Rebuilding Us: Marriage Podcast

Love is Kind. But Are You? (Love Is… Series) - with Anne Visser I was reading an article last year about when a mutual friend set up Prince Harry and Megan Markle on a blind date. Megan says she had only question in mind: "Is he kind?" Love is kind, so let's talk about kindness. We’ve seen the t-shirts, we’ve used the hashtags, but how important is kindness to a relationship? Or to a marriage for that matter? To be honest, ya’ll, I wouldn’t rate kindness as one of my top attributes. I mean, I’m not mean, but it’s just that there are so many other qualities that rank more important to me than kindness. Like responsible. Dependable. Faithful. Heck, even a sense of humor. But the more I think about it, I realize being in a relationship with someone who isn’t kind is kinda rough. What do you think about when you think of the word kindness? For some reason, Barney comes to my mind. He’s always smiling. He never seems to have a bad day. He’s forever optimistic. And Barney loves everyone. Kindness is usually synonymous with gentleness. Therefore, many men don’t readily identify with this word. Can you be tough and kind? Can you have swag and be kind? Cool and kind? Or do you need to act like Barney? I think kindness is more about a heart expression than a facial expression. Kindness is more than just being nice. It’s compassionate, selfless, and its very definition is the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. Kindness is putting others first. And you can do all of that without smiling. In Ephesians 4:32, Paul instructs Christians to be kind to one another. Tenderhearted, forgiving one another just as God, for Christ’s sake, forgives us. Elsewhere, in Galatians, we see that kindness is a fruit of the Spirit…basically it’s one of the evidences of God’s spirit in you… or not. We all know about those mean ol’ church ladies, right? Random Acts of Kindness I’ve been the recipient of random acts of kindness more times than I can count. Several years ago, after a long and stressful day of non-stop sports, I pulled my weary self into the Chick-fil-A drive through. I knew it would be the cashier's pleasure to serve me, or at least that's what they always say, I mean kindness is literally written all over their employee handbook. But what I didn't expect is the person in front of me to pay for my whole ticket. Do ya'll know how expensive Chick-Fil-A is for a family of six? You might at well go sit down somewhere at a restaurant. Another time at Starbucks after ordering an especially sugary drink and battling shame as I inched my way through the drive-through. Again, someone, a complete stranger, paid for my drink. FYI: I haven’t battled shame in the Starbucks line ever since. Kindness literally destroys shame. Ooohhh... Hesed: the Biblical Definition of Kindness Kindness is a theme all throughout Scripture. God extends us kindness through giving us grace and mercy. Jesus modeled kindness by caring for the poor, lifting up women in a hyper-mysoginistic culture. From the patriarch, Abraham, who showed hospitality to strangers (who just happened to be angels), to the prostitute, Rahab who hid the Israelite warriors from her own people who were trying to kill them, and the prophet Hosea, who married a wayward prostitute and kept pursuing her while she was pursuing other men, all of these people extended kindness without expecting anything in return. But ya’ll know what, when you do something kind without expecting anything in return, God has a way of returning it back to you. There’s this really beautiful Hebrew word Hesed that shows up in the Bible. Hesed means loyal love, faithful devotion and unfailing kindness. Sounds just like God to me. But did you know we are called to show hesed in our marriages and relationships? Loyalty, faithful devotion, unfailing kindness. These are all action-oriented nouns. Hesed is kindness rooted in love. So we know kindness is good for us spirit, but can talk about science for a bit? How Kindness Affects our Physical Bodies Did you know that according to Mayo Clinic Health, being kind boosts serotonin and dopamine, which are neurotransmitters in the brain that give you feelings of satisfaction and well-being, and cause the pleasure/reward centers in your brain to light up? Endorphins, which are your body's natural pain killer, also can be released just be practicing kindness. So hesed is good for your physical health too! Being kind just feels good. How to be Kind in Marriage & Relationships I think one of the most obvious ways we can show hesed is in how we communicate, specifically how we talk to those we’re in relationship with. When I was a kid, my sister and I would mock my mom’s telephone voice, you know you made fun of your mom too. You know the voice I’m talking about? That super nice, cheerful, proper voice (hello) my mom would answer the phone after she just got finished yelling at my sister and me for not cleaning our rooms. Well, much to my dismay, my own kids joke m

Love is Patient and #WorthTheWait - with J and Ginger Simpson On today’s episode, I had the privilege to host J and Ginger Simpson for our Love Is . . . series. In this conversation we talk about growing love with patience and faith. It’s clear how much love J and Ginger truly have for each other, but it was a long journey of trusting God to get to that point. Throughout their relationship, they both spent long days and nights waiting on God and his ultimate timing to bring them together. Through trust in God, healing, patience, and waiting, God presented them with the gift of love to cherish and grow together as a married couple. Patience Paves the Road to Love For J and Ginger, things weren't always easy but they both practiced patience as their relationship and marriage was developed. J found himself in a deep-knowing that Ginger was the person he was meant to be with. He trusted in God to believe when the time was right, it would come. J said “I just believed that this is my wife. Patience is the partner of faith. When you walk by faith and put on patience while you’re waiting, you are doing the will of God.” It was a long road of trusting in the plan that God had for them, but eventually J popped the question and Ginger said YES! Stay in Faith and Do Not Waiver But things got rocky when Ginger abruptly called off the engagement. It was time for J to wait yet again. While he waited on Ginger to come around, he admitted to “getting in the flesh.” At times, he was tested but he remembered with faith, God will deliver. J said “Most people say they're in faith, but they don’t understand that faith is a process and the results are progressive.” He soon came to realize that in order to get the love he truly wanted, he must trust in God and that his path would soon be revealed. He believed that as long as he was consistent, the outcome of his faith would be rewarded. J carried patience throughout this entire journey, deeply knowing that God would send him what he needed, when he was ready. God is faithful, and when you trust in God, divine timing will deliver. How Healing & Patience Ready Us for Love Ginger’s journey to marriage came through a different set of struggles. She wanted to ensure that she was ready to step into the love and marriage that she and J truly deserved. Ginger said “I did not want to hurt someone who had been so good to me.” She knew that J was right for her, but she didn’t want to rush into something that she didn’t feel fully ready for. Ginger said “If I would have moved forward with the spirit of rejection and abandonment [that she carried], I don’t know if we would be married right now.” Ginger spent nine years waiting for a husband. She had to trust in God’s plan that when she felt ready, there would be a sign. But God was at work, restoring Ginger and making her ready for the love that was waiting for her. The waiting was never easy for this couple, but it was well worth it for the love they are living. The Waiting Game of Love We can’t talk about patience without talking about waiting. When we pray for things, we expect results right away. In waiting, we are able to grow appreciation about the things we are hoping to receive. When we take our eyes off the goal and focus our eyes on trusting in God’s plan, all will fall into line. Ginger quoted the scripture “Don’t grow weary in well-doing, because in due time the harvest will come” (Galatians 6:9). The key with waiting is trusting in the plan that God has for you. Satan will try to make you grow weary, but with consistent faith, your prayers will be answered. During the waiting time, it’s about practicing patience. Patience is not about sitting back and doing nothing, it’s about doing more. More prayer, more faith, and more serving. When you throw yourself into serving God during the waiting period, the wait won’t seem like the wait. The gifts will be abundant as you practice patience and faith while waiting for God to deliver. So remember, patience is not passive. It’s active. Stay in hope as you allow love to be patient in your life and relationships. Other Helpful Resources Related to this Episode Visit J and Ginger’s Website : The Restored Woman 5 Principles to Waiting in Hope Purchase Your copy of my newest workbook - Love Is . . . SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

What is Love Truly? Love is in the air! On today’s episode, I was joined by the lovely Kim Sorrelle. Kim is a writer, speaker, entrepreneur, and so much more. In this conversation we talk about what love truly is, learning how to love, and giving love freely without expectations of something in return. Kim helps people discover what the true meaning of love is through her work. Love is the most beautiful gift we have, and when we learn to share that gift, the love will be abundant. The "Feeling" of Love Love is such a complex topic to talk about. It’s something we all strive to have in life. When hard times strike, love is there to pick us back up and lift us to strength. Kim said, “Love is the ultimate freedom. There is nothing freer than walking in love.” Real, true, love isn’t about fixing people, or judging people, it’s about showing up whole-heartedly with kindness, compassion, and empathy. 1 John 4 says, “We love because we have first been loved,” and this is key for us to remember: when we have an understanding of God’s love for us, we can love others. Thus, love has no boundaries. Learning How to Love In order to give love, you must be able to receive love. Kim said “Love is universal.” We all are put on this earth to love and be loved. When you learn to give love unconditionally then the receiving of love will come naturally. Often times, we learn how to love through our family and how we were raised as children. As we watched our parents express what love was, we inherited their version of love and carried that with us as kids and into adulthood. Kim says, “You live what you learned.” As adults, it’s our job to learn what love means to us, despite what we may have learned from our parents. We have the opportunity to overcome things that prohibit us from loving and learning how to love. We have the freedom to create unconditional love in our lives without restriction. Giving Love Without Conditions When we are craving love, we need to look at how we are giving love. Do you give love only to receive something back? Expressing the emotion of love is most powerful when there is no need to receive anything in return. When you give love to people without the need to receive it back, that is unconditional love. 1 Corinthians 13:4–8a says “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast.” This is about honoring yourself and providing love to people who really need love in that moment. When we stop focusing on receiving something back, we can show up fully in love and help others be seen. Kim said, “Being patient is when you actually hear what people have to say, you stop and listen without having your rebuttal to go, and actually listen to them.” When you take a moment to see a human being and hear their story, that’s when the love will naturally be ignited. Love Does Not Keep Score Some people see love as, “Because I did this for you, you need to do that for me.” Love is not about keeping score. Love is about giving freely the love that you have. When you give your love freely without keeping score, it will give back to you in abundance. Kim said “Love is what you do, love is something you are, that you give, that you live. Then there’s no score keeping.” Giving love is self-serving because when you give more, you will receive it back naturally. Scorekeeping can often show up in our marriage. In those moments we need to remember to practice patiences and grace, giving our partner the love they need in that moment. When we learn to tap into the love inside our hearts, through the guidance of God, all will prevail. Links Mentioned in this Episode Visit Kim’s Website : Kim's Website Get my Love Is… Workbook! SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Hot and Holy Sex - with Spiced Wife Ashlyn Watkins Ashlyn Watkins, host of the Spiced Wife podcast is here to help us understand that our sex lives can be both hot and holy. Spiced Wife is a ministry that brings Christian wives together in reaching their full potential of being a holy and sexy wife. Married sex is a topic that not a lot of people in the Christian space are talking about and if they do talk about it, it's a very sanitized, hush-hush topic. But we need to talk about this topic and to be honest. I feel like people have real questions and real concerns, and they deserve real answers. Discovering the Path to Spiced Wife I asked Ashlyn what interested her in helping Christian women help to make their marriages hot and holy. “I can honestly say that I was provoked to passion,” Ashlyn says. “The pain in my life provoked me to Jesus, although I knew Jesus, growing up in church. My grandfather is a pastor, my dad's a pastor, and I was just in it my whole life. I learned, where that can be a blessing, it can also be a hindrance, because God becomes normal to you and you lose that awe of him. When you grow up in church, you meet church first and you meet Jesus second. People come out of the world right into Jesus, they meet Jesus first and they have this amazing experience and so they're instantly on fire for Jesus. “With me, I grew so comfortable with God that I learned how to play the part. I was the church girl and the world girl, but you wouldn't know it. I was teaching teenage class, I was leading, praising, worship, leading choir, I had so many roles, and I was wearing the biggest spiritual mask ever. Throughout my life I went through so much. I have a history of abortions, sexual addictions, and just so many terrible things that I had to endure. In 2015, something clicked, I was just tired of knowing God based on who I was told he was. I wanted to know Jesus for myself. All these years, I've been listening and hearing, and realized I'm tired. I wanted to get clear on who I'm serving. I needed to see who he says I am, but I need to know who he is first. That year I committed to reading my Bible the entire year and my life has changed since then because I learned who God is based on who he says he is. He saved me from the religion that I was hiding behind. In beginning to know him, I found freedom, so it wasn't so heavy to serve Him anymore. My passion comes from loving people's souls and not wanting them to be blinded.” The Shame of Teenage Pregnancy That boldness came on the heels of a shameful past. Before Ashyn dedicated herself to helping others find the hot and holy path, she had to find it herself. Ashlyn and I share similar stories of being teen moms who felt shame because we were Christians. She explains, “I believe I was really delivered from that shame when I realized that my daughter was a way of God's grace to save my life. What I thought was the biggest mistake and the biggest shame when I got pregnant, became the biggest blessing. When God opened my eyes to see that pregnancy slowed me down, it saved my life. And even now, her being a teenager, it's so much fun. She's got the youngest mom, and I'm able to have her friends over and be able to be the fun, cool mom that's discipling them, and they don't even know it. She is such a blessing. What I thought was the most devastating thing is the biggest blessing and breakthrough. I just didn't see it until I began to know God personally.” Women Stuck in the Sexual Shame Cycle Ashlyn: Women have pain from who they used to be to who they are now, and they feel like they don't have permission to enjoy sex. Many wives are confined in the thought process of, “ I am still this person of my past.” Some wives don’t realize there is a demonic force that is lying to them to create shame around sex. Satan is the king of lies. He's putting these thoughts in your mind that “I'm not good at sex, I can't be good at sex, or I can't enjoy sex.” It is about learning that you're coming into agreement with him and remembering God made this. Satan just took it and contaminated it. It starts with us, as women having it and enjoying it. It’s about having the confidence of knowing our God is okay with us enjoying sex and that he is okay with you learning how to do it right. How Can Christ Make Our Sex Life Better? So what exactly is hot and holy sex? Ashlyn believes that Christ makes sex better because there's no repercussions after you're done. There's no feelings of the guilt or shame when Christ is regulating your thinking around sex. Everything with him becomes so much better. You have to know that he approves of it. When you trust in Christ you don't have to have shame in learning what an orgasm is and how to get it and how to have it. That shame is gone. Christ literally makes everything better, and sex is included. He make sex better because he makes you better. Links Mentioned in this Episode Spiced Wife Episode on Christ Makes Sex Better: Episode 163 Le

Dating Advice for Singles & Married People Too I had the wonderful privilege to have a conversation with Lisa Anderson from Boundless, the young adults ministry of Focus on the Family. We’re dishing out dating advice that is pure gold. If you’re single and looking for a long lasting relationship, you’re gonna want to tune in. Lisa and I touch on the idea of the church pushing marriage on singles, how it feels for singles to get advice from married people, and we discuss what it means to be “marriageable” and who is truly ready to step into marriage. The Gift of Singleness Sometimes it may seem like the church’s dating advice is all about pushing singles to get married and start a family. There’s a lot of great things about being single and a lot of hard things about being single. We can learn a lot about life in both seasons and support each other in both seasons. 85% of people will be married by the time they reach their 30s, but it’s important that we realize not everyone is “called to be married.” There are many who have the gift of singleness, and we need to champion, encourage, and support these people more. Marriage is not the end all be all. Married people who give singles dating advice need to remember this. Dating and Marriage Advice from the Married When it comes to married people giving singles dating advice, it “depends on the advice and the way it’s delivered,” Lisa says. “I always tell singles, ‘Don't act like the married are some other species that you don't want them in your life. I mean, it only benefits us all to have people speaking to us and relaying their experience and marriage advice.’” Lisa continues, "That said, when it comes to saying like, ‘Okay, let me tell you, single person why your life is so easy or why you have it better than I do . . . I hear from so many marrieds, unfortunately, many in the church, who talk about marriage like it is completely the ball and chain. I mean, it's like the worst thing that they could ever do, and I'm like you should be champions of marriage and walking through it and giving encouragement and confidence to the singles coming up behind you. I think a good amount of grace on either side is helpful for having the conversation, for encouraging one another. In fact, I always tell people, especially married, when you want to approach that with a single friend, the best thing to start as you wade into that conversation is to say, you know what, 'What's going on in your life? and ‘How can I best pray for you?’ Because then it gives that single person the opportunity to open up as much or as little as they'd like and to enter into prayer on behalf of a friend who truly desires a relationship and desires marriage.” Are you Marriageable? Being marriageable can be defined as being a person who is single and available to be married, Lisa explains. It’s about people who are in a position to be married. They are an adult, they are contributing to society, they are plugged into a local church. Some questions you can ask are Do you have a job? Are you a person that has worked on other relationships in your life? Do you honor your parents? Do you keep your commitments? Have you dealt with that baggage in your past that is going to creep into your marriage whether you want it to or not? Lisa adds, “People say they love Boundless so much because it's their people and they're like, I just want to listen to Boundless. And I'm like, that's fantastic. But here's what you really need to do. You need to get into a church in your town that is going to be up in your grill, real eyes on you, to be in your business and help you move towards maturity in Christ. And so to go after that and be the person who wants to serve and wants to be spoken into and poured into is the person who can move towards marriage and become a viable part of a God honoring couple.” Finding your Special Person God Designed for You If you look in scripture, people did some crazy things to get a spouse. They didn't sit around waiting for God to mystically show a sign for this person. I mean, they enlisted other people to help them find a spouse. Proverbs 18:22 says, "He who finds a wife, finds what is good, and finds favor with the Lord,” not he who sits around assuming that there's one person out there that he has to elusively run into at some point, and then it'll just be magical. Lisa continues, “So I think, conservatively speaking, and the way that God has designed us to be in relationship with other people, is put in some good parameters for what this person is. Are they a disciple of Jesus Christ? What's their deal? Who are they in the things that matter? And then you pick one and that person becomes your one. So when you've done that, you put on the blinders and you become a student of that person, you become a servant of that person, you're mutually submitting to one another, loving one another, walking in faith together, sharpening one another, and that person becomes your one. And then you ca

Protecting & Prioritizing Your Military Marriage - with Dr. Lindsey Cavanagh I live in a really big military town, Virginia Beach, right next to Norfolk, VA, which houses the largest naval base in the world. We also have Langley Air Force Base in nearby Hampton, army bases nearby and marine bases. Because we have so much military here and Shaun and I actually have lots of military friends, I wanted to dedicate a specific episode to helping out our military spouses. In today's episode, we are blessed to have with us Dr. Lindsey Cavanagh, a psychologist, marriage coach, and podcast host of Married to Military. She is going to help us to learn how to have happy, healthy, and sustainable connected military marriages. Military marriages do not need to be disconnected. Military marriages do not need to have higher divorce rates than civilian marriages. So if you are in the military and you are married or if you're dating someone and they're in the military and you're wondering if you really want to get yourself involved in all of this, you are going to want to listen to this episode today. Now, enjoy a few snippets from my conversation with Lindsey. [Dr. Lindsey Cavanagh] I have worked with marriages outside of the military as well. And, certainly, marriage has challenges in and of itself, and some of them are very universal. I say when it comes to military marriages, one thing that comes up is like the deployments, you have the really long separations, whereas there are many careers that will take people away. The other thing that really comes down to military marriages is the military members are trained in a very specific way to be successful at work or in combat or whenever they need to be. . . to be very emotionless, to be very problem-solution-oriented, to be very defensive in their positions. And so, again, all of those things are needed at work, but they don't always translate into a healthy marriage when you're trying to do things like compromise or when you're having emotions that need to be addressed, which really comes up in marriage. So that's another area that I find that's really specific to military because they are all trained in this way. Spouses often say, I'm tired of being second priority. This is probably the number one thing that I help military spouses with because it comes up so often. They say, “I’m tired of my opinions and dreams not being validated.” One thing that I'll say to military spouses is you have to remember that the military does a really good job of giving constant information about what they need to do to advance their career and what kind of skills they need. They are constantly getting counseling about how and what to do to further their career so they are very confident in what needs to happen at work. Military Spouses Have Needs Too A lot of times, really what needs to happen is that we, as the military spouse, are really educating our spouse in terms of what we need and how they can support us. So often what I find is people will come to me and they say, “My spouse doesn't care. My spouse only cares about the military. They don't care about me.” Nine times out of ten, when you really dig into it, the military service member cares a lot. And they actually, even in many ways, feel guilty. This is where education from our side is needed, here is exactly how I want you to support me. Here is exactly how I want you to support the family. If I want my ideas and dreams to be considered when he's making his work decisions, I need to make sure that I'm telling him what those are. So really figuring out first what is it that you want from your spouse, how can your spouse support you, and then finding ways to start having those conversations. My spouse was really relieved once I started doing this because now he knows what to do at home to make me feel special, loved and valued even when I don't have as much control over life like the military does. So I find that oftentimes it ends up being a really great thing. It's just you have to put in that initial work and be really clear about what it is you want and what it is you need. Lindsey also talked at length about how to incorporate each other’s love languages into times of separation. Her insight was incredibly valuable and will help a lot of military marriages to stay connected even when they’re apart. If you’d like this military marriage episode to turn into a series where I do several episodes for military spouses, then make sure that you hit me up on Instagram. Links Mentioned in this Episode Married to Military Deployment Survival Guide Learn more about Dr. Cavanagh SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-

Trust and Accountability in Marriage How many times you have thought, I need to keep my husband accountable or somebody needs to keep me accountable and help me to stop eating Ben and Jerry's at 10:30 at night. When we look at accountability in that way, we are completely missing the foundational truth of what accountability is all about. The definition of accountability is acceptance of responsibility for one's own actions or behaviors. Did you guys catch that? Some of you need to let that sink in. It's accepting responsibility for our own actions, our own behaviors, and our own thoughts. When we think about accountability being external, or being directed at somebody else, we have already started to infringe on somebody else's boundaries, and we are trying to manage that person's behavior. In today’s episode we talk about how accountability should show up in your marriage or in your relationship and then how we can, first of all, keep ourselves accountable. If you're not willing to be accountable to yourself, chances are pretty slim that you're actually going to be accountable to somebody else. So how can you actually become accountable for your actions? And then if you are in a marriage or relationship, how then can you help to support your partner in helping them to be accountable? 4-Step Process to Accountability in Marriage FocusU.com is a website that's dedicated to providing impactful and engaging learning methods. It's really more of a business website, but I love a lot of the knowledge that they provide and find it’s helpful for relationships too. According to them, they actually have a four-step process to accountability. Step 1: See it Step 2: Own it Step 3: Solve it Step 4: Do it You have to muster the courage to see it. To see what? To see whatever the behavior is, whatever the action is that you need to be accountable for. It takes courage to be honest. It takes courage to really look inside of ourselves and to say, you know what, maybe I'm not strong in this area or maybe I'm not as strong in this area as I think I am or as I hope to be. That takes courage and it takes humility to do that. Next, we have to own it. Find it in your heart to own it. When I think about this, the word vulnerability comes to mind. Vulnerability goes a little beyond transparency; it takes it a step further where not only are you able to see me, not only am I showing you the truth of who I am, but I'm also willing to show you my heart, my internal motivations of why I do the things that I do. Not just looking at what I do, but why I do the things that I do. And so when we own it, then we have to be willing to be honest with ourselves, to deny our pride, and to be humble. We have to be willing to apologize for mistakes that we've made. That's all a part of owning it. Thirdly, solve it. Obtain the wisdom to solve it. What does this mean? Put those boundaries in place if need be. It's super important that we understand how to set boundaries in marriage. Another part of solving it is getting the wisdom to solve the problem. Get coaching, get help, get an outside perspective. Read your Bible; just do something, and find solutions to solve the problems that you are facing. Lastly, number four, do it. Exercise the means to do it. What does that mean? That means commit. Commit to doing the heart work. Commit to following through on your commitments. Okay, so now that you've gone through the steps, you've got the courage to see it, you've got the heart to own it. You're seeking out wisdom to solve it. Now you've got to commit to doing it. Holding Your Spouse Accountable A part of accountability in marriage is sometimes helping to hold your spouse accountable. Some of these areas include decisions, finances, sexuality, and technology. The truth is, you can’t “hold your spouse accountable” if they won’t allow you to. If they are open to accountability, you must be willing to offer feedback (positive and negative) and follow through on appropriate consequences. I hope this episode helps you to take your marriages to the next level, to begin to incorporate accountability as a welcome visitor, not like an expired tenant, in your relationship. Because without true accountability, there can truly be no trust. Accountability helps your partner, your spouse, to trust you. It helps you to be a trustworthy person. So embrace accountability and all of its facets in your marriage. Resources Mentioned in this Episode Episode 48: Setting Realistic Expectations in Marriage Episode 49: Setting Boundaries in Marriage Wife Life Coaching Mastermind Follow Real Relationship Talk and Dana Che on Instagram! SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Finally, please leave a rating and a comme

10 Signs Your Spouse Might Be Having an Affair Do you have a gut-wrenching feeling that your partner is being unfaithful to you? In today's episode, I'm sharing some not so obvious signs that your spouse might be having an affair. How do you know if something is really going on or if you're just being overly suspicious? There are many tell-tale signs that will help you to determine if your marriage or relationship has become vulnerable or even victim to infidelity. Don't Ignore the Red Flags It's important to not ignore the red flags. You know when something's off in your relationship, so instead of excusing it, deal with it. After you hear these ten warning signs, it may be difficult to have the hard conversation you need to have, but you must. Infidelity does not just go away on its own. Even if you never find out, the damage done to your relationship must eventually be addressed. There's an old saying that says, "When you see the world through rose-colored glasses, even the red flags just look like flags." In other words, when we choose to have our head in the sand instead of being aware and wise, we will overlook obvious warning signs. 5 Tell-Tale Signs Your Partner is Being Unfaithful Because you will glean so much more out of these warning signs when you listen to the full podcast, I'm only sharing five of the ten here in the show notes. In no particular order, five warning signs your partner or spouse is being unfaithful are as follows: Money goes missing and/or they begin using ATMs all of the sudden There is a lack of friendship, interest, or connection in your relationship Your partner becomes accusatory of your actions They become obsessed with their looks They start staying out late or taking extra “work trips” The other five signs are very eye-opening, so be sure to listen to the episode in its entirety. I want to leave you with this: I truly believe that every relationship has the potential to heal from infidelity. You don't "have" to stay or reconcile, and there are time when you shouldn't. However, if you want to restore your marriage and are both willing to put in the work, it can work. Links Mentioned in this Episode Episode 102: 12 Steps to Rebuilding Trust in Your Relationship When to Divorce Sign up for Wife Life SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

4 Steps to H.E.A.L After a Broken Heart Has your heart been broken due to a painful relationship or have you had your trust violated? Most of us have been through this unfortunate situation at some time or another. It's never easy mending a broken heart, but it is always possible. In today's episode, I'm sharing four ways to heal your broken heart using my acronym: H.E.A.L. These four steps are simple but, I'll admit, not easy. It's important to put to rest the myths concerning healing your broken heart if you are going to experience true and complete healing. You've heard the feel-good mantras like, "Time heals all wounds," or "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." While there may some truth to these, they don't give us the full picture. Time is a good accelerator to healing but it doesn't actually heal you. Listen in as I describe how to actually begin and complete the healing process for your heart, whether you've been betrayed by a spouse, a loved one, a friend, or someone else. These principles apply to all situations. And be sure to share this episode with someone who needs their heart to be healed too. Links Mentioned in this Episode Episode 13: The Power of Forgiveness in Relationships Episode 102: 12 Steps to Rebuilding Trust in Your Relationship SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

12 Steps to Rebuild Trust in Your Relationship Did you know that 1 in 4 marriages will experience infidelity? The good news is half of these marriages will survive it. Today, I'm giving you 12 steps to rebuild trust in your marriage or relationship. This is one episode you will want to refer back to should you find yourself in the unfortunate situation of affair recovery. I truly believe that all is not lost when someone commits adultery. Your marriage or relationship can survive this, but you need an action plan in order to succeed. You Need a Plan You've heard the saying: "Most people don't plan to fail; they fail to plan." Well, that's exactly how affairs happen and that's also how couples whose attempts to rebuilding after an affair go sideways. Again, you need a plan of action. Shaun and I know this path well. We've had to walk it out in our own lives. You can learn all about our journey of rebuilding our marriage after infidelity on Episode 3: Rebuilding Trust, Rebuilding Our Marriage. All is not lost in your marriage, and I believe that you truly can rebuild trust after an affair. Now, let me show you how. Other Links Mentioned in this Episode: Episode 88: The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in Relationships Episode 79: It Will Work If You Work It SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

How to Love Your Spouse When You Don't Like Your Spouse Many couples go through a stage in their marriage or relationship where they don't like each other. You know you should love your spouse, but if you're honest, there are times when you don’t even like them. This episode speaks to that dilemma and will give you some practical steps to take to rekindle the likability in your relationship. If we are ever going to grow into mature husbands and wives, we must first settle on the fact that love is not a feeling. Sure, you can "feel" loving feelings, but love is so much more than that. I learned this the hard way. Due to the marriage problems Shaun and I had for so long, I had started to become hopeless, thinking there was no way I could ever look at him lovingly again. I didn’t like him. I was often angry. I had been hurt too much. The Most Dangerous Prayer I remember back when we'd been married for around five years, I prayed a dangerous prayer: “Lord, teach me to love my husband like you do. Give me unconditional love.” I think that’s when the bottom fell out. I could not have imagined the trials we would encounter or the way God would take me up on my little prayer and teach me how to love . . . His way. God’s love is radical. It’s illogical. And we are so undeserving of it. He shows us this crazy, radical love and then asks us to show it to our spouse. And yes, you can do this even if you don’t like your spouse. I John 4:19 tells us that, "We love because he first loved us." When you realize the Source of true love, it becomes easier to love. In order for God to teach you how to love unconditionally, he has to show you people in their full humanity. #TweetThat. RECONNECTION IS THE KEY TO LOVING YOUR SPOUSE AGAIN In order to learn to like your spouse again, you are going to have to be intentional to find ways to reconnect. So many marriages are in habitual disconnection, caught in the hustle and bustle of life or trapped by past mistakes and unforgiveness. For more on unforgiveness, check out Episode 13: The Power of Forgiveness in Relationships. You can learn to like your spouse even if you don’t like him. A resource that might help you to do this is Keep Your Love On by author Danny Silk. Shaun and I took our marriage small group through this book over the course of a year, and it was super beneficial. Don't turn your love off! You can learn to love AND like your spouse again. If you need more help walking through this, why not schedule a discovery call with me at http://danache.com/coaching. It might be the first intentional step toward a revived relationship for you! Other Links Mentioned During this Episode: Episode 12: How to Stop Comparing Within Your Marriage or Relationship Episode 14: How these Hidden Fears Are Ruining Your Relationship SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

How to Get Your Spouse to Go to Marriage Counseling Why is your spouse so resistant to marriage counseling and what can you do to get him/her to go with you? I’m sharing 7ish relationship tips on today’s episode that you can do today to help your spouse or partner to be more interested in marriage counseling or coaching. Now, off the bat, there is a difference between counseling and coaching, which I share about in the show. You can also see some of the differences between coaching and counseling here. For many years, I tried, unsuccessfully, to get my husband to go to marriage counseling. The more I tried, the more Shaun resisted. So I upped the ante and moved to manipulation and shame. Those two always work, right? Um, wrong. The brother would not budge. I learned some very valuable lessons during that time in our marriage and to keep you from having to go through years of unnecessary trauma and drama, I’m sharing them with you today. 7 or 8 Tips to Get Your Partner to Go to Counseling Decide if counseling is really necessary. Encourage, don’t demand. Have the right motives (Beware of ulterior motives.) Don’t shame, blame, or compare. Work on yourself. Be careful what you wish for. Trust God and pray for a changed heart (yours included). Bonus: Don’t stay in counseling or coaching too long. Don’t just read the bullet points, though. Be sure to listen to the entire episode. I think this one is going to be a game changer for your relationship! Also, friends, WE ARE CELEBRATING OUR 100TH EPISODE TODAY!! Would you help me celebrate by writing a review on the podcast? It takes less than one minute. Thanks for listening. See you next week! Links Mentioned in this Episode Episode 12: How to Stop Comparing Within Your Marriage Episode 98: The Difference Between Nagging & Reminding Join an amazing community of wives in our next Wife Life cohort! SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

How to Stay Connected When You're Apart - with Shaun Williams In the lifespan of a marriage, you are likely to spend time apart, whether temporarily or more long-term. Today, we're discussing some creative ways to stay connected even when you're unable to be face-to-face. This episode was actually Shaun's idea, likely because we have spent a lot of time apart lately due to various business and work trips. We all know how easy it is to lose connection in marriage. Well, prolonged distance makes it even worse. That's why it's important to be proactive and diligent when you know that one or both of you will be away. Shaun and I discuss several times when we've been apart . . . from just a few weeks and even up to a year when he was away on military leave. We haven't always gotten it right, and each time we're apart, we learn more and more of what each other needs and ways we can help ensure the other spouse feels secure and important. I'm sharing some creative practices you can do the next time you or your spouse/partner takes a trip. So, grab a pen or better yet, save this podcast to refer back to. Happy listening! Links Mentioned in this Episode Episode 30: Commuter Marriages with Abe & Elaine Romero from Love in the Air Podcast SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

My Partner Says I Nag: The Difference Between Nagging & Reminding No one likes being called a nag. Truthfully, we're just trying to help our spouse/partner anyway, right? Just how do you tell the difference between nagging and reminding? I'm giving you six simple tips to stop nagging your spouse on today's episode. But first, did you know the Bible actually has something to say on this topic? Proverbs 27:15 says, "An endless dripping on a rainy day and a nagging wife are alike (CSB). The Brenton Septuagint Translation puts it like this: On a stormy day drops of rain drive a man out of his house; so also does a railing woman drive a man out of his own house. Dang. Basically, nagging drives our spouses crazy! It's ineffective communication that can actually cause resentment. How to Stop Nagging There are better ways to ask and even remind your spouse to do something you need. And speaking of reminding, don't do it more than twice. Here are some tips: 1. Ask, don't tell. 2. Be patient. Timing is everything. 3. Make it their decision. (We talked about this on episode 95: How to Get Anything You Want from Your Spouse 4. Use humor. 5. Use a (shared) calendar. 6. Do it yourself. Number six will change your life. Oh, the freedom of learning that you are not at the mercy of your spouse's slowness! If you find yourself nagging, which of these tips can you employ? Enjoy the podcast! And leave a positive review! Links Mentioned in this Episode Join an amazing community of wives in our next Wife Life cohort! SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Quick Tips to Fix Your Boring Marriage - Part 2 Friends, every marriage gets boring sometimes but it shouldn't stay that way. On today's show, I'm sharing some simple solutions to get your marriage out of a boring rut. If you haven't yet listened to episode 96 (I'm Married and Bored to Death!), you'll want to do so before listening today, as we're building on a foundation here. With all due respect, some of what you'll hear today might step on your toes a bit. I'm inviting you into some introspection and perhaps, even, a perspective shift. One thing we have to be careful about doing when assessing the state of our marriages is comparing them to someone else's marriage. It's easy to see the highlight reels of everyone and think we're missing out or we're stuck, when in all actuality, that might not be the case at all. So take a listen and let me know what other tips you'd share with someone who is dealing with a boring marriage. Links Mentioned in this Episode Episode 12: How to Stop Comparing Within Your Marriage Request marriage coaching with Dana Che SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

I'm Married and Bored to Death! If you've been married longer than a week, you know that sometimes marriage can be boring. But, boredom in marriage should only be temporary. In today's episode, I'm shedding light on why marriages grow stale and what's behind the perception that our marriages have gotten boring. For starters, let me say there is a difference between love and the feeling of being in love. If you're chasing "those loving feelings," you will make yourself susceptible to being bored in your marriage. JLo, one of my favorite celebs, has been quoted as saying she "loves the feeling of being in love." Think about that. If someone is looking to "be in love," what happens when the feelings die down? Boredom. It's no wonder why we have a generation of people unsuccessfully "searching for love." Today is part one of a two-part series I'm doing on this topic, because there are some key practices you can do to help alleviate boredom in your marriage. So, be sure to tune in for those marriage tips next week. In the meantime, enjoy today's show as we talk about a topic many married folks will not admit, but likely all have experienced. Ladies, check out my upcoming Wife Life group coaching mastermind launching in the fall! Links Mentioned in this Episode Episode 79: It Will Work if You Work It Episode 80: Feelings aren't Forever Register for the Wife Life Group Coaching Mastermind SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

How to Get Anything You Want from Your Spouse Are you tired of bargaining, manipulating, or arguing to get your needs met in your relationship? Are you frustrated that you can't seem to communicate the importance of what you want in your marriage? In today's episode, I'm sharing eight tips to get anything you want from your spouse (or partner, friend, co-worker, whomever . . . the skills are the same). You will learn how to state what you want clearly and concisely, how to make your partner think your idea was actually his/hers all along, how to make wishes instead of offering criticism, and so much more! There's no need to be frustrated in your marriage any longer. Now, keep in mind, all of these tips can and should be done WITHOUT manipulation. Be sure to listen to the full episode and start improving your ask with your next conversation. Links Mentioned in this Episode Episode 49: 5 Boundaries Every Marriage Needs And be sure to get in on our 9 Day Lovemaking Challenge! International Lovemaking Day is on June 9th. We’re kicked off the challenge on June 1st and have just a few more days left. Get all the deets at http://r.intimately.us/danache. SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

7 Ways Men Destroy their Marriage This one's for my fellas. Guys, your wives have been trying to tell you that you're destroying your marriage in one of these seven ways. Truthfully, it's most likely that your marriage might be falling apart in many more ways than just these seven, but we're talking about the big ones here. If you're humble and open enough to receive this wisdom, it will change how you show up in your marriage. Just to tease you, I'll give you the first three ways men are destroying their marriage: 1. You're not listening to your wife. 2. You're downplaying your wife's emotions. 3. You're working too much. You'll have to listen to the full episode to hear the remaining four ways, and I hope you do, because I want to help couples just like you to get unstuck and start loving and living life again. Oh, and here's some episodes you'll definitely want to listen to as a complement to this one: Links Mentioned in this Episode Episode 28: Need an Intimacy Fix? There's an App for That! with Dan Purcell (All About Sex Series) Episode 70: Can Porn Improve Your Sex Life - with Sathiya Sam (Shameless Sex Series) Episode 78: The Truth About Erectile Dysfunction & Masturbation - with Shawn Bonneted (Shameless Sex Series) And be sure to get in on our 9 Day Lovemaking Challenge! International Lovemaking Day is on June 9th. We're kicking off the challenge on June 1st. Get all the deets at realrelationshiptalk.com/9DayChallenge. SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

7 Ways Women Destroy their Marriages Ladies, do you know that you can single-handedly destroy your marriage with a few bad choices? That’s a lot of power. The good news is that the opposite is also true. You can also build (create, construct, set up, raise) the marriage of your dreams . . . but in order to do so, you must have wisdom. Proverbs 14:1 says, A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands. Sadly, there are many women destroying their marriages, and some don’t even know it. On today’s episode, I’m sharing seven ways women destroy their marriages. Save your eye roll, because next week we’ll discuss seven ways men destroy their marriages. Are you ready for the list? 7 Ways Women Destroy their Marriages 1. UNDERMINING YOUR HUSBAND’S INTELLECT OR ABILITIES 2. CONSTANTLY CHALLENGING YOUR HUSBAND, ESPECIALLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS 3. CORRECTING YOUR HUSBAND IN FRONT OF THE KIDS 4. SHARING YOUR HUSBAND’S ISSUES WITH YOUR FRIENDS You’ll have to listen to the rest of the episode to get the remaining three. The good news is if you’re still married, you haven’t destroyed your marriage beyond repair. But don’t wait until divorce papers are being filed to reach out for help if you need to. As a marriage coach, I help couples who are struggling all the time. It’s never too early or too late to get help. Can you think of other ways women destroy their marriages? I’d love to hear from you. Send me a message, and I’ll feature your response on my Instagram page. Be sure to tune in next week to hear about the 7 ways men destroy their marriages! SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Stop Avoiding Conflict: Do this Instead(Communication 101 Series) Do you avoid conflict at all cost? Maybe you think conflict is a bad thing in relationships or that "good relationships" don't have conflict. Actually, the absence of conflict in a relationship doesn't mean it's healthy; it just means it's likely shallow. If you spend enough time with a person, conflict will inevitably happen. On today's episode, I'm giving you five tips to stop avoiding conflict and what to do instead. It all starts with reframing the purpose of conflict. Have you ever wondered how can conflict actually serve your relationship? What can learn from it? How can it help you to grow? You'll need to also be willing to shed some faulty definitions about conflict and peacemakers. If your goal is to just keep the peace, you will ignore problems, ignore your feelings, and ignore opportunities to actually connect deeper in your relationships. Affirmations to Stop Avoiding Conflict We end the episode with three powerful affirmations you can say every day. 1. I am worthy of being heard and respected. 2. It's okay to feel how I feel. My feelings matter. 3. Approaching this conflict is making me better. Be sure to listen to the entire episode and if you're not also subscribed to the podcast, do that too! Are we friends on Instagram? I've been posting fun (and funny), marriage/relationship-related reels at http://instagram.com/mrsdanache. Let's meet up over there! Links Mentioned During this Episode: Episode 88: Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse Episode 90: How Men and Women Communicate Differently SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

What I'm Not Saying: The Keys to Nonverbal Communication (Communication 101 Series) We all know actions speak louder than words, and this is true, too, for nonverbal communication. It's not what we say, but how we say it. Research shows that only 7% of all communication is verbal, while the other 93% has to do with our tone, volume, inflections, gestures, etc. Sadly, most people don't prioritize the 93% of communication. Words do matter, of course, but what's behind the words matters more. In today's episode I share some practical tips to help you focus on your nonverbal communication and what these specific gestures communicate. It'll be interesting to hear how a simple change in intentionality concerning your nonverbal cues will improve your relationship. Links Mentioned in this Episode Ep. 89: 7 Tips to Become a Better Listener (Communication 101 Series) SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

How Men and Women Communicate Differently (Communication 101 Series) - with Shaun Williams Men are from Mars; women are from Venus, they said. How we communicate can differ as men and women. However, I want to help you take your communication skills out of this world! I couldn't resist. Back by popular demand, we have special guest, Shaun Williams, my hubby of nearly 23 years, on the episode today. He is in rare form, and I think we spent a solid quarter of this episode in hysterics. His shenanigans were on full display. Hopefully, you'll still find tons of value of out today's show. Is it really true that men and women communicate differently? Well, of course, some of these factors are generalizations, but the truth is, we are different. Men actually use different parts of their brain to communicate than women do. The science behind our differences is quite astounding. Add to that society's "norms," and you have yourself a recipe for a communication catastrophe. But it doesn't have to be this way. I'm Different than You If we could understand and acknowledge that we are different than our spouses/partners and that one way of communicating isn't better or worse than the other, we'd be so much better. Truthfully, opposites do attract, and we are better together. Different isn't bad; it's just different. Part of the joy of marriage is learning to appreciate, respect, and honor those differences. And the Winner Is . . . As promised, I announce the winner of our Podcast Review Contest on today's episode! THANK YOU to all who submitted a review. Reviews help others to find Real Relationship Talk and grow in their marriages and relationships. So, please, keep sharing, and keep the reviews coming in! Other Resources Mentioned on this Episode: 7 Tips to Become a Better Listener SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

7 Tips to Become a Better Listener (Communication 101 Series) Do you listen to understand or to respond? Here’s the hard truth: most of us are not good listeners even though we think we are. In today’s episode, you’ll learn seven tips on becoming a better listener and the art of wholehearted communication. I’m super passionate about this topic, because I see communication gone wild all.of.the.time. The good news is with a few tweaks, anyone can become a better listener and have more mutually beneficial conversations with those they care about. Psychology and Science Say You Don’t Listen Well Did you know that there are psychological and scientific reasons why we don’t listen well? First, our brains process what people are saying almost four times faster than the rate they’re saying it. This is why we finish each other’s sentences (and cut each other off). Listening is, indeed, an art. Secondly, our brains can’t handle too much information, so it begins to weed out what it deems unimportant or unneeded (like your spouse’s request for you to clean the gutters or pay off that credit card). But let’s not blame science. Let’s learn from it. Become a Better Listener in 7 Ways I truly believe most of us have good intentions when it comes to listening. We just don’t complete the mission. In the podcast episode, I share seven practical tips to listening better, including listen with your eyes, listen without pre-conceived judgments, listen for the main point, listen to what’s actually being said (and what’s not being said) and more. If you follow these principles, you will notice a significant improvement in your relationships and marriage. Be sure to listen to all seven tips on the podcast. And remember, you have one more week to enter the podcast review contest! The winner will be announced LIVE on the May 3rd episode! To enter: 1. Listen to an episode 2. Write a review on Apple Podcasts 3. Email me to let me know you’ve submitted a review. Find great listening exercises and more on hearing vs listening here. SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in Relationships (Communication 101 Series) Did you know there are four major communication problems that will wreck any relationship (also known as the four horsemen of the apocalypse)? These communication blunders are often practiced unbeknownst to the person. Thankfully, marriage researcher Dr. John Gottman has discovered what these four communication problems are and solutions to help us learn how to communicate better. On today’s episode we’re talking about these four horsemen: criticism, contempt, defensiveness,, and stonewalling. You might refer to the four horsemen as different names, but after listening to the episode, you’ll likely arrive at the same solution: they can’t remain in a healthy relationship. To help you destroy these four horsemen, I am sharing some antidotes or solutions that will allow you to practice better communication in your relationships. This is one episode you’ll want to chew on a little bit. Don’t just listen and keep to business as usual. Which of these four horsemen do you identify with? How can you change your heart and your behavior in order to practice more effective ways of communicating? What’s really at the core of why you’re communicating this way? These are all heartfelt questions that I hope you’ll work through. After you hear today’s episode, you’ll walk away with some practical tools to communicate better. I guarantee it. Share this episode with your spouse or loved one and see if you agree on what horseman (or multiple horsemen) have hijacked your relationship. Remember, we are launching our Podcast Review Contest today! You can win a $50 Amazon gift certificate when you do the following: Listen to an episode Write a review on Apple Podcasts Email me to let me know you’ve submitted a review The winner will be announced on the May 3rd episode! Thanks in advance for your awesome review! Resources and Links Mentioned During this Episode: John Gottman’s Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse Real Relationship Talk Episode 86: It’s Not You; It’s Me (I Statements) Real Relationship Talk Episode 87: The Silent Treatment vs Silence SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

The Silent Treatment vs Silence (Communication 101 Series) If you’re like me, you can give a good silent treatment. The problem, though, is that the silent treatment is a terrible method of communication. Whether you "go ghost" due to fear, being unheard, frustration, or manipulation, intentionally icing out your partner can cause major disconnection in your relationship. At best, it stalemates the conversation. At worst, it communicates that you do not care about your partner or his/her needs. But there is a better way. Alternatives to the Silent Treatment In today’s episode, we talk about six alternatives to the silent treatment when attempting conflict resolution. Spoiler alert: one of these ways is to do a walk and talk. I love a good walk and talk. It lowers the temperature of the conversation in several ways. For starters, it allows you to have challenging conversations without staring into each other's eyes or intentionally diverting eye contact. When you're walking, you're usually looking straight ahead for the most part. We also discuss whether the silent treatment can ever be beneficial. Also, is there a difference between silence and the silent treatment? If so, what is it? I believe that silence can benefit your relationship and help with communication if you follow a few “rules.” For starters, you need to decide how long you’ll be silent. Also, what’s the purpose for your silence? Have you communicated this to your partner? Be sure to listen to the full episodes to hear the remaining alternatives to the silent treatment. I hope you’ll practice these in your marriage or relationship as you continue to grow in your communication. ALSO LISTEN TO EPISODE 86: IT'S NOT YOU; IT'S ME (I STATEMENTS) SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

It's Not You, It's Me (Communication 101 Series) Have you ever been in a conversation with someone who constantly tells you all the things you're doing wrong instead of how they're actually feeling? No bueno, right? Most people have never learned the tools of good communication, so they do things like make accusations, abdicate responsibility for their feelings and/or choices, and incorrectly assign motive to their partner's behaviors. But, oh friends, there is much better way. Learning how to use "I statements" is not only effectively but gives your partner an inside look at the real you: what you're thinking and feeling. "I Statements" Formula In today's episode, I am going to coach you on how to use a very simple four-part formula to communicate your feelings and needs. You will learn how to better use your words for more effective conversations. "I statements" have made such a difference in how I communicate not only with Shaun but with everyone! It's so freeing to not have to be the judge of every one's choices and motives. You should try it! If you're already using "I statements," I'd love for you to share some of your powerful statements with us! Let us know in our Facebook group or email me ! SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

The Best Defense for Offense: Plus that Will Smith Slap! (Communication 101 Series) Do you find yourself getting offended easily or often? Today, I'm sharing six steps to help you avoid offense, plus we have to talk about the Will Smith/Chris Rock slap heard around the world! Here's the deal: Jesus, himself, said, "Offenses will surely come..." (Luke 17:1). BUT, we don't have to take offense. We can truly learn how to live unoffendable. Imagine not only saying "no offense," but actually living this way. The Will Smith / Chris Rock Slap But first, that Will Smith slap! If you watched the Oscars (which, let's be honest, most of us didn't!), we heard about Will Smith slapping comedian Chris Rock clear across the face. I share my thoughts on that situation in this episode. But more importantly, I share how this situation helps us to ask one very important question of ourselves when we are offended. Living Unoffendable I'd love to spell out all six ways to help you avoid offenses but I really want you to listen to the full episode, so I'll give you two. You'll have to listen to the full episode to get the other four: Don't assume the worst; believe the best Stop looking for offenses Do you have other tips to help avoid offenses? We'd love for you to share them in our Facebook group. SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Preparing for Difficult Conversations (Communication 101 Series) Do you struggle with starting difficult conversations in your relationships? It’s easy to get overwhelmed when you need to communicate a problem or an issue. But did you know that there are actually action items or steps you can take before the conversation that can help steer you in the right direction and make your conversations more successful? In today’s episode, I am sharing four ways to prep for difficult conversations. Be sure to listen to the full episode to get the “sauce” on these four tips. Tip 1 - What’s your purpose? Tip 2 - Timing matters Tip 3 - Have a singular goal Tip 4 - Pray This prep work is intentional but it doesn’t have to be intensive or time-consuming. Once you begin to build this new rhythm into your communication, you will notice a major difference in the outcome of these conversations. Sadly, many people don’t think (or prepare) before they speak. They just spew, but that doesn’t have to be you! You can decide to be a better communicator and a better partner by simply applying these four tips on the front end of your conflict conversations. Need more coaching tips? Schedule a free discovery coaching call with me today at http://danache.com/coaching. ALSO READ: 20 TIPS FOR CRITICAL CONVERSATIONS SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

A Marriage Restored After Divorce, Drugs, & Deconstruction - with “Out of the Dust’s” Chris & Steph Teague Not many marriages recover from the depths of drugs, deconstruction, and divorce, but that’s exactly what happened to our guests, Chris & Steph Teague, from Out of the Dust music. Not only did the Teague’s experience the loss of their marriage but also a loss of Chris’s faith. These former high school sweethearts never imagined a reconciliation was possible, but then, the miraculous happened. Come hear about how God turned Chris and Steph’s lives completely around as they share openly and vulnerably about the darkest time in their lives. This episode is sure to bring hope to hopeless marriages and situations. And as a special bonus, we’ve interwoven snippets of their newest album, The After, into the podcast. If you think their story is beautiful, just wait until you hear their music! If God did it before, he can do it again. It was an absolute honor interviewing these two. Learn more about Chris & Steph and hear Out of the Dust’s music at http://outofthedustmusic.com. SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

5 Signs You're Doing Relationships Right We often focus on what's wrong in our relationships and marriages, but in this episode, I'm giving ya'll kudos for doing relationships right. How do you know if you're on the right track in your relationship? Hint, hint, most of these signs start with the mind. What do you really believe about yourself? Your partner? How do you view him or her? What do you focus on? You'll have to listen to the full episode to get the rundown on all five signs, but they include practices like being secure in who you are, keeping short accounts (yeah, that's a big one!), and keeping hope alive in the face of disappointments. Here's the deal . . . every relationship and EVERY marriage will hit turbulence at times. That doesn't mean your relationship is unhealthy. It just means you have work to do. The foundation of this podcast is to help couples to really think about the actual structure of their marriage or relationship. This is heart work, ya'll! I'd love to hear from you! What are some more signs that people are doing relationships right? Share them with me on Instagram or Facebook! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

The Female Orgasm: Get'n Real - with Julie Sibert Listen, these days, there’s a lot of faking it going on when it comes to women having orgasms. But let’s get real. My guest, intimacy expert Julie Sibert, and I are answering your questions and demystifying the important yet often overlooked female orgasm. The truth is there are many women who have never, and I do repeat, never experienced an orgasm. There are also women who “fake it til they make it.” But these situations are living below the pleasure potential that married sex provides. Learning to Communicate Your Needs Julie shares her journey in learning to openly communicate her sexual needs and desires with her husband and how that intentionality revolutionized her sex life. She also discusses ways that women can take the initial step from awkward conversations in order to help her husband learn her body and how she would like to receive pleasure. Talking about sex in an honest yet wholesome way is crucial for wholehearted marriages. We have got to get over the shame, stigma, and fear of “going there” in these conversations. Orgasms are a part of sex, and not just for the man. Need I repeat? If you are a husband, and your wife is not consistently experiencing orgasms, it’s time for you to re-evaluate. Married and dare I say, Christian married sex, needs to be mutually beneficial. Around the 14 minute mark, Julie discusses how faking orgasms brings a lie into your marriage. That one statement is worth an offering. I’m serious. You’ve got to listen to the full episode! Our hope is that after listening to today’s episode, you never experience boring sex again. Not every encounter has to end with utter euphoria, but both spouses should give and receive sexual pleasure on a consistent basis. Want to listen to more wholesome advice on married sex? Be sure to listen to the entire Shameless Sex Series on the podcast, especially these: Episode 76: 8 REASONS WHY WOMEN WON’T INITIATE SEX (SHAMELESS SEX SERIES) Episode 77: HOW TO HAVE NON-AWKWARD CONVERSATIONS ABOUT SEX WITH YOUR SPOUSE – WITH SHAUN WILLIAMS (SHAMELESS SEX SERIES). Links Mentioned in this Episode Learn more about Julie and Intimacy in Marriage. Jumpstart Your Intimacy: A Video Series for Wives SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Feelings Aren't Forever Are you "feeling some kind of way?" While we all feel the feels from time to time, we can't be ruled by our feelings. In marriage and relationships, feelings are fickle. Feelings aren't forever. They come and they go. As a matter of fact, feelings are meant to be a gauge not a guide. They're indicators not instructions. This is why we should never make major decisions solely based on how we feel. I've seen many marriages end because one or both partners were feeling some kind of way about each other and about the fate of their relationship. Nothing pains my heart more than to see people let go of their potential due to a short-lived season of flawed feelings. While we should all be in touch with our emotions, we need to remember that we control our feelings. They don't control us. In today's episode, I share some powerful truths to combat the feelings fiasco and help you to make solid decisions in spite of how you feel. You're going to want to listen to the entire episode. Our podcast downloads are way up! Thanks so much to all of you who subscribe to the podcast and share these episodes. You're making a difference in the lives of future listeners! Let's keep it going! And check out this helpful blog post I wrote on "In My Feelings." You can find it here. SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

It Will Work If You Work It If you want your marriage to work, you have to work it. I know that seems too simple, but the truth is a thriving marriage takes effort. If we want to succeed in anything in life, we have to be intentional and put in the effort. Nothing worth having comes easy. We all know that. So why, then, do we fail to realize this in our marriages? Today, I’m sharing five ways to be intentional and actually put that effort into your marriage. You have to have a purpose for your marriage. If you don’t know the purpose of a thing, you will abuse it. What is the purpose of your marriage? You need to learn yourself. What makes you happy? What makes you tick? Do you actually know yourself? If not, it will be difficult for you to know your spouse. You need to learn your spouse. We aren’t the same people we were when we got married. If you think, “I know my spouse already,” you’ll setting yourself up for failure. Keep learning. Stay curious. Decide on marriage goals. #marriagegoals is a popular hashtag, but it has to be more than that if you want your marriage to succeed. What are some goals you can accomplish together as a couple? Get feedback. When we want to improve, it’s crucial that we elicit feedback from others better than we are. Ask your spouse. Ask a mentor couple. Again, keep learning and keep growing. The universal language of love is effort. So, put in the effort! If you work your marriage, your marriage will work! Links Mentioned in this Episode 8 Reasons Women Won’t Initiate Sex - Episode 76 SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

The Truth About Erectile Dysfunction & Masturbation - with Shawn Bonneteau (Shameless Sex Series) Erectile dysfunction is one of those secret symptoms men don't like to talk about when it comes to their sexual health. However, statistics show that 1 in 3 men under the age of 40 experience erectile dysfunction (ED), and the vast majority of these men are or have been addicted to pornography. But porn isn't the only cause of ED. We've been taught that erectile dysfunction is a medical problem, and though it can be, there are other factors. Psychological issues and past trauma can also be contributing factors of erectile dysfunction, according to my guest, Shawn Bonneteau. As a certified professional mentor who's helped countless men overcome pornography addiction and ED and armed with his own personal journey with both, Shawn sheds light on what the little blue pill won't help with. Throughout our conversation, we also talk about masturbation and how it affects women and men. This is one conversation you're going to want to listen to multiple times. Grab something to take notes with and listen to this powerful conversation! Learn more about Shawn and his wife Helena's coaching at https://secrethabit.ca. Links Mentioned in this Episode The Overcoming ED Mini Course The Secret Habit Podcast Real Relationship Talk - Ep. 70 - Can Porn Improve Your Sex Life - with Sathiya Sam SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

How to Have Non-Awkward Conversations About Sex with Your Spouse - with Shaun Williams (Shameless Sex Series) My hubby Shaun is our guest today, and we're talking about how to broach the conversation of unmet desires, fantasies, and unrealized hopes concerning sex in your marriage. This is one episode you'll want to hear especially if talking about sex makes you squeemish or triggers feelings of embarrasment, shame, or even pain. The truth is talking with your spouse about sex should be normal. Somehow, society has made it weird. How should you start? When should these conversations take place? What does it mean for Christian spouses to embrace their sexuality? What if talking about your sex life makes you more insecure? Shaun and I tackle all these hesitations and more in today's show. Plus, hear a listener's question in our Q & A with Dana Che segment concerning a previous episode on why married sex is the best sex. SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

8 Reasons Why Women Won’t Initiate Sex (Shameless Sex Series) If you’re a woman who struggles with initiating sex, a man wondering why your wife won’t initiate, today’s show is just for you. A common sexual issue in many relationships is a difference in sex drives. Generally speaking, men seem to have a higher sex drive and initiate sex more often than women do. But why? Is it truly the way they were created? I think not. On the podcast, I share eight reasons I believe many women struggle when it comes to initiating sex. #1 – Women have been socially and even spiritually conditioned to believe that “good girls” don’t like sex or that ladies do not pursue. This is a sad reality that has caused sexually-driven women to feel confused or ashamed. #2 – She might feel awkward initiating sex, because she doesn’t know how. If a woman has been fed faulty messages concerning her sexuality and wasn’t sexually active prior to marriage, she might not know what to do. #3 – Women may struggle with a fear of rejection. No one wants to make a move and be rejected. So instead of trying, she may decide to just allow things to happen “if they happen.” #4 – She may be too tired. I know this sounds like a lame excuse, but it’s often true. There is so much pressure on women to be domesticated divas, at the top of her game at work, mommy of the year, and then she has to be “Ready Betty” at night. It’s a lot to keep up with! You’ll have to listen to the full episode to get the other four reasons why women won’t initiate sex. And after you do, I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to add to this list by writing a comment in the show notes of this episode. And as a bonus, I also share four easy ways for women to initiate sex. Hint, all of these ways are practical and simple. Even the shyest wife can do these! Links Mentioned in this Episode Real Relationship Talk – Episode 27: Lopsided Libidos – How to Deal with Different Sex Drives Real Relationship Talk – Episode 75: Why Married Sex is the Best Sex SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

7 Reasons Married Sex is the Best Sex (Shameless Sex Series) Sex outside of marriage is touted as the norm or ideal sex, but today’s episode covers reasons why married sex is actually the best sex. The Bible has a lot to say about sex, and some people don’t understand why. Some wonder does God really care what people do behind closed doors. Well, my friends, the answer is yes. One of the best explanations of this can be found in I Corinthians 6:18-20. I love how the Message translation puts it: There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, “The two become one.” Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never “become one.” There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for “becoming one” with another. Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body. IMO (in my opinion), that’s all the reason we need. Still, there are some who don’t esteem God’s words in the same way that I do, so I give six (well, actually there’s an additional bonus reason included) ways why married sex is the best sex. Maybe you have additional reasons you’d like to add to our list. If so, feel free to email info at danache.com and share your nuggets of wisdom! SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

The Lowdown on the Hookup Culture: Five #Facts (Shameless Sex Series) Society seems obsessed with free sex. The hookup culture is alive and well, and it’s not just millennials or Gen-Zers engaging in sex on demand. In today’s episode, I’m giving you 5 reasons the hookup culture is no bueno and 5 practical steps to exit right out of it. Many of us have been sold a lie that in order to embrace our sexuality, we need to be “sexually free,” or promiscuous, for lack of a better word. There are no rules, right? Do whatever pleases your fancy. The truth is the hookup culture has caused more pain, heartache, and loss than it’s worth. Whether or not you are a Christian, there are many reasons why the hookup culture isn’t a great idea. These reasons range from scientific reasons to spiritual reasons. Here are a few (You’ll have to listen to the full episode to hear them all): Risks of Premarital Sex The hookup culture is responsible for a higher divorce rate. The hookup culture is responsible for fake intimacy (This is really important. Please listen around the 13:12 mark.) The hookup culture hinders commitment. I go into much detail on these three and two additional “risks” of premarital or extramarital sex. But let’s not just talk risks . . . let’s talk about real, practical steps people can take when trying to turn their sexual lives around. Practical Steps to Exit the Hookup Culture Decide to become accountable to yourself. Real accountability is an inside job first. DO NOT rush into marriage. This might sound counterintuitive coming from a pastor and marriage coach. But trust me, marriage will not solve your self-control issues. Watch what you watch. This is another very important simple step in the right direction. To hear the additional two tips for exiting the hookup culture, be sure to listen to the full podcast. Remember, we are invited to live in freedom, but sexual freedom is not what our culture teaches us it is. The apostle Paul writes in Galatians 5:13, For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love (NLT). Other Helpful Resources: Web MD – Benefits in Delaying Sex Until Marriage Why Premarital Sex is a Bad Idea Need Relationship or Marriage Coaching? SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Why Lysa TerKeurst Called Quits on Her Marriage Proverbs 31 Founder Lysa TerKeurst announced this week that she was divorcing her husband of nearly 30 years due to his repeated patterns of behavior that have violated their marriage (i.e. infidelity). This statement isn't new to Lysa; she made a very similar statement in 2017 when Art, her husband, was caught in adultery. However, the TerKeursts walked through a journey of repentance, forgiveness, and reconciliation, and renewed their vows in 2017. Sadly, it appears Art returned to his cycle of destruction and now their marriage is irretrievably broken. There are some lessons we can learn from why Lysa's decision to end her marriage, which I share plainly in this episode, along with her official statement. If your marriage is suffering from adultery, or if it ever has . . . heck, if you don't want your marriage to experience infidelity, you need to listen to the full episode. Learn more about how to protect your marriage by downloading my free e-book 5 Mistakes that are Wrecking Your Life at http://relationshipmistakes.co.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Best of 2021: Year in Review Oh, what a year! There have been highs and lows, but we brought the best of the best with this top 10 countdown of our most popular episodes of the year. Counting down from the tenth most downloaded episode to the number one most downloaded show was a sweet trip for me down memory lane. I’m sure these shows are some of your faves as well. Be sure to listen to today’s episode for my commentary on the significance of each show. Top 10 Relationship Podcast Episodes in 2021 10 – Episode 69: Oral Sex: Oh My! (Shameless Sex Series) 9 – Episode 55: How to Get Over an Argument Quickly (Young & Married Series)* 9 – Episode 25: Lies Women Believe about Sex – with Molly Moses (All About Sex Series)* *Episode 55 & Episode 25 tied for the #9 spot. 8 – Episode 48: Setting Realistic Expectations in Marriage – with Jenard Moore (Young & Married Series) 7 – Episode 27: Lopsided Libido: How to Deal with Different Sex Drives (All About Sex Series) 6 – Episode 24: Rethinking Intimacy – Redefining Sex – with Sheila Wray-Gregoire (All About Sex Series) 5 – Episode 41: When Life Falls Apart: Unearthing Treasure in the Unexpected – with Hallie Lord (Hope Series) 4- Episode 26: Making Love Outside the Bedroom – with Shaun Williams (All About Sex Series) 3 – Episode 36: How Guys Think: A Single Man Bares All – with Avery Martin (Single AF Series) 2 – Episode 40: Dealing with Disappointments (Hope Series) 1 – Episode 49: 5 Boundaries Every Marriage Needs (Young & Married Series) I hope you enjoy listening (or re-listening) to these episodes! And tell me, what was your favorite episode or episodes from the podcast? SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

A Very Sexy C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S (Shameless Sex Series) Christmas is right around the corner, and we’re celebrating by sharing these sexy Christmas tactics to help you and your boo have the sexiest Christmas ever! These practices are also good for the other 364 days of the year, of course. However, in the hustle and bustle of buying gifts, decorations, hosting and attending Christmas parties, etc., it’s easy to lose sight of our most important relationship. I’m sharing nine ways for you to focus on your spouse this Christmas and re-energize your sex life. Because I’ve always loved a good acronym, I’m giving you a gift of a beautifully illustrated acronym for the word Christmas. Each letter represents an important “must-have” sex tactic to help refresh and renew your sexual connection. The following acronym will help you have a better sex life if it is: C-ommitted H-oly R-espectful I-ntentional S-pontaneous T-imely M-eaningful A-dventurous S-exy Now, you’ve got to listen to the full episode (it’s a short one today!) to hear all the goods. Maybe you could add to this list or even come up with your own acronym! I’d love to hear it. Links Mentioned in this Episode Episode 9: 6 Ways to Build One Extraordinary Marriage with Less Talking Episode 70: Can Porn Improve Your Sex Life? With Sathiya Sam (Shameless Sex Series) Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community! SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Can Porn Improve Your Sex Life? Do you watch porn or wonder if it can improve your sex life? Today, our guest, Sathiya Sam, shares some shocking revelations about porn and its effects in marriage and life in general. You may not know, but the average age of porn exposure is 11 years old. #LetThatSinkIn. Also, I share my own story of my introduction to porn and my not-so-great response years later when I found my kids had also discovered it. Here’s the truth. Porn can be a shameful vice. This podcast series is on shameless sex, so having this conversation is necessary for couples who are wondering if watching porn can actually enhance their sex lives. It’s a valid question for many, and Sathiya shares some valid stats with us on porn’s actual effects in our relationships. First, he shares his own personal journey with pornography, saying, “Porn was my reward and my relief at the end of the day.” It didn’t start as an addiction for this pastor’s kid who knew right from wrong, but rather, like most vices, was a gradual process. More than behavior modification, those who want to walk away from porn need something more. They need to be set free of the shame that feeds the cycle of porn, and they need to be able to have honest and SAFE conversations with people who are in their corner who can help. Here’s the thing . . . [SPOILER ALERT]: Porn may start off as a thrilling experience in your sex life, but it almost never lasts. It causes more devastation than it’s worth, and it robs you of the true intimacy you’re after. There is a better way to better intimacy, which I share here. Learn more about Sathiya and his new book The Last Relapse (out on 2/2/22) and download your free resource “The Ultimate Recovery Guide” using the links below. Links Mentioned in this Episode Unleash the Man Within Podcast Sathiya’s Ultimate Recovery Guide SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Oral Sex: Oh My! (Shameless Sex Series) We're diving deep and talking about oral sex and all its wonders. Grab your spouse and listen in as we debunk some myths about oral sex. Plus, you’ll never look at one particular Bible hero the same! It’s all here as the inaugural episode in our shameless sex series, dedicated to helping you recover the beauty of being “naked and unashamed.” Check out these interesting articles on my “bonus content” at the end of the show: https://www.premierchristianity.com/home/bible-stories-uncensored-ruth-the-maneater/1011.article https://ymi.today/2020/04/does-the-end-truly-justify-the-means/ And for the nitty-gritty techniques of marital sex, visit http://themarriagebed.com. Finally, check out episode 23 and episode 25 (what the church forgot to teach us about sex and lies women believe about sex, respectively) to continue the conversation. Let’s stay connected: On Facebook: @therealrelationshiptalk On Instagram: @danachewilliams On YouTube: @danacheunlimited Real Relationship Talk is a marriage and relationship podcast that helps couples build better relationships by having honest conversations about sex, marriage, commitment, and lasting love. Hosted by marriage coach Dana Che Williams, the podcast is challenging yet conversational and tackles real issues real couples are facing in an encouraging, often humorous, and authentic way. Dana Che and her hubby, Shaun, live in Virginia Beach, have been married for over 22 years, and have four children. Need marriage or relationship coaching? Visit http://danache.com. Be sure to subscribe to the podcast on whatever platform you're listening to! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Forget Compatibility! Great Relationships Require Intentionality - with Dr. Joli Hamilton - Part 2 Everyone wants to find someone they’re compatible with, but what if we’re looking at this the wrong way? Dr. Joli Hamilton is our guest for part two of this conversation. Do opposites really attract? Is it true that we create our compatibility? And if so, how does intentionality play a role? The truth is, we are different. And when you decide that being different is not only okay but preferred, you’ll unlock another dimension in your relationship. You can’t force your partner to be the same as you. Love is about flourishing and growing and being who you were meant to be. Sadly, Dr. Hamilton reminds us, that often the things you wish you could project on your partner or spouse are the things you wish you could own about your own life. That is a deep revelation! What have you been disowning about yourself that you need to reclaim? Own it. Don’t ask your partner to take on these things. High Functioning Couples Joli and I also discussed the roles in high functioning couples. Often, power struggles occur because of a lack of intentionality in conversations and structure. “Some people think relationships should be really easy or really hard, and these two people are usually married to each other,” says Dr. Hamilton. That’s going on Instagram today! Have a Vision for Your Marriage/Relationship The Bible says, “Where there is no vision, the people cast off restraint” (Proverbs 29:18). Having a vision (or purpose statement, as Joli calls it), is vital to a healthy relationship. Without knowing where you’re headed, you’re bound to run around in circles, get frustrated, and ultimately “cast off restraint.” Another way to say this is that you’ll lose the fight for your relationship. You might stay together, but you’ll be distant at best. So, create a purpose or vision statement today. At the end of the day, when you’re ready to up-level your relationship, all it takes is deciding. “Love is a learnable skillset,” Joli says. Stop groping around in the dark and decide to create compatibility by intentionality. Be sure to listen to the full episode by clicking the episode link. Links Mentioned in this Episode Get real with The Curiosity Date Get Joli’s book: Project Relationship: The Entrepreneurs Action Plan for Passionate, Sustainable Love Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community! SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Growing Together While Staying True to You – with Dr. Joli Hamilton Growing together in relationships is critical to its success. Today, we are joined by psychologist Dr. Joli Hamilton who shares the importance of unmasking (being the real you) while also striving to grow together in your relationship. Joli and I do not share the same beliefs when it comes to certain major aspects of relationships, yet I hope you can see this conversation as a model on how to find common ground on the things you do agree on while still remaining open to learn new methods of relating to others. It’s good stuff! I started the interview by asking Joli, “Do you believe there’s a special person out here for someone?” Her answer will make you pause and think. We also discussed why growth is an important concept for us to understand in relationships. We are meant to help one another grow together. Relationships tend to bring out our real selves, but sadly, instead of owning our part, many of us we blame our partner, when all they’re doing is holding a mirror up to what’s really going on inside of us. #thatpart Some other nuggets from Joli: ‘Be more interested in each other’s growth than your own comfort.” “Love is about knowing someone completely and being fully known.” “Some couples practice not feeling their life.” (Whoo lord! That was deep!) And then Joli talked about a concept called “Individuation.” I just like the sound of the word, but the concept is also an important one. This episode was full of so much gold that I split it into part one and part two. I hope you’ll enjoy it as much as I did. SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Until Death Do Us Part (Marriage Vows Series) If I had to vote on the most important phrase of the marriage vows, it’d be “until death do us part.” In today’s episode, we are discussing the final phrase of the traditional marriage vows, capping off our 10-part series where we have dissected the wedding vows phrase by phrase. Marriage is sacred, yes. And it is meant to last forever. That word forever means f-o-r-e-v-e-r. It is not temporary. It is not until your “love” wears out. Marriage is a lifetime business. Today, we’re discussing the meaning and weight behind these powerful five words. The words that literally mean life or death. In our throwaway culture, forever can seem like a suggestion. But to God, it was anything but. Take a listen to the full episode and be challenged to shore up your conviction on what forever is all about. Links Mentioned in this Episode Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community! Want Dana to Coach Your Marriage? SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Forsaking All Others (Marriage Vows Series) – with Shaun Williams Part of the wedding vows that can get a little sticky is the whole “forsaking all others” part. What does that mean? Can married people really not have friends? That’s not how I read it. I do, however, believe that once you’re married, all other people have to take a backseat to the marriage bond (oneness) you are trying to create. If there’s a friend (platonic or not) that is threatening your union, they’ve gotta go. Kids? Give ‘em the ax! Well, maybe not technically, but if you have kids, you know they will try to come in between your marriage. Don’t let them. Co-workers, best friends, parents, etc., all these relationships have to be re-evaluated. Now, while I don’t believe in isolating yourself as a married couple, I do believe in using wisdom and communication to know how best to “re-categorize” some folks in your life once you get married. Real and Raw Today’s episode was real and raw, and if I think about it long enough, a tad embarrassing, because Shaun and I had a little argument on the podcast. Yep, I kept it in there, so don’t judge us. This information will be used for training purposes. Anyway, I’d love to hear your take on what does it mean to “forsake all others” in your marriage? How have you done this well, and how have you messed up? If we can be real, so can you. This is a worthy conversation that many married couples are simply not having. Yet, they should. Communicate your needs, desires, and even fears about your spouse’s relationships with others outside your marriage. I want to make something clear: you should retain autonomy of yourself in whatever relationship you’re in. This isn’t some weird, cultish “lose yourself” teaching. You are a unique individual and will always be, but remember the purpose of marriage is oneness. Okay, that’s all the teasers I’m going to give you. You have to listen to the full episode to get the rest of the goods. Links Mentioned in this Episode Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community! Want Dana to Coach Your Marriage? SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

In Sickness and In Health (Marriage Vows Series)- with Chris and Tamara Satterfield My cousins, the Satterfields, who are battling cancer and heart issues in their young marriage join us today as we discuss "in sickness and in health." As we continue in our marriage vows series, we'll discuss what happens when a spouse becomes very ill. Sadly, serious illness is a contributor to divorce in many marriages, believe it or not. When spouses should normally draw closer together in unity to overcome illness, not all couples find the strength or will to do this. By committing to love your spouse whether they're in good health or if they fall ill, you are vowing your unconditional love and support to him/her. Too often, couples breeze through their wedding vows without really giving thought to what they're committing to. Tamara and Chris Satterfield share very openly about their battle with cancer and heart health issues in their marriage. They talk about the highs and lows of marriage in this season and the importance of grace, empathy, and communication. Join the conversation! Links Mentioned in this Episode Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community! More ways to show honor in your marriage SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

[Sweet Repeat]: How Passivity & Apathy are Silently Killing Your Marriage This episode is a "sweet repeat" of Episode 11 of the Relationship Mistakes series where my husband, Shaun, and I discuss some of the silent killers of relationships. Apathy, or the "I don't care" mentality is wreaking havoc in marriages. If you or your spouse are passive, constantly disappointed, or are growing cold in your relationship, this episode is for you. Click here for the show notes of the original podcast episode.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

For Richer For Poorer (Marriage Vows Series) As we continue our marriage vows series, it’s time we talk about money in marriage. Specifically, how we can create a financial plan that will increase communication and decrease conflict. Today, my friend, Dr. Michelle Lappin, a certified wealth coach with Dave Ramsey, is our guest on the podcast. She gives very practical advice on how to have conversations about money, how to start saving, and when you should invest in more riskier avenues like the stock market. Did you know that financial problems account for an overwhelming majority of divorces? The need for honest and open communication about money is urgent. Michelle’s goal is to help people to create a healthier mindset when it comes to finances. My goal is to help couples build healthier relationships. Together, we are going to help you overcome your money challenges. Typically, couples repeat whatever patterns they observed in their families of origin. This can lead to major problems in their marriages if both spouses aren’t on the same page. Join the conversation and take away some practical tips that will help you to overcome financial challenges and truly create wealth in your marriage. Links Mentioned in this Episode Learn More About Dr. Michelle Lappin’s Financial & Wealth Programs Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community! SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.