Life Coaching with Christine Hassler

If you are interested in becoming a coach or already are a coach and want to be even more impactful, don't miss this episode. You've heard me talk about the coaching certification program I co-founded with Stef, Preston Smiles and Alexi Panos. Today, my dear friend and partner, Alexi, joins me as we take a deep dive into describing the Elementum Coaching Institute. We cover: why and how it's different from other certification programs, how it's structured, what you learn, what you receive, and SO much more. If you've been considering enrolling in Elementum, this episode will answer so many of your questions. A little more about Alexi . . . A leader in the Emergent Wisdom movement, Alexi Panos was named as one of FORBES Top 11 Women Entrepreneurs, INC's magazines TOP 10 ENTREPRENEUR'S CHANGING THE WORLD, one of Origin Magazines TOP 100 CREATIVES CHANGING THE WORLD, and is a featured expert in the films THE ABUNDANCE FACTOR, RISEUP and AGE OF THE ENTREPRENEUR. Alexi is a Master Leadership and Embodiment trainer and co-founder in The Bridge Method workshops and The Elementum Coaching Institute, host of the Top 10 Self Improvement Podcast UNLEASHED, business strategist, filmmaker and humanitarian (through her organizations E.P.I.C. and The Sisters Society); and as a bestseller, Alexi has authored the books 50 WAYS TO YAY! and NOW OR NEVER, both by Simon & Schuster. Alexi is a proud mama to 4 kids and currently lives in Austin, TX. Follow her on Instagram and Youtube @alexipanos. www.alexipanos.com @alexipanos

This episode is about healing sexual blocks in relationships. Today's callers, Adam & Reanna, want to heal past trauma and have a healthy sex life together. I guide them through an exploration process. This session is useful even if there is no trauma in your past; It is an intimate process that brings couples closer together. And, because in many ways sex is something still taboo to talk about, and often shamed, I want to normalize the conversation. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode325] Many times, we think men are the ones who want more sex but it's not gender, sexual identity, or sexual orientation specific. It is life-experience specific. Our experiences impact our sex life. There isn't a childhood trauma that doesn't impact our sex life, even if there is no sexual abuse. Any kind of childhood trauma impacts our emotional, mental, financial, and sex life. We often forget about intimacy and what a turn-on intimacy can be, even when we are dating. Our bodies talk to us. Especially as women, if we do not feel safe in our emotional body, our physical body will give us signs. And, many of the blocks in couples' sex lives arise because they aren't reaching the levels of deeper emotional intimacy. Having healthy sexuality is more than just having a good sex life. It is about feeling comfortable in your body, enjoying the sensual experiences of life, and knowing what your turn-ons are. When it comes to sex many of us consider the performance and pleasing the other person versus what feels good. Healthy sex is about feeling alive and vital and creative. We don't need a partner to have great sexuality and a great sex life. Sexuality and sex is about more than the physical act. It is an energetic experience. Get my free 2-part Sacred Union process at ChristineHassler.com/SacredUnion. If you are in a relationship or you are your own beloved this is a great process to increase intimate connection in your life. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you have sexual trauma or any other type of trauma that shows up in relationships? Is sex hard for you? Do you mentally want to be able to do it but when it comes to the physical act your body just shuts down and you experience trauma triggers? Are you someone who may have an overactive sex drive, sexual compulsion, sexual addiction, or do you look to sex to fill a void? Does your sex life in your relationship feel stagnant or that it needs some improvement or do you feel stuck? Adam & Reanna's Question: Adam & Reanna have sexual issues affecting their relationship. They would like guidance on how to have a healthy emotional and physical relationship together. Reanna's Key Insights and Ahas: Her mother didn't talk with her about sex. She had a teacher be physically inappropriate with her. She was in a long-term relationship with a controlling person. She has trauma, shame, domestic violence, and PTSD in her life. She wants to do the work to have a healthy relationship with Adam. Adam's Key Insights and Ahas: He is frustrated because he wants to help Reanna heal. He wants Reanna to want to have sex with him. He sometimes thinks he is addicted to sex. He does not always feel worthy. He relies on physical intimacy to replace emotional intimacy. How to Get Over It and On With It: Continue counseling and somatic therapy. Slowly and gently explore each other. Take baby steps to intimacy. Practice communicating their needs during the exploration process. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

We cover so much ground in this episode about diet, metabolism, hormones and overall health. Dr. Jade Teta is an integrative physician, author and expert in the realm of natural health, fitness, metabolism and self-development. He spent the last 25 years immersed in the study of strength and conditioning, hormonal metabolism and the psychology of change and success. He has written five books on metabolism, and coauthored the exercise and sports nutrition chapters, of The Textbook Of Natural Medicine. Dr. Teta runs both, Jade Teta,LLC and Next Level Human Inc., that combine his medical and fitness knowledge with his expertise in self-development and mindset change. He writes and lectures extensively on the subjects of lifestyle medicine, natural health, and mindset change to both healthcare professionals and the public. His latest book is a daily meditation on making life changes and based on his 6 Powers. Human 365 is available on Amazon.

This episode is about breaking a pattern. Today's caller, Aimee, wants to end a relationship but keeps going back for more. She has a lot of awareness about why it isn't healthy but she hasn't taken the action to end it for good. We work through how she can find clarity and commit to her truth. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode324] When we don't feel integrated, when all of our parts are not working in harmony, or we have parts of ourselves we have abandoned, we can feel fragmented, off-balance, and lost. If you ever feel lost, ask yourself — what parts of me have I lost versus why am I lost or why do I feel lost? — then, think about what parts of yourself you need to bring back in and integrate. We can get caught in a bind and judgmental of ourselves when our adult brain, our conscious mind is like — this is a terrible situation. Why am I here? We can't seem to get out of it or we get out of the situation and we go back for more. It is because the subconscious is looking for an unmet need. Healing comes when we give ourselves what we need, take action, and keep our promises to ourselves. Remember, feeling relief is an indicator that we are on our way to the truth. Do you want to call in a healthy relationship and break patterns when it comes to dating and men? To start your journey and create an epic relationship, on November 30th, Stefanos and I will facilitate our last Be the Queen program for a while. Go to ChristineHassler.com/BetheQueen to apply. Consider/Ask Yourself: Is there a situation you are in, a behavior you repeat, or a relationship you know needs to end but you just can't seem to get out of it? Do you find yourself calling something love or calling a relationship healthy or calling a situation okay but it isn't? It is just familiar. Are you confusing true love and safety with familiarity and certainty? Are you abandoning your inner child by continuing to put yourself in situations that aren't for your highest good? Aimee's Question: Aimee doesn't know how to end her relationship of 11 years. She keeps going back and putting her needs aside. Aimee's Key Insights and Ahas: Her relationship is not loving, it is familiar. Her relationship doesn't meet her needs. She feels disconnected and lost. As a child, she felt she had to earn her mother's love. She has chronic trauma and doesn't feel safe. She is ready to break her pattern of going back but feels guilty. She knows she will never be loved by her mother the way she wants. She doesn't want to be in this relationship. She cannot tend to her inner child if she goes back to the unhealthy relationship. She finds it hard to get out of her head. She is scared to show her true self. It is time for her to receive. How to Get Over It and On With It: Let her inner child grieve the pain for the love she didn't get from her mother. Connect and commit to her inner child. Leave the relationship and get professional support. Stay committed and strong when she feels guilty. Write a letter or record the promises she is making to herself. Takeaways: If you have a pattern you can't seem to quit, ask yourself if it is what you think it is. If you need help connecting to your inner child, listen to the Inner Child Workshop at ChristineHassler.com/InnerChild. Sponsor: STORYWORTH — is an online service that offers a unique gift. Storyworth helps your family share stories through thought-provoking questions about their memories and personal thoughts. Storyworth has helped numerous families learn about each other in profound and special ways. After a year, Storyworth compiles stories and pictures in a keepsake book that ships for free. Give the important people in your life a meaningful gift Storyworth.com/overit and get $10 off your first purchase. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Nate Klemp joins me to talk about "The 80/80 Marriage," a new model for balancing career, family, and love. The 80/80 Marriage pushes couples beyond the limited idea of "fairness" toward a new model grounded on radical generosity and shared success, one that calls for each partner to contribute 80 percent to build the strongest possible relationship. Drawing from more than one hundred interviews with couples from all walks of life, stories from business and pop culture, scientific studies, and ancient philosophical insights, husband-and-wife team Nate and Kaley Klemp pinpoint exactly what's not working in modern marriage. Their 80/80 model of marriage provides practical, powerful solutions to transform your relationship and open up space for greater love and connection. Learn more here: https://www.8080marriage.com/

This episode is about opening ourselves up to opportunity by courageously embracing change. Today's caller, Marilyn, just turned 50 and feels lost in life and with no clear direction for her future. She has been playing it safe and fears making changes in her life. We discuss how she can listen to her intuition to be open to the opportunities that may come from shaking up her life. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode323] Many of us have put up a wall to protect ourselves and as long as we are more invested in protecting ourselves from getting hurt, we are not going to be open to living into our full potential and achieving our heart's desire. Because that protective wall keeps us from being hurt and blocks out the amazing possibilities that can come from having an open heart. And, often, the older we get, the harder it can be to make changes in our lives. Because we become comfortable and complacent. Some people are happy with complacency. They are content in a rinse-and-repeat life, comfort zones, and doing the same things. It is totally fine that they find meaning in other things. But we grow when we put ourselves through challenges and in new situations. So, no matter what your age, instead of settling and giving up on new experiences, make some changes. Are you a woman looking to call in your beloved? Do you put pressure on yourself to be in a relationship? To start your journey, on November 30th, Stefanos and I will facilitate our last Be the Queen program for a while. Go to ChristineHassler.com/BetheQueen to apply. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you more comfortable playing it safe even if it means you don't love your life? Do you consider yourself risk-averse unless you weigh all the options and it seems like a smart thing to do? Do you feel disconnected from the way you were as a child? Maybe you were brave, creative, or outgoing as a child and as you've gotten older you've wondered where that person went? When you think about making a change do you focus too much on all things that could go wrong versus what could go right? Marilyn's Question: Marilyn feels lost and doesn't have a clear path of what she wants for her future. Marilyn's Key Insights and Ahas: She is single and finds it easy to be alone. She thought she would meet someone more quickly. She feels lost and has a wall up. She is conservative in her actions to protect herself. She has done the inner child workshop. She has been with the same company for 20 years. She is considering relocating and finding a new position. She was a brave child. She is focusing on what could go wrong instead of opportunity. How to Get Over It and On With It: Make a change. Shake her life up a little bit. Tap into her warrior woman. Consider what could be great about making a change. Do the empty chair process with her inner child. Takeaways: Choose change or let life bring change to you. Take some risks. Start paying attention to things that could go right instead of what could go wrong. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

A friend and former yoga buddy of mine, Todd McCullough, joins me to dispel some myths about what it takes to transform your body and live healthy! He's a fitness and mindset expert and takes us through a wonderful meditation at the end of the interview. Todd attended University of Florida, where he was a starting football player. Like many athletes, he suffered numerous injuries. He had a career in finance at Merrill Lynch, and was laid off during the financial crisis of 2008. Todd knew it was time for a new direction. His football injuries led him to a yoga studio, where he discovered a way to move with his physical restrictions. This led Todd to merge his new passion for yoga with athletic training — and TMAC FITNESS was born. It began as a personal training business, where Todd trained thousands of clients, including Olympic athletes and celebrity artists. Eventually, it was time to scale. Now, TMAC FITNESS is an online membership-based company that provides short, fast, and effective workouts — with a strong emphasis on mindfulness. Todd's signature online program, TMAC 20, has helped more than 20,000 people get in shape and get their mind right from home. Learn more here: https://www.tmacfitness.com/

This episode is about realizing control is just a protective behavior. Today's caller, Beck, wants to feel safe and worthy of love without feeling the need to calculate and devise a plan to control the outcome of a situation. We work through ways she can express her emotions and voice her truth to meet her needs. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode322] We all have, at some level, an addiction to control. We have different relationships with it and it is hard for us to completely be in uncertainty, non-attachment, and surrender. The more personal development work we do, the more we are able to step into those things but it is naturally human to have those kinds of controlling pieces come up. Often, what we consider as controlling is a part of us that doesn't feel safe. And, that part is trying to protect us. I also believe semantics and words are very important. No one wants to be called controlling. It is hard to get leverage and to do the work we need to do on ourselves when we use a word that has a lot of judgment on top of it. Instead of thinking of your behaviors as controlling, think of them as protective behaviors. It feels better and makes it easier to understand, accept, and shift them. Are you a woman looking to call in a man? Do you put pressure on yourself to be in a relationship? To start your journey, join our free live call on November 11th, and then on November 30th Stefanos and I will facilitate our last Be the Queen program for a while. Go to ChristineHassler.com/BetheQueen to apply. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you find yourself fighting for control or manipulating situations to make yourself feel safe? Are you someone who holds your thoughts and emotions in for a long time? How are you asking for what you need? Think about your childhood and the times you got in trouble, or the times you were told you were naughty, or when you did something wrong, did you collapse the "I did something wrong" to mean "I am wrong"? Do you have an old childhood belief that because you did something bad or wrong it means you were wrong or unlovable? Beck's Question: Beck wants to explore her relationship with control and guidance on how to work through it to support herself in her relationship. Beck's Key Insights and Ahas: She's been doing inner work. She fears being perceived as a controlling person. She manipulates situations to get what she wants. She experiences expectation hangovers. She controls things to protect herself. Her parents loved her, but it felt conditional when she did something wrong. She is afraid of losing love. She is sensitive and has big feelings. As a child, she couldn't separate her actions being wrong from her being wrong. She creates distance in her partnership when she doesn't show her true emotion. She doesn't always know what she needs. Her partner struggles to handle her emotions. She tests people to see if they love her. She outsources getting her needs met. How to Get Over It and On With It: Communicate her truth when she feels it. Ask for what she needs, consistently. Know she can make mistakes and still be worthy of love. Sprinkle the release of her emotions out when they arise, not to let the floodgates open after keeping them inside. Takeaways: Realize that you can make mistakes and still be worthy of love. Look at where you are not speaking your truth. Emotions are better let out than kept in. Sponsor: THIRDLOVE — Delivers life-changing comfort for your body with high-quality underwear, sleep, and loungewear. Thirdlove obsesses over every stitch. Visit the Fitting Room and take the quiz at Thirdlove.com/overit to find your perfect bra size and style. They have over 80 bra sizes, including half-cup sizes, and great-fitting, comfy loungewear! Use the link to get 20% off the first purchase of your new favorite Seamless wireless bra or loungewear. They have a 100% fit guarantee. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This is such a rich conversation about relationships, sex and sexuality, monogamy and love. Alexandra H. Solomon, PhD, is a clinical assistant professor in theDepartment of Psychology at Northwestern University, a licensed clinical psychologist at The Family Institute at Northwestern University, and the author of Taking Sexy Back: How to Own YourSexuality and Create the Relationships You Want (February 2, 2020; NewHarbinger) and Loving Bravely: 20 Lessons of Self-Discovery to Help You Get the LoveYou Want (2017; New Harbinger), which was featured on the TODAY show. She is an international speaker and teacher whose work has been featured on six continents. She is also a strong,positive resource on Instagram, where she has earned more than 160K followers to date. Her website: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/

This episode is about mothering the inner child and connecting to the little one inside. Today's caller, Nyikia, is working to give herself the love and compassion she didn't get as a child but is having difficulty connecting with her inner child. We work through that connection and a daily practice she can use to nurture herself and her little one. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode321] We are often good at giving others what we need to give ourselves the most. This is where we can fall into traps in relationships. Whether it's romantic relationships, work relationships, or friendships, we can be loving, compassionate, loyal, and show up for others but the person we need to do that for is our inner child and ourselves. We can't go back in a time machine and change our parents or live a different childhood. But, remember, the mind doesn't know the difference between a well-imagined thought and current reality. So, we can give ourselves the childhood we never had by being a mother or father to our inner child. Join Us for a Special Master Class, "Calling Him In Masterclass". Learn How to Attract a Man Who Is Your True Match So You Can Experience the Epic Soul Mate Love You Desire Nov. 4th at 5:00 PM PST. Sign up here: https://christinehassler.com/lovemasterclass. Consider/Ask Yourself: Did you have a mother or father who didn't fall into the traditional role? Maybe, your mom wasn't nurturing or your father was absent or not protective and you have a hard time connecting with that inner parent? Are you good at loving others and taking care of others but not so great at taking care of yourself? Have you done a lot of self-work in the last several years or months, but feel in some areas, especially with the inner child, you don't know what to do or you are not making progress? Nyikia's Question: Nyikia is looking to heal and move past childhood issues but is finding it difficult to connect to her inner child. Nyikia's Key Insights and Ahas: She grew up with only her mother as a caregiver. Her mother was emotionally and verbally abusive. Her father was absent, for the most part. She has an adopted brother. She is doing personal development work to connect with her inner child. She has avoidant strategies and distracts herself. She wants to acknowledge her inner child. She longed for feeling safe when she was a child. Her IQ has been rewarded more than her EQ. She often shuts down her emotional releases. It is easy for her to find compassion for others but not for herself. Her inner child doesn't feel worthy of nurturing. How to Get Over It and On With It: Check-in with a picture of her as a child once a day. Tell her inner child how worthy she is of nurturing and love. Takeaways: Check-in daily with your inner child and have a conversation. Re-visit the recording of the Inner Child Workshop at ChristineHassler.com/innerchild. Consider what you didn't get as a child and how you can give it to yourself. Sponsor: STORYWORTH — is an online service that helps your family share stories through thought-provoking questions about their memories and personal thoughts. Storyworth has helped numerous families learn about each other in profound and special ways. After a year, Storyworth compiles stories and pictures in a keepsake book that ships for free. Give the important people in your life a meaningful gift Storyworth.com/overit and get $10 off your first purchase. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

I am so thrilled to have one of my best - and also most powerful - friends back on the show. Kate Reardon gives those in need of healing guidance the inspiration and tools for growth so they can achieve the unthinkable and conquer the impossible. Kate is a qualified practitioner of Naturopathy and Nutritional Medicine, an Intuitive Metaphysical Healer, best-selling author, keynote speaker, facilitator, yoga teacher, devoted mother and host of the ever-popular, Lean In podcast. Kate is the co-founder and managing director of Natural Instinct Healing, the internationally acclaimed and award-winning private Detox, Health and Wellness retreat centre in Bali - which now offers virtual cleansing retreats! Kate also mentors clients from all walks of life across the globe, including high profile celebrities, public figures, doctors, psychologists, business leaders and even royalty, treating and guiding each individual on a mind, body and soul level. Her best-selling book, "The Essential Cleanse" is the ultimate guide to unlocking the potential to drastically heal from the inside out. When she's not in the consulting room or preparing for a workshop, Kate can be found either being Mama bear to three beautiful girls, immersed in nature, soaking up a book or dancing her heart out! Register for her 7 day immersion here: https://go.naturalinstincthealing.com/free-vital-wellbeing-immersion Learn more about Kate here: http://katereardon.com.au/

This episode is about obsessive thinking and anxiety. Today's caller, Megan, wants to know why she obsesses over things such as decisions, relationships, and her body image. She would like guidance on how to shift her patterns but feels she may always have anxiety. We dial back the clock to discover why she adopted it as a coping strategy and work through how she can empower herself so her anxiety can be an alarm instead of a constraint. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode320] One of the best things the mind does to deal with anxiety in the body is to obsess because it is a distraction and keeps us from feeling the physiological discomfort in the body. Anxiety is energy that is fast buzzing energy. This frenetic energy is in our minds and our nervous systems. It can be really overwhelming so we develop ways to do something with it or to turn it into something. When we obsess over things and think about things over and over and over again, it's the way the mind is trying to deal with all that frenetic energy. Obsessive thinking is a coping strategy. If we look at those patterns as alarm systems, have compassion for ourselves, and understand there is nothing wrong with us, it is easier to shift patterns like anxiety and obsessive thinking that are not serving us. The hardest things to change about ourselves are the things that are protecting us. The patterns cling to us because they believe they are helping us like they had in our childhood. If you are a woman looking for a man and put pressure on yourself to be in a relationship, the holidays can be challenging. In late November, join Stefanos and me for our Be the Queen program. This upcoming event is the last live event until at least next year. Go to ChristineHassler.com/BetheQueen for more information. Sign up early and get access to the Bonus Call on 11/11/21. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are there things in your life you obsess about or just can't stop thinking about? Do you obsess about your body, what people are thinking about you, or your dating experiences? Did you grow up with an anxious parent? Do you doubt your self-worth? Do you fear you will never be able to change the patterns you don't like or judge yourself over? Megan's Question: Megan has a pattern of obsessing over things in her life and would like guidance on how to shift her obsessive thinking and to become more empowered. Megan's Key Insights and Ahas: She obsesses over body image issues, men, and romantic relationships. She feels her anxiety is robbing her sense of inner peace. She has done personal development work. She believes she has always had anxiety. Her mother was hard to predict and inconsistent. She gets frustrated trying to shift her patterns. She fears she will always have anxiety. She doesn't speak up for herself or set self-honoring boundaries. How to Get Over It and On With It: Be compassionate and make friends with her obsessions. Make a list of the things she is certain of and has control over in her life. Surrender and accept that her anxiety is trying to protect her from getting hurt. Focus on meeting her needs and speaking her truth by empowering herself. Listen to the Coaches Corner How to Navigate, Resolve, and Prevent Conflict with Jayson Gaddis. Takeaways: When you feel anxiety, consider the highest purpose of your obsessiveness. How is it serving you? Do not put a label on yourself. Empower yourself to react to things differently. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

My guest today talks to us about what attention really is, how to focus it (and stop a wandering mind), and leverage our minds to not only bring us success, but peace. Dr. Amishi Jha is a professor of psychology at the University of Miami. She serves as the Director of Contemplative Neuroscience for the Mindfulness Research and Practice Initiative, which she co-founded in 2010. She received her Ph.D. from the University of California–Davis and postdoctoral training at the Brain Imaging and Analysis Center at Duke University. Dr. Jha's work has been featured at NATO, the World Economic Forum, and The Pentagon. She has received coverage in The New York Times, NPR, TIME, Forbes and more. She is the author of the new book Peak Mind which we talk about in this episode.

This episode is about overcoming not-enoughness and meeting our own needs to be secure in relationships. Today's caller, Boston, has a protective pattern from his childhood that shows up as jealousy. It is blocking him from feeling secure in his relationship. He is working to shift his jealous feelings and is asking for guidance to understand the origin of his feelings and heal his anxious attachment style. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode319] We are human. We are going to have patterns and we are going to have programming. There will be feelings that come up. There may be anxiety, OCD, insecurities, jealousy, co-dependence, people-pleasing, etc. It is not who you are. I say it again, it is not who you are. Just because you have jealousy doesn't mean you are a jealous person. Just because a pattern comes up for you, jealousy, or anything else you want to shift, it doesn't mean you are that pattern. It is so important that whenever we are working to shift something, we accept it. The more we judge and shame ourselves, the more it sticks and the harder it is to change. So, if you are trying hard to change things about yourself, do not make yourself miserable. Being aware and accepting your patterns is the path forward. Often, we make things more complicated than they need to be. Our primary desire is to feel safe, seen, heard, and loved. The more we get it from within ourselves the more we get it from others. The more we can acknowledge the tender parts inside of us the less we need external validation. If you are a woman looking for a man and put pressure on yourself to be in a relationship, the holidays can be challenging. So, starting late November or early December, join Stefanos and me for our Be the Queen program. This upcoming event is the last event until next year. Go to ChristineHassler.com/BetheQueen for more information. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you struggle with jealousy in your relationship even if there is no reason for it? Do you judge yourself for getting jealous? Did you grow up feeling like you fit into society, your family, or your peer group? Did you look or feel different, like you were not good enough? How are you at meeting your own needs? Boston's Question: Boston has a pattern of exhibiting jealousy in his relationships. He would like guidance on how to heal his triggers. Boston's Key Insights and Ahas: He recently started his personal development journey. He puts his jealous behavior on to his partner. He judges himself for his jealous tendencies. He is mentally working through his patterns to interrupt them. He has an anxious attachment style. He is looking for reassurance in his relationship. He grew up in an area where people were discriminatory. He had very little emotional connection with his parents. His parents argued a lot in his childhood. He didn't feel good enough as a child. He was jealous of other families and the love he thought they shared. He moved to a new country at a very young age. He developed tough skin to protect himself. His partner is patient and understanding. He has old hurts and insecurity. His fear of losing his family is preventing him from enjoying it. How to Get Over It and On With It: Understand his jealousy is trying to protect him. Be compassionate with himself when he is triggered. Remind himself he is enough. Talk to his younger self about what he needs and reassure himself. Ask his partner to work with him on his inner child work. Embrace and enjoy the life he has created. Takeaways: For a refresher on healing your inner child, listen to the Inner Child Workshop. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

If you avoid or dread conflict or find you have too much of it in your life, you will find this episode so helpful! Jayson Gaddis is here to talk about his new book Getting To Zero: How to Work through Conflicts in your High-Stake Relationships and teach us SO much about how to have healthier relationships. He is a relationship expert and sought-after coach, as well as the Founder of The Relationship School and host of the successful Relationship School podcast. Jayson leads the most comprehensive relationship training in the world of intimate relationships and partnership, as well as trains and certifies relationship coaches. He has a master's in psychology and lives with his wife and two children in Boulder, Colorado. Get the book and free goodies here: https://www.gettingtozerobook.com/

This episode is about taking the pressure off of self-imposed timelines. Today's caller, Elizabeth, has a sense of urgency. She feels she needs to get into a relationship and have children. But, at the same time, she is experiencing rejection, ghosting, and men leaving. She thinks she is doing something wrong. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode318] For whatever reason, we put ridiculous timelines on ourselves. Who knows where they come from society, parents, or our inner critic. We also put unnecessary pressure on ourselves to be or to achieve certain things. And, all the while we're not really paying attention to what we truly need to be learning. We miss out on the magic that can come from being present and in the moment. And, enmeshment or co-dependence means that we are a little bit too reliant or dependent on another person to make us feel a certain way. We all want a mother to be the constant source of love and nurturing but we also want a mother to let us go on our way or let us suffer and find our own way. If we have someone who always rescues us, how do we ever learn to rescue ourselves? If you are a woman looking for a man and put pressure on yourself to be in a relationship, the holidays can be challenging. So, starting late November or early December, join Stefanos and me for our Be the Queen program. This upcoming event is the last event until next year. Go to ChristineHassler.com/BetheQueen for more information. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you unconsciously put pressure on yourself or others and it is sabotaging you from getting the things you truly want? Did you have too close of a relationship with your mother or a parent? Do you feel a timeline or sense of urgency to get married, have babies, or accomplish something at a certain time? Would you say that you were an exceptional partner to yourself? Elizabeth's Question: Elizabeth feels she is the reason her relationships don't work out. Elizabeth's Key Insights and Ahas: She feels she can't get relationships right. She feels she has been called to have children. She was very close to her mother, maybe too close. She is trying to source her love through other people to fill the void. She clings on to men. She misses being in a close relationship. She didn't develop her own sense of self. She is scared to voice her feelings in relationships. How to Get Over It and On With It: Prioritize loving herself and individuating. Find her wise inner mother and untangle her enmeshment with her mother. Look back at past relationships and consider how she could do things differently. Write a reassuring letter to her future self that everything is going to be alright and then have her future self write back. Realize it wasn't her fault that guys take off but she can take responsibility for her part in the relationship. Takeaways: Listen to the Coaches Corner interview with Bethany Webster, The Mother Wound. If you feel pressured to get somewhere, write a letter to your future self and then have your future self write back to you about how everything works out. If you are in a pattern, ask yourself what wound is it bringing attention to that could be healed. Join the Be the Queen program. Sponsor: THIRDLOVE — Delivers life-changing comfort for your body with high-quality underwear, sleep, and loungewear. They do comfort, so you can do you. Visit the Fitting Room and take the quiz at Thirdlove.com/overit to find your perfect bra size and style. They have over 80 bra sizes, including half-cup sizes, and great-fitting, comfy loungewear! Use the link to get 20% off the first purchase of your new favorite Seamless wireless bra or loungewear. They have a 100% fit guarantee. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Sex and sexuality. These are part of the human experience. Yet for so many, sex and sexualty brings up shame, insecurity and even painful memories. It is possible to enjoy your sexual expression no matter what you have been through while empowering yourself by learning about your preferences and consent. There is no one better to discuss these topics with me than. Dr. Betty Martin. She has had her hands on people professionally for over 40 years, first as a Chiropractor and upon retiring from that practice, as a certified Surrogate Partner, Sacred Intimate, and Somatic Sex Educator. Her explorations in somatic-based therapy and practices informed her creation of the framework, The Wheel of Consent®. As part of her work with the School of Consent, Betty travels around the world teaching practitioners how to create empowered agreements in their client sessions, in her highly sought-after training "Like A Pro: The Wheel of Consent for Practitioners." Wheel of consent videos: short: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7x2jAm3HxHM long; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auokDp_EA80

This episode is about doing inner child work to heal the mother wound. Today's caller, Abigail, feels she is struggling to connect with her feminine energy but we discover that she is being triggered by her circumstances and it is revealing a coping strategy she relied on in her childhood. We discuss ways she can make the most of this healing opportunity. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode317] You can't really tap into true masculine and feminine until you do inner child work. Because we can confuse being in our feminine or masculine energy with protective behaviors and coping strategies. It is important for us to find our divine mother and father energy but healing our childhood wounds is the starting point. When past trauma in her child wounding is triggered, it is an invitation for us to deal with it by speaking to our little one and giving them a voice. It makes it much easier to trust because our inner child isn't tugging at us telling us they are not okay. What keeps some people from doing inner child work is that they think they have to relive their trauma or relive memories of their childhoods. It is possible to heal your childhood and connect with your inner child even if you have no memories or traumatic memories. When we are given pauses in life, or when we feel we are in limbo, they are opportunities for us to focus on our inner work. Join us for our LIVE Inner Child Workshop on October 8–10th. It will be the last live inner child workshop taught by Christine and Stefanos for a while. Get live coaching or attend the workshop online ChristineHassler.com/InnerChild. If you can't make it live you can get the recording. If you need help financially go to ChristineHassler.com/Scholarship. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you struggling with identifying what is masculine and feminine energy? Or, you are not sure how to be in your masculine or feminine? Have you worked on the mother wound and know intuitively there is still more to do? Do you identify with being a caretaker? Someone who takes care of other people's needs as a way to try and get your own needs met? As a child, were you more in the parent role than you were in the child role? Did a parent count on you for emotional support? Did they confide in you? Were you more of a friend to them and not allowed to truly be a kid? Abigail's Question: Abigail struggles with staying in her feminine energy. Abigail's Key Insights and Ahas: She has had a lot of uncertainty in her life. She has difficulty adjusting and trusting changes. She holds fear about changes in her life. She frequently changes her residence. She left her nursing career to be a doula. Her parents dealt with uncertainty differently. She didn't have a good role model for embracing uncertainty. She didn't feel safe as a child. Caretaking became a coping strategy for her. She beats herself up emotionally. She felt responsible for everyone else's happiness. She wants to be free to express her needs. Her mom treated her like a friend and not a child. She feels worthless if she isn't caring for others. Her partner feels safe to her. How to Get Over It and On With It: Check-in with little Abigail to see how she is. Accept and have compassion for herself. Give her rage a voice and write an F-U letter to her mother. This is a healing opportunity for her. She is exactly where she needs to be. Join the Inner Child Workshop. Check out the Mother Wound Coaches Corner and the work of Bethany Webster. Takeaways: Use the pauses in your life to give your inner child a voice and to heal unhealed wounding. Sponsor: SOUL CBD — is a daily supplement to calm the nervous system and re-calibrate homeostasis. Soul CBD gummies, liquids, oils, topicals, and bath bombs are all 3rd-party-tested for toxins. Bring balance into your life and get 15% off AND free shipping in the U.S. at MySoulCBD.com/OVERIT. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Don't miss this episode with Bethany Webster where we discuss a wound we ALL have: the mother wound. Bethany Webster is a writer, international speaker and transformational coach. She started blogging in 2013 about the Mother Wound and quickly experienced worldwide demand for her work. Through blending research on intergenerational trauma, feminist theory, and psychology with her own personal story, Bethany's work is the result of decades of research and her own journey of healing. Bethany speaks, consults and mentors around the world sharing her growing body of work that is raising the standard of women's leadership and personal development. Learn more at www.bethanywebster.com Bethany's book: https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780062884442 Bethany's online course: https://www.bethanywebster.com/inner-mother-course/ Bethany's Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/innermother

This episode is about finding your passion by releasing repressed anger. Today's caller, Illarion, feels lost. He is in his twenties and is struggling to find his purpose. Emotions from his childhood are bubbling to the surface of his unconscious. If you relate to this call and feel blocked, anxious, or lost, this episode will help you tap into your fire and find your voice. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode316] So many of us that may be dealing with anxiety, depression, or feeling lost have a bit of indifference, hopelessness, and apathy we can slip into. That is a dangerous place because there is numbness. Whereas anger, if understood and expressed in a healthy way, is a very useful emotion. Anger is often the gateway to reaching our deeper hurts and it's the thing that unleashes our passion. Repressed anger takes up a lot of energy. It is a fiery emotion that just sits inside of us. Passion is fire too. If we have a lot of anger that we haven't processed, it can be a block to our creativity and passion. A lot of creative and artistic people have trouble accessing their anger. It ends up manifesting as anxiety. When we have the creative archetype, there is also gentleness. We want to be the peacekeeper and avoid conflict. We don't feel the warrior spirit because we are more on the creative side. However, when we don't access our anger and our rage, it can hold our passion back. It is often anger and resentment that keep us from getting to the true energy of forgiveness. Join us for our LIVE Inner Child Workshop on October 8–10th. It will be the last live inner child workshop taught by Christine and Stefanos for a while. Get live coaching or attend the workshop online ChristineHassler.com/InnerChild. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you feel stuck or lost in your life? Did you have parents that supported who you are but not 100% of the time? Have you analyzed and talked about your issues and have been in therapy but things are not changing? Is anger something that turns you off? Illarion's Question: Illarion feels lost and is struggling to find his purpose. He goes through bouts of loneliness, anxiety, and low self-worth. Illarion's Key Insights and Ahas: He moved to New York City. He is going through imposter syndrome. He doubts every choice he makes. His feelings go up and down. He may have unresolved issues from childhood. He has been in therapy for three years. He looks at what he should be instead of what he is meant to be. He didn't feel he was able to be himself as a child. What he is going through is normal for his age. He is not sure he is lovable and enough for his parents. He doesn't speak with his father. He hasn't dealt with the anger he feels at his parents. He seeks approval from other people. He wanted someone to stick up for him as a child. How to Get Over It and On With It: Tap into his anger and be pissed. Do the temper-tantrum technique at ChristineHassler.com/angerrelease Write an F-U letter to his mom and dad without sending it to them. Go to a quiet place and expel rage while he punches a pillow. Find his fiery passion. Sponsor: SOUL CBD — is a daily supplement to calm the nervous system and re-calibrate homeostasis. Soul CBD gummies, liquids, oils, topicals, and bath bombs are all 3rd-party-tested for toxins. Bring balance into your life and get 15% off AND free shipping in the U.S. at MySoulCBD.com/OVERIT Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This is an episode NOT to miss. My husband and I get so raw and vulnerable as we talk through something that upset Stef and triggered his inner child. If you want an intimate look at how we work though triggers and comfort our own (and each other's) inner child, be sure to listen. You will learn so much about your relationship with your own inner child as well. We all have a tender, sensitive little one inside who needs us to parent them with love, safety, acceptance and consistency. If you want to learn more about the virtual retreat we are teaching on healing your inner child, please go here: https://christinehassler.com/innerchild/

This episode is about taking a stand for what we value. Today's caller, Sebastian, is not getting his needs met in his relationship. He is attempting to talk through his issues, but the results are not changing. We discuss ways to get clarification from his partner about what she needs and how he can have his needs met by taking a stand for his values. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode315] If communication solved every issue in a relationship, we could all just read communication books and have the most amazing relationships, friendships, and parental relationships. Everything would be easy. But, it is not. We need to do the inner work. We play out our childhood stuff in our adult life, especially in relationships. When a child has emotionally unavailable parents, they learn to tolerate a lot more hurt. When they grow into adults, they may have a pattern of thinking things are better than they truly are in their intimate relationships. In relationships, friendships, or any kind of intimate relationship, we often love and give in the way we want to be given to and loved, not necessarily the way that person needs or wants it. We have to be bold when it comes to things like love, our families, our health, our well-being, and what is important to us. We must take a stand for our values. Join us for our LIVE Inner Child Workshop on October 8–10th. It will be the last live inner child workshop taught by Christine and Stefanos for a while. Get live coaching or attend the workshop online ChristineHassler.com/InnerChild. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you find yourself not being a firm stand for what you want in your life? Do you ever tiptoe around people afraid of upsetting them? Do you often feel disrespected in conversations or just not heard? Do you have some codependent patterns and let people walk all over you? Do you often find yourself with emotionally unavailable or avoidant-type people? Sebastian's Question: Sebastian feels he doesn't get his needs met in his relationship and would like guidance on how to have a healthier relationship. Sebastian's Key Insights and Ahas: His relationship has ups and downs. Hurtful things are said between him and his partner. He and his partner have done couple counseling. He has a 10-year-old son with his partner. He feels disrespected by his partner. He loves his family. His partner finds it is overwhelming to deal with his emotions. He is trying to uncover and overcome the relationship issues. He is codependent. How to Get Over It and On With It: Get curious about what his partner needs. Have a conversation about what each other needs emotionally. Stand in his strong, healthy masculine and ask his partner if she wants the relationship to work. Step into his power and take a stand for himself and the relationship. Takeaways: Take a stand for your values. Be very clear about what you want and where you are going. Sponsor: SOUL CBD — is a daily supplement to calm the nervous system and re-calibrate homeostasis. Soul CBD gummies, liquids, oils, topicals, and bath bombs are all 3rd-party-tested for toxins. Bring balance into your life and get 15% off AND free shipping in the U.S. at MySoulCBD.com/OVERIT Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

If you ever struggle with anxiety, worry or even depression, do NOT miss this episode. One of the leading voices in personal development and transformation and an international bestselling author Mel Robbins joins Christine and gives a TON of soothing and practical advice for creating more calm in your life. Mel's work includes the global phenomenon The 5 Second Rule, the upcoming The High 5 Habit, four #1 bestselling audiobooks, the #1 podcast on Audible, as well as signature online courses that have changed the lives of more than half a million students worldwide. Her groundbreaking work on behavior change has been translated into 36 languages and is used by healthcare professionals, veterans' organizations, and the world's leading brands to inspire people to be more confident, effective, and fulfilled. As one of the most widely booked and followed public speakers in the world, Mel coaches more than 60 million people online every month and videos featuring her work have more than a billion views online, including her TEDx talk, which is one of the most popular of all time. There's nothing Mel loves more than making a real difference in people's lives by teaching them to believe in themselves and inspiring them to take the actions that will change their lives. Mel lives in New England with her husband of 25 years and their three kids, but she is and will always be a Midwesterner at heart.

This episode will support you in getting through and to the other side of any kind of loss. Today's caller, Regina, is a widow who is grieving over the loss of her husband. She says she regrets not being the best mother in the world and not living the life she wanted to live. She is questioning her purpose and experiencing quite a bit of apathy in her life. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode314] Loss is an incredibly painful but inevitable part of our life. When it happens it is important we give ourselves time to grieve and not try to be strong and move on right away. But there comes a point in our life when life has to go on. Whether it is the death of a loved one, a pet, a relationship, or a job, we can't allow loss to suck the life out of us. Otherwise, we end up existing, not truly living. We honor those who transition by continuing to live. People who deal with expectation hangovers often feel guilty to admit it but they tend to be apathetic to life. The reason for the apathy is the opposite of love is not hate. It is indifference or apathy. When we go through something challenging, especially if we are lonely through it, we allow our self-love tank to get so low that we slip into indifference. Without love there is apathy. Getting out of it requires choosing to live, not just to go through the motions; we need something we want to live for. Give yourself permission to live for and find something that reconnects you back to love. Consider/Ask Yourself: Have you recently been through a loss and can't seem to move on? Have you been through a loss and are aware you need time to grieve? Do you tend to look back on your life and wish you could have done things differently? Are you at a point in your life where you are just existing and need to start living again? Regina's Question: Regina would like to move past her sadness and regret of not living the life she wanted. Regina's Key Insights and Ahas: She is approaching retirement. She is not in the place she thought she would be in her life. She lives alone. There is a part of her that doesn't want to be anymore. She has regrets about how she raised her children. She doesn't believe we get more than one love in our lives. Her husband was her best friend. She beats herself up a lot. She knows if she can create a negative story for herself, she is capable of creating a positive story, too. How to Get Over It and On With It: Choose to create a future that is enlivening. Give herself permission to live and allow love in. Have a loving relationship with herself. Speak to herself as a loving mother would to a child. Forgive herself for being mean to herself. Write out some promises to herself. Takeaways: Practice self-love. Consider that loved ones who have transitioned are angels and guides in your life. Accept that you did the best you could with the tools you had at the time. Content that focuses on overcoming regret. Sponsor: THIRDLOVE — Delivers life-changing comfort for your body with high-quality underwear, sleep, and loungewear. Check out their new seamless Form line. Visit the Fitting Room and take the quiz at Thirdlove.com/overit to find your perfect bra size and style. They have over 80 bra sizes, including half-cup sizes, and great-fitting, comfy loungewear! Use the link to get 20% off the first purchase of your new favorite Seamless wireless bra or loungewear. They have a 100% fit guarantee. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Gay Hendricks has been a leader in the fields of relationship transformation and body mind transformation for more than 45 years. After earning his Ph.D. fromStanford in 1974, Gay served as Professor of Counseling Psychology at the University of Colorado for 21 years. He has written more than 40 books, including bestsellers such as Five Wishes, The Big Leap, Conscious Loving and Conscious Loving Ever After, (the last two co-authored with his co-author and mate for more than 35 years, Dr. Kathlyn Hendricks). He is also a mystery novelist, with a series of five books featuring the Tibetan-Buddhist private detective, Tenzing Norbu, as well as a new mystery series featuring a Victorian-era London detective, Sir ErrolHyde. His latest book, Conscious Luck, reveals eight ways to change your fortune through the power of intention. Gay has appeared on more than 500 radio andtelevision shows, including Oprah, CNN, CNBC, 48 HOURS and others. His new book, The Genius Zone, was published in June, 2021.

This episode is about learning the tools to deal with triggers and the avoidant attachment style. This week's caller, Mike, would like guidance on how to be more open-hearted and vulnerable in his intimate relationships. This session will be of service to those who have an avoidant style and for those who attract Avoidants. We discuss how to understand them and how not to take their actions personally. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode313] Anything is healable. It doesn't matter what is in your background, childhood, or past. I've seen it over and over again. Does it happen overnight? No. Is it always easy? No. Is it going to change overnight? Healable doesn't mean we go from having an avoidant attachment style to being totally open-hearted, totally secure, and never having triggers. Healing is not being perfect, not being free of any triggers but really learning how to work with those triggers, manage those triggers, so that they don't become roadblocks in our life. Triggers can be alarm systems for growth and not a dead end. Awareness is not enough to heal. People with an avoidant attachment style are not trying to avoid being close or being in love. They are trying to avoid rejection, hurt, and pain. When we are with an Avoidant, and they pull away or put walls up, it can make us feel as if we have done something wrong. But, we cannot take it personally. If you are with an Avoidant, the best thing you can do when they are triggered is don't attack them, don't tell them they are doing anything wrong, then reassure them that you are there and you love them. On September 14th, Christine and Stefanos will teach a virtual group call at 5 pm PST. Join us for our LIVE Inner Child Workshop on October 8‒10th. It will be the last live inner child workshop taught by Christine and Stefanos for a while. Get live coaching or attend the workshop online ChristineHassler.com/InnerChild. Mike's Question: Mike would like guidance on how to be more open-minded and open-hearted when approaching his relationships. Mike's Key Insights and Ahas: His marriage of 12 years recently ended. He emotionally shut down in his relationships. He has an insecure attachment style. Fear of rejection keeps him from being vulnerable. He was not loved for being himself as a child. He is self-aware. He feels as if his personal development work has stalled. He does not want to repeat the mistakes of his past. He is ready to date again. He has high standards. He puts walls up to protect himself. He struggles to be vulnerable. He feels he can apply the practical guidance. How to Get Over It and On With It: Acknowledge himself for the personal development work he is doing. Start dating again. Lean into vulnerability. Accept himself for who he is. Have compassion for himself and his fear. It is okay to be scared. Takeaways: On the field is the best way to get good at a game. We cannot run from hurt. We have to expose ourselves to triggers so we can integrate and deal with hurt and fear. Sponsor: SOUL CBD — is a daily supplement to calm the nervous system and re-calibrate homeostasis. Soul CBD gummies, liquids, oils, topicals, and bath bombs are all 3rd-party-tested for toxins. Bring balance into your life and get 15% off AND free shipping in the U.S. at MySoulCBD.com/OVERIT Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

The feeling of being in love is the best. Not to mention the blissful feeling of certainty when we feel like you've met "the one" (finally!). You start fantasizing about the future and are convinced that the other person is on the same page you are. And then it ends. And you are not only heartbroken, but shocked because it seemed so right and you don't understand what went wrong. I know that is not comforting if you are in the pain of a break-up, but understanding why the one you thought was going to be forever ended may offer you some relief. This Coaches Corner will help!

This episode is about stepping into your purpose and fulfilling your dreams. This week's caller, Mike, thinks his problem is complex, but it's not. His constant search of products and materials leads him to believe his next steps need to come from outside of himself. We discuss how he may be stalling by continuing to do research instead of listening to his internal inspiration and moving forward. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode312] Dreams or anything we long for; the dreams we feel in our heart are different from the kinds of dreams we hope will make us feel better about ourselves, or fill a void. Those are ego-based desires. But, listening inside to hear our heartfelt dreams is part of our psychic ability. And, we are all a little psychic or intuitive. We don't long for something if we don't feel that it is coming. If we have a premonition, on some level our dreams are already coming to fruition. We cannot control the exact timing of it. If we feel it and we want it, it may take a week or ten years because it takes time for dreams to evolve. What stalls a lot of people from really stepping into sharing their gift, or serving people in a greater way, is they think they have to be perfect. To achieve our dreams, we just need to be honest, vulnerable, and committed, not perfect. We have all the answers inside; we just need to take time to question ourselves and answer. Consider/Ask Yourself What heartfelt dreams are calling you forward? Do you have a sense of what you want to do but are not taking action? Do you start a lot of projects but do not follow them through to completion? Are you waiting for some kind of answer or sign from the universe to make a decision? Mike's Question: Mike has a dream of becoming an entrepreneur but he lacks confidence in his decision-making process. He would like to break the cycle of never moving forward. Mike's Key Insights and Ahas: He wants to be an entrepreneur. He put his dream on hold when his daughter was born. He is always looking for the next big thing. He gets easily redirected. He lacks confidence in his decision-making process. He is a Preacher and motivator. He is good at inspiring others. He wants to make a difference in other people's lives. He is in a cycle of frustration. How to Get Over It and On With It: Let his inspiration drive his next steps. Let God use him as an instrument. Write his life experience resume. Meditate and recognize his unique gifts. Start with his big vision and work backward. Takeaways: Write a life experience resume. Re-orient towards an internal direction. Listen to your own inner wisdom. Try it for thirty days. Answer these questions: Who am I here to serve? What can I offer? How can I deliver it? Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

If you ever compare yourself to anyone else, this episode is for you! Learn the difference between healthy and toxic comparison and how to form closer connections when comparison is gone. Melissa Ambrosini is the bestselling author of Comparisonitis, Mastering Your Mean Girl, Open Wide, and the Audible Original PurposeFULL as well as the winner of 'The Best eBooks Of All Time' as voted by Book Depository. Melissa is the host of #1 rated podcast The Melissa Ambrosini Show, where she shares her wisdom and interviews with the biggest thought leaders and experts in the world to help her audience unlock their full potential and live their dream life. When Melissa isn't writing books and recording her podcast she is speaking on stages, teaching and creating online programs, meditations and life changing live events. With a deep commitment to empowering others to become the best version of themselves, Melissa believes that awakening is possible for everyone. She strives to inspire others to reclaim their power, step into their truth, live with intention, and move in the direction of their dreams.

This episode is about making empowered decisions and changes with integrity. Today's caller, Anne, is questioning whether or not she should leave her 25-year marriage. She feels she has tried to communicate her needs. We work through how she is communicating and whether or not she is being vulnerable enough to make an empowered decision. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode311] Often, in masculine-feminine dynamics, it requires the feminine dropping into a deep vulnerability with no victim, no blame, no anger, no reason, just an open, heart-baring, soul truth that ignites the masculine to look within so it can open up. When we are too much in hopelessness-helpless, when we are too much in victim, the only answer seems to be to get out of a situation because we don't feel empowered. One of the ways we get empowered is to look at our side of things and then we communicate vulnerably, because we are not empowered when we communicate emotionally, reactively, or with blame or neediness. And remember, vulnerability is different than a victimy emotional reaction. It has a different frequency and people can hear us when we are vulnerable. They can't hear us when we are emotional or blaming them. It puts their defenses up. They can't hear the truth and intimacy of what we are saying when they are defensive. Consider/Ask Yourself Are you torn about what to do in a relationship? Do you want to stay? Do you want to go? Do you tend to look at what someone else is doing wrong and all the ways that they're not meeting your needs and maybe don't look quite enough at how you're perpetuating it? Are you aware of what your needs are? Are you good at communicating your needs? Do you feel in your gut that you just want to do something but you just can't take the action? Anne's Question: Anne is struggling with the decision to stay in her marriage. Anne's Key Insights and Ahas: She has been married for 25 years and has four children with her husband. She feels she and her husband have grown apart. Her husband says he wants to make the marriage work. Her husband's job and commitments took a lot of his time. She asked him to take more time with her and the children. She collected evidence of the ways he wasn't showing up for the marriage. She doesn't know if she still loves him. Fear may be driving her choice. There is some part of her that may be shut down. She wants to be loved by him. How to Get Over It and On With It: Continue to have vulnerable conversations with her husband. Drop into her feminine vulnerability. Consider where she may have walls up around her heart. Use "I" language, not "you" language. Write out her fears, desires, and insecurities and read them to her husband. Takeaways: If there is something you are looking at that you think is wrong and you just need to get out, consider where the decision is coming from. Are you empowered? Have you been vulnerable? Have you looked inside yourself to see if you are mad or blaming? Do you feel like a victim and feel like the only decision is to leave? Sponsor: Organifi — has organic superfood blends that offer trusted plant-based nutrition. They are convenient and delicious. Many of us have the time or means to get the natural, fresh, organic vegetables we need. Upgrade your nutrition every single day with Organifi Gold, Organifi Vitamin C packs, or Green or Red Juice. For 20% off your order, go to Organifi.com/overit and use the code "OVERIT" at checkout to receive 20% off all products. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Brandy Gillmore, PhD in natural medicine, is a world-renowned mind/body energy expert who is well known for her discoveries in self-healing and working with the power of the mind to get tangible results. Her breakthrough work has been featured in an award-winning documentary and various docuseries. Brandy speaks on stages around the world and has also given a mind-expanding TEDx talk. Brandy's expertise in self-healing originated from her own devastating accident that left her disabled and living in excruciating pain despite being on multiple medications, including morphine. When doctors told Brandy there was nothing they could do, she became determined to find a solution. After years of trial and error, she was able to make incredible discoveries with the mind that ultimately enabled her to heal herself. Today she uses these same discoveries to help others also get radical life-changing results. Today, Brandy works with top celebrities, Olympic athletes, CEOs, entrepreneurs, and groups worldwide sharing her leading-edge discoveries. Her goal is to help advance traditional research to bridge the gap between science and spirituality. You can register for her free video event "Reprogram Your Subconscious Mind for Positivity, Healing & Successful Manifestation" here: https://christinehassler.com/reprogram

This episode is about taking the time to explore life and relationships. Today's caller, Marley, is putting a lot of pressure on her current relationship. She future-forecasts instead of considering what the relationship may be able to teach her. We delve into how she can be curious, explore, and take the pressure off. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode310] Often, we go into relationships wondering if the other person is the one, so much so that we miss out on what we can learn from the other person. It is important to let your early relationships be a discovery process and explore instead of collecting evidence about what may be wrong with the other person if they are THE one, or how to make every relationship the relationship of your dreams. Every relationship is a growth opportunity. It is a misstep to base relationships on their longevity potential. Many times, we get into a relationship, and right out of the gate, we put pressure on it by wondering if the other person could be the one to marry or have children with instead of considering what the other person can teach us, what mirror they may be holding up, what parental patterns, wounds, or issues are they triggering? What could you be attracted to that is also a healing opportunity? Enjoy where you are. Be curious, explore, and take the pressure off. Have you listened to my Coaches Corner episodes recently? Check out Byron Katie on — Loving What Is. Consider/Ask Yourself When you are in a new relationship do you jump to — Is this the one? — and start to analyze it all out? Did you grow up in a home where there wasn't a lot of emotional availability and you panic when you don't have that in a partnership or friendship? Do you spend a lot of time trying to figure things out and not enough time creating and exploring and allowing things just to be? Are you more caught up in judging and changing someone else than looking at how you can meet your own needs? Marley's Question: Marley is struggling with her ability to let little things go and accept her partner for where he is. Marley's Key Insights and Ahas: She is aware and open with her emotions. Her boyfriend may not understand himself emotionally. She is an old soul and emotionally mature. She is putting a lot of pressure on the relationship. She and her boyfriend had an intense connection immediately. There was inconsistency in her childhood. She believed she had to fix her family. She feels pressure to be in a relationship. Her boyfriend is committed to her. She feels intimidated by his commitment. She feels she is one-foot-in and one-foot-out of the relationship at all times. She is collecting evidence against her boyfriend. She doesn't feel heard or seen by her boyfriend at times. How to Get Over It and On With It: Explore herself within her relationship. Stop overthinking, or overanalyzing her relationship. Be curious about her relationship instead of managing it. Communicate her needs in an empowered way. Approach her boyfriend from a vulnerable place. Takeaways: Read or reread 20 Something, 20 Everything, and 20 Something Manifesto. Sponsor: THIRDLOVE — Delivers life-changing comfort for your body with high-quality underwear, sleep, and loungewear. Visit the Fitting Room and take the quiz at Thirdlove.com/overit to find your perfect bra size and style. They have over 80 bra sizes, including half-cup sizes, and great-fitting, comfy loungewear! Use the link to get 20% off the first purchase of your new favorite Seamless wireless bra or loungewear. They have a 100% fit guarantee. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

I am thrilled to Byron Katie whom I respect and adore so much on the show this week! In 1986, at the bottom of a ten-year spiral into depression and self-loathing, Byron Katie woke up one morning in a state of joy. She realized that when she believed her stressful thoughts, she suffered, but that when she questioned them, she didn't suffer, and that this is true for every human being. Her simple yet powerful process of self-inquiry, which she calls The Work, consists of four questions and the turnaround, which is a way of experiencing the opposite of what you believe. Katie has been bringing The Work to millions of people for more than thirty years. Her public events, weekend workshops, intensives, and nine-day School for The Work have brought freedom to people all over the world. Her books include the bestselling Loving What Is, I Need Your Love—Is That True?, A Thousand Names for Joy, and A Mind at Home with Itself. For more information, visit thework.com. Here is a to the worksheets we discussed: https://thework.com/instruction-the-work-byron-katie/

This episode is about discerning between the patterns we can change and which are a part of us. Today's caller, Bree, has patterns coming up when it comes to dating and finding a partner. We discuss how she can bring forth different, more feminine, parts of herself in place of her patterns. When it comes to dating, we get far more accurate information from our bodies, heart, and intuition than we do from evaluation. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode309] At the beginning of dating, there is so much uncertainty. We don't really know the person and we don't know where the relationship will go. There is a lot of excitement, but there is also a lot of uncertainty. Uncertainty can be triggering for some, especially if they had instability in their childhood. Part of how the mind and psyche try to get certainty or control is through evaluation, analysis, and by trying to see into the future. We all have an operating system. A lot of it gets programmed by our childhood, our life, our beliefs, and everything that happens in our environment and society. Then, there is just how we're wired, our personality, our soul journey, etc. It is more important to learn to live with our wiring and find the gift within it than it is to change it. Some things about ourselves are appropriate to change and heal but there are some things that it is best to just accept. Learning to inspire a different part of ourselves in certain situations may be the key to getting what we need. Join me August 18, 2021, at 5 p.m. Pacific for another group coaching call. This call will focus on all things inner child. The cost is only $20 and if you cannot make it live, it will be recorded. Go to ChristineHassler.com/group to sign up. Have you listened to my Coaches Corner episodes recently? Check out Dr. Richard Schwatrz doing parts work with me here — Internal Family Systems. Consider/Ask Yourself Do you notice that sometimes when you're in an unfamiliar situation you do things like ask a question to go to places in your head to try to get some kind of control? Did you grow up feeling safe in a stable household? If you are female and you orientate to being a heterosexual female when it comes to dating do you feel like you can really slip into your feminine energy? Or, if you're in a job that requires you to be in your masculine energy is it difficult for you to make the transition? Are you trying to change things about yourself that are part of your wiring? Bree's Question: Bree feels she is ready for a long-term relationship and would like the tools to assist her in minimizing her projections when dating. Bree's Key Insights and Ahas: She is ready to find a long-term partner. She is looking for someone who appreciates a rural lifestyle. She had a volatile and unstable childhood. Her parents were emotionally unavailable. Her little girl is looking for the stability she never had. She sees the pattern of her previous relationships. She felt judged and would like the freedom to be herself. She uses evaluation as a skill in her job. She is a professional photographer and previously a dance instructor. How to Get Over It and On With It: Get out of her head and into her heart. Help her little girl feel safe. Limit her evaluations and increase her curiosity and magnetism in dating. Create a physical anchor and write a letter to celebrate her evaluator self. Be aware her masculine part is hyper-developed. Discover things that drop her into her feminine energy. Move her body in a feminine way daily. Takeaways: Look at the patterns in your life without making them wrong or bad and determine how much of them are how you are wired. Learn what parts of yourself that need to step back and which need to come forward. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

You are going to learn so much from this episode!! And get to listen to a live demo of Dr Schwartz doing parts work with me. Richard Schwartz began his career as a family therapist and an academic at the University of Illinois at Chicago. There he discovered that family therapy alone did not achieve full symptom relief and in asking patients why, he learned that they were plagued by what they called "parts." From these explorations with parts work, the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model was born in the early 1980s. IFS is now evidence-based and has become a widely-used form of psychotherapy, particularly with trauma. It provides a non-pathologizing, optimistic, and empowering perspective and a practical and effective set of techniques for working with individuals, couples, families, and more recently, corporations and classrooms. In 2013 Schwartz left the Chicago area and now lives in Brookline, MA where he is on the faculty of the Department of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School.

This episode is about grieving parents and moving through loss. Today's caller, Tania, is a new mom who is caring for her aging father. She is struggling with making decisions that are best for everyone involved. We talk through the guilt that is influencing her decisions and how she can make self-honoring choices that are the best for everyone involved. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode308] When it comes to making choices for someone we love it can feel hard not to let guilt or obligation be involved. When we allow guilt and obligation into our decision-making we aren't making the choices that are truly in the highest good for everyone concerned. Guilt and shame prevent us from being able to honor our feelings and from navigating the many different emotions, perspectives, and thoughts of being human and going through life-changing experiences, and dealing with family members and people who are sick or difficult. It is OK to choose something that may feel selfish but is self-honoring and in the best interest of everyone involved. There is no one-size-fits-all approach when making big decisions like what to do with an aging parent. You have to tune in and make a decision from love, not guilt about what is best for everyone involved. When we hang on to someone, it can create an energetic obligation for them to stay longer. There are two deaths we have to grieve for our parents. The physical death and the death of the ideal. When we allow ourselves to grieve, our heart breaks open so healing can begin. Would you like to win a free 30-minute (unaired) session with me? To add your name to the drawing, leave a rating and review in your podcast listening app. When the review posts take a screenshot and upload it to ChristineHassler.com/review. I'll choose the winner in the first week of August. We are opening up enrollment for the March 2022 session of our Elementum Coaching Institute. This early-bird pricing opportunity gives your $2,500 off tuition. Our first class sold out in two weeks, so secure your spot today. Consider/Ask Yourself Do you like to have control? Would you rather have control than massive uncertainty? Do you do better in the known rather than the unknown? Do you deal with guilt if you're not doing what you think you're supposed to be doing or taking care of people in the way that you're supposed to? Have you lost a parent or are you on the brink of losing a parent? Do you struggle with what's the right thing to do when it comes to you caring for your parents? Tania's Question: Tania is feeling anxious about how she will manage caring for her father and managing her life. Tania's Key Insights and Ahas: After an accident, her 80-year-old father can no longer take care of himself. Her mother passed 13 years ago. She and her brother are caring for their father. She has a baby and a full-time job. She had to take medical time off from work. She feels guilty and is starting to grieve for her father. She is frightened when she thinks of her father's passing. She holds on to an image of what she thought her future would be. She is finding the role reversal difficult. How to Get Over It and On With It: Realize it is okay to be feeling what she is feeling. Allow herself to start letting go and grieve her father. Release her attachment to what she thinks "should" be. Find a way to get outside help for her father. Give energetic permission to her father to transition when it is his time. Her body and nervous system have been in overdrive. Takeaways: Don't wait to grieve until someone dies. Allow yourself to have the feelings and start the process before a loved one transitions. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Jess Bell, D.O. is an Osteopathic Physician – board-certified in both Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation and Neuromusculoskeletal Medicine – and Energy Healer. Dr. Jess is the founder of Energetic Osteopathy™, which is a powerful modality that bridges traditional osteopathic treatment and energy medicine. What makes Energetic Osteopathy™ unique from other energy healing modalities such as Reiki, is that the treatment takes place with great specificity within the tissues of the body. As an osteopathic physician with over twenty years of hands-on treatment experience, Dr. Jess "sees" into the body with great clarity. This inner sight allows for the transformational release of even the most difficult to locate energetic densities out of the physical body, returning the body to health and wholeness. It is essential that we recover the often forgotten truth that healing comes from within, and it is Dr. Jess's greatest intention to offer this healing and guidance with easy-to-apply information, treatment, and self-healing practices.

This episode is about looking inside and healing unresolved issues. Today's caller, Sarah, went through a breakup and is having a hard time letting it go. We work through how when we don't have our needs met as children we may fumble with our needs as an adult. If you are not going through a breakup right now you will relate to this conversation if you have ever tried to fix something in your life that was not working. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode307] Often, we attempt to work out our childhood wounds through dating and relationships. Unconsciously, we look for someone like mom or dad and think — oh this feels familiar. And, we confuse familiarity for love. But they are not the same thing. That is why we sometimes feel scared to do unfamiliar things. Because we confuse unfamiliarity with not being safe. We try to heal our childhood by drawing in people who remind us of it. This creates issue-based relationships that become addictive. We are looking for a relationship to fix the issue rather than doing self-honoring, internal work. When we do the work we avoid attracting those kinds of relationships in the first place. Sometimes we have the expectation that we have to have a certain personality or be a certain way. When we are in our pain, we do not like the pain and we don't like ourselves in the pain. And, judgment of ourselves and our process only slows us down. It makes things worse. Healing happens when we accept the phase we are in. In a relationship, we all need total honesty, trust, loyalty, intimacy, and someone to hear us and see us without gas-lighting us. Would you like to win a free 30-minute (unaired) session with me? To add your name to the drawing, leave a rating and review in your podcast listening app. When the review posts take a screenshot and upload it to ChristineHassler.com/review. I'll choose the winner in the first week of August. Consider/Ask Yourself Do you have a hard time letting go of things even when you know you're supposed to but you just can't seem to let go? Did you grow up in a house where you didn't feel securely attached? Maybe your parents were emotionally unavailable, unpredictable, or there was chaos in your house? Have you ever been in a situation where you feel like the situation itself makes you needier? You look at a relationship, career, or friendship and don't even recognize yourself because of some of your behaviors. Do you feel like you have done a lot of work and you have a lot of awareness but you find yourself in the same position over and over? Sarah's Question: Sarah is having difficulty letting go of a relationship and feels like she should be doing better. Sarah's Key Insights and Ahas: Her breakup happened three weeks ago. She is setting unrealistic expectations. She felt insecure in the relationship. She is grasping for the relationship. Her parents did not meet her needs as a child. She didn't feel emotionally safe in the relationship. She did not feel enough as a child. She's done a lot of work and is aware of her parents' shortcomings. She continues to repeat past patterns. She is holding anger and resentment toward her parents. How to Get Over It and On With It: Grieve the death of what she wanted her parents to be. Allow little Sarah to express her hurt and anger. Ask the universe for the resources to help her heal. Realize the relationship came in because she is ready to go deeper. Takeaways: Go back to the little girl, little boy, or little one inside and allow yourself to get super clear about what you wanted from your parents that you never got and that you are more than likely never ever going to get and allow yourself to grieve it. Let go of trying to fix a relationship, the way you look, a job, or a friendship. Stop looking out and look in. That is always where the healing is. Sponsor: ShipStation — Do you have an online business and want to reliably ship things without micromanaging the process. ShipStation software tracks all of your shipments in one easy-to-use interface. Over and On With It listeners can try ShipStation for free for 60-days by using the offer code 'OVERIT'. Go to ShipStation.com and click on the microphone at the top of the page to let Shipstation help your business grow and thrive. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Internationally bestselling author Michelle Masters has been a Personal Development Trainer and Coach since 1995. Michelle's work is an innovative use of Neuro-Science based change techniques, Family Constellation work, and quantum healing modalities combined with profound understandings of what creates transformation and lasting change for people. Her hugely popular Money Magic workshop has helped people all over the world to transform their lives and money. Learn more here: https://michellemastersnlp.com/

This episode is about rejection. Today's caller, Claudia, experiences sadness when she feels rejected. We talk through her feelings of rejection and uncover them to be something she did not connect until this session. If you have a pattern of feeling rejected you will benefit from listening to this episode. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode306] Many times sweet people, or big feelers, people who are more comfortable in sadness than in anger, hold stuff inside rather than confronting others. Anytime we feel rejected, even as a child, there is a part of us that is really pissed off. We get angry when we are rejected but, many times because the hurt is so big we want to figure it out. The mind can't figure out why a parent would ever reject us. No child can figure it out. A child can't work through the understanding that a parent has their own issues. So we end up resenting the people who reject us. Energetically if you walk around as a wounded child who was rejected it will be hard to pull in a person or match who fully sees you. But, by taking your power back, it will open up space in your life. When you have resentments in your heart it is hard for people to get in. They don't want to be someone else you resent. Carrying around resentments can push people away. As long as there is a part of you who hasn't forgiven your family of origin, for being rejected, you will feel resentment. Forgiveness is not condoning, it is letting go of the judgment. Would you like to win a free 30-minute (unaired) session with me? To add your name to the drawing, leave a rating and review in your podcast listening app. When the review posts take a screenshot and upload it to ChristineHassler.com/review. I'll choose the winner in the first week of August. Consider/Ask Yourself Do you ever feel rejected? And, no matter what you do you can't seem to get over the pattern of rejection? How are you with anger? Are you someone who can handle sadness but when it comes to anger, that's a different story? Do you ever feel people don't choose you because of who you are and you constantly try to be someone you are not? Do you ever feel like you're rejected because other people feel jealous of you? Claudia's Question: Claudia feels rejected when people are afraid to get close to her and jealous of her. Claudia's Key Insights and Ahas: She recently went through a breakup. She says men are attracted to her energy but afraid of her leadership. She feels women are jealous of her. She feels rejected. She repeats patterns of not being enough and not feeling seen. She retreats rather than confronting others. A family member rejected her. She feels sadness more than anger. She tried very hard to be seen as a child. How to Get Over It and On With It: Find people who are in alignment with her. Deal with the anger she feels about being rejected. Forgive herself for the beliefs that perpetuate the lens of rejection and resentment. Do not make herself wrong or dim her light. Give little Claudia a voice and allow her to be mad or angry. Takeaways: If you deal with resentment, look at where you feel sad and rejected. If you deal with a lot of rejection, look at where you may feel resentful. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Steven Kessler has been a psychotherapist in the San Francisco Bay Area for almost 30 years, teaching both locally and internationally. He is a certified EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) Expert and Trainer, and is the bestselling author of The 5 Personality Patterns, a simple, clear, true-to-life map of personality that gives you the key to understanding people and communicating with them effectively. More information and descriptions of the patterns are available at www.The5PersonalityPatterns.com. Steven loves teaching and helping people grow. He can be reached at [email protected]

This episode is about acquiring a healthy relationship between giving and receiving. Today's caller, Carrisa, gives to everyone except herself. We talk through ways she can fill her cup before helping others, how to shed the imposter syndrome, and the importance of committing to her inner child. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode305] We cannot give and give and then expect to feel great. It is beautiful to help people but from a full cup. Otherwise, we deplete ourselves and try to make ourselves feel better through others. It does not work. Anyone who gives and gives and gives to others but does not give to themselves will not feel worthy. People-pleasers, over-givers, and martyrs never feel worthy because they give so much. You have to be able to receive from yourself and others to feel worthy. You can help and give but you need to be supported as well. When you have healthy boundaries, a lot of support, and are checking in with your inner child you can help and serve others from a full cup. You won't feel like an imposter because you will be practicing what you preach. Would you like to win a free 30-minute (unaired) session with me? To add your name to the drawing, leave a rating and review in your podcast listening app. When the review posts take a screenshot and upload it to ChristineHassler.com/review. I'll choose the winner in the first week of August. Consider/Ask Yourself Do you have resistance or laziness that comes out when it comes to doing things that are just for you or doing things that are outside the realm of your normal day-to-day activities? Did you grow up in a house where you didn't feel seen? Do you often dread doing something because you're afraid you're going to disappoint other people? When it comes to serving others, are you doing it because it makes you feel good or because that's the way you love yourself? Carrisa's Question: Carrisa is uncertain of whether her feelings are intuition or conditioning and why she feels resistance. Carrisa's Key Insights and Ahas: She worries about affecting the people around her. She is a people-pleaser with hints of a savior complex. Her childhood home was chaotic and she felt invisible as the 6th child of 7 children. She judges herself for being lazy and being resistant. She tends to go with the flow. She understands herself but puts herself last. She feels complacent in her marriage. She hasn't taken a lot of time for herself. She wants to integrate her passion into her massage therapy work. She feels like an imposter when it comes to coaching. She is imbalanced when it comes to giving and receiving. How to Get Over It and On With It: Be her own client and keep an observation journal about her boundaries and her decisions. Listen to her alarm systems and check in with little Carrisa. Color with little Carissa 15-minutes a day. Have conscious conversations with her husband about co-parenting. Stop trying to heal herself by helping others. Takeaways: Become your own client. Instead of judging and analyzing yourself, observe yourself neutrally. Connect with your inner child and make them a commitment in your life. Stop people-pleasing and make yourself a priority. Sponsor: THIRDLOVE — When was the last time you treated yourself to a perfectly fitted new bra or sleepwear? Visit the Fitting Room and take the quiz at Thirdlove.com/overit to find your perfect bra size. They have over 80 bra sizes, including half-cup sizes, and great-fitting, comfy loungewear! Use the link to get 20% off the first purchase of your new favorite bra from the limited edition summer style collection or sleepwear. They have a 100% fit guarantee. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

If you have struggled this past year (or really ever), you are going to love this episode. Speaker, life coach, and author Andrea Owen joins Christine for a vulnerable and inspiring conversation on mental health and healing trauma. Andrea is creating a global impact in women's empowerment with her books being translated into 18 languages and available in 22 countries. She helps high-achieving women maximize unshakeable confidence, and master resilience. Her latest book, Make Some Noise: Speak Your Mind and Own Your Strength is coming in August 2021. You can learn more at andreaowen.com.

This episode is about cutting ties with a toxic family member. Today's caller, Alison, continues to relive the cycle of abuse she received from her mother. There is a part of her that believes her mother will one day change and give her the love she desires. If you have someone you are considering ending a relationship with, you will get great value from this session. If this particular circumstance doesn't apply to you, you can probably relate to a situation where you want to do something but guilt and obligation are keeping you from making a self-honoring decision. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode304] Just because someone is related to you, even a parent, doesn't give them the right to be in your life. When we are the parentified child it is confusing in the psyche and that is why there is a lot of guilt and obligation. Because as a parent, you can't imagine abandoning your child. You would still love your child no matter what happened. That is the appropriate order of things. We are not supposed to be a parent to our parents. So, when it comes to cutting ties with a family member it is tricky. It is difficult because we are in role reversal. Much of the guilt comes from being the parental figure to our parents which makes it hard to cut them off. This is not a healthy dynamic. What I have learned about boundaries, family, and having a healthy life is that continuing to be in a relationship with someone, even our mother, who is abusive, volatile, or who cannot respect boundaries, just because they are a family member out of guilt and obligation is not love. Sometimes it is cutting ties with someone that may be the catalyst for them to wake up and do their own work. Would you like to win a free 30-minute (unaired) session with me? To add your name to the drawing, leave a rating and review in your podcast listening app. When the review posts take a screenshot and upload it to ChristineHassler.com/review. I'll choose the winner in the first week of August. I have a great course for those who want to be coaches or those who want to learn more about personal development. Unleashed is a program I did in collaboration with Ever Coach from Mindvalley. I teach you the 4 Levels of Coaching Mastery for Maximum Client Impact. Go to ChristineHassler.com/unleashed for more information. Consider/Ask Yourself Is there someone in your life who does not deserve it and it is not healthy to have them in your life anymore? Are you often the peacemaker in the family or other relationships? Are you still living in a fantasy of what you wish your parents or someone in your life could be when you need to grieve what they are? Do you love yourself and your family enough to put firm, healthy boundaries around you so you can break generational patterns and trauma? Alison's Question: Alison wants guidance about how to have an adult relationship with her abusive mother. Alison's Key Insights and Ahas: She had a traumatic childhood. She has difficulty setting healthy boundaries. She was the caregiver in the relationship with her mother. She has a seven-year-old son. Her grandmother was an important part of her life. Her mother's boyfriend was verbally abusive. Her mother never stood up for her. Her son has very little contact with her mother. Her son triggers her childhood memories. She worries that she will lose other family relationships if she cuts ties with her mother. She is betraying her needs and her inner child. Her mother doesn't want her to change. Her inner child thinks her mother will one day change. She is the peacemaker in the family. How to Get Over It and On With It: Have a clarifying conversation with her brother and grandfather about her decision to break ties. Stop justifying her mother's behavior. Find peace within herself. Takeaways: Ask yourself where you may be in a relationship out of guilt and obligation? Where are you the peacemaker when you don't have peace? What ties do you need to cut? Why do you protect someone else's feelings more than the energy of your inner child? You deserve healthy boundaries. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Dr. Shefali is an expert in family dynamics and personal development, teaching courses around the globe. She has a doctorate in clinical psychology and specializes in the integration of Western psychology and Eastern philosophy, bringing together the best of both worlds for her clients. She has written five books, three of which are New York Times best-sellers, including her two landmark books The Conscious Parent and The Awakened Family. Her newest book is Radical Awakening Oprah has endorsed her work as revolutionary and life-changing. Dr. Shefali's ground-breaking approach to mindful living sets her apart as a leader in the field of mindfulness psychology. As an international speaker, she speaks at events around the globe, spreading her message of conscious parenting and mindful living. She also has a private practice where she consults with families and couples. You can learn more here: https://www.drshefali.com/

This episode is about speaking our needs in relationships. Today's caller, Shelly, is great about articulating her needs in some aspects of her life but when it comes to matters of the heart, she suffocates herself. We discuss how clarifying questions can be self-honoring and relieve her anxiety. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode303] Not knowing where we stand in a relationship is like pulling off the Band-Aid slowly. A slow painful rip off the heart. Whereas articulating our needs and having a clarifying conversation may be like ripping the Band-Aid off fast but it is better than the slow burn of hurt. Put yourself in a place of empowerment. When we give our power away and just wait for someone else to tell us where we stand. It produces anxiety. It is like sitting in the back seat of a car while someone else is driving. You don't know where you are going. You can't control the speed limit. You are just sitting there hoping it turns out okay. It feels terrible to experience so much anxiety. When we clarify our needs to someone, even if it doesn't turn out the way we want it to, at least, we can start the healing process. Needs are not a weak thing to have. It is natural and normal for human beings to have needs. Our needs extend beyond things like survival. We need human connection and we need things in relationships. It is not needy to speak your needs. It doesn't make you weak and it doesn't make you codependent. We get fooled into believing that someone not rejecting us, or someone not judging us is better than not making self-honoring choices for ourselves. Consider/Ask Yourself Are you silencing yourself in relationships? Are you getting your needs met? Do you even know what your needs are? Are you afraid to articulate your needs for fear of judgment, loss, or rejection? Are you good at speaking up in some aspects of your life, but not so great at speaking up in others? Shelly's Question: Shelly has been dating online and would like guidance on how to handle ghosting and being disrespected. Shelly's Key Insights and Ahas: She has cerebral palsy and uses a walker. Her past dating experiences include being ghosted. She feels abandoned and doesn't get closure in relationships. She wants to be an advocate for others with disabilities who are dating. She gets anxious when someone doesn't respond to messages. She is able to articulate her needs except for when it comes to relationships. She would rather have the truth than uncertainty. She overthinks situations. She gets nervous about meeting people for the first time. How to Get Over It and On With It: Have a clarifying conversation with her current boyfriend to fully articulate her needs. Write a letter to the guy from college she doesn't intend to send. Go out do something she loves and meet someone who sees her and her walker. Lean into her gift of speaking her needs and stand in her power. Takeaways: Make a list of all the relationships in your life. Look at where certain needs aren't being met and make yourself accountable for having a clarifying conversation. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

You are probably someone who has done a lot of work on yourself. You've read the "self-help" books, you listen to podcasts like this one, maybe you have a therapist or coach or have attended workshops. You have a LOT of awareness and have grown so much which is AWESOME. And . . . there may be some ways that the industry of personal development is not supporting you and this episode addresses some of those ways.

This episode is about the parts of ourselves we develop to meet our needs and protect ourselves. Today's caller, Emily, didn't have her needs met as a child and her protective strategies are still active in her life. We work through the understanding that even things we may not like about ourselves, or get frustrated by, are things that have positive intentions and are trying to help us. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode302] We all can be hard on ourselves, especially those of us who have a lot of awareness and have been doing personal development and healing work. Sometimes we get frustrated with ourselves and find ourselves doing things we think we should know better than to do. Or, we know the reason we are doing something but we can't seem to change it and we judge ourselves. We have different parts of ourselves that develop over time to protect us and meet our needs. It's important to be compassionate with these parts, welcome them, and seek to understand them, rather than shame them. That's when we start making progress. Compassion and acceptance are absolutely necessary if we want change. So often we go after change by being hard on ourselves, by being judgmental, by being critical or too analytical and we don't love the parts that are hard to change. But, when we love, accept, and seek to understand them we release their influence over us. I have a great course for those who want to be coaches or those who want to learn more about personal development. Unleashed is a program I did in collaboration with Ever Coach from Mindvalley. I teach you the 4 Levels of Coaching Mastery for Maximum Client Impact. Go to ChristineHassler.com/unleashed for more information. Consider/Ask Yourself Are there habits you have or ways you act that frustrate you? You don't like them, you judge them, and you want to change them. Did you grow up feeling wanted and really seen? Does it matter to you to matter in the world? Do you want to be relevant and sometimes question if you are relevant? Even if you logically know you are worthy, do you sometimes deep down, or maybe not even that deep down question your worth? Emily's Question: Emily is looking for guidance on how to break the habit of feeling unworthy. Emily's Key Insights and Ahas: She keeps a mood log. She is defensive, even over small things. She expects people to treat her poorly. She feels irrelevant and unworthy. As a child, she didn't feel wanted or seen by her parents. She felt she was taking up space with all of her emotions. Her sensitivities are a gift. She's a people pleaser. It calms her to ask for help and support. How to Get Over It and On With It: Learn how to nurture and care for her needs. Promise herself to ask for more of what she needs. Become aware of when she is defensive and thank it for helping her be seen. Takeaways: Be curious about your "parts" and behaviors that have positive intentions. Consider how you can get the positive intentions in a different way. Compassion and curiosity are your superpowers. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Sometimes the experience of loneliness can feel so painful that connection seems almost impossible. If that feels true for you, here is a four-step process you can use to support yourself in relieving feeling lonely.

This episode is about changing your role in a chaotic family. Today's caller, Julia, is a highly sensitive person with amazing gifts. She is at a choice point about how she wants to use them. She is looking for permission to pursue her life through authentic expression. Many relate to the feeling of conflict between familial obligations and pursuing your soul's journey. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode301] Ultimately, we do not know why our souls choose our families. But, we often come into families and family systems to break generational patterns. And, many of us experience family conflict if we are here to break generational patterns. Part of our soul's journey is to not repeat the patterns. But, it is tricky because there's an inner child piece that still wants to be loved and accepted by the family. It can be hard because we love the family and it feels like a betrayal to go and do our own thing. One of the biggest gifts we can give our families is to embody and demonstrate what healthy looks like or what breaking patterns looks like. Not playing a role in the family can give other members a chance to get out of their roles. From the outside, breaking generational patterns can appear as mean or selfish. But, what we do allows everyone else the freedom to change their roles. We teach the most through our actions. If you have been wanting to join my Personal Mastery Course but just haven't done it yet, now is a great time to sign up. On July 8, 2021, there will be a one-day event including personal coaching from me. Go to ChristineHassler.com/Mastery to join. The call will be recorded if you cannot make it live and you will have this course for life. Interested in a Breathwork and Meditation Course, including anger release? Go to ChristineHassler.com/breathwork. Consider/Ask Yourself Are you a highly sensitive person or empath? Did you grow up in a house where you didn't feel understood? Did you grow up around a lot of chaos? Is there a lot of family, social, or work drama where you tend to be the anchor? Do you calm everyone down but then feel drained? Is there something you want to pursue but you feel you would be betraying people if you follow your soul's calling? Julia's Question: Julia feels she can't escape her family's chaos and would like guidance on how to grow in life without allowing her family drama to hold her back. Julia's Key Insights and Ahas: She is a highly sensitive person who is part of a chaotic family. Her father was physically abusive. Her mother suffered from panic attacks. Her older sister has bipolar disorder. She feels caught up in her family's drama. She is pursuing acting opportunities. She is in a relationship and considering having a family but doesn't want to pass on a generational pattern. She has a desire to be creative. She feels like a crutch for her sister. Taking care of her family is not her calling. She is resilient. She dishonors herself when she gets caught up in the family drama. She wants to channel her energy in more productive ways. How to Get Over It and On With It: Prioritize herself. Process her feelings. Pursue her life through creativity. Tell little Julia her family is not her responsibility. Set boundaries to protect her energy. Takeaways: Do you relate to being a highly sensitive person and the gifts that come with it? Are you allowing your energy to be depleted or do you use your gift in a generative way? Are you in a situation where you take over responsibility for your family and you are in a conflict between what the inner child and soul want? Consider the generational patterns you are breaking in your family. Do not come from guilt and obligation when interacting with your family. Sponsor: THIRDLOVE — When was the last time you treated yourself to a perfectly fitted new bra or sleepwear? Visit the Fitting Room and take the quiz at Thirdlove.com/overit to find your perfect bra size. They have over 80 bra sizes, including half-cup sizes, and great-fitting, comfy loungewear! Use the link to get 20% off the first purchase of your new favorite bra from the limited edition summer style collection and vacation-ready designs. They have a 100% fit guarantee. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.