Nuzzle House

When a story is depressing as hell in the first page and a half- you wouldn’t think it would get any worse. But it does.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/best-russian-short-stories-9798645523077/9798645523077Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

The best way to pick up women is when they’re dying and you’re the only doctor for miles.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/best-russian-short-stories-9798645523077/9798645523077Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

The story of an unattractive woman who is lonely, but it doesn’t matter since she suddenly winds up in prison for no reason and dies. Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/best-russian-short-stories-9798645523077/9798645523077 Be sure to check out "Besties with Katie & Emily" podcast: https://twitter.com/bwkepod https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/besties-with-katie-emily/id1430595555 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

This week we finish Fifty Shades of Grey by E. L. James. And we give up- it’s just too annoying. The worst part, after all that work of trying to get through this turd, there isn’t even really an ending.We learn: The word "grins" shows up 124 times in this bookGretchen actually got Ben to make a bird sound with his mouthThere is actually a fur glove used during a sex sceneBen’s whole leg is getting disgustingThere 124 "frowns” in the bookGo read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/fifty-shades-of-grey-book-one-of-the-fifty-shades-trilogy/9780345803481Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

Another week, another depressing Russian short story. This one about a man who spends the night homeless, and gets hot kisses from a homeless lady.Go on, read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/best-russian-short-stories-9798645523077/9798645523077Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

More depressing Russian stories- This one about a man who was wrongfully imprisoned for murder. Does he get out? Nope. He dies. I’m just telling you that now.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/best-russian-short-stories-9798645523077/9798645523077Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

This week we read Fifty Shades of Grey by E. L. James. Again. And we’re both pretty sick of this book. We agree we’re not reading any more of them after this, and Ben’s impression of Ana is AMAZING.We learn: It’s Ben’s birthday! And he blows my surprise by telling everyone before I can.Glen's birdhouse kills birdsGretchen has a backyard ‘Ben’s Birthday’ blast for usBen’s knee looks disgustingGlen knows someone who believes in Q-anon crap.Go read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/fifty-shades-of-grey-book-one-of-the-fifty-shades-trilogy/9780345803481Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

I know what kind of books to read for every season, but not in this weird period when summer ends and school starts. So you get a really depressing story by a Russian author. Have fun with that.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/lazarus-9780343434168/9780343434168Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

The story wraps up where both Tom and Huck are rich- and no one brings up the fact that it’s stolen money and the police should be called to return it. And good ‘ol Huck just wants to sleep in a barrel again. Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

This week we read Fifty Shades of Grey by E. L. James, and it gets hot- and by “hot” I mean slow, boring, and a near carbon copy of Stephenie Meyer’s painful style of writing.We learn:Gretchen has a backyard butterfly blast for usBen realizes that being single sucks when you need a ride to knee surgeryGlen has built a reading nook in his houseGo read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/fifty-shades-of-grey-book-one-of-the-fifty-shades-trilogy/9780345803481Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

The kids escape the cave! Weirdly they run into Joe down there and Tom is pretty casual about it. Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

The kids keep an eye on the “spaniard” and “Injun Joe” for a few days then Becky Thatcher comes back! So Tom pretty much forgets about the murderer and the gold to go hit on her. A big party is planned and Huck and Becky wind up missing- which kind of takes the shine off the fact that Huck saved a woman’s life.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

This week we read Fifty Shades of Grey by E. L. James, and boy it’s ‘warm and husky like dark melted chocolate fudge caramel…or something’. That’s actually a quote from the book. We learn: Gretchen has been sitting on a mountain of material while we were outBen is ‘free now’, whatever that meansGlen is trying to get crows to eat his baconAlso- this is what Glen thinks Christian Grey’s hands look like:https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BM61H0TCAAAuK24.jpgGo read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/fifty-shades-of-grey-book-one-of-the-fifty-shades-trilogy/9780345803481Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

While in the old, haunted house- the fella’s find Joe and “the dirty spaniard” are hiding out there. They also have a ton of money they want to bury. While burying it, they stumble upon even MORE treasure that someone had buried before that! It’s a great day for Tom and Huck until Joe realized that someone is watching them…Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

For no reason Tom suddenly decided to start looking for buried treasure. No one is available except for his ‘slummy’ friend, Huck. Who, again, says the n-word needlessly. Lots of fun.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

The boys feel guilty about ‘ol Muff. They visit him at his prison window again and he… he touches their faces. Ugh. Tom feels so guilty that he finally confesses- when he has his time in court, Joe throws himself out the window and escapes. Tom is famous again, but fears for his life.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

There’s a whole thing about a school performance involving poetry, then a list of events the town has through the summer. Doesn’t really tie in with my racism story, but oh well.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

We learn: People are finally wearing masks at Ben’s work! Inspired by Gretchen, Glen has purchased a bird bath. Gretchen has a bird blurb- but Glen ruins it by yelling at his catBen reads a passage of the book and it’s wonderful Go read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/hardy-boys-04-the-missing-chums/9780448089041Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

Tom gets called out for lying (again). But thanks to his penchant for kissing on the lips, he is still ok. And he gets Thatcher to love him again. Things are really coming up “tom” this episode.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

The guys decide to go home with their secret plan. It works like a charm and soon all three are the talk of the town after they show up at their own funeral. Becky’s into Tom again, and they play the game of ‘cat and also cat’ with each other. In the end no one is happy.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

The fellas start to get homesick. Tom took off to spy on his aunt and found out that their parents think they’re all dead, which is a dream come true for any little boy. After a thunderstorm and a questionable nude scene, they relax with a pipe before they begin their next adventure.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

Lucky for tom, when he decides to live an ‘outlaw life’ he’s got lowly friends to be there with him. They try to tough it out, until Tom sneaks off to be back in civilized life where his aunt makes him real food… Just like the life I’m living with my new washer/dryer- except that I can’t go back to life before my eco-friendly washer/dryer.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

We learn: Ben has nearly nothing going on over the last two weeks. Glen only has boring stories about his deck Gretchen holds the show together AGAIN with a Owl joke and another Bird Blurb Go read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/eclipse/9780316027656Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

Guilt is a powerful force- the same guilt that guides a boy into a world of pain also guides a middle-aged man to wear the same underwear for 4 days.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

Racial Stereotypes abound in chapter 9 as ‘Injun Joe’ kills a man. And as Tom and Huck are on the run, they still manages to drop the n-word. And Tom’s fiancé breaks it off.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

When the stress of being engaged is too much, Tom turns to pagan rituals and fantasy.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

If a small boy asks a small girl to get engaged, does anyone in pre-civil war Mississippi notice? Find out in today’s episode.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

We learn: Ben's only news is that he doesn't like his job. Glen didn't do much besides watch illegal fireworks Gretchen holds the show together AGAIN with a 'toad tidbit'. Ben still keeps trying to work the 3-way joke Go read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/eclipse/9780316027656Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

We Learn about Huck Finn, who is considered the town low-life. Though I don’t see why. Anyone who walks around with a dead cat seems fine to me. We also learn how to successfully hit on a woman.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

Not a lot happens. Just a bored kid in church getting pinched by pinch bugs. Though, since nothing carries over from chapter to chapter- I’m beginning to believe that Mark Twain invented the situational comedy format.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

We learn: Ben gets really upset that his bird news isn't as exciting as Gretchen's.Glen social-distanced in RochesterGretchen holds the show together AGAIN with a duck blurb and a weather jokeGlen spent hours editing this to keep it around an hour. But no one ever thanks him...Go read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/eclipse/9780316027656Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

I visited a friend in another city, and I can’t make it tie into an episode where Tom Sawyer lied his way into a brand new bible.Go on, read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

Covid still exists, weirdly enough. And this chapter teaches you that you can use it to fake your own death. Though, you might get a bed pan's "water" thrown on you. Go on, read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

We learn:Ben has no news. None at all. Glen successfully avoids a woman's love. Gretchen holds the show together with another 'bird blurb' and the recipe for a summertime drink. Glen thinks that the term "Jew's harp" is probably racist. Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

A fathers day lesson on how kids just don't care about you. They don't care about you at all. They'll go out of their way to hurt you through lies and deception every time.Go on, read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

I decide to spend my summer reading a classic story about young boys scrappin' and yellin'. I also begin the long journey of navigating a minefield of racist language. Sit back and enjoy an American classic.Go on, read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

One story about appreciating the morons you live with by comparing them to even worse morons. And another about why you should never screw over a freelancer. Go on, read it yourself:https://www.feedbooks.com/book/4040/the-red-fairy-bookVisit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

We also learn: Ben actually likes being in the office again.Glen's is starting to think his lawn work is a compromise in his dignityGretchen is trying to get crows to give her giftsBen is finally as ignorant as Glen, and he doesn't like how it feelsGo read the books yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/ghostbusters-the-original-movie-novelizations-omnibus/9781789094664Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

A story about the failure of quantim computing... because it has 'down-time' like the weather? Oh well.Also: I get to fight with a bug who kept crawling around on my screen- that's probably pretty fun for you to hear.Go on, read it yourself:https://manybooks.net/titles/variousother09Thoughtcrime_Experiments.htmlVisit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

This week we talk about a couple of books:The 7 1/2 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle - by Stuart TurtonClaudia and the Phantom Phone Calls - by Ann M. MartinWe also learn:Ben is back on his jobGlen's lawn and unicorn riot are the only things keeping him saneGretchen keeps taking her segment to the maxGlen's dad won't stand for abstract talk about his 1959 Peugeot 403Go read the books yourself:The 7 1/2 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastlehttps://bookshop.org/books/the-7-1-2-deaths-of-evelyn-hardcastle/9781492670124Claudia and the Phantom Phone Callshttps://bookshop.org/books/claudia-and-the-phantom-phone-calls-9781338642216/9781338642216Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

Took a break during the protests in my city before recording this episode. I was hoping that the story would be a nice break, but nope. The hero of our story is a jerk to the very end.Go on, read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/day-of-the-moron-9781530351428/9781530351428Listen to Miette's Bedtime Story Podcast here:https://www.miettecast.com/Follow Miette on twitter:https://twitter.com/mietteVisit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

This week we talk about a couple of books:Dying Every Day: Seneca at the Court of Nero - by James RommThe Great Alone: A Novel - by Kristin HannahWe also learn: Ben Gets to keep his jobGlen's neighbors LOVE his lawn Gretchen is taking her segment to the next levelGo read the books yourself:Dying Every Day: Seneca at the Court of Nerohttps://bookshop.org/books/dying-every-day-seneca-at-the-court-of-nero/9780307743749The Great Alone: A Novelhttps://bookshop.org/books/the-great-alone-9791158511159/9781250229533Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

An opinionated and sexist jerk decides to make all his employees take an intelligence test. Because he's convinced 'morons are going to blow the building up'. We get to learn a lot about unions too... ugh.Also, I tried to have my window open so you could hear the soothing sounds of life outdoors like Miette from her 'bedtime stories' podcast. But that'll go south pretty quick when you have drunk neighbors.Go on, read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/day-of-the-moron-9781530351428/9781530351428Listen to Miette's Bedtime Story Podcast here:https://www.miettecast.com/Follow Miette on twitter:https://twitter.com/mietteVisit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

This is that last book that anyone who is going insane from quarentine should ever read. But I did.Go on, read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/the-yellow-wallpaper/9781680920703Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

This week we talk about a bunch of books:Sapiens - by Yuval Noah HarariThe Woman in Black - by Susan HillRingstones - by Sarban (John Wall)We also learn:Ben is worried about losing his jobGlen decides to start smoking a pipeGretchen gives us another chance with a new gardening tipGlen is deeply inspired by Michael JordanBen refuses to admit he's afraid of losing his jobGo read the books yourself:Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankindhttps://bookshop.org/books/sapiens-a-brief-history-of-humankind/9780062316110The Woman in Black: A Ghost Storyhttps://bookshop.org/books/the-woman-in-black-a-ghost-story-9780307950215/9780307950215Ringstoneshttps://bookshop.org/books/ringstones/9781627553605Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

We learn about an idolater who will do whatever it takes to get the gods to listen to his prayer... Just like Michael Jordan.Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/wonder-tales-the-book-of-wonder-and-tales-of-wonder/9780486432014Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

A man finds a town where people only die when they hear a voice calling their name- and somehow he manages to ruin it. Go on, read it yourself:https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/540Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

This week we talk about a bunch of books:The Sparrow - by Mary Doria RussellMy Work Is Not Yet Done - by Thomas LigottiWe also learn:Ben's free and easy lifestyle may be over soonGlen learns that making carbonated milk isn't worth itGretchen pushes back on criticisms of her gardening tipsGlen hates his new catVisit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

I read a weird, proto-Snow White story, where only one dwarf seems self-aware and the witch dies in iron dancing shoes. Also, my love of Josh Gad died when he sexualized himself. Go on, read it yourself:https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/540Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

This week we talk about a bunch of books:Behold the Dreamers - by Imbolo MbueThe witches of New York - by Ami McKay In the House upon the Dirt Between the Lake and the Woods by Matt BellWe also learn: Ben has a REALLY nice set of legs Glen needs a more 'Adventurous Palate' More gardening tips from Gretchen! Glen is obcessed with Josh Gad Ben might start dating people on GoodreadsVisit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.