Nuzzle House

There were flies in my basement, which is gross and I didn't want to record anything. So I've included two short stories that I had pre-recorded for the 'Cultured Bumpkin' podcast:'The Quarrel Between the Dogs and the Cats and Between the Cats and the Mice' by Jean de La FontaineAnd'My Financial Career' by Stephen Leacock---Be sure to listen to the 'Cultured Bumpkin' on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts:iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cultured-bumpkin/id1441593958Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/jacob-phillips-103249813This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSend in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/support

I read one story about a boy with a deadly imaginary friend- and another about a tiny, vengeful God.EnjoyThis episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSend in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/support

Have you ever wanted to hear what two middle-aged men think of Young adult novels? Well now you got a couple of book boys to do that for you as we read chapters 1 - 5 of 'The Subtle Knife' by Philip Pullman. We learn that: * Ben had a nice weekend he didn't think to tell us about until halfway through the episode * Phillip Pullman decided to tie up the loose ends that we talked about in the last book * Ben doesn't think there's enough bears so far * Both our dads were Pabst-men This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/support

Just as poor Gregor begins feeling human feelings toward his sister- he gets snubbed by three hipsters. After his family says they'd be happier if he were dead- he does just that.This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSend in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/support

Gregor is getting the hang of being a bug- but things go south when his sister tries to take down his Farrah Fawcett picture.This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSend in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/support

We decided to torture ourselves by reading Sean Penn's book because we thought it would be 'fun'. And it wasn't. At all.This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSend in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/support

You know what's weird? Waking up as a giant beetle, and not being so grossed out that you don't stop worrying about getting to work.You know what's weirder? Your boss showing up at your house to see if you're faking sick.Enjoy.This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSend in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/support

The chapter is only 3 pages, and serves to let you know how badly their revolution failed - and hints that poor Avis is captured as she stops mid-sentence.Finally DONE!This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSend in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/support

Ernest is BACK! And creepier than ever as he takes Avis's unconscious body up to the roof of the hospital to romantically watch an air balloon battle. We're almost done people. We're almost done...This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSend in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/support

Lots of killing- thank god for Garthwaite or else Avis might have been one of the mass of people who were swept into Lake Michigan.Enjoy.This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSend in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/support

Avis is a mole now- and instead of worrying about her own self, she spends all her time wondering what Ernest is up to.The battle in Chicago has been found out- so Avis and some guy named "Hartman" head there to try to help.There's a lot of racist name-calling of the train's staff. Oh, the classics...And street urchins seem to have psychic knowledge of when battles are about to happen.Enjoy.This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSend in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/support

Have you ever wanted to hear what two middle-aged men think of Young adult novels? Well now you got a couple of book boys to do that for you as we read chapters 18 - 23 of 'The Golden Compass' by Philip Pullman. In this episode we find out that bear-fights are way cooler than wizard fights. Ben's coworkers read 'picture books' Daemon sex, is the hottest kind of sex Ben wants to see how Glen's dating 'plays out' And that half of the characters problems wouldn't be problems if they'd just use the golden compass moreThis episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSend in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/support

Ugh- Ernest makes Avis pretend to be his sister when they travel… He’s going too far with his kink. We also learn that basically nothing has changed with society since chapter 1. Great. Nice “revolution” guys.Enjoy.This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSend in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/support

Avis does such a good job playing into her husbands fetish that he doesn't even recognize her.They capture a rich man's son and brainwash him only to have him die of Pneumonia when they release him.Enjoy.This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSend in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/support

Have you ever wanted to hear what two middle-aged men think of Young adult novels? Well now you got a couple of book boys to do that for you as we read chapters 14 - 17 of 'The Golden Compass' by Philip Pullman. In this episode we learn:Ben won't tell us about his weekTurks are jerksBen would rather order something from Target online, than walk 6 blocksLyra could have avoided being abducted if she just used her awesome compass Enjoy.This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSend in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/support

We find out that Avis has to dress up and act like another woman because Ernest has a fetish. ’Frisco Reds isn’t a baseball team- they’re murderous anarchists. And Jacksons whiny lawyer is a coward to the very end.This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSend in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/support

Have you ever wanted to hear what two middle-aged men think of Young adult novels? Well now you got a couple of book boys to do that for you as we read chapters 10 - 13 of 'The Golden Compass' by Philip Pullman. In this episode we learn about:Glen's failed dateHow a car crash can emasculate youThat Ben isn't respected at workThat Lyra doesn't use her awesome compass very muchEnjoy.This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSend in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/support

Avis and Ernest are in prison- but that doesn't stop all the texting. There is page, after page of description of the mountain. And we end with Avis sleeping in a hole. Genius. Oh, and terrorists are 'ol softies.This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSend in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/support

Ernest tries to do a 'magicians exit' and it doesn't go well. And that's pretty much it. That's what Jack London considers a chapter.This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSend in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/support

Well, everything falls apart. I don't think even Ernest would cluck his tongue that this mess.This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSend in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/support

Have you ever wanted to hear what two middle-aged men think of Young adult novels? Well now you got a couple of book boys to do that for you as we read chapters 6 - 9 of 'The Golden Compass' by Philip Pullman. Enjoy.This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSend in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/support

Have you ever wanted to hear what two middle-aged men think of Young adult novels? Well now you got a couple of book boys to do that for you as we read the first 5 chapters of 'The Golden Compass' by Philip Pullman. Enjoy.This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSend in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/support

Labor unions have nice homes, good schools, wide lawns... and guns. Also, Jack London gets a little racist on asians and Florida is called a 'waste-place' where Native Americans pray to their gods. Ugh.Enjoy.This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSend in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/support

This episode isn't worth listening to. Ernest just goes off on another tangent for the millionth time. We learn that Being in a union isn't a 'seat in paradise'. Which was weird. Oligarchs love art! That was surprising. And that they will build 'wonder cities'. Which doesn't seem so bad. This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSend in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/support

We get an economics lesson. But not from Ernest this time- it's just the author flat-out telling us directly at this point. There's a war between the US and Germany, and the socialists 'kinda' helped. This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSend in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/support

Oh the poor bishop. First he's sent to an insane asylum because he keeps scooping up prostitutes in his "broham", and when he gets out he helps an old women with her pants while obsessing over potatoes. But then he runs into Avis and Ernest- and once again his life goes into ruin. This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSend in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/support

Bad news: Avis's dad lost his house. So the gang has to move to a San Francisco slum. Good news: Ernest marries Avis! Though, their pet-names for each other are horrible. And there's a bad poem.This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSend in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/support

Finally we get a chapter where Ernest isn't talking all the time. Avis's dad's book gets blacklisted. So that stinks. We got some kind of action with the socialists fighting the oligarchs and we learn about a group of 'rabble-rousers' called the 'black hundreds'. This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSend in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/support

In this chapter, I had a guest as my temporary Pete for the evening. The story continued with Ernest STILL TALKING at the small business owners and it's the most boring thing on earth. Enjoy.This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSend in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/support

Ernest makes... ugh... another speech. This time to whiny small business men. And that goes on for pretty much the whole chapter. Also? The word "combinations" is used way too much. I don't even know what to say at this point. It's eight chapters of one character talking too much. This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSend in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/support

A priest rounds-up prostitutes, and tells everyone about it. But the media won't say a word. Ernest called it. And Avis is impressed. I'm really hoping the story starts at some point soon...EnjoyThis episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSend in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/support

In this chapter we find that Ernest might have to find a new place to squat. Avis's dad was told to go on vacation- possibly without pay. Avis's world crumbles around her as all her friends are tired of her going on, and on about her new boyfriend (though we barely get to hear about it) and worst of all... Ernest was offered a job. EnjoyThis episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSend in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/support

In this chapter we learn that Avis is being "made love to" by Ernest both 'violently' and 'awkwardly'. And that there is very little holding her back from bragging about it in a crowded room. And we also learn that he is capable of having a one-sided argument against the best that high society has to offer. Enjoy.This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSend in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/support

In this chapter, Avis, after touching base with Ernest, sets out to confront the rich. She's disappointed by how they don't care about the mystery of Jackson's missing arm. She also sees Ernest as the living Christ, and just wants to comfort him- which is weird. Enjoy.This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSend in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/support

In this chapter, Avis is on a fact-finding mission to get the "real story" from a man who lost his arm in a machine accident. She meets the lawyer who represented him, and slowly realizes that he's a secret pirate. Boy is she going to have egg on her face when she has to tell big, beautiful Ernest that he was right all along.Enjoy.This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSend in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/support

In this chapter, Avis' dream comes true when her father invites the gorgeous, and intellectually perfect Ernest Everhard (ugh) to dinner again. He battles with the last, remaining priest that will talk to him, and Avis barely talks. But when she does, an armless man wanders by the dining room window and Ernest dares her to talk to him. Enjoy.This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSend in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/support

My inaugural episode, where I hit with a punch and dive into a reading of "The Iron Heel" by world renown "clam pirate" and "fish master", Jack London. Ahead of his time for writing a dystopian novel from a woman's perspective... Kinda, which tells the tale of a socialist revolutionary who argues a lot at the dinner parties he's invited to- and keeps getting invited back for some reason. I guess they made a play out of this.In this episode we're introduced to our narrator, Avis, who tells us about the night her dad invited the handsome, intellectually perfect, and known turd Ernest Everhard (ugh that name) over for dinner. Where he spends the night arguing at priests.EnjoyThis episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSend in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nuzzlehouse/support