Self-Paced-Courses/Parent-Caregiver-Course/ and use Code: SecurelyAttached to get access to this course for ✨FREE✨ Available in both English and Spanish. 💥 Tired of constant battles with your child? Watch my ✨FREE✨ workshop, Overcoming Power Struggles, where I'll teach you the exact strategies I use in my clinical practice to help parents break free from the cycle of yelling, threats, and negotiations—and instead foster cooperation, connection, and calm. Just visit drsarahbren.com/powerstruggles to get instant access to this workshop. 📚 The Explosive Child: A New Approach For Understanding And Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 328. The neuroscience of raising emotionally resilient kids: Supporting your child's emotional growth and regulation with Dr. Kristen Lindquist 🎧24. The psychology behind dysregulation with founder of Parenting Translator Cara Goodwin 🎧06. Teaching children emotion regulation skills through coregulation with Dana Rosenbloom 🎧318. The neuroscience of control: Helping kids cope with stress and become self-driven with Dr. William Stixrud

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about... How to step back and figure out if (and when!) you're interfering in your child's play. Practical strategies to set up your home environment so independent play can actually thrive. The surprising "sweet spot" number of toys that leads to longer, more engaging play. What a "yes space" is—and how it can support your child's growth through play. How to set realistic expectations, and what to do if you're looking for a balance between being fully uninvolved and slightly engaged. The difference between "alone play" and "independent play." What are the best toys and activities that actually encourage independent play (and how to tell if a toy is worth it). The developmental tasks by age that you can lean on to foster longer stretches of play. If you've ever wondered how to encourage your child to play on their own (without guilt, overwhelm, or resorting to endless screen time), this episode is packed with perspective, validation, and practical tools to help you get there. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 🔗 RAD Furniture (R.A.D. Children's Furniture) - Dr. Sarah's favorite place to get Pikler triangles and other play furniture for incouraging gross motor development 🔗 MakeDo – Dr. Sarah's go-to birthday gift, open-ended construction tools (screws, saws, screwdrivers, etc.) for building 🔗 Magna-Tiles – Both Dr. Sarah and Dr. Emily's kids love these magnetic building tiles (pro tip: put a bin with these on the floor to make them easier for kids to access on their own!) 🔗 Doctor's Kit Play Set, Vet's Kit Play Set, and Cleaning Play Set - Toys that help them play with and work through concepts from their own life ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode answering the question, is there a wrong way to encourage independent play? 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering independent play with The Workspace for Children's Lizzie Assa 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the benefits of play with Jennie Monness 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to use a RIE (Resources for Infant Educarers) approach in your parenting with Janet Lansbury 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the importance of play for adults and using it as a tool to prevent burnout with Mike Rucker WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Most of us got the puberty talk—but almost no one got the menopause talk. It's time to change that. And Dr. Lauren Streicher is here this week to do just that! Together we explore: Why menopause is a whole-body experience, not just "hot flashes and periods stopping." What perimenopause actually is, when it starts, and why the definition of menopause itself is outdated. How mood changes, anxiety, and sleep issues are often hormone-driven—and why SSRIs aren't always the right first step. Why shame and secrecy around menopause and sexuality have left so many women in the dark. How to talk to our daughters (and sons!) about the full reproductive life cycle from puberty through menopause, without stigma or shame. The difference between misinformation online and evidence-based solutions—and red flags to watch for when seeking care. What questions to ask your doctor to know if they're truly menopause-informed. Why preparing before symptoms begin can empower women to feel confident, validated, and supported in midlife and beyond. Menopause is so much more than the stereotypes we've been taught and this episode will leave you with clarity, tools, and a sense of empowerment to navigate this transition with confidence. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://www.drstreicher.com/ 📚 https://drstreicher.substack.com/ 🎧 Dr. Streicher's Inside Information: Menopause, Midlife, and More FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: 📱@drstreich 📱@drsarahbren ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 🔗 https://menopause.org/ 📚 https://vajenda.substack.com/ 📚 https://drstreicher.substack.com/p/cherry-picking 👉 Are you navigating the emotional or identity shifts that come with menopause—or any of life's big transitions? At Upshur Bren Psychology Group, we specialize in helping women feel grounded, supported, and empowered during times of change. Whether you're struggling with mood, identity, relationships, or simply the uncertainty of "what's next," we're here to help. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more about support options or schedule a free consultation call so we can share recommendations for a personalized plan to meet your unique needs. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧226. Pelvic care, energetic healing, and body wisdom: Taking a holistic approach to women's health with Tami Lynn Kent 🎧 80. How a sex therapist strives to raise her children to be sex positive: Unpacking developmentally appropriate expectations, boundaries, body autonomy, and consent with Dr. Holly Richmond 🎧36. Maternal mental health throughout pregnancy and parenthood with birth doula Carson Meyer 🎧150. Bridging ancient wisdom and modern science with yoga therapist Nicole Katz

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... Whether it's developmentally normal for kids to start asking about death—even when there hasn't been a recent loss. How much our own histories with grief, trauma, and cultural beliefs shape the way we respond when those questions come up. Why using euphemisms like "went to sleep forever" or unclear statements like "passed away" may actually create more anxiety for children instead of comfort. How to find the balance between honesty and reassurance when the questions feel bigger than the answers. Why kids sometimes ask the same hard questions over and over—and what they might really be seeking. What to make of it when a child doesn't seem to feel the weight and seriousness of death. If your child has ever asked "Are you going to die?" and left you speechless, this episode offers perspective, validation, and concrete tools to help you navigate these profound conversations with calm and compassion. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 👉 Are you coping with grief and loss, or looking for parenting support to help you navigate tough conversations like the ones we discussed in this episode? Visit upshurbren.com to learn about the therapy and coaching services at Upshur Bren Psychology Group or CLICK HERE to schedule a free call to connect with a member of our care team about your family's unique needs. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to Part 1 and Part 2 of my podcast episodes about navigating conversations about death with Rabbi Steve Leder 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about processing death with death doula Heather Hogan 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about supporting a grieving child with Dr. Dan Wolfson Y WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Claire Lerner joins me to talk about how we can best support "big reactors" — highly sensitive children who experience the world with heightened intensity, passion, and emotion. Together we explore: Why trying to "change" a child often backfires — and why shifting our own approach can spark real change. How to recognize when your child's explosive behavior is driven by overwhelm, rigidity, or a need for control. The difference between masking and thriving, and why kids may act very differently at home than at school. What it means to be your child's "rock" during meltdowns and how to hold limits without fueling the fire, How to create structure and predictability that helps sensitive kids feel safe and more flexible. Why consistency matters more than quick results — and what to expect before things get better. Practical, real-life strategies for navigating transitions, setting boundaries, and reducing daily battles. Whether you're parenting a highly sensitive child or you just want to strengthen your connection and reduce the chaos at home, this conversation will give you validation, hope, and tangible tools to help your child — and your whole family — thrive. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://www.lernerchilddevelopment.com/ 📚 Big Reactors: Practical Strategies for Parenting Highly Sensitive Children FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: 📱 @lernerchilddevelopment 📱 @drsarahbren ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉 Click HERE for my workshop, Be the Calm in Your Child's Storm: How to Keep Your Cool When Your Child Loses Theirs, to get the exact therapeutic interventions I use with my patients that can change the way your brain and body interprets your child's dysregulation to help you stay cool in the heat of the moment. 👉 Want to get my research-backed framework for increasing cooperation and emotion regulation skills in your sensitive child? Check out Parenting by Design, my guided program to help you parent your unique child in a way that increases cooperation, defuses power struggles, and rebuilds their trust in your authority–all while supporting your child's mental health and your own. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 129. Q&A: How can I support my sensitive, "spicy," highly emotional child? 🎧 135. Q&A: What can I do when all the "rules" for setting limits don't work for my sensitive kid? 🎧 173. Q&A: Preventing burnout when you have a sensitive child

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about... Why sleep challenges often emerge around age 3 (Hint: developmental leaps, dropped naps, and growing imaginations all play a role). How to differentiate between bedtime battles, middle-of-the-night wake-ups, and nightmares—and why the strategies might look different for each. Practical ways to set limits and routines with confidence so kids feel safe and contained, rather than running the show. Special considerations for twins, including when it might make sense to separate them temporarily at night. How to care for yourself as a parent during exhausting phases, so you can show up with more calm and confidence. If bedtime has turned into a nightly struggle in your home, this episode offers validation, perspective, and concrete tools to help everyone get a little more rest. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 😴 Struggling with toddler bedtime battles? Download my ✨FREE✨ Toddler Sleep Guide with 7 concrete strategies backed by peer-reviewed research and anecdotally tested in my own practice, that you can implement with your children today to turn your bedtime struggles into solutions. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about getting your child to stay in their own bed with Eileen Henry 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about using your attachment relationship to help your toddler fall asleep with Eileen Henry 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting multiples with Kristin Revere WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Family law attorney and certified divorce financial analyst Lisa Zeiderman joins me to talk about how parents can navigate separation, divorce, and custody decisions with clarity, confidence, and a focus on their child's well-being. Together we explore: The different legal pathways for separation and divorce (including mediation, collaborative law, and litigation) and how to determine which may be right for your family. Common dynamics that can make self-advocacy harder, such as power imbalances, high-conflict relationships, or emotional manipulation. What it means to "foster" a relationship between your child and their other parent—and why courts prioritize this. How to set your child up for emotional success, even when the co-parenting relationship is strained. Tangible behaviors that courts (and kids!) recognize as supporting healthy co-parenting. Ways to support your child's sense of voice and agency throughout the process—whether that's through therapy, routines, or even court-appointed advocates. Resources and recommendation of support systems and products that can help parents co-parent more effectively. Whether you're already in the thick of it or just starting to consider what the future may hold, this conversation offers guidance and grounding for navigating family transitions with thoughtfulness and care. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://lisazeiderman.com/ 📚 https://lisazeiderman.com/blog/ ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉 If you're currently in the midst of separation, moving forward after divorce, or adjusting to life post-split, Upshur Bren Psychology Group's weekly virtual Divorce Process Group for Women provides a safe space for women to process their emotions, gain support, and build strategies for moving forward. Visit https://upshurbren.com/group-womensdivorce or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn more. 🔗 Our Family Wizard - The leading app for more peaceful co‑parenting CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 42. Busting divorce myths and breaking down the true affect it has on children: A conversation with Michelle Dempsey-Multack 🎧 322. Navigating divorce or separation through a family systems approach: Preventative steps to reduce the risk of insecure attachment with Una Archer 🎧 277. Q&A: Is "nesting" during a divorce better for your kids?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... Whether or not to address a racial slur your child heard in a song when you're not sure whether or not they picked up on it, and fear you may call attention to it unnecessarily. How to explain the difference between swearing and slurs, and the importance of giving kids context and language around both. Dr. Rebecca shares stories of how similar topics have come up in her own family and how she handled them with her kids. Why just saying "don't say it" can miss the mark for kids. The role of tone, timing, and developmental stage when introducing complex and sensitive topics. How to make it feel safe to make mistakes and learn from them ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when your child is swearing 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about bias, cultural identity, and diversity with Dr. Dana E. Crawford 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting styles across cultures with Dr. Miguelina German WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Becoming a grandparent is a major shift and yet, it's rarely talked about in a way that honors the complexity of this role. In this episode, I'm joined by Carol Merle-Fishman to explore the emotional, psychological, and relational shifts that occur when someone becomes a grandparent and how this transition can impact the entire family system. Together we unpack: Why grandparenthood is actually a developmental stage of its own. How expectations, unspoken grief, and shifting identities can create tension or disconnection in relationships. Ways adult children can support their parents and in-laws through the grandparenting transition and how grandparents can honor and respect their children's wishes. How to set boundaries with empathy and clarity while nurturing strong multigenerational bonds. The importance of emotional reflection for grandparents navigating this new chapter of life. Whether you're preparing to become a grandparent, are already in this role, or are a parent looking to better understand and support the grandparents in your life, this episode will offer a compassionate and practical lens for navigating this powerful and often overlooked transition. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://carolmerlefishman.com/ 🎧 104. Becoming a grandparent: Embracing the complicated identity shifts that come when your baby has a baby with Carol Merle Fishman ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Becoming a grandparent can bring up big emotions and big questions. Go to upshurbren.com/becomingagrandparent to download my free interactive workbook, Reflecting on Grandparenthood, to help you process the identity shifts, set healthy boundaries, and navigate this transition with clarity, compassion, and confidence. Or forward this episode along to the grandparents in your life. 🔗 https://www.morethangrand.com/ CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 89. Fostering deep and meaningful relationships: How to resolve conflict, prioritize our needs, and set appropriate boundaries with Dr. Rick Hanson 🎧 102. Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with Dr. Miriam Steele 🎧 52. Setting boundaries with your parents and in-laws: Navigating family dynamics with Dr. Emily Upshur 🎧 279. Q&A: How can I maintain a relationship with my mom who has extremist political views?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... What to do if your child is assigned a teacher whose style may not seem like the best match. How to advocate for your child in a way that supports collaboration and avoids conflict. Why starting the school year with a proactive email to the teacher can set the tone for a strong partnership. The surprising benefits a strict or "old school" teacher might actually offer sensitive kids. How to prepare your child to advocate for themselves, build resilience, and navigate new classroom dynamics. What to do if things don't go as hoped—and how to intervene effectively if your child truly isn't thriving in the classroom. If you're feeling anxious about the upcoming school year and unsure how to support your child through a potentially tricky teacher match, this episode will help you feel more grounded, empowered, and ready to approach it with openness and confidence. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Do you have a sensitive child? Learn more about Parenting by Design, my guided program for increasing behavioral and emotional regulation in sensitive kids. 👉🏻 Learn more about how a one-time or short-term parenting coaching session at Upshur Bren Psychology Group can help you navigate back-to-school transitions, teacher mismatches, and other challenges. You can also schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the right support for your family's unique needs by going to upshurbren.com/calendar. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what it feels like to be a 10-year-old going back to school 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why boys and girls need different things with Michael Gurian 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the myth of learning styles with Dr. Dan Willingham 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when your child refuses to go to school 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Psychiatrist, author, and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) expert Dr. Blaise Aguirre joins me to talk about how we can help kids—especially emotionally sensitive ones—understand, process, and reframe internalized messages of self-criticism and even self-hatred. Together we explore: Why even well-loved and supported kids can develop a sense of being "unlovable" How emotional sensitivity can make children more vulnerable to misattunement, comparisons, and internalized shame The difference between skills-based therapy (like DBT) and addressing the deeper emotional roots of suicidality and self-loathing What parents can do in the "before, during, and after" of tough parenting moments to promote co-regulation and connection Why simply telling a child they are wonderful may backfire—and what to say instead How to recognize if your child is living in a distorted self-narrative, and how to gently interrupt that cycle Practical strategies for helping kids build emotional awareness, distress tolerance, and a more compassionate self-concept Why your own nervous system regulation is essential—and how DBT teaches us to regulate before we reflect Whether your child is currently struggling with self-esteem or you just want to shore them up now to minimize this risk in the future, this episode will leave you with powerful insights and tangible tools for helping them feel seen, supported, and deeply understood. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://www.mcleanhospital.org/treatment/3east 📚 I Hate Myself: Overcome Self-Loathing and Realize Why You're Wrong About You 📚 DBT For Dummies 📚 DBT Workbook For Dummies (For Dummies: Learning Made Easy) ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Want to get my research-backed framework for increasing cooperation and emotion regulation skills in your sensitive child? Check out Parenting by Design, my guided program to help you parent your unique child in a way that increases cooperation, defuses power struggles, and rebuilds their trust in your authority–all while supporting your child's mental health and your own. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 27. What do you do when your child says "I'm stupid," "I hate myself," "I'm a bad kid," or worse? 🎧 129. Q&A: How can I support my sensitive, "spicy," highly emotional child? 🎧 316. Self-compassion, critical thinking, and connection: What the research reveals about raising capable kids with Melinda Wenner Moyer 🎧 318. The neuroscience of control: Helping kids cope with stress and become self-driven with Dr. William Stixrud 🎧 307. Q&A: My toddler is so sensitive that even when I'm being silly with him, he loses it. What can I do?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about... Regardless of whether your child is experiencing sensory sensitivities or anxiety, our goal is the same - helping you define exactly what that goal is. Where do anxiety and sensory sensitivities overlap? (Spoiler: A lot of this boils down to nervous system regulation.) How you can help your child understand what their unique triggers are and the tools and strategies that can help them navigate these without so much distress. What to consider to help you if it's time for an intervention, like occupational therapy, parenting support, individual therapy for your child. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Are you parenting a child with anxiety or OCD and looking for tools to support them? CLICK HERE to learn more about Upshur Bren Psychology Group's SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) program or SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to see if it's the right fit for your family. 🔗 https://www.spacetreatment.net/ 📚 Breaking Free of Child Anxiety & OCD: A Scientifically Proven Program for Parents by Eli R. Lebowitz, PhD ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions with Dr. Eli Lebowitz 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether your child's hitting might be a sign of aggression or sensory seeking 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about understanding your child's sensory sensitivities with Alyssa Blask Campbell WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Neuroscientist and psychologist Dr. Kristen Lindquist joins me for a fascinating conversation about how children develop emotional regulation — and how we as parents can support that growth not just through what we say, but how and when we say it. Together we explore: Why the ability to feel and name emotions is something children build slowly over time — and what role parents play in that process. What neuroscience reveals about how the brain develops emotional literacy from infancy through adolescence (and even into adulthood!) How emotion regulation is like a "software update" that builds on the brain's existing "hardware." Why the timing of emotional teaching matters — and how to use the "before" and "after" moments (not the meltdowns themselves!) for the most impact. How tools like play, books, and nonverbal attunement can build emotional awareness without overwhelming sensitive or avoidant kids. The role of interoception — our sense of internal bodily cues — in helping kids (and adults) understand and manage what they feel. If you've ever tried to label your child's feelings mid-tantrum and been met with more screaming, or felt unsure how to help your child build real coping tools, this episode will help you take a science-backed, developmentally informed approach that fosters connection and long-term resilience. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://www.kristenalindquist.com/ 🔗 https://psychology.osu.edu/people/lindquist.83 ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Want more games specifically designed for fostering emotion regulation? Go to drsarahbren.com/games to get my ✨FREE✨ guide packed with games you can play with kids of all ages! 👉🏻 Want to get my research-backed framework for increasing cooperation and emotion regulation skills so you can get back to enjoying parenthood? Check out Parenting by Design, my guided program for increasing behavioral and emotional regulation in sensitive kids. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 24. The psychology behind dysregulation with founder of Parenting Translator Cara Goodwin 🎧 06. Teaching children emotion regulation skills through coregulation with Dana Rosenbloom 🎧 202. Regulation, reward systems, and rest: Rewiring the way our kids interact with screens with Alé Duarte

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about... How to prepare a toddler for a parent's surgery or temporary physical limitations in a way that is honest, concrete, and not scary. Creative, developmentally appropriate ways to help your child understand and process upcoming changes to routines—like playtime, bedtime, or physical closeness. The power of play, role-playing with toys, and using analogies to help kids grasp abstract concepts. What to expect behaviorally from your child during your recovery and strategies for responding to potential regressions or increased irritability. How to reframe this period as a chance to foster independence and pride in your child while still maintaining connection. The surprising importance of shifting focus to what you still can do with your child, and how to create new, meaningful rituals during a difficult time. Why prioritizing your own healing—both physically and emotionally—is one of the most supportive things you can do for your child. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to understand toddlerhood with the authors of the Terrific Toddlers series 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to tell your toddler you're pregnant 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about telling your toddler about a miscarriage WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Chelsea Skaggs is here to talk about how couples can keep your romantic relationship strong as you move beyond from early stages of survival mode deeper into parenthood. Together we explore: How the demands of parenting shift as your children grow, and what that means for your romantic connection. Tips for getting your partner on board if only one of you feels ready to work on deepening your connection. Simple and practical strategies for attuning to your partner and "reading" the room for your best chance of success feeling a deepened connection. Navigating mismatched energy levels and intentions so bids for connection aren't thwarted. A power tool anyone can implement right away that can be help you to break out of reactive patterns. How your own nervous system regulation can be a starting point for closeness, including what polyvagal theory teaches us about this. Addressing resentment as a signal of unmet needs—and how to get to the root rather than staying stuck in this toxic loop. Why it's essential to focus on what's within your control and give yourself permission to care for yourself, instead of blaming your partner for meeting their needs. If you're ready to move beyond just getting through the day and reconnect with your partner in a deeper way, this conversation is for you. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://www.postpartumtogether.com/ 🎧 57. Sex after baby: How to reconnect and increase intimacy with your partner with Chelsea Skaggs ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Click HERE for my workshop, Be the Calm in Your Child's Storm: How to Keep Your Cool When Your Child Loses Theirs, to get the exact therapeutic interventions I use with my patients that can change the way your brain and body interprets your child's dysregulation to help you stay cool in the heat of the moment. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 59. Sex after baby part II: When we want to want it but we're just touched out 🎧 244. Understanding parental dysregulation: How to identify and manage your triggers with Dr. Amber Thornton 🎧 148. Unlocking the power of polyvagal theory: Using the nervous system to wire our children for resilience, with Seth Porges 🎧 115. Q&A: Can you get stuck in a state of fight-or-flight?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... What you can do if you're wondering: "Is my kid's ADHD diagnosis real or do I have an active 10-year-old kid?" How to evaluate the accuracy of a diagnosis and what steps to take if you're unsure or want a second opinion. Practical tools you can use to support your child—diagnosis or not. Strategies for becoming more aligned with your partner on how to handle parenting challenges and support your child's needs. What is a behavioral observation tracker, and how it can help you decide which interventions would be most helpful to use. The surprising truth about warmth and respect and why erring more on the side of warmth might actually be the key to creating change. (Want to learn more about parenting styles? Check out our episode on the benefits of authoritative parenting.) The parenting patterns we can become entrenched in, and a path forward to getting more on the same page. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 👉🏻 At Upshur Bren Psychology Group, we offer a range of services including parenting coaching, neuropsychological evaluations, and ADHD-focused support groups for both kids and parents. Whether you're looking to better understand your child's diagnosis, explore tools and strategies that actually work, or get on the same page with your co-parent, we're here to help. Go to upshurbren.com or SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs. 👉🏻 Click HERE to download my free guide on effectively disciplining your child with strategies that don't utilize shame or guilt - but still work to get your child to behave! ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about neuropsych evaluations with Dr. Yael Rothman & Dr. Katia Fredriksen 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your child with ADHD utilize school support systems without feeling embarrassed 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about connecting and supporting your neurodiverse child with Dr. Norrine Russell WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Clinical psychologist and author of the bestselling Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids, Dr. Laura Markham joins me for a rich conversation about what peaceful parenting really means — and how it can help you set firm, loving limits while staying deeply connected to your child. Together we explore: Why connection, not control, is the true foundation of cooperation and emotional resilience. What setting limits with empathy looks like in real life (and why it's not the same as being permissive). The surprising way laughter can help your child release built-up stress and unshed tears. Practical tools to respond to big feelings like anger, sadness, and aggression — without adding more fuel to your child's fire. Why behaviorism often oversimplifies how kids learn and grow and what advances in neuroscience reveal are how humans actually learn best. Why the goal of parenting isn't perfectly calm, compliant kids — but helping them build the neural wiring for lifelong emotional regulation. If you've ever felt torn between being "too strict" or "too soft," or overwhelmed by the endless parenting advice out there, this episode will help you zoom out, get grounded, and focus on what really matters for your child — and for you. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 📚 https://www.peacefulparenthappykids.com/ 📚 Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting 📚 Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids Workbook: Using Mindfulness and Connection to Raise Resilient, Joyful Children and Rediscover Your Love of Parenting 📚 Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings: How to Stop the Fighting and Raise Friends for Life ADDITIONAL RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Go to drsarahbren.com/discipline to download my free guide on effectively disciplining your child with strategies that don't utilize shame or guilt - but still work to get your child to behave! 👉🏻 Go to drsarahbren.com/bethecalm for my workshop, Be the Calm in Your Child's Storm: How to Keep Your Cool When Your Child Loses Theirs, to get the exact therapeutic interventions I use with my patients that can change the way your brain and body interprets your child's dysregulation to help you stay cool in the heat of the moment. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 39. Understanding parenting styles and the benefits of an authoritative approach: Q&A with Dr. Emily Upshur 🎧 06. Teaching children emotion regulation skills through coregulation with Dana Rosenbloom 🎧 234. Parenting with the "Whole-Brain": How to work with the brain rather than fight against with Dr. Dan Siegel

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about... How to find the grey space in your parenting choices and how black and white thinking can be a sign of your own anxiety and overwhelm. The difference between being wishy-washy and intentionally shifting your strategy. How to use "love and limits" to navigate situations that may feel overwhelming to your child. Why these activities may be more difficult for kids during the summer than during the school year, and how to factor in some of the tools you may not even have known were in place during the year. What it means to "shrink a kid's world" and how parents can do that while still stretching their kid just enough. How parents can help determine which activities to push your child to do and which to pull back from. Why it might be harder for you to enforce boundaries during the summer, and a helpful mindset shift you can use to feel more comfortable with your choices. How you can build your child's social skills and strengthen their emotional intelligence. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why birthday parties are so triggering for some kids 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about encouraging shy children without making them feel bad about it 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about temperament and personality with Dr. Koraly Pérez-Edgar WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Una Archer joins me for a thoughtful conversation about how to help children feel safe, secure, and resilient in the face of their parents' separation or divorce. Together we explore: Why there's no one-size-fits-all approach to separation, even among siblings, and why tuning into each child's unique needs matters. What the Circle of Security framework is and how it can be used to support children's attachment during major family transitions. The three core emotional needs that children rely on to feel secure, and how parents can meet these needs in everyday moments (check the show notes for a helpful visual!). How to separate your own trauma and fears from your child's experience so you can truly see and respond to them without projection. Why allowing more time and slowness during transitions isn't a setback, but an important part of healing and connection. The power of rupture and repair in relationships and practical ways parents can engage in repair after conflict or misunderstanding. How different family structures after separation—sometimes two distinct family systems—can be healthy depending on what your family needs. Navigating the challenges of co-parenting, including managing handoffs and stepping back when it's not your parenting time. If you're looking for compassionate, practical guidance on fostering secure attachment for your children through big changes, this conversation is full of insights and tools you won't want to miss! LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: https://www.helpyourchildthrive.co.uk/ The Separated Parent's Guide to Attachment: 3 Steps Towards Emotional Security ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉🏻 If you're currently in the midst of separation, moving forward after divorce, or adjusting to life post-split, Upshur Bren Psychology Group's weekly virtual Divorce Process Group for Women provides a safe space for woemen to process their emotions, gain support, and build strategies for moving forward. Visit https://upshurbren.com/group-womensdivorce or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn more. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 https://drsarahbren.com/42-busting-divorce-myths-and-breaking-down-the-true-effect-it-has-on-children-a-conversation-with-michelle-dempsey-multack 🎧 277. Q&A: Is "nesting" during a divorce better for your kids? 🎧 280. Codependency, insecure attachment, and relationship patterns: Creating stronger, healthier romantic partnerships with Alana Carvalho 🎧 102. Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with Dr. Miriam Steele

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about... When your child says "I'm bored" does that actually mean they are? How to decode their language to get to the root of their struggles. What is a developmentally appropriate amount of time parents can expect of their children to play independently? What is a "bored list" and a "bored box" and how can you create these tools to help with the summer slump. How self-regulation and executive functioning play a part in your child's feelings of boredom and how understanding this can help you scaffold more effectively. How to use a few minutes of connection time as a bridge into helping your child become engrossed in an activity on their own. A trick for determining if your child may just need help getting started with an activity, especially when going into a new environment or situation, like a park, pool, or playground. In our highly stimulating world, kids can express feeling bored when things are a bit slower. How to off-set this to find more balance. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how screens affect regulation with Ale Duarte 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how you can encourage independent play 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to help your child maintain their friendships over the summer WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

New York Times bestselling author, therapist, and social philosopher Michael Gurian joins me for a fascinating conversation about the brain science behind why boys and girls often need different things—and how understanding these differences can help us raise emotionally healthy, resilient kids. Together we explore: The difference between sex and gender. Why boys' brains often orient more toward spatial and kinesthetic activities, and how this shapes the way they bond and communicate. The surprising brain-based reason empathy often comes more easily to girls than boys and how to nurture empathy in boys. How school systems unintentionally disadvantage boys and practical things parents can do at home to help them thrive. Why "use your words" doesn't always work for boys—and how to support emotional expression in more body-based, multisensory ways. The crucial distinction between healthy aggression and violence and why rough-and-tumble play can actually build resilience and connection. How maternal and paternal nurturing styles differ and how each uniquely supports children's development. How understanding these biological and developmental differences can help reduce conflict, build trust, and support each child's unique strengths. If you're curious about what neuroscience can teach us about the different ways boys and girls develop, connect, and express themselves—and how this understanding can help you parent more effectively—this episode is filled with research-based insights and practical tools you won't want to miss! LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 👉🏻 https://www.michaelgurian.com/ 📚 Boys, A Rescue Plan: Moving Beyond the Politics of Masculinity to Healthy Male Development 🎧 Wonder of Parenting - A Brain-Science Approach to Parenting CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 214. Raising emotionally intelligent sons: Parenting boys to combat "toxic masculinity" with Ruth Whippman 🎧 286. Empowering girls to navigate media, body image, and societal pressures with Dr. Jo-Ann Finkelstein 🎧 149. Q&A: How to answer your kid's questions about gender

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about... What "scaffolding" and "accommodations" actually mean, where they differ, and where they overlap. Why the exact same parenting move can either build your child's confidence or unintentionally undermine your intentions, and the simple trick to figure out which one you're doing! How your child's discomfort plays a role in how you respond to them, and the important information that can reveal to us as parents. A real-life example of the difference between scaffolding versus over-accommodating when you have a child with social anxiety - a helpful framework for what to do and what to try to avoid doing. How scaffolding is specifically tied to skill-building, both emotionally and practically. Why your own bandwidth matters and how to balance consistency with realistic expectations. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Are you parenting a child with anxiety or OCD and looking for tools to support them? CLICK HERE to learn more about Upshur Bren Psychology Group's SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) program or SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to see if it's the right fit for your family. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about supporting kids through fears with Jennie Monness 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about separation anxiety 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about SPACE with the creator of this modality Dr. Eli Lebowitz of the Yale Child Study Center WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Clinical neuropsychologist and co-author of The Self-Driven Child, Dr. William Stixrud joins me for a powerful conversation about how we can raise confident, resilient kids by helping them feel a greater sense of control, without giving up our role as parents. Together we explore: Why a low sense of control is one of the most stressful experiences a child (or adult) can have, and how we can support our kids in feeling more agentful in their lives. How secure attachment and autonomy are deeply connected—and why attachment must come first. What SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) is and how parents can use techniques from this modality whether your child has anxiety or not. Why Dr. Stixrud started saying "I love you too much to fight with you about homework" and how you can use this too to defuse power struggles and build internal motivation. Tips for how parents can more successfully respond to children's behaviors that they can't control, like tantrums, hitting, or screaming. Why stepping in too often can interrupt neurological processes that help kids learn, adapt, and build resilience. How to support self-driven learning, encourage safe risk-taking, and build a foundation of mutual respect in your family. If you're looking to reduce conflict and build more trust in your parent-child relationship, this conversation is filled with evidence-based insight and practical tools you won't want to miss! LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 👉🏻 https://stixrud.com/ ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 📚 The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives 📚 What Do You Say?: How to Talk with Kids to Build Motivation, Stress Tolerance, and a Happy Home 📚 The Seven Principles for Raising a Self-Driven Child: A Workbook 🎧 The Self-Driven Child Podcast 👉🏻 Learned Helplessness at Fifty: Insights from Neuroscience CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 72. Supportive parenting for anxious childhood emotions space how a new treatment for childhood anxiety and OCD is revolutionizing care with Dr. Eli Lebowitz 🎧 244. Understanding parental dysregulation: How to identify and manage your triggers with Dr. Amber Thornton 🎧 146. The hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace 🎧 206. Picky eating, ARFID, and SPACE: How a new anxiety treatment can help your child be more flexible around food with Dr. Yaara Shimshoni

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about... What is the difference between attachment bonds and parental preferences? If your child shows you their most dysregulated behaviors, doesn't listen to you, or is their messiest self with you, what these behaviors may reveal. (Spoiler: It's a good sign!) If your child does have an insecure attachment to you, practical strategies and interventions you can use to start repairing your relationship. The difference between independent play and child led play, and how only one of these is used to help you improve your connection. Dr. Sarah's 6-basics that all kids need before you can start developing a deeper bond with your child. How you can tap into your child's attachment security in other relationships to help you deepen your own bond to each other. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 🤳 Go to drsarahbren.com/secure to download my free guide, The Four Pillars of Fostering Secure Attachment, helping you parent with a focus on attunement and trust. 👉🏻 Click here to lean more about support options at Upshur Bren Psychology Group and to schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about children favoring one parent 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about attachment security in our early relationships with Dr. Alan Sroufe 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about breaking an insecure attachment cycle with Dr. Miriam Steele 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do if your child loses it more with you than anyone else 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the benefits of using an authoritative approach to parenting WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Melinda Wenner Moyer, author of the new book Hello, Cruel World! joins me to break down the most essential skills kids need to thrive in today's complicated times. Together we explore: The three powerful themes Melinda saw again and again in her research and how you can tap into these to help you be more effective in your parenting. Practical and realistic ways to help kids feel truly seen and heard. How slowing down, staying curious, and fostering a growth mindset isn't just for kids, but for parents too. The surprising power of guiding children to discover answers on their own—and how this can actually build critical neural circuitry in their brains A simple, impactful question you can ask your child to help them reflect and learn to trust their own judgment. The critical yet often overlooked role of self-compassion in mental health, and the three key components of self-compassion every parent should know. What it really means when kids say things like "I hate myself" or "I shouldn't be part of this family," and how to respond with empathy. If you've ever felt overwhelmed by the pressures of modern parenting or worried about helping your child manage their feelings and decisions, this episode offers research-backed, actionable wisdom you won't want to miss. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: ✨ https://www.melindawennermoyer.com/ READ HER BOOKS: 📚 Hello, Cruel World!: Science-Based Strategies for Raising Terrific Kids in Terrifying Times 📚 How to Raise Kids Who Aren't A**holes: Science-Based Strategies for Better Parenting--from Tots to Teens CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 252. Secure attachment and growth mindset: The science behind raising well-adjusted kids with Melinda Wenner Moyer 🎧 14. Motherhood as a millennial: Tuning out the noise and learning to find trust in ourselves with Marcella Kelson 🎧 268. A deep dive on parental burnout: What it is, why it happens, and how to overcome it

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... Why potty training blends both physiological and psychological factors and how parents can wrap their head around both to best support your child. How parents can understand the biological-psychological feedback loop and how this can affect your child's body and mind. How to get on the same page when there are multiple caregivers and providers who spend time with your child. Exactly what to be tracking to help you get to the root of the problem and how to determine if your responses are inadvertently perpetuating the challenges and anxiety your child may be experiencing. Taking a pause if you notice a regression can be helpful - but only for some kids and in some situations. How to know when a reset is appropriate and when you might not want to use this approach with your child. What parents can do to help a child become less fearful and more relaxed in the bathroom. What is interoceptive sensory input, and how can this be helpful to focus on and build for your child outside of the bathroom? REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Go to upshurbren.com to lean more about parenting coaching, therapy, and support options at Upshur Bren Psychology Group. Or, click here to schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to successfully potty train 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about potty training, constipation, bed-wetting, and pelvic health with Quiara Smith 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE) with Dr. Eli Lebowitz WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Sharon Itkoff Nacache is joining me to break down the myths and truths about art therapy—what it is, what it isn't, and why creativity can be such a powerful tool for healing, integration, and resilience. Together we explore: The common questions people have about art therapy, and how integrating creative arts into therapy can support emotional processing, integration, and healing. The difference between open studio models, art therapy, and art psychotherapy and how each can serve different therapeutic goals. How art can help us (and our kids) process overwhelming experiences that might feel too big or complex to articulate with words alone. Why the materials matter: How Sharon intentionally uses tools like dry or wet media to support different emotional states and how you can use these same principles in your own creative exploration. Why creative expression goes far beyond painting or drawing—how journaling, movement, or even doodling can become powerful tools to ground yourself in moments of stress or burnout. A simple yet powerful exercise Dr. Sarah uses with her clients to identify and reconnect with unmet needs that you can do too. What it means to build "creative resilience" and how it can help you access more joy, safe risk-taking, and a sense of internal flow. Sharon's best strategies for those who feel creatively blocked or don't consider themselves "artistic" and why you don't need to be an artist to benefit from creative self-expression. Whether you've been curious about art therapy or are simply looking for accessible ways to reconnect with yourself and find a sense of emotional grounding, this conversation is full of both inspiration and tangible takeaways. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: Co-Create Art Therapy GET HER BOOK: 📚 The Days Before I Met You: A Creative Space Honoring the Birth of a Parent ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 📚 Your Brain on Art 📚 Art Therapy and Childbearing Issues 📚Art is a Way of Knowing 📚Therapeutic Arts in Pregnancy, Birth, and New Parenthood 👉🏻 Whitney Museum and NYC Health + Hospitals Arts in Medicine department 👉🏻 Postpartum Support International CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 33. How parents can use music as an emotion regulator with music therapist Vered 🎧 47. What we hold in our bodies: Unlocking emotions through dance and movement therapy with dr. Lori Baudino 🎧 240. Processing birth trauma: How to make sense of, heal, and move forward after a difficult birthing experience with Dr. Sterling 🎧 282. Beyond the 6-week checkup: A realistic look at postpartum and early parenthood with Dr. Jessica Vernon

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about... There is no correlation between a baby who self-weans and the development of a secure attachment. You're going to piss off your kids a lot… that's totally normal and doesn't mean that they won't form a strong and healthy attachment to you. It makes sense your child wants what feels good to them, but that doesn't necessarily mean that what they want is also what they need. Helpful Hint: When your child stops breastfeeding, there is often a period of time where they will eat less - and this can lead to more anxiety, especially if you are doing this because of concerns over their nutrition. Clothing choices, accessible snacks, and meal planning: Some practical tips for moms who are ready to stop breastfeeding. How to build your child's distress tolerance and help them prepare for this big transition. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 📚 Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense, Revised and Updated Edition by Ellyn Satter ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions with Dr. Eli Lebowitz 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about raising healthy eaters with Amelia Sherry 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about picky eating and ARFID with Dr. Yaara Shimshoni WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

In this episode, I'm joined by cognitive psychologist and ADHD expert Eliza Barach to explore the brain-based differences that drive many of the challenges (and strengths!) that come with ADHD. Together we cover: The neuroscience of an ADHD brain and why having this basic knowledge can be so impactful for your parenting! How understanding the roles of dopamine and norepinephrine are important aspects of understanding your child (or yourself!) with ADHD. Why people with ADHD are more vulnerable to all forms of addictions. And while our culture rewards some addictive behaviors (like workaholism) while condemning others, both can have negative impacts on your mental health. How to make transitions easier for your child with ADHD. (Want to learn more about this topic? Check out episode 295. How can I get my child with ADHD go from one activity to the next without a fight?) Specific and real-life strategies parents can implement to add more stimulation to boring tasks that will decrease the amount of fights and power struggles between you and your child. Why kids with ADHD are so prone to meltdowns and how pointing out the logic to your child in these hot moments can help lay the foundation for more self-regulation in the future. (But, only if you do so in the "right" way.) Activating your child's Task Positive Network can be regulating for the nervous system—what parents can do to get this part of your child's brain to turn on. The failing of the system for diagnosis of ADHD, especially in girls and marginalized communities, and why getting a diagnosis is so vital for allowing proper support for a person's unique strengths and challenges. If you've ever wondered whether your child might have ADHD, felt unsure how to support them without constant conflict, or simply wanted to better understand their needs, this episode is packed with clarity, compassion, and expert insights you can put into practice right away. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: https://www.neural-revolution.com/ ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉🏻 How ADHD can impact driving 👉🏻 Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder in Women and Girls: Uncovering This Hidden Diagnosis 👉🏻 Interested in learning more about Upshur Bren Psychology Group's Parenting Your Child with ADHD 8-week virtual workshop series to empower parents of children, adolescents, and young adults with ADHD? Go to upshurbren.com/group-adhd or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn more. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 250. How to make mindfulness more "user-friendly" for parents with ADHD with Dr. Lidia Zylowska 🎧 235. BTS: How can I prepare for an IEP or 504 meeting after my child receives an ADHD diagnosis? 🎧 178. ADHD and attachment security: How to connect with and support your neurodiverse child with Dr. Norrine Russell 🎧 131. Q&A: How do I help my child with ADHD utilize school support systems without feeling embarrassed or self-conscious

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... How do you know when to encourage your child to stick with an activity versus when it's okay to let them step away? Does your approach change if the activity is a team sport versus an individual activity? What are effective ways to talk to your partner about these concerns without triggering defensiveness or shutting down the conversation? How sibling dynamics along with parental expectations can influence a child's interests and shape their developing identity. A helpful phrase you can use that may reduce some of the pressure and urgency, leading to lessened friction and tension between your partner and child. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about temperament and personality development with Dr. Koraly Pérez-Edgar 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether or not it's okay to let your child quit an activity 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about navigating conflict in your relationship with Dr. Marina Rosenthal WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!