Nuzzle House

The mystery of a murder that is kinda solved by entering the exciting world of paperwork. A witch is involved, though, only barely. Go on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/the-haunted-looking-glass/9780940322684?aid=12554&listref=leaves-of-glen Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

Finally, an actual scary ghost story. No weird crap tacked on at the end. Just two people walking into a haunted house, seeing some scary stuff, then leaving. Perfect.Go on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/the-haunted-looking-glass/9780940322684Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

This author really hates overweight men. That is pretty clear. And he thinks bible-reading-wives are boring as hell. Put it all together and you have the making of a good paranormal murder story.Go on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/the-haunted-looking-glass/9780940322684Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

A story of revenge by some kind of... Ghost? Or something? I read the whole thing and couldn't make any sense of it. Maybe you canGo on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/the-haunted-looking-glass/9780940322684Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

A story of a woman who's being harassed by a man even though she's already got a boyfriend, so the man kills the boyfriend. Then the boyfriend-ghost kills the guy. Pretty standard stuff.Go on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/the-haunted-looking-glass/9780940322684

He didn't die. I don't know how else to make that clear. I'm sick of people trying to be all cute with, "Are you sure? Maybe the Headless Horsemen claimed another victim..." and smile all smugly to themselves. Irving made it perfectly clear that he was alive and well in another city. End of story. I'm not dealing with this anymore.Go on, read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/the-legend-of-sleepy-hollow-9780812504750/9780812504750Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

We read the 4th and 'final' book in the Twilight saga. And it's off to an amazing start- where the first 3rd of the book is all about Bella's wedding and honeymoon. That's pretty much it.We learn:Ben’s employer hosted a fundraising event for Donald Trump... For a president who knowingly put all his supporters at risk.Glen got laid offGretchen gets new music for her segmentGlen got laid offGo read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780316067935Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

A lanky, skinny-man decides to move in on the only woman in town who is delicious as food, and he loves how all the animals on her dad's farm is just living food. This episode is about a hungry teacher who just wants to eat what he lusts after.Go on, read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/the-legend-of-sleepy-hollow-9780812504750/9780812504750Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

Well, I wrapped this turd up. Basically it was a hypnotist. That's it. But at least I got to hang out with a friend in the middle of the episode and have a burger. That was nice.Go on, read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/the-haunted-and-the-haunters-9781511915489/9781511915489Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

The full title of this is 'The Haunted and the Haunters: Or The House and the Brain' if that doesn't give you a hint at how convoluted this story is going to be. It's so long that I had to break it up into two episodes. Ugh. My spooky October stories is off to a horrible start.Go on, read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/the-haunted-and-the-haunters-9781511915489/9781511915489Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

If this story doesn't teach you not to bury your sister when she exists between the dimensions of living and dead, then nothing will.Go on, read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/the-haunted-and-the-haunters-9781511915489/9781511915489Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

I... I think he dies at the end? I have no idea what happened at the end besides a long speech about how "life is a dream" or something.Go on, read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/the-haunted-and-the-haunters-9781511915489/9781511915489Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

We decide to test out our new audio situation by live-watching 'Twilight' the movie. It's a hoot if you're watching it with us, but if you're just listening- all you're going to hear is us breathing a lot and it won't make sense. Especially when Ben explains all of Edwards weird expressions being the result of an eternal struggle with puberty.We learn:Ben is inching closer to a romantic relationship with is physical therapistGretchen explains how a tufted tit-mouse will eat your hairGlen tries not to crack up during a funeralGretchen gets Ben to make bird noisesGo watch it with us:https://www.hulu.com/movie/twilight-0984bd81-c037-49b1-a42a-1cbe93a1a4e9Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

A group of thieves show up to a council meeting. And that's about it. It pretty much has no point. It's ok to skip this episode.Go on, read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/best-russian-short-stories-9798645523077/9798645523077Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

Never trust a ghost, especially if you’re the one who killed them. Even more especially if they couldn’t understand basic fashion while they were alive.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/best-russian-short-stories-9798645523077/9798645523077Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

Two grown men read a book for really, really young children. We learn that this series has nothing to do with homeless children who ride the rails solving mysteries. They are, in fact, privileged kids living in a small town where everyone respects them.We learn:Ben’s employer won’t let him work from home even when he has a bum legGretchen explains how birds can have secret families… Like a salesmanGlen gets ripped off by a racist tree guyGo read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780807506455Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

When a story is depressing as hell in the first page and a half- you wouldn’t think it would get any worse. But it does.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/best-russian-short-stories-9798645523077/9798645523077Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

The best way to pick up women is when they’re dying and you’re the only doctor for miles.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/best-russian-short-stories-9798645523077/9798645523077Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

The story of an unattractive woman who is lonely, but it doesn’t matter since she suddenly winds up in prison for no reason and dies. Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/best-russian-short-stories-9798645523077/9798645523077 Be sure to check out "Besties with Katie & Emily" podcast: https://twitter.com/bwkepod https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/besties-with-katie-emily/id1430595555 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

This week we finish Fifty Shades of Grey by E. L. James. And we give up- it’s just too annoying. The worst part, after all that work of trying to get through this turd, there isn’t even really an ending.We learn: The word "grins" shows up 124 times in this bookGretchen actually got Ben to make a bird sound with his mouthThere is actually a fur glove used during a sex sceneBen’s whole leg is getting disgustingThere 124 "frowns” in the bookGo read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/fifty-shades-of-grey-book-one-of-the-fifty-shades-trilogy/9780345803481Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

Another week, another depressing Russian short story. This one about a man who spends the night homeless, and gets hot kisses from a homeless lady.Go on, read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/best-russian-short-stories-9798645523077/9798645523077Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

More depressing Russian stories- This one about a man who was wrongfully imprisoned for murder. Does he get out? Nope. He dies. I’m just telling you that now.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/best-russian-short-stories-9798645523077/9798645523077Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

This week we read Fifty Shades of Grey by E. L. James. Again. And we’re both pretty sick of this book. We agree we’re not reading any more of them after this, and Ben’s impression of Ana is AMAZING.We learn: It’s Ben’s birthday! And he blows my surprise by telling everyone before I can.Glen's birdhouse kills birdsGretchen has a backyard ‘Ben’s Birthday’ blast for usBen’s knee looks disgustingGlen knows someone who believes in Q-anon crap.Go read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/fifty-shades-of-grey-book-one-of-the-fifty-shades-trilogy/9780345803481Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

I know what kind of books to read for every season, but not in this weird period when summer ends and school starts. So you get a really depressing story by a Russian author. Have fun with that.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/lazarus-9780343434168/9780343434168Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

The story wraps up where both Tom and Huck are rich- and no one brings up the fact that it’s stolen money and the police should be called to return it. And good ‘ol Huck just wants to sleep in a barrel again. Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

This week we read Fifty Shades of Grey by E. L. James, and it gets hot- and by “hot” I mean slow, boring, and a near carbon copy of Stephenie Meyer’s painful style of writing.We learn:Gretchen has a backyard butterfly blast for usBen realizes that being single sucks when you need a ride to knee surgeryGlen has built a reading nook in his houseGo read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/fifty-shades-of-grey-book-one-of-the-fifty-shades-trilogy/9780345803481Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

The kids escape the cave! Weirdly they run into Joe down there and Tom is pretty casual about it. Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

The kids keep an eye on the “spaniard” and “Injun Joe” for a few days then Becky Thatcher comes back! So Tom pretty much forgets about the murderer and the gold to go hit on her. A big party is planned and Huck and Becky wind up missing- which kind of takes the shine off the fact that Huck saved a woman’s life.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

This week we read Fifty Shades of Grey by E. L. James, and boy it’s ‘warm and husky like dark melted chocolate fudge caramel…or something’. That’s actually a quote from the book. We learn: Gretchen has been sitting on a mountain of material while we were outBen is ‘free now’, whatever that meansGlen is trying to get crows to eat his baconAlso- this is what Glen thinks Christian Grey’s hands look like:https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BM61H0TCAAAuK24.jpgGo read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/fifty-shades-of-grey-book-one-of-the-fifty-shades-trilogy/9780345803481Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

While in the old, haunted house- the fella’s find Joe and “the dirty spaniard” are hiding out there. They also have a ton of money they want to bury. While burying it, they stumble upon even MORE treasure that someone had buried before that! It’s a great day for Tom and Huck until Joe realized that someone is watching them…Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

For no reason Tom suddenly decided to start looking for buried treasure. No one is available except for his ‘slummy’ friend, Huck. Who, again, says the n-word needlessly. Lots of fun.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

The boys feel guilty about ‘ol Muff. They visit him at his prison window again and he… he touches their faces. Ugh. Tom feels so guilty that he finally confesses- when he has his time in court, Joe throws himself out the window and escapes. Tom is famous again, but fears for his life.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

There’s a whole thing about a school performance involving poetry, then a list of events the town has through the summer. Doesn’t really tie in with my racism story, but oh well.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

We learn: People are finally wearing masks at Ben’s work! Inspired by Gretchen, Glen has purchased a bird bath. Gretchen has a bird blurb- but Glen ruins it by yelling at his catBen reads a passage of the book and it’s wonderful Go read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/hardy-boys-04-the-missing-chums/9780448089041Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

Tom gets called out for lying (again). But thanks to his penchant for kissing on the lips, he is still ok. And he gets Thatcher to love him again. Things are really coming up “tom” this episode.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

The guys decide to go home with their secret plan. It works like a charm and soon all three are the talk of the town after they show up at their own funeral. Becky’s into Tom again, and they play the game of ‘cat and also cat’ with each other. In the end no one is happy.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

The fellas start to get homesick. Tom took off to spy on his aunt and found out that their parents think they’re all dead, which is a dream come true for any little boy. After a thunderstorm and a questionable nude scene, they relax with a pipe before they begin their next adventure.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

Lucky for tom, when he decides to live an ‘outlaw life’ he’s got lowly friends to be there with him. They try to tough it out, until Tom sneaks off to be back in civilized life where his aunt makes him real food… Just like the life I’m living with my new washer/dryer- except that I can’t go back to life before my eco-friendly washer/dryer.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

We learn: Ben has nearly nothing going on over the last two weeks. Glen only has boring stories about his deck Gretchen holds the show together AGAIN with a Owl joke and another Bird Blurb Go read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/eclipse/9780316027656Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

Guilt is a powerful force- the same guilt that guides a boy into a world of pain also guides a middle-aged man to wear the same underwear for 4 days.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

Racial Stereotypes abound in chapter 9 as ‘Injun Joe’ kills a man. And as Tom and Huck are on the run, they still manages to drop the n-word. And Tom’s fiancé breaks it off.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

When the stress of being engaged is too much, Tom turns to pagan rituals and fantasy.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

If a small boy asks a small girl to get engaged, does anyone in pre-civil war Mississippi notice? Find out in today’s episode.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

We learn: Ben's only news is that he doesn't like his job. Glen didn't do much besides watch illegal fireworks Gretchen holds the show together AGAIN with a 'toad tidbit'. Ben still keeps trying to work the 3-way joke Go read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/eclipse/9780316027656Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

We Learn about Huck Finn, who is considered the town low-life. Though I don’t see why. Anyone who walks around with a dead cat seems fine to me. We also learn how to successfully hit on a woman.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

Not a lot happens. Just a bored kid in church getting pinched by pinch bugs. Though, since nothing carries over from chapter to chapter- I’m beginning to believe that Mark Twain invented the situational comedy format.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

We learn: Ben gets really upset that his bird news isn't as exciting as Gretchen's.Glen social-distanced in RochesterGretchen holds the show together AGAIN with a duck blurb and a weather jokeGlen spent hours editing this to keep it around an hour. But no one ever thanks him...Go read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/eclipse/9780316027656Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

I visited a friend in another city, and I can’t make it tie into an episode where Tom Sawyer lied his way into a brand new bible.Go on, read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

Covid still exists, weirdly enough. And this chapter teaches you that you can use it to fake your own death. Though, you might get a bed pan's "water" thrown on you. Go on, read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

We learn:Ben has no news. None at all. Glen successfully avoids a woman's love. Gretchen holds the show together with another 'bird blurb' and the recipe for a summertime drink. Glen thinks that the term "Jew's harp" is probably racist. Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.