Nuzzle House

Episode Notes We read what is basically grandma porn for the idea of being trapped on an island with other peoples babies. It's disturbing and shines a light on the fantasies of a very lonely author. We learn: Ben doesn't get the joke when Glen plays the Ratchet Book Club promo Glen can't have the "Summer of '89" with his friend while they're both unemployed Trench-mouth is considered a 'bums disease' by dentists in the '90s Gretchen barely pulls her act together because of her drug addiction Go read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/baby-island/9780689717512 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/nuzzle-house

Episode Notes This week I check in with an author I've read before by reading about greedy teens who search for a haunted ouija board, and a greedy family who battle aliens to keep an anal probe. We learn: Drac has fallen off the map, and I'm worried about him I've coined the phrase "Glenergy" to describe what makes my show so successful My kid likes the 'Let Me Tell You Somethin' Bitch' podcast I should have had you dress like George Clooney for the romance portion The 'Ladies Fright' podcast still keeps pissing me off I'm going to become financially destitute because of the trees in my yard Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/31-horrifying-tales-from-the-dead/9781540800541 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/nuzzle-house

Episode Notes What starts out as a boring date for Jada at a minor league baseball game, turns into the most graphic MLM Jada has ever peeped on. Just in time for Pride month! This turned out to be REALLY descriptive. So, consider this your warning for adult content. Go on, read it for yourself: https://www.tiffanyreisz.com/bringing-the-heat Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/nuzzle-house

Episode Notes Our man is tricked into thinking he had a successful escape, then he fights his nemesis, and decides that rain is key to his conquering the desert. Oh, and there's no romance. The warrior-maid is hardly a factor in this story. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/warrior-maid-of-mars/9798731661713 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/nuzzle-house

Episode Notes We wrap up the last half of a really depressing, highly inspiring and emotionally draining book. We learn: Glen might go back to the company that laid him off Ben knows which foot he favors Gretchen teaches us that some birds sleep while they fly Glen seems to enjoy making young people feel uncomfortable Go read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/speak-9780739336724/9780312674397 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/nuzzle-house

Episode Notes I decide to declare war against the Ladies Fright Podcast, because I TALK NORMAL. Then the 'short story' I'm reading is the longest thing on earth. I play the Ladies Fright Podcast promo and go to bed. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/warrior-maid-of-mars/9798731661713 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/nuzzle-house

Episode Notes Ben and I read the first half of 'Speak' and we are dreading the second half. We learn: Glen's broken dryer is almost a non-issue at this point. Ben's wears glasses just to be able to see Glen better. Gretchen gives us fun feather facts that blow our mind. Glen chose NOT to flirt with women at a bar because it's been a long day and he just. wanted. to. eat. his. burger. Go read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/speak-9780739336724/9780312674397 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/nuzzle-house

Episode Notes Well, I'm back on this book again. We learn that David gets a new job. He gets a sweet pad in London. And Mr. Dick was right, there's more to the the creeper hanging around Miss Betsey. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780486436654 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/nuzzle-house

Episode Notes A heart-warming story about how working hard can make all your dreams come true. About the Author Sarina Dorie has sold over 170 short stories to markets like Analog, Daily Science Fiction, Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, Orson Scott Card’s IGMS, Cosmos, and Abyss and Apex. Her stories and published novels have won humor contests and Romance Writer of America awards. She has over fifty novels published, including her bestselling series, Womby’s School for Wayward Witches. A few of her favorite things include: gluten-free brownies (not necessarily glutton-free), Star Trek, steampunk aesthetics, fairies, Severus Snape, Captain Jack Sparrow and Mr. Darcy. By day, Sarina is a public school art teacher, artist, belly dance performer and instructor, copy editor, fashion designer, event organizer and probably a few other things. By night, she writes. As you might imagine, this leaves little time for sleep. You can find info about her short stories and novels on her website: http://www.sarinadorie.com The best way to stay in contact with Sarina Dorie, hear about what she is writing, know when she has a new release, or books offered for free on Amazon is by signing up for her newsletter. Learn more about Sarina Dorie at these sites: Website Amazon Author Page Twitter Support this author by downloading 'Fairies, Robots and Unicorns?--Oh My!: Humorous Fantasy and Science Fiction' for yourself: https://www.amazon.com/Fairies-Robots-Unicorns-Oh-My-Collection-ebook/dp/B01F06DFDW Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/nuzzle-house

Episode Notes What do you do when wanda over at the 'From Words to Ideas" podcast gives you a story that is impossibly sad, and the turds at the 'Ladies Fright' Podcast make fun of the way you talk? You hold back the tears. You never show them your feelings. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/books?affiliate=12554&keywords=the+little+prince Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/nuzzle-house

Episode Notes What do you do when your plane crashes and you're trying to get home and some kid starts talking about a fussy flower on his planet? You listen, damnit. You LISTEN. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/books?affiliate=12554&keywords=the+little+prince Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/nuzzle-house

Episode Notes Who would have thought that the first Y.A. book would involve fights and hair grease? We didn't, but we know all about it now. We learn: Glen gets hit on by a nurse, but is too stupid to realize it. Ben's boss quit her job! But she's still working there part-time... Ugh. Gretchen's bird this week salivates. It salivates and ungulates in the sky. It's gross. Ben really doesn't like the new direction Glen tries to take the show. 'Smooth My Balls' was a bust, but someone gave us a donation! Go read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780142407332 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/nuzzle-house

Episode Notes What would you give up to finally be popular? Would you give up your pony? You’ll learn what sacrifice means in this episode. Go on, read it for yourself: https://www.tor.com/2010/11/17/ponies/ Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/nuzzle-house

Episode Notes David STILL can't get over his man-crush, and Dickens clearly doesn't like small people. All this and a neighbor with a vague sexual issue make for a really long chapter. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780486436654 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/nuzzle-house

Episode Notes The story of a man who dies and realizes he's god.. and you. And me? I don't like him being me. Go on, read it for yourself: http://www.galactanet.com/oneoff/theegg_mod.html Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/nuzzle-house

Like Taylor Swift, Kafka seemed to love writing about his failing relationships. Especially if he thought he was being cheated on. The romance corner book this week is 'Heart on a Leash' by Alanna Martin/ Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9788090217140 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/nuzzle-house

I decided to take a break from 'David Copperfield' this week because I miss feeling inadequate and un-cool around teens. Lucky for me, Shirley Jackson got me covered.The romance corner book this week is 'The Kiss Quotient' by Helen Hoang:https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/566902/the-kiss-quotient-by-helen-hoang/Go on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/the-lottery-and-other-stories-9780374529536/9780374529536Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/nuzzle-house

We review a the second half of a teen book where the protagonist has caught on to all the '90s references, and dominates it.We learn:Glen debates lying about his vaccine reaction.Ben boss quit her job! Now the race is on for Ben to quit before her.Gretchen teaches us about a 'mud chicken'? And a knock-knock joke about butter that kills.Glen has to throw a job interview for a second time.This week's new Young Adult fiction is 'What's Not to Love' by Austin Siegemund-Broka and Emily Wibberleyhttps://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/623664/kisses-and-croissants-by-anne-sophie-jouhanneau/Go read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9781683691976Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

We review a the first half of a teen book where the protagonist starts to catch on that all the '90s references are a little too heavy-handed.We learn:Glen's life is falling apart.Ben still hates his job, and his smoldering hate only intensifies when he has to attend going away happy hours for people who found a way out.Gretchen doesn't get ben to do a loon call, but Glen convinces him.If you listen to the end, you can hear how Ben is a weird 'paper shredder guy' and how Glen can't take a normal drivers license photo.This week's new Young Adult fiction is 'Kisses and Croissants' by ANNE-SOPHIE JOUHANNEAUhttps://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/623664/kisses-and-croissants-by-anne-sophie-jouhanneau/Book Info:MP3 Info:Go read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9781683691976Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

In this chapter, we learn:David is thinks he's nailed acting older than he really is... until he meets Steerforth's butler, Littimer.Steerforth take off to the boat-house and interrupt the news that Ham and Emily are engaged.Steerforth charms everyone - but hints at being a jerk by saying that Emily is good-lookin and she shouldn't marry a 'knuckle head' like Ham.We should never forget that there is a painting of Mrs. Dartle in a guest bedroom out there in the worldThis week's romance novel is 'The Duke Undone' by Joanna Lowell:https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/634625/the-duke-undone-by-joanna-lowell/Go on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780486436654Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

David can't stop being in love with Steerforth. Nothing will stop this obsession. He goes to Steerforth's house and learns that he's a brat that threw a hammer at a woman's face, and his mom put him in a low-class school, just so he could be the king there and feel important. Even calling David "Daisy" as a crappy nick-name wont change his mind.This week's romance novel is 'The Business of Lovers' by Eric Jerome Dickey:https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/606715/the-business-of-lovers-by-eric-jerome-dickey/Go on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780486436654Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

We review a romance novel that had promise just off the title alone. But, sadly, the sex wasn't as 'hot' as 'Double Dirty Mountain Men'.We learn:Glen has nothing to say except that he's still unemployed... by choice.Ben still hates his job, though he's getting pastries delivered to his desk now.Gretchen goes back to what works- birds.This week's new Young Adult fiction is 'Horse Girl' by Carrie Seimhttps://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/612443/horse-girl-by-carrie-seim/Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

David finishes school and is trying to find a career so he's going back to where the actions- Yarmouth. He makes his rounds to say goodbye to everyone and heads to London and runs into friggin' Steerfourth. Damnit. This week's romance novel is 'Lost, Found, and Forever' by Victoria Schade:https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/611513/lost-found-and-forever-by-victoria-schade/Go on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780486436654Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

We suddenly get the narration point of view of David when he's really, really old for some reason. He thinks back fondly of all the women he was hot for. One, a woman in her 30s who eventually marries an old man for his money. He tells all this to Agnes... a romance-option that has been right under his nose all along...The romance corner book this week is 'The Intimacy Experiment' by Rosie Dananhttps://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/623480/the-intimacy-experiment-by-rosie-danan/Go on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780486436654Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

Mr, Dick starts hanging around David's school (which someone should have been concerned about) but he's so lovable that even Dr. Strong hangs out with him.Uriah Heep invited David over to his mom's house, and the drill him for information- there's a LOT of unflattering things written about his hands, how he 'writhes' and his glistening nostrils.Mr. Micawber shows up and sucks the life out of David by complaining about how his debt is ruining his life (he should go back to that sweet, sweet debitors jail- it's way better than going out on his own).The Micawber's have to sneak out of town to avoid paying their hotel bill and David is relieved to see them go.The romance corner book this week is 'The Dating Plan' by Sara Desaihttps://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/622473/the-dating-plan-by-sara-desai/Go on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780486436654Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

We decide to read a choose-your-own-adventure book in real time. Is it a good idea? Does it make for enjoyable listening? The answer is is up to you.We learn:Glen has nothing to say except that he's dieting with the VERY expensive Noom app.Ben also has nothing to sayGretchen changes it up by making her segment about raccoons.Ben decides we need to start acting like we have real commercials for some reasonThis week's new Young Adult fiction is 'Red Tigress' by Amélie Wen Zhaohttps://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/592530/red-tigress-by-amelie-wen-zhao/Go read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9781933390024Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

David goes to his new school and meets the headmaster, Dr. Strong and Annie (a much younger woman) that Dr. Strong is married to (eeew).David and the Wickfields agree that he'll to live with them for the remainder of his school year.David STILL hates Uriah Heep, who tells David he just wants to be a lawyer.The romance corner book this week is 'All Consuming' by Jaci BurtonGo on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780486436654Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

Right when David is making BFF's with Mr. Dick, he's forced to live with ANOTHER family while he goes to school in Canterbury. This family has a kid with red hair which apparently is unacceptable for David. Also: I'm still trying to find information about the 'batman suit' Charles Dickens had in his 'secret room'.The romance corner book this week is 'Wrapt in Crystal' by Sharon ShinnGo on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780486436654Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

We're 14 chapters into this book and FINALLY someone is NICE to David. Mrs. Betsy goes off on the Murdstones and it's about damn time.The romance corner book this week is 'Quiet in Her Bones' by Nalini SinghGo on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780486436654Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

We wrap up a book about trying to get a baby safely through a flood. There's giants and fairy's for no reason.We learn:Glen has nothing to say except that he's suffering from seasonal depression... and unemployment depressionBen also has nothing to sayGretchen cheers Glen up by making Ben do owl soundsBen seems to finally agree that there isn't any 'anal' in this bookGo read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780553510744Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

David heads to Dover! Of course he has to sell most of his clothes and sleep on haystacks, but that's just normal for travel. He finally finds his Aunt, and we end the chapter not knowing if he will stay there permanently because she's obsessed with donkeys for some reason.The romance corner book this week is 'One Snowy Night' by Patience GriffinGo on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780486436654Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

David says goodbye to the Micawber family, now free of debt, who've decided to head to the heartland.He decides to run away from the bottle factory and see if he can stay with his weird aunt (who's still pissed he's not a girl).He tries to get some 'long legged' kid who's pro child-labor to deliver his trunk to the post office but gets robbed instead.The romance corner book this week is 'Only by Your Touch' by Catherine AndersonGo on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780486436654Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

David is forced into child-labor at Mr. Murdstones liquor factory. He's set up to live in a house with a sweet family who have no money and have to sell everything they have because they're in debt. THEN they all get to live together for free in 'debtors jail'. Why bother owning a house you can't afford if you can just go live for free in this 'debtors jail'?The romance corner book this week is 'Kingdom of Shadow and Light' by Karen Marie MoningGo on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780486436654Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

After the funeral the Murdstone's fire Peggoty then let David go to Yarmouth to get creepy on Emily. Mr Barkis also gets creepy on Peggoty by floating around uninvited and not really speaking. But it works and he marries her. David goes back to the Murdstones and they send him off to work at a counting house in London.The romance corner book this week is 'The Velocity of Revolution' by Marshall Ryan MarescaGo on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780486436654Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

We dive back into the exciting world of angels, dust, and multiple dimensions this week. Except that this time it's just about a kid with a boat who works at a bar.We learn:Glen hurt his coccyxBen's bonsai tree isn't doing very wellGretchen has a lot of 'sheeps in love' jokes this weekBen can't complain about his job anymore... legallyGlen can't find any 'anal' in this bookGo read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780553510744Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

David finds out on his birthday that his mom is sick. Like, real, real sick. So sick she's dead. Also? The baby died too.The romance corner book this week is 'Say No More' by Karen RoseGo on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780486436654Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

David is home for the holidays and finds out his mom has a new baby. After hearing that the carriage guy has the hots for Peggotty, she suddenly starts arguing with Clara for no reason. Then it's back to everyone talking about the baby. When Mr. Murdstone hears that the baby has David's eyes, he suddenly starts arguing with Clara for no reason. David is pretty relieved to go back to school after a month of this crap.The romance corner book this week is 'Smoke Bitten' by Patricia BriggsGo on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780486436654Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

School is on! and Mr. Creakle is beating kids like crazy. Traddles keeps getting blamed for kid-crimes that he didn't commit, but he won't rat anyone out. But even with that unsung hero David is STILL obsessed with Steerfourth- a man-child who apparently HATES poor people. In the end they eat crab in their bedroom.Go on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780486436654Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

David finally meets the kids at his school. After some under-age drinking and gossip about the teachers, he watches his roommate sleep.Go on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780486436654Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

Peggoty has become a Copperfield Stan while David travels to his new school. Even though none of the kids are there yet- the school staff make him wear an embarrassing sign around his neck so he can dip his toe in the waters of what life is going to be like.Go on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780486436654Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

You'd think that reading a book to escape the harsh realities of American politics would be a good thing- but nope. Not when it's a book written by Stephenie Meyer.We learn:Glen scruffs the good times at work by reminding people that he's being laid off in a few weeksBen got a bonzai treeGretchen teaches us that turkey vultures sound like my dadBen can't get a dateGo read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780316228527Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

David's return home sucks. His new dad is creepy and is all about "firmness". He has his sister live with them, so now there's two people slumming off his mom's money. After a really sad beating scene, and a creepy scene where he kisses Peggotty through a keyhole, David is sent off to school in London.Go on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780486436654Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

David gets to go see Peggotty's family who live in a boat. The uncle had a drinking problem, but that doesn't stop David from hitting on his daughter. After a lot of empty promises to 'write', David goes back home to find that her mom married that creepy guy. Just to show who's really in charge, they've even changed his room around.Go on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780486436654Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

Mom's new boyfriend decides to spend time with David... by bringing him to work. And it sucks. Mom gets worked into a lather with every compliment and David gets out of town to hang out with a kid named Ham.Go on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780486436654Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

David's mom has to entertain his creepy aunt, his nanny has been hiding her boy in the house, and he was supposed to be a girl. We're off to a strong start in the first chapter.Go on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780486436654Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

This episode, we talk about how depressing our holidays have been while watching movies. And Ben reads from more holiday-themed Twilight fan fiction.We learn:Glen did almost nothing with his kids over ChristmasBen spent his doing video callsGretchen provides some christmas jokesGlen broke up with a religious friendVisit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

Like any Christmas miracle, I wrap up something I slowly learn to hate just in time for the holidays.Go on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780762463138Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

We review an amazing love story between a stegasaurus and a man who can transform into a helicopter.We learn:Glen's new nickname is 'Glen coldwalker'Ben's is just now realizing that things are depressing because of CovidGretchen provides some christmas cheerGlen and Ben realize that New Years is going to be really depressing this yearGo read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9781517103156Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

This book will never end. I thought that it would be a 'fun' and 'quick read'. But nope. Frank Baum has written an epic about Santa Claus that I'm sure entire schools are dedicated to studying the greater meaning of.Go on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780762463138Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

We review the story of a young sleuth who uses a mystery as a way to get a free trip to another country.We learn:Glen's stupidity costs him 3KBen's boss had a moment of clarity on life- but went back to normal.Gretchen changes it up this week with a birthday-themed squirrel segmentGlen thinks that one of the characters in this story is a boy... when that character is actually a girl.Go read it yourself:https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780448095448Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.