Rebuilding Us: Marriage Podcast

Join us for Faith Friday, where we dive into the meaning of unanswered prayers. It's a question that often resonates with many, whether you're a newcomer to faith, a seasoned believer, or simply curious about spirituality. "Why does God not answer my prayer?" It's a question that's likely crossed your mind, just as it has mine. Before we explore this topic further, I want to make one thing clear right from the start: God answers every single prayer. Yes, you heard that right, every single one. But here's the catch: His response depends on whether our prayers align with His divine will. John 5:14 says, “And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. And since we know that he hears us when we make our requests, we also know that he will give us what we ask for.” So, next time you're praying and it feels like heaven's gone silent, remember this: God doesn't abandon His children. Instead, He guides us with answers that are in our best spiritual interest. Instead of frustration, let's embrace gratitude for our kind, gracious, and loving Heavenly Father. Thank you for joining me on this Faith Friday episode. I'd love to hear your thoughts on today's topic. You can connect with me on Instagram @MrsDanaChe. And be sure to subscribe to the podcast to catch all the episodes. Your faith journey matters, and I'm here to support you every step of the way. Wishing you a Faith-Filled Friday and a weekend full of blessings. Until our next episode, take care. To stay updated with show notes, helpful articles, and more relationship tips, visit https://realrelationshiptalk.com. We'd love for you to rate, review, and SUBSCRIBE to the podcast, as your support enables us to continue delivering valuable relationship content to people worldwide! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Get your copy of our latest devotional "Love Is"! Learn more about how I can serve you best at https://danache.com. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

In this episode, we’re discussing the relationship mind games people play and how to kick these detrimental relational habits to the curb. Just like clutter in our physical space, bad relationship habits (like mind games) clutter our emotional world and hinder the path to fulfilling connections. Today, I want to help you recognize these habits, understand the damage they create, and most importantly, replace them with healthier and more authentic methods of communication. LINKS MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE Last week's episode - Releasing the Weight We Carry from Relationship Baggage Episode 63 How Apathy is Silently Killing Your Marriage Learn more about premarital counseling here. Be sure to SUBSCRIBE to the podcast and rate it if you love it! Connect with Dana on Instagram @mrsdanache or on Facebook @Thrive Relationships. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

It's Faith Friday! Join us as we delve into this inspiring message of how to hold joy and pain at the same time. Exploring personal insights and relatable experiences, we navigate the complexity of emotions and the understanding of how our spirit and heart integrate. From finding hope in scriptures to overcoming despair through faith, we share stories of choosing joy amidst life’s challenges. Tune in to discover the power of faith and find strength in every circumstance. Psalm 42:5 “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.” We can learn from Paul and Silas by unpacking their story of praise amidst pain in Acts chapter 16. Something to ponder: In times of adversity, how can we follow the example of Paul and Silas in choosing to praise and hold onto faith, even when faced with challenging circumstances? Thank you for joining us on this faith-filled journey. Remember, you, too, can hold joy and pain simultaneously, finding strength and hope in every circumstance. Check out my Instagram for more faith-filled content! To stay updated with show notes, helpful articles, and more relationship tips, visit https://realrelationshiptalk.com. We'd love for you to rate, review, and SUBSCRIBE to the podcast, as your support enables us to continue delivering valuable relationship content to people worldwide! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Get your copy of our latest devotional Love Is!Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

BAGGAGE CLAIM: RELEASING THE WEIGHT WE CARRY FROM RELATIONSHIP BAGGAGE In this episode, we will discuss how to drop relationship baggage that's been holding us back. Past relationships and childhood trauma create emotional baggage in current relationships. I want to help you move toward releasing that today. We will explore how to identify the types of baggage we have, how they show up in our relationships, and how you release them to move forward. We need to reflect on past experiences and consequent wounds that may contribute to the weight we carry, the things that trigger us and also affect how we navigate relationships. Learn today how to pack light! Now let’s delve into the importance of acknowledging and releasing the weight of our past to have healthier and more fulfilling relationships. LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: Episode 143-Overcoming Father Wounds-Kia Stephens Episode 39- Understanding Your Core Wounds & Avoiding Toxic Relationships-Dr. Janie Lacy Get your Love Is Devotional here! SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

It's Faith Friday! Listen and be inspired by Mark 12:28-31 and 1 John 4:20, which helps us understand what it means to wholeheartedly love God with all our hearts, souls, minds, and strength. See the verses below and let's ponder some things together. Mark 12: 28-31 “One of the teachers of religious law was standing there listening to the debate. He realized that Jesus had answered well, so he asked, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?” Jesus replied, “The most important commandment is this: ‘Listen, O Israel! The Lord our God is the one and only Lord. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’ The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.”1 John 4:20 “If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see?” Some questions to ponder: What must I remove from my life that keeps me from wholeheartedly loving God? What do I need to examine in my heart that keeps me from loving others wholeheartedly? Father in Heaven, I pray hearts to be open to hear your voice on anything in their world that might keep them from loving you greater and reflecting your love to others in their world as well. In Jesus name, amen! I'd love to hear your faith find from today's episode. After you listen to the episode, share your faith find (or takeaway) as a review on the podcast, or feel free to message me on Instagram. To stay updated with show notes, helpful articles, and more relationship tips, visit https://realrelationshiptalk.com. We'd love for you to rate, review, and SUBSCRIBE to the podcast as your support enables us to continue delivering valuable relationship content to people across the world! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Get your copy of our latest devotional "Love Is"!Learn more about all I do at https://danache.com.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Looking for ways to cultivate a lifelong journey of faith with your kids? Join us as we dive into practical tips, personal stories, and expert advice from Elizabeth Urbanowicz on teaching children about faith from toddlers to teens as she shares how to navigate the challenges of raising spiritually grounded children in today's world. We know that many parents feel discouraged when they see their children straying from their faith. It's easy to question if we've done enough to instill solid spiritual foundations in their lives. But fear not, because today, we're here to offer encouragement, guidance, and practical tips for parents who want to help their children follow Christ. Like this episode? BE SURE TO SUBSCRIBE TO THE PODCAST TODAY! RESOURCES/LINKS Get Dana Che's new devotional Love Is: A Journey through I Corinthians 13. Find more Dana Che resources at realrelationshiptalk.com. GUEST INFO Learn more about Elizabeth and her ministry at foundationworldview.com. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

It's Faith Friday and also the three-year anniversary of Real Relationship Talk! Our faith focus is from Nehemiah 8:10, which reminds us about the power of joy and celebration. Nehemiah 8:10: And Nehemiah continued, “Go and celebrate with a feast of rich foods and sweet drinks, and share gifts of food with people who have nothing prepared. This is a sacred day before our Lord. Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!”The enemy would have us focused on the trauma, pain, and hardships so we will be zapped of our strength. This is his tactic to steal our joy - OUR STRENGTH! Praise God as you wait on your answer and remember, let the joy of the Lord be your strength!Join me for this conversation and learn how joy and celebration can impact your life. Some questions to ponder: How can I celebrate and cultivate joy in my relationships? How can I guard against the enemy’s tactic to steal my joy and strength in my relationships? I'd love to hear your faith find from today's episode. After you listen to the episode, share your faith find (or takeaway) as a review on the podcast, or feel free to message me on Instagram. To stay updated with show notes, helpful articles, and more relationship tips, visit https://realrelationshiptalk.com. We'd love for you to rate, review, and SUBSCRIBE to the podcast as your support enables us to continue delivering valuable relationship content to people across the world! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Get your copy of our latest devotional "Love Is"!Learn more about all I do at https://danache.com.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Forgiveness is foundational for a healthy marriage and relationship. On this episode, we will capture how to identify unforgiveness and model responsibility to others. Our guest, marriage therapist, Beth Hunter, also shares with us her amazing process of forgiving in four steps. Join us as we unpack the insights and practical strategies in this enlightening conversation. LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: Get your Love Is Devotional here! Interested in group coaching for married women? Learn about Thrive Wives today!Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Today's faith focus from Scripture is from Hebrews 4:16. We are discussing grace and mercy. How are they similar? How do they differ? Most importantly we need both from God and in our relationships. Join me for this conversation and learn how to apply the gift of grace and mercy in your life. Hebrews 4:16: Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Some questions to ponder: How does God show me grace? Where have I experienced his mercy lately? How am I showing grace and mercy in my relationships? I'd love to hear your faith find from today's episode. After you listen to the episode, share your faith find (or takeaway) as a review on the podcast, or feel free to message me on Instagram https://instagram.com/mrsdanache. To stay updated with show notes, helpful articles, and more relationship tips, visit https://realrelationshiptalk.com. We'd love for you to rate, review, and SUBSCRIBE to the podcast as your support enables us to continue delivering valuable relationship content to people across the world! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

This episode is really simple. No matter our parenting skills, our kids will sometimes make choices that break our hearts and cause them pain. How do you keep your love on in instances like this? Today, I'm giving four practical steps to love your kids through their bad choices.1. It's not about you.2. It's not about them. 3. It's not about the choice. 4. It's not the end of the story.Listen all the way through and be sure to share this helpful resource with another parent who might be struggling as their kids are making some not-so-great choices. LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: Episode 157: When You Disagree on How to Discipline the Kids Episode 159: How Putting Your Kids First Harms Your Marriage Get Your "Love Is"…Devotional Today!Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Faith Fridays: How to Hear God's Voice Today’s faith focus from scripture comes from John 10:27. Here are 5 ways to hear the voice of God. Hi friends. We’re back for another Faith Friday today. I will be talking about a topic that so many people whether you are new to your faith deep in your faith or not yet in your faith want to know about and it’s how to hear from God. John 10:27 says, "My sheep, hear my voice. I know them and they follow me." If you want to hear God's voice, you must . . . Be his Be quiet Be a reader of his word Be expectant Be discerning of other voices Share your faith find from this episode in a review wherever you listen to this podcast! Get our latest devotional "Love Is"! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

How Putting Your Kids First Harms Your Marriage (Marriage & Family Series) Put your kids first? Nope! Listen to learn what happens when you elevate your children & their activities to where only your spouse belongs. If you have children, if you have ever struggled with finding the balance between taking care of your children and nurturing your marriage, well, then friend, this conversation is for you. If you’re Christian, you’ve likely heard of that J-O-Y acronym. Jesus. Others. You. So many of us were raised with this whole idea that you always come last. Everybody is first. You're always last. When you get married, your spouse is first. But then when you have kids, (we don't say this, but we do this), we end up putting our kids even before our spouse. So in many families, this is how it looks. Your kids are first. Your spouse might come in there second. Friends, neighbors, responsibilities, jobs. Third, if you have a relationship with the Lord. He's probably third or fourth in there, somewhere in the mix. And then you are, like, on the bottom, bottom, bottom of the totem pole. And somehow that's supposed to make us feel like we're great mothers or we're great parents. That is so lopsided, and it's so destructive to you, and it’s also destructive to your family. Find the full show notes at https://realrelationshiptalk.com/episode159. Links Mentioned in this Episode: Episode 157: When You Disagree on How to Discipline the Kids Take my Free “How Connected a Partner Are You” Quiz Episode 155: Why Your Kids Need You to Get a Room 7 Lessons Your Marriage is Teaching Your Kids Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Can you imagine how weird it would be to see a leg hobbling down the street on its own or a hand floating through the air unattached? #StrangerThingsBut isn't that exactly what happens when Christians "detach" from the church, because of offense, apathy, or just plain ol' boredom? Today's faith focus is from Ephesians 4:16: He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love (NLT).Some questions to ponder:1. If He (God) makes the whole body fit together perfectly, what does that say of someone who is detached from the body?2. What "special work" are you doing in the Body?3. How are you helping others in the Church (the Body) to grow? I'd love to hear your faith find from today's episode. After you listen to the episode, share your faith find (your takeaway) with me here OR in your Instagram or Facebook stories and tag me @mrsdanache (Instagram) or @therealrelationshiptalk (Facebook), and I'll repost you! To stay updated with show notes, helpful articles, and more relationship tips, visit https://realrelationshiptalk.com. We’d love for you to rate, review, and SUBSCRIBE to the podcast as your support enables us to continue delivering valuable relationship content to people around the world!Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

When You Disagree on How to Discipline the Kids (Marriage & Family Series) When parenting your children, disagreements don't have to come between you and your spouse. So what do you do when you and your spouse disagree on how to discipline the kids? Shaun and I have had many disagreements concerning our kids. It can tear your marriage apart when you disagree on discipline. I want us to focus on this topic because our goal is to share a little bit about our story, our failures, and some things that we figured out along the way, in the hopes that you will also be able to learn how to navigate forward. Spoiler alert: it is possible to agree on your outcomes, even if not necessarily on your tactics. Most of us want our kids to thrive, and to be healthy, whole, loving, responsible people. So, join Shaun and me in this conversation. We're shedding some light and some wisdom on how to come to a truce when your parenting styles are misaligned. LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Learn more about Thrive Wives, our group coaching program How Connected a Partner Are You? Take the free quiz to find out! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Today's faith focus is from Romans 8:18. There are 4 different types of suffering: suffering that we bring on ourselves (think of the Israelites/Jews in the Bible); suffering that others bring on us (think of Joseph); suffering related to spiritual warfare (think of Job); and suffering for a greater purpose (think of Jesus). Regardless of the type of suffering you're enduring, you can survive and endure when you focus on what lies ahead . . . the "greater glory," as Paul puts it. Remember, your best days are yet ahead. You can make it through this suffering season and fulfill God's plan for your life. Learn more about Dana Che, marriage and relationship coaching, or how to invite her to speak at your event at https://danache.com. To stay updated with show notes, helpful articles, and relationship tips, visit https://realrelationshiptalk.com. Enjoying the show? Give it a 5-star rating, review, and SUBSCRIBE to the podcast! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Why Your Kids Need You to "Get a Room" (Marriage & Family Series) Today we are going to get into some sex talk. This episode is going to be hot. It's going to be a bit spicy and steamy. We're talking about sex and why your kids need to see appropriate sexual affection.. How many of you have heard your kids say “Get a room!”? Shaun and I have this goal, if you will, to make our children uncomfortable and remind them that before you ever arrived on the scene, we had a very vibrant, beautiful sex life. Many parents get so anxious and nervous about "the sex talk," but I want to tell you that if you're practicing healthy sexual affection in front of your children, then having that sex talk is going to be that much easier because you're already really laying the foundation. Your children need to know that you all not only love each other but that you like and enjoy each other. Displaying appropriate sexual affection in front of your kids helps them feel secure and counteracts the damaging over-sexualized messaging from the media. LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Learn more about Thrive Wives, our group coaching program How Connected a Partner Are You? Take the free quiz to find out! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Welcome to Faith Fridays on Real Relationship Talk. We're bringing you an additional podcast episode each Friday on the topic of real faith. These short episodes will help you learn more about God and grow in your faith, seeing his work in your relationships. Today’s faith focus is from Proverbs 25:28 and is about cultivating self-control and how doing so is the true path to freedom. It reads, "Like a city that is broken into and without walls, so is a person who has no self-control over his spirit" (NASB). Many people think that the ultimate freedom is doing whatever you want. That’s not the ultimate freedom. Real freedom is the ability to control yourself and restrain yourself from doing whatever you want. Unbridled access leads to bondage, not freedom. And too much of even a good thing can be harmful. Learn more about Dana Che and our marriage and relationship coaching at https://thriverelationships.us. To stay updated with show notes, helpful articles, and more relationship tips, visit https://realrelationshiptalk.com. We’d love for you to rate, review, and SUBSCRIBE to the podcast as your support enables us to continue delivering valuable relationship content to people around the world!Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

7 Lessons Your Marriage is Teaching Your Kids (Marriage & Family Series) As parents, your marriage speaks loudly to your children, whether good or bad - healthy or struggling. Your kids are watching everything. And let me tell you, kids are very perceptive. Kids understand way more than we give them credit for. In today’s podcast, we are discussing seven lessons your marriage is teaching your children: from conflict resolution to grace and forgiveness, appreciation, inner vows, boundaries, gender roles, healthy sexuality, and more, your marriage is sending some powerful lessons. Be sure to listen to the full episode and learn how to create a marriage your children will want to emulate. Wondering how connected a partner you are in your relationship or marriage? Take the free Partner Quiz today! https://danache.com/partnerquiz For wives looking for support, encouragement, and growth, join Thrive Wives, our bi-weekly group coaching program. https://thrivewives.com. We’d love for you to rate, review, and SUBSCRIBE to the podcast! Your support enables us to continue delivering valuable relationship and marriage advice and content to people worldwide! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Welcome to Faith Fridays on Real Relationship Talk. We're bringing you an additional podcast episode each Friday on the topic of real faith. These short episodes will help you learn more about God and grow in your faith, seeing his work in your relationships. Today’s faith focus is becoming a peacemaker, and our scripture comes from Matthew 5:9.“God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God (New Living Translation). Take the “How Connected a Partner Are You” Quiz today at https://danache.com/partnerquiz. To stay updated with show notes, helpful articles, and more relationship tips, visit https://realrelationshiptalk.com. We’d love for you to rate, review, and SUBSCRIBE to the podcast as your support enables us to continue delivering valuable relationship content to people around the world!Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

What If I Married the Wrong Person? One of our listeners wrote in with a question: What if I married the wrong person? He went on to share that he felt bored, dissatisfied, and miserable in his marriage and wanted some advice on what he should do. He also confessed to being tempted by attention from other women, which heightened the thought that his wife is just not right for him anymore. In my typical candid but graceful way, I share my thoughts and advice to help not only him but anyone else who may wonder if they’ve married the wrong person to navigate this difficult situation. I can’t stress enough the importance of evaluating whether a person is the right fit for marriage before making a commitment. Regrettably, many people bypass these steps before walking down the aisle and end up feeling stuck in their marriages. This episode also discusses steps to reconnect when you feel disconnected, the responsibility of love, and how to stop being bored in your marriage. Get ready, it’s getting real REAL today! Take the “How Connected a Partner Are You” Quiz today at https://danache.com/partnerquiz. To stay updated with show notes, helpful articles, and more relationship tips, visit https://realrelationshiptalk.com. We’d love for you to rate, review, and SUBSCRIBE to the podcast as your support enables us to continue delivering valuable relationship content to people around the world!Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Forgiving What You Can’t Forget Pt. 2 We’re discussing part two of forgiving what you can’t forget and continuing to talk about the fourfold path to forgiveness. These references come from Desmond and Mpho Tutu's book The Book on Forgiving. It's an incredible book; so well written. When I read this book, it was like a really kind, sweet, older gentleman, uncle, grandpa, that kind of person, who was just, loves you through his words. That's the best way that I can describe it. It's such a compassionate, gentle book, but with powerful truths. Step 2 - Name the Hurt The next step in the fourfold path to forgiveness is naming the hurt. It's one thing for you to tell the story. For example, this thing happened to me, my husband was unfaithful, my wife depleted our bank account, whatever the situation is. But it's another thing for you to then name the hurt for you to actually get real about what was lost. What did you lose when that thing happened? Get real specific about that. I’ve had quite a few things happen in my life that have caused me grief, and I've just kind of moved on. Now, that's not to say that I haven't grieved at all, but if I'm honest, I probably skipped some steps because I don't like to feel sad. I don't like feeling sorrow. I don't like to think about loss. So to really be honest and real with myself about the fact that I really lost something there takes a lot of work. It takes a lot of honesty. It takes a lot of vulnerability to just sit with that and to realize that some of the things that you lost, you can never get back. If you were, God forbid, sexually assaulted as a child, you lost your innocence, and you won't be able to get that back. Now, that does not mean that you're damaged goods. It doesn't mean that your life is over and you're somehow always going to be walking around with a scarlet A on your forehead. Absolutely not. But it does mean that you have to acknowledge that something was lost. So a part of naming the hurt is super important because it allows you to stop pretending or minimizing what happened. It's one thing to, again, be general, I was hurt, I was betrayed, I was let down. It's another thing to say, this is the hurt. I lost my confidence, I lost my security, I lost the closeness that I felt with that person. I lost my safety, I lost my savings. Whatever it might be, whatever was lost. It's important that you're able to name that and not just the tangible things, but the Nontangibles. That's super important that we're able to do that. Be specific about what it is that you lost. Good Grief There's another book, and I'll link to this in the show notes of this podcast. It's called Good Grief by Granger Westburg. I read this book back in 2008 after my best friend passed away from breast cancer, and I've talked about this before on the show. I've told you just now that I'm not the greatest at dealing with grief. So I had to start seeing a grief counselor because I could not move on. Now, obviously, you're dealing with a very significant loss, like people expect you to grieve for a while, right? But this was different. It wasn't like I was in denial. I knew that she had died, but it really affected me in ways that I did not know what to do with. And so I started seeing a grief counselor. And that was one of the best decisions that I ever did because I think had I not started seeing that grief counselor, I probably would have just masked it under some religious jargon, like, “Oh, she's in glory, bless the Lord.” That's not what we need to do when we are going through loss and pain. We don't need to mask it in some religious ideology. ALSO LISTEN TO EP. 47: GRIEVING WITH HOPE Step 3 - Granting Forgiveness Step three is granting forgiveness. Now, I say this a lot, and I'm going to say it again, that forgiveness is both a choice and a process. You are not always going to feel like forgiving. And forgiveness is not just something as easy as just like, I forgive you. Okay, let's move on. It starts off as a choice, but then you have to work it out as a process. These four steps that I'm giving you today is the process, or a process. So when I tell you that you need to grant forgiveness, it is a choice. You have to get to a point where you realize that when you withhold forgiveness from someone, you're truly only hurting yourself in the long run. Scientific studies have shown what unforgiveness does to the human body. Our bodies were not meant to hold on to unforgiveness. Your body was not meant to hold on to unforgiveness. You were not created to hold that much pain, to absorb that much trauma unhealed. So when you choose not to forgive, you're choosing to stay stuck in your trauma and in your shame, and in your pain. I tweeted this years ago. It's not my original tweet, but “Holding on to unforgiveness is like drinking poison, expecting the other person to die.” Some of the people that we are not forgiving have gone on about their lives, and they are not thinking about you at a

Forgiving What You Can’t Forget - Pt. 1 Today we are going to go a little deep. We're going to do a little bit of excavation into your heart, perhaps to pull out some old memories that you would prefer to stay tucked away. We are going to go after the cover-up that you have put over some of those wounds, and we're going to make sure that what you have forgiven is really, indeed healed. For some, you’re listening to this episode today on forgiveness, because you haven't been able to forgive. You haven't been able to move on, and you need somebody to help you out. After this and next week’s episode, you will have a blueprint on how to get over what was done to you, how to forgive, and move on. The title of this episode is forgiving what you can't forget. And I know that we have so much to talk about, so I've actually split this episode up into two separate episodes. So we're going to talk about part one today and then next week join us because we are going to finish up with part two. Everybody Needs to Learn How to Forgive If there is one thing that I know for sure as a marriage coach, as a pastor, as a woman, and as a human being, it is that we all are going to have to walk through forgiveness at some point or another. You could have the most perfect marriage, the most healthy relationship, the best friendship, you name it, but at some point because you are in a relationship with another human being, you're going to be hurt and you are going to hurt. We need to understand that forgiveness isn't something that just really resilient strong people do. It isn't something that only struggling relationships have to go through. We all have to learn how to forgive. And the more that you do it, the easier it gets. So as I look back over my life, I can think of many people whom I've really had to forgive, really struggled to forgive. And here's the truth. The closer the person is to you, the harder it is to forgive. Because the people that are closest to us have the most ability or the greatest ability to hurt us the deepest. If I'm just upset with my coworker because they ate my lunch that I put in the refrigerator, well, I mean, I have to forgive that. But it's not like the end of the world versus if I have to forgive my husband who betrayed my trust. So regardless of who came to your mind, regardless of whom you're thinking about, what I'm going to share with you over these next two episodes is going to be completely applicable. The Inspiration Behind Forgiving What You Can’t Forget This episode is not intended to be a therapeutic session. It is not intended to be a full-out coaching session, even though coaching obviously will help you. And I do work with all of my clients on this process of forgiveness. Lysa TerKeurst, President of Proverbs 31 Women wrote a book called Forgiving What You Can't Forget. If you know anything about her story, Lysa was married for nearly 30 years to a man who was a habitual cheater. And her lifestyle is very public, especially for those in the Christian community. Many Christian women know who Lysa TerKeurst is as she has a very prominent ministry. She has lived this whole debacle out in the public eye. I have nothing but respect for her. I did a YouTube video on this very topic of her story on forgiveness about how I applauded her, really, for leaving this very toxic marriage. You all know me. I am for marriage. I am pro-marriage. I don't take divorce lightly at all. But in her situation, she was married to a man who she had given grace upon grace upon grace upon grace, chance after chance after chance after chance. They publicly renewed their wedding vows, and this man committed to being faithful and loyal and he wasn't. So she finally made the decision that she was going to need to walk away. And I know that that took a lot of courage. I'm sure that there are people who probably disagreed with her decision, and I'm sure that it was really like a battle within herself to even get to that point. But through her pain, she wrote this book called Forgiving What You Can't Forget, and that is really what inspired, obviously, the title of this podcast. Recommended Books on Forgiveness Another book I'm going to recommend to you is called The Book on Forgiving by Desmond Tutu and his daughter Mpho Tutu. Obviously, those are African names. This is such a good book. I originally got this book, I don't know, maybe three years ago. I think it was like right at the start of COVID. This book is really about a lot of what Desmond experienced coming out of apartheid and how he learned how to forgive. But it's not just the apartheid story, because most of us have not had that experience. But he really teaches about these tenets of forgiveness. And one of the most profound things, I think, that I have probably ever read in my whole life was out of this book. He talks about the fourfold path to forgiveness. The Fourfold Path to Forgiveness Today I'm going to teach something that I've never taught befor

Ep. 148- 7 Reminders for Women in Struggling Marriages As I prayed through this episode, I asked the Lord, “What do you want your ladies . . . the women in struggling marriages to know?” If you imagine God the Father is so good as he is, whether you know Him or not, whether you believe in Him or not, he's still good and he still loves you, whether you acknowledge his presence or not. I imagine God the Father saying, “Come to me.” He is calling us into his presence and saying, “I have some things that I want you to know. I know that your marriage is struggling right now. I know that you're sad a lot. I know that you feel hopeless a lot. I know that you think that you're never going to make it out of this. I know that you're comparing your marriage to other people's marriages and you're scrolling through Instagram and looking at all the beautiful, happy couples and wondering why your marriage can’t be that way. I know you're looking back at your wedding photos and wondering where everything went wrong. I know that you cry at night and you think that nobody else hears you, nobody else sees you. Friend, I want you to know that there is a God in heaven who sees you and that no tear that you have ever cried is wasted. And maybe you don't even know how to pray. Maybe you've given up on prayer. Maybe you don't think prayer works. I'm going to encourage you today that God still sees you. And he sent me today to give you some reminders that while your marriage is struggling, you are not. 7 Things to Remember About Your Struggling Marriage 1. You are not alone. If I had somebody to tell me this when I was in the throes of all of my marriage dysfunction, that would have meant the world to me because I felt alone. I felt like I was the only person that was going through this. I felt like I was the only person who had a crappy marriage. I felt like everybody else “got it,” and somehow we didn't. And I felt alone in my own home. There’s no worse feeling than when you're married and feeling alone, feeling like the very person that you committed your life to is unreliable. The very man that you pledged your everything to, you can't stand on him, you can't support. He doesn't support you. He's not who you imagined that he would be. And that can be really hurtful. I want to tell you that you're not alone. What do I mean by that? I mean that there are many women who are in your shoes. And unfortunately, because of this whole shame thing, which we're going to talk about in just a second, we often don't share our stories with one another. A lot of times we go through marriage problems and life even alone, because we're afraid to reach out, because we don't want to be judged we don't want people to look down on us. We feel like we should be farther ahead than we are. And so because we're not reaching out and because other people are not reaching out to us, we believe that we're alone. But I want to tell you that you are not alone. 2. You have nothing to be ashamed of. When you are hurt by your husband for some reason, it's like you take on that shame. If you've ever been cheated on, you've ever gone through infidelity, you know exactly what I'm talking about. You will take on the shame of what your husband did to you. If your husband is verbally or emotionally abusive to you, you will take on that shame of his choices and you will feel like you did something wrong even though you didn't. Now, I'm not saying that you're a perfect wife and you don't have your things to own, but what I am saying is that you have nothing to be ashamed of that is not yours. If you are not the one causing the marital distress, you do not need to be ashamed of the marital distress. We are way too often embarrassed by our husband's choices, and you don't need to feel like that anymore. What he is doing is his doing. ALSO READ: How to Deal with Shame in Relationships 3. You are a better wife than you think you are. We are so hard on ourselves, ladies. We are so idealistic. I think that sometimes gets us into trouble. It gets us into beating ourselves up because we feel like we should be doing more. We should love our kids more. We should love our husbands more. We should cook more, we should clean more, we should work more. We should be more successful. We should have more money. We should “bring more to the table.” We should always be doing more, more and more. I have this little placard in my home office, and it says, You have enough. You do enough. You are enough. I look at that from time to time, because I can sometimes think, Dana, you could be doing more. You could be doing better. You could be doing it faster. You could be doing it greater, even in my marriage. I want you to know, Sis, that you're a better wife than you think you are. I promise you, if you were to ask your friends and your children, they would tell you that you are a better wife than you think you are. So start giving yourself some credit here. Are you doing everything perfectly? N

What's Your Fighting Style? Conflict is a normal and healthy aspect of any relationship. So we don't have to be afraid of it anymore. We don't have to run away from conflict. We don't have to pretend that it's not there. We don't have to try to dress it up as something else. It is what it is. However, conflict is not fighting. When we “fight,” we all have a fighting style that’s our go-to approach to handling conflict. When I'm saying fighting for the sake of this episode, I'm not talking about “throwing blows.” I'm talking about how you deal with conflict. When something arises in your relationship and you disagree with your partner, you're having conflict, that conflict then turns into more of just a disagreement, but you're almost at a stalemate. How do you handle that? What is your fighting style? Three Fighting Styles The three specific styles are as follows: attack-attack, attack-defend, and silent-silent. In the attack-attack style, both partners are on the attack and cannot hear each other, making it impossible to solve problems and leading to a destructive cycle. In the attack-defend style, one partner is attacking and the other is defending themselves, creating a tit-for-tat dynamic that is not productive in resolving the underlying issues. In the silent-silent style, both partners avoid confrontation altogether and allow issues to fester and grow. Why Does Love Feel Like a Battlefield? You are never going to find the solution to whatever the situation is because if you’re spending so much time attacking one another. It's almost like you are in a battlefield. You've now become an enemy, a combatant of your partner. Years ago, singer Jordin Sparks actually wrote a song called Battlefield. Here are some of the lyrics of this song . . . See if you can relate. Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield? You know that song so this is how it goes. Okay. Don't try to explain your mind I know what's happening here One minute it's love and suddenly it's like, love is a battlefield. One word turns into a war. Why is it that the smallest things tear us down? My world's nothing when you're gone. I'm out here without a shield. Can't go back now. I never meant to start a war. You know I never want to hurt you. Don't even know what we're fighting for. Why does love always feel like a battlefield? Listen to Battlefield here Why does love always feel like a battlefield in your relationship? You feel like there is nothing that you do, nothing that you say is going to make a difference because your spouse is looking at you as the enemy. Or, you see your partner as the enemy. Break Free From Fighting To break out of these fighting styles, one person in the relationship must wave the white flag and prioritize the relationship over being right. Remember, your partner is not the problem; the problem is the problem. You are on the same team! By taking a step back and examining the real issue, couples can work together to find a solution. In order to move forward from fighting, couples must reframe the way they approach conflict. Instead of seeing it as a competition or an opportunity to prove who is right, couples should view it as a chance to grow and strengthen their relationship. If necessary, couples should take a “time-out” during particularly heated moments to allow both parties to cool down and come back to the conversation from a calmer and more rational place. Links Mentioned in this Episode: Episode 87: The Silent Treatment vs Arguing Register for the upcoming Thrive Wives workshop SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

The Power of Conflict: How Disagreements Can Strengthen Your Relationship Can conflict actually help you connect? The whole reason that I wanted to do this episode is to help you to understand that conflict can be a great asset in your marriage. Conflict can actually be a great asset in any relationship if you understand how to use it. Conflict is like a tool. And if you learn how to use the tool correctly, then you're going to find that it's not such a scary thing when conflict shows up in your relationships. So we have a jam-packed episode today, you guys. I'm going to be sharing lots and lots of skills, tools, and resources with you. But before we get into all of that, I want to ask you to do me a favor. Right after you finish listening to this episode, I would love for you to write a podcast review, especially if you are listening to this on Apple podcast or Spotify. Let me tell you why there are so many people who find out about this podcast by word of mouth. Shaun and I were in a restaurant, eating dinner with some friends. We were outside, and a couple walked past the table, and they were like, "I love your podcast. I love your podcast." And I was like, Oh, my gosh, I'm feeling famous. You know what I mean? And it was such a cool experience. But then, about ten minutes later, this other woman walks by our table, and she's like, "Oh, my gosh, I love your podcast. I listen to it every single week!" Why am I sharing this with you? Because both the couple and the woman who walked by heard about my podcast from a friend. So when you share this podcast, you have no idea the seeds that you are planting in your friends' lives. They might hear an episode that I did way back in 2020 or 2021 that will help to save their marriage. So by writing a simple review, you are helping this podcast to be found by people who really need it. So thank you so much for doing that. Let's Talk About Conflict So I like to talk about conflict, okay? I am not conflict-avoidant at all. Now, when I say that to people, it doesn't mean that I like to stir up trouble either. I don't like to create conflict. I'm just not afraid of it because I have learned that conflict is a tool in your marriage. But it's also a tool in any relationship. If you're a parent and you're dealing with conflict with your children, you can use that conflict to draw you closer to the relationship that you have to teach you more about your child, to teach you more about yourself. And of course, you can just sparse that out into any relationship that you're in. So I want to be able to give us some real practical takeaways today. As you listen to this episode, we're going to be talking about conflict as connection. If you've listened to my show for a while, you know that I talk about connection a lot. I'm going to give you five quick reasons, and I might throw in a bonus as to how conflict is connection or how conflict shows up as connection in your relationships. So the first thing is that conflict gets you talking. When you start to have issues in your relationship or issues in your marriage, there's some sort of disagreement, right? It's going to keep you talking. Now, you might not always say the right things or say them in the right way, but at least you're talking. You're getting your feelings out. You're sharing your emotions. You're being authentic, you're being honest about how you truly feel and what that particular thing is bringing up in you. Conflict Teaches You How to Speak Up So let's say, for example, you are having a disagreement with your spouse about parenting. My goodness, that happens to all of us in that connection. It might come up that you realize that when you were growing up, your parents were overly critical of you. Maybe you've never really thought about that before and how that shows up in your parenting, but you get into an argument with your spouse and you're like, you sound just like my dad. You sound just like my mom. My mom was always overbearing. My mom was always critical of me. And you didn't even realize that you were saying that until the words came out. Now, your spouse might not appreciate that you just said that about them, but if your spouse and you can take a step back and go, whoa, wait a minute. Okay, so this isn't really about my spouse. This is about my parents, and I'm being triggered by something that my spouse is doing. But, at the end of the day, I just had an epiphany. I just realized that I'm still dealing with some trauma or some struggles or some bad memories of how I grew up and how I felt like my parents treated me. And I'm kind of taking that out on my spouse. So when you're in conflict, it can help you to connect to your spouse because it gets you to talk. It gets you to say the things that you've been stuffing down inside. It gets you to say the things that you're thinking about, but you're not necessarily talking about. And so in that regard, conflict is a great connector. Conflict Teaches You When to

Truth’s Table: Race, Theology & Relationships - with Ekemini Uwan and Dr. Christina Edmonson Today we are so blessed to have with two midwives of Culture for Grace and Truth, Ekemini Uwan and Dr. Christina Edmonson, of the highly acclaimed and award-winning Truth’s Table Podcast. I have been listening to their podcast for a couple of years and when Hannah, our podcast editor, reached out to tell me we were going to have them on the show, I could hardly contain my excitement. Truths’ Table is a go-to podcast in the black, Christian community, and has even been featured on Grammy Award Winning Hip-Hop Artist, Lecrae’s album, All Things Work Together. Ekemini Uwan Ekemini and Christina share their much-needed perspectives on politics, race, culture, entertainment, and gender filtered through an accessible yet robust Christian theological framework. Ekemini is a public theologian and also a contributing writer for Hallmark Mahogany (which is my favorite brand of greeting cards by the way). Christianity Today named her among "10 New or Lesser-Known Female Theologians Worth Knowing. Ekemini has appeared on MSNBC, and her insights are quoted by NPR, CNN, The New York Times, The Washington Post, and The New Yorker among other publications. Ekemini is also single and shares her perspective on today’s show on living single. She writes a chapter in the book called Hidden in Plain Sight: A Single Black Woman’s Manifesto. Dr. Christina Edmonson Christina holds a PhD in Counseling Psychology, a Masters degree in Family Therapy, and a Bachelor’s degree in Sociology. She speaks and writes on leadership development, anti-racism, and mental health issues. Christina has been married for over two decades and shares some powerful truths about mutual submission and healthy marriage. Truths’ Table podcast, featured on Grammy Award Winning Hip-Hop Artist, Lecrae’s album, All Things Work Together and their book called Truth’s Table: Black Women’s Musings on Life, Love, and Liberation has been nominated for the 54th NAACP Image Awards! Get excited!! Let’s welcome the show Ekemini Oowan and Dr. Christina Edmonson. Relationships are complex as it is, but adding race to the mix can make things even more challenging. The ladies offer insights that could help us all navigate these relationships more thoughtfully. Colorism and Light-Skinned Privilege One of the most important themes that emerged in the episode was a conversation about colorism in the black community and the importance of acknowledging privilege. Christina spoke candidly about how the lighter-skinned privilege she experiences can lead to resentment and confusion in relationships with other Black women. She also recognized how societal and historical factors have contributed to her privilege, saying "It's hard to recognize my privilege because it feels like denying the pain and experiences of other people.” Dr. Christina Edmondson emphasized that it's important to reflect on our own privileges and how they impact our relationships. For example, she spoke about how Scripture has historically been interpreted primarily by men, and how this can have implications for how women are perceived in relationships. Men often hold positions of power in society and the church, and their hermeneutic might be self-serving in order to gain validation they don't get elsewhere. This conversation around privilege intersects with the topic of colorism, or the bias against people with darker skin tones, which can be especially damaging in relationships between Black men and women. Society has conditioned us to see lighter skin as warmer and kinder, and darker skin as mean and cold. Ekemini spoke about her own experience with colorism, where people have made negative assumptions about her personality or intellect based on the tone of her skin. ALSO LISTEN TO: Race Conversations 101: How to Have Civil, Compassionate, & Courageous Conversations About Race Submission in Marriage While the conversation around race and privilege can feel heavy, we also offered some practical insights that could help people to navigate relationships more effectively. Since this is a marriage podcast, we had to discuss the concept of submission in relationships. Christina spoke about the fear or discomfort some women may have around the idea of submission, but pointed out that mutual submission in a couple's relationship assumes equity, unlike a hierarchical relationship between a child and parent. Submission in a couple's relationship requires both partners to lay down preferences, and is ultimately an expression of love. Dating Challenges in the Social Media Age The episode also touched on the challenges of dating, particularly in the age of social media and dating apps. Ekemini spoke candidly about her own experiences, and how she prefers to meet people through mutual connections. However, due to the constraints of modern dating, she also uses dating apps. She is looking for someone who loves God, has good e

Confessions of a Crappy Christian - with Blake Guichet Are you a Christian who struggles with some aspects of the faith? Do you have more questions than answers? Today, I’m talking with Blake Guichet, author and podcast host of Confessions of Crappy Christian, about her story of the deconstruction and reconstruction of her faith. We ask and answer some questions we had and still have about the Christian faith. We also discuss how we, as Christians, need to develop the art of better listening skills, especially when talking to someone about matters we disagree on. I truly believe we are all capable of honoring others even when disagreeing on values and/or beliefs. There are some “non-negotiables” about the Christian faith that are sacred, like the authority of Jesus Christ and what his death and resurrection signifies. However, there are “minors” that some Christians “major” on that only perpetuate a divide within our own faith and the impending faith of others. The Curious Christian Blake and I discuss how, as parents, it is very important to allow space for our children to be curious . . . to ask all the questions about the Christian faith we want them to embody. As children, we were both disappointed with a lot of the pat answers we received when we asked real questions about faith, gender roles and rules, and other topics. That experience taught me to truly listen to my curious children and keep listening to my curious self. The curious Christian is a growing Christian. The day curiosity leaves and replaced with certainty is the day faith is no longer needed. It’s okay to not understand every aspect of the Christian faith. It’s okay to not have all the answers you’re seeking either. Faith is indeed, “the substance of things hoped for; the evidence of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1). Deconstruction of Destruction? “A lot of what I feel is happening today isn’t deconstruction but destruction,” Blake said, when I asked about her take on the topic of deconstruction in culture today. She goes on to say that people aren’t necessarily asking questions about faith in order to rebuild what needs to be rebuilt; they are just leveling the whole thing when they don’t understand something. When Blake went through her questioning and deconstructing phase (which is ongoing, by the way), her goal was to extract the inaccuracies she had been taught in order to replenish her faith with what is real and true and still holds. I can attest to this myself. I am grateful that we serve a God who is not afraid or offended by our questions; who is not moved off his throne by our doubt. He is able to keep what we have committed to him (our hearts) through any and every season (2 Timothy 1:12). Links Mentioned During This Episode How Connected a Partner Are You? Take the Free Quiz! Learn more about Blake and Hear Her Podcast SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Overcoming Father Wounds - with Kia Stephens Fatherlessness is at an all-time high. The pain of growing up without a dad isn’t something that just leaves you. Today, we’re talking with Kia Stephens, author of Overcoming Father Wounds: Exchanging Your Pain for God’s Perfect Love. Kia shares her story of what life was like growing up with an absentee father and the road she walked to forgiveness. You’ve likely heard of daddy-less daughters and fatherless families. But what isn’t often talked about is what is required on the part of the abandoned child (who is likely now an adult) to bring healing and wholeness to their life. Abandonment Breeds Rejection Kia acknowledges the rejection she felt by her father’s abandonment. Without a doubt, abandonment breeds the seed of rejection in our lives. Many grown men and women today are still hurting from the rejection they felt once their dads left. Typically, fathers provide a deeper level of identity and affirmation to a child, so when he is not there, that child is left with wounds that are hard to heal. Kia calls these affirmation wounds, love wounds, and acceptance wounds. But what about moms? Can’t moms fill in the gaps for the gaps absentee fathers leave? Unfortunately, no. Though the role of mom is very important, it’s the covering of a father that most children crave. Rejection makes us feel unwanted. Kia tells a story of a friend who casually mentioned building a bookshelf with her dad. The pain of that simple story made such an impact on Kia as she realized she would never build anything with her own dad. There would be no camping trips, long conversations, or other “normal” things that many girls that did have their fathers around would experience. And there again, the cycle of rejection is solidified. Physically Present But Emotionally Absent Maybe your father was physically present but emotionally absent. That can hurt just as bad, and sometimes even worse. If you grew up with a father who was an alcoholic or other kind of addict, emotionally absent, abusive, etc., you likely dealt with the same father wounds. Let this be a charge to the fathers who are still present in the home: proximity doesn’t equal presence. Being present is being fully vested in the relationship: body, mind, and soul. Forgiveness is the Key The only way to heal the wound of fatherlessness is through forgiveness. Kia talks about the process she had to walk through to forgive her father. And hear me, forgiveness is not optional. I know that it’s hard, but forgiveness is not just for the other person, but ultimately for you. When you forgive, you set yourself free from the shame, the pain, the loss, the sorrow, the anger, and the need to retaliate. You become free even if/when the other person can’t or won’t acknowledge what they did to you. Kia was encouraged to write a forgiveness latter: basically a letter “getting it all out there.” The caveat is that you don’t actually send the letter to the person who harmed you (in this case, your father), but you use it as a powerful tool of asserting your feelings, thoughts, and emotions. Again, forgiveness is for you. ALSO LISTEN TO: The Power of Forgiveness: Release Them, Restore You There’s much more to this episode! Be sure to listen to the episode in full. Links Mentioned in this Episode Get Kia’s book Overcoming Father Wounds Learn more about Kia at kiastephens.com. How Connected of a Partner Are You? Take the Free Quiz! SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Overcoming Living with an Emotionally Absent Spouse - with Beatriz Vargas Do you know what it’s like to feel emotionally disconnected from your spouse because he/she is emotionally absent? The pain of that kind of disconnection is real, and it’s far too common. Joining us on this episode is Beatriz Vargas, host of The Grace-Fueled Wife Podcast, who shares the story of how her husband walked out on their marriage after being emotionally disconnected and how their marriage was restored afterward. What Defines an Emotionally Absent Spouse? What actually defines an emotionally absent spouse? In Beatriz’s case, her husband had all but checked out on the marriage. They were living in the same house, sleeping in the same bed, but were totally disconnected. Other disconnected marriages might involve the majority of the communication centering around the logistics of the marriage but lacking intimacy in the marriage. What defines an emotionally distant marriage to you? Change Can Cause Disconnection We all know change is important to a healthy marriage, but sometimes when one spouse changes too quickly or too drastically, it can cause disconnection in the marriage. Say one spouse loses an incredible amount of weight and quite literally become a new person. If their spouse isn’t 100 percent on board with this change, it can cause emotional distance and reveal hidden jealousies, fears, and insecurities. In Beatriz’s case, she talks about a time when she began to grow spiritually. Her husband didn’t grow at the same pace as she did, so she stepped in and decided to “hook him up” with some Christian men she thought could help him. That backfired, and her husband seemed to withdraw all the more. I had a similar experience with Shaun. You’ll have to listen to the episode to hear that story, but suffice it to say we probably shouldn’t make “playdates” for our spouses . . . especially when they are already emotionally disconnected. Be sure to listen to the full episode and be encouraged that even if there is emotional distance in your marriage, you can overcome! Links Mentioned in this Episode: The Grace-Fueled Wife Podcast How Connected of a Partner Are You? Take the Free Quiz! SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

She Deserves Better: Overcoming Toxic Teachings About Sex - with Sheila Gregoire Did you grow up believing what you now realize was toxic teaching on sex? Maybe your church, youth group, or family told you that as a girl you were somehow responsible for the lust of men. Yep. We’re going there. Joining us on today’s episode is popular author and speaker, Sheila Gregoire, who co-wrote the book She Deserves Better. Sheila and I talk about some of the toxic teachings on sex that the evangelical church (and other entities) promoted. Some of these teachings include things like, “Boys will be boys,” and “Girls are a stumbling block for men,” which in a sense is teaching men that they are not responsible for their own lust, but girls are. We also talk about how parents, moms especially, can shift the conversation from blaming young women for the sexual advances and inappropriateness of others. Toxic Teaching on Sex Can Be Triggering As you listen, you may be triggered by some of the toxic teaching on sex, especially if you were hurt by adults you trusted. This podcast is not meant to stir up those feelings, but it is meant to be a breath of fresh air that we no longer have to repeat these teachings to our daughters (or sons!). She deserves better, and so do you. It’s time we start telling the truth about modesty, purity, lust, and sin. It’s time we put the responsibility back on those in whom it belongs. It’s time we start living in the freedom that Christ gives and not allowing ourselves to be “under a yoke of bondage” (Galatians 5:1). Does this mean we should throw modesty and purity out of the window? Absolutely not. It means that we learn to have the right conversations and we teach a balanced, biblical, and honest view of sexuality and its expressions. Be sure to listen to the full episode and be ready to rethink how you’ve believed or how you believe. Links Mentioned in this Episode Register for the Thrive Marriage Mastermind Get Sheila’s Book: She Deserves Better Listen to Sheila’s Podcast Episode 24: Rethinking Intimacy: Rethinking Sex with Sheila Gregoire SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Overcoming Unrealistic Expectations in Marriage In this episode, we discuss the unrealistic expectations that people have in their marriages. You should have expectations in relationships, but it is important to learn how to manage and overcome unrealistic expectations. You've likely heard, "No expectations, no disappointments," but I think that's a terrible way to live in a marriage. What are your expectations? What are you looking for? We will explore where these expectations come from and whether they are realistic or not. Also, we'll talk about the importance of communicating your expectations to your partner. Unrealistic vs Reasonable Expectations We'll start by discussing the difference between unrealistic and reasonable expectations. Often, people have expectations that are unrealistic, and that leads to disappointment and frustration. For example, expecting your spouse to be your best friend or provide a beautiful home may be reasonable but is it a realistic expectation for him/her? It's important to examine where these expectations come from and whether they are truly important to you or not. Where Do Expectations Come From? Next, we'll explore where these expectations come from. Expectations can come from a variety of sources such as family of origin, religious beliefs, media, culture, personal desires, and other people's expectations. We'll take a closer look at the expectations that are rooted in religious beliefs or cultural norms and whether they are realistic or not. Again, what might be realistic for one spouse may be unrealistic for another. ALSO LISTEN TO: Setting Realistic Expectations in Your Marriage Communicating Your Expectations In this segment, we'll discuss the importance of communicating your expectations to your spouse. Often, people have unspoken expectations, assuming their partner should know what they want. However, unspoken expectations can lead to disappointment and frustration. I'll provide some tips on how to effectively communicate your expectations and ensure that both partners are on the same page. 5 Common Unrealistic Expectations I share about five unrealistic expectations that people often have in their marriages. These include expecting your spouse not to change, thinking you can change your spouse, expecting your spouse to make you happy, assuming your spouse should know what you're thinking, and expecting your spouse to be like you. How can spouses overcome these unrealistic expectations in their marriage? We'll discuss why these expectations are unrealistic and how to reframe them to create more realistic expectations. Finally, I share several solutions to overcoming unrealistic expectation in your marriage and how your marriage can benefit from proper communication, Remember, unspoken expectations can lead to unmet desires, which leads to unnecessary disappointment. Links Mentioned in this Episode: Sign up for our FREE Thrive Marriage Mastermind Workshop! How to Create a Vision for Your Marriage SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Overcoming Separation, Infidelity, & Dysfunction in Marriage - with Joseph & Madelyn Stallings Welcome to this episode of our podcast where we're joined by Joseph and Madelyn Stallings, who have graciously agreed to share their journey through infidelity, separation, and marital dysfunction with us today. Joseph and Madelyn have known each other since childhood, and on today's show, they talk about their journey towards a more healthy and thriving marriage, despite the numerous hurdles they've faced along the way. The Importance of Premarital Counseling We start by discussing how they met and their premarital counseling experience. Like Shaun and me, the Stallings have known each other since childhood. Joseph’s parents did their premarital counseling, but he doesn't recommend this. Neither do I, because couples tend to not be forthcoming when a family member (especially parents) are facilitating their pre-marital counseling. ALSO SEE: Why Should I Get Premarital Counseling? We delve deeper into the importance of premarital counseling and how it can help couples overcome childhood wounds and trauma that can seep into their marriage. An Unexpected Result of their Separation The Stallings experienced several separations in their marriage: some lasting for just a few months, and the longest over a year. Then, quite unexpectedly, Madelyn gets pregnant. She shares her experience of becoming pregnant with someone else's child while she and Joseph were separated, and how they worked through the emotions of it all. Only by God’s grace were they able to reconcile and work through the pain of that choice. Disconnection Leaves You Vulnerable to Infidelity We talk about the importance of staying connected and avoiding disconnection, which really makes your marriage vulnerable to infidelity. As Joseph puts it, "You can't let your emotions drive, but you can't put them in the back trunk either.” Basically, don’t allow your emotions to run your relationship, but withholding how you’re truly feeling only leads to disconnection in your marriage. After their last separation, things began to take a turn for the worst again, and this time it was Joseph who was unfaithful. Joseph shares his story of having an affair and the steps they took to heal and move forward. We discuss the importance of understanding the real source of pain and how it can help couples to stop hurting each other and to find the real source of their healing. Through their journey, Joseph and Madelyn have learned the importance of honesty, transparency, forgiveness, and communication. They remind us that marriages can truly endure more than we imagine, but through God’s grace, forgiveness, and a lot of “heart work,” we can make them work. Thank you for tuning in to this episode, and we hope you find it insightful and helpful in your own journey towards a healthy and thriving marriage. SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Overcoming Fear in Marriage Introduction: Welcome to this week's episode of our podcast, where we explore the topic of fear and how it affects marriages. Fear is a natural reaction to the unknown, but it can also be debilitating and prevent us from fully experiencing intimacy in marriage. Today we'll discuss how fear can be the root of all intimacy problems in marriage and how to overcome it. Segment 1: Fear - Fear is not all bad. It can be a warning sign that something is wrong, and it can motivate us to take action. However, fear can also immobilize us and prevent us from taking risks or trying new things in our marriage. We need to learn to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy fear and understand how to respond appropriately. Segment 2: Courage - One of the best definitions I've heard for courage is choosing to act in spite of fear. Courage isn't the absence of fear. If you never feel fear, there is no need for courage, actually. We need to learn to face our fears and push through them. It takes courage to be vulnerable in a relationship, to risk being hurt, and to trust our spouse. Segment 3: There are different fears in relationships, including the fear of being hurt, the fear of rejection, the fear of being made a fool of, the fear of your spouse cheating on you, the fear of losing yourself in your marriage, the fear of losing control, and the fear of being fully known, amongst others. These fears will lead to intimacy problems in marriage if not addressed. Segment 4: How to Get Rid of Fear: To overcome fear, we need to acknowledge that it's there and not hide or deny it. We can ask ourselves, "What's the worst that can happen?" Then, prepare for the worst-case scenario. We can also "trust in the Lord" (Proverbs 3:5-6) and renew our minds with His word, worship, and our words. Conclusion: Fear can be the root of all intimacy problems in marriage. But by acknowledging our fears, facing them with courage, and trusting in the Lord, we can overcome them and experience deeper intimacy in our relationships. As Psalm 34:4-5 says, "I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame." Links Mentioned in this Episode: Ep. 14 - How These Hidden Fears are Ruining Your Relationships Get Your FREE e-book: 5 Relationship Mistakes that are Wrecking Your Life: danache.com/relationshipmistakes SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Overcoming Financial Infidelity in Marriage Financial problems is the #2 reason for divorce in our country. So it makes sense that we tackle the issue of financial infidelity in marriage. This goes deeper than just having money mindset challenges or spouses disagreeing on how money is spent. Financial infidelity speaks to the deception that a couple may find themselves facing when keeping secrets or telling lies about how money is spent in the marriage. Joining us for this conversation is the founder of Pacific Capital, Chad Willardson, who coaches high earning entrepreneurs to create more wealth and focus on wealth planning in their lives and businesses. Chad has been married for over 22 years, and is the father of five children. He has been featured on Inc., Forbes, The Wall Street Journal, and more. He has written the books Stress Free Money and Smart Not Spoiled. I loved hearing Chad’s story of how he grew up to appreciate living a life of generosity, which, I believe is foundational to the success he’s experiencing today. We discuss how married couples can and should be honest about their spending practices, how to challenge their limiting beliefs about money, and where to start to recover if finances have taken a toll on the marriage. Chad shares his best tips and resources to help couples get out of debt, create wealth, and live a life they love. To learn more about Chad, visit https://pacificcapital.com. Links Mentioned in this Episode: Follow Chad on Linked In Finding Financial Peace in Your Marriage - with Austin Black SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Finding Joy in the Midst of Pain - with Nicole Jacobsmeyer Today we are so blessed to have with us one of our new podcast friends. Her name is Nicole Jacobsmeyer. Nicole is a speaker and author and a mom and she is lovely. I loved this conversation that we had today. We talked a lot about joy and what does it mean to have joy? Because so oftentimes y’all, we go through things in our lives and we get knocked down to get back up, maybe in your relationship. You felt like your relationship or your marriage was totally destroyed or you've been knocked down and you're really struggling trying to get back up, getting back in the game of life and going on with what you know that your purpose is. Nicole has written a book called Take Back Your Joy and I love the subtitle, it's “fighting for purpose when life is more than you can handle.” I don't know about you, but I have been through some seasons of my life where I have felt like it is just too much. Like it's just too much Lord. I don’t know why you think I can handle this. Like Lord I didn't sign up for the strongest warrior battle plan, okay? So, what does it look like to have joy? What does it look like to have peace? What does it look like to know who and whose you are and the midst of going through really, really traumatic times in your life? Here are some snippets of our conversation: A Broken Christian Home Nicole: I grew up in a Christian home. I had a wonderful upbringing and then it wasn't until my late teens and early 20s that I just had a lot of awful things happen to me and surrounding me. And one of those was my dad shared that he was living a double life. And so this unfaithfulness our family was very devastating. I had an abusive verbally and mentally abusive volleyball coach, which was really detrimental to my faith and my character. And then shortly after all of this, I had a horrific experience and was actually raped. And this culmination of pain made me really doubt God's consider a joy when trials come my way. And when I read specific scriptures, it didn't feel true. And so, overall these years, then just a few years ago, I was diagnosed with cancer, we lost a baby, we moved across the country, I was single parenting. My husband was in the medical field and he was just so slammed at work. And I just found myself asking those same questions that I did, you know, prior. And so this idea of joy and suffering and becoming who God wants me to be really made me understand that it was through the pain that he started to use these different qualities in me now, which I mean, I wouldn't wish this upon anyone, but I'm very thankful that God is actually doing what he said he will do, which is producing us character and hope and endurance and joy because of the pain that we face like it says in Romans. So it's been a journey. And a hard one. Dana Che: Wow, it's been a journey for you. So your parents become kind of that that physical representation of who God is to you, so I can understand like when that is broken, it does break the trust that we have with God, like if these people that say that they love me unconditionally who are right here break my trust, then why should I believe that a God who I can't see and who I don't really know for sure is there that he won't break my trust. When you were vin college, where were you in your faith journey? Developing a Real Relationship with God Nicole: Ever since I committed my life to Christ, you know and said this “sinner's prayer," at just such a young age I think our entire life is growing in a relationship of Christ and so I didn't experience a lot of hardships growing up and I while I would like to say that I had a firm foundation It wasn't tested, you know It wasn't tested through the fire to come out more purified living in like the head knowledge and truly loving the Lord, truly wanting to read my Bible and do the right thing and surround myself with good people and go to Wednesday night Bible studies and prayer groups. I wanted to do those things, but I don't think that it's like there's a different aspect into your relationship with Christ and trusting him when pain and trials really do come. ALSO READ: Purpose in Pain That experience (the assault) really made me go deep into the word. I've trying to figure out what does this mean because now I no longer just read verses and just think, oh yeah, that's true. It's like, I have to know that I know that I know that, you know, God is good and why and looking back and seeing what he's done for me. And really, maybe I missed the point of the entirety of the gospel at that point in my life. Maybe I missed the sacrifice that he has, you know, given us. And I maybe overlooked that and It was just while I would like to say I was very strong in my faith, I think that I was just so broken after that. That is hard to say exactly where I was. Yeah. So how did you reconcile that whole question? Because that's a real question like God, if you are good and so many pe

How to Know When It’s Time to Divorce In this episode, we are discussing the difficult topic of divorce. Although I am pro-marriage through and through, there are times, sadly, when divorce may need to occur: abuse, adultery, abandonment, and addiction. While divorce is never easy, sometimes it is the only option left for individuals to protect themselves and their families. We explore each of these situations and provide information on how to recognize when it may be time to consider divorce. When to Divorce: Abuse Abuse can come in many forms, including physical, emotional, and verbal. It is important to recognize the signs of abuse and know when it is time to seek help. I do not believe a marriage can be saved when there is physical abuse present. I always advise individuals to seek help and safety if they are being physically abused. The National Domestic Violence Hotline can be reached 24 hours a day at 800-799-7233. We also address the common misconceptions surrounding abuse and why leaving an abusive relationship is often the best course of action. Emotional abuse is different. I believe couples need to seek therapeutic help to determine if mental illness is a factor or if a spouse is simply being mean or a jerk. This is tricky, because all abuse is harmful, but not all cases of emotional verbal abuse warrant divorce. Should We Divorce Because of Adultery Adultery can be devastating to a marriage and can leave individuals feeling hurt, rejected, and betrayed. No matter why the infidelity happened, the betrayed spouse needs to know it was not his/her fault. My marriage story includes our journey from adultery, and in no way was it easy. However, just because a marriage has gone through adultery doesn’t mean it is irretrievably broken. Your marriage can heal after adultery. In the Bible, the prophet Malachi issues a strong warning to the men to not treat their wives “treacherously” because God hates divorce (Malachi 2:14-16). Too many have focused on the “God hates divorce” part without considering these verses in their proper context. Divorce, in that time, was “cruelty” to women (verse 16). Women in those days had no way to provide or protect themselves. And since God loves his daughters, he hates divorce. Plus, it violates covenant, and God is serious about covenant. Is Abandonment a Reason to Divorce When a spouse walks out on the marriage, it can be devastating. Abandonment isn’t only a painful experience for the spouse who stayed but also any children that might be present. This leads to feelings of loneliness, rejection, and betrayal for those left behind. One of the best Scriptures that pertain to this is I Corinthians 7:15: “But if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the believing husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace.” If a spouse walks out on you, you are not required to go chase down behind them or wait for years for him/her to return. Addiction Ruins Families and May Be a Cause to Divorce Addiction can have a profound impact on a marriage and can cause significant stress and strain on a relationship. Most people agree that addiction is a disease and usually required professional help to overcome. Addiction is messy, and often non-addicted spouses feel guilty for filing for divorce. While I do not counsel couples to divorce, I do advise them to see carefully weigh the positives and negatives in their decision to stay with an addicted partner. There must be firm boundaries set in cases where addiction is wrecking a marriage. ALSO READ: How to Live with An Addicted Spouse Divorce is never an easy decision, but sometimes it is necessary to protect oneself and one's family. In this episode, we explored four common situations that can lead to divorce: abuse, adultery, abandonment, and addiction. It is important to remember that seeking help and support is essential during this difficult time. I believe there needs to be a lot of support and wise counsel before one makes the difficult decision to divorce. Links Mentioned In this Episode Episode 6: On the Brink of Divorce to a Different Choice - with Javier and Christina Llerna Episode 83: A Marriage Restored After Divorce, Drugs, & Deconstruction - with Chris & Steph Teague SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Feeling, Dealing, and Healing from Rejection - with Nicole Langman Welcome to this episode of our podcast where we will be discussing the topic of how to deal with and heal from rejection. Rejection is a common experience that everyone goes through at some point in their life. It can be a painful and difficult experience to deal with, especially when you’re rejected by a spouse or someone you love. It’s important to understand that rejection is not a reflection of our self-worth. In this episode, I talk with clinical therapist, Nicole Langman, who wrote the book You are Wanted: Reclaiming the Truth of Who You Are. We explore different ways to cope with rejection and how to heal from it. Understanding Rejection Let’s start off by exploring what rejection is and how it affects us. Rejection is a normal part of life, and it can come in many forms such as rejection from a job, rejection in a relationship, or rejection from a friend. It’s important to understand that rejection can be painful, but it doesn’t define who we are as a person. Nicole and I also discuss how rejection can affect our mental health and the importance of taking care of ourselves during these times. Coping with Rejection Nicole shares the painful story of how her husband walked out on her after more than twenty years of marriage. That rejection did a number on her soul, until she remembered who she was. It’s important to know that rejection can cause soul wounds, triggering abandonment or loss feelings we may have suffered from in other relationships. This is where narrative therapy really helped her and some of the people Nicole has worked with around this issue. In this segment, we also discuss different coping mechanisms for dealing with rejection. This is where knowing your identity in Christ is crucial. When you know who He says you are, no matter how someone has rejected you or made you feel, you can heal more quickly from their actions. Nicole and I also talk about the importance of acknowledging our feelings and not suppressing them, as well as the importance of seeking support from those who love us. Some other self-care practices like exercise, meditating on God’s word, getting out of your head, and even journaling can help us cope with rejection. ALSO LISTEN TO: How Apathy and a Lack of Interest is Silently Killing Your Relationship Healing from Rejection Lastly, we will talk about the process of healing from rejection. Self-reflection is important here and we can use the experience of being rejected as a learning opportunity. We also talk about how forgiveness is an important part of the healing process, both for ourselves and for the person who rejected us. Finally, we will touch on how to move forward from rejection and finding the courage to love and trust again. Rejection is a difficult experience to go through, but it’s important to understand that it’s not a reflection on who we are. By acknowledging our feelings, seeking support, and engaging in the healing process, we can cope with rejection in a healthy way. Through self-reflection, spiritual practices, and forgiveness, we can also heal from rejection and use the experience as an opportunity for growth. Remember, rejection may have hurt, but it doesn’t have to destroy you. With time and resilience, we can move forward and find true healing as we remember that God can use anything, even rejection, for our good and His glory. LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Nicole’s Langman's website Get Nicole's Book: You are Wanted SIMILAR PODCAST EPISODES ON REJECTION: Episode 122 SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Black Marriage: Behind the Scenes (Black Love)- with Early and Cherese Jackson Black marriage, like any other type of marriage, is complex and multifaceted, evolving over time. Historically, black people in America have faced numerous challenges when it comes to love, dating, and marriage. My guests on today's podcast are Early and Cherese Jackson. Married for nearly fourteen years, the Jacksons discuss how an "independent black woman" and a confident, unintimidated black met, married, and are walking together in business and ministry. It's a behind the scenes look at a real marriage. A healthy marriage. An example of a good marriage. Emotional Support Truthfully, whether you're black or not, you need the emotional support of your spouse. Cherese discusses how she often needs her own space to create and be herself. Early, understanding his wife's temperament and needs has learned to adjust and give her the emotional support she desires even while not physically being in her presence. Parenting Dynamics When it comes to parenting, most couples will disagree on some levels. Usually, one parent is "softer" than the other, which causes one parent to be more of a disciplinarian. Couple that with a blended family, and you have a recipe for hurt feelings and disconnection. Or . . . you have an opportunity for true unity and compromise. Early and Cherese chose the latter, learning with a limp, as they blended their family together. From present-day systemic racism, black couples have had to navigate a society that often fails to value and support their relationships. Despite these challenges, black marriage has persisted, and in recent years, there has been a resurgence of interest in celebrating and elevating black love. That's the entire reason I did this #blacklove series on the show. Thank you for taking this journey with me and celebrating the stories of black love. LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Connect with Early and Cherese and New Direction Coaching Get Your Free 7 Secrets to a Healthy Marriage! SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

8 Blessings & Burdens of Growing Up Black (Black Love) Growing up black was a blessing, but there were facets of how we grew up that could also be a burden. In this episode I discuss the strengths, weaknesses, blessings and burdens that come with growing up in a black family. Whether you’re here to learn about what it was like growing up black, here to learn more about your black friends, or wanted a message to resonate with, this episode dives into my experience as a black person growing up in America. I noticed that a lot of the blessings and burdens are indicative of our black community. The reason I wanted to showcase these things is because I feel that they are strengths that our community can glean from, however sometimes they can also be weaknesses. Here are the 8 blessings that can also be burdens. Being Independent Growing up black, I think one of the greatest things that I learned was independence. Being independent taught me never to rely on other people for my success. It's taught me how to get stuff done on my own. It taught me that I can do more than I realized. Being black you realize you have to do things by yourself. I was a latchkey kid. This taught me a lot about independence. However, on the flip side of that coin, independence can make us reject the support from others. There's this strong sense of pride in our we have, which is great, but sometimes the burden of it is that it can make us so independent that we don't know how to get along with others. Show Some Respect The second blessing that I learned growing up black is respect. Now I have a very high version of respect for others. This also caused me to have a very high appreciation for authority. Growing up as a black kid, you didn't call grown ups by their first name; you addressed them by Mrs, Ms., or Mr. (insert last name). Growing up black, there was such a level of respect in our community. On the flip side, it can become a burden. When you don't develop the greatest relationships with your children, because you’re hyper-focused on respect, it turns more into “Yes ma’am, no sir.” vs “Hey Mom, hey Daddy.” Discipline Your Kids Number three of growing up black taught me discipline. I learned how to be a disciplined person. On Saturday mornings, my mother would wake us up with her loud gospel music and that was our cleanup day. She didn't care that we were out of school that day and we wanted to relax, this was chore day! That taught me that you need to get stuff done. You don't just lay around and not participate in the community you live in. We're a part of a community, our little family. The burden is that sometimes we can be too disciplined, too rigid, and too stoic in our beliefs and our behaviors. Growing Up Black Takes Strength We learned strength growing up black. We learned how to be strong and tough. Not only physically strong, but also emotionally strong. It taught us how to not let life tear you down. Black folks were going through some difficult times. You couldn’t let the happenings in society tear you down because you would be completely weak. On the flip side of that, sometimes that strength can make you too hard and unemotional. That takes a lot of work to undo. Resiliency Makes Us Strong Number five is my favorite thing to talk about. Resiliency is similar to strength, but resiliency is really having the ability to bounce back after getting knocked down. When I was young, I watched my mom go through all sorts of craziness in her life. She just kept getting back up even though she might get knocked down again. Nothing, it seemed, could keep her down. I learned that for myself as well. Unfortunately resiliency can sometimes make you stay in unhealthy or toxic relationships or friendships. It can cause you to not want to ever give up on things, even though “giving up” may be the best, healthiest thing for you. You Have To Be Resourceful My mom always knew how to make something from nothing. Growing up black, we learned all you need is a little to make something work. Learning how to be resourceful allowed me to use what I had at the time. It taught me creativity on a whole other level. This, however, can become a burden, because resourcefulness can breed a scarcity mentality. If you're always thinking you don’t need a whole lot, then you won’t expect what you actually deserve. This scarcity mentality can ruin relationships, so be aware of that. Family Matters What a blessing to have the rich legacy that black families provide. Family always came first. For the most part, black culture has a very family-centric focus. Having a close knit-family brought so much fun and laughter into my life. Cousins and family abounded everywhere. However, having a close family culture can also cause some burdens. Sometimes our families can meddle a little too much in our business. Because the family ties are so close, people will be up in your business who don’t need to be. It’s so important to learn how to set boundaries because of

The Myth of the Broke & Broken Black Family (Black Love) - with Kevin and Wanda Turpin We’re celebrating black love on this Valentine’s Day! And I’m dispelling the myth that most black families are broke or broken. The truth is there is a resiliency and strength that is foundational to many healthy black marriages and relationships. Today, I’m joined by one of my pastors, Kevin Turpin, and his wife, Wanda. The Turpins have been married 44 years! Below are some snippets of our conversation as we delve into what they learned from their parents’ longstanding marriages, how they overcame communication problems in their own marriage, and what they think their greatest legacy as a family is. What Did Your Parents Teach You About Love Dana Che: The fact that both of you guys have both of your parents. I love that because I feel like a lot of the stereotype is that all black people grew up in single parent homes and no black people grew up with their fathers. And both of you are living witnesses of the opposite,. You both grew up in families that were intact. Not perfect, I'm sure, but healthy. Wanda: And we even grew up with our grandparents being married, that probably also, Dana, was a benefit to our marriage. I’m sure had our parents had some tough times, but you just don't leave. You work it out. Now, there are some things harder to get over than others, but you work it out and you stick it out until hopefully it does work out and your marriage makes sense. We saw strong marriages growing up. Black Love: Elevating Not Excluding Dana Che: When we say black love, this is not meant to be racially exclusive. We want everyone here to feel included. But I also want to make sure that we elevate black love, especially during Black History Month. We are elevating what black love is, how resilient, how strong it is. Pastor Kevin, let me just start off by telling people we have a big value of marriage counseling and marriage coaching on this show. I know Shaun and I sat across the counseling table from you many times in our relationship, and you've counseled quite a lot of couples, not just in our church, but just couples in general. Let me ask you, just kind of starting off this conversation, if you had to say, over the course of the many couples that you have counseled, what do you see as kind of the main foundational problem that a lot of couples are facing? Couples with Communication Problems Kevin: I would say communication on so many different levels. And part of it is not understanding the wiring of the other person or warning the other person, really, to think and to act, to make decisions the way that person makes them. And that's impossible because there's a book called His Brain, Her Brain. We’re wired differently in every facet. Women and men are different. That sounds trite, but it is a truth. So what I attempt to do is to help through various tools, help couples really see how God has wired them so they can understand. Again, this took now what I can give to couples, maybe in four or five sessions, it took me half of my marriage to learn, 45 years to learn it myself. But once you come to understand, one, that you're different, and two, you learn to appreciate those differences. That's when you're on a good road to healing, a good road in terms of understanding how to work with each other in unity and in harmony. So I'll stop there, but communication is at the top. Dana Che: All right. So let's talk a little bit about you said. It took you, like, 20-25 years to learn. So what was going on with you and Wanda? What were the communication challenges that you were seeing in your earlier years of marriage? Kevin: Well, in our earlier years of marriage, I came in with some unusual baggage. I was very religious, sincere in my passion for God, loved not only God, but loved the church. So much so that I did one thing. I'll tell you this quick story. When I we were married for five years, four years before we had our first child, five years before we had our first child. And I had developed this regiment. On Friday nights, I go to church. I come home, work all day, one that works all day, become home, and I go to church because I was a musician. So at 06:00, I need to rehearse the choir, and then following that was a church service at around 08:00, so I wouldn't get home to about nine or 10:00 that night. Okay. So when we had Kevin, I picked Wanda up. It was a Friday that she came home. We came in the house and I said, okay, sweetheart, you got everything. And guess what I did. Dana Che: You went to church after your new baby had just been born? Kevin: It took some time for me to live that way down, but that was an issue that was out of total ignorance, and it really sent a really bad message to her, to where she felt, okay, this is the way my life is going to be. I got to find a way I'll stay long enough to get things stable for my son, but I don't know if I could stand this relationship. I didn't have a clue, the me

From DUI & Deception to Deliverance (Black Love) - with Shaun Williams My hubby Shaun is back with today! We spill the tea on how we met, our tumultuous dating, including a tragic car accident & DUI, the ups and downs of getting pregnant and married at a young age to where we are today. Whew! The first real situation we experienced together was at Shaun’s senior prom. I left with one of my guy friends and Shaun, in a drunken rage, followed and ended up in a car accident. One of the lowest moments in my teenage years was this night. Shaun totaled his car and went to jail. After the accident, we didn’t see each other because my mom wouldn’t allow me to see him. Shaun lost his football scholarship, experienced depression, and was shipped off to boot camp. Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder Once Shaun decided it was time for change, he left for boot camp. He really felt that this experience helped grow him into a man. He would write several letters to me as he was away, but I was never the long distance type. After many months of being away, Shaun returned from boot camp and ended up running into my mom and me at the mall. Shaun said he was getting married (which was a lie), but once I got ahold of this news, I knew I couldn’t let this happen. We slowly rekindled our relationship and got back together. Surprise Visitor It was time for me to go off to college and Shaun decided to join me. One month into college, we got a big surprise. I was pregnant. This news completely changed the trajectory of our lives. I knew that it wasn't possible for me to raise a child in a dorm room, so I knew I had to drop out and leave college. Since our church taught us that we must get married because we’d had a child out of wedlock, we married at 18 and 21. Ahem, not advisable. Early Marriage Infidelity Shaun and I experienced so many struggles when it came to being new parents and newlyweds. We suffered from infidelity on both sides and experienced a really tough relationship in the earlier years. It got so bad that I didn't think that I would be able to continue on with this marriage. It was extremely challenging trying to build a family foundation when nothing in our life felt stable. We both knew something had to give. It was time for us to both start working on ourselves, creating a relationship with God and healing things that held us back from being all we knew we could be. ALSO LISTEN TO: Rebuilding Trust: Rebuilding Us: Our Journey Out of Infidelity Turning Shadows to Light We both knew that there was healing needed in order to allow our relationship to survive. I got my relationship with the Lord back on track, and my life completely changed. Shaun got therapy and started realizing who he actually was. We both started healing from things that caused us pain in the past. It sounds super simple, but it’s true: this healing really allowed us to come together and create the family that we have today. Through God's love, grace, and guidance, we were able to not only survive our marriage but thrive in our marriage. Our journey from DUI, deception, near-divorce, and doubt has led us to sharing our testimony with as many people as we can. We are a living witness that if God can do it for us, he can do it for you too . . . if you’re willing to surrender, forgive, repent, and let him make you new. Listen to the full episode and share with someone who can use some encouragement in their marriage today. Links Mentioned in this Episode Learn the 7 Secrets to a Healthy Marriage Teen Pregnancy, Parenting, & Talking to Your Kids About Sex How to Get Your Spouse to Go to Marriage Coaching SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

5 Ways to C.O.V.E.R. Your Marriage in Prayer One of the most important things you can do for your marriage is to pray for your marriage. Learning communication skills, conflict resolution techniques and intimacy hacks are great. However, if you’re leaving your marriage uncovered by failing to pray for your spouse and your marriage, it will always be vulnerable to attacks. Prayer is an essential guiding tool to get you and your spouse on the same page and create unity in your marriage. In today’s episode I am sharing with you about my acronym C.O.V.E.R. which teaches you how to specifically pray for your marriage. Pray with Compassion I believe that when we are praying for our spouses, we need to start with compassion. Ephesians 4:32 says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God has forgiven you.” Think about that for a moment. How are you treating your spouse? Are you treating him/her with kindness and compassion, or are you holding grudges? Are you being kind? The first thing to remember when you go to pray for your marriage is to go to God with a heart of compassion and love. Pray in Oneness Marriage is all about becoming one. The goal of marriage is not simply to become happy; the purpose of marriage is that you and your spouse become one. Did you know your marriage is a living witness of the realness of who Jesus is? Pray for your marriage that you and your spouse will walk in oneness. Get on the same page as your spouse and become unified. Let go of the idea that you need to “win the fight” or get your point across or have your own way. Start embracing the journey of becoming one with your spouse. Pray with Vigor When you pray for your marriage, let your prayers be vigorous. Your prayers should be full of effort, energy, and enthusiasm. Isaiah 40:29 says “He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless.” God gives strength to the weary. He is the one who gives us power and energy to put in the effort. When you put in the love, commitment, and vigor into your marriage, God will deliver. Pray with Expectation I am always talking about praying with expectation. It’s time we all start to pray with expectation, not just hope for the best. When we go to the Lord, we go with a heart of expectation. God hears you when you pray and is willing to make moves on your behalf. When we go to God, we pray to God expecting that he will deliver. It’s important to pray for your marriage with with a heart of expectation and also to have faith in the answer to that prayer. Start praying for victory from a place of victory. When you pray, believe what you are praying for and watch God make himself known in the most magnificent ways. Pray with Readiness Are you ready to obey what you hear? Prayer is a dialogue. First you pray, then you get quiet and listen to hear what God has to say back to you. Sometimes you may not like what God has to say in return. You have to be ready for the Spirit of the Lord to give you guidance that you may not want to hear. When you pray for your marriage, really listen in order to get direction. When you pray for your marriage, be ready to take action. Luke 11:28 says, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.” If you want God to speak to you, then you need to be ready to obey. Listen to the full episode to hear some specific areas I recommend that you pray for in your marriage. There is no prescribed way to pray. Simply pray from your heart and then listen to what God speaks back to you. Prayer is powerful! Now it’s time for you to get to praying. Links Mentioned in this Episode Download your 7 Things Free Resource Today SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

What to Do When Your Marriage or Vision Dies What happens when your marriage or your vision dies? What are you to do when the dream you had for your marriage seems like it has come to the end? As a married couple, you may find yourself at this difficult stage, but I believe even then, there is an opportunity to save your marriage. Today, we're going to church! Sort of, anyway. This episode was inspired by a story in the Bible in Luke chapter 8:41- 56 about a man who thought he lost a very important thing to him . . . something that looked like it, too, had died. Friends, I want you to know that the pain and suffering you may be going through right now is not the end of your story. Do Not Be Afraid: Have Faith over Fear When hard times come, fear gets louder. When our marriages don’t go as expected, we allow fear to creep in and overwhelm our emotions. This fear will not help to repair the problems. Don’t be afraid of what’s on the other side. Oftentimes, when conflict and issues arise in marriage, the first thing we want to do is run. We start going down the rabbit hole of what life could look like if our marriage does truly fail. That thought process doesn’t help anything. Don’t be fearful of what could go wrong. Stand in faith, remembering the marriage and strength you’ve created thus far. Fear will try to creep in. Fear can exist, but it’s the conscious decision to choose to walk in faith in spite of fear. The Bible says we must walk in faith, but what does it mean to have faith? Faith is the substance of things hoped for; the evidence of thing yet unseen (Hebrews 11:1). When you have faith in God and his plan, you can believe strongly that it will work out. When you are in those moments of fear overcoming every thought, return to God. Ask him for the strength you may need to believe in the plan that he has for you. Words Have Power What are you declaring in your marriage? So often we speak negatively about our lives and our marriage, resulting in those things coming to life; resulting in the death of our marriage vision. Words matter, friends. When we speak limiting beliefs out loud, that is what we will see in our life. The power of the tongue can proclaim the vision in your life. Words create worlds. Think about how you are speaking and how it has affected your life. Are you going around saying positive or negative things about your marriage? My hope for you is that you can declare what you want for your marriage. Speak in the direction that you would like to see for your own marriage. After speaking what we want, it’s important to take on full faith that the declaration spoken will come to life. Get People Out of Your Business Are there people who could be bringing your marriage down? There could be outside opinions that are constantly telling you how to conduct your marriage. These outside opinions typically aren’t helping, and they could even be hurting. Turn off social media and stop comparing your relationship to other people's relationships. Quiet the noise that you are hearing from people outside of the marriage. It’s time to come together as a team and figure out the issues alone without being impacted by other people’s thoughts. Marriage Vision Dead Just Temporary Pain? Your marriage vision might not be dead after all, but rather just going through a temporarily painful time. It may feel like it’s permanent but really it’s temporary. This too shall pass. When you have faith, you can trust that God has the power to resurrect even the deadest of marriages. Do not give up on the thing that you have worked so hard for. Have faith and believe in your marriage again. You can heal and come out stronger from the trials you are experiencing. This doesn’t have to be the end for you. Links Mentioned in this Episode Thrive Wives Group Coaching 7 Secrets to a Healthy Marriage Free Resource SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

When Your Marriage Vision Gets Blurry January is the time where we focus on the vision for our marriages, relationships, and lives. If we are not intentional with our marriage vision, we will experience vision loss in marriage. In today’s episode I talk about how it may be time for us to take a deep look inside of our vision statement to see if we are really practicing what we are believing for. Do You Have a Vision? The first thing to look at is if you have a vision for your marriage. If not, refer back to the episode 126: How to Create a Vision for Your Marriage: My Step-by-Step Process. Having a vision is so important to understand where you're at, where you're going, and where you want to be. It may seem like common sense, but you could be experiencing vision loss in your marriage by simply not having a vision. Be sure to listen to this hilarious story around the 22:30 mark! Prioritize Your Marriage It’s important to stop and really take a look at what is important in your marriage. Where is the place in the relationship that you think needs more nurturing? When we pause, analyze and figure out what is most important in our marriage, it allows us to really prioritize the things we want and need the most. Take a look at your vision with your partner. Understand where you are, where you want to go, and what is most important right now. Vision loss in marriage can happen if both people are not focused on what is most important. Marriage Goals & Alignment It’s time you and your spouse get very clear on what your goals are together. Both partners in the relationship should be on the same page when it comes to the marriage vision. If this is not happening, vision loss in marriage can start. Come together, agree on the things you both want, and create a plan of action. Make sure that there aren’t competing visions that could make you work against each other. This is what unity in marriage is all about. When you become aligned in your marriage vision, you will see your marriage strengthen. Tweak & Set New Goals Your marriage vision may need to be tweaked from time to time. Maybe there were situational changes that no longer align with your original goals and vision. It’s okay to change aspects in your vision. Like most things in life, sometimes we need fine tuning to get it just right. Maybe you and your spouse are high achievers and you are ready to work on something new. Creating new goals in marriage is a way to get clearer on your vision as a couple. Perhaps you’ve started to feel stagnant, leading to vision loss in your marriage. Get a fresh perspective and set some new goals together that you can achieve. Sometimes all we need is something fresh and new to get us going again. Drastic Measures May Be Needed Course correction may be needed if you feel like you are turning your wheels in the mud. Feeling stuck in your marriage calls for drastic measures. Sometimes couples may need a vision correction. I share a similar example of how I took drastic measures with my physical vision when my health become jeopardized. It’s possible that some things may have changed when you created your original vision. Change is okay, as long as it works for both people in the relationship. Evaluate your vision, acknowledging where it’s gotten blurry, and decide on a course of action to focus on your marriage vision again. Links Mentioned in this Episode Thrive Wives Group Coaching Starts Soon! SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

How to Create a Vision for Your Marriage - My Step by Step Process So you're convinced you need a vision for your marriage, but what is the step-by-step process to actually creating a vision for your marriage that both you and spouse can grasp? Get ready to nurture and grow your marriage into the one you’ve always desired. Let 2023 be the year you begin creating a marriage vision. I go through this exercise with every one of my coaching clients because of how transformative it is. This is hands down, one of my most favorite topics because of how valuable this exercise can be in your marriage. In today’s episode I teach you how to create a vision in your marriage and how to live by it. Remove Distractions Step one to begin creating a vision in your marriage is to get in a quiet space and remove distractions. If possible, I recommend going away for a day or two to get some focused alone time together. This will allow each of you to be removed from everyday distractions and settle into the exercise of creating your marriage vision. If that’s not possible, get some quite focused time together right where you are. This can be done in a coffee shop, a long drive, a walk around your neighborhood, or even in your undistracted bedroom. This time is about being focused together to create the vision. Pray Together as a Couple There are so many benefits of praying together as a couple. When you pray, you invite God into the decision making process of your life. Step two of creating a vision in your marriage is to pray. This is time for you and your spouse to come together and ask God where you need to head in the next year. Allow him to lead you and show you his vision for your life. When you invite God into this time, he will help provide the answers for the direction you and your spouse should go in your vision. Write the Vision, Make it Plain When you write something down, your brain tends to remember that thing more than if you just think about it. Step three is writing down every word that comes to mind when you think of the marriage you desire to have . Both husband and wife will start by writing down positive words about your marriage. This list should be exhaustive and helpful in creating a vision for your marriage because it gets all the ideas on paper. In writing these words, you will start to think about how you would like to shape your marriage in a more positive way. This is the part in the process where each partner can freely write whatever they desire in the marriage. Together, you should have around 25-30 words written down. Highlight What Resonates After you write down the words, you will circle or highlight the words that resonate with you and your partner the most. Step four is taking the words that you and your partner felt most connected to and bring them to life. You will then use these words to create short phrases for creating a vision in your marriage. Use the words to come up with a few solid sentences that could be used as your marriage vision statement. Write Your Marriage Vision Statement Once you have some phrases identified, begin to start forming some sentences. These sentences should be coming from language that you and your partner already use. You really want to embrace authenticity when it comes to creating your marriage vision. Remember, this is your vision statement together! Both husband and wife need to participate equally to feel heard and be excited about this. This is your future after all. Give yourself some time to go through this exercise. This may take a few iterations to get your vision statement to a good place, but it’s worth the time. Repeat Your Vision Out Loud The time has come for you and your partner to rehearse the vision statement out loud. Memorize this special sacred statement that you can return back to each day together. Each person must memorize the vision statement and continue to keep this vision in the forefront of their mind. Together as you rehearse, you will remember the importance of creating a vision in your marriage. Links Mentioned in this Episode Episode 125: Why You Need a Vision for Your Marriage with Gaby Sundra Real Relationship Talk SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Why You Need a Vision for Your Marriage - with Gaby Sundra Having a vision for your marriage is essential if you want to go the distance. Plus, a marriage vision is a helpful tool that can keep you and your spouse on the right track. Today’s guest, Gaby Sundra has created her own playbook that helps couples create a long lasting marriage that will thrive as they create a vision for their marriage. Creating a vision is about two people coming together, discussing their desires and goals, and working together to build something beautiful. In this episode, Gaby shares tools and tips on how you can start creating a vision in your marriage today. Ownership, Compassion & Creativity We all know marriage takes a lot of work. The magic comes in identifying the work that is helpful to making your relationship thrive. The start of creating the vision for your marriage begins with Gaby’s acronym OCC that stands for ownership, compassion, and creativity. Each person in the relationship typically has their own healing to do in order to show up as the best partner. This is what it means to take ownership of your own “stuff.” It’s also important that you own your needs and desires. Compassion starts with you giving yourself compassion and then your partner too. Gaby said, “Express compassion for their experience.” When you are able to show your partner a little compassion, it lets them know that you are there to support them. Creativity comes into play when solving issues in the marriage. Creative thinking can be used to give some options as couples work together and through the problem. Creating a Vision for your Marriage Imagine if you could create a vision for your marriage. It’s SO possible to create a blueprint of what you want your marriage to look like and create that in real life. Often times we focus on what the problem is and not what we want to happen. Creating a vision is about defining what you want the marriage to look like. When you stop focusing on the story of what you don’t want and focus on the need you want met, the vision can start to come alive. Creating a vision for your marriage is all about getting super clear on what you both desire as a couple, writing it down, and speaking it into existence. It takes work from each partner to fully embody the vision that you see for your marriage. Human Needs in a Relationship What are your needs in your relationship? Marshall Rosenberg says there are seven basic needs; Connection, Physical Well-Being, Honesty, Play, Peace, Autonomy, Meaning. Gaby said, “All conflict is, is us struggling to get our needs met. If we can get away from the story and move into the need we want to have met, that is the essence that’s trying to work through the conflict.” Rather than expecting your partner to be a mind reader knowing what your needs are, tell them your needs! When we can communicate what we want, how we want it, and what we desire, it can help create that vision in your marriage. A Marriage Vision that Honor your Desires Your desires mean something good about you. When you can communicate what you desire in your marriage, this will help get clear on your vision for marriage. Gaby said, “The word I hear most often when couples share their visions is, ‘relief.’” This relief is created because couples can actually get on the same page of where they want their marriage to go. Honoring your desires is an act of self love and an act of love in the marriage. Two people can come together and build something so beautiful and sacred when they get clear on each of their desires, create a vision for your marriage and grow. Links Mentioned in this Episode Gaby’s Free Playbook Gaby Sundra’s Website SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Your Faves - Top 10 Episodes of 2022 Can you believe we are already winding down 2022?! This year has been filled with so many blessings for me and this podcast. On today’s episode, I share the top 10 episodes of 2022. This year I had the opportunity to have conversations with some incredible guests that were able to bring you some of the top relationship and marriage advice! Number 10 - The Lowdown on the Hookup Culture (episode 74) This top 10 episode of 2022 was a part of our “Shameless Sex series.” I dedicated this particular episode to my single men and women as many have remarked how “it’s rough out here in these dating streets.” Society seems obsessed with free sex. The hookup culture is alive and well, and it’s not just millennials or Gen-Zers engaging in sex on demand. In this episode, we discuss five reasons the hookup culture is no bueno and five practical steps to exit right out of it. Listen to The Lowdown on the Hookup Culture Number 9 - The Silent Treatment vs. Silence (episode 87) This may have been one of my top episodes of 2022 because I sometimes struggle with giving people the silent treatment. This was a part of our “Communication 101 series.” In case you didn’t know, I dedicated an entire series to the art of communication in relationships. The main takeaway from this particular episode is that there is a difference between the silent treatment and silence. Silence can actually be very good and healthy in your relationship, but the silent treatment never is. Listen to The Silent Treatment vs. Silence Number 8 - 7 Ways Men Destroy Their Marriages (episode 94) This episode was for my fellas. Guys, your wives have been trying to tell you that you’re destroying your marriage.. Truthfully, it’s most likely that your marriage might be falling apart in many more ways than one, but we’re talking about the big ones here. If you’re humble and open enough to receive this wisdom, it will change how you show up in your marriage. This top 10 episode of 2022 can help men correct behaviors that may be detrimental to your marriage. Listen to 7 Ways Men Destroy Their Marriages Number 7 - 4 Steps to H.E.A.L After a Broken Heart (episode 103) I know there are so many couples who are recovering from infidelity. I really wanted to create a podcast where we dive deep on giving practical relationship and advice that will help heal the broken heart. Most of us have been through this unfortunate situation at some time or another. It’s never easy mending a broken heart, but it is always possible. This top 10 episode of 2022 will give you the tools you need to start your healing. Listen to 4 Steps to H.E.A.L After a Broken Heart Number 6 - 7 Ways Women Destroy Their Marriages (episode 93) In this episode we talk about how women do things subconsciously that unintentionally destroy marriages. The good news is if you’re still married, you haven’t destroyed your marriage beyond repair. But don’t wait until divorce papers are being filed to reach out for help if you need to. As a marriage coach, I help couples who are struggling all the time. It’s never too early or too late to get help. Listen to this episode and learn seven ways women destroy their marriages. Listen to 7 Ways Women Destroy Their Marriages Number 5 - How Men and Women Communicate Differently (episode 90) In this episode we talk about how men and women communicate differently. Men are from Mars; women are from Venus, they said. How we communicate can differ as men and women. However, I wanted to help you take your communication skills out of this world with this episode, because no matter what society says, there are differences in the genders, especially in how they communicate. This episode has a very special guest, my husband Shaun. You don’t want to miss this one! Listen to How Men and Women Communicate Differently Number 4 - 7 Tips to Become a Better Listener (episode 89) Do you listen to understand or to respond? Here’s the hard truth: most of us are not good listeners even though we think we are. In this episode, you’ll learn seven tips on becoming a better listener and the art of wholehearted communication. I’m super passionate about this topic, because I see communication gone wild all.of.the.time. The good news is with a few tweaks, anyone can become a better listener and have more mutually beneficial conversations with those they care about. Listen to 7 Tips to Become a Better Listener Number 3 - 12 Steps to Rebuild Trust in your Relationship (episode 102) Did you know that 1 in 4 marriages will experience infidelity? The good news is half of these marriages will survive it. In this top 10 episode of 2022, I’m giving you 12 practical (but not easy) steps to rebuild trust in your marriage or relationship. This is one episode you will want to refer back to should you find yourself in the unfortunate situation of affair recovery. I truly believe that all is not lost when someone commits adultery. Your marriage or relationship can survive this

5 Free Gifts Your Spouse Will Love This Christmas Christmas is such a beautiful time of the year. It’s a season a giving; a time to come together, spend quality time with those you love, and enjoy each other's presence and presents. But some might not be into presents or able to afford them. So, in this episode, I share five free Christmas gifts that your spouse will love this season. Gift giving doesn’t always need to be focused around monetary gifts. Sometimes a thoughtful, free gift can make Christmas time extra special. The Gift of Passion in Marriage Passion is the number one free Christmas gift you can give to your spouse this holiday season. I want you to think about what passion looks like in your marriage. Where does your marriage need a fresh dose of passion? Passion is creating excitement and igniting interest in your partner and your marriage. Find a place where you can insert more passion into the relationship to create a spark of joy this holiday season. The Gift of Touch There is a statistic that says if a baby is not touched within the first seven days of being born, he or she could die. Touch is so integral to relationships. It literally is so necessary. If you are in a marriage and you only touch during sex, that is a problem! This kind of touch could be a gentle massage, a tight embrace, or brushing your hand on your partner's shoulder. Touch is a free Christmas gift that will help bring you and your spouse closer together. Hugging and other forms of touching triggers your brain to release the chemical of oxytocin, which is known as the “bonding hormone”. This simple and free Christmas gift could bring you and your spouse closer together in a matter of seconds. The Gift of Decision-Making Sometimes spouses who are more laid back spouse have problems making decisions. If they do make decisions, they are extensively cross-examined as to if their decision was the right one. Give your spouse the free Christmas gift of decisions and preferences. Instead of you always creating and implementing the plans, give your spouse the opportunity to choose. This will give your spouse the space to choose something that they prefer to do this holiday season. It’s such a gift when you say to them, “I care about what you care about, and your voice matters.” The Gift of Affirmations Most people love to get compliments. How can you affirm your spouse this Christmas season? I think words of affirmations should be part of your daily rhythm in your relationships. Most of us are so hard on ourselves, so when you have someone who tells you how great you are, it feels really good. One of the best free Christmas gifts you can give this season is the gift of affirmation. You can show gratitude, express appreciation, and tell them how much you love them. When you fill your partner's cup with affirmations, you will see a change in your spouse and in your marriage. The Gift of Peace John 14:27 says “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world gives do I give unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” Peace is an inner knowing that all is well. There is a peace that you can give to your spouse that no one can take away. This holiday season you can set aside your differences and give your spouse the free Christmas gift of peace. Bring peace to conversations that normally may be stressful. Peace starts with YOU. Fill yourself with gratitude and love and pass peace along to your partner to create a nurturing atmosphere this season. ALSO LISTEN TO: A Very Sexy C.H.R.I.S.T.M.A.S SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

The Dating Playbook for Christian Singles - with Kait Tomlin If you’ve been feeling a little lost in the dating scene, this episode will provide you with the Christian dating playbook you’ve been seeking. Kait Tomlin is a dating expert, author, wife, and Christian follower who has turned her pitfalls into passion through forming her own Christian dating playbook. Kait has had her fair share of dating tragedies that she learned to turn into her purpose. Her mission is to help other Christian singles find the love that they so ever desire. Through her work, she teaches individuals to date with integrity while being open to receiving the gifts that God may reveal. The Hookup Culture Over the last 100 years, the dating culture has changed significantly. With emerging technology, negative impacts from media, and decision fatigue, it surprisingly makes it more difficult to find that special person for you. The dating norm has gone from courting a lady, to finding someone at the bar and hooking up. This cannot be the right path, people! This is not the best way to do it. Kait said, “Media has really infiltrated how we view relationships, dating, connection, and the process to get there.” The Christian dating playbook can teach you to step outside of what you see in the media, and lead from the love of God to find your person. Finding a Good Christian Husband Many Christian women find it so hard to find a good Christian man. Kait said, “The reality is that they [men] are not everywhere, but you have to be open that they do exist.” If you allow the bad guys out there to dictate that all men are like that, you will totally miss the good ones. A key piece in the Christian dating playbook is to date the unexpected. We have a giant list of preferences that could be holding us back from finding our perfect person. The key here is to remain open. Preferences often become non-negotiables which can seriously limit the dating pool. When you shift your perspective and focus on core character qualities, rather than preferences, you will see more potential possibilities in dating. Rejection Is Redirection Kait had to go through the struggle herself, to birth The Heart of Dating. Through her rejection, she was able to discover her purpose to help singles find the true love of their life and in themselves. When Kait was blindsided by her ex no longer wanting to marry her, she was shattered. It forced her on a journey to rediscover who she was along with her identity as a Christian woman. When rejection hits, it allows us to go within and ask ourselves deep questions about ourselves. Rejection is part of the equation. It’s possible to feel rejection, but also feel loved and worthy at the same time. The Dating Playbook But First Single and Content The narrative has always been so focused on getting married, having kids, and living happily ever after. That scenario is not always the case for everyone. It’s important to remain content in your singleness and enjoying the gifts that it brings. There is such beauty in spending time alone, learning about yourself, and growing into the best version of you. Remembering that single is a season of your life that is all about you. When we see this time as a gift, it allows us to appreciate what we have. The Christian dating playbook teaches you to also enjoy your singleness, while you prepare for the person God has for you. Links Mentioned in this Episode Thank You For Rejecting Me Heart of Dating SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Raising Culturally-Conscious Christian Kids in a Chaotic Culture - with Catherine Segars Have you and your spouse ever disagreed about how to raise your kids? Disagreements about parenting can wreak havoc on a marriage. Further, raising Christian kids is no small feat. Today, our guest is Catherine Segars, an author, podcaster, speaker, and motherhood apologist who helps parents be a godly example for their children. In our conversation, we discussed the wild ride it is to be a parent. Culture can cause challenges when it comes to raising Christian kids. Catherine provides guidance on how to equip children with a tool belt to help then navigate, make decisions, and grow in a faith that they can call their own. The Importance of Unity in Parenting You’d think that every Christian would want to raise Christian kids, but that is not always the case. When husbands and wives aren’t in sync with the way they parent their kids, it can cause friction in the marriage and family dynamics. Catherine said, “You gotta be united. Kids will sense weakness very quickly.” It’s not always easy for parents to be on a united front when it comes to parenting, but Catherine says this is extremely important to reach the end goal of raising Christian kids. When parents are in sync and on the same page, they will have more success behind raising children that stay in faith. Words Matter When Raising Christian Kids Catherine believes in helping children create awareness around the terms they use and the biblical truth behind those words. So often in culture, words are modified and changed based on the culture’s beliefs at the time. As cultures continue to develop, terms and definitions are skewed subjectively based on the person speaking about the term. Catherine says when raising Christian kids, it’s important that children are taught to be active truth-seekers and challenge the definitions that are being reformed in society. Challenging definitions of truth allows us to make sure we have accurate definitions of words that are consistent with reality and biblical truth. Allow Kids to Question Everything As a parent, you have got to be on your toes in this day and age. Society and culture are trying to teach kids not how to think but what to think. True education is teaching kids how to process information and arrive at a truthful conclusion. We can teach our kids how to look at an issue from all sides, and to figure out the truth of that. It’s important that children have the chance to think and question for themselves in order to arrive at their own conclusion. Parents remember, this is healthy behavior when raising Christian kids. Challenge Labels in Culture We need to start challenging labels in culture and society. Culture labels people and discards them. God does not. If you stand up for truth, you are going to get labeled. Catherine repeating what Jesus taught, said, “The enemy is the father of lies.” We need to have the expectation that we will be labeled if we are standing for biblical truth. As we are raising Christian kids to be resilient and courageous, it’s very possible that it may happen to us. This doesn’t mean we have to put labels on other people. We need to have that expectation we will be labeled, we may get discarded, but we will not operate that way. We can’t operate by the world's standard; we operate by our God’s standards of helping and serving people. It’s key to remember that we, as parents must always lead by example when raising Christian kids. This is how we walk the talk and help our kids to become leaders who love God and love people in a chaotic world. YOU'VE GOT TO ALSO HEAR THIS: Episode 8 - Teen Pregnancy, Parenting, and Talking to Your Kids About Sex - with My Mom, Paula Wynn Links Mentioned in this Episode Catherine Segars Website Christian Parent, Crazy World Podcast SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.