Rebuilding Us: Marriage Podcast

Trust and Accountability in Marriage How many times you have thought, I need to keep my husband accountable or somebody needs to keep me accountable and help me to stop eating Ben and Jerry's at 10:30 at night. When we look at accountability in that way, we are completely missing the foundational truth of what accountability is all about. The definition of accountability is acceptance of responsibility for one's own actions or behaviors. Did you guys catch that? Some of you need to let that sink in. It's accepting responsibility for our own actions, our own behaviors, and our own thoughts. When we think about accountability being external, or being directed at somebody else, we have already started to infringe on somebody else's boundaries, and we are trying to manage that person's behavior. In today’s episode we talk about how accountability should show up in your marriage or in your relationship and then how we can, first of all, keep ourselves accountable. If you're not willing to be accountable to yourself, chances are pretty slim that you're actually going to be accountable to somebody else. So how can you actually become accountable for your actions? And then if you are in a marriage or relationship, how then can you help to support your partner in helping them to be accountable? 4-Step Process to Accountability in Marriage FocusU.com is a website that's dedicated to providing impactful and engaging learning methods. It's really more of a business website, but I love a lot of the knowledge that they provide and find it’s helpful for relationships too. According to them, they actually have a four-step process to accountability. Step 1: See it Step 2: Own it Step 3: Solve it Step 4: Do it You have to muster the courage to see it. To see what? To see whatever the behavior is, whatever the action is that you need to be accountable for. It takes courage to be honest. It takes courage to really look inside of ourselves and to say, you know what, maybe I'm not strong in this area or maybe I'm not as strong in this area as I think I am or as I hope to be. That takes courage and it takes humility to do that. Next, we have to own it. Find it in your heart to own it. When I think about this, the word vulnerability comes to mind. Vulnerability goes a little beyond transparency; it takes it a step further where not only are you able to see me, not only am I showing you the truth of who I am, but I'm also willing to show you my heart, my internal motivations of why I do the things that I do. Not just looking at what I do, but why I do the things that I do. And so when we own it, then we have to be willing to be honest with ourselves, to deny our pride, and to be humble. We have to be willing to apologize for mistakes that we've made. That's all a part of owning it. Thirdly, solve it. Obtain the wisdom to solve it. What does this mean? Put those boundaries in place if need be. It's super important that we understand how to set boundaries in marriage. Another part of solving it is getting the wisdom to solve the problem. Get coaching, get help, get an outside perspective. Read your Bible; just do something, and find solutions to solve the problems that you are facing. Lastly, number four, do it. Exercise the means to do it. What does that mean? That means commit. Commit to doing the heart work. Commit to following through on your commitments. Okay, so now that you've gone through the steps, you've got the courage to see it, you've got the heart to own it. You're seeking out wisdom to solve it. Now you've got to commit to doing it. Holding Your Spouse Accountable A part of accountability in marriage is sometimes helping to hold your spouse accountable. Some of these areas include decisions, finances, sexuality, and technology. The truth is, you can’t “hold your spouse accountable” if they won’t allow you to. If they are open to accountability, you must be willing to offer feedback (positive and negative) and follow through on appropriate consequences. I hope this episode helps you to take your marriages to the next level, to begin to incorporate accountability as a welcome visitor, not like an expired tenant, in your relationship. Because without true accountability, there can truly be no trust. Accountability helps your partner, your spouse, to trust you. It helps you to be a trustworthy person. So embrace accountability and all of its facets in your marriage. Resources Mentioned in this Episode Episode 48: Setting Realistic Expectations in Marriage Episode 49: Setting Boundaries in Marriage Wife Life Coaching Mastermind Follow Real Relationship Talk and Dana Che on Instagram! SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Finally, please leave a rating and a comme

10 Signs Your Spouse Might Be Having an Affair Do you have a gut-wrenching feeling that your partner is being unfaithful to you? In today's episode, I'm sharing some not so obvious signs that your spouse might be having an affair. How do you know if something is really going on or if you're just being overly suspicious? There are many tell-tale signs that will help you to determine if your marriage or relationship has become vulnerable or even victim to infidelity. Don't Ignore the Red Flags It's important to not ignore the red flags. You know when something's off in your relationship, so instead of excusing it, deal with it. After you hear these ten warning signs, it may be difficult to have the hard conversation you need to have, but you must. Infidelity does not just go away on its own. Even if you never find out, the damage done to your relationship must eventually be addressed. There's an old saying that says, "When you see the world through rose-colored glasses, even the red flags just look like flags." In other words, when we choose to have our head in the sand instead of being aware and wise, we will overlook obvious warning signs. 5 Tell-Tale Signs Your Partner is Being Unfaithful Because you will glean so much more out of these warning signs when you listen to the full podcast, I'm only sharing five of the ten here in the show notes. In no particular order, five warning signs your partner or spouse is being unfaithful are as follows: Money goes missing and/or they begin using ATMs all of the sudden There is a lack of friendship, interest, or connection in your relationship Your partner becomes accusatory of your actions They become obsessed with their looks They start staying out late or taking extra “work trips” The other five signs are very eye-opening, so be sure to listen to the episode in its entirety. I want to leave you with this: I truly believe that every relationship has the potential to heal from infidelity. You don't "have" to stay or reconcile, and there are time when you shouldn't. However, if you want to restore your marriage and are both willing to put in the work, it can work. Links Mentioned in this Episode Episode 102: 12 Steps to Rebuilding Trust in Your Relationship When to Divorce Sign up for Wife Life SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

4 Steps to H.E.A.L After a Broken Heart Has your heart been broken due to a painful relationship or have you had your trust violated? Most of us have been through this unfortunate situation at some time or another. It's never easy mending a broken heart, but it is always possible. In today's episode, I'm sharing four ways to heal your broken heart using my acronym: H.E.A.L. These four steps are simple but, I'll admit, not easy. It's important to put to rest the myths concerning healing your broken heart if you are going to experience true and complete healing. You've heard the feel-good mantras like, "Time heals all wounds," or "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." While there may some truth to these, they don't give us the full picture. Time is a good accelerator to healing but it doesn't actually heal you. Listen in as I describe how to actually begin and complete the healing process for your heart, whether you've been betrayed by a spouse, a loved one, a friend, or someone else. These principles apply to all situations. And be sure to share this episode with someone who needs their heart to be healed too. Links Mentioned in this Episode Episode 13: The Power of Forgiveness in Relationships Episode 102: 12 Steps to Rebuilding Trust in Your Relationship SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

12 Steps to Rebuild Trust in Your Relationship Did you know that 1 in 4 marriages will experience infidelity? The good news is half of these marriages will survive it. Today, I'm giving you 12 steps to rebuild trust in your marriage or relationship. This is one episode you will want to refer back to should you find yourself in the unfortunate situation of affair recovery. I truly believe that all is not lost when someone commits adultery. Your marriage or relationship can survive this, but you need an action plan in order to succeed. You Need a Plan You've heard the saying: "Most people don't plan to fail; they fail to plan." Well, that's exactly how affairs happen and that's also how couples whose attempts to rebuilding after an affair go sideways. Again, you need a plan of action. Shaun and I know this path well. We've had to walk it out in our own lives. You can learn all about our journey of rebuilding our marriage after infidelity on Episode 3: Rebuilding Trust, Rebuilding Our Marriage. All is not lost in your marriage, and I believe that you truly can rebuild trust after an affair. Now, let me show you how. Other Links Mentioned in this Episode: Episode 88: The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in Relationships Episode 79: It Will Work If You Work It SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

How to Love Your Spouse When You Don't Like Your Spouse Many couples go through a stage in their marriage or relationship where they don't like each other. You know you should love your spouse, but if you're honest, there are times when you don’t even like them. This episode speaks to that dilemma and will give you some practical steps to take to rekindle the likability in your relationship. If we are ever going to grow into mature husbands and wives, we must first settle on the fact that love is not a feeling. Sure, you can "feel" loving feelings, but love is so much more than that. I learned this the hard way. Due to the marriage problems Shaun and I had for so long, I had started to become hopeless, thinking there was no way I could ever look at him lovingly again. I didn’t like him. I was often angry. I had been hurt too much. The Most Dangerous Prayer I remember back when we'd been married for around five years, I prayed a dangerous prayer: “Lord, teach me to love my husband like you do. Give me unconditional love.” I think that’s when the bottom fell out. I could not have imagined the trials we would encounter or the way God would take me up on my little prayer and teach me how to love . . . His way. God’s love is radical. It’s illogical. And we are so undeserving of it. He shows us this crazy, radical love and then asks us to show it to our spouse. And yes, you can do this even if you don’t like your spouse. I John 4:19 tells us that, "We love because he first loved us." When you realize the Source of true love, it becomes easier to love. In order for God to teach you how to love unconditionally, he has to show you people in their full humanity. #TweetThat. RECONNECTION IS THE KEY TO LOVING YOUR SPOUSE AGAIN In order to learn to like your spouse again, you are going to have to be intentional to find ways to reconnect. So many marriages are in habitual disconnection, caught in the hustle and bustle of life or trapped by past mistakes and unforgiveness. For more on unforgiveness, check out Episode 13: The Power of Forgiveness in Relationships. You can learn to like your spouse even if you don’t like him. A resource that might help you to do this is Keep Your Love On by author Danny Silk. Shaun and I took our marriage small group through this book over the course of a year, and it was super beneficial. Don't turn your love off! You can learn to love AND like your spouse again. If you need more help walking through this, why not schedule a discovery call with me at http://danache.com/coaching. It might be the first intentional step toward a revived relationship for you! Other Links Mentioned During this Episode: Episode 12: How to Stop Comparing Within Your Marriage or Relationship Episode 14: How these Hidden Fears Are Ruining Your Relationship SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

How to Get Your Spouse to Go to Marriage Counseling Why is your spouse so resistant to marriage counseling and what can you do to get him/her to go with you? I’m sharing 7ish relationship tips on today’s episode that you can do today to help your spouse or partner to be more interested in marriage counseling or coaching. Now, off the bat, there is a difference between counseling and coaching, which I share about in the show. You can also see some of the differences between coaching and counseling here. For many years, I tried, unsuccessfully, to get my husband to go to marriage counseling. The more I tried, the more Shaun resisted. So I upped the ante and moved to manipulation and shame. Those two always work, right? Um, wrong. The brother would not budge. I learned some very valuable lessons during that time in our marriage and to keep you from having to go through years of unnecessary trauma and drama, I’m sharing them with you today. 7 or 8 Tips to Get Your Partner to Go to Counseling Decide if counseling is really necessary. Encourage, don’t demand. Have the right motives (Beware of ulterior motives.) Don’t shame, blame, or compare. Work on yourself. Be careful what you wish for. Trust God and pray for a changed heart (yours included). Bonus: Don’t stay in counseling or coaching too long. Don’t just read the bullet points, though. Be sure to listen to the entire episode. I think this one is going to be a game changer for your relationship! Also, friends, WE ARE CELEBRATING OUR 100TH EPISODE TODAY!! Would you help me celebrate by writing a review on the podcast? It takes less than one minute. Thanks for listening. See you next week! Links Mentioned in this Episode Episode 12: How to Stop Comparing Within Your Marriage Episode 98: The Difference Between Nagging & Reminding Join an amazing community of wives in our next Wife Life cohort! SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

How to Stay Connected When You're Apart - with Shaun Williams In the lifespan of a marriage, you are likely to spend time apart, whether temporarily or more long-term. Today, we're discussing some creative ways to stay connected even when you're unable to be face-to-face. This episode was actually Shaun's idea, likely because we have spent a lot of time apart lately due to various business and work trips. We all know how easy it is to lose connection in marriage. Well, prolonged distance makes it even worse. That's why it's important to be proactive and diligent when you know that one or both of you will be away. Shaun and I discuss several times when we've been apart . . . from just a few weeks and even up to a year when he was away on military leave. We haven't always gotten it right, and each time we're apart, we learn more and more of what each other needs and ways we can help ensure the other spouse feels secure and important. I'm sharing some creative practices you can do the next time you or your spouse/partner takes a trip. So, grab a pen or better yet, save this podcast to refer back to. Happy listening! Links Mentioned in this Episode Episode 30: Commuter Marriages with Abe & Elaine Romero from Love in the Air Podcast SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

My Partner Says I Nag: The Difference Between Nagging & Reminding No one likes being called a nag. Truthfully, we're just trying to help our spouse/partner anyway, right? Just how do you tell the difference between nagging and reminding? I'm giving you six simple tips to stop nagging your spouse on today's episode. But first, did you know the Bible actually has something to say on this topic? Proverbs 27:15 says, "An endless dripping on a rainy day and a nagging wife are alike (CSB). The Brenton Septuagint Translation puts it like this: On a stormy day drops of rain drive a man out of his house; so also does a railing woman drive a man out of his own house. Dang. Basically, nagging drives our spouses crazy! It's ineffective communication that can actually cause resentment. How to Stop Nagging There are better ways to ask and even remind your spouse to do something you need. And speaking of reminding, don't do it more than twice. Here are some tips: 1. Ask, don't tell. 2. Be patient. Timing is everything. 3. Make it their decision. (We talked about this on episode 95: How to Get Anything You Want from Your Spouse 4. Use humor. 5. Use a (shared) calendar. 6. Do it yourself. Number six will change your life. Oh, the freedom of learning that you are not at the mercy of your spouse's slowness! If you find yourself nagging, which of these tips can you employ? Enjoy the podcast! And leave a positive review! Links Mentioned in this Episode Join an amazing community of wives in our next Wife Life cohort! SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Quick Tips to Fix Your Boring Marriage - Part 2 Friends, every marriage gets boring sometimes but it shouldn't stay that way. On today's show, I'm sharing some simple solutions to get your marriage out of a boring rut. If you haven't yet listened to episode 96 (I'm Married and Bored to Death!), you'll want to do so before listening today, as we're building on a foundation here. With all due respect, some of what you'll hear today might step on your toes a bit. I'm inviting you into some introspection and perhaps, even, a perspective shift. One thing we have to be careful about doing when assessing the state of our marriages is comparing them to someone else's marriage. It's easy to see the highlight reels of everyone and think we're missing out or we're stuck, when in all actuality, that might not be the case at all. So take a listen and let me know what other tips you'd share with someone who is dealing with a boring marriage. Links Mentioned in this Episode Episode 12: How to Stop Comparing Within Your Marriage Request marriage coaching with Dana Che SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

I'm Married and Bored to Death! If you've been married longer than a week, you know that sometimes marriage can be boring. But, boredom in marriage should only be temporary. In today's episode, I'm shedding light on why marriages grow stale and what's behind the perception that our marriages have gotten boring. For starters, let me say there is a difference between love and the feeling of being in love. If you're chasing "those loving feelings," you will make yourself susceptible to being bored in your marriage. JLo, one of my favorite celebs, has been quoted as saying she "loves the feeling of being in love." Think about that. If someone is looking to "be in love," what happens when the feelings die down? Boredom. It's no wonder why we have a generation of people unsuccessfully "searching for love." Today is part one of a two-part series I'm doing on this topic, because there are some key practices you can do to help alleviate boredom in your marriage. So, be sure to tune in for those marriage tips next week. In the meantime, enjoy today's show as we talk about a topic many married folks will not admit, but likely all have experienced. Ladies, check out my upcoming Wife Life group coaching mastermind launching in the fall! Links Mentioned in this Episode Episode 79: It Will Work if You Work It Episode 80: Feelings aren't Forever Register for the Wife Life Group Coaching Mastermind SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

How to Get Anything You Want from Your Spouse Are you tired of bargaining, manipulating, or arguing to get your needs met in your relationship? Are you frustrated that you can't seem to communicate the importance of what you want in your marriage? In today's episode, I'm sharing eight tips to get anything you want from your spouse (or partner, friend, co-worker, whomever . . . the skills are the same). You will learn how to state what you want clearly and concisely, how to make your partner think your idea was actually his/hers all along, how to make wishes instead of offering criticism, and so much more! There's no need to be frustrated in your marriage any longer. Now, keep in mind, all of these tips can and should be done WITHOUT manipulation. Be sure to listen to the full episode and start improving your ask with your next conversation. Links Mentioned in this Episode Episode 49: 5 Boundaries Every Marriage Needs And be sure to get in on our 9 Day Lovemaking Challenge! International Lovemaking Day is on June 9th. We’re kicked off the challenge on June 1st and have just a few more days left. Get all the deets at http://r.intimately.us/danache. SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

7 Ways Men Destroy their Marriage This one's for my fellas. Guys, your wives have been trying to tell you that you're destroying your marriage in one of these seven ways. Truthfully, it's most likely that your marriage might be falling apart in many more ways than just these seven, but we're talking about the big ones here. If you're humble and open enough to receive this wisdom, it will change how you show up in your marriage. Just to tease you, I'll give you the first three ways men are destroying their marriage: 1. You're not listening to your wife. 2. You're downplaying your wife's emotions. 3. You're working too much. You'll have to listen to the full episode to hear the remaining four ways, and I hope you do, because I want to help couples just like you to get unstuck and start loving and living life again. Oh, and here's some episodes you'll definitely want to listen to as a complement to this one: Links Mentioned in this Episode Episode 28: Need an Intimacy Fix? There's an App for That! with Dan Purcell (All About Sex Series) Episode 70: Can Porn Improve Your Sex Life - with Sathiya Sam (Shameless Sex Series) Episode 78: The Truth About Erectile Dysfunction & Masturbation - with Shawn Bonneted (Shameless Sex Series) And be sure to get in on our 9 Day Lovemaking Challenge! International Lovemaking Day is on June 9th. We're kicking off the challenge on June 1st. Get all the deets at realrelationshiptalk.com/9DayChallenge. SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

7 Ways Women Destroy their Marriages Ladies, do you know that you can single-handedly destroy your marriage with a few bad choices? That’s a lot of power. The good news is that the opposite is also true. You can also build (create, construct, set up, raise) the marriage of your dreams . . . but in order to do so, you must have wisdom. Proverbs 14:1 says, A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands. Sadly, there are many women destroying their marriages, and some don’t even know it. On today’s episode, I’m sharing seven ways women destroy their marriages. Save your eye roll, because next week we’ll discuss seven ways men destroy their marriages. Are you ready for the list? 7 Ways Women Destroy their Marriages 1. UNDERMINING YOUR HUSBAND’S INTELLECT OR ABILITIES 2. CONSTANTLY CHALLENGING YOUR HUSBAND, ESPECIALLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS 3. CORRECTING YOUR HUSBAND IN FRONT OF THE KIDS 4. SHARING YOUR HUSBAND’S ISSUES WITH YOUR FRIENDS You’ll have to listen to the rest of the episode to get the remaining three. The good news is if you’re still married, you haven’t destroyed your marriage beyond repair. But don’t wait until divorce papers are being filed to reach out for help if you need to. As a marriage coach, I help couples who are struggling all the time. It’s never too early or too late to get help. Can you think of other ways women destroy their marriages? I’d love to hear from you. Send me a message, and I’ll feature your response on my Instagram page. Be sure to tune in next week to hear about the 7 ways men destroy their marriages! SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Stop Avoiding Conflict: Do this Instead(Communication 101 Series) Do you avoid conflict at all cost? Maybe you think conflict is a bad thing in relationships or that "good relationships" don't have conflict. Actually, the absence of conflict in a relationship doesn't mean it's healthy; it just means it's likely shallow. If you spend enough time with a person, conflict will inevitably happen. On today's episode, I'm giving you five tips to stop avoiding conflict and what to do instead. It all starts with reframing the purpose of conflict. Have you ever wondered how can conflict actually serve your relationship? What can learn from it? How can it help you to grow? You'll need to also be willing to shed some faulty definitions about conflict and peacemakers. If your goal is to just keep the peace, you will ignore problems, ignore your feelings, and ignore opportunities to actually connect deeper in your relationships. Affirmations to Stop Avoiding Conflict We end the episode with three powerful affirmations you can say every day. 1. I am worthy of being heard and respected. 2. It's okay to feel how I feel. My feelings matter. 3. Approaching this conflict is making me better. Be sure to listen to the entire episode and if you're not also subscribed to the podcast, do that too! Are we friends on Instagram? I've been posting fun (and funny), marriage/relationship-related reels at http://instagram.com/mrsdanache. Let's meet up over there! Links Mentioned During this Episode: Episode 88: Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse Episode 90: How Men and Women Communicate Differently SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

What I'm Not Saying: The Keys to Nonverbal Communication (Communication 101 Series) We all know actions speak louder than words, and this is true, too, for nonverbal communication. It's not what we say, but how we say it. Research shows that only 7% of all communication is verbal, while the other 93% has to do with our tone, volume, inflections, gestures, etc. Sadly, most people don't prioritize the 93% of communication. Words do matter, of course, but what's behind the words matters more. In today's episode I share some practical tips to help you focus on your nonverbal communication and what these specific gestures communicate. It'll be interesting to hear how a simple change in intentionality concerning your nonverbal cues will improve your relationship. Links Mentioned in this Episode Ep. 89: 7 Tips to Become a Better Listener (Communication 101 Series) SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

How Men and Women Communicate Differently (Communication 101 Series) - with Shaun Williams Men are from Mars; women are from Venus, they said. How we communicate can differ as men and women. However, I want to help you take your communication skills out of this world! I couldn't resist. Back by popular demand, we have special guest, Shaun Williams, my hubby of nearly 23 years, on the episode today. He is in rare form, and I think we spent a solid quarter of this episode in hysterics. His shenanigans were on full display. Hopefully, you'll still find tons of value of out today's show. Is it really true that men and women communicate differently? Well, of course, some of these factors are generalizations, but the truth is, we are different. Men actually use different parts of their brain to communicate than women do. The science behind our differences is quite astounding. Add to that society's "norms," and you have yourself a recipe for a communication catastrophe. But it doesn't have to be this way. I'm Different than You If we could understand and acknowledge that we are different than our spouses/partners and that one way of communicating isn't better or worse than the other, we'd be so much better. Truthfully, opposites do attract, and we are better together. Different isn't bad; it's just different. Part of the joy of marriage is learning to appreciate, respect, and honor those differences. And the Winner Is . . . As promised, I announce the winner of our Podcast Review Contest on today's episode! THANK YOU to all who submitted a review. Reviews help others to find Real Relationship Talk and grow in their marriages and relationships. So, please, keep sharing, and keep the reviews coming in! Other Resources Mentioned on this Episode: 7 Tips to Become a Better Listener SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

7 Tips to Become a Better Listener (Communication 101 Series) Do you listen to understand or to respond? Here’s the hard truth: most of us are not good listeners even though we think we are. In today’s episode, you’ll learn seven tips on becoming a better listener and the art of wholehearted communication. I’m super passionate about this topic, because I see communication gone wild all.of.the.time. The good news is with a few tweaks, anyone can become a better listener and have more mutually beneficial conversations with those they care about. Psychology and Science Say You Don’t Listen Well Did you know that there are psychological and scientific reasons why we don’t listen well? First, our brains process what people are saying almost four times faster than the rate they’re saying it. This is why we finish each other’s sentences (and cut each other off). Listening is, indeed, an art. Secondly, our brains can’t handle too much information, so it begins to weed out what it deems unimportant or unneeded (like your spouse’s request for you to clean the gutters or pay off that credit card). But let’s not blame science. Let’s learn from it. Become a Better Listener in 7 Ways I truly believe most of us have good intentions when it comes to listening. We just don’t complete the mission. In the podcast episode, I share seven practical tips to listening better, including listen with your eyes, listen without pre-conceived judgments, listen for the main point, listen to what’s actually being said (and what’s not being said) and more. If you follow these principles, you will notice a significant improvement in your relationships and marriage. Be sure to listen to all seven tips on the podcast. And remember, you have one more week to enter the podcast review contest! The winner will be announced LIVE on the May 3rd episode! To enter: 1. Listen to an episode 2. Write a review on Apple Podcasts 3. Email me to let me know you’ve submitted a review. Find great listening exercises and more on hearing vs listening here. SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in Relationships (Communication 101 Series) Did you know there are four major communication problems that will wreck any relationship (also known as the four horsemen of the apocalypse)? These communication blunders are often practiced unbeknownst to the person. Thankfully, marriage researcher Dr. John Gottman has discovered what these four communication problems are and solutions to help us learn how to communicate better. On today’s episode we’re talking about these four horsemen: criticism, contempt, defensiveness,, and stonewalling. You might refer to the four horsemen as different names, but after listening to the episode, you’ll likely arrive at the same solution: they can’t remain in a healthy relationship. To help you destroy these four horsemen, I am sharing some antidotes or solutions that will allow you to practice better communication in your relationships. This is one episode you’ll want to chew on a little bit. Don’t just listen and keep to business as usual. Which of these four horsemen do you identify with? How can you change your heart and your behavior in order to practice more effective ways of communicating? What’s really at the core of why you’re communicating this way? These are all heartfelt questions that I hope you’ll work through. After you hear today’s episode, you’ll walk away with some practical tools to communicate better. I guarantee it. Share this episode with your spouse or loved one and see if you agree on what horseman (or multiple horsemen) have hijacked your relationship. Remember, we are launching our Podcast Review Contest today! You can win a $50 Amazon gift certificate when you do the following: Listen to an episode Write a review on Apple Podcasts Email me to let me know you’ve submitted a review The winner will be announced on the May 3rd episode! Thanks in advance for your awesome review! Resources and Links Mentioned During this Episode: John Gottman’s Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse Real Relationship Talk Episode 86: It’s Not You; It’s Me (I Statements) Real Relationship Talk Episode 87: The Silent Treatment vs Silence SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

The Silent Treatment vs Silence (Communication 101 Series) If you’re like me, you can give a good silent treatment. The problem, though, is that the silent treatment is a terrible method of communication. Whether you "go ghost" due to fear, being unheard, frustration, or manipulation, intentionally icing out your partner can cause major disconnection in your relationship. At best, it stalemates the conversation. At worst, it communicates that you do not care about your partner or his/her needs. But there is a better way. Alternatives to the Silent Treatment In today’s episode, we talk about six alternatives to the silent treatment when attempting conflict resolution. Spoiler alert: one of these ways is to do a walk and talk. I love a good walk and talk. It lowers the temperature of the conversation in several ways. For starters, it allows you to have challenging conversations without staring into each other's eyes or intentionally diverting eye contact. When you're walking, you're usually looking straight ahead for the most part. We also discuss whether the silent treatment can ever be beneficial. Also, is there a difference between silence and the silent treatment? If so, what is it? I believe that silence can benefit your relationship and help with communication if you follow a few “rules.” For starters, you need to decide how long you’ll be silent. Also, what’s the purpose for your silence? Have you communicated this to your partner? Be sure to listen to the full episodes to hear the remaining alternatives to the silent treatment. I hope you’ll practice these in your marriage or relationship as you continue to grow in your communication. ALSO LISTEN TO EPISODE 86: IT'S NOT YOU; IT'S ME (I STATEMENTS) SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

It's Not You, It's Me (Communication 101 Series) Have you ever been in a conversation with someone who constantly tells you all the things you're doing wrong instead of how they're actually feeling? No bueno, right? Most people have never learned the tools of good communication, so they do things like make accusations, abdicate responsibility for their feelings and/or choices, and incorrectly assign motive to their partner's behaviors. But, oh friends, there is much better way. Learning how to use "I statements" is not only effectively but gives your partner an inside look at the real you: what you're thinking and feeling. "I Statements" Formula In today's episode, I am going to coach you on how to use a very simple four-part formula to communicate your feelings and needs. You will learn how to better use your words for more effective conversations. "I statements" have made such a difference in how I communicate not only with Shaun but with everyone! It's so freeing to not have to be the judge of every one's choices and motives. You should try it! If you're already using "I statements," I'd love for you to share some of your powerful statements with us! Let us know in our Facebook group or email me ! SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

The Best Defense for Offense: Plus that Will Smith Slap! (Communication 101 Series) Do you find yourself getting offended easily or often? Today, I'm sharing six steps to help you avoid offense, plus we have to talk about the Will Smith/Chris Rock slap heard around the world! Here's the deal: Jesus, himself, said, "Offenses will surely come..." (Luke 17:1). BUT, we don't have to take offense. We can truly learn how to live unoffendable. Imagine not only saying "no offense," but actually living this way. The Will Smith / Chris Rock Slap But first, that Will Smith slap! If you watched the Oscars (which, let's be honest, most of us didn't!), we heard about Will Smith slapping comedian Chris Rock clear across the face. I share my thoughts on that situation in this episode. But more importantly, I share how this situation helps us to ask one very important question of ourselves when we are offended. Living Unoffendable I'd love to spell out all six ways to help you avoid offenses but I really want you to listen to the full episode, so I'll give you two. You'll have to listen to the full episode to get the other four: Don't assume the worst; believe the best Stop looking for offenses Do you have other tips to help avoid offenses? We'd love for you to share them in our Facebook group. SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Preparing for Difficult Conversations (Communication 101 Series) Do you struggle with starting difficult conversations in your relationships? It’s easy to get overwhelmed when you need to communicate a problem or an issue. But did you know that there are actually action items or steps you can take before the conversation that can help steer you in the right direction and make your conversations more successful? In today’s episode, I am sharing four ways to prep for difficult conversations. Be sure to listen to the full episode to get the “sauce” on these four tips. Tip 1 - What’s your purpose? Tip 2 - Timing matters Tip 3 - Have a singular goal Tip 4 - Pray This prep work is intentional but it doesn’t have to be intensive or time-consuming. Once you begin to build this new rhythm into your communication, you will notice a major difference in the outcome of these conversations. Sadly, many people don’t think (or prepare) before they speak. They just spew, but that doesn’t have to be you! You can decide to be a better communicator and a better partner by simply applying these four tips on the front end of your conflict conversations. Need more coaching tips? Schedule a free discovery coaching call with me today at http://danache.com/coaching. ALSO READ: 20 TIPS FOR CRITICAL CONVERSATIONS SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

A Marriage Restored After Divorce, Drugs, & Deconstruction - with “Out of the Dust’s” Chris & Steph Teague Not many marriages recover from the depths of drugs, deconstruction, and divorce, but that’s exactly what happened to our guests, Chris & Steph Teague, from Out of the Dust music. Not only did the Teague’s experience the loss of their marriage but also a loss of Chris’s faith. These former high school sweethearts never imagined a reconciliation was possible, but then, the miraculous happened. Come hear about how God turned Chris and Steph’s lives completely around as they share openly and vulnerably about the darkest time in their lives. This episode is sure to bring hope to hopeless marriages and situations. And as a special bonus, we’ve interwoven snippets of their newest album, The After, into the podcast. If you think their story is beautiful, just wait until you hear their music! If God did it before, he can do it again. It was an absolute honor interviewing these two. Learn more about Chris & Steph and hear Out of the Dust’s music at http://outofthedustmusic.com. SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

5 Signs You're Doing Relationships Right We often focus on what's wrong in our relationships and marriages, but in this episode, I'm giving ya'll kudos for doing relationships right. How do you know if you're on the right track in your relationship? Hint, hint, most of these signs start with the mind. What do you really believe about yourself? Your partner? How do you view him or her? What do you focus on? You'll have to listen to the full episode to get the rundown on all five signs, but they include practices like being secure in who you are, keeping short accounts (yeah, that's a big one!), and keeping hope alive in the face of disappointments. Here's the deal . . . every relationship and EVERY marriage will hit turbulence at times. That doesn't mean your relationship is unhealthy. It just means you have work to do. The foundation of this podcast is to help couples to really think about the actual structure of their marriage or relationship. This is heart work, ya'll! I'd love to hear from you! What are some more signs that people are doing relationships right? Share them with me on Instagram or Facebook! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

The Female Orgasm: Get'n Real - with Julie Sibert Listen, these days, there’s a lot of faking it going on when it comes to women having orgasms. But let’s get real. My guest, intimacy expert Julie Sibert, and I are answering your questions and demystifying the important yet often overlooked female orgasm. The truth is there are many women who have never, and I do repeat, never experienced an orgasm. There are also women who “fake it til they make it.” But these situations are living below the pleasure potential that married sex provides. Learning to Communicate Your Needs Julie shares her journey in learning to openly communicate her sexual needs and desires with her husband and how that intentionality revolutionized her sex life. She also discusses ways that women can take the initial step from awkward conversations in order to help her husband learn her body and how she would like to receive pleasure. Talking about sex in an honest yet wholesome way is crucial for wholehearted marriages. We have got to get over the shame, stigma, and fear of “going there” in these conversations. Orgasms are a part of sex, and not just for the man. Need I repeat? If you are a husband, and your wife is not consistently experiencing orgasms, it’s time for you to re-evaluate. Married and dare I say, Christian married sex, needs to be mutually beneficial. Around the 14 minute mark, Julie discusses how faking orgasms brings a lie into your marriage. That one statement is worth an offering. I’m serious. You’ve got to listen to the full episode! Our hope is that after listening to today’s episode, you never experience boring sex again. Not every encounter has to end with utter euphoria, but both spouses should give and receive sexual pleasure on a consistent basis. Want to listen to more wholesome advice on married sex? Be sure to listen to the entire Shameless Sex Series on the podcast, especially these: Episode 76: 8 REASONS WHY WOMEN WON’T INITIATE SEX (SHAMELESS SEX SERIES) Episode 77: HOW TO HAVE NON-AWKWARD CONVERSATIONS ABOUT SEX WITH YOUR SPOUSE – WITH SHAUN WILLIAMS (SHAMELESS SEX SERIES). Links Mentioned in this Episode Learn more about Julie and Intimacy in Marriage. Jumpstart Your Intimacy: A Video Series for Wives SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Feelings Aren't Forever Are you "feeling some kind of way?" While we all feel the feels from time to time, we can't be ruled by our feelings. In marriage and relationships, feelings are fickle. Feelings aren't forever. They come and they go. As a matter of fact, feelings are meant to be a gauge not a guide. They're indicators not instructions. This is why we should never make major decisions solely based on how we feel. I've seen many marriages end because one or both partners were feeling some kind of way about each other and about the fate of their relationship. Nothing pains my heart more than to see people let go of their potential due to a short-lived season of flawed feelings. While we should all be in touch with our emotions, we need to remember that we control our feelings. They don't control us. In today's episode, I share some powerful truths to combat the feelings fiasco and help you to make solid decisions in spite of how you feel. You're going to want to listen to the entire episode. Our podcast downloads are way up! Thanks so much to all of you who subscribe to the podcast and share these episodes. You're making a difference in the lives of future listeners! Let's keep it going! And check out this helpful blog post I wrote on "In My Feelings." You can find it here. SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

It Will Work If You Work It If you want your marriage to work, you have to work it. I know that seems too simple, but the truth is a thriving marriage takes effort. If we want to succeed in anything in life, we have to be intentional and put in the effort. Nothing worth having comes easy. We all know that. So why, then, do we fail to realize this in our marriages? Today, I’m sharing five ways to be intentional and actually put that effort into your marriage. You have to have a purpose for your marriage. If you don’t know the purpose of a thing, you will abuse it. What is the purpose of your marriage? You need to learn yourself. What makes you happy? What makes you tick? Do you actually know yourself? If not, it will be difficult for you to know your spouse. You need to learn your spouse. We aren’t the same people we were when we got married. If you think, “I know my spouse already,” you’ll setting yourself up for failure. Keep learning. Stay curious. Decide on marriage goals. #marriagegoals is a popular hashtag, but it has to be more than that if you want your marriage to succeed. What are some goals you can accomplish together as a couple? Get feedback. When we want to improve, it’s crucial that we elicit feedback from others better than we are. Ask your spouse. Ask a mentor couple. Again, keep learning and keep growing. The universal language of love is effort. So, put in the effort! If you work your marriage, your marriage will work! Links Mentioned in this Episode 8 Reasons Women Won’t Initiate Sex - Episode 76 SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

The Truth About Erectile Dysfunction & Masturbation - with Shawn Bonneteau (Shameless Sex Series) Erectile dysfunction is one of those secret symptoms men don't like to talk about when it comes to their sexual health. However, statistics show that 1 in 3 men under the age of 40 experience erectile dysfunction (ED), and the vast majority of these men are or have been addicted to pornography. But porn isn't the only cause of ED. We've been taught that erectile dysfunction is a medical problem, and though it can be, there are other factors. Psychological issues and past trauma can also be contributing factors of erectile dysfunction, according to my guest, Shawn Bonneteau. As a certified professional mentor who's helped countless men overcome pornography addiction and ED and armed with his own personal journey with both, Shawn sheds light on what the little blue pill won't help with. Throughout our conversation, we also talk about masturbation and how it affects women and men. This is one conversation you're going to want to listen to multiple times. Grab something to take notes with and listen to this powerful conversation! Learn more about Shawn and his wife Helena's coaching at https://secrethabit.ca. Links Mentioned in this Episode The Overcoming ED Mini Course The Secret Habit Podcast Real Relationship Talk - Ep. 70 - Can Porn Improve Your Sex Life - with Sathiya Sam SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

How to Have Non-Awkward Conversations About Sex with Your Spouse - with Shaun Williams (Shameless Sex Series) My hubby Shaun is our guest today, and we're talking about how to broach the conversation of unmet desires, fantasies, and unrealized hopes concerning sex in your marriage. This is one episode you'll want to hear especially if talking about sex makes you squeemish or triggers feelings of embarrasment, shame, or even pain. The truth is talking with your spouse about sex should be normal. Somehow, society has made it weird. How should you start? When should these conversations take place? What does it mean for Christian spouses to embrace their sexuality? What if talking about your sex life makes you more insecure? Shaun and I tackle all these hesitations and more in today's show. Plus, hear a listener's question in our Q & A with Dana Che segment concerning a previous episode on why married sex is the best sex. SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

8 Reasons Why Women Won’t Initiate Sex (Shameless Sex Series) If you’re a woman who struggles with initiating sex, a man wondering why your wife won’t initiate, today’s show is just for you. A common sexual issue in many relationships is a difference in sex drives. Generally speaking, men seem to have a higher sex drive and initiate sex more often than women do. But why? Is it truly the way they were created? I think not. On the podcast, I share eight reasons I believe many women struggle when it comes to initiating sex. #1 – Women have been socially and even spiritually conditioned to believe that “good girls” don’t like sex or that ladies do not pursue. This is a sad reality that has caused sexually-driven women to feel confused or ashamed. #2 – She might feel awkward initiating sex, because she doesn’t know how. If a woman has been fed faulty messages concerning her sexuality and wasn’t sexually active prior to marriage, she might not know what to do. #3 – Women may struggle with a fear of rejection. No one wants to make a move and be rejected. So instead of trying, she may decide to just allow things to happen “if they happen.” #4 – She may be too tired. I know this sounds like a lame excuse, but it’s often true. There is so much pressure on women to be domesticated divas, at the top of her game at work, mommy of the year, and then she has to be “Ready Betty” at night. It’s a lot to keep up with! You’ll have to listen to the full episode to get the other four reasons why women won’t initiate sex. And after you do, I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to add to this list by writing a comment in the show notes of this episode. And as a bonus, I also share four easy ways for women to initiate sex. Hint, all of these ways are practical and simple. Even the shyest wife can do these! Links Mentioned in this Episode Real Relationship Talk – Episode 27: Lopsided Libidos – How to Deal with Different Sex Drives Real Relationship Talk – Episode 75: Why Married Sex is the Best Sex SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

7 Reasons Married Sex is the Best Sex (Shameless Sex Series) Sex outside of marriage is touted as the norm or ideal sex, but today’s episode covers reasons why married sex is actually the best sex. The Bible has a lot to say about sex, and some people don’t understand why. Some wonder does God really care what people do behind closed doors. Well, my friends, the answer is yes. One of the best explanations of this can be found in I Corinthians 6:18-20. I love how the Message translation puts it: There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, “The two become one.” Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never “become one.” There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for “becoming one” with another. Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body. IMO (in my opinion), that’s all the reason we need. Still, there are some who don’t esteem God’s words in the same way that I do, so I give six (well, actually there’s an additional bonus reason included) ways why married sex is the best sex. Maybe you have additional reasons you’d like to add to our list. If so, feel free to email info at danache.com and share your nuggets of wisdom! SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

The Lowdown on the Hookup Culture: Five #Facts (Shameless Sex Series) Society seems obsessed with free sex. The hookup culture is alive and well, and it’s not just millennials or Gen-Zers engaging in sex on demand. In today’s episode, I’m giving you 5 reasons the hookup culture is no bueno and 5 practical steps to exit right out of it. Many of us have been sold a lie that in order to embrace our sexuality, we need to be “sexually free,” or promiscuous, for lack of a better word. There are no rules, right? Do whatever pleases your fancy. The truth is the hookup culture has caused more pain, heartache, and loss than it’s worth. Whether or not you are a Christian, there are many reasons why the hookup culture isn’t a great idea. These reasons range from scientific reasons to spiritual reasons. Here are a few (You’ll have to listen to the full episode to hear them all): Risks of Premarital Sex The hookup culture is responsible for a higher divorce rate. The hookup culture is responsible for fake intimacy (This is really important. Please listen around the 13:12 mark.) The hookup culture hinders commitment. I go into much detail on these three and two additional “risks” of premarital or extramarital sex. But let’s not just talk risks . . . let’s talk about real, practical steps people can take when trying to turn their sexual lives around. Practical Steps to Exit the Hookup Culture Decide to become accountable to yourself. Real accountability is an inside job first. DO NOT rush into marriage. This might sound counterintuitive coming from a pastor and marriage coach. But trust me, marriage will not solve your self-control issues. Watch what you watch. This is another very important simple step in the right direction. To hear the additional two tips for exiting the hookup culture, be sure to listen to the full podcast. Remember, we are invited to live in freedom, but sexual freedom is not what our culture teaches us it is. The apostle Paul writes in Galatians 5:13, For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love (NLT). Other Helpful Resources: Web MD – Benefits in Delaying Sex Until Marriage Why Premarital Sex is a Bad Idea Need Relationship or Marriage Coaching? SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Why Lysa TerKeurst Called Quits on Her Marriage Proverbs 31 Founder Lysa TerKeurst announced this week that she was divorcing her husband of nearly 30 years due to his repeated patterns of behavior that have violated their marriage (i.e. infidelity). This statement isn't new to Lysa; she made a very similar statement in 2017 when Art, her husband, was caught in adultery. However, the TerKeursts walked through a journey of repentance, forgiveness, and reconciliation, and renewed their vows in 2017. Sadly, it appears Art returned to his cycle of destruction and now their marriage is irretrievably broken. There are some lessons we can learn from why Lysa's decision to end her marriage, which I share plainly in this episode, along with her official statement. If your marriage is suffering from adultery, or if it ever has . . . heck, if you don't want your marriage to experience infidelity, you need to listen to the full episode. Learn more about how to protect your marriage by downloading my free e-book 5 Mistakes that are Wrecking Your Life at http://relationshipmistakes.co.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Best of 2021: Year in Review Oh, what a year! There have been highs and lows, but we brought the best of the best with this top 10 countdown of our most popular episodes of the year. Counting down from the tenth most downloaded episode to the number one most downloaded show was a sweet trip for me down memory lane. I’m sure these shows are some of your faves as well. Be sure to listen to today’s episode for my commentary on the significance of each show. Top 10 Relationship Podcast Episodes in 2021 10 – Episode 69: Oral Sex: Oh My! (Shameless Sex Series) 9 – Episode 55: How to Get Over an Argument Quickly (Young & Married Series)* 9 – Episode 25: Lies Women Believe about Sex – with Molly Moses (All About Sex Series)* *Episode 55 & Episode 25 tied for the #9 spot. 8 – Episode 48: Setting Realistic Expectations in Marriage – with Jenard Moore (Young & Married Series) 7 – Episode 27: Lopsided Libido: How to Deal with Different Sex Drives (All About Sex Series) 6 – Episode 24: Rethinking Intimacy – Redefining Sex – with Sheila Wray-Gregoire (All About Sex Series) 5 – Episode 41: When Life Falls Apart: Unearthing Treasure in the Unexpected – with Hallie Lord (Hope Series) 4- Episode 26: Making Love Outside the Bedroom – with Shaun Williams (All About Sex Series) 3 – Episode 36: How Guys Think: A Single Man Bares All – with Avery Martin (Single AF Series) 2 – Episode 40: Dealing with Disappointments (Hope Series) 1 – Episode 49: 5 Boundaries Every Marriage Needs (Young & Married Series) I hope you enjoy listening (or re-listening) to these episodes! And tell me, what was your favorite episode or episodes from the podcast? SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

A Very Sexy C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S (Shameless Sex Series) Christmas is right around the corner, and we’re celebrating by sharing these sexy Christmas tactics to help you and your boo have the sexiest Christmas ever! These practices are also good for the other 364 days of the year, of course. However, in the hustle and bustle of buying gifts, decorations, hosting and attending Christmas parties, etc., it’s easy to lose sight of our most important relationship. I’m sharing nine ways for you to focus on your spouse this Christmas and re-energize your sex life. Because I’ve always loved a good acronym, I’m giving you a gift of a beautifully illustrated acronym for the word Christmas. Each letter represents an important “must-have” sex tactic to help refresh and renew your sexual connection. The following acronym will help you have a better sex life if it is: C-ommitted H-oly R-espectful I-ntentional S-pontaneous T-imely M-eaningful A-dventurous S-exy Now, you’ve got to listen to the full episode (it’s a short one today!) to hear all the goods. Maybe you could add to this list or even come up with your own acronym! I’d love to hear it. Links Mentioned in this Episode Episode 9: 6 Ways to Build One Extraordinary Marriage with Less Talking Episode 70: Can Porn Improve Your Sex Life? With Sathiya Sam (Shameless Sex Series) Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community! SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Can Porn Improve Your Sex Life? Do you watch porn or wonder if it can improve your sex life? Today, our guest, Sathiya Sam, shares some shocking revelations about porn and its effects in marriage and life in general. You may not know, but the average age of porn exposure is 11 years old. #LetThatSinkIn. Also, I share my own story of my introduction to porn and my not-so-great response years later when I found my kids had also discovered it. Here’s the truth. Porn can be a shameful vice. This podcast series is on shameless sex, so having this conversation is necessary for couples who are wondering if watching porn can actually enhance their sex lives. It’s a valid question for many, and Sathiya shares some valid stats with us on porn’s actual effects in our relationships. First, he shares his own personal journey with pornography, saying, “Porn was my reward and my relief at the end of the day.” It didn’t start as an addiction for this pastor’s kid who knew right from wrong, but rather, like most vices, was a gradual process. More than behavior modification, those who want to walk away from porn need something more. They need to be set free of the shame that feeds the cycle of porn, and they need to be able to have honest and SAFE conversations with people who are in their corner who can help. Here’s the thing . . . [SPOILER ALERT]: Porn may start off as a thrilling experience in your sex life, but it almost never lasts. It causes more devastation than it’s worth, and it robs you of the true intimacy you’re after. There is a better way to better intimacy, which I share here. Learn more about Sathiya and his new book The Last Relapse (out on 2/2/22) and download your free resource “The Ultimate Recovery Guide” using the links below. Links Mentioned in this Episode Unleash the Man Within Podcast Sathiya’s Ultimate Recovery Guide SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Oral Sex: Oh My! (Shameless Sex Series) We're diving deep and talking about oral sex and all its wonders. Grab your spouse and listen in as we debunk some myths about oral sex. Plus, you’ll never look at one particular Bible hero the same! It’s all here as the inaugural episode in our shameless sex series, dedicated to helping you recover the beauty of being “naked and unashamed.” Check out these interesting articles on my “bonus content” at the end of the show: https://www.premierchristianity.com/home/bible-stories-uncensored-ruth-the-maneater/1011.article https://ymi.today/2020/04/does-the-end-truly-justify-the-means/ And for the nitty-gritty techniques of marital sex, visit http://themarriagebed.com. Finally, check out episode 23 and episode 25 (what the church forgot to teach us about sex and lies women believe about sex, respectively) to continue the conversation. Let’s stay connected: On Facebook: @therealrelationshiptalk On Instagram: @danachewilliams On YouTube: @danacheunlimited Real Relationship Talk is a marriage and relationship podcast that helps couples build better relationships by having honest conversations about sex, marriage, commitment, and lasting love. Hosted by marriage coach Dana Che Williams, the podcast is challenging yet conversational and tackles real issues real couples are facing in an encouraging, often humorous, and authentic way. Dana Che and her hubby, Shaun, live in Virginia Beach, have been married for over 22 years, and have four children. Need marriage or relationship coaching? Visit http://danache.com. Be sure to subscribe to the podcast on whatever platform you're listening to! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Forget Compatibility! Great Relationships Require Intentionality - with Dr. Joli Hamilton - Part 2 Everyone wants to find someone they’re compatible with, but what if we’re looking at this the wrong way? Dr. Joli Hamilton is our guest for part two of this conversation. Do opposites really attract? Is it true that we create our compatibility? And if so, how does intentionality play a role? The truth is, we are different. And when you decide that being different is not only okay but preferred, you’ll unlock another dimension in your relationship. You can’t force your partner to be the same as you. Love is about flourishing and growing and being who you were meant to be. Sadly, Dr. Hamilton reminds us, that often the things you wish you could project on your partner or spouse are the things you wish you could own about your own life. That is a deep revelation! What have you been disowning about yourself that you need to reclaim? Own it. Don’t ask your partner to take on these things. High Functioning Couples Joli and I also discussed the roles in high functioning couples. Often, power struggles occur because of a lack of intentionality in conversations and structure. “Some people think relationships should be really easy or really hard, and these two people are usually married to each other,” says Dr. Hamilton. That’s going on Instagram today! Have a Vision for Your Marriage/Relationship The Bible says, “Where there is no vision, the people cast off restraint” (Proverbs 29:18). Having a vision (or purpose statement, as Joli calls it), is vital to a healthy relationship. Without knowing where you’re headed, you’re bound to run around in circles, get frustrated, and ultimately “cast off restraint.” Another way to say this is that you’ll lose the fight for your relationship. You might stay together, but you’ll be distant at best. So, create a purpose or vision statement today. At the end of the day, when you’re ready to up-level your relationship, all it takes is deciding. “Love is a learnable skillset,” Joli says. Stop groping around in the dark and decide to create compatibility by intentionality. Be sure to listen to the full episode by clicking the episode link. Links Mentioned in this Episode Get real with The Curiosity Date Get Joli’s book: Project Relationship: The Entrepreneurs Action Plan for Passionate, Sustainable Love Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community! SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Growing Together While Staying True to You – with Dr. Joli Hamilton Growing together in relationships is critical to its success. Today, we are joined by psychologist Dr. Joli Hamilton who shares the importance of unmasking (being the real you) while also striving to grow together in your relationship. Joli and I do not share the same beliefs when it comes to certain major aspects of relationships, yet I hope you can see this conversation as a model on how to find common ground on the things you do agree on while still remaining open to learn new methods of relating to others. It’s good stuff! I started the interview by asking Joli, “Do you believe there’s a special person out here for someone?” Her answer will make you pause and think. We also discussed why growth is an important concept for us to understand in relationships. We are meant to help one another grow together. Relationships tend to bring out our real selves, but sadly, instead of owning our part, many of us we blame our partner, when all they’re doing is holding a mirror up to what’s really going on inside of us. #thatpart Some other nuggets from Joli: ‘Be more interested in each other’s growth than your own comfort.” “Love is about knowing someone completely and being fully known.” “Some couples practice not feeling their life.” (Whoo lord! That was deep!) And then Joli talked about a concept called “Individuation.” I just like the sound of the word, but the concept is also an important one. This episode was full of so much gold that I split it into part one and part two. I hope you’ll enjoy it as much as I did. SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Until Death Do Us Part (Marriage Vows Series) If I had to vote on the most important phrase of the marriage vows, it’d be “until death do us part.” In today’s episode, we are discussing the final phrase of the traditional marriage vows, capping off our 10-part series where we have dissected the wedding vows phrase by phrase. Marriage is sacred, yes. And it is meant to last forever. That word forever means f-o-r-e-v-e-r. It is not temporary. It is not until your “love” wears out. Marriage is a lifetime business. Today, we’re discussing the meaning and weight behind these powerful five words. The words that literally mean life or death. In our throwaway culture, forever can seem like a suggestion. But to God, it was anything but. Take a listen to the full episode and be challenged to shore up your conviction on what forever is all about. Links Mentioned in this Episode Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community! Want Dana to Coach Your Marriage? SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Forsaking All Others (Marriage Vows Series) – with Shaun Williams Part of the wedding vows that can get a little sticky is the whole “forsaking all others” part. What does that mean? Can married people really not have friends? That’s not how I read it. I do, however, believe that once you’re married, all other people have to take a backseat to the marriage bond (oneness) you are trying to create. If there’s a friend (platonic or not) that is threatening your union, they’ve gotta go. Kids? Give ‘em the ax! Well, maybe not technically, but if you have kids, you know they will try to come in between your marriage. Don’t let them. Co-workers, best friends, parents, etc., all these relationships have to be re-evaluated. Now, while I don’t believe in isolating yourself as a married couple, I do believe in using wisdom and communication to know how best to “re-categorize” some folks in your life once you get married. Real and Raw Today’s episode was real and raw, and if I think about it long enough, a tad embarrassing, because Shaun and I had a little argument on the podcast. Yep, I kept it in there, so don’t judge us. This information will be used for training purposes. Anyway, I’d love to hear your take on what does it mean to “forsake all others” in your marriage? How have you done this well, and how have you messed up? If we can be real, so can you. This is a worthy conversation that many married couples are simply not having. Yet, they should. Communicate your needs, desires, and even fears about your spouse’s relationships with others outside your marriage. I want to make something clear: you should retain autonomy of yourself in whatever relationship you’re in. This isn’t some weird, cultish “lose yourself” teaching. You are a unique individual and will always be, but remember the purpose of marriage is oneness. Okay, that’s all the teasers I’m going to give you. You have to listen to the full episode to get the rest of the goods. Links Mentioned in this Episode Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community! Want Dana to Coach Your Marriage? SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

In Sickness and In Health (Marriage Vows Series)- with Chris and Tamara Satterfield My cousins, the Satterfields, who are battling cancer and heart issues in their young marriage join us today as we discuss "in sickness and in health." As we continue in our marriage vows series, we'll discuss what happens when a spouse becomes very ill. Sadly, serious illness is a contributor to divorce in many marriages, believe it or not. When spouses should normally draw closer together in unity to overcome illness, not all couples find the strength or will to do this. By committing to love your spouse whether they're in good health or if they fall ill, you are vowing your unconditional love and support to him/her. Too often, couples breeze through their wedding vows without really giving thought to what they're committing to. Tamara and Chris Satterfield share very openly about their battle with cancer and heart health issues in their marriage. They talk about the highs and lows of marriage in this season and the importance of grace, empathy, and communication. Join the conversation! Links Mentioned in this Episode Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community! More ways to show honor in your marriage SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

[Sweet Repeat]: How Passivity & Apathy are Silently Killing Your Marriage This episode is a "sweet repeat" of Episode 11 of the Relationship Mistakes series where my husband, Shaun, and I discuss some of the silent killers of relationships. Apathy, or the "I don't care" mentality is wreaking havoc in marriages. If you or your spouse are passive, constantly disappointed, or are growing cold in your relationship, this episode is for you. Click here for the show notes of the original podcast episode.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

For Richer For Poorer (Marriage Vows Series) As we continue our marriage vows series, it’s time we talk about money in marriage. Specifically, how we can create a financial plan that will increase communication and decrease conflict. Today, my friend, Dr. Michelle Lappin, a certified wealth coach with Dave Ramsey, is our guest on the podcast. She gives very practical advice on how to have conversations about money, how to start saving, and when you should invest in more riskier avenues like the stock market. Did you know that financial problems account for an overwhelming majority of divorces? The need for honest and open communication about money is urgent. Michelle’s goal is to help people to create a healthier mindset when it comes to finances. My goal is to help couples build healthier relationships. Together, we are going to help you overcome your money challenges. Typically, couples repeat whatever patterns they observed in their families of origin. This can lead to major problems in their marriages if both spouses aren’t on the same page. Join the conversation and take away some practical tips that will help you to overcome financial challenges and truly create wealth in your marriage. Links Mentioned in this Episode Learn More About Dr. Michelle Lappin’s Financial & Wealth Programs Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community! SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

How to Have an Honoring Marriage (Marriage Vows Series) As a marriage coach, I notice how many marriages are devoid of an essential ingredient: honor. Most of these couples are experiencing conflict in their relationship, but few realize the conflict often stems from a lack of honor. In today’s episode, we are going to discuss what it means to have an honoring marriage. I share several practical ways of how to have an honoring marriage that we all can do. But first, we discuss what is honor anyway? In its most simplistic terms, honor can be defined as thinking highly of and showing high regard for someone or something. It’s recognizing the importance or someone or something. When we show honor to our spouse, we value them, their perspective, their opinions, etc. Practical Ways to Show Honor One of my favorite Scriptures on showing honor is Philippians 2:3-4: Be free from pride-filled opinions, for they will only harm your cherished unity. Don’t allow self-promotion to hide in your hearts, but in authentic humility put others first and view others as more important than yourselves. 4 Abandon every display of selfishness. Possess a greater concern for what matters to others instead of your own interests. Honor, you see, is esteeming others above ourselves. It’s quite simple (not always easy) to do this in marriage. Here are some tips I shared on the show: Encourage your spouse. Call them up higher. Respect your spouse’s opinion(s), especially when you disagree. Speak well of your spouse in private and in public. Prioritize what’s important to your spouse. Be sure to listen the full episode below and let me know how you’d add to this list. Links Mentioned in this Episode Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community! More ways to show honor in your marriage SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

For Better For Worse (Marriage Vows Series) One of the most powerful phrases in the wedding vows is “for better for worse,” and yet, people don’t always take this covenant seriously. Maybe you’re on the brink of divorce and need an encouraging word today. This episode will not shame you or put you on a guilt trip. It’s intended to bring you hope (and yes, it is a bit challenging, but you can handle it). I want you to go back to before you said “forever.” What did for better or for worse look like to you? The late Doug Larsen famously said, “More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.” It’s so true. Don’t count yourself or your spouse out just yet. It’s always darkest before the dawn. I do, however, believe there are times when divorce is inevitable or at least understandable. I call these reasons the “3 A’s.” I also blogged about this back in 2019. Also Read: When to Divorce When is Divorce Okay? Abuse Affair(s) Abandonment Because I go into great detail on the podcast and in the article above, I won’t go into detail here, but there is a biblical reason for my understanding. I’d love to hear your take. No matter how dark your situation seems, I do believe that God is still in the resurrecting business. Maybe your marriage is about to experience “for better” even if you are facing “for worse.” Be encouraged! Links Mentioned in this Episode Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community! SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

To Have and to Hold (Marriage Vows) One of the most misunderstood phrases in the marriage vows is “to have and to hold.” This statement is more powerful than many realize. So what does it mean exactly? Today’s episode explores one of the most important facets of a healthy marriage. To be honest, I didn’t really take this phrase seriously when I got married. Many couples don’t. The wedding vows, in general, can often be just another part of the ceremony that doesn’t get much attention. However, in making a lifelong commitment to someone, every word should be taken seriously. There should be a weightiness, if you will, to our words. In a nutshell, to have and to hold is all about our sexual intimacy. Too many couples are struggling in this area unnecessarily. That’s why I’m giving you four easy-to-remember tips to jump start or restart your sex life. 4 Keys to Jump Start or Restart Your Sex Life Be intentional Be interested Be inventive Be intimate Be sure to listen to the full episode to hear additional tips on these four points and more! Links Mentioned in this Episode Sign up for my Wife Life group coaching class Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community! SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

The Financial & Legal Benefits of Marriage (Marriage Vows Series) “Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?” On today’s episode, we’re talking about the financial and legal benefits of being married. Marriage is much more than a piece of paper. However, that little piece of paper is extremely valuable and comes with rewards, responsibilities and yes, even risks. We’ll talk about many of them and debunk some myths about common law marriage and states rights. But first, a refresher. I’m including the traditional marriage vows for you to ponder below: I, _______, take thee, _______, to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and OBEY, till death us do part, according to God’s holy law. Being Married Comes with Benefits If you’re married, you know that being married comes with many benefits, and let’s not overlook some of the more “non-romantic” benefits it includes like the financial and even legal benefits. On the show I include some well-known and even some lesser-known rewards of being married. And to keep it fair, I also discuss some of the risks involved with being married. Take a listen to the full episode and let me know what other financial and legal benefits we can add to this list. Links Mentioned in this Episode Sign up for my Wife Life group coaching class Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community! SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

How Are Marriage Vows Sacred? (Marriage Vows Series) “Dearly beloved, we are gathered together in the sight of God . . . Today we’re diving into the weight of our marriage vows. Too often the wedding vows are treated as an afterthought for many couples. Some don’t even remember what they said on their special day. I want couples to go from reciting rote rituals to pronouncing passionate promises. We’re launching a new season and a new series on the podcast today that will focus on each aspect of the marriage vows. I’ll be bringing some special guests along for our journey. I know you’re going to find incredible value from what they have to share. Traditional or Non-Traditional Wedding Vows To lay a foundation, I’m including the traditional marriage vows below: I, _______, take thee, _______, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and OBEY, till death us do part, according to God’s holy law. Now most 21st century women would rather choke on pudding than say the words “obey.” This is my story, and I’m sticking to it. Respect, yes. Obey? Nah. Still, many couples opt to write non-traditional vows or (gasp!) leave the vows out altogether. I share my thoughts on this in the episode, so be sure to listen to the full episode (it’s a short one!) and get excited as we break down each part of the marriage vows in the episodes to come. Links Mentioned in this Episode Sign up for my Wife Life group coaching class Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community! History of Wedding Vows article SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Why Should I Get Premarital Coaching? (Young & Married Series) A few years ago, I ran into an old friend who was recently engaged and about to get married. I immediately asked her who was doing her premarital counseling, and she just gave me a blank stare. Then she slowly said, “We aren’t getting premarital counseling, because we don’t want to open up a can of worms.” To my surprise and utter bewilderment, I responded, “Honey, you can either open the can of worms in premarital coaching or the can of worms will burst open during your marriage.” Too often, couples have rose-colored glasses on when it comes to marriage and, instead of diligently doing the work of marriage, they choose to spend all their energies on the wedding and the festivities that surround that one day. I think this is a huge mistake. We’d never buy a car without first doing our research and checking its history. Nor would we invest in a home or even daycare for that matter without finding out all we can about the home or organization. How much more diligent should we be about our marriage? Reasons Couples Choose Not to do Premarital Counseling Some couples think “love conquers all,” and that as long as they love each other, they’ll be fine. But all it takes is a brief look at the millions of couples who divorce each year who really loved (and often still love) each other. Love is wonderful. It’s necessary. But it’s not enough. Marriage takes commitment, time, trust, selflessness, and a lot more in order to work. Other couples have this notion that their problems “won’t be that bad,” and that as long as they believe for the best, they can overcome any problem they’ll face. While I applaud the obvious optimism here, I must say that the best defense is a good offense. You don’t learn to play the game of marriage once you’re married. You prepare for a great marriage before you get married. Thirdly, some couples have bought into the notion of “you complete me.” That makes for a good movie line, but not so great for a life principle. Marriage isn’t about completing you. It’s about discipling you, to be honest. We’ve heard it said that “most people don’t plan to fail; they fail to plan.” True that. What to Expect in Premarital Coaching A good premarital coach is one who can see the big picture and help couples attack the warning signs in their relationship. In premarital counseling (coaching), couples will be asked probing questions, discuss their families of origin, talk about emotional triggers, and current problems the relationship is having. Premarital coaching prepares couples to attack (not ignore) their issues. Pastors can provide a wealth of wisdom when it comes to the spiritual ramifications of marriage. However, not all pastors are good counselors. Marriage coaches, on the other hand, are specifically trained in all matters of healthy relationships. But not all marriage coaches will help you to understand the spiritual implications of the marriage covenant. Both are needed, and if you have a pastor and marriage coach, all the better! This is one episode you need to share with anyone you know who is engaged to be married or about to become engaged. Links Mentioned in this Episode Sign up for my Wife Life group coaching class Episode 55: How to Get Out of An Argument SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.